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Logo of 2016 True Education Symposium

The Perfect Parent

Jeanie Mabley

Conference

Recorded

  • June 29, 2016
    10:30 AM
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Our Father we come to you our loving heavenly Father. And we come to you in the name of Jesus our Savior our elder brother our best friend in our intercessor we need your help to be like you. So that our kids can learn to be like you and be used by you to hasten your coming finish the word and we just pray now. That your spirit will heal us bring all our minds into captivity that we can hear you talking to us pray this in Jesus' name amen. I had lots of time just before I got here. To think. And our unexpected hour to get here and it was good. Since last night. And this morning. I have realized the importance of the galling bag and reviewing. What we learned yesterday song because when I asked my husband. Do you remember what I said he said I don't remember that. And I thought all you have to review when your teach. You gotta say it and then explain it and say it and then test it you use it so you can't just say it once. So. I wanted to just review before. Maybe it was three things that we went over yesterday when we looked at the life of Christ. That's extremely important to lay this foundation to build those beautiful characters in our. Children to be like Jesus. We want to educate them but there's more than just facts. We want them to have a desire to learn and to have God's wisdom and to become useful. So we stated yesterday that Jesus was in the country home. Needed to be in a country home but he was not in that ideal place but Jesus wants us to aim for that ideal home for our children and. I just wanted to and as I was thinking about their ideal Satan we know has done everything to fill minds with noise and sound all the technology we know there and even I who love nature. I was thinking when I hid in the car once the kids left home. I would turn on the radio. And I listen to a good religious station listen to a preacher or listen to music but since studying for this. Tall the last four months I have been looking at the life of Jesus the beginning life the end life and it dawned on me when I get in the car. I just want to talk to the little hard just sort of meditate on those thoughts that I've had and I quickly turn on my radio and that's the same concept when we are putting ourselves in nature where we don't see our neighbors. We don't see other people to distract the thoughts it's not that we want to we are not wanting to be neighborly but we were our world is just a hole full of no needs. You can't hear God's voice is the effect of way God can intervene in that but for children. Ashleigh you want to be sure we watch there in Rhiannon not to shelter them but to help them hear God's flies. When we supposedly had a country home. We had a neighbor on one side all the other side was country it was a beautiful pasture you could see the mountains but we had a neighbor. And they had little kids and we had big kids. And we had a play house and so those neighbors. I remember would come over to our house when we were having worship in the morning we had a nice porch with French doors down to the ground and they would peek in the window at us when we were having worship can come out to play. So that was always a distraction and I look back and say oh all we thought we were in the country and then my daughter's baby sat down. And mistakenly I love my daughters to go to their house to babysit stead of coming to my house so their house all different and our house. And I just want to make that point that it's very important to surround your children with nature and nothing they'll distract and the same with their schools. OK sell country home and the second thing we went over. Was associations which was the reason for the country home. One of them and really want to emphasize those associations that's a very difficult one to your apparent wall social we parents want to socialize with other adults when we're together with family. And it really takes self-discipline to have a focus on your children during that time and not let the children be with the children. And you are right with the children. Children are good can be good but they're still children. I see Kerry nodding. You know all those conversations they just I have a hard time especially as sad with my conversations with other adults and kids will have a harder time. So parents just remember it's a hard road. I was talking to my daughter about friendship because she had a very hard time having a best friend and she said mom it wasn't so much. There weren't friends. They didn't have the same values. While it's hard for a kid. If you're wanting those friendships and it was very hard. You just have to prayerfully go through that. And the third thing. Associations. His parents took time to teach Jesus the laws and the sacred history that time parents that worship time morning any meaning no matter watch seven days a week. I know as I've been preparing for these talks the last three nights I've thought all line and I didn't have time for worship. Quick prayer so I can't believe that you know it just takes discipline of class and discipline but. God can give that to us and I know she saw us when he was do you see as time of his life in ministry he would get up a grade deal before dawn. And he would say. Day and after his disciples probably fell asleep and. Maybe one just