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Sexual Purity: Lost and Found

Danielle Harrison

Description

Through her personal testimony, Danielle hopes to share vital truths about the importance of a life of purity. This presentation outlines some of the influences which shaped her views of life, spiritually, sexuality, and ultimately of God. Her message is a testament to the cleansing power of Jesus Christ.

Presenter

Danielle Harrison

Involved in "Into His Light" Ministries and Associate of "Coming Out Ministries"

Sponsor

Conference

Recorded

  • August 14, 2015
    8:00 AM
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This morning. I am going to be sharing my testimony. And my desire is to share something with you that that show issue that victory is possible that we can live a life where Jesus is living out his will within us. Even if we come from a history. As dark and stained as mine. I am going to be talking about some mature topics today. I'm going to be talking about total purity. And that is going to include sexual purity. And so I'm going to be touching on some things that historically in the church we have shied away from talking about. Now I assure you I'm going to strive to share those in a way that will pave the true ugliness of sin and. My humble prayer is that it will not glorify sin in any way. But I feel like we need to be talking about these things because we can't just pretend like they don't exist and. We need to be presenting them in a biblical wave. So that our young people are receiving the knowledge from God that he can provide because otherwise they're getting all their information from the world. And that is. That's scary and it really isn't safe. So before we proceed on. Let's just say one more word of prayer. Your Heavenly Father. Lord. I am so grateful for the privilege in the honor of being here at the C.Y.C. this morning and sharing the story that you have given. Lord it's your book. I am just the pages and. I cannot convey any these deep spiritual things on my own spiritual things are spiritually discerned so I need you to fill your fulfill your promise from Exodus for twelve. Where you told the stuttering and stumbling Moses. That his part was to go. And you would put your words in his mouth and so I ask you to do that for me this morning. And I ask you also to give spiritual discernment to each and every person here this morning. May they not only hear a story of transformation but. Lord help them to see the spiritual object lessons the spiritual implications of the story along the way. And help them to see how it relates to their life. And how they can apply these things in their own journey in Jesus name I pray in men so I usually start from the very beginning. I really think that the photos. Add an extra dimensions they can really understand exactly where I was along the way so I start from the very beginning my first love was music. I came into a home where my parents were struggling in their marriage. They were not planning on having another child my sister and brother were already six and eight years old when I came into the picture. But nonetheless I was a happy baby I was always loved and. My mom says A soon as I was able I was always singing and dancing. Everywhere that I went and will talk more about my experience with the music all along the way. Just like technology music can be used for good or for evil in this world. I think we're all intrinsically designed to have music as a part of our worship experience and it's easy to use worship. To use music to worship. The wrong things. This is actually a quote from a magazine called the advocate of this is a pro game magazine and Madonna was interviewed and asked about her hands towards homosexuality in her music videos. And this was what she said she said. They meaning the viewers will digest it on a lot of different levels. Some people will see it and be disgusted by it but maybe they'll be unconsciously aroused by it. If people keep seeing it and seeing it and seeing it eventually it's not going to be such a strange thing. And I think she kind of understood something that us as consumers might not always understand that. The sub conscious mind had been studied for almost a hundred years at this point. And they were using it at first to sell their products but now also to sell their views and this is happening more and more in the society that we live in today. And so this quote would have been taken around the same time that I was watching her music videos on M.T.V.. And we didn't have Jesus in our home but we did have the world in abundance through television and radio. And Hollywood movies. I'm going to turn away from that influence and look at a more holy one this is found in the book appeal to mothers on page eleven. She says mothers you cannot be too careful in preventing your children from learning low habits. It's easier to learn evolve into eradicated. After it is learned. Neighbors may permit their children to come to your house. To spend the evening and the night with your children. And here is a trial. And a choice for you to run the risk of offending your neighbors by sending their children to their own home or gratify them. And let them lodge with your children and thus expose them to be instructed in that knowledge which would be a lifelong curse to them. Now