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Logo of Michigan Camp Meeting 2016: The Harvest is Great

You and Your Self-Esteem

Laurie Snyman

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Recorded

  • June 12, 2016
    3:30 PM
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I thought we would go through self esteem today and I'm going to divide it into a list different topics one is the psychological. Way of looking at how our upbringing impacts us the media and how that has impacted us from television to movies to radio. Newspaper masculine versus feminine because there are ideas that have come up in our society that has impacted us as a nation regarding what a man does and woman does and what the perspective is and what that how they still fill it I think it's too loud out here. We're going to have to close it I'm sorry. And if any of you die please let me know somebody next to them so that. And then we're going to talk about how possessions many times people think possessions are what make them important and then we're going to end it with God's perspective so hopefully you brought some of your Bibles because that will be very helpful. How many of you you don't have to put your hands up just think about it have ever had a family member or friend say something very unpleasant about who you were what you looked like or to somebody else that you didn't want them to say that to. Have you ever had something that you wanted to do very much so you really were hopeful that you could get it accomplished and then you didn't finish it. I would say that or maybe a teacher said something about the way that you were processing things or didn't do something lots of people have heard do you know they're so they're so good or they're so smart but they just don't you know put themselves into their work or whatever. And if you answered it yes to any of those probably those things have started to impact who you think you. Because that's exactly what happens everyone in their life has encounters and disappointments and frustrations and it contributes to how we see ourselves and how we value ourselves. We all have some form of self-esteem whether it's positive or negative anybody can tell me what positive self-esteem would be. Just a fast one. Feeling good about yourself seeing yourself in a positive light actually liking your so negative would be what. Disliking the opposite don't feel good about yourself feel disappointed be a frustrated. Not good enough and how does it impact somebody when they have low self-esteem. It can go into depression what outs suicide that would be like the terrible major issue but another thing is the way that you cope the way that you see things your attitude can all be very much impacted by your self-esteem. Most of esteem is tied with poor coping skills poor attitudes poor followthrough limited success in school and relationships in their work. It impacts how you feel about the world isn't it just kind of gives you hopelessness. It's amazing that people don't always know all about you but low self-esteem person will often remind people about all the bad things about them oh you probably don't like me because when they go really I didn't know it was an issue. It is a lifelong process it often begins in childhood. If a mother or father neglected you and we have a lot of fatherless families now actually sixty to seventy percent fatherless families. So even though they really had a significant mother in their life they still feel the pain of that watch for in your churches these children are hurting inside and they really are comparing themselves with what they dream is the right thing and they're finding out that actually kids who are neglected are having more self-esteem problems and those who are having physical abuse at the hands of a parent. People in life send you messages and opinions and how they think you are and they tell you whether they like you or they don't like you or they tell you can tell whether you can join number if they want to be around you or if they look away when they're here talking all of that gives us a little thing in our mind about if we feel that we're important or significant. We all want to feel significant Don't we can humans always meet our needs. And they won't. We can be sure of it because humans are humans right the only person that we can really depend on is God. Women have also been hoodwinked about false facts there is Betty for a day and you member who she is women's lib asst she wrote The Feminine Mystique redefining the roles of women she says that they're so angry because they've never been you know treated the correct way and they limit your roles of who you are and what you can do and do none of the advertisement you come a long way baby and my dating my so what were they trying to show. They were talking about what they did is that women never wanted to smoke at that point in life it was considered ladylike so they tried to come up with a advertising gimmick to make it look like now that they've arrived in that they can they no longer are doing dowdy things like household chores and things like that. But now they can smoke because they have a ride and it was one of the most successful cigarette campaigns ever people started taking up smoking and they started to sell a lot of Virginia Slims that them point. At one time. And I'm just going to go through this. Next to those ads there were things about dowdy women that were scrubbing floors and all kinds of things there was just a lot of stuff all sudden I'm thinkin that I might have. Grabbed the wrong talk here let's see what that be interest you know this is the right one just looks different to me isn't that how that goes home throughout the years T.V. and media show that passe where it women's roles were you know you can't do dowdy things like laundry and taking care of children they were trying to say that you had to have a career remember all the T.V. programs like Murphy Brown Mary Tyler Moore It was like getting out in the world and doing things so they were trying to say that if women did those dowdy awful things they really hadn't grown up and so women started thinking Am I really