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Logo of Michigan Camp Meeting 2016: The Harvest is Great

You and Your Forgiving Heart

Laurie Snyman

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Recorded

  • June 12, 2016
    9:30 AM
Logo of Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)

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Only Father we thank you for this opportunity to be a can we thank you for this special session that we can hear the words of wisdom. So we pray that we can take home things that will help us with our daily lives we thank you for all you many questions. And. Thank you for coming. It's been a wonderful Can't we need to you know that this is the last summon our session of camp meeting. Going to boo that OK But here we are can't meeting and everybody's got happy faces member we've been talking about smiling this week Everything's got a happy faces every smiling everybody's happy. We're doing really good and. Only the problem is that even though that we're happy Did you know that eighty five percent of you according to the statistics eighty five percent of you are holding a grudge. Against a parent a brother a sister. A spouse an ex-pat ause a friend or ex friend or someone else in your area did you know that. How many of you agree that that's probably true. What do we have to forgive people for let's talk about some minor things what are some minor things that we forgive people or have to forgive people for rudeness those are annoying things aren't they there's a difference between annoying and things that are done intentionally so give me some things that people do by being that are annoying. Lying could be very devious I don't know but being late would be another those are little miners what else. Was that. Yeah sets why I'm asking where. Person is that was supposed to. That's annoying OK. People who are correct you your head people you when you're talking you know that wasn't that day it was this day and it had nothing to do with story right or do you do it somebody else. Women they love to do that to their homes right or how about jealousy what kinds of jealousy is out there. Jealousy about somebody who got a degree that you didn't get or notoriety or prize or you thought that you had some common you or something like that. What about people who hurt our feelings like have you gone to can't meeting and somebody you know doesn't know your name. Or they don't know they don't act like they know you have you ever had that you go up and go How in the go. And you go so how's things going. Like have you ever had that or how about you go up to people and you walk up to a crowd and you think that they're your friends and they just kind of and you're right back here and they just start talking and they just kind of again or you any of that. What about bullies bullies are a little more intentional what do bully say and they're not only at school right there where. Yeah. They aggravate you mock you yeah OK they can also I'm tease you about your religion. They can tease you about your weight to you about your clothing about your hair nose or personal things aren't they thinking in a annoyed by that you're tried to. Turn around and ignore them back because that's how we feel when we're hurt we try to give him a cold shoulder or you never let him in your circle again. What about. People who have done things that have been really hurtful like taking your job away. Or said something to another person that caused a huge ripple in your family or whatever I bet all of us can feel that right or somebody who shuns us and we don't know why your have that happen. Or. People who. Don't think well of us or demean us or say you know way to go or you know that's kind of like you or I'd expect that to view that kind of behavior you ever had that get really quiet because most of us can remember those things right there hurtful are they not. And here's one of the encouraging things that we're going to talk about today is that God has come to this earth he said is that his son so this earth. And he's here with us to help us get through these things so that encouraging. And he's going to help us. He can free us from the turmoil we feel so first John four twenty let's look at that. Verse John for twenty. If someone says I love God but hates a Christian brother can I say or sister or husband or neighbor or boss or friend. That person is a liar is that pretty strong language. If we don't love people we can see how can we love God whom we've not seen. Anybody can say that in a different language I mean you know kind of our personal language. If I say that I love guy had but I shun people or throw insults at them or gossip about them or hurt or annoy them or agitate them on purpose. Then I'm really not a Christian is what it's saying. So how many of you can recount something that's happened to you that was really true man. How many of you I'm a woman how many of you had a mother bear experience where somebody said something about your kid your Had that happen OK I'm not alone I'm going to tell you about there was a man at my church and he was annoying right annoying he had. And counting out music for kids when they get up to the pulp but he would start you know doing this like trying to get him going faster and he'd say sometimes he would shout out from his pew faster faster or if they would be singing upfront he'd go off key after he I'm not kidding and I felt annoyed and you know what that went on for a couple years but you know it was always everybody else's kid now is there a problem in letting something like that go. I think there is when we let something go what happens. It builds up and it gets hot and actually it's like a furnace and you need a valve shuts I mean that lets the steam out and we need to tell somebody when they've been offensive and this man and hurt my friend who had been leading the music she stopped coming to church that was very hurtful I remember the pastor's children played beautiful music and they he did that to them often and one day my daughter was asked to play the piano. Well my daughter. I did not feel really confident about doing the piano she was very good at the piano. But she only did it because her friend my friend Diane who was our secretary had asked her and she wanted to please Diane and Diane said there was nobody at the Lansing church that could play that Sabbath and she hoped that she would play for her even all the responses and all that which my daughter said. And my daughter had actually had special music one time because she's shy Is it normal that you have a shot when you're not shy but anyway she was so shy and sui she had been so worried about getting up and doing the special music the she got a migraine that Sam And so this Sabbath that that Diane had asked her she was really worried about it and I knew how she felt she was feeling really stressed that she was going to have to. Do this and she continued to try and keep up with the music the organist was really fast that day which is a good thing right sometimes we go to sleep in church right and he started in from the third Pew faster faster hurry you're not keeping rhythm. Everybody sits and listens to this every week nobody says anything. But her mother was there that day. And it made her mother. I. Did I feel man have you ever. Felt that when you're mad what happens to you. I felt my face getting high juror feeling face your felt like this like surge like like Old Faithful coming up on you I mean I knew what a