when we look at this quote can text really how it's found in the context of the chapter. We see that this lifelong curse that she's referring to. She's actually talking about what she calls self abuse the medical term that we use today is masturbation. And my mother didn't know this council when I was growing up. Unfortunately I was permitted to have frequent sleep overs and this did bring a person to my life. At a very young age. My parents divorced when I was six years old and we moved into some low income. Housing. And it was there in that development that I met a young girl she was my same age. She told me some things later that led me to realize that she was actually being sexually abused by someone in her life. And so she was learning things about her body that she should not have known. And as a result of those experiences. She started sharing those things with me. And so I also started learning things about my body that I should have known so I started interacting with the same sex sexually at the age of seven. And masturbation soon became an addiction for me this was a stronghold in my life. For many years until eventually I gave my heart to Jesus and establish means it during my mother and my sister found out that my relationship with this girl was not quite what it should be they didn't know the extent of what was going on between her and I but they just didn't know how to approach the subject. I think a lot of us. When it comes to sexuality we in the world we just joke and laugh about it because we don't know how to be serious about this topic. And so that's what they did. They started poking fun at me and and making jokes and saying Daniel kisses girls ha ha ha. And you can imagine how humiliating this was for me. Now I was even more confused. And I thought this was something I needed to be ashamed of and I needed to hide. And so I made the decision in my mind that no one else would know about my feelings or practices. Even though they continued and I. Girls came and went as the years went by. When I was nine years old I was actually baptized. I had been attending church and frequently with a family friend and. The pastor sat us down. And he said. Do you believe in Jesus. And we said yes. Do you want him to be your Savior and we said yes. So we read were baptized. But for me as I wanted to be a good girl. I wanted to do the right thing. I had learned a little bit about sexual purity by this time and so I wanted to stay a virgin until I was married and. I didn't want to do alcohol or drugs because I had seen the way that alcoholism had interrupted my my family's experience and been a big factor in my parents' separation. But unfortunately I didn't have a relationship with Jesus. I didn't know how to make those promises real in my life. And to have a relationship with someone. What do you have to do you have to spend time with them. You have to talk with them. You have to come to know who they are and what they're really all about. You have to come to trust them and through that trust develops love and commitment. And this was not an experience that I had had with Jesus. I only had a superficial knowledge of who he was. And I really wasn't making that commitment to him on that day. When I was baptized and so those promises that I made to myself. They melted away very quickly. And we'll see this in my story. Within just a few short years I was really struggling with depression and trying to stick figure out who I was in the world where I fit in and what my place was. I was struggling with depression because I was realizing that I couldn't be that good girl that I wanted to be. I was making a lot of bad decisions in my life I was choosing the wrong friends and I was getting into trouble already. And you know I had gone on and then off of anti-depressant medication. I had started smoking cigarettes when I was only eleven and by this time in my life I was smoking had the Teweles and. You know I just I was really really struggling with the person that I wanted to be is but the person that I actually was. And in that place in my life I was. I was trying to fit in somewhere in in the crowd and. I moved to Washington state. Up in the Pacific Northwest where kind of anything goes and everybody lives out loud and I was seeing some fringe groups that I wasn't exposed to growing up in Wyoming. And so I was intrigued and attracted to some of these French groups like grunge punk and industrial goth and I saw. There were people who were living out loud when it came to their same sex attractions and. Maybe this wasn't something I had to be ashamed of and had to hide. And at this point I started learning about the Bible. We moved in next door to an Adventist family and. One of their sons took an interest in my older sister and so we started spending a lot of time over at our house imagine that. And we started studying the Bible eventually after she went to church within the few times. And my sister says I don't remember this but she says of sometimes I would just cry. And I would say people need to know this why don't people know this. But you know it's it's interesting to me that. I don't remember having said those things I don't remember that I started sending my mom literature on the Sabbath. Because I knew that she loved God and His Word but she didn't know the joy of the Sabbath and and. I