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4. Leading Significantly

Janice Watson

Conference

Recorded

  • December 29, 2016
    4:00 PM
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This message was presented at the G Y C twenty sixteen conference has been heard in Houston Texas for other resources like this business on line at W T Y C. Where. Welcome back. Welcome to those of you who are here for the first time in the session we have been together now what is this our fourth question for many of you and we have addressed a number of issues that in working with young people and young women particularly have emerged as being important significant or of interest as women try to live godly lives as they try to be prepared for. The end of time in the judgment. Because we are at that point now where time has progressed in such a way that there's not a whole lot of time left. There's not a lot of time left in. The theme for this conference is so important because. If we don't. Now remember the Creator. If we don't now make the choices you having trouble hearing me. All right. And I don't know if we can get someone to increase the mike. So how about I just talk more loudly and when I forget that I'm talking and I get soft again then somebody let me know and will yell some more. And hopefully they'll be a voice tomorrow but. God has been so good. Anyway so far. I'm just in awe of what he's. So far. Right. Shall we pray. Let's begin and get going. I know that you're cold. I'm praying that you feel warmer and if it gets I'm bearable. We'll do something else. All right. But for now. Father. We love you. And you love us. And you speak to us particularly as women. Not because we're more than you but just because we are and you made us the way that we are. So we come to you as your daughters one more time. Asking Lord that you would bless us. Asking Lord that you continue to feed us. Because how can we grow if we are not fed. And Lord we seek not to be fed by any other but you. So speak to us speak through me and Lord as you speak to us. May we be changed and we give you all the honor. And all the glory in advance for the work that you are doing going to do and have done in our lives we thank you. And we love you a man. When. I was first invited to speak about women's issues because believe me this was not one of those things on my heart. They asked me to come and speak about the Proverbs thirty one woman. And I thought to myself at the time. You picked the wrong woman. And now. Proverbs thirty one. She cooks it she solves it she takes care of her husband and her children come up and call a blessing and her husband calls a blessing and she runs a side business and she done all these wonderful things and in my. Ahead she also had long hair. You know and nice clothes and a really cute shape because she's the Proverbs thirty one woman. I went and in preparing for that I hit a subject. That I honestly had never really dealt with before I don't know why just hand dealt with before. And it turned out to be a subject that not only hit me but hit a lot of other women as well. And it turned out to be one of those things where people say are we going to talk about. And so yes we're going to talk about the S. word. And we're going to talk about submission. Right. Not that as were we did that in the last session where were you. All right. Titus two going back to Titus where in Titus a lot today. Titus two because you know Titus two is the other passage as the Proverbs thirty one and then there's Titus two. And so on. When we go. And we look at Titus two. In Chapters four and five. I mean in verses four and five. They can train the younger women to love their husbands and children to be self-control than pure. To be busy at home to be kind and in some versions to be subject to their husbands in some versions to be obedient to their husbands in some versions to submit to their husbands. So those beautiful older women train the younger women to submit all right. First Peter three. Verses one and two. In first. Three. In verses one and one and two. Paul will talk about something very similar in some versions it says likewise you wives be in subjects into your own husbands that if any of the not the word They also may without the word be one by the conversation of the wives. In other versions it says wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands. So that I mean if any of them do not believe. They may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. And so women came to me and said. What does that mean that we need to be submissive. That we need to be submissive to our husbands. And I was like let me go study. If I am here. Partially. Because the idea of submission. Does not come naturally to me. My personality. As you probably have figured out by the now. Somehow does not naturally to me in quiet for I. And a submissive to mean or. Yes. And in my head and in the heads of many women. That's what it really meant. That somehow we needed to be saying Yes sir. Yes sir. To men. And I thought initially. That perhaps this was a small groups of women who struggled with an idea that was not widespread. But if you get onto the Internet. Nowadays. And you look up submission. Women submit. You will open. An incredible Who knew. Copia of different opinions different sermons different blogs so forth and so on talking about what that means and what people ought to do and what it ought to look like. There are even in all of that maelstrom the whole movement. Outside of Christianity at least most of it is outside of Christianity and some of you are familiar with it. Where women are identifying themselves