has to pray Lord. You know the business of my schedule you know I need sleep. Just a way can me you know what I need you could give yourself two hours and maybe one hour would be adequate or half an hour. You know just pray the Lord will awaken you and give you the time you need. And if that's your desire you know honor that. So we have a country home. We have we're watching associations and we're getting the time with the Lord and the whore. Thing we were covering was teaching that Sal discipline that self-control of the child that self-government of the child and I have no idea what Beatrice cover this morning. Maybe she covered that but that's where we left off yesterday. And I had forgotten to tell you this little test that was done that showed the importance of teaching that self-control is call waiting for gratification controlling yourself and waiting or obey and this study was done to some four year olds. They were while they didn't know how they'd been trained but the researchers wanted to know all if. Waiting for gratification. Would make a difference in the future of these children these four year olds had learned with that make a difference in their future education learning ability success in life I think we know the answer. But they thought they wanted to find that out so they brought four year olds one four year old child into a room and they offer them a marshmallow they can have this yummy marshmallow or they can get to if they waited ten minutes. Just ten minutes. And they did that and they followed those children through their to their high school years and it was incredible every one of them that waited for that second marshmallow world leaders in school higher academics. It is a basic basic moral skill and academic skill drill it you're you're teaching an academic skill. Of self-discipline of that self-control of us time poor and self-control. So parents. If you're just to get that book in front of your child and get them reading Remember it takes time to teach these other things and they're in there wanting to learn and that's very good and you answer their questions you can do all that but if they don't have self-control your ability to teach is going to be very very difficult and I know teachers. Once they get these kids in the classroom are going to be very thankful for those children who have sowed control. So I've read a little exercise that some parents did he I think the father was a teacher. And he realized his five year old had big trouble with. What we call a self-control she couldn't sit very long now we all say the girl out of it. But he knew that something you can T. H. and soul. Since he was teacher and he wanted his daughter to succeed in the classroom and learning in school. He thought well teacher just sat and finish what she's doing whether it's playing with building some you know kids can get very frustrated just give up and go on to the next play activity or whatever oppose or whatever. So he sat down he set his daughter down and he told her that he wanted to color this picture carefully she had lots of time ship twenty minutes to color this picture he wanted her to try to stay in the lines and do a good job. And she just race. Out of the lines done and he said well let me give you another picture you need to carefully in the time listen off. You need to carefully color this picture she went through about four pictures and finally realize well a timer has not gone off yet. I am I will take my time and do this right or he's going to give me another picture to do and when she got to school it was incredible or teachers so I always did was just amazed your daughter said it since she listens and waits and it was something that could be taught children don't just sort of grow up and become self disciplined you control it doesn't happen. We can nurture that so I just want to share those two stories I thought those were incredible stories and we know from the Spirit of Prophecy that self control self government it's very important and this was an outstanding sentence in D.C. our ages that I have been pondering Yes I've been studying this at a very early age Jesus began to act for himself in the formation of his character. That's sad. That's what we want to implant in our children. Of course we need that in our hearts. But God knows we're all learning parents teachers and children. And so I just hope as we go continue to go through the life of Jesus. You will see how his lie implanted the ability to do this and the next area I wanted to look at. Was the world. But before I went to the work area I know I have some Sly's school but it is in working that we learned this discipline. We learned this to. To be useful and helpful and I think that's God's plan. I know that it's God's plan that is working and we'll go there just in about five minutes. But now I want to go back to the Thought we know Jesus did not go to school. By we have schools. So my question is and I think you all know the answer should we not have schools. Yesterday Mr Montana I said we have counsel but if there's six children in a church. We need to provide school for them. Wow I just read there recently and I love. I homeschooled mom from way back and I thought well that's true for those parents who for whatever reasons can't provide their the church needs to provide that. Soul. We do need. Rules. What kind of schools and I don't know Beatrice if you mention this. OK so I'll ask you all. What do we look for in those schools. Yes I have sand and