had forgotten about that too I think that as we as we walk out of the safety go zone that God has created we start experiencing the things of the world saying does everything that he can to forget us. Or to cause us to forget the things that we have learned about God and about the Bible and about Jesus our Savior. And so I was becoming blinded by the influence of the world to why my sister was choosing to be baptized and to follow the light that she was receiving I on the other hand was aligning myself with a very dark and scary path. And I think that. The great controversy describes what was going on in my heart and mind. It says on page five fifty five that by beholding we become changed. The mind gradually adapts itself to the subjects upon which it does allow to dwell and. I was definitely being changed by the things that I was beholding in the world from those avenues that I said were very prevalent in my home and music I feel was my gateway into this dark and scary place. I remember the night that that shift happened in my mind. And I was sitting on the couch and I was saying you know what. I don't have to do what everybody tells me I need to do. I know the difference between right and wrong and I can make my own decisions. What's the worst that could happen I can be a little bit crazy. I was believing that lie that Satan tells the sings were not true. But I was believing them and they were becoming my own and. I was listening to the CD over and over. As I was thinking these things on the couch in one of those songs said. We make this new religion. To escape what we've become your signal fading so let go to face this retreat sion. And I was definitely being recreated but not in the holy way. Not the way that Jesus designed to recreate my life. And within just one year of that decision. As I was changing on the inside. And that shift was taking place in my heart. I also started to change on the outside my appearance slowly began to change. As the days went on. And now not only was I struggle ing with depression but now. Came in English I the attacks and eating disorders. Eventually suicidal thoughts. You know making the decision to be liberated in my own decision and walking my own way actually made me a slave even more. It made me even more confused it made me even more afraid and that restlessness inside of me just grew. And by the time I was sixteen years old I had to let go of all of those promises I had made to myself as a young girl. I had lost my virginity and. I was already addicted to marijuana. So I had lost sight of all reason to stay pure and. Because I had shared those sexual experiences with my girlfriends. Growing up throughout the years why was it such a big deal to share those things with the boys to. And this year. This is actually the girl that I was baptized with just a few years before actually. And within this year my sixteenth year. My father sat me down he could see the. The pictures on my wall and hear the things I was saying and he sat me down he said then you know if their ways in which you're different from most everyone else. That's OK It's OK for you to be who you are no matter who you are I'm still going to love you and I think that's the attitude that we need to have towards people. But we have to have the truth. With the love. Right. And my father is not a Christian he didn't know how to give that to me the truth with the love. And so with that permission I took on a whole new level of freedom in my life. Not just in the realm of sexuality but also in other areas of my life. This is a quote that I really feel. Helps us to understand this broken promise. Process that I had gone through your promises and resolutions are like ropes of sand. Meaning they're not something we can hold onto They just crumble when we grasp them. You cannot control your thoughts your impulses your affections. I had been trying to do that but to no avail right. The knowledge of your broken promises and forfeited pledges weakens your confidence in your own society and causes you to feel that God cannot accept you. But you need not despair. I wish I would have understood this last sentence right here. You need not despair. When I was sixteen years old but unfortunately I didn't. I didn't know that what I needed was to understand the true force of the will. This is the governing power in the nature of man. The power of decision. Or the power of choice. Everything depends on the right action of the will. The power of choice God has given to men and it is there to exercise. Unfortunately I took that power of decision and I exercised did in a very wrong way. Especially after that permission from my father so I moved away from home. Not long after that conversation I dropped out of school. When I was eighteen years old I quit my job. I shaved my head into a Mohawk and music became my idol. I say that because I was running to my music when I should have been running to God. When I was angry. When I was scared when I was confused when my friends let me down when nothing made sense. My music was where I turned my music was my source of solace and comfort that's what I thought right that the music really just cultivated those feelings of restlessness I didn't realize that I was in this vicious cycle. And new extravagant hair makeup and dress became my way of life. Because art and music were