as submissives. And involved in relationships in which they self identify not within Christian tradition as submissives and live in relationships that in many cases are described as I am a submissive and he tells me what to wear. He tells me how to dress. He tells me. In fact there are some cases in which I don't work. I stay at home when he comes home. I kneel down and say Yes sir. And this is not within particular Christian traditions and there are indeed within some of that some. Overtones that are really problematic from a sexual perspective. So on and so forth. So the issue of submission is not a simple one. And it's not one that only applies to women in the church. And so when the Bible says. That a woman ought to be submissive to her husband and we're going to come back to that phrase in a minute. What are we talking about. Let's look at some perhaps opposites. Go with me to Proverbs. Proverbs seven. And let's look at eleven and verses eleven and twelve in Proverbs. So we're looking in Proverbs seven. Verses eleven and twelve. And proverbs you know has the wise women. And the foolish women and wisdom. And he and the foolish man and the foolish man in the twilight in the black and dark of night in verse ten. Behold there met him a woman with the attire of a hollers and subtle of heart and she is loud and stubborn and her feet abide not in her house now is she with out now in the streets and lie in wait at every corner. And so when in proverbs he talks about the foolish woman. The foolish woman he says is out there and she is loud and boisterous and contentious and if you look at Proverbs nine in verse thirteen. You will see another picture. Of the foolish woman. It says a foolish woman is clamorous she is simple and now with nothing for she said it at the door for house on a seat in the high places of the city and cost of the passion passengers who go right in their ways. In some other versions says she is allowed in. She is under supply and and without knowledge. And there seem to be these visual images that contrast it. This last hour boisterous clamorous quarrelsome woman. On the one hand and the submissive woman on the other. And so people have interpreted that to mean. That what you really need is to be very very quiet. I listened to a pastor from a different. Persuasion on the internet who said I've told my sons. That when they marry they need to marry a woman who does not have a loud voice. And he was serious. He was not joking. And he said because our woman with a loud voice is a woman who doesn't know how to be submissive. Is that was Scripture is talking about is that word Scripture me. Because I can tell you. There are some women with quite voices. Who are interesting. I live in the south. And one of the things that I've learned in the south is you can do great damage sweetly and quietly and so somebody with the sweetest look on their face and the quietest voice and when I first came in. People say bless your heart and I thought it was a complement other Thank you and I have learned that in Alabama. Bless your heart is not always a complement. But it's almost always said very very sweet only. So when we're talking about submission. We're talking about something different than. Simply a quiet voice. Now I understand that when the boy Bible talks about a gentle and quiet spirit. That's not the same thing as a quiet voice right. Because you can have a quiet voice and not have a gentle and quiet spirit. And you can have a gentle and quiet spirit and at times need to speak out loud. So we're not talking about the gentle and quiet spirit. We're talking about the role of a woman in relationship to her husband and let me know here. That the Scripture specifically for women says Why. Submit to your husband. It does not say woman submit to men. OK. Go back and relive for yourself. However those single people who just got happy as we don't have to submit West Bengal you're a. Let me suggest you. Well let me have you really efficient five. Twenty one now this is for everybody but is particularly for the single women. The Bible doesn't make it particularly for you but I am for this moment because I saw your faces. OK and that side of relief. It really doesn't mean me. I was there for a minute as well. You know the word has a way of taking us. Because in efficient five verse twenty two. It says Wives submit to your husbands. But in iffy Asians five verse twenty one. What does it say. For all of the child. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So we're not off the hook. Because we're supposed to submit to each other. The Bible says that the body of Christ needs to submit to each other. So what does it mean. Does that mean that I give away my power. Does that I mean does that mean that I give away my choice. Does that mean that. I'm a submissive person solve their for anybody else can direct me and tell me where to go and how to do it. Yes. Now. So as I mean let me suggest. That before we submit to each other. Before we submit to husbands. We are call to submit to God. Our first call is submission to God. And what's the mission suggests is that I understand that I yield to you. Now the interesting thing about submission is we often think of it having power over when you submit to someone is because we just gave them power over us domination over us this God I mean I know one of the things that makes him God as opposed to the devil is that he does not dominate He gives us a choice. And so one of the first things about submission. When the Bible calls us to submission is submission is voluntary. It's something that we do to the one that we submit to. It's not something that they