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Surprised by Love

Dee Casper
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Dee Casper

Evangelism Director for UnScene Media Group

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Recorded

  • February 4, 2017
    11:30 AM
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Father thank You for this privilege to come into your presence just now I think you for the blood of Jesus and I asked that it would cover me that you would fill me with your Holy Spirit and that this story would be what you want it to be and I'm not capable of doing this justice and I'm not capable of structuring this is what I feel that the people would most benefit from Seoul be leaning upon you. Heavily tonight. We thank you for what you're going to do and for the fact that if you can redeem a broken life then you can take a broken messenger and make sense out of it for these people so I ask these things now and thank you. That we receive them by faith in Jesus name. Amen. What would a testimony be without cute baby pictures so there's one of them that should be thing you know one Z. is me. Is it possible that all they need the lights for the video aspect. I don't want to kill your resolution here. Yeah that's actually not me on the left that's actually my dad and that is me and the stuffed animal to the right of me is called proof. It was actually called a puff a lump but I was able to pronounce that so I called him proof who and he may or may not have been my best friend all the way until like seventh grade I won't confirm nor deny this is four generations of Casper men. This is me. This is my granddad bill that's my dad and that is Gigi my great grandfather. Interestingly enough three of us are actually named Donald in that picture and one of them is named William which is how I get my name. Donald William Casper Jr And yeah I'm called De because there were four Donal's in my family when I was born so we had to come up with something to alleviate confusion so that's that's that's I mean now. Actually before I do that I'd like to read a text to kind of give some framework for my story. This is Isaiah Chapter sixty five. Isaiah Chapter sixty five. Verses one and two. Isaiah Chapter sixty five verses one and two. I was sought by those who did not ask for me I was found by those who did not seek me I said Here I am here I am to a nation that was not called by my name. I have stretched out my hands all day long to a billion people who walk in a way that is not good. According to their own thoughts. I was not looking for Jesus. I was not. But I think God for the fact that he came looking for me a man and my story is based upon that it's also very similar to the story of never can as Or that it took basically seven years and three tries in a humiliating experience to put never can. As in a point where he could be fully God's I had a very similar situation for myself. It says in Daniel four twenty six and as much as they gave the command to leave the stump and roots of the tree your kingdom should be assured to you after you come to know that heaven rules and that works for him. And then a verse thirty six says at that same time my reason returned to me and for the glory of my kingdom my honor and splendor returned to me my councillors and Nobles resorted to me and I was restored to my kingdom an excellent Majesty was added to me. Now I never can as are praise and extol and honor the king of heaven. All of whose works are truth in his ways of justice and those who walk in pride he is able to put down and that is very very much my story and. I'll do my best to walk through that my life before Jesus got a hold of me it was a lot of these things here like to see your sailor I was a bully believe it or not I was a very big and thankfully no one like Luis was upset with me and retaliated because I could have been beat up bad as a kid I was really really nasty. Had really awful. Media choices is a liar was a thief always stealing by the age of five and lying perpetually at the age of five objectifying women it was disrespectful and arrogant to authorities. I hated the school with a C. The hatred. I only had two priorities in high school my girlfriend and drumline. And I was a nominal Christian at best. This is what my life basically was I grew up in a home. My parents got divorced. I was around three or four I think my mom had been married once before and had a child with that man they got divorced the day I got custody they meant to move to Florida. My mom remarried a room and married my dad. They had me I was actually at the wedding in my mama's belly I don't remember much I was kind of in my own bubble but that was that was my experience I was there and after that I my mom and dad eventually got divorced my dad is taking care of my great grandfather who had also timers and it takes a lot out of you and being newlyweds with a small child in that environment was just too much for mom and she had some of the battles she was facing to she her mother rejected her basically they got divorced her parents did and mom basically left her mom basically left one another to do with her to new meaning for her. My grandfather remarried in this woman and my grandfather adopted my mother says she would be the legal mother. But she never really treated mom as if she were her daughter so mom has been rejected by two moms in her life was filled with instability trying to find fulfillment in relationships that can only be found in Christ and she didn't learn that lesson early on her parents were bad religion the through and through in church eight days a week. Everyone in the church loved them but their kids really struggle with them and that was kind of her battle and so Jesus wasn't fully really in the picture for her and until she makes Jesus her husband she's not going to have the answer. She's looking for but I'm happy to tell you did it. Well first of all she's actually been married and divorced seven times. That's actually more than the wolf. At the well and I praise God for the fact that I now have a mother in Christ at the age of twenty eight. My mom and I really to come back together to have reconciliation. We had time together but for me to tell her that the things I was exposed to a very young age because of the upbringing that dad got custody but whenever I'd had visitations with her all kinds of chaos. You know madness and stuff and says she think fully dad got custody she would tell you the same. But I had a sit down conversation with her when I was twenty years old and told her that these are the things I've struggled with of my life because of the interactions I had around you and I want you to know that I forgive you and it was amazing. There was reconciliation we cried together we prayed together and in that moment I gained a mother in Christ and I praise God for the fact that the gospel is true. Amen. It's really really true. Growing up Dad had custody. He was always someone who I never doubted loved me who wanted the best for me he was a single father he married again once just because he thought my son these a woman in the house but when you married just for those reasons. It doesn't always work out too well. She was the nicest person one of her sons was. I'll just say he was that nice. Because I need to be nice and we didn't get along well at all eventually they got divorced and dad works and did the best he could but I had a lot of time alone and because of the divorce. The guy my mom married after my dad beat her up really bad and I came in my grandfather my dad dropped me off at her place within a day or two after that happened she's purple she's blue shoes swollen. There's a look at the person that I know and. My grandfather wasn't stupid he went home and called the cops they threw this guy in prison picked me up on my back to my grandparents' house but seeing that and the divorce were two things. It is really messed me up as a kid really messed me up. I was wild. You couldn't contain me they put me on Ritalin to try to calm me down I sharpen my pencil every ten seconds in the school and I just didn't feel safe. Right. I was lying. I wanted to be in control. So I was lying and I was stealing just to feel some sense of control because I felt unsafe because I would have done. Not to me personally but right near me. And so I was doing I was acting out in all kinds of ways because I just wanted to be in control because of what I had seen and gone through Does that make sense. It's not a good thing. I don't recommend it. Obviously but these are natural side effects to being in traumatic situations. So my dad. We didn't go to church he one of the best for me was not opposed to church but we just didn't go so I didn't really have a strong religious upbringing I didn't fully know all the Bible stories but I believe in God My grandparents bring me when I was with them now is basically the way that it worked. I get into junior high and high school. I'm