important person if I don't do certain things. Remember back then also this is fifty years ago Chastity was considered a virtue now it's like you know if you don't have experience you're shameful right babies were born to committed parents mostly fifty years ago what is it now. Actually somebody was just telling me can't I don't think it was somebody in this room there so I mean that seventy five percent in their area where their wife works in the maternity ward are from children who have had no father involved or have a have a boyfriend that isn't committed really sad isn't it. Forty percent of our children see this kind of lifestyle and thinking that this is feminine this kind of lifestyle also says that forty percent of the children tonight this sleep will have some male in their house that they're not related to so what does that also put a big risk at sexual abuse. Fifty years ago marriage was considered for life. How does that change now. Six weeks actually the highest growing segment of divorces within the first two years of marriage and that's. Yeah. It was uncommon to have Kilmer sexuality gay and lesbian issues and now it's very very common and it's trying to become a household word supposed to have bathrooms now that are accommodating us right we've come a long way haven't we baby yeah. How about men. Men if you look at the literature and how men are acting when you when you talk about rapping in the movies etc What is glorified for men. Violence and abuse. Actually men are didn't. What it devalued like Raymond's Yes like the wife is so smart and the man is just like an accident that he's in that household and so men have been demean and so what has happened is that men have risen up and they've been trying to become more masculine by using violence substance abuse and fathering children that's a big deal in our society. I had somebody who came in for counseling she told me that her father was inventing Harbor and had thirty four children now with one mother that I mean of all of them had different mothers and she said I really didn't get to know my father. Other And she said and I she said that's pretty common over there. And it is that way in many countries Ireland and somebody came here to can't meeting it's been working in Ireland and they told me that the majority of children do not know their fathers and that the fathers really believe in the more you can father the better it's a big deal so what we see is it's kind of like a. Responsible thing I just want to have father children have no responsibility so you see masculinity and femininity have gotten really mixed up and that has impacted our self-esteem too we just don't really know what we're supposed to be doing unless we're Christians and then that really changes it doesn't. Yes pornography that's a huge issue women that get misused and abused there's no commitment to them it's a one thing one time playing. Men because they feel so on empowered they can feel very powerful when they look at graffiti and so there has been a rapid increase in our society I probably don't need to tell you that it's everywhere. I mean Probably you've heard about it that women are coming forward all the time talking about husbands that are talking on the Internet to other people who are engaging in Prague it has it has whitewashed our society in many ways it's really sad and there's violence in that and when you do something small to get the next excitement you always have to make it bigger so we have seen a huge increase in children being snatched off the streets and people being misused it's. Well let's talk about the Bible. The Bible seems to endorse the personality that says. Humility is really important. And we're suppose have good self-esteem How does humility go with that or how about service to others you know putting others before yourself does it make sense doesn't it kind of throw everything around self-denial. Is that just alien to what's going on out there in society servanthood what servanthood mean to you. Does it mean being a slave. You know what does it mean. Serving God serving others having a service type behavior. That behavior according to a psychological explanation can also help a life I'm sorry your self-esteem it can also hurt one's self esteem there are just are all kinds of things Thank you Shelly and all kinds of things that change that so Second Chronicles seven fourteen. Says If my people who are called by my name while home will themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways then I will hear them from heaven and I will forgive their sin and heal their land God is calling us to be humble does that go with self-esteem you see how we have to re formally formulate what psychology tells us what the media tells us it's a very confusing thing isn't it. Saum twenty five nine says he leads the humble and what is right and teaches the humble his ways evidently we have to be humble to attain what God wants us to do so again that might confuse us. First Peter five five. OK this is about servanthood. Likewise you who are younger Do we have any younger people in. Be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves all of you with humility toward one another for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Isn't that interesting you see how this is just like mixes everything up are you getting really mixed up that's what I want you to do is get mixed up so we can clean it up in the end OK but. That's right once pure. The Libyans to five day says have this mind among yourselves which is Yours in Christ Jesus though he was in the form of God could could Jesus have a lord all kinds of things over us you know my father you know that you don't know my father evidently you are just not getting it you could imagine all the things are you know you guys just don't get what I'm trying to tell you you know you are just the most aggravating people could you imagine if I told you once I told you off. You couldn't be as dumb as you could you imagine when you could say Couldn't have said it and yet have this mind among you which is Yours in Christ Jesus who though he was in the form of God did not call county quality was God a thing