do to us. Are you hearing me. Submission is voluntary and it was radical. In the day. That Paul was talking about it when Paul talks to women and he says submit to your husbands when he talks to slaves and he says submit to your masters. He was saying something revolutionary because the understanding of the time was that slaves had no choice. Women had no choice. You were controlled by the other. And Paul says way. You're a woman. And you have a choice. To submit you understand that choosing to submit is very different from having someone forcing you to submit. As opposed as if you're a slave. Yes. You can have your master. Lord it over you or you can make a choice and say I submit to this authority. I submit. If you're a woman you could choose to submit. And that's church members. You could choose to submit to each other. Voluntarily or have been in a board meeting. A business meeting. What would it look like. If we chose voluntary submission. So sometimes you have to take it from this wonderful idea here and bring it to the ground. Because what the Bible says is you know one choose to submit to each other. You can shew. To say I yield I give you that right. I can choose to say I am not stand they are. My wife's And believe me have been some meetings where the Saints were standing on their rights and kept waiting for someone to submit. And I'll be honest sometimes that someone was not me. And the Lord. Confronted me with that. What would it be like Janice if even when you think you are right. Even when you know quote unquote that they're wrong. Even when. You believe that this is the way to go. You chose to yield. What do you think I'm serious about this. What do you think would happen in a board meeting or a business meeting. If people chose to yield. What do you think some of the consequences would be there. Be sure. What else we were afraid. Definitely. Might we not hear each other better because one of the things about William Sachs adamantly pushing my perspective. I'm afeared not hearing. And as we each get deeper into our room frenched positions. Not only can we not hear but we cannot understand. And so God knew something about interpersonal relationships God's an incredible communication theorist. And he understood that if you want communities to work. People have to learn to yield and people have to learn to say OK maybe we could do it that way. OK you feel strongly about that. OK we can do that. Or you know well I'm happy to let go of this. So that we can do that when you submit to God it's a yield. So a different kind of yield. I didn't really think that one would have trouble submitting to God I mean after all he's God He knows everything he can do everything. So isn't it obvious that I will submit as I've been working with this passage. And living with it in my life I'm realizing that submission to God is not always as easy as we think. Some of you perhaps have some areas where submission is really easy. Yes Lord definitely world. Immediately Lord I will Lord. And then there are other areas that tell work quite as well. I discovered an interesting thing that I really did not know. My mother is going through some health issues and there were things that it was easy for me to give up for me. But it's not as easy to give up when it has to do for her and so I go to the hospital loaded for bear. Because I'm here to make sure that she's OK and I'm here insist that she gets what she needs and I'm here and I'm studying and it says submit yields to people in authority and I have a man. Who's going to take care of her. How will it be OK. What happens if submission is about trust submission. Is about trust in order to really be able to submit to God I have to trust that years and he will and he does. Let me push you just a little bit you know part of my job here is to allow the word. To make you a little uncomfortable. Think about the areas in your life where you submit easily to God Most of us have them. Now I may ask you another question what are the areas of your life where you struggle to say Yes Lord. Definitely Lord immediately Lord. Because you know the late obedience is this obedience submit. First to God because He can only be Lord as we submit. I may have mentioned this before. There is a quote from that camera show where he says. You can say no and you can say Lord. But you can't say no lord. Because if you say no. He's no longer Lord. Submission to God means that it's always YES LORD and I use Lord specifically because Lord is one of those terms that shows us best. That dichotomy that sense of us. In subjection in submission to God God wants our voluntary submission. He doesn't want to fair. Well the world. I will submit to you because if I don't. And I thought I you once a submission comes out of love respect and trust. I love you. I believe you and I believe that you love me and I believe that you love me sufficiently that I can trust you and so yes Lord immediately. There was a women's conference where one of the things that they did was to give every woman a white handkerchief. That had already written. Yes Lord. And the idea was I surrender. Yes I thought it was an incredibly great idea and had the money might have brought you some. When we've learned to wave the white flag when we've learned to surrender to God. Then the concept of surrendering to each other. Becomes easier. Because if I can trust God and I know you're in charge in this board meeting then maybe I don't have to push so hard when we don't have to fight so much. Maybe we will let you do what it is that you do as God. The issue of submission in America is a major issue partially because of the challenges that