hot flash was before it happened I'm just like that was this for like that So anyway I continued all those years of him. Doing that to other kids that I started thinking about that you know when you're really angry at somebody start recalling all the bad things and you know who's got a list and he did it to them and they did that he didn't have the right what does he think you will do. And then you know I am a pastor's wife and I should you know act a certain way so I tried to be really. And you know how they dismissed people from the church well they dismissed from the front I came out of that eight pew and I ran up to the third one and when they went to dismiss them I sat right in front of him and said Why don't you remain seated we need to talk. And I thought well that's great EVERY is going dismissed out of the area and then I can really get him Dockery and I am not proud of this by the way I want you to know. So he said Well I I kind of want to leave Nicette No you need to sit down right now and he said well I'm going to be late for potluck and I said food is not important right now we need to get something subtle. So I said to him I noticed the way that you were pounding on the pew and saying faster faster faster was that because you are a music teacher oh no no I'm not a music teacher he said I didn't think so I said was that because you're the pastor and you needed to get to the sermon faster Oh no no I've never pastor I'm like that's what I thought well it was my intention to make him feel good about himself. So then I said to him so you know for years I've listened to you and knowing people who go up front you know children you know when Jesus says Don't you love how use the Bible. Or we use we use something that we know that to try and get somebody and I said when Jesus talked to people about issues do you think he got to know. THEM FIRST Oh yes yes you know who's in trouble oh yes yes that's what I think and I said and I want to know what was name of my daughter well I don't know I knew she was your daughter I'm like that's not good enough is it so if you are trying to help her then why don't you know her first thing it wound I don't know and I said that's exactly right you didn't even know her and you were already critiquing her Weren't you and he said well you know I just can't stand it I said you can't stand what I can't stand it when people go slow it just annoys me to death and I said if what does the Bible say Don't you love it doesn't scripture just nail people doesn't it for I say unto you write chording up first just a moment anyway so I said Doesn't the Bible say that if you hurt one of these children it would be better if you had a millstone tied around your neck and be thrown off of a bridge than to enjoy them and he said Oh it hurt. And I said So what are you going to do when you start to have this feeling over you that you need to critique somebody at the front Well I don't know I just don't know if I can I said you know what go to the bathroom go walk out the Platte in the parking lot do something so that you won't be tempted to hurt one of these children because I know that my friend so and so and somebody else's kids they were all very hurt and my daughter was probably very hurt by you today and he said wow I just certain mean that and I did know I you know whatever. Well when I was done I walked away and I thought I would feel so satisfied Don't you love it when you put somebody in your place don't you feel so sad. And in feel satisfying all fact I felt really guilty and the man's face was really rad. And you know what my friends were at the back you know what do you know that friends can help you to be worse have your nerves that you. They're in the back and they're going to get me fat that was great wow that was cool and I'm like well I can a lot of them have it I didn't yell it him well does that make me perfect and they said well you know you did something we all wanted to do and I'm so glad you told him why but he really had that come in well I could have felt that or but I still didn't feel very good that my hands started to shake you know how when you've been so angry can anybody have these. I'm not I'm so I'm happy that I did that and I want you to know that all week I had to think about what I had done. I didn't know his phone number I didn't know his name but I was really if ashamed of myself and so I had this focus that when I saw him and sat with I was going to take him aside and apologize to him you know what happened the next Samah. Know he did come he had a stroke on the front they took him out by ambulance. And I go did I contribute to that stroke Yeah maybe it was a diabetic coma it was something where he ended up going to the hospital he was really sick so when I finally saw him I had to apologize and knowing how much he likes potlucks and that that was the highlight I made him a casserole to you but you know what you can't take back anything that you say can you. And I was intentionally trying to hurt him because he hurt my daughter right and it is not OK to act that way and what this forgive I mean what does not and forgiveness do to our mental health when you think of anything. Yeah it can make us depression yet hold on to some anger long enough and you will develop a nice amount of depression. What about. Spiritually What does anger and unforgiveness do to us here ritually. God doesn't forget what was that God does forgive us but. It separates us we feel like we have to like be separated from cause we're doing someone else we're going to say. You did it didn't your spirit actually we kind of want to hide only we feel really dirty and so we hide and so there's this huge rift between us. That's right so it's really an issue isn't it. OK what does it do to us physically. Makes your blood pressure go up what else. It can give you. Give you nervousness if you're very upset about something you can have a skin eruption you can have some kind of infection it makes your immune system be suppressed Isn't that interesting there are lots of things what about when you're angry at somebody else. Do you ever think that sometimes you get angry at God and you blame him for things. You know. All of us have probably been hurt by some have not. So I'm going to give you a little quiz. And see how you do on. Forgiveness is an option and it's based on our feelings. So what's wrong with that statement I'm going to repeat it for the record or. It's not an option how do we know that. The Bible tells us that we must forgive doesn't it does it say that we can pick and choose who we're going to forgive or when to forgive or if we want to forgive or any of that it's not an option Mark eleven twenty five tells us real clearly that OK. Let's go to your faults forgiveness is a good idea if someone deserves it. How do you know that. That's correct forgiven you should be forgiven by the way it's not just for the other person it's also for us isn't it and what do we get when we forgive other people. Relief peace and joy so when we think that we are only going to forgive somebody who's going to forgive us back or somebody who's deserving or whatever we're losing all that peace and joy that we're supposed to have. OK. Forgiveness is a reward given to man by God. Your false. Forgiveness is the reward given to man by God let's say that again. Did I say it is a gift so it is a reward given by God to Man am I right so that would be true. Oh OK. Reward should be I should say and. Yes it's a good I should say it's a gift. When