just a mess an absolute mess of a kid thinks I didn't get into drugs or alcohol I didn't want to disappoint my dad I just knew I'd get busted but everything else I did it was stealing swearing doing all kinds of bad stuff but that I'd I Stuart was able to steer clear of. When I get into high school my two priorities again are drop mine in my high school I just want to be famous as a musician. That's what my burden was my instructors had done that. That's what I wanted that was my dream to be a professional musician and my girlfriend that's all that matters it's all reason I went to high school. Apart from the fact that you know it's illegal. If you don't and a proto woman if I didn't but apart from that that's one thing that kind of kept me sane in the confines of Marion High School. And we knew that I was more into her than she was into me. But you like the attention she was getting out of me and so I was expecting a whole lot of energy but not getting as much in return and it was difficult. But it was what it was eventually there was actually a span when my girlfriend told me that she had to break up with me because I wasn't a Christian and I remember thinking to myself. I've never heard anyone say that in a wife like I believe in God. What does she mean by that. So I did what any desperate man would do. I started swearing less and went to church because I don't want to lose the girl and that obviously doesn't work too well for eternity sake but it started a process and then from there I I tried out for a drum and bugle corps professional one this bass headed to Butte Iowa for two years didn't make it and eventually made it the third year I did marching Salukis for one semester I never actually went to college and didn't even sign up for the class I don't even know how I did that to be honest with you but I did. But this is when things started to change in two thousand and four. This guy right here is my dad good lookin feller. I in the in the fall of two thousand and four something began to change. Unbeknownst to me because I was a mess in high school I was only thinking about myself. My dad found Jesus now he was not an immoral person it was doing foolish things but. He realized when nine eleven happened that he needed more. That he desperately needed more and he began watching Charles Stanley and other T.V. ministries. I'm totally clueless that is found in God I'm totally clueless and in two thousand and four in the summer two thousand and four I described to a high school I do marching Saluki S. and then in August. I'm starting to actually have you know the football games and other stuff and dad working Carbondale assigned was set so he worked in the kiosk there in the mall and he just wanted to have time with me and something started to change that wasn't dead didn't want time with me before but my love languages are quality time and physical touch. And my dad started telling me he loved before he started more he started hugging me more he started when he does have time with me just because more so I was working in a retail I didn't go to high school so I was working retail to finish line in the Marion mall and at Target and get off work and go to rehearsal in Carbondale and that I'd just come by would sit down and have a beer and just talk a little bit next to his his kiosk there and this did more for me than anything because I don't really have a mom in the picture in a real mom since I feel like more of a parent to her than she was to me I really just felt that she was using me to feel normal. I didn't really feel like I was. Having maternal love in the sense that I needed. So those two things I desperately want quality time and physical touch a lot of those are to come through the mother but you don't have that we just starved. And so to receive what really was happening was that God was living in my dad's heart and loving me through him and me coming into contact with the true love of God did something for me that nothing else would have. And I realize that what he had I wanted nothing of someone telling me that I'm a mess and get my life together was not going to fix my problem. It was a going to do it. Boot camp military those things were not going to fix me it was only this and only this as a wild mule of a kid that's what transformed my life. So this began a process for me of realizing that I myself needed God and desperately. So I started watching T.V. ministries and other stuff too but the problem is I get a contract for this drum and bugle corps. Within two or three months of this in December I think of two thousand and four I get the first cancer in January two thousand and five I get offered a contract to be a member of this world class drum and bugle corps and that's the only can't that dad went with me to and he knew immediately that something's not going to be good if he does this. But this is my dream and I'm just starting to accept God that doesn't when I to handle this too. I just take it from him so he gave me strong. Kelson said Buddy I don't know about this it just trying to make it clear to me Are you sure that this is what you should be doing but when your whole life worth. Is based upon doing this someone telling you No just is not palatable. So the call of God is going one direction but my dreams are going another direction and they've now come to an intersection I have a choice. I need to make. And I didn't like being put in a box like this and I made the wrong choice that didn't stop me from doing it and I made the wrong choice and I accepted a contract the first year I marched I was this is the Foxboro Massachusetts the Patriots stadium D.C.I. finals drum corps national final. They are located all around the country. Depending on the years of the first year marches in the Patriots stadium. The second year I marched it was at the University of Wisconsin the Badger stadium and the third year that Mars. It was in Pasadena at the Rose Bowl. It changes every year. Now it's actually in Indianapolis every year at the cold stadium but we would have regional competitions and this is during the summer and you travel around the country and compete against each other. It's very much like Major League Baseball or the N.B.A. There's teams based all over the country and it's musicians from all over the world competing each corps for one hundred thirty five spots. So each corps has people from all over the world shooting for one hundred thirty five spots on that particular team if you will. I got a snare drum position the way the I was the eighth person I was the weakest person the sterilizer because I worked so hard and they saw that I would take this seriously. They gave me a chance and I did improve while I was there. So this is a young place the launch of music ever ties the magazines on the second one from the left. And this is what my involvement looks like that's all I wanted in life. So I'm traveling around the country have a great suntan because you hurt for thirteen hours a day out in the sun and I'm doing what I wanted to do at a high professional level but I didn't really find my worth in that relationship in high school and I was really funny my worth in this either. Even though I was competing in a high level was getting accolades. I wasn't finding what I was looking for I was trying to find my worth in something that can't provide my words then fully figured that out yet. But Dad was really worried that when I got on that bus to leave that summer that he had lost his son he just knew that he had lost a son he's just coming around and I've lost and dad was really heartbroken by this. But he's continuing to watch television ministry he's growing his relationship with God and keeps investing in me and keep supporting me in any way that he can to show me that he loves me so you come to different shows you surprise me and drove out to Virginia to see me once I think in a couple of the things. That was the second year that emerged. I get back from that first summer and dad comes and sits me down and he wants to talk to me in his room. And in tears he confesses to me that he had failed me as a father spiritually and I remember thinking to myself that this is the best dad I could ever hope for why is my dad crying and it really rocked me and I learned that day. What a man looks like the man does not run from what he's done. He doesn't just act differently now that things you know weren't good before because at different now. He went back to the harm that was caused. And he owned it like a man and from that point forward that did so much for me that when I mess up or I do something I need to own it you don't run from it you deal with it head on and I learned about manhood from the way in which he dealt with that. But I remember just thinking why is my dad crying. I better appreciate it. Now obviously but at the time I thought I know there's nothing you did to hurt me I can't think of anything more that I could have asked for but he came to realize what God's