to be grasped but he emptied him so by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross. Wow. Here's another one First Kings twenty one twenty nine. Have you seen how a habit is humbled himself before me because he is humbled himself before me I will not read in disaster in his days but in his son's days all brings disaster upon his house did you see what he was doing to a happy was honoring him because he was humble. So true Christian self esteem. Comes with humility. Is what it says. Mark ten forty four and forty five and whoever should be first among you must be a slave of Allah for the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give us life as a ransom for many. To more Matthew twenty three eleven the greatest among you shall be what your servant. And full Libyans two three says don't be selfish don't live to make a good impression on others did you hear that. Tell me that again don't make a good. Don't live to make a good impression on others right be humble thinking of others is better than yourself you know there was a psychologist Albert Ellis anybody heard that famous name we all have to learn about him in school in psychology right introducing college ear abnormal psychology Albert Ellis he was in a big seminar and some lady kept putting her hand she was having a problem he could tell she was really having to distressful time and kept ignoring or ignoring or Finally he said yes ma'am and she said what do I do she said all these things that you said I don't know if they can work for me and she said I don't have I have many problems I have problems at home I have problems in my work I'm miserable miserable and she said no I feel like I'm just to the point where I'm going to break in half or I'm going to I'm going to you know go ballistic I think well it was several years ago I don't know if she had that word but anyway and she said maybe I'm having a nervous breakdown I don't know I feel suicidal and he said Ma'am this is what I'm going to tell you he said for all the things that I've learned all these years I'm going to tell you this it's I think that you need to go across the railroad tracks and try to meet the needs of somebody less fortunate. When you get yourself completely amassed immersed in helping work with the council them and he said and then come back to me and tell me how you're doing. So this is a man that was very learned that he's in our textbooks and what he recognizes it doesn't matter how much we talk about ourselves when we talk about all of our problems if we don't focus on helping other people we often won't get better ourselves interesting. Getting our self-esteem correct. We need to respect OK this is what God expects of us we need to respect ourselves because of how God sees us not because of what we have have you ever gone up to somebody and they talk to you about they have a boat and they have a how and they work it into the conversation first two sentences or something like that anybody it's not just me OK or they tell you what they've done and what they've accomplished or what the Griese they have or whatever. What do you think that really they're they're needing. They want praise approval because why. They feel that if you knew what they accomplished or what they have that you would have more consideration of them in some way correct so really. She said they probably want some money for a payment for their boat yes very possible but you've seen people who just have to get that in because they really are trying to please you. I remember when I was pregnant I was twenty six pregnant for the first time and my husband. You know instead of having that little car of yours why don't we get a station wagon back then had wooden sides. And I said why are you saying that he goes well. Because you know we're going to you're going to have a daughter I mean we were about to have a daughter and he said and you know you want places to put all the diaper bags and everything and I'm like. I'm going from that cute little car to a station wagon with wood on this side that you know all washed up. Well did that make me different because I would get a car with wood on the side now I drive a minivan I don't have any kids and I don't care so amazing how you change when you get older right but I was really offended that he said that he said OK Forgive me forgive me yeah I got a bigger car but I couldn't have the one with wood on the sides isn't it funny that something like a car could make me feel so different I have a little illustration it's this is a joke OK because some people don't know when I'm joking so I'm telling you right now I'm about to tell you. If you see my husband and he tells you a joke you won't know it because he doesn't smile when he tells jokes I'm going to smile and tell you this is a joke right. A woman plunged down a roadside ravine and her Mercedes Benz convertible and the car rolled over as it rolled over her arm was ripped off so I know you remember this is not true this is a joke. To tell you that again do I have to go through my speech again OK. When the firemen arrived on the scene they found the woman sitting on a rock she was crying we need to take you to the hospital they told the woman but you don't understand she cried I love that Mercedes Benz and I have thousands of dollars in that car they said ma'am I understand but we need to take you to the hospital you're going to bleed to death because your arm was ripped off in the accident the lady looked at her missing arm and she said Now where is my diamond ring. You. Understand like we miss things because we want what makes us feel important to other people and we often miss what's really important right. We need to look at ourselves. We need to look at ourselves the way God sees us I put down tell them about Debbie at the North American division meeting. I saw somebody have you is it nice to see people you haven't seen for a long time and there was this young girl and we knew each other in another state when I went to school and I hadn't seen her for. Thirty years maybe and I said tell me I'm so glad to see you and she said Oh she said you know I'm a dietitian I have a I have a workbook now and they sell