we choose to honor God and live my kingdom principles we are rewarded with forgiveness mercy when we get something we don't deserve grace one rewarded which we don't deserve and like people around us and a happy. Like people around us they don't have a happy outlook if they are not getting a forgiveness right Amazing grace how sweet the sound do you feel when you forgiven somebody that you feel that Amazing Grace what's the difference between grace and mercy by the way anybody studying that right now. I'll tell you what I think I think mercy is undeserved favor from God and grace is that he covers us with blessings even though we don't deserve it. So. We do a little bit of Amazing Grace when you do that are you all ready to sing. You want to stand up for a minute. While we stand to sing one phrase of it you're going to have me dying right. A. I mean you're Cademy travel where you. You can have a seat OK I hope that you'll come soon. OK. He's lost OK. All right here's another one forgiveness requires that the other person confesses or makes up to you. Why is that. That is correct it doesn't matter what they did it doesn't matter if they're going to forgive you or not God has asked us to forgive no matter what right we're individually responsible forgive somebody whether they forgive us or not right. And people say well you know I could go and say I'm sorry to that person but if I do I know that they're not going to respond back that is not your prophets have right it is up to got God wants to make sure that we are are forgiven and that we need to know when we go to sleep at night and we put our head on that pillow that. That he and us we are all clear right all right forgiveness is tough to do in the natural I don't know what that means wow. Oh OK we need to do we need to help us with that. God helps us the Holy Spirit can impact this can and not when we're asking for forgiveness OK forgiveness is reconciliation. Faults it takes one person to forgive and two to reconcile. God's heart is that we be reconciled to one another but this isn't always possible if the other person won't try Psalm one thirty three one you can look that up later. Forgiveness is not saying that what the other person did was OK. That is true forgiveness is not saying that what the other person did to you is OK because the Lord is not responsible I mean we are not responsible for them correct All right forgiveness is minimizing the hurt or wrong that was done to you. All right forgiveness is pardoning the offense. Well what Leslie can I use a really awful thing let's say that a child molester molested your children does that mean that we don't report them. No but we aren't supposed to hold it over their head does it mean that they don't need to pay some kind of. A penalty for what they've done doesn't mean that we're going to let them come in and babysit our children does that mean that we're not going to tell the church members what happened like none of that we have to recognize that forgiveness doesn't mean that what they did is OK or that we go back to where we were it just means that we have to forgive them and not hold it over their head because really forgiveness is for our hearts isn't it helps our mental health. If you have a spirit of unforgiveness toward someone. You can have a tortured mind have you read that story the account in the Bible where the landowner remember the story I deleted it I'm here by accident but anyhow the landowner was forgiving somebody their debt and was going to take their kids and their wife or whatever but then the next one when they were having a problem with somebody they wouldn't forgive and it said the Lord gave them over to torturers Well I think that that's significant do you think we can be tortured when we don't forgive people. Absolutely. The more we obsess about something the more miserable we get. The more we want somebody paid back in revenge for them the worse it is more my attitude will change when I have an issue and when we have unforgiveness we are allowing ourselves to wallow in spiritual filthiness. We need to shower in the water of the word the blood of Jesus can say men. Hopefully none of you are wallowing because that would be really sad. God wants His people to have healthier lives not tortured lives and he desires that we forgive. And why is it that he would desire that. Her own home for own joy for our own mental health for our own peace he wants us to have good lives when we represent Jesus fully to other people and we don't have all these things in our life we can represent him more purely can we not. So I told you that I had a surprise he almost didn't arrive. He found his one. MEMBER I told you a little bit about Carlo this week so I'm bringing him up here and I thought I'd. Interview you know I don't see that our our mike is working you know how to work Mike's car. No idea all right we're going to have to share this you have somebody knows that would be great but that's great. Yes it's an overused hand them but they said poison when you don't forgive somebody it's like having them wait you drinking the poison and you're waiting for you them to die but you're the one who drank it right because we're obsessing about it over and over all right maybe we'll just use this microphone. You think we can share. OK this is this is my son that I'm very proud of. And and I'm so glad he came. So yes that's. So tell me a little bit about I think everybody always wants to know how did you lose your arm let's start with where you grew up. I grew up in Haiti in the big city of Port au Prince and you know your mother and your father they got together and sure your mother thought that he'd make a good husband for he was a baker and then she found out after your brother was born that he had just another situation what was that he has a wife it wife and what and kids actually and many children and he also had a wife who got a little bit angry when she found out that he had a girlfriend with the baby right and what do they usually do when they get angry in Haiti Well they try to eliminate him in different ways and one of the common way to use is to put a curse on you or try to do evil against you so Voto curses are very very common you almost. I want to get to know people very well in your country because if they get angry that is very common isn't it and so they put the Buddha curses on you and they probably also told you that. That anything that would happen bad that would mean that the curses were working so why don't you tell us a little bit about your arm and how that what happened to it. I lost my arm when I was four and I have and I fell and I broke my with sed and my grandmother on your right arm which you were right handed at the time yes and I thought that if my mother knew my mother would be stressed or even most stressed I should say because she was in poverty in she didn't need bills and yes in and my grandmother decided to see if my arm could be fixed or could be healed without letting her know and unfortunately we went to the leaves doctor which we call herbal doctor and they tie in my arm with some stuff in it and the blood could not secure late to the point that my arm became green and after fourteen days of not being able to remove that it broke the basically the arm by and so when it died you had to have your arm amputated as fast as possible to save your life and you had to be taken from your grandmother's it was six hours away from the city all across the valleys and cow passon out in the dark and they