why there was one other for a like. Goal of the Prophet we have that council and I have those. Quotes on here but I see I'm going to be skipping those. That they need to look more and more like the schools of the profits so maybe Beatrice suggested to you go read that chapter of patriarchs and prophet describes what the schools of the prophets did I looked at it all it's a good read just reread it you re read it is so basic and when the schools of the prophets were established it was because there was a great need in Israel when it looked pretty bad this was during a had no have time I guess Samuel stablish it but it's still Israel really needed but parents needed help because they weren't doing their job. So we do need schools and. The reason we need schools I wanted to look at bad. I don't know if beaches covered bad. I was going to look at the schools the way they were and she sews time. Just briefly. Well look at that later let me see if I can pick that. Yeah I think this is the one. It said the mind was crowded with material that was worthless to the learner. This is the description of the rabbi schools while. Thinking about my education and I've been saying to my husband. OK if you had your choice when you were educated you were he was a business and taking business. What would you have skipped. Is everything OK. Kind and he had a whole list and I had all of the what I would have and said when I ever use there. Anyway. The rabbi schools there in Acol. OK Is that better. The mindless crowd the better the mindless crowded with. Material that was worthless. That would not be recognized in the Higher School of the courts of appeal the experience which is obtained through a person except in and of God's Word had no place while absorbed in the round of externals the students found no quiet hours to spend with God. I know when my daughter was headed to college. That was my concern I knew it a local I know quiet time very noisy noisy Dorn's where in the room would you find that told I time. I know one I can a me found you Academy has private rooms for all their students while you know usually. Don't have that kind of money to get home private room. So it's just a real challenge but if you're your youth again being given so much homework and so much reading. How could they find time to spend with God and they did could not hear his voice speaking to the heart in their search after knowledge they turned away from with the source of wisdom. Well that would be the Bible prayer meditation in nature. There are great essentials of the service of God were. My black Ted So they did they didn't even know the purpose of training and the principles of the law were of skewers that which was regarded as so Perrier education was the greatest hindrance to real development under the training of the rabbis the powers of the youth were repressed their minds became Qur'an the role. They definitely were nothing curse and there's a phrase that was described Jesus when he was headed to Jerusalem and when he came back. It said he wanted to ponder the reason for things. Why don't good desire in the heart to know why am I here where my goal was to do with My Lai those are the things Jesus was pondering at the age of twelve. I have a twelve year old grandson. And he was recently baptized a year ago so thankful for that. But you know I don't know what's going on in his mind he's a boy. He's crazy an actor. And I'm sure his Mommy knows he has some deep thoughts. I'm sure it does but I look at the children and I think oh are they really pondering these things they really does sighing and at twelve when Jesus realized his great work. Then he went home right ten more years. Can you imagine waiting to get on with things I think I go distracted here from my notes but I've been pondering this over night and just thinking. We need divine wisdom to know how to plant those to be Cyrus and the children and God has given the simple plan and I hope I can we all can paint the picture and go home and read the councils. There are almost complete. Councils in that website true dot education and click on reference once you get to that website which is pattern my pattern education and use it is click on reference and get that amount of counsel carefully read it through and then God can guide you. OK So that's the school the rabbis and that smile. That's why Jesus did not go and when he arrived in Jerusalem we all know the story of the age of twelve rabbis were just there Mom I'm sure drug don't ban and they're saying wow. You are thought of these things why don't we see it by N.. And yet Jesus was not prowled in any way if he had showed a disdain and a disrespect they wouldn't have heard him for one moment. But because he. Respectful. I wouldn't be hard to be respectful when they didn't get it and you didn't you're only twelve. He was respects full to them. And of course we know God gave them the opportunity that through the youthfulness of us and his respect whole attitude. It would start thoughts in their minds and I know that's what our children can do. If we teach them these things. OK. Jesus' greatest joy. Was when I was alone. I was a very lonely life for cheese sauce. When you read his life. Nobody understood. Nobody his mother didn't understand. Nobody understood even John the Baptist didn't understand. When he grew up when he wasn't communicating with John the Baptist when he began his ministry he discovered even John didn't understand and. He turned to the Lord. And sometimes that's a