women have faced. Generationally in the Bible. Where is the first place that the idea of submission in a marital relationship a curse. Even in Genesis what happens in Genesis. There's Adam there's Eve they're sane and following this then God says what about their relationship do you remember very. Your desire will be to your husband. He will be over you. And when God said that. Was he cursing people was the intent that women should suffer for the rest of history don't know the intent was not. That woman would be subjugated. Abused. Battered mistreated ignored that was not God's intent and when you see how God treats women in Scripture you know that he never treats women that way. So there are certain things that submission is not. There are some things that submission will not be in this context for example submission is not an excuse for lording over submission is not a way to turn around and say to another human being I put you in the place of God. And if I turn to another human being. Husband or not and give them complete power over me. We have now just put that person in the place of God Eve was still responsible to God for her choices if we're still responsible to God for her relationship with him. That was. Not outside of and separate from. And I'm making sense doesn't match what you know in Scripture. And so in Genesis when we see that division. It was God's understanding. That even within that relationship. Adam and Eve love each other. Operate together and are in a triangle with God that was always the intent and that was the way that it was going to go but you know well we are so good at distorting what God intends to do I want to talk about abuse for a moment. Because in the Christian community. We have often suggested. That abuse is OK in marital relationships. Because this is part of submission. And I actually watched a video recently in which the pastor said and it was not an advantage pastor press card. But the pastor said. If your husband hits you with Bond in submission and I listen very carefully because I wanted to see what that meant. I mean obviously if he hits you don't hit him back and maybe that was all he was saying and I'm like OK I'm OK with that you know restless start world war going on here. And he said well because you are in submission to your husband. And he suggested that you might wait a day or so. And then perhaps call the charge and I believe that the church has a role to play in abusive situations we are the Body of Christ and part of what the body of Christ does is to add fold and encourage and protect and nurture all of the body. That's why we're all put in community. But this idea that this was OK at some level under a level of submission is unacceptable. It is not what Scripture tells us about abuse of power somebody turned to Jeremiah twenty three verse two. Jeremiah twenty three verse two. Twenty three. Where God says therefore verse that the Lord God of Israel against the passes that feed my people you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not visited them. Behold I will visit upon you the evil of your doings. Here are people in authority and God says I will not tolerate your abuse of your authority. I will not tolerate. Your abuse of those under you and if you go to easy kill thirty four you're going to see something similar. If we go to Zechariah. We're going to see something similar where God basically says to people in authority. It is not OK for you to abuse misuse or mistreat. Those that you have or thirty. Over. So in no way can we imagine that God says it's OK within the relationship that mirrors. My relationship with the church for there to be real. It's just not acceptable and so one of the things that submission is not is acceptance of abuse. It is neither unthinking obedience submission is not I give you my head and my will. Because the Bible says Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your mind. How can I love the Lord my God with all my mind if I've given my mind to someone else no matter who that someone else is. That's why we say to people for example Hypnosis is not Godly. Because it gives control of our minds to someone else. So it's not I'm thinking of deviance it's not control of our mind to someone else. So what is it in a marriage. What submission respect yielding OK yes we can do that we can go that way. So there's that mean that I have no opinion that I don't share my opinion and the man that Scripture does not lead us there does not guide us there. What it does suggest is and there are some very interesting discussions online about this what it does suggest is that someone has to lead and so there are all these things online about. Well you know. If what it really means is. If you have a decision to make. And that decision. You can't come to what agreement. Someone's got to break the tie and so you yield. There are a married people in the room. Now in reality there are couple things One is how often do you really get to a decision where you can't figure it out where you have to break a tie. Number one. And number two what happens when you have people who love each other who are looking for each other's good who are trying for each other. And you've got someone with the Bible say that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church and I have a friend who says and you know what Christ did for the church he died for the church so husbands you have your wives enough to die for them. Same still may. If somebody loves me enough to die for me the likelihood is that he might want to hear my point of view on something from time to time. And I'm not advocating let's be clear I'm not advocating that