had to get there so it was a very long excruciating trip so you got to the hospital they had your mom there because she needed to see that she had to make decisions about having your arm removed she was fearful of having your arm removed because why well the two I said one of the main reason was is because how the society will look at you and how. Because at that time to even today in most most of the kids who have a physical disability or any in the cap. Haiti in Haiti they are this owned by their parents and the reason is that there is such a terrible time of surviving there that means that the kids that are well get the food and they get the education and kids who are handicapped are either beggars they are really not allowed to have schooling so your mom had great fears with you and taking care of you and feared about what would happen in your future that would be normal Yes. What did your dad think when he well immediately when bugs of my mom had to make a decision because they said if I stay any longer I could die because the infection start to spread and that touch my heart or it got blood get into my heart I could even be killed I could I could die so when my father heard that I have one arm basically they have to make a decision now at one time he was very proud of you because you looked a lot like him and he thought that you know after all you were his kid he was very proud of you and he even treated you very kindly but when you got handicapped things were completely different yes because he told my mother that I was not his child therefore I am my mom child. So he completely disowned you and he wasn't only. He was an alien kind about your handicap he also told your mother something which is very awful about taking your kids out in the boat Yes And one of I mean the thing that's was really terrible too because my mom we did not really go to him like that often to hospitals or because my mom was too but one time my mom went to him and probably asking for support for us and he told my mom that one of my mom just went all of us me and my older brother went to the middle ocean and the boat an entire extended island they can and don't oversell into the coming to him all the time. So he was ready to get rid of them and he. Now how did that make you feel about first your grandmother who did that and put that had that man put that rope around you and then around your arms to the monster arm and then you also had a dad that disowned you how did you feel about that well at first. I never would put myself in a solution to blame people and one thing that happened to survive is God is in control I always believe if something happened to me today or for some reason God knows why and I first I wonder when when I lost my arm I used to blame I first blame my cousin but I took that out of my mind for some reason and the reason I started to blame tried to blame someone else was because I was trying to be like all the people and when kids like you try to. Make fun of you and you start asking questions but one thing that. Strong was you know I believe God is in control so if that happened to me I mean I think God will make a way and that helped me also to fall to fall given and to try to be happy in and out you know the thing to I could not be in. If I have something against someone too and I would i can when we member when I was even middle school when other kids said they are not my friend I will cry. So you were Poland in your school you had a little bit a little bit you went to school you went you got to go to a handicap school and that was a real treat to be in a handicap school because there wasn't a lot of places for children with handicaps so when you were there you had one time you heard on the street you'd heard music what was it you were hearing a parade and what you hear Well I heard wind instruments some of them with trumpets of course if it was very loud and I would definitely notice it and also I I heard a lot of this mint. Some reason I was we're trying to so you were excited knew but you thought a boy like you could never claim because you were in poverty and that would be a lot of stress on your mom but you went to the school and every day the kids would depart and you were left in the classroom alone where were they going while the going to music proc to the music to music practice. Musical to musical instruments and you were left behind Yes I was left behind because so even though you were in a handicap school what did they tell you what they told me that I could not play because I need to arm to play Mr and so did you ask them a couple of times that year well I did not stop them and I think I could quit actually asking but I did not because I faced the same issues before because people usually used to tell me that I could not do things and when people tell me that I could not do something for me it became like a challenge and I remember many other. Things in my life when I was younger I always tried to compete with kids like my age and so that gave me confidence that I can and whenever they told me that I could not and I start to think about ways to prove them wrong so Doc keep. Pushing me to keep asking them every day any time that I had a chance I keep asking us what can actually you know. So you did that several times a year and then the next year you did that several times a year and then the next year he did that several times a year and then the next year you did that several times a year and you kept getting denied but one day what happened one day there was another guy he's a music teacher too but he he was there and he said well you know I think you should let him play I think you can play the trumpet even want to play let him try. And and they gave you this really Kristie just trumpet I wish if it was. But there was no not any instrument to we're left to me but because I keep asking they find something that they never use and they say OK well this is the NOW show us how you going to play it and I show them how I'm going to play it and because when they told me that I could not I start thinking about when I can use my five fingers if I use my baby finger to hole in my thumb hold the trumpet I still have two finger but although I could do that but still my forefinger would have to be really quick but he will be connected with my the finger twins and the twins so I decided to make some some stretching my arm my fingers like this so when they give me trouble I make it work. And you continue to practice you practice during the lunch and this is a hungry boy who didn't always have something to eat but you continued to practice and you it was because you couldn't take it home you practiced wherever you could as much as you couldn't till you had to go home and race. Pretty soon. And pretty soon you were playing the trumpet so well that you actually were teaching your fellow friends and students there at school. And then pretty soon you were teaching you also playing in the Prince orchestra Yes I was principal to but then and also I play Oh I play for the Haitian civil time President and play a solo is with nationals choir and all those things so in a very short time he was playing as a soloist even for the big international choir that came to visit so. One day your mom came to see you it can't do you mind if we tell that some of the stories you don't always feel comfortable with me sharing but we're. Talking about forgiveness your mom came to see you and you were playing and you I don't know was a concert or something I had