accountability was to him as a father he finally realized and he saw how short he fell but his parents didn't give him that. So how could he give it to me you can't give what you don't receive same thing with my models my parents fall their parents have let them down in these areas and those things generationally got worse as they went. I worked again for a second year I'm working retail in the offseason and finish line and at Target and the third year I marched in two thousand and seven was the last year more it was a drum major The second two years that I watched the top ten Corps make another top twelve corps make finals world championships. My core was thirteenth place the first two years of March. We just miss world championships really made it to semifinals. The third year I marched I was the head drum major were actually tenth place in the world. So I made the top ten and to D.C.I. world class finals in Pasadena. So I age out on top. You only do until you're twenty one years of age. So I aged out in that sense of feeling a guy really accomplished something. Thousands of people chanting. And screaming and being still excited about the performance that you put on it was a great performance and I was teaching the drum on it during high school in the offseason. And so I taught in two thousand and five two thousand and six two thousand and seven my kids were undefeated they got the highest score of the day in all age ranges in all school size categories in every show that they went to. And then I get promoted to management in retail. So all the success is creeping into my experience and I'm not finding what I'm looking for. I'm not finding it. And two thousand and six in the middle here in two thousand and six dead starts watching three B. and at some time during the span. We had to get rid of satellite T.V. to save expenses the debt and we just this is before the switch to digital. So just over the year we're living in Pittsburgh Illinois. That is watching three B. and he encourages me to start watching it. So the first thing I see is Doug bachelor's most amazing prophecies series in two thousand and six the one he did in Springs Michigan. And I remember thinking I'm not doctrinally grounded even though I had been attending a bad his church. I don't know doctrine. Really you know I believe that people when they die immediately go to heaven. They immediately go to hell. Whatever but I don't like who the guy Christ is once saved. Like I don't know my head from a hole in the ground theologically I just don't know these things. But as I'm watching three B.N. and grafters walking through the stuff I remember thinking to myself. I've I've never heard this before but that's what the text says like that. That seems to be what the Bible actually teaches and I was open because I didn't have stereotypes that this is I'm twenty one years old at this stage and I have never heard of a Seventh Day Adventists for twenty five years of my twenty one years of my life. And I live in Pittsburgh Illinois had never heard of a Seventh Day Adventist and it's for my benefit. Really I don't have any stereotypes actually went to school with an abacus and did know it in high school but I didn't have any stereotypes to contend with and I didn't have any you know negative thoughts or feelings. I just had nothing. And I'm watching three B.N.. For a while and one of my friends were my best friends. The mom of some friends of mine was kind of like a mentor to me at that stage I said something about watching something on three B.N. and she came she said you know they're Seventh Day Adventists right. And my response was. What's a seven they have missed. I literally have no idea what she's talking about. I've been watching three B.N. that have no because I have no frame of reference as it has no meaning to me the seventh day has no meaning to me. So even if the phrase Seventh Day Adventists was was used. There is it just doesn't stick because I have nothing to tie that to. But whatever these people are saying seems to be true. She's like What do you. This is crazy. This is from a bad as she says Would you believe a once saved always saved the said mill and she says because I've been to the diddler with that mint and she says well they do. I'm thinking this is the weirdest thing in the world coming from a bad dist. But she didn't believe it and neither does have they have this by the way we don't believe in once saved always saved but it is what it is so in two thousand and seven I ate a drum corps and I started keeping the Sabbath in November of two thousand and seven is my first for Start keeping the Sabbath. But I'm working a working management retail and it's Thanksgiving and just imagine how well this is going to go over with my employer. Plus I'm teaching drumline football games or on Fridays and field shows or on Saturdays now the season it just ended the undefeated season it just ended but Gaza. My dad came up to me and he was so good about he said Buddy it's either true or it's not like what or what are we going to do about the Sabbath thing he didn't even yell it maybe it's like what you going to do and I realize he's right but I don't know what to do. So I'm battling with this to some degree but I decide I need to start keeping sat with my bosses aren't too pleased with this for obvious reasons but they do their best to comedy but there are times when I have to work on the Sabbath and then I don't think you well God will understand you know I'm kind of trying to do it. Most of the way but I you know the god guy will understand it's kind of what I'm thinking. You know God doesn't understand he gave him up for a reason there for good. But that being said I did the best I could with. But I had he conviction I need to leave that job and I need to leave my my teaching jobs. Well this is kind of a scary thought. Because I don't know what else to do with my life spring of two thousand and eight I get a phone call. I'm working at Finish Line and the voice sounds solicitor and I said you have to forgive me but your name wouldn't have to be John McCain Would it and he said yeah. That's the way I watch you on T.V. and I love it when you sing his or it's a North Face jackets I think. And so he came to the store a few weeks later when his stuff came in. Maybe a few days later and when he gets or says All my friends think I'm crazy but the Sabbath is a stab with the dead are really dead and hell isn't happening right now in this to the papacy is the anti-Christ and they think I'm crazy but I don't think I'm crazy. Do you think I'm crazy. And this guy and I saw in his eyes like in his eyes he had this look of God and. You know a young guy he's excited for the message. This is low hanging fruit baby so he goes out to his car he gives me a couple books I think he gave me one book was called like getting ready to meet Jesus or something something like that and they were thinking to myself that you think I don't know Jesus but I I read the book anyway as a little offended but I read the book anyway. And so much for you with your the book was after that but I thought I started to kind of look through them. He invites me to church. I waited until after Kant meeting this is now around June I show up and I met Janice over turf a couple times and it was the church secretary them and has some conversations with her. So I show up and she's the greeter that day. It says it all. It's so good to see you. She brought me into pastor's Sabbath school class Americans have a school class you can introduce me to people there and then afterwards and she was like hey you can come sit with me which meant so much to me because I don't know what these people are about like i'm not been having this church I don't know what you do what you don't do like if this is kind of like you know Catholic Church like you stand you sit. You stand you sit. I don't know when and where and you say something with these I don't know what to do so. She was super super sweet she let me sit with her and I did that for a couple weeks and then it was communion Sabbath right after that. And she ends up having me. Do communion with Jim the deal. Jim had he was by himself and they were going to do communion together so she said hey I want to reduce you to Jim He's a World War two veteran he's a really sweet man and I think you like him. I think you really like him. Well he looks a lot like my great seaman picture but he looks a lot like my great grandfather actually who meant the world to me and who my dad took care of who had all timers. By start spending time with Jim and go visit and hang out in his trailer afterwards and it just it was just nice to kind of meet somebody he was trying to coach me through. I haven't his I'm a little bit would watch three be in today or when it was on T.V. with afternoons. It was just him and his cat his travel trailer back behind the call center and we he had a health issue he said have some health problems and a visit to the hospital. So