it at the A.B.C. and she said you know my husband's The president of our conference and I went oh oh and then she went. Oh. I might. Think I was going to ask your she had any kids or anything that wasn't important and I just blinked I was so surprised but you know I think about it doesn't matter where you go you can go to church and somebody comes up and tells you about the truck that they fix that we can somebody comes up and tells you about the cakes that they made and how beautiful they were and like they all need people to tell them that things are good if we inside know that we are precious to Jesus now I want you to know that I have certainly bragged myself OK Don't tell anybody OK don't talk behind my back back here OK I have certainly bred and I'm not saying that she's bad and I'm good OK because we've all fallen short of that like that but if I know in my heart how precious I am to Jesus I might not have to impress people and I don't have to work so hard at making sure that they know all about me right I don't have to go when I talk to Kathy let me see check check that I give her all my ten points before I finish my conversation. But there's a lot of stress isn't there when you have to impress people. And by the way it's got impressed. Yeah God says you are saved by His grace not that you've done anything yourself it's a gift of his. We need to respect ourselves also because He created us so I'm saying respect because self-esteem is often called self respect. The Living Bible I see a twenty nine twenty six as how foolish can be he's the patter and he is certainly greater than you the clay should the created things say of the one who made it he didn't make me or the potter who made me as stupid Another words many times the way we are made or the way we are created we have some problems with the right is that the first thing you're going to say to the Lord when you get and have been in flight I didn't like the color of hair you gave me I didn't like the life you gave me or I wish that my body had been a little different like are we going to be going up to the potter and telling him that so did God make us the way we are because that's the way he chose to make us we have a patter back then by the way you're the patrie Yeah she did the patter at women's ministry had your hand any of those Pats get mad at you. And tell you that you made a mob sided or didn't like the lip right or. So you just smash them down and reform Oh my and I think that God can do that to us too OK Any Yeah OK. No that was Isaiah twenty nine twenty six by the way did God make us individual. Snowflakes he made individual even spots on leopards There's no two alike Did you know that zebras there's. No two that have the same markings and he made us completely different from each other is that OK. Mrs White talks about what would it be like if he created the whole world blue would we get tired of blue What if he made the whole rule the world red. Yeah or purple like you can say oh I love purple such a rude beautiful cut but what happens if that's all you see is purple. Oh really. I remember a poem from growing up about Grandpa dropped his glasses once anybody knew that. Grampa drop it's been a long time grandpa dropped glasses once in a pot of die when he put them on again he saw a purple sky purple birds were flying up from a purple Hill purple apples were being ground at the purple mill and at supper time grandpa got as crazy as a loon he got tired of eating purple dumplings with a purple spoon you don't remember. Why is that amazing. It's amazing how the Lord made our brains that's because you're better at shout men because women have emotions and it burns into our brains so don't do anything OK. If we're trying to please others with their looks and the things that we've done. That's called bondage is. Who came to this world to save us from bondage. A man. Yes when we're always thinking about how to impress somebody with our clothes or with our possessions we are true see choosing. To make men happy with us rather than God remember anybody in the Bible that was having a hard time. Thinking about their stuff that they were doing and they wanted to please man instead of God Anybody. How about Mary and Martha. We have to remember when we're doing duties at church it's not for a pat on the back it's not so say that we're really talented it's because we're doing it for God right that's our focus and if we are not reading the Bible every day and getting all of the fresh excitement in our life we'll have holes in our hurt and when we go to church and people don't compliment us will be mad about it right. So very important. X. seventeen twenty four and twenty five said The God who made the world and everything in it is not served by human hands he did not need any of us so another words god did not make us because he needed us he made us because he loved us and wanted to be that amazing. When you adopt a child hopefully that's what you say to them as I chose to write I chose you. Did you think God made us because we he was lonely. It says that in Genesis one twenty six that he said Let Us make man in our own image he already had the company of his son and the Holy Spirit he did not need us he wanted us he chose us and he decided to create us when should think that he would throw the book at us after a while because they were so disappointing aren't we. Yeah when you think you can just see just like shoot out of the air this planet so small to him like you just wonder how he did that. And you think that he wanted he created us because he wanted us just to worship him because he needed to feel important. No he didn't know he didn't do that in Jeremiah thirty one three he said out of his great love he created us he said I have loved you with an everlasting love Have you ever wanted to be loved by an everlasting love. Yeah especially in relationships right people are coming up and talking to me about their children that are. The point in them or their mother that's and disappointing them or their father that's disappointing them and I'm like only can we depend on God because he has the everlasting love so right now as far as we've come why should I