a concert I think that same day that was a problem. But I stay in that camp because I was like a music camp. And when your friends saw your mom I don't know how he knew that was your mom and did you see your mom. I did not see her at that time but I think she wanted to see me to a point but she ask. Me and then I mean they can even see that's my mother because we like. Having you know that's right that's right I said about when it's human my hair curls and then we look more like OK But anyway so use your mom was there and somebody somebody said Aren't you Carlos Miller what happened when she denied. It. And you see why would you think she would deny that you were a child well many reason. And I say I usually blame myself on the My mother told me not to play myself and I always push my mother I used to push her. To do things for me as a mother I want you to do this why why not you see the other kids the parents are like this the parents. But. She always tried to please me and she feel like maybe if I said that I am his mother and people might look at him bad because what happened at that time to my mother did not have a lot. But she used to sacrifice herself like. Not only to feed us she will probably not even dress well to use the money to buy food to feed us so she was very self sacrifice. But it's unfortunate I at that time I could not understand it but we're living on. That thinking I said well I know my mother did not today that day she did not but we were all it was bad how that happened but I know that she basically sacrificed herself and whenever she could not even buy like a nice clothes on is because she was trying to say so that you can fit in in that situation too she always tried to make us. To be in the top high although she did not have any so for that I think that's why she said that when I ask her why she uses as it told you that I say that. I know because someone asked me someone come and tell me that well your mother come here. So did you feel that she was ashamed of you or she was afraid of embarrassing you know I meant that she did not she was not afraid of me I knew that she was Will part of me and many ways but she was visibly ashamed the way she is in looking. So she was a rough disciplinary and yet some beatings from her and then when she married your stepfather you got some beatings you said you got bloodied quite a few times. But you had no malice against your mother why is that because you know. I mean at first I mean I can say that my mother loves me no matter what she will put her hand on fire to me I know that one hundred percent and I know that was all my good and so even if it was not for my good because some of the people I was not doing things for my good but I still love them because why. For me I think having anything one against some Once you will never be in peace I can remember like people Wendy hurt me and to try sometime Usually when someone hurts you and the person feel ashamed that person will try to go away from you. And I could not stand that so my mother I know there's no way I would give her I would give her all the time because I know she loves me so you forgave her How about your stepfather he did some terrible things to you he did terrible things to your mother and he neglected you boys so how was it that you forgave him well that's a good question and I think for me what is the most important in this line is because I think about things I have done to God. And I know God always forgive me and I think it's a privilege if I can forgive someone else if I can try to raise what someone did to be wrong and to forgive that person too and for him I think I'm not God And if if there's something more the person did to me I have to smile with him. Because when you do good you heal so how did you get an attitude that God would be with you and that he loved you and that you need to forgive people and and that you need to help hold not hold things against people how did how did that happen well you know sometimes I face different issues do in my life and I would member. It's probably experience with God too because I would sometimes when I challenge for him I ended up I I was Shannon's a lot too and sometimes because when people will make fun of you in you will see all the people have some advantages that you cannot we have and you start asking yourself why me did I choose to be this way did I choose this but I will remember one time I faced the issues but I never talk to anyone about it but one time what I used to do I will examine myself and went though far so you would take a breather you take a breather Yes and I will stay in some areas alone will gun in and asked question I pray and sometimes I even cry and say why why why me. And after that when I come back I'm normal and discuss this with God but. What I will. Things happen in your life oh good reason that you don't know because God loves you too much to I mean to put you in a situation that you cannot handle and there are many situations we don't even have time to go into in Carlow you had people in the street that were playing with metal sticks and hit you in the eye and they were afraid that your eye would be lost I'm you also had a situation where you ran across the street to play with kids and you ended up in the street and you think that maybe you fainted because you hadn't eaten that day and when you woke up tires were going right by your head people thought you had been killed and there were many things and a lot of people would look at them and say wow that's because of the Voodoo is really working actually even your stepfather's mother hated your mother and she feared that she was being poisoned and she did food on her there was a lot of stuff around but your religion kept you strong and you had a. Experience with Christ that you pulled from You'd also memorized scripture as a child all of those things seem to make you stronger you. I know that you became an Adventist when you were eighteen and he looks much younger than he is and. You didn't have the proper clothes for church what was that about well I did not have clothes because I could not afford them. But I for as I will not stop going to church but later on I stopped thinking because people. Sometimes they don't even know what you're going to talk about you look at you know and again whoever is in this situation will feel uncomfortable so to avoid this I wouldn't buy me. Several Sabbath I do not go to church because I don't have. Clothes that people will agree with was that when you were without shoes Yes I was at that time too because I were at the time I only had one pillow shoes and which I use on if if for example I kneel people and my butt can even see my feet and the soles of your feet were complete Yes And but I didn't have any glasses you couldn't see no. And so I stopped I didn't go to church but thankfully someone come and visit me and asked me I said well you know I am and I keep the South was still except I didn't go to church because of this reason but after that I decide to say you know what I'm not going to church when I'm when church anyway so we have to realize that when we worship it's for God not for other people and what they say or how they act but you didn't have another problem you found love with a young girl at church and you had an elder a head elder that you really cared about and he actually called you his father or he called your son and you were really close to him what happened. Well that will change not on till after I did this girl. Her father