the only things that really made sense to me anymore I wanted to be the host things. I wanted to be art and. So I started frequency. Frequenting the concert scene fountain Seattle and. So now as I was forming friendships with the band members that. Saying this music. Now I wasn't only idolizing the music but also the band members and I got sucked into the rave scene eventually. And that led into other addictions other drugs and. And I was really addicted to this heavy electronic trance music. I think that sometimes we don't realize that this unhealthy music is very addictive. This unhealthy music is a drug and enough itself and. My favorite costumes always involved horns and. Eventually I just started wearing these to concerts and and rave parties but then I would wear them to the. The grocery store on the Tuesday afternoon. Because now God and Satan were just a fairy tale and. And so why was it not a big deal to to joke about the devil and joke about the Christians who actually believed in all those lies. Because I had. I had forgotten. What I had learned about Jesus and about the Bible. I was pretty much a walking billboard for the enemy. I started drawing stitches and song lyrics on my face and arms and legs. And the most frequent song lyrics that I would write on my skin was remorse is useless now and in this song she screams out in the blood curdling scream at the end of the song over and over again remorse is useless now. God doesn't want us back now baby. God doesn't want us back now baby. And she says it over and over and it was. That was what was ingrained in my brain. I thought that I had walked so far out into my rebellion that God would never want me back. Like that like that code said I didn't realize that I didn't need to despair. Mind character and personality describes the degrading process that I had gone through. It says the mind of a man or woman does not come down in a moment from purity and holiness. To depravity corruption and crime. It takes time to transform the human to the divine or to degrade those formed in the image of God to the brutal. Or the say tannic. Do you see this being played out in my life. What happened to that little girl who loved Jesus then and wanted him to be her Savior. She was buried under a lot of lies and a lot of garbage at this point. My nickname was void. And that was pretty appropriate. Because I was so into inside I was so. Vacant. Because we all have a place within our heart that only Jesus can fill and. When we try and fill that hole with the world. We realize that it doesn't feel it. It actually just leaves us feeling more empty inside and that emptiness had grown and consumed to me and I didn't even really know who I was at all anymore. And I definitely didn't know God or the nature of the great controversy. But God spoke into my heart. One morning. I was thinking about my life and. I heard this voice so clear and so strong and it said. Daniel you've got to change you're going to die. It was a lot like the thought voice that I thought in but it was different than anything that I had ever thought or heard in my mind before. And I knew that this was a call from the divine as as I would call it I was actually kind of reading into Wiccan and Wiccan ism the religion of witchcraft at the time and so I was flirting with the idea of maybe there was something going on in the universe I mean there were things happening in my life that I really didn't believe in coincidence anymore because there's. There was had to be something that was trying to get my attention. And here I was faced with this. This prominent thought in my mind and I knew that it was a call to make to make a serious change and so I did that. I moved away from the city and back in with my father and the country. And I started making efforts to get off the drugs and to start reading into different religions and trying to grow spiritually find God and. I also went vegan. At the time. You know I wanted to see the world become a better place I knew it wasn't. What God designed it to be so I was going to save the world one chicken at a time if that was the best I could do so I started making changes in my life at that point. And you know what I know that this came as a result of my mother's prayers. She was praying intentionally consistently and specifically. She was praying God interrupt her plans. Interrupt her life convict her of her sins and help her to see her need of you. And these were the prayers that. That allowed God the the freedom as a perfect gentleman to move into my life and to start. Reorganizing my priorities and and interrupting my plans. And thus began my quest for knowledge. In the new world. Like I said I was searching for spiritual truth and. So I actually found the the new age spirituality movement and. And that was where I really felt at home and I started settling in there and. Eventually I started getting into new age healing modalities. And I wanted to practice those modalities and. I started getting into divination or reading and eventually that led to spirit channeling. This was what I wanted to do with my life I wanted to become a sharp woman right. So here I am like trying to get back on the straight road right but I'm overcorrecting into the other did turn the other side of the road. And even though I was obtaining all of this spiritual knowledge and. And