good thing you know in your loneliness. You are driven to the Lord if you realize where your source of help is greatest happiness and I ask the question. Do your children find happiness in nature. Do they enjoy being outside just playing along or do they always want friends around and excitement and one of my grandchildren a middle child I think that's often characteristic of a move child wants to be alone. And he loves to be alone. And he's the one that said to me one day Grandma feeling to play under. I said no they are never played in dirt you think it's fine. He even took her from my house to his house I guess he thought my daughter was super duper. Carried in a bag. And he plays in dirt and his brother sister two does you know it's just amazing if your children have a land around and they have water and creek and things to grow outside they will learn to enjoy it and be satisfied and then if a parent or teacher comes along and points out those lessons and ask them those questions in nature. It starts to flow over their thoughts and they start to see those things so nature's wonderful and we know that Jesus was dying nature. But he had a reason for studying nature. Do you know what that reason was. Only hands or any. He wanted. Well first of all I want to understand why things worked as they did and understand but he wanted to take these lessons from nature to show what God was slight those things he was learning in the Bible. He was wanting to relate them and we know because he was looking for that that in his ministry. He made his teachings saw Paul. And soul interesting. So we parents need to be praying for that that we will see those lessons in nature so and help our children to know how to do that I think I have a corner on that. Well I don't but. We need to pray for that I've started praying I've gone for a walk and I'm just chucking along I've started praying Lauren how me to just think of some of those lessons and nature and and I'll pop in my hand. And I'll think of that and you keep your mind on the Lord and then you can share those things and the other thing we know is that you suspend much time studying scripture because again when he arrived in Jerusalem. He knew Scripture very well and. I have to confess something publicly here that it's easier to read the spirit of prophecy though in the Bible is that true or false. So I have been a little negligent in that and I have asked the Lord to really help me with there and I know that the Spirit of Prophecy called Six dance away from the Bible and so I have looked up. Every tax that's referred to in the spirit of prophecy and it gets you back into the Bible and I'm amazed at the knowledge that Mrs White had of the Bible and that's how I got back into the Bible but. Jesus didn't have the Spirit of Prophecy. He had the Hebrew writings. And I am just amazed that he could read some say and some of those more difficult Bork's and he would understand. And desist morning I thought you know the one chapter in Isaiah at age twelve Jesus knew very well because it was about him was Isaiah fifty. The three. And if you are a twelve year old and you read Isaiah fifty three. It was pretty high to two who to study fad and look at their and ponder their And he understood. The ability that God can give our children I believe to understand these harder things through. Well recently I memorized Isaiah fifty three and it was life changing. Absolutely life changing do you all know what Isaiah fifty three is. It's the servant song it's it describes he was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for iniquities the chastisement for his peace. Is upon us. And when I read there. In memorising I had to really read and reread really read every time I cry. It's just. It's life changing and I had read before. Mrs White tells us many things to memorize so I've been keeping a record and slowly working my way through these list to memorize but when you man rise something. It's in your mind. You can read read read read read read. Nothing like memorizing. Nothing I was amazed with Vicki and often accused here today yet. Oh yeah that it was just rolling on how. The thing she was saying it in your mind this full phrase this little phrase you'll hear something say I am remember that phrases in that text and I would and plus size. It's the hardest thing to do and devotion time is to memorize. I always resisted every morning. But well worth the thought Ceasar to flow when you memorize start with Isaiah fifty three and that's what Jesus knew he knew Isaiah fifty three at the oil and he know that he knew exactly how many years how many days how many hours until he would be that sacrifice and he joyfully returned home and submitted to his parents and served others. OK here's a promise for the youth the Holy Spirit law to address the you. Let me find it here so I don't get in Acol the Holy Spirit loves to address the youth and to discover to them the treasures and beauties of God's Word the promises spoken by the great teacher. Well captivate the senses in animate the soul was spiritual power that Steve. There will grow in the fruitful mind of familiarity with the vine things that will be as a barricade against temptation. Boy we need. There we need a barricade the words of truth will grow in importance and assume a breadth and fullness of meaning which we have never dreamed that beauty and riches of the word have a transforming employers and mind and character one a promise for our children and then the next one. The