was not too happy I mean I expected that to although her mother had no problem with me because I want him and I will remember father used to say to one of the God I know as a woman this guy's very smart he I mean I even he even went to the school that my to the school that I went to to see how I had good grades and he saw that I had really good grades so he seemed to really care about you yes but one time he went to the school that were my group my ex-girlfriend. And he stopped looking to the director because that's first it was the director of the school and do you know what happened is you know the card is that in my daughter and he says Are you kidding me. Is that is that true and say yeah you see why there isn't he go to to events it's all in in a cup school or some way he can find him to come in and like him like him and get girl like him and her mother was shocked because her mother was an avenue. And was shocked to hear that from and the first thing her mother told me is that you know Carlo I mean you know that I don't have any problem with you but people in your church don't like you so why you say that and then. She mention you say well this is what the FIRST ELDER they didn't like you because your handicap Yeah they didn't like you because your clothing they didn't like you because even mention anything until she said well this is what this guy said about you this is what he said and what he said and I didn't expect that to hear that from him and it was very hurtful because it was somebody special it was hard for me I mean I can still remember I was in church because I was that happened on Friday I remember I was in church on Sabbath in one could not stop by I quite all all the service. And I kept watching him and people asked me if I don't want to explain my my life with people and I said we're going to be fine but I feel like bad to not talking about so I of the church I ask him if he can we talk a little bit and he said Cut I mean even has. Told me his son still and I said yeah. This is what you said this is what you said I don't feel happy with it that's that's why you see. Me and then he denied it. And not only. My ex-girlfriend mother told me that he said it also might go on was that. This is. So he lied to you and it did hurt the relationship and hurt her parents' relationship with us about. That did not hurt it actually the first thing that came to mind. Honestly I say well you know what I'm not coming to the church anymore. And that's the that the that was the thought that came keep circle my brain as it will you should not come to this show because those people. They don't like you based they try to fake it with you they don't even even the the show they just want to pick up and sit with you because I used to play trumpet for them all that you Sabbath and every time. And I said well you know I keep thinking about us who are you know what I'm not in the Church for them. I'm a church to save my life to have that who will listen she got into my soul so therefore whatever they say is the business that's not much so one of the things is even though things are really bad all around you keep your focus on God and know that you're going to church for him not for the people that were being very discouraging. But your stepfather was really something he married your mother he actually is the one who introduced you to the seven then this church but within a very short time but a living in that one room house with him and your mother and all of your pretty soon brothers and sisters he started messing around on your mother having an affair having several affairs your mom actually got into a big rally with one of the girlfriends he kept you going to seeing some of these girlfriends to just he just did a whole lot of things and he left the church but you still stayed you stayed for the right reason which is to add and you really felt that was really important and then one day when you were at the handicap school and you were staying there by the way there was not enough economics so that he could stay home he ended up getting pushed out to other Paley's to stay with including an aunt who was quite a pistol she was another one who like to beat you but you still have forgiven her and you even helped her these days yes it's amazing how many people you helped even though. They were not always. Mind you but you're fat your brother came to the handicap school to see you and told you one day about your mother and what was that. My mother left the house which is like a something usual that we know but never come back even at that not even that night that was unusual so my mother my brother said so yesterday she left and she never come back until today really and then come back even when talking about the next one not even even today here and in and we start. Finding formation in prison and. Hospital in to try to see if we could find her body and we could not find her body even today there are many things called coup de tat as which is where they have uprisings in their country and people are shot and killed in fact one time you are there's no bathrooms in the homes in Harlow went several blocks to the public restroom and on his way back there was a soldier with a gun pointing out everything and he was looking at you and he said miraculously the Lord must've covered his eyes because he didn't see Carla and then he went around the corner and Carla went home and found out the next day that many people had died in the streets that night hundreds of people had died. Thousands of people and mothers children fathers etc And this is what they expected to happen to his mother is that there was another uprising and over there they don't call you they don't come to your house they just bury the bodies so you lost your mother and how what did that leave here oh how many brothers and sisters we are six so I have possibly how young. They were very young because. I think about time my younger brother was. Five. And that meant you all had to band together and try to find food your. There had been working on the street as in like selling clothing some day should have prosperous times and other times she didn't but it was really hard and so now it's all up on you guys. And the Lord still blessed you so you went to a camp a summer camp where you were doing music and somebody from Mott college in Flint came in and they saw you and they offered what they offer to come here in a cultural exchange program a community college so it was like a student exchange and so then they brought you and it was what was the day that was generally fifty thousand and ten so you came in the middle of the winter and you came with all your warm clothes and your mittens and you hats and scarves right because I come in the in the SO cold country where a mother that's right and it was it was called Country you said you saw people at the airport and they were all in these coats and you wondered why they were wearing those coats yet find out actually I knew why they were the wore them but the problem is I did not have one so I would not be able to find one and do because they will not sell them why they needed four and so they put you into this warm family where they helped you with currency and food and clothing Is that true I was not in the family we were like five who came to the program and then they put us in a house a just a big house and you had to kind of fend for yourself apartment action apartment OK And you had been accepted into the program you didn't think you were coming in