all of this wisdom from the world right. I still was wrestling inside I still have this spiritual battle going on I didn't I wasn't finding the peace and the contentment that I was hungering for. And I acknowledge the fact that there was a spiritual battle going on there was a battle between self and ego. And right just missing good and. So even though I was finding all of this information. I still wasn't finding what I was truly longing for in my heart. Christ object lesson says. Many are sunk in sin. They long to find a solace for their troubles and certain tense them to seek it in less than pleasures that lead to ruin and death. He is offering them the apples of Sodom. That will turn to ashes. Upon their lips. I continued. In this search. And in the history of my life I mention my same sex attraction in my same sex interactions as a young girl and these had continued through this phase. Up to this phase in my life and. Because I was more attracted to women I was more awkward and shy around them. So it was easier for me to relate to guys. And so it was easier for me to develop friendships and then relationships with guys. So I was usually dating guys. But I never in to earth. Entered into a relationship without saying look I'm more attracted to women and so I can't be in this relationship unless you understand that. I am going to be stepping out of the relationship but only with women and that's not something you can offer me so it's not something that should make you feel threatened. Right. Mean when we enter into this realm. It just breeds confusion and. When we're stepping outside of God's will for our sexuality. We won't find the blessing that God designed to give us through that experience he wants to teach us who he is so as I was in training to a new relationship at this point with someone that I felt the divine had brought into my past. He was more open to my double minded this than the other guys had a lot of the guys I did it said oh yeah that sure. That's fine until it actually started happening and then they'd be like oh this is kind of weird. But this one was open. More than any of the other ones and. And this actually open the doors for more sexual sin for me. When we start on the path of sexual sin it just it grows. And I started getting into pornography and frequenting gentlemen's clubs. Just kind of interesting to me that they call them that because there's no gentleman there. But you know I was just getting pulled deeper and deeper into this. Consuming addiction. That was taking over my life. But none the less my sister could see that my heart was softening. Because when I was running around with several horns on obviously had in a one pack of about God right. But now I was actually talking about spiritual things and I wouldn't get up and walk away when she would talk about God. So she started to invite me out to an Adventist institution and. That was really a challenge for me to make that decision. One of the biggest reasons was because that guy who I thought. Have the divine had let into my life. Said that if I left he would in the relationship because he didn't trust me and I thought. You don't trust me I've never been unfaithful to you. But now I look back and I never allow the relationship to be close so makes sense that he didn't trust me right. So when he said the he would in the relationship this was really you know is very co-dependent I've relied on someone else to complete me. Because only Jesus could do that right and I didn't have Jesus inside so I was looking for something someone else. To complete me. And so I really struggled with that decision but long story short I decided to go and. I was volunteering on the farm for the first four months of my time there I. I expected to just be there for six months but God actually kept me there for three and a half years. And while I was out there in the garden. I entered into a full circle experience of seeing. God's creative power in action. I would take that feeds and I'd put it in the soil and watch it sprout. And then it would grow and it would start to flower and then fruit. And we would harvest those fruits and take them to the market and. As I was handing the fruit to that smiling customer who was saying thank you so much. I was thinking wow this is amazing. You know like there's got to be something more to this experience than just these physical things that I'm seeing here and worshipping here as gods there's gotta be something more. And that and I was actually having the opportunity to see what it really means to be a Christian. And what true since you're Christians are really like because I had kind of made a lot of assumptions about Christians and that they were just. Hypocrites and that they really never walked the walk that they talk to right I didn't really see a lot of Christians with Christ living in them. But here in this place. I was seeing that manifest I was seeing people whose lives were transformed and we're transforming in front of my eyes. Because of Christ Welling within them. And this was powerful for me. And there was one person in particular that I saw the fruits of the spirit within him. I saw this joy. And this peace. And this love in this gentleness that just exuded out from him. And every time I interacted with that man. When we would cross paths and then go our separate ways I