appreciation of the Bible grows with it study that's good news. Whichever way the student may turn he will find. Blade even fan wisdom and laws of God. And the angels will draw near our minds will be strength and characters will be elevated refined we shall become like our Savior and as we behold the beautiful and grand in nature. Our affections go out after God while the spirit is all. The soul is invigorated by coming in contact with the Infinite through his works communion with God through prayer develops the mental and moral faculties such had mental This ability to learn my wall that's character development and the spiritual powers strengthen as we call to vague thoughts on spiritual things. We all know that I am sure but again is that business of our lives and all those distractions we just have to prayerfully day daily asked the Lord to help us to see what is distracting and I mean praying a prayer recently. I know we day I want to open my heart to the Lord spirit but I read His word picture that Mrs Y describe. She has all kinds award pictures I love him and she says we can't get the door of our heart open for the rubbish that's in front of it but a picture they are trying to get the door open so I've been doing a study on OK what's this rubbish and found something pride. I know I don't need to learn. It's one thing or get stuck there but other rubbish shoes. Maybe you know our thoughts about others. That's why. And she mentions And so when I asked the Lord don't in the door my heart to him. I just pray OK Lord show me what's in front of the heart. What's in the way today or right now if you're dealing with a child or. For a year in conflict or whatever why is there anything in the way it's a word picture. You knew my try the same exercise and teach your children that you know hard honey you know is there anything on your heart. I keep going away from I know but. I had listened recently to some tapes by the rain family. I don't know if any of you have listened to anything by the rain family they they're with restoration International and their tapes were connecting Oh it was. The connected family so mom and dad are connected. And we're all connected to God we're all connected God. Children parents and in that they mention parents get comfortable and children get comfortable to being an ass. Hasek going with the Lord get comfort help your children to get comfortable with you asking them. You know at the end of the day is there anything on your heart tiny that you know all those kind of bothering you why don't you the whole question. Is everything I you know all. So everything all right between us just that one on one question with just child and making sure that this no hidden. Just a little what's the word resentment there how you handle something. To be assessing and parents to be assessing the hearts of your children and helping them learn to be thinking of what their thoughts and feelings are in their heart and getting them to the Lord. OK try to move on. I do have a question do some of you parents have answers to how to help those little ones have a quiet time with the Lord when mommy's having quiet time if they will wake it because it's often a challenge. Mommy has this nice quiet time and then she hears a noise from the bedroom usual footsteps and I remember well as I've had grandkids overnight and I hear him get out think I know and think all the way to me don't you know anger got out of bed at grandma's they're so excited to see Graeme and I picked one hundred. And so. Oh yes. OK. So it's been suggested for those who aren't here that this mother uses fallals for the youngest you have them play with Faust during their quiet time. Why all so have a picture or from the Bible books like my Bible friends that they're copying to make this picture. What a wonderful idea. There was another idea heard from the rains give full credit to them they had their children. Listen to songs MEMORY VERSE songs. And I would highly recommend a series it's a three year series of memory verse songs they go along with my Bible first lessons I've been using the primary division memorizing of my south and they really did a good job of matching word. As with music sometimes that doesn't always happen with scripture songs and hard to sing it but that was something that you can do with those little ones have them listen to a tape while mommy has quiet time and maybe set a timer when the timer goes off then come man may we can talk about what they heard or you Carrie maybe you had something as a teacher my children. My well of your children. What did you do during your own quiet time when my wife. You're having a quiet time. Right right. So you're saying believe people are those who are in here that it is important to transition that child as they're growing and when they awaken to realize Mommy's having quiet time and now this could be your quiet time and to learn to that learn to pray I would say to pray for Sing when you wake him to pray to Jesus. I know my grandsons share a bedroom I probably your families have children that share bedrooms. And I don't know what my daughter does with BET I was thinking of that you know you have four rooms and five kids. So how do you but give it some thought because you want to plant that thought in the children's mind they want to have their own time with cheese sauce but he'll speak to them. So we've given you two ideas felts and listening to songs and Kerry is saying here to just involve them when they wake and with