love myself as God loves me what is it that he's done for me can you think of anything. Because what Jenna's has he gave us life for us what's another reason so far he created us willingly without any force. What else He redeemed us like he cared enough to redeem us anything else. He's going to recreate a Sunday. There's a song I got a new praise the Lord anybody ever listening to Tennessee Ernie Ford. Oh that's another thing I'm really getting old right it's like that little girl that came into my office and she said that they ate dinner every night and I said you eat dinner every night I said that is really cool with your parents I said this is like I was even hell yet and she said I know I was anybody who's Harriet. And I thought. You know you're getting old when your doctors older I mean younger than you right. You know you know you're getting old when Happy Hour is a nap for a yeah. So anyway there's just a lot of things well it's about that time wake up OK. All right. God created us and that should mean a lot to us by the way first John for it says God is love and because of that love in his wonderful creativity he made us so he could enjoy Yes you ever think about him and join us someday we are going to enjoy him aren't we to we're going to see. I'm with our own eyes. And here's some more key verses love the Lord with all your heart with all your soul and all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself that's why we're supposed to serve it makes us feel better we are God's workmanship ten says created in Christ Jesus to do good works did you notice that he keeps talking about serving other people which God prepared in advance for us to do We talked about coping on Monday about not having any regrets not looking backwards and it said that we were to remember do you remember that we were to remember that God wants us to have clear minds and he doesn't want us to keep going back and picking at all those past things that happened because he's forgiven us and we need to forgive others including ourselves. All right. Genders did God love men. And it was in a very male oriented society at the time that he came is that not true women were seen as what. Baby makers are right. So here was Jesus he was in the just room with the disciples remember all the men. And where was Mary. At his feet. Did he say you know we're kind of all of us are in here maybe it would be best if you went into the kitchen. Did he say you know I don't want you so close to Me want you just talk to me across the way because I don't want people to think we came together tonight but it didn't say that. Did he talk to her like she was important. Did he talk to her about her religious faith no member back then. Where did women get their religious education. And do you think those houses. Put a little spin on that education. I'm guessing they did because they saw it through the you know it says a woman should submit you can imagine what they're saying at the fireplace right but Jesus is an equal opportunities Savior and he loved her just as much as those men and he spent just as much time with her and it tells us that we should see ourselves as Jesus ourselves no matter what other people think Jesus loves us he would have died for us only. And men should see themselves as Jesus saw them correct we have some men here they were given some leadership roles but they weren't to Lord things over women they were too they were not biological accidents as our media shows them today they're not just breadwinners they actually have a significant role in impacting our children do you know that statistics show that if men go to church and show religious interest in their children in a balanced way that more of their children will stay in the church than if only a mother's doing that so we're headed for some sad times aren't we. If he is married and has a Christian home he's to be a prophet in his home he's supposed to represent God to his wife that means he's not surly and boastful he's kind and loving and caring he's supposed to lead out in family devotions encourage private devotions like God showed that men had a very important role do not feel demeaned by our society because it is important that men are in our families as well. How we act when we see ourselves the way God acts I'm sorry the way God sees us when we do not see ourselves through the eyes of God we will act like we have low self-esteem because if you don't feel very important or you don't feel forgiven what would be happening. How can. Somebody display if you don't feel forgiven. Anybody. Sad face two years you have a different countenance you carry a burden on your shoulders don't you when you feel I'm forgiven or hopeless. If somebody is criticizing us if you have low self-esteem because you don't recognize how the Lord loves you you might tend to take everything personal and believe everything because you put all of your faith into a human being instead of God right it's very important when somebody says to you now I don't like Back to you put us in this hot room debate today and I go instead of going well if you don't like it why you just get out or you know you didn't have to come I could say Let me think about that and see how I can figure that out because I need to ask the Lord don't I how did we need to see it from God's perspective. And yes you are in a hot room and you're all very had. A person who is criticize will cope better because they know that the Lord loves them no matter what. Now brought up Carlo in here before you know my new son from Haiti I thought I might bring him in on Friday what do you think if I can grab him you think I should get him in here. He is not here but he's going to come on Friday and I thought maybe I'll bring him in because I said to him when your dad said that you should be dropped off the boat because you were no longer important and his mom should just take him out in the ocean drop him because he was just the you know terrible kid because he's been handicapped How was it that you got over that he said well it's not that I didn't feel bad but I knew that the Lord was my father so how do you do that I'm like really and when his father was