I go visit the nursing home once he got released. It's not really the best place for Jim to be living in his trailer but we don't there's not a lot of other options for him at this stage and so I just said Well Jim just come to my place. So I took care of him for the span of six seven months probably he lived in my apartment gave him my bed or myself in the living room and we tended to fuel the churches around the washing of the three and I learned a lot because I just left my jobs and it was perfect timing because I left my job with didn't really know how to apply myself so I was investing in Jim being there for him and spending copious amount of times in the amount of time in nature nature photography spending time the out of doors and time in the out of doors communing with God and in serving someone else I finally made that full surrender they had done before. I was baptized that they had a good Friday in two thousand and seven but my heart wasn't fully surrendered at that stage and I regret that. But that was just that was just the case. Jim died the spring of two thousand and nine and I'm looking for opportunities and service now and don't really know what to do. There's a bunch of miracles that happened as we had time to cover but a bunch of miracles happened to get me a job in emergency management in Quincy Illinois. And while I'm there. The first week I'm there I mean that me. Adrian who became the pastor of the Marion church a few years after that. Day and Romania dude good guy man he's a good guy. So Adrian be friended me and mediately in fact the first Abbot on there. He invites me over to his house for lunch. And I cannot tell you how much that meant to me because I had never had that happen in my life never the Sunday church and I was there for years never knew the churches I attended before then and I just thought to myself You want me to come to your house that meant so much to me and to you you may think like I feel my house all the time no one ever invited me. So in my background I had a very cold experience of the Baptist church in Marion and then the different experiences I had to this stage there is a potluck every once a while I think I just want to Jim's house typically I think to his trailer but I have a pastor want me to spend time with I just in my mind I just feel like this is a really important person why is he taking time for me because I don't fully understand these things work. And more cover them to him that I knew at that stage. So I go over and he is wise makes this boom in a Romanian bread and something else. But then they had these hot dog looking things and I am and I remember taking a bite out of this thing and thinking to myself I have no idea what that is but is definitely not a hot dog and it was disgusting and like I'm someone who will do things out of principle. Even if it's not enjoyable. I'll do it out of principle. I couldn't make it through it. I got part of the way but I couldn't make it through and to this day. I'm assuming it's a form of veggie dog that I haven't had since and it's still bad it could have even been the beloved big Frank. But in my mind I'm convinced that it was something that I've never had since and it still tastes bad just in my mind but anyway that was kind of my experience but then I get to a situation where I just don't know what to do I have a few options at the end of my twelve month term there in America or oh no it's playing Don't don't do that. And I actually don't have audio for this either. Can I have one of these things. I don't think there's one right right near us though so can I use this. I don't know is going to make any sound here hope it does so anyway I I come to the springtime we have three B.N. can't meeting some church member some Quince You're going down to it so I come with them. I was a fool and I put my tent right where am I right in the field over here there was a big open field people always put their tents in the tree line and behind the bathrooms I put mine in the middle of fields I didn't know any better and it was like one hundred twelve degrees in my tent it was hostile for some of it but I remember that I saw angio sitting in the back of the sanctuary here and Angie comes up to me she says it's so good to see you. And she says. What are you doing now. So I shared with her and she says Hey David. Actually it's going to be here and you know you're young you like him. So yeah I know he's speaking next and she says he's speaking next. Were you doing. C Only back here's a guy I want to be on T.V. like I really don't want to be on T.V. And so I just you know no one's head is in my way it's great. She says you should come to the front like not only want to be on T.V. and yet I want to be at their signal comes come with me as I really don't want to be in front. She says No Come with me and so she brings me up front and there's one open seat Larry McLucas is filling in you're telling people don't you bubble gum and filling the seats and as I there's one seat open and she literally says is the seat open Good sit out she didn't await for an answer for these people and so she sits me down. They say they get ready they play the doobie do music on the thing and they start doing their stuff and David starts preaching and in the middle of the sermon this happens but let me see if this actually. Actually think I and my gosh I am personally. I'm sorry for you guys. But the central right about your personality. That's the stinker and personal and very trite about his personality distinct from her personal prejudices very much Frank and precious a great deal about God but I think it was a definite article record for her personality and pretty much every day. OK OK OK there are people right here every single day and just as much a scrubber State Rep shall remember tradition or actually a commentary on God God's goodness from God The question from God Africa sure but it doesn't tell us a lot about the work and let us really get back to Fredricka argument that for people it very same right now. Writing about the not having the recognition of God but it isn't a whole lot about your personality. Here's my question. Describe everything you say OK. That. And go. Right here in the not part of nature of God rather than just go out. Oh right. The answer that question is yes. By the way for those of you who are wondering about. So anyway. Imagine being me in this situation like I'm supposed to be hiding over here. Angie's belligerent persistence puts me in the front row and then David Asher points at me in the middle of that sermon and says What's your name. So I tell him my name I think well that's cool I guess I had sent him an email a year earlier just kind of a desperation I don't know what to do with my life I feel like God's leading me to ministry but I don't know that looks like and I just need help. Man and I just told about everything I had seen when I was going through. Questions I was having about you know is this thing really. Now because I'm still wrestling I'm not an abacus yet I'm just wondering like everything that I'm hearing on T.V. seems true but what I'm seeing in churches doesn't fully line up with me and I think we all have that battle right. The church because I had this expectation that we're saying that we're the remnant church of prophecy that we've got it together. But then you meet people in churches that just don't have it together and they look like me. I thought you're supposed to look better than me. You look just like me you're a mess too. Not really but I just I'm just wrestling at this stage I didn't know if this thing is real. Because what you're saying is true but as I actually work. I got to know. And so anyway I I met the church. I come back know at lunch I go and talk to Dave is like hey that was cool i guess i really need to talk band cause I'm trying to work through this ministry stuff do you have some time in just didn't work out but I end up meeting somebody there and the somebody I meet is a man named been Jim and middles him. Been Jamin Middleton is the person that started unseen media group with Ryan. And this is a year before they start and see me to a group. Never in visioning that they would do that. So been I've become friends and accountability partners we get along really well and we keep in contact been went to a rise in two thousand and eight the year that I tried to go and God said No I tried that earlier. And so now I'm in a situation that been with the year that I tried to go and God told me no very clearly the same no he gave me when I was drunk or so I thought it's never going to be an option. I can't go. It was an issue of timing and circumstances I didn't know that I just knew the know was in phatic. So what God began to do when I got back from that from Camp Meeting Father's Day is pretty soon afterwards I buy my dad a new king james amazing facts prophecy study Bible I bought one for me too and I bought him a strong second cordons. I've not read