what you're reading read to them something simple appropriate. OK but it's very important. OK So I mentioned here that. I was trying to understand the thing. The reason for things and the result of this foundation that was laid in his light is what we see when he was in ministry is just he loved the Lord he wanted to bless others and share what he had been learning and experiencing and I hope that you understand that that foundation takes time. Don't rush those early years and get caught up with think you got to take the children to the SEC to be in that activity. I did it. I was part of a homeschooling group. Is so tempting not saying don't be a power you need support but more and more we started pulling bag because we were just racing here and racing there and we always enjoyed the days we just stayed at home. It just takes time to really. To train your children. To learn these habits for a lifetime. So I only have five minutes here. I will look here. OK if I have five minutes I got to get to the work section. Because your children are Mommy's Little Helpers you're a team in this is your work crew. And when I get when my daughter was two I got arthritis my older daughter was five. And so of course I couldn't work as easily ago very tired needed now. A lot and my children started becoming my little helpers which was a blessing. But I recently realized that one of my daughters really had to. With Rees that meant that mommy wasn't in good health and able to to do activities and those fun things and be active and she was stuck. You know caring for the home she never showed that she was a very willing helper in looking back on her life she thanked the Lord that he helped her through there and she is a real caretaker today as a result so we are have perfect bodies we don't have perfect homes we don't have perfect to hold everything and pervy a good movie world so that road to heaven is is has all types of the tours but those detours can become blessings in this work opportunity for your children than it is how you train them to be Little Missionaries. Little Missionaries in the home. We call home missionaries right. Bad is how and I read this here it is study they did a study. They said researchers from Toronto Canada Sydney and Australia studied children who were given daily chores and those who were not. Their research point pointed toward some very interesting conclusions. Children who performed household chores showed more compassion for their siblings. While I'm sure moms would love to hear their And for other family members like poor mother whose burden was so much work and even more interesting was the fact that not all chores wear the same in giving that Rizal their kids who did Family Care chores like setting the table for the family doing the dishes for the family instead of. Making their own bed and picking up their own coals that's not for the family. You know that's kind of for yourself but if you were doing something for the family. There show that showed more concern they showed more concern for the welfare of others then the children who had only self care responsibility such as hanging up their own calls Now isn't that incredible. That's God's plan work together as a team. Now I made the mistake we paid our kids to work for us. Most day. There we wanted to have some money and you can still pay your children to extra chores but there are basic chores. I feel in the home as a teen we are all going to do together and if mommy joins in there and. It's not it can be fun sometimes it's not but the end result is good and I just that's God's plan in the school room. The same thing. It's just as I've been studying this. I feel like a fountain that kind of gushes because you read this and finally I'm getting it. Robin Carey. Fine you say or this makes sense. Recently I was with my. I paid my grandsons to clean my house I just blind and I just weren't getting to it I meant it would go a month. It looked me but I wasn't clean. Pay my grandsons they need some money for offering and so I started paying no one's phone because I knew he was a worker. But one of the other grandsons wanted to help too and I thought. I got to train him. Oh no. Because the other one I could just so I brought the younger one to train. And I have been having a good relationship with the younger one he was the third one. He loved me I was a threat. When I was around him mommy is around. He's saying you know this lady is so threat to me here I don't know why it worked that way maybe it happens and I hadn't a good relationship with him and I felt bad. Do you know the first week I were with bad grandson. When we got all done working together. We both felt like hugging each other I couldn't move it wasn't a forced tug for my grandson usually Let's go out. Ha grandma. And I just said. They're playing. And just think credible. It's never been the same with my grandson and I praise the Lord for that. So I go for that five minutes. OK. Let's head to her. Father we want to remember these things and it takes courage to go against the current But you did that your son did that. And he did it we know that you'll give us power to do it that's what we want to do is just to do what your will is for the education of our war. So we can we can be with these things this media was brought. Do you buy audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse. If you would like to listen to more servant leader Visit W W W audio verse or.

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