January you thought you were going to come like in May That would have been a nice introduction However the Lord was with you Carlo what happened one week after your rhyme I was the big earthquake that happened in Haiti in general twelve basically the same did following week in the same day like Jews they this week I came in and the following week next Tuesday it was the earthquake identically one week later and. What happened to the school where you were practicing music and doing things and would have been practicing probably that day for a big music festival it was destroy and how about the people tons of people were killed and that and so you really feel that the Lord lost you so you were in the Flint area and you were playing music and sometimes you would go to different churches and one of the churches that you were really be friended at was. It was Grand Blanc and you were at Grand Blanc somebody was an alumnus that came to visit from Michigan State and they asked you had you ever played for anyone at Michigan State Yeah actually I took to the last week she menu of a talented Why don't you go in Michigan State. And I wasn't I mean I did not know exactly if I could so I say well why not but I never did anything and one day she came she called me she said Cardo guess what I talked to the trumpet professor I told him about you he's so excited he want to hear you play so you play and and he was impressed and what happened he was impressed he said well I don't know your goal but if you ever would like to consider to audition at Michigan State I am sure that all the faculty will be trill to give you a full light so you got a full scholarship at Michigan State University. And it was hard because you know you don't have parents if you call for a different you know tuxedoes and instruments and books and food so even though you have all your school paid for you needed some room and board Well one time we were in New York City and somebody because you often got what you called gigs. Musical opportunities and you had a gig in New York City and somebody suggested what Karl I'm going to go downtown met. And I'm going to see where. Would you like to go with me I would like to introduce you to Wynton Marsalis have any of you heard of him and went in Marseilles when the most popular prompters right now OK So you went down to see him and what happened. At first and give his friend who introduced me to him to play his trumpet and he is France and Carlo you try it so I play in and from that point I was playing I was trying to. Think I was. Playing his trumpet as well as being nice and and he turned his minute like this guy. And from that point we see we talk a little bit we exchanged contact information and he promised me that he would be really interested to work with me and but I email him never. Received any e-mail back and the follow I think the following year and one of his friend who I met again international trumpet guild where I was playing. And sent me a text a card oh we're going to be in Michigan and make sure that you come backstage I think when will like to see something like this and I said OK sure and I come a bit early I went I was watching them for the. Dress rehearsal and went in see me and I said I remember I met you last year would you might play for me today today after after the concert essay sure she too nervous to play for well I was actually. Because he is Wynton Marsalis. Because you know he acts I know what Marsalis is a one of the most. Talented musician trumpet who can master jazz and classical with no difference actually. So at the end. I play for him after everybody left because it was very late but he told me even if it. Is late wait for him so I would for him. After that he give me a drive home have his driver drive me home and chauffeur eleven. But after I play for him he has missed specific question which I did not know why he said well if I would like to help you how do you think I can help you. But now as a musician the first thing that came to mind maybe ask him to work with you because he is famous. And I said well you know I think maybe you have lesson with you that will be. Great for me but I think about I said Well again you live in Manhattan and I live in Michigan is going to be very difficult he said yeah that's true and and also he apologized I apologize because I did not respond to your e-mails because I was so many emails per day so I basically don't. And I said well I don't know what to ask and in. My mind I say well I should probably say my school is so well in about my school and immediately when I said immediately when I said that he said So are you in school I know I say no I'm supposed to start in January and he said Well give me I just as much as I said well I'm not sure I think it's a probably about thirteen thousand dollars for the woman board because I have a full wife. It will give me I just send you the check. So for four years when Marcellus has been sending him a check and paid all of his room and board. And Carlo just graduated from Michigan State in May. You can all come to his graduation party July tenth. So anyway that's been very exciting you got really excited about so winning and you went to a man you know any of you doing a manual some of their manual classes and you got really excited about it you know you have some people here that manual with you. Yes has remarked how it's OK. So anyway you started giving Bible studies and you've been successful did it well I should say God has blessed you in bringing souls to the kingdom you've brought in six from Michigan State. Aren't they from Michigan State. Yeah and then you I think you had one hundred Bible studies that you asked for this last year and hasn't been easy at Michigan State there have been times when they have been very angry because you wouldn't practice on Friday nights or even Sabbaths you even had to miss one of your big opportunities in New York City where and kind of the hall. And they said well there's other people that are add knows that will work on Sabbath but you decided not to and you kept serious about that. You love ministry you love soche I mean you love to be evangelizing out there you love giving Bible studies and you're good at it and you would love to do that more than anything but you had an opportunity that came up and you just can't seem to. Let it go what would that be well first I was praying us to sort out God can open doors and close the door and since like only one door open at the last minute which is even impossible because to have those opportunities you have to audition and you have to be really really good special days a little competition for it to win there's usually only one position like this and you got it yes and in Usually they will take doctoral student not master's in for some reason. I I said even videos I I was not sure so I say I'm not going to send that may be difficult things I sent stuff that I play in church except a couple songs that was already on my doubt very technical that was already on mine and when I said that and they were winning really happy and they decided to give you know suspension teaching assistant position at. It's that university So Pennsylvania State University has got a full ride for a master's he's studying there in the fall and he will be teaching as well so he gets his teaching assistant so he's going to be able to go there in the fall wasn't exactly what you wanted but but God is good and he's been watching over your steps and I thought I'd have him play