the New King James version I've only read the N.I.V. but I did know that the call that God has in my life was second Timothy four five. But you keep your head in all situations endure hardship do the work in the van. It was and discharge the duties of your ministry. So this is what I knew was the call of God in my life fully know how it would work. Dad had subsequently left his job around two thousand and five because he realized I've failed my son as a father spiritually and he's got a whole lot of baggage that he's dealing with and he's going to do a lot of investment to get this stuff dealt with. As a dad left his job to invest in me full time and had he not done that. I don't think ever would have made it because dad continued to go through hardship in the waiting so that I could stand on my own because I wasn't capable of doing that yet. Maybe you've had that in your experience you know people like that that they weren't capable of standing on their own just yet and they needed a Barnabus in their life they needed someone to go through the trenches of hardship with them because they would have made it on the other side. So the hardship that we went through financially was not because my dad is inept and doesn't want to work or thing like that that wasn't the case at all but his upbringing first of all was one that's very much about how much money you make and what your status is and what cars you drive so God allowed my dad to go through severe poverty and hardship and the foreclosure of our home and reposition of a car to break my dad of that worldly mentality. Sometimes God has to speak really loud to get our attention to break into that stuff. But on top of that I was not strong enough to stand on my own so he was kind of trailblazing before me to just have a safe place to be while the world fell apart around me and God had to do this to reach me and I'm fully convinced of this. So when that happens. I get back and. As I'm reading through the Gospels that's where I started in this New King James Bible. I believe in reading in the United v. But I get to this text in the Gospel of Luke where this young woman is weeping over the death of her son she's actually a widow and she's weeping over the death of her son and Jesus is moved with compassion for this woman and walks up to the coffin and touches the coffin and you know he says. He says young man I say to you. Arise and I remember it was just like lightning struck in my heart and in my mind and that God is speaking. So clearly and telling you I'm calling you to rise. And I remember thinking to myself. I don't know what to do with this I grabbed my Bible walked out of the living room I talk to designate what just happened and he says Buddy God already told us not to go. And the answer that dad gave me is the answer that he should have given me he was living upon what God had said in the past but what God was doing was breaking the dependence I had upon a man to know the will of God for my life. Maybe I've had parents who've worked like this in your life. They've sheltered you they've been solid rocks for you in your experience but it makes it very difficult to function on your own because they're always right. The counsel they give is right the rebukes they give are right and so you just kind of start treating them almost in a pope ish fashion. Because everything that they seem to be pointing to proves right. But God didn't want me to have it. God does not want grandchildren God wants children and God was working through this process to not cause division between Dad and I but because unification between God and I that makes sense to cease my dependence upon a man and to fuse my dependence to God and he did this god made it abundantly clear that right before I left. That's what he wanted but he kept dead in the dark so that I could learn to hear from God for myself during this span. So that was the first text I read and I was dead. I had talked about the fact that I need to be rebaptized and I've been thinking of the book of Acts and there's this text where it says and now why are you waiting a rise and be baptized and I thought oh my lord. What are you doing. So God starts opening these doors and I am a little freaked out because I don't have any money like at all to go to this thing is like forty five hundred dollars. I don't have it but I start praying and these techs are speaking to me a couple other instant things happen to speak to me and so I decide I'm going to fill an application by faith talk to Ben about it some talk to my past like your pastor you know God is this is going to work this way or not I don't know what's going on here because I have no track record of God speaking to me personally like anything that I think God is leading me to had failed in the past so you imagine my dad doesn't really know what to do with this because I'm making decisions for myself that God has said clearly don't do and I have no track record whatsoever as. What would you do in that situation. You know what I mean just to kind of feel his position there. So what is happening is I sent off the application by faith barely had the money for the application fee and unfortunately I get accepted which means now I have to pay for this thing and I don't know how to handle this. So you have to have the half of the money for the tuition by a certain deadline because they have a waiting list. So I send them so the church raises a little bit of money here and there but I don't have a full answer quite yet. And then I The money doesn't come. So I end up having to tell them I'm sorry I can't make it because I don't have the money but I really want to go and I come back the next day and I really want to go just say you know like I really want to do this but I just don't have the funds to do it and it's a small church I don't really have a lot of ways to raise a lot of funds. I go visit my family do some other things in southern Illinois move some of my belongings south because my work term in Quincy is about to in those working numbers in Management Agency and so as I'm coming back to the area doing that come back and I have a dream and I'm not a prophet of the son of a prophet but I have a dream. If you are in a dream where you're in a place but is it look like that place like in your mind in your dream you're in your house but it is look like your house. So I'm in a classroom setting and David is teaching but strangely enough the place is actually the kitchen area of my grandma's house. I didn't ask for it. Don't ask me it just happened. Quite silly enough I sold her my T.V. to have food money when I went to rise and I'm really freaked out because I just don't know what to do. And I literally started buying lottery tickets now I'll let you guess where they won the lottery or not. Of course I'm a rookie I don't know really how God works in these things I was fully convinced I want to Thais like I just need money. I just need five thousand dollars and all ties that you know five hundred dollars of it. And that will cover my and that's all I'm asking. I'm asking for a lot of course I didn't win and I'm just freaked out about money like so. Freaked out about money and I end up having another dream pretty close to winterize is going to start and it's a classroom setting it actually looks like a classroom setting and David is teaching again. And David and another guy are basically where Cynthia and Dan are and they're facing each other like this and I'm off to the side and the in the dream this is all that I see. The guy points to me but doesn't look at me and says How did he get here and the response that David says is Oh I took care of it and the dream was over. And I remember thinking to myself I'm just going to have to be crazy God's going to do this. Somehow I don't know how the church raises some more money I'd come back to so the noise came back home I forget the time of those trips exactly may not be fully. On par with the facts as far as the travel so the annoying but I know I came back from Illinois and the pastor said hey can we talk to and. No Thursday. Moving is on Monday the Thursday before move in. I don't know what else to do it so I choose to fast for three days now. I've never done this in my life and there's not much of me as you can tell us a little scared about this but I want to give it a shot. I don't know what else to do and desperate times call for desperate measures. So I fast for three days and three nights. And at the end of this fast. I'm exhausted I'm tired. I've wrestled with Jesus and I pray before I eat my food. God I need you to work a miracle. You're leading and I got to see you do something and this is really I look like a fool. Right now to my dad and to other people. My family like you got to do something big. Within twenty to thirty minutes of that prayer the administrator from arise emails my pastor and says hey we got some more donations in we have five hundred more dollars for D. How close are you guys. Now why