we suggest our husbands commit suicide for a very other bizarre thing or. What I'm going to say something about submission. The more that I know God the easier it is the men to him. The more that we journey the easier it is for me to say Yes Lord immediately Lord because I have a relational history with him and so on these things that I don't know I can trust him based on the things that I know this is why I says we have nothing. Into fair for the future unless. We forget the way that the Lord has led us in the past when you're thinking about a husband. To whom scripture says you give the mission. You might want to choose that one carefully. You might want to think carefully about a relationship that bills sufficient trust sufficient respect some fission understanding sufficient communication over time so that when you say yes there. That yes there. Comes out of a position of true voluntary submission. You have seen those people who are some couples every now and then and they are the ones that yes they are yes dear teeth gritted faces try. That we don't call that voluntary submission. The voluntary is extremely important in our thinking about it. So how do we place that concept of submission with the concept of leadership. The women lead. Should women lead. And I'm going to make a couple have it right now that I'm not going to talk about women's ordination. When I first started speaking for the Lord back late seventy's early eighty's. That was a really big issue as a part of when that really started to grow when you have been a church. And I've done a lot of studying and thinking about it and so forth and so on and I was getting ready to go somewhere to speak and basically as I was praying about it and saying that's not your issue that's not your thing to talk about that's I'm sad. When you do other things. I have people who are handling dealing with that but that's not what I'm giving you to do. And I have tried to be. Faithful to that call and faithful to that distinction. And so that's not an issue I discuss publicly but leadership. Is not about position. Leadership is not about power. What makes a leader. The ability to have somebody follow. That's a leader the ability to have others follow. And in a broader sense the ability often to set a vision for the person to follow. Are you a leader. Not a rhetorical question. Are you a leader. Every woman I know is a leader. Why. Whether you choose it or not someone is following you. And that's the only thing you hear me say in the session. You are a leader. Somebody is watching you and following you as a twelve year old sitting in church watching Dr Norell James get up and do things for education day and so forth. She had no idea that there was a twelve year old sitting there thinking she's a doctor. One day Lord. One day she didn't know and when I walk across the stage and got my the farmer and them herded me and over the summer. I remember thinking. You know. Noel James. Well twenty some years later marry somebody is watching you. Someone is following you. Someone is being influenced by you. And Titus says all the women be intentional about influencing younger women. That's what your job is you are here to we. When I talk to young women who often think they can wait for leadership. Let me suggest to you in today's society. You can't wait. You are leading now. So the question is not if you will lead. It is how you will lead. Be careful who you follow. Because the people following you are also following them. So if you are not following Christ. Where are the people who are following you going. If you are not modeling Christ. Who are the people who see you as their model following. When you lead when you live when you talk when you act whatever you do guaranteed somebody is following you. There is an African proverb that says men are the head and women are the neck that turned the head when we actually said our own tribe. The influence that we have on the men in our lives. And I don't mean. Only our husbands and boyfriends and the men in our lives our brothers our fathers our cousins the young men at church the influence that we have on the men in our lives is much greater than we ever imagine. The men in our lives. Look to us for many things. They look to us to see themselves reflected to tell them a little bit about who they are and what value they have. And one of the questions is interesting to me is the Ben. In my life. The man in your life. What is the way that we respond to them telling them about who they are and what they're worth because we are affected are we not by the people in our circles. By the way the look at that they look at us and treat us and so forth. So part of your leadership influence. Has to do with how you relate to the men in your lives. They may not be men that you are giving direction to but they are making choices often based on how we see them. And how we treat them so that makes sense to you Do you see that and that the power that we have is much more than we think. And so all the women in Titus are instructed to teach younger woman have to relate to their husbands how to relate to their children because that power is understood. There's an interesting passage. In Acts thirteen. Let's go to Acts thirteen. And we'll look at sixteen to forty and we won't read all of it but it's a passage that I don't really. Looking at until recently in that way. And it's a story that has to do with. Paul and they're traveling. And they go through their missions or missionary journeys and they are we make sure that we're in the right place. I'm on the wrong page one hundred at this is in the sun. Where looking at X. thirteen. OK And