you some music would that be OK. I also tell you before I started should I say I invited Carlo to come home for Thanksgiving dinner. And the first year when I called him to give him a ride he told me what was that you told me. He said I double booked and I can't come home with you know. Like well OK I just saw him and I thought he probably could use a place to go home so whole year went by a whole year went by and then I invited you again and this time you felt so guilty you decided you had to come over. And that the rest is history now is my son. My husband and I are mother and father. Well I can ice talk Will you're not there. How this scene he loves it when I when people ask because he doesn't look that age but remember that when you're in poverty you're out of school and you're trying to go places and you can't always finish your schooling by the way in Haiti schooling is not free you have to pay a lot of money for your testing and that's what he's seems to be doing for his brothers and sisters is trying to pay for to get them to school so they have a chance out there so Carlo they want to know how old you are. HARLOW just try on May fifteenth turn the same day that he graduated thirty three years old. Could that be. I keep telling when he gets worried about things you know you're going to look your age one of these things. When we when it comes to forgiveness we're to reflect God's character Marina. Kalash and three thirteen says bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another can you imagine I said at the beginning of the week the reason I was thinking about Carlos' My mom always said if you think something is wrong there's like somebody who's suffering a lot more than you and there's always somebody out there were to bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances and forgive as the Lord forgave you if we don't forgive others and we don't feel that they're really worth forgiveness right. Keep bitterness away we said bitterness begins with what I'm forgiveness or anger and it turns into bitterness when we hold on to it and bitterness brings disease haying and it also grows negativity I have people come in for counseling I'm a counselor in Lansing and people will tell me about their parents and what happened and how angry they are and it's like they hold that same thing that went on with their parents it's amazing how we can spew it and we can make it like a disease for our whole family and those around us when we forgive it's for I motional hell not for God's other way we I think well you know we're doing this for God but God wants us to be hell and he wants us to do better than we're doing and he wants us to have a stable life and when we can forgive people it's a wonderful thing it's a relief for us. So we really need to do ourselves a favor and forgive what was and I said something the other day and I said to you I'm really angry about that and you said all Mother don't do that you're going to lose your eternal Hell I mean your eternal life and you know what if we have a lack of forgiveness we don't want to lose our return. In a life doing. It's so important mark unleavened twenty five and twenty six and whenever you stand praying if you have anything against anyone forgive him and let it drop which in the Amplified Bible says leave it let it go in order that your father who is in heaven may also forgive you of your own failings and shortcomings and let them drop isn't that wonderful. Right but if you do not forgive me there will your Father in Heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings so if you cannot forgive and somebody you are missing the umbrella of God's grace over your buying. No other thing is that Satan can get advantage over us if we don't forgive. And says to be quick to forgive because the longer we hold onto it the uglier it gets. And God has commanded that we forgive it's not a choice we really need to forgive. We need to make sure that we're not bringing it up any more people say well what about forgive and forget while we have emotional lives and we can see things in our minds and we may not forget but we really need to forgive people say well I don't know how I can forgive people because I'm sorry I don't know how if I forgiven someone because I still think about something well the Lord it's like an onion isn't it and every time there's another piece come out just as Lord forgive forgiveness for that you remember you remember all the different pieces of it from different ways there are times when we do not want to forgive Here's a quote however sorely they have wounded us this is from Ellen White we are not to cherish our grievances and our and sympathize with ourselves over our injuries were to pardon all who have done evil to us. Sometimes we think well I have to heal first and then I'll forgive we need to forgive no merit or words Forgive quickly forgive freely forgiveness means to excuse a fault to absolve from a payment to send them away can't. Will the STO favor unconditionally do you not spend your life paying in collecting debts Matthew eighteen twenty five says that others cannot always pay for what they need. Forgiving may sound really outrageous but here's one of the things that we need to do and it will help us if we can forgive we can pray to God to help us to want to forgive people we cannot always forget forgiving doesn't always mean that but it says in Kalash NS I'm sorry in Christ object lessons shouldst thou not have compassion on the fellow servant even as I've had pity on me. And so here I'm going to say this at the end free at last free at last thank God almighty free at last to forgive is like putting a fifty pound pack down after a ten mile climb up a mountain to forgive us to fall into a chair after a fifteen mile marathon to forgive us to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. To forgive us to reach into your hurting past and recreate it in your memory so you can begin again to forgive us to dance to the beat of God's forgiving heart it is also to ride the crest of love strongest wave our only escape from history's cruel on forgiveness our only passage to the future is the miracle forgiving. Well it's been a really good week with you thank you for coming to my seminar and I hope that your mental health is going to be better because you did come and that your self-esteem is going to be looked at through the eyes of Christ and that hopefully you'll be able to give the forgiveness that you need to do to other people if you've been in some way motivated to do that thing but stand in will have a prayer. Loving Father we thank you for the gift of your son came to this hour and suffered so many things on this earth at the hands of humans like us Lord things that we suffer are usually pretty minor compared to what your son went through and Lord we pray that you will give us the resilience we are inspired by stories of Carlow and other people who have been able to get through some of the things in this world we know our time on this earth is so short not to be overly focused with day to day but Heber eyes on you and to know that Sunday we're going to be in a perfect world made new of you enjoying your time together with us and thank you Lord for giving us a can't meeting when we can get this revival in retreat. This media was brought to you by audio a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse if you would like to listen to more servant leader Visit W W W audio verse or.

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