are they even considering this. I gave away my spot there's a waiting list. This is like two days beforehand they have a full roster forty eight people if they add me that's an odd number and Ferrari's that really messes stuff up. So why are they even thinking about this. But they want me to go. So my pastor and some more money had been raised that weekend. Pastor text me says can you meet me the church tomorrow morning. This is movin day Monday Morning them to go meet with him. I go in. And he hands me a card there's a card from one of the members this member gave their entire social security check to go towards my tuition. Plus the church a raise some more money plus the five hundred dollars summarize we're now a thousand dollars short by the way I bought a lottery ticket on Friday before sundown and that when I didn't win that one either. While I'm fasting by the way and. Yeah. You know a part of the four Sabbath right. Got to keep the commandments of God. So as. Monday morning so they he says what. Why don't we call the administrator rise and see if they'd be willing to let the church pledge to pay off your tuition before you graduate. Got nothing to lose. So he calls Randy and Randy says well we normally don't do that before. Do you we're going to make an exception you know why. Because I tried to go in two thousand and eight and couldn't they remembered me in the one to see me there and they know I'm not an advantage in this A Probably the thing to get me in so because they've had this happen every single time they have an out someone who's not in Nablus come to rise. You don't just take anybody by the way but people who are close people vouch for him. Everybody's bad guys have is everybody except for one person in my class. It was because their family made them swear that they would not make a decision while they're there because our family wasn't having missed and they do their family they're not having this and more they want to do a profession of faith but didn't because of the peer pressure of the family and now other unhappiness they're not doing that. Unfortunately. So he says yeah my pastor buys my plane ticket out of his own personal money. I fly out and it's the most amazing experience. I could have asked for to prepare me for ministry. It gave me everything that I needed and I saw first hand that God could use me in ministry. Because I had every sermon that David has on the internet on my computer but I was doing nothing for Jesus. I was doing nothing for Jesus. I sounded smart in prayer meeting I sounded smart in church and I had comments that I would make and I didn't swear at work and people liked me and he would even apologize to me when I didn't swear. Whenever they would swear at work but I was not doing anything for Jesus and going to arise broke me of this that I'm not meant to be a consumer God did not save my soul to consume Christian material God saved my soul to save other souls and that's why he saved all of us. So when I had that encounter and I saw that God could use me because I'm an introvert I don't want to be in front of people don't let whatever's happening here deceive you. This is all a miracle that you're watching because I'm a I'm a mess on the inside. I don't like doing this. I didn't ask for this. This is a scary thing to me. But it's the call. He gave and I'm just rolling with it. And. So I it goes well outreach goes well I shared my testimony some of the battles I had had really really powerful and my sermon my final exam is that you need to basically give a ten minute sermon on a New Testament character that isn't Paul and isn't Jesus. So I'm going to do mine on Timothy because that's the call that God had in my life I preach the sermon I'm terrified because if you go to pass ten minutes an alarm goes off. It doesn't matter if you're praying or preaching they stop you know that's it. Stop. I get it done a like nine minutes and fifty two seconds I think. And I didn't have time in front of me. God is very merciful things went really well and this is what David said to me this was terrifying and really difficult for me once I graduated what comes out in David's melt is that I have nothing negative to say about that now in my mind I'm thinking excuse you. I have no idea what I'm doing man. Say something and the. Oddly the words that came out of my mouth were all not very good look and there's bound to be something you can say that's literally what I told them in front of everybody and. I just didn't know how to handle this. So I'm getting all these compliments from my instructors and from my classmates and this is really difficult because all I wanted in the will remember was to be this famous musician guy. But now God puts a call on my life and what do you do when you start receiving praise as a preacher and you struggle with pride. Already you know standing. I don't know how to handle it. And so and someone came and told me that David said my sermon was his favorite one of my classmates came and told me that a lunch that day and I remember thinking my my head barely fit on the airplane. But here's the problem. I don't even have money to fly home from this place. Pastor buys my plane ticket to get me home and even pay for the baggage because I came in pay for the bags I literally had no money. Will end up happening was dad is trying to invest our family here locally and had expended all the resources that he had at that time to try to invest our family because the majority of them. We really worry about their spiritual condition. And this I learned so much from the way that he dealt with my soul and why him to invest in our families the way that he did that he was willing to invest in him invest of himself to the dregs. If it cost him everything and were living in on cardboard boxes in the tent. He would do it. I never met anybody like that in my life that was that determined that they didn't care what it cost. They would give all of this to somebody really that's what it took so human being in a homeless shelter for a span because things fell apart he was able to get things going financially just took it wasn't happening. So I get off the plane from arise certificate of excellence in my suitcase and I go to a homeless shelter in St Louis and it's one of the best gifts God could have given me and I mean this with every ounce of sincerity I can muster. This was literally the best thing that could happen to me he gave me the most is treatment. And the responsible they had they had satellite locations from St Louis. This was closer to Jefferson City and my responsibility literally was to feed sheep bread. That was my responsibility. And spiritual parallels to the max God literally gave me the Moses treatment of being a shepherd of the sheep. A whole a shepherd of the sheep and he taught me more about the value of a soul in discipleship than I learned arise and it was because a rise in the good education was a solid education but God teaches us through object lessons and we learned more that way and that's what I needed. Now dad that needed so much as I needed it but because I needed it. He was able to go through it. First ensure that it does fall apart at the seams while I went through it that makes sense. God is mercy will do that for us things in the turning around for us. Later that year we got jobs things been fine ever since. Dez doing community service in Murphysboro and Carbondale he loves it. He's got his own house. Things are fine Mom is doing well she's serious about Jesus God has turned things around for us but that season our life. I needed. I desperately needed and I don't think I would have gotten off the mat if I didn't have someone with me. I fully believe that. So that experience was very very helpful to me by the way I was baptized December fourth two thousand and ten at arise a week later I got my my certificate. Here's one of the sheep I took care of we called her Lady blah blah. This is a little guy. It's away on that I took care of there's an awesome story about that that I don't have time to tell you maybe later there's a sermon I'd like to share here actually at some point called whose flock is this and all of this is just lessons I learned from taking care of the sheep so maybe someday that all that will be afforded. But when I leave arise I still owe them six hundred bucks because God really blessed Adrian for investing in me. God opened up for him right around the time of my graduation the district here. It's a larger district is better for his family financially better school opportunity for his wife his boys were there in the church school and got a super good to him. So God bless him for investing in me and I would not be a Seventh Day Adventists were not for his investment in me when it happened. He took time to invest in me when I just feel like I was lost in the multitude everyone else and that meant so. Much to me and I vowed I would never let anyone else feel that way that I need to ensure that I make people