would think. I don't know what that man has. But I wanted to. And so I decided that I was going to go to church that Sabbath when he was speaking. And he shared a message that day that interrupted so many things that I had come to believe. You know when I thought about God I thought about light and love and peace and joy. I didn't want to think about death and crucifixion and trial and tribulation right. So the first thing he says when I walk in the churches. Today we're going to talk about the crucifixion. And then my mind I thought oh the crucifixion why that anything but that. And then he said and you. And you may be thinking Oh the crucifixion why that anything but that. And when that man said what I had just thought I knew that God was about to speak to me through him. And he started to describe. Sin. As being those things that when we transgress the law of God we are separated from him. And because God is the source of all life when we're separated from him the natural occurrences death. It's just like gravity it's a lot of nature when we are separated from the source of life. Death comes in and that made sense to me I knew that there were things that separated me from the light. And he said that we deserve that death. When we choose sin. But Jesus bore that death for us on the cross. And if we accept that sacrifice he's freely given than Christ bridges the gap for us to come back to God in eternal life. And I spent the whole rest of the day wrestling with God and trying to to discern these things that were interrupting so much of what I had come to believe. We started to read into ministry of healing and reflecting Christ. As I started going to the massage school there. At the institution God open the doors. Because he saw that my heart was softening even more. And he kept me there at that institution through the school. And as I read through these books right here. I started to see. What it really means to be a cold labor with Christ what it means to be his hands and feet and how we allow Him to dwell within us and to live out his life within us. And these books really. Even though I still wasn't open to listening to a lot of. What my friends had to say about God. These books. Gave me a private place to come to understand the nature of Christ. But eventually God brought someone else into my life. Name's Tom Meyer and him and his brothers have a ministry called Little Light Studios and if you want to learn more about that I have some of their resources available at my booth I want to tell you more about it for time sake I'm not going to tell you more about their ministry but it's a powerful media ministry that shows the great controversy behind the scenes in Hollywood and this brother spend two months at this institution and when he left he gifted me five D.V.D.'s that he has put together. Him and his ministry and the first one that I watch was called Magic Kingdom. And it was all about Disney now Disney was my first musical inspiration to remember music was my first love. So I was excited to watch this. And the first thing that really spoke to me from that documentary was that that Disney says Follow your heart listen to your heart let your heart to side. But the Bible tells us that the hardest to see full of love all things and desperately wicked that we can't know our hearts and we can trust them. And then it started talking about spiritualism them in a cold symbology in witchcraft and Disney and I thought really Disney Come on. But then I started thinking about my two favorite Disney movies growing up. One being steeped in witchcraft and the other being steeped in Native American spirituality and I thought. Is it just a coincidence that the two religions that I'm most interested in as an adult is Wiccan is and witchcraft. Witchcraft and Native American spirituality. I don't believe in coincidence anymore remember. So I thought maybe these movies have influenced my views on spirituality. Then it started talking about how Disney portrays the woman's body. Whether you're watching it old Disney movie or a new one they always have the highly hourglass figure. They have the very coy and seductive facial expressions. The overly sensual body language and. I have we look at those movies. Not only do we see that in the human characters but also the animal characters right. And this documentaries just simply saying that creating this notion of femininity in a child's mind is unhealthy. But for me. The Holy Spirit spoke into my heart clear and strong again. And that's the thought process went like this Danielle you've been programmed from a young age to view life the way that you do. To view spirituality the way that you do. And to view sexuality the way that you do to view the woman's body the way that you do. It's not my plan for your life Danielle for you to be a lesbian. Because at this point. I had thought. You know relationships with a guy is has been the easy way out for me is easy to fall into relationships with guys but my tractions are really towards women and maybe if I can find a woman to commit myself to. Then maybe I'll be happy maybe all have successful relationship and so I said you know I must be a lesbian. But God said at this point that's not my plan for your life and. This showed me these documentaries. Each five of these documentaries. Left me weeping because I was seeing