found to have a different wife because his mother thought that she was he was hers and they were putting all these voodoo curses on this family. I said So how did you protect yourself so that you weren't scared all the time and he said well we remember a scripture and we kept having to say every day you know what it was that God was doing to keep us safe even though we had he had things where you know sticks were poked at him and kids were bowling him and people didn't want to feed him and when he was trying to get medical help for his stump on his arm a taxi driver said Why don't you just stand in the middle of the street with your mother and put yourself out of you know out of commission and that way you won't have to suffer any more because they asked a taxi driver to get him to the hospital without money and I said So how do you recover from that he said you know the father the Lord is my father I just I just never thought about it I was hurt by those things not going to keep anyone I'm just like how do you get resilient and it's because use Keep your focus on God God loves you and he and he knows how special you are and doesn't matter if you haven't are missing a leg missing or per your brain missing are you still special to God. Why I had to tell you. I had to find one hundred dollar bill out there really hard I found out they don't have a hundred dollar bills in the offering this week. So I had to go all the way to. The natural food store to find a hundred dollar bill. Now this is a hundred dollar bill how many of you like Hundred dollar bills. You know if I gave it to you very happy OK Now let me see. You still one hundred dollar bill. Oh really well excuse me just a minute would you stop and. You have all kinds of stuff on your shoes you've been walking through the Marne your. Just say yes yes. You've been into the bathrooms. OK Could you give me that. Could you hand it. Anybody still want. And why is that. Because it's a value is that now that I'm not planning to give attendee of you. Did you think I was going to give it to you. But why is it that after Ok let me see Chris I heard people do that right so let's Aspin on you still want. So why is it that you still want this. Because it's valuable but what if what if a person has been abused. What if they lost their purse. What if they got a divorce. What if if they had to go to a psychiatric hospital. You see that's how God is right he sees past all those things that we've done but we are still of great value to him it doesn't change right or dirt or smell our dirty shoes nothing changes because God sees us as valuable not telling you where and putting us OK. God did not make no junk that's. By the way when we're criticized what is our most likely reaction. Was That's George resentment and so what we do with that resentment well often want to defend ourselves. And what get offended so when we're defensive it's like we don't want anyone to hurt us right we put this wallet does that solve the problem. How do we solve a problem. Be open and say OK well I could think about that you had. Defensive this is self protection right and show me a relationship where there's defensiveness and I'll show you one where you can't get anything solved another thing that people do is they put a wall up oh fine I'm just not going to talk to you and I'll just pretend like you're not here right is that going to help anything. How about blaming Well you know you think that you're so good let me tell you about you you you did that last week. Doesn't help right. Self-esteem again when we act that way we're showing that we don't see ourselves as God wants us to be God wants us to acknowledge things when we have sinned we have all sinned in my right and when we've all sinned and we acknowledge it that's when he can help grow us right and so if we can't do that with him we often don't do it with other people so self-esteem really impacts us another thing is if we have good self-esteem we won't be as much people pleasers I don't have to make everybody happy except God. When I am a people pleaser Actually I'm playing Kading or whatever because I don't want somebody to be mad at me I say well really Maybe I'm afraid they won't like me and that means I give away all my power to them right. But if you said Kathy I want you to give me that hundred dollar bill and I'm like well you still like me if I don't give it to you and you go no I won't and you go. Right. When we're manipulated by people do you think I like you better when you do that. No So even though I pleased you I was being dissed dishonest because I really didn't want to give it to you I didn't see any reason to give it to you and so now I haven't acknowledged and I can't solve my problem with you Jesus wants us to be truthful and honest what does he say Let your yes be and you're so won't mean what you say and say what you mean. Oh is that. That's right. People pleasers I I want you to know that we all struggle with that even though we're trying to stay in the. The this realm with God because we still have things that we're struggling with we haven't cleaned up all of our pockets and all of our at it and at six addicts OK. You know I speak a lot of churches I have a lot of fun I see a lot of you at churches right. Really how many of you have been at your church OK. And I really love speaking because I love to put things together that I think are going to help people and I get really excited about it and a lot of it is from my worships and I often come with a carload of ladies have you seen that I pick up all these ones that you know have had some troubles or are new Christians or or they spend a lot of time along with their widows or their single or whatever so we have this group that comes and. And I do a new sermon and I get in the car and I'm like. Wait what do you think I'm waiting for. Yeah and guess what. Sometimes they never say a thing. And then I start to get irritated. Yeah well I'm just like you know like I did then that impacts you so and I go so did everything how to how was how was the service today all of the people are friendly I'm like I don't really care that they're friendly that's not what I want to know