know that they're welcome. And that we do that the right way so I stole them six hundred bucks on the whole most and I get a rise there's nothing I can do about that. I know getting a job in Carbondale for a span and eventually God called me to Tennessee to do some work here to educate me about a year later and spent three years there was an elder in a bible worker at a local church and was also teaching at Heritage and before I came back here been in Iran and started in C. Media Group A year after I met bin and I'd always known about this ministry on the periphery but I never thought I would be involved in some of the media guy. And here I am and I'm super glad for it. I love writing with all of my heart of love. Been with all of my heart and I'm super stoked to be at unseen but I still rise six hundred bucks in two thousand and twelve one in Carbondale David comes and does that series in the Holy Spirit you remember that. Everyone hit the deer just outside of here. He just dropped me off at my house we had lunch together and then he dropped me off and I thought like it's my fault i'm sorry she left early or later I feel guilty but David had he came to visit me to see how things are going. We talked about what our minister is doing and my boss said hey would you be willing to let the teach something like this it arise and he said yeah this guy could do it. Pointing to me. And so we came here the next day I was like Friday I think the next day we came here would you go visit his guest house and my boss asked and received about that said Yeah right. The curriculum. So I did a wrote one on one Christian service how all Christians are called to be involved in in service and that's how the early church blew up was service in the preaching the sufferings of Jesus those two things together or the Soul to one or the goal that the answer to reach in people's hearts. I also covered why language exists in the Bible. We had a language ministry that we were doing and multicultural reach those types of things. So I go I fly to rise but I feel bad because the tickets going to cost seven hundred dollars. I'll have to close with this. I have so many more miracles maybe I can do a part to some other Vespers but this will be the main main gist of my story how they came and have is involved in ministry in general and maybe we'll do a part too. Later. But I still arise six hundred bucks this is a year now after I graduate. Nearly two years out like nearly two years now. They pay seven hundred dollars for a plane ticket because it's super expensive to fly to Eugene Oregon it's a little nowhere and so I give Randy the information for the ticket the information for the ticket says seven hundred dollars and they take you over there and by feel bad because I owe them six hundred dollars but they believed in the material they believed in me and gave me a chance. So I flew out I teach this class got a really really blessed and let me see if I have time to please give the back. Yeah I will I'll do both. So people make decisions like at arise is the craziest thing in the world but I call people to make decisions and they did I just couldn't believe it. People were repenting in. And as I go to the airport the next day they say I'm sorry we over book your flight but this happens all the time there's fog in San Francisco so there's a delay which happens every day they built the San Francisco Airport right next to the foggy water place. Whatever that is and so happens all the time says it's only give up their seat don't worry about it. OK I don't know what they're doing so they go out to the computer thing on the outside not their computer but the self-help touchscreen thing they put me a boarding pass. I go up they say but if it doesn't work we can you know what will make it right. Whatever that means but they say I want to get the plane so I don't pay attention. What they told me about that every single person gets on the plane no one gives me their seat. So I go to the counter and say hey what do I do now and they said well we got to make it right because we messed up you. So we're going to refund your plane ticket I thought praise God arising out to pay for me to come out here. But they said we also had to make it right based upon the inconvenience you're going to go through because of this. Oh so does that mean. So they're looking for somebody in the airport to sign the check and I don't think anything of this for years until I told the story in three B. in radio in and she stopped me is like do you stop. They don't do that. OK sorry. Can she kind of explain what was going on there. That these people wrote me a check for thirteen hundred dollars. United or Delta for get one of the two and I'm assuming this is par for the course I don't know anything. But they're going to pay me back for the plane ticket and for the inconvenience based upon how long I'm going to be delayed for my next flight. There's only one flight from San Francisco to St Louis. I'm to miss it. So it's a whole day I'm going to miss that six hundred dollars plus the refund of seven hundred dollars thirty hundred bucks and she tells me last spring or last October October two thousand and fifteen. I think of September when I gave my testimony. She's like look we are second house is basically an airplane. She didn't say it that way but they fly a lot right they fly a whole lot and she said airlines don't do that they don't write checks they give you validators but they don't write you checks. This ran a miracle happened to this skinny kid for whatever reason but it was awesome because what that did was that pay to rise back to the plane ticket but also paid off my tuition God literally paid off the remainder of my tuition in that airport in Eugene Oregon and I flew out the next day. No problem now. So a thirteen hundred dollars check is what happens and people make decisions while I'm at light bearers that's in two thousand and twelve. Right after that I moved to Tennessee and I'm there for nearly three years. In the summer of two thousand and fifteen. I go to libraries convocation and with the year before I didn't really want to go. This last year. This is the last story I promise. And I wasn't really planning on going to libraries convocation because it's expensive to fly out there it is expensive. I love to see David Alosi other guys by his eyes can't afford it. Well what ends up happening is God really convicts me. I believe it was an April March or April that I need to be at Labor's convocation heavy conviction and this is on a Sunday and I told God no like no I don't want to go. It's going to cost too much money. This is so absurd I've seen so many miracles in my life. Financially I know better than that I know better. Plus I have a credit card that's free money. Doesn't cost me anything. Those people are crazy not to let me use money that doesn't even exist but I didn't want to have credit card debt right. And how are you going to pay for that credit card debt. I just don't have that Bible working teaching at heritage of an elder or just doing a basically serving as that as an associate pastor at that church and as I have this time I don't really know how to handle it but God says go. And so I put out a fleece I never do this now I'm not saying putting out fleeces is a sin. I just am so distrustful of myself that somehow subconsciously I want to make something happen I don't I just can't do it. It is for me it doesn't work. But I did this time I said Lord if you really want me to go to this thing let there be a light there is newsletter in my mailbox tomorrow morning. I never know when these things come I just do I get it every once in awhile. And as the course of the day went on I started at wonder you know I wonder if Matt power is going to be there because that part was the associate director to rise when I went and he was Australian I worked for the conference there and once arise Australia. But you know he the G.C. is right after libraries convocation this particular year maybe Matt would be there to see what these thoughts go through my mind I go out to my mailbox the next day and I kid you not I open that thing there's a light bearers newsletter sitting in my mailbox and I thought OK All right. But I did say to be fair that it better mention convocation So I open the thing and it does mention convocation and it says that Matt power is speaking and all right. I guess that settled in his and then we'll whip out the fake money and hope for a miracles that's what I did and the first the first tickets I saw were like seven hundred dollars they were too expensive but I ran a race around the mortal day in Chattanooga and those at a friend's house and I saw the ticket went down to five fifty took it I bought it say two hundred fifty bucks on the plane ticket. And I run the car on there for two days too because I flew in early and I left late to have more time with some of the staff there and so my friends who were in turns and who were working