when we go to verses. Let's go to you. Sixteen and I'm not hearing the story where I need it but third verse fifty. I'll take I'll tell you the story and we'll go down to verse fifty they're traveling and there are issues with the Jews as they're often are when Paul and Barnabas are traveling and so after they've talked and spoken. And in verse forty eight the Gentiles hear it and they're glad and they glorify the word of the Lord and the word of the Lord is published throughout all the region. So what they went there to do is being accomplished and being accomplished well. But look at verse fifty. But the Jews stirred up the devout and honorable women and the chief men of the city and raise persecution against Paul and Barnabas and expel them out of their coasts. I find that an interesting sentence. Because it doesn't say they went to the pre if they went to the male leadership. First they went to the woman. And they went to the devout. And all robo woman and said basically you know we got to get them out of here. They've got to go. And the woman. And the chief men of the city were the ones that raised the persecution. And they expelled them out of their coasts. Don't underestimate our power. Don't underestimate our power for good. But don't underestimate our power to be used in destructive ways in ways that the devil would want to use us. These were women who the Bible says are devout and honorable what happened I would love to know what they said to them they got them to run Paul in Barnabas out of their area. Leadership is the ability to influence. Those women influenced. Let me suggest that somewhere they start hearing. What God was saying somewhere they heard a different voice and instead of saying yes Lord. They went. Another way. Now it's our choices. What are you going to do with your voluntary submission Who are you going to volunteer that submission to and what are you going to do with your leadership the power of the women gathered at this conference is amazing. It's amazing what could God do if every one of us. Said Yes Lord and then proceeded to lead in the square where he put us. Maybe a little ship with children. Maybe our leadership is in our home. Maybe our leadership is influence on our job. Some of us will have positions of authority but of a lot of us won't. I don't know your sphere of influence. I don't know where your call to lead. Do you if you know where you're called to lead. Then you know that God has placed in your hand. An incredible here. It's an incredible power. If you don't know yet. Then pray for that ask him to be very clear with you and be sensitive to those people coming behind you. The young women the children and the men around you that God has allowed you to touch in positive ways and understand the touch that I mean in this context and Kara she said that I governed that you should. I say that you're already touching them by your lives by your lives. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands off other people's present husbands and future husbands you healthy yourself. And I say that a little bit in jest and a lot in seriousness. We have impact. We have power. And all of it needs to be submitted to God your hands. Don't go anywhere that the Lord didn't send them. Seriously or playfully you. Want to pray together about what God is going to do through your leadership. About the plan that he has in store for you. We started the day talking about identity. Your plan for. He has a purpose for you. He has chosen you for that purpose and preserved you to do that. And so G Y C is partially about energizing and releasing you to do what is called you to do. That's why you're here. If you were here just gather information. You know and be different but you don't come to gather information. You came to hear the word from the Lord to get your marching orders for the next thing that he's trying to do to you. Let me pray with and over you. As you prepare for that. Let's pray. Lord in this room. Is an incredible group of women. In this room or. Is an incredible collection of giftedness each woman in this room has a gift. And multiple gifts that you have given to her. Each woman in this room has a power to influence and change lives in dramatic ways as we follow you. Lord it's marvelous and it's scary because what happens or if we lose our way. What happens if we somehow stop following the. You what about those you've given to us to influence what about those you've given to us to nurture and mentor and put around us who even just watching us might get to see and follow you. So we come asking for something that we know already that you want to give we ask Lord that you would take each of us. Re consecrate us Lord take us change us cleanse us and then Lord use us. In the way that you see fit. And in the process Lord as you change and shape us help us to be submissive. Make us willing word to be made willing teach us how to say in a voice of joy and anticipation. Yes Lord immediately Lord and then Lord as we follow you. And as we accomplish what you set out for us to do we know that it's only you and it's all of you. So we give you all the honor and all the glory and we look forward Lord to what you got in and through each woman in this room. Thank you. We just thank you. And we love this message was presented at the G Y C twenty sixteen conference on has been heard in Houston Texas. I see a supporting ministry at the Seventh Day Adventist Church seeks to inspire young people to be five zero based Christ centered and so winning Christians for other resources like this visit us online. At W.W.W. the Web dot.

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