right. Now and I go through I couldn't do sermon today and they're like oh how and then they change the subject. And the Lord said to me Lori you need to quit searching for their approval because when you and I worked on that sermon it was between you and me and I gave you the words to say and so are you thinking that you need to hear what they think. Well that that said it didn't. We need to not be looking for the approval man doing our self-esteem should say that because God loves me and I'm doing his work he's a blessing whatever I do and it doesn't matter if I did a terrible job or not he's going to work with me on it right. We need to do things for God not for me and. How how about at the end the Bible also tells me that God created my inward hurts. Is an enemy see. Everything about us he knows about our hair how many hairs are on her head he knows about our whistles he knows all about us like isn't that an amazing thing to think that God cares about us all individually does that make you feel good about yourself. It also tells us that our bodies are what. His temple right. Here's another thing. God is faithful he will not allow you more temptation than you can stand and when you are tempted he will show you a way of how to get some place of that you can endure right. Bible says that life is righteous peaceful enjoyed by the way what is God put it in that order here's what I thought. When you give your life to Christ you claim is righteousness then you feel peace and when all sinks in and you realize what a gift it is then you feel joy that's all right. So Romans fourteen seventeen said life is righteousness peace and joy. And realize that the inferiority is God is the devil's way of thinking. All right. Here's a little exercise I want to know Are you awake OK like stretch your arms let's make sure you're all there take a deep breath don't blow it at the person behind you or around you breathe through your nose. OK We talked about a few verses. Ok night can I stop and tell them about you. She she thinks she's getting away. This is my little friend Meghan I was a pastor's wife at one time Meghan was in the hospital from August to December with pancreatitis she's been in a coma her hair's thrown out she was had have a children told that she was dying it was a terrible time the Lord brought in through and I'm so thankful many of you read my Facebook post and that was Megan that we were praying for and she's doing a very good her food tubes are out it was a very traumatic time and she's getting her life back. And I don't need you to hate it and the at the same time. She's my support group right but she did it for like five months I did it for one month so. OK When the devil attempts you with inferiority I'd like you to come up with a statement that you could say because I want you to talk back to your thinking so that makes says either a statement that's true from God's perspective or a Bible verse So here's the here's the thing I'd like let's see who can jump up and answer this one first OK when the devil sends you a thought and says you are not worth anything what would you say when we stand up. Stand up. And you would say devil. And who did it who are you following the example of Jesus in the wilderness correct anybody want to add something you would say when he says you're on worthy. OK go ahead. Yeah well stance so they can hear you because they're way in the back we have a coliseum that is not on that today that's OK yeah that's a good that's another way to say it to somebody else have another one OK. You loved enough yeah you love me enough to die for me evidently I'm not unworthy right because the devil will tell us lies OK. One thirty nine. You know. She said some one thirty nine she found out she was illegitimately can. Conceive. And so she is held by one some one thirty nine witches. He knew where you were from the beginning and you knew your inner word parts etc So you were planned you may not have been by a parent but he knew who you were and you knew you were coming right from the beginning to the end when you would arrive right OK how you got this exercise then now I'm going to get many more answers right. OK. The next thing the devil's going to say is. You weren't wanted by your parents you're probably not wanted by anybody. What was that. At least God wants me right he loves me he would have died on the cross if I had been the only one that's good my parents say I didn't amount to much. When you get do you get these thoughts. Go ahead. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me anything else. God loves you with everlasting Well that's great. OK I robbed a bank and now I feel really guilty about it I know that God could never have meanness Kingdom. First John one nine which is. If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. And cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I'm not attractive enough to live. People feel that way a lot has. Been a lot of girls cut now they're they feel really unattractive and unloved What can you say to them. He created what. He created fearfully and wonderfully made OK Anything else. We were created in His image so better watch out right better not be talking to me about that yeah. He would have died for me even if it was just me as in this wonderful. I have to do good things for a while to earn God's favor because I've been really naughty. He loved us even while we were yet sinners correct anything else. Our Righteousness is like filthy rags and by the way if humans see our faults God sees what. When we are forgiven what does he see nothing he just sees us as beautiful right he separated arsons as far as the east is from the West and he threw our sins into the ocean right and I love that body Hotelling about it so why do I keep deep sea diving and going back and getting them home. I feel all alone. Well as that I will never leave you are for sake you what else. I'm never along God always sees me he. Is alive so I can put my trust in him. Well is that. He is with us to the end of the earth what. He would have died for me if I was the only one do you see how we can talk back to these terrible things that the Devil puts into us to discourage