for convocation. Because they're going to get married right after that we work together here it is on have some more time with them so I bought a bunch of groceries I spent one hundred ten dollars in groceries the rental car was one hundred bucks says two hundred ten dollars more to seven hundred sixty dollars is what I spent on this comic Asian trip total. I get there in the day I get there is actually Father's Day two thousand and fifteen and my buddy Nick comes up to me and says hey did you hear about Christian. He's like Man we've got to talk is it OK to did you hear about Christians had no Christian Martin who does the youth meetings there he also does these meetings with a sigh and think. Broke his neck that day on Father's Day he had borrowed somebody struck actually Neta works of the church for him. Yet never works at that in Grants Pass Oregon with him. And he he borrowed a tractor for someone who parked it he got out of the tractor the tractor comes out of gear and starts rolling down the hill. So he runs he jumps on the trailer and mashes the brakes and it won't stop or wherever the brakes are on that thing I don't know but he measures the brakes they won't stop. So he bails out his shorts get caught a one of the levers and it throws of down and he breaks the C two in two places. Now ninety seven percent of the people that have this type of injury are paralyzed die or have severe respiratory problems for the rest of their lives. He didn't die. He's not paralyzed and he has no respiratory problems but he also fell in a huge pile of poison ivy and he broke his wrist. He needed surgery for his wrist but he didn't need surgery for his neck and dude went to the G.C. in a neck collar the second week. Totally amazing. But anyway this guy supposed to run the teenager youth meetings the thirteen to seventeen year old meetings thirty nine thousand or whatever. So Nick is like dude I need to bail me out because they're wanting me to do these meetings but I don't have that many messages no I don't know what to do and you do this and and plus eighteen are supposed to clean the bathrooms and stuff and that's what we're going to use this money to have. Prepare for a wedding and other things. He says I can't do it. Can you do it and I says I'm not going to ask for it but if they come and ask me to do it all do it. So you meal calls me the next day and says Hey I know you heard about Christians that yeah. This is where you do it. So that's fine. So I had to come up with ten messages but thankfully I do this for a living so that's pretty easy. I had stuff I do a heritage. So there's ten messages I'm going to preach. And I do the first meeting there's like fifty three kids there the first night. That's how many kids they had for the weekend the year before. Praise the Lord. So I do the meetings I do my thing. And the first night Brennan Schrader's wife Miranda who works in the office there. She said you know they're paying you to do this right says what I mean they're paying me to do this because we're already told there was that they were going to give me the D.V.D.'s for freaks I was going to miss the adult meetings but I said OK so I go and meet with the office lady the next day and she says Hey. So we're going to be five hundred dollars for doing the youth meetings. Plus a forty two dollars a day remuneration or speaker know not what they call it for perdiem for eating a listen to her and so she said you know forty two dollars per dmards I made it wasn't that much because a fair amount for pretty I'm that ends up being like. What was it five hundred plus that in the being like seven hundred ten dollars I think so. Nearly all but fifty dollars of what I spent for this trip. I'm getting back now. And I told people before I left I don't know how but honestly a miracle. I thought there were checks at airports for ticket things because they happen to me in the past so I was waiting for you know last last thing never happened. So I overtake there all the planes had plenty of room no problem going out there but I told people I will call you and tell you in the middle when the miracle happens. I just know God will do it. So this happens. I'm pretty stoked. And then she said had to get here because we pay for your travel to is like. And as like as like now as I flew and she says all we can do that and we typically is two miles is I would ask you to do that. I feel bad about this but you can just give me the mileage you would. Even Christian had he come or you can just keep it whatever it was that was just him you're playing you know receipt also we can do they paid for the whole plane ticket to they wrote me a check for like thirteen hundred seventeen dollars and said somethin somethin since. And I could not believe it. I needed like six hundred seventy dollars on this trip. So I'm praising the Lord Jesus because he's awesome and faithful and provides for all of my needs that I could ever ask for but then I it comes the last day I want to tie this year message he does on the sufferings of Jesus which is pretty compelling. So I said would you do that and he's like look I'm going to leave like it. I had to wake up at three in the morning to fly to in a deep pastor's meanings or something. He said to pitch truth like I can't do it because you teach it or you do it like. I don't know what to do so I present thing else and God was so good like twelve to fifteen kids made decisions for Jesus the in that message a message called is God care and I couldn't believe it. I just thought to myself like this is why you did this. God knew that these kids were ready to make decisions. God knew that Christian would break his neck down to the chose that. And of all the people. God told me to be there. And God showed up. So remember in two thousand and twelve on my way to Tennessee. I get a thirteen hundred dollars check and people make decisions. Now I'm leaving to see to come to unseen and at white bears I get a thirteen hundred dollars check. And this what I get to keep I don't get to keep the first I gave all at the library. This when I get to keep and people made decisions and it's kind of the bookends of my my time in Tennessee and Tennessee was a place where God really laid me in the dust and did a lot of chiseling on me to do a lot of breaking of me and a lot of stuff need to be dealt with. And he did even more the last year I thought he fixed me in Tennessee. But I was wrong he just he was just prime in the tank I guess the real press happened in the last year. But God is. Amazing. And then when I get to the airport. I was able to give up my CA get a travel voucher on my way home to. So God is awesome. I love Jesus with all of my heart. That's why I'm a ministry that's why I'm in Illinois. Because of how God has been leading but I am very grateful for the fact that three B.N. exists because I would be a Seventh Day Adventists if it didn't and I'm super grateful to be part of your church family though it's not official yet but will this will treat it as if it is but it's a great great privilege to be here with all of you. I think you're an awesome supportive church family who are very giving I can see that and that makes me very happy because I came from a very giving awesome church in Tennessee. That's why I didn't want to leave because I knew what I had and didn't want to leave that but God has been good to you guys have been supportive of us. And we've had more to nice with three B.N. to kind of have partnerships has been a great great blessing so thank you for your time it was an hour and six minutes. Thank you for six minutes of overtime I hope it was helpful. Has this been helpful for you guys someone there's a faithful God on the throne in heaven he still exists miracles still happen and I'm assuming he's getting to the bottom of the barrel. If you've got a hold of me but let's keep working until he finishes it yeah. Let's cause of prayer Father think you for this privilege to come into your presence to be reminded of the fact that there is indeed a faithful God who loves us more than his own existence and the eternal Fellowship of the Godhead and I just pray that this story has been helpful for the people present. I pray that you would inspire them that God is real that he cares that he wants to work in their lives and that you called all of us to be missionaries it is not just me. It's not just CA It's not just the pastor in the elders all of us are called to be actively engaged in ministry that's why we have been saved and that's what you want us to be doing is it be involved in saving the lives of others. So I just thank you for your goodness for your provision. And I just pray that you would use this message to bless people you will be hearing and I ask this in Jesus' this media was brought to you by audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse. If you would like to listen to more sermon or leave a Visit W W W audio verse or.

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