that Satan is real. I believe that there was a struggle against ego right but I didn't believe in fate and I saw that Satan is real that the great controversy is real and that there was a battle for my soul. And I was on the wrong side of the fence. And I would not be safe in till I came over and gave my heart fully and completely to God. And somehow these true is that were portrayed through these five documentaries they broke through the deceptions. That had been laid. Through the foundation of media and Hollywood. Throughout my life. And I come. I came to the point after that week of watching those documentaries that. I surrendered my heart to Jesus. I surrendered my. My life to him and I said. Show me that this is your truth. From the Bible and show me that this is your church. And I'm not going to let everybody know that I'm really studying into rebaptised and that I'm studying into into this church because I don't want everyone else's opinions to sway my decision. Like they have all my life. I want to know from you that this is the direction that I need to move and this is continued on from that quote that I read earlier that says we need not despair right. It goes on to say you cannot change your heart. You cannot of yourself give to God your affections. But you can choose to serve him. You can give him your will. You will then work. He will then work in you to will and to do according to HIS good pleasure. The sure whole nature will be brought under the control of the Spirit of Christ and your affections will be centered upon him. Your thoughts will be in harmony with him. And there was something beautiful. When I I had tried all my life right to do the right thing to be the good girl and and to find my own way and figure out the universe and figure out God. But it wasn't until I finally surrendered my will to him that I finally gave him permission to come into my life and take the things that were the setting for me that I finally started to experience victory. It was amazing because I said Lord I want to hand over every aspect of my life including my sexuality to you. And when I made that decision after seeing those things from God's perspective. When I saw it from God's perspective. He proved away those things in my life that went against his will. My desire for the things that went against his will. Melted away. And it was amazing because like two months went by and I realized after after of a season that I hadn't even thought about masturbation. And that was a stronghold in my life that that had controlled me to such a great degree. A stronghold addiction like masturbation for sixteen years and then all the sudden it's gone and I haven't even thought about it. That is nothing short of America will. And he did the same with the pornography. And with the same sex attractions and that's not how it works for everyone. I'll tell you that much. I know that's not how it works for everyone but God worked a miracle in my life to show that it is possible. And that it is not our work. And that when we allow Christ to dwell within us. We are completely changed we are made into new creatures. All things are passed away behold all things are become new. In the journey I had to continue to walk with him in tomorrow. We're going to be journeying through what I've experienced since my baptism and what God has helped me to realize that I have to enter in to with him that continued surrender that continued walk to stay on that victory. He taught me. Also not to doubt my conversion. When the enemy would come in with his life. I didn't have to doubt that my conversion wins was sincere I could continue walking forward with him and continue pressing to him through prayer. So at that point like I said I made a total surrender in my heart and in my life and that was what brought the change in. And so on September first two thousand and twelve. I was baptized. I died. Nevertheless I live. And as Christ. The now lives within me and you know what that day. I was so excited to be baptized I got baptized in the Battle Creek in South Dakota. And that town there is called head of most and that's true because it's so beautiful. And I was so excited to be baptized that I was thinking OK dunk me done to be done things holding up his hand anything. I now baptize you and I'm like yeah yeah yeah I don't think take a deep breath right. Move the and the creek water was a lot colder than I expected Well when I went down in that water and I didn't have a good breath in my lungs my diaphragm when. And I sucked in a bunch of creek water and I came out. Choking choking the water out of my lungs and. You know I when I Ever since I started sharing this. This testimony I always share that point and at first I was like why do I say that that's really embarrassing you know and I didn't really know why I shared it at first but I think it's important for us to. For me to share this because sometimes we think it's going to be perfect and easy. And sometimes it's not. And sometimes we struggle I send even when I'm dying and I'm still trying to live. We're going to talk more about that journey tomorrow. Even if it's a struggle even if it's a challenge. That's OK because it's better to be choking and living than to just give over and to take in that water and to live in that sin. That will only bring us stuff. So Christ is faithful. When