us and to give us Burra low I mean low self-esteem you think any therapist can fix people who are having low self-esteem. I don't think any any therapist can I think that God can solve these things because if we are soaking in his word and we are believing them and we are putting these things in our heart we cannot have anything that will take us away because God is going to keep empowering us God didn't create us as an inanimate object but in the image of God member that that verse anybody go to Adelphi Academy all we got OA OK and I and then the wall was a quote from Ellen whiteness and higher than the highest thought can reach is God's. Ideal for his children and like you can't even begin to think what he wants to do for you right you can't even fathom it. OK then I would like to us to do you think we do you have any questions to do we need to have some questions you had a question I'm going to do that before we end. Where my. QUESTION Has. Come in. And. That healing. Yes. Brain. I understand what you're saying anybody else get that and the other have anyone have a thought. So that she did you hear what she said. She has love languages you know how we have the love languages giving gifts words of affirmation. Having time with someone affection and affection is in touch and then acts of service and so she said I get the scan a mixed up about where it is where I'm hoping for these things but I don't need to have the approval of man saw you have a thought. To make sure they can hear back there. OK just goes. There's a difference between your look language and hopefully you need to survive how about demanding it you are demanding it there is just pure looking. Different and. Says you. Know is it. Still the steam route you please. You won't die you don't get it but you know it's somebody gives it to you so you can. I did you hear what she's saying you think that I thought I was thinking that you know we're supposed to respect and love and serve others so we don't say to them if you don't give me my love language I'm not going to give you your first and many times people will reciprocate when you're giving them love that they often receive you know when you smile right people smile they're. Right. So anyhow like sometimes we get then I like that's like the cherry on the top but we can't demand it or expect it but we hope for. And God is the one who really has to fill all those little holes in our heart because have you ever seen somebody who expected. A man or a woman or somebody to fill all the holes in their heart you know these people they have empty holes in their heart and they can bleed you dry and you cannot wait until they're gone because you are good like taking a deep breath right it's the tick on the dog syndrome the dog may have been really strong but when the to keep sucking his blood the dog eventually dies and then they both die right you have to get balanced and know that where your most of your love comes from and then when you get extra affirmation the way that those Love Languages are that is an icing on the cake I believe you did a good they're good chat have to be cold lead with me here. OK so I keep watching our clock I also know that you guys are dripping hot. So I'd like you to stand up oh you have a question. Well isn't that amazing I'll look it up I don't know where it is in my notes and I will be happy to look for that after class you thought maybe I had my own version of the Bible I do not and probably I if I didn't if I didn't write it down wrong I at least quoted it wrong the number so I don't know but I'd like you to say end up and I would like you to repeat after me something that affirms who you are and I think it's very important and. I want to talk to you about this. And then I have a little poem that I want to close with. OK so if you believe it I want you to say it I'm annoying to. Live I'm loved. I'm accepted. I am his special child. I'm the apple of his eye. He. Created informed me. Before I was born. I have been right with God. He would have died for me only. I have been clothed in glory and honor. I can't even imagine what the Lord could do through me. I have a future so bright. I just want to add my own that I might need sunglasses now. I have a future so bright that the God says we are more than conquerors. God loves me. Unconditionally Is that true and say man. All that we are is because of him that's what we need to recognize it's not because of my talents which she gave me it's not because of my personality that he created my worth is not based on my body shape I'm able to destroy that it isn't because of my family which he placed me and not because of my intellect he allowed me to be on this earth because he wanted me he loved me he created me he knew I was coming he's happy I'm here and because of that we can do nothing apart from him including the way we think about ourselves or else we'll have a deficit Amen. Let's have prayer Lord thank you so much that you love us that you care about us that you know all of our needs and are our problems and that you can strengthen us that you can enable us Help us Lord every time that somebody says something disparaging or discouraging help us not to put that through our brain but to look at the way you want us to look at things help us to have your mind we want to have the mind of God so that we can see. Things in the right reality and Lord we thank you that you care enough about us to call us your children that you want to take us home to heaven and you want to be with us for eternity and for those things Lord we are thankful that we have this self-esteem says that we are worthy to be called your children even though we feel and worthy and thank you Lord for putting us on this earth even though sometimes we don't understand and we don't like some of the things that are going on but Lord I know that you have a plan for each of our lives and I pray that you will help us to accomplish that you're filling in. This media was brought to you by audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse if you would like to listen to more service leave to visit W W W audio verse or.

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