SWYC Pasadena Spring Church  Revival 2012

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GYC Southwest

Andre Waller

Resolving Conflicts in Family and Ministry

Dear Father in heaven, we thank you for your love and mercy.

We thank you Lord for not giving us what we deserve, but giving us what your dear son deserves.

We ask Lord that as we are going into this next session of training and understanding the plan that you have for evangelism, we ask that you give us wisdom that is beyond our years.

Okay, so yesterday in the afternoon we talked about evangelism and the idea of an outpost center, Okay?

But before I go too deeply into that idea again, if you have an outpost center, a center that is outside of the city, It will consist of families, consist of people who have to get along.

And I speak with a smile on my face, but in reality it is a crying shame and a pity that There are very few outpost centers functioning at a high level in this country of the United States of America where we have all this wealth and affluence and ingenuity, but things aren't working.

I live currently on a piece of property that has 169 acres.

There is 2 trailer homes on the property, a white house and a blue house.

And every building that I said to you, the mansion is in complete dilapidation, whatever you know that word is, it's down.

There's supplies for a kitchen, I mean a full commercial kitchen.

Every morning I wake up, if I go outside, and I look To my left, immediately, what I see is this broke down mansion.

And I ask myself the question, how did this place that used to have a publishing press, used to have sanitarian work, that used to have a school, that used to have a restaurant, how did this place come to nothing?

And if you trace it back to the origins of the problem, it's right here.

If you don't know how to solve conflict, how you gonna get along?

If you don't agree with somebody, how do you deal with that?

You have a theological difference with somebody, how do you deal with that theological difference?

They have those problems on that mountain.

Somebody's children are acting up, They're not your children, but those children are acting up.

How do you deal with the other person's children?

Before you start thinking about an outpost sinner, you got to figure out how to deal with the family.

So, real quickly, husband and wife get in an argument.

If the husband goes to his best friend and tells his best friend about the argument that he had between his wife and him, what happens to that relationship?

Sister White calls the family, she calls it the family firm, and she also calls it the family circle.

Now a circle has no outs in it, it's complete and total in and of itself.

It is a circle, No 1 gets in and no 1 gets out, amen.

If I have a problem here, I need to go to her.

What biblical passage talks about this principle?

That if I have a problem with someone, I go to that person.

If I have a problem with a brother or sister, instead of me talking about the brother behind his back, I need to go to my brother and say, look, bro, this is what I see is a problem.

And then what happens is, in that honest discussion, more often than not, if it's honest, the brother will say, oh man, I really misunderstood you.

But if I go and I'm already talking behind the brother's back, then I go to the brother, after I've talked behind his back, da da da da, I squash it, but then I've left this out here.

So now this person has the problem that I gave them based on my understanding of what it was, and now this person is going around, and then when they see this person, they don't even understand why, I don't know why she got beef with me.

Why she got beef, I didn't do nothing to her.

And so now if this person doesn't know how to do Matthew 18, then this person's gonna talk to somebody else about this person while I'm scot-free because I did my part as far as I'm concerned.

And then he'll come back and tell me, I don't know why so-and-so's mad at you.

And I'm thinking, I don't know why she's mad at you either.

All right, so this is, to me, as I've been at my school and I've watched people and I've been in churches and I've watched churches, that's the main problem.

Trying to get people on your side about an issue.

If a wife is going to her mother, talking about me, behind my back, the mother's all mad he's gonna be on her side, and said, why don't you just leave that bad boy?

And then it's just in her ear, and then I'm trying to solve a problem, and she's in her mind.

I don't even know where it's coming from.

So you have to be able to resolve the issues within that circle.

At the mission, because we understand this principle, whatever happens between me and my wife, I don't tell anybody.

It doesn't mean everything's perfect, but nobody knows about anything.

If I have a problem with her, it's right here.

And so outside of that, Lance and his wife, they have to handle those things between each other because that's the other family.

We're 2 families working together to carry forward the work.

So between that 2 families, they handle their problems.

And then when we have a staff meeting, and we have a problem with the staff family, that problem stays right there in the staff family.

The staff family's not gonna call somebody else in another ministry and start talking mess about what's going on in staff right here.

Unless you know there's been an extreme violation and the person is unrepentant, then what happens, What does Matthew 18 tell you to do if the person is unrepentant?

So again, you're still trying to keep it as private as possible.

You're not trying to make it go out there yet.

Resolving Conflicts in Family and Ministry

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