he promises and Philippians one verse six. That we can be confident of this very thing if there's nothing else in the world that we can be confident of we can be confident of this very thing that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. And so on that day that I was baptized I entered into a new covenant with the Lord. And all day before my baptism I wore red dress. And all day after my baptism I wore a white dress. I wanted that to be an object lesson of the cleansing that God had given me and my life of the work that God had done to make me a new creature and to wash me pure and I believed that he had made me pure. And I and I said Lord I want to be. I want to be spiritually and mentally and physically pure. Lord I want you to wash me sexually pure and I want you to keep me because I can't keep myself. And now that I have your hand to hold on to I know my promises are just like ropes of sand but I want to hold onto your hand toward and I know that you can keep me. And I don't even want to kiss someone until my wedding day because I know how slippery of a slope that is and I want you to establish me. In this beautiful level of purity. Within this safety zone so that I can experience that the way that you designed it. And I want you to keep me in this walk of purity. So it is possible. No matter what level of sin that you fall into it is possible. If you hand your life over to God for him to live out his will within you. I beseech you therefore brethren. By the mercies of God that you present your body is a living sacrifice. Wholly acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service and be not conform to this world. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind that she may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. So maybe there's something in your life today. Something that you're realizing that. That is standing in between you and the Lord. Your realizing that God has been calling you to lay this thing down. But you haven't been able to do it. If you haven't been fully surrendering and and fully trusting in him to do it. But today you have a new found courage. In his ability to do it for you and. And today you just want to say Lord I leave us that your feet. And I need you to take it from me because I cannot give it. If today you just want to acknowledge to the Lord that that's the place of surrender that you're at and you want to. You want to acknowledge to all of the angels. In this room that are ready to move forward and help you if you just ask if that is your commitment today and you want to say Lord. I'm surrendering this to you and I'm asking you to walk me forward in the fixture I want to ask you to stand and not just because everyone else is standing I want you to stand because this is the commitment that you are making today. To the Lord that you are going to hand us over to him. Amen amen. God sees your commitment today. He hears your humble cry and he knows what you're struggling with he's just been waiting for you to ask because he has all the resources of heaven. At your disposal. If you will just ask. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father. Lord I want to thank you so much for the ways in which you are the source of our victory. Because I I think that I can safely say that each one of us in this room have experienced that journey of not being able to experience victory. Of our own strength. It's not by might nor by power but it's by your Spirit Lord that's what you said. And lord you've given us so many promises you've given us so much Direction. And to learn today we just want to interest to the experience of moving forward with you. And so learned we lay this at your feet we lay our lives at your feet. We want to be a living sacrifice Lord. We want to surrender. Every member of our body and mind and soul to you to be used for your kingdom. Lord we ask you to give us the power not to use it for self gratification anymore because we see that it only leaves with him to be. And so Lord. As I prayed that night when I saw it from your perspective Lord. Each and every one of us who are standing. Who have seen a little bit more of your perspective today we just want to surrender this thing to your life. In our life. To you Lord. And we submit to your inner working with off. Lord. Don't let this just be superficial don't let this just be a mind. Decision let this be a deep rooted decision that. That yields fruit in our lives. Lord help us to continue to make this sacrifice. And this surrender not just today. When this message of fresh in our minds but every single time the temptation comes and Lord we invite you now to bring back the remembrance of this conviction and this truth. And this clear picture. In the face of temptation Lord. As we turn to you. So Lord help us to walk in newness of life today. And help us by faith to believe and know that this change is happening. And have happened. And it will continue to happen as long as we keep walking with you and keep our hands and. Thank you Jesus. In your name. This media was brought to you by audio. A website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio. And much more. If you would like to know more about how do you know if you would like to listen to more sermon leave. W W W dot audio dot org.

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