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The Precious Priceless Gem

Amanda Anguish

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  • May 6, 2017
    10:00 AM
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Dear Father in heaven I want to thank you for this beautiful Sabbath even when the clouds come we know that there are beautiful things all around us and we thank you for doing that in our lives and outside of our lives and all around us and I think you for the precious gifts that you give us each day the kindnesses that you show towards us especially on the Sabbath that you've given us the state to rest and to come closer to each other and to you and I ask that you would give everyone here a special blessing as they listen to the words that you're about to put in my mouth and I ask Jesus this mean. Well I will I actually was an attendee here at Advent hope for almost exactly ten years up until two years ago in two months two years and two months ago but short of the first year that I was an Advent hope member I was told that I was dressed like a prostitute. Anyway so the topic that I'm going to be speaking to you about today is the precious priceless Jen and I just told you that short of my first year at Advent hope I was told I was dressed as a prostitute now I kind of set you up there with that one nobody at Advent Hope told me I was dressed like a prostitute I actually went on a mission trip with share him to Rwanda so subtle and anybody knows the savage Rwandan and I was getting up to speak one of the nights and contrary to what we think about Rwanda it was actually kind of chilly during the days and when I was going to speak it was it was not too chilly but I thought you know let me take a sweater with me and I tied it around my waist and I was ready to get up in my translator came. And said You look like a prostitute. And I thought I don't think I've ever been told that before and he said in our whole Sure if you put something around your waist that's what the ladies do when they're trying to present themselves as available and I thought oh no more you don't need to tell me anything else I will take that sweater off. And I took it off and I never put it back on because I didn't want to looking like a prostitute but are we having trouble with the slides OK That's OK. I like slides because they kind of give you a visual I'm a visual learners so I don't know how long we should wait for them. You might want to say hi to your neighbor welcome them to church today and oh there we go. It's OK. So do I have to tell you to move to the next why. Should I just do this oh you're doing it on your computer I don't even have my computer. Oh OK Well there we go OK that was supposed to go with my story so I already told you the story though so now I like you too if you have your Bibles with you I don't even wanna look at that. Turned on Matthew five twenty eight. Did I tell you we're talking about modesty today OK we're talking about modesty today. Don't worry I didn't tell people beforehand I didn't want anybody to leave I know what these talks conjure up in your mind so don't worry you'll like this version of modesty talk so Matthew five twenty twenty eight verses twenty seven twenty eight says you have heard that it was said by them of the. Time that I shall not commit adultery but I say and to you that what's that whosoever look at on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart now any time you put a verse like this up on a screen or tell people to look at it everybody is going to focus on the word lust that's not the part I want you to focus on this morning I want you to look at the word but. I just thought how that sounded. OK. There's only one T. OK so. I wasn't expecting a laugh there. That's OK Sometimes you surprise yourself. It says Thou shalt not commit adultery now the but it means that we've been looking at this first may be all wrong and so we're going to transition to it says but I see and you that suit whosoever look at on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery in his heart and that word already is important because oftentimes we think of modesty as what's on the outside but we don't realize that modesty actually starts on the inside and so I want to focus on that this morning. For out of the Abundance Matthew twelve thirty four says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speak it a good man out of the good treasure of the heart bring it forth good things and in evil man out of the evil treasure bring it forth evil things now last night if you were there I know you weren't all there because it was a much smaller group but last night I talked about something that I do and in my practice and it's called cognitive behavioral therapy I literally teach people how to think that's my job most people come to me because of the bottom two parts of that triangle. I feel the way that I want to feel and I'm not behaving the way I want to act I'm depressed I'm anxious I have any I have all sorts of abandonment feelings inside of me all those kinds of things and then behaviorally I'm not getting out of bed every day I'm using substances to cope with things those are the kinds of things that my clients come to me with but they don't realize said yes I can help you behaviorally I can encourage you to X. or size and how does exercise make you feel well it gives you endorphins it encourages all those feel good chemicals in your body but I know people that do a lot of really wonderful behaviors but they still have things I.E. they still have depression and the reason for that is because of the top part of that train will if I'm going out and exercising if I'm telling myself all these horrible negative things in my head while I'm exercising how much is the exercise actually going to help me if I'm eating a wonderful plant based diet but I'm stressing out about every calorie every kind of ingredient that's in my food is that food necessarily going to do all the wonderful things that the food could do for me now it's not because every positive thought we have sends positive chemicals through our body every negative thought that we have sends negative chemical So they're our body so we're actually counteract the very good things that we're doing if our thoughts are right. And so sometimes you can be doing a lot of really good stuff but you still don't feel good I know people who exercise they exercise we more than I do in very healthy ways but they stress so much they can't lose weight you've all heard of somebody who. Who has tried really really hard to have a baby. And they can have a baby and then they go and adopt and then what happens right after. They have a baby why does that happen because the body is made to have a baby under certain conditions. And if you're stressed the body knows this is not a safe time or safe place to produce a baby or make a baby and so the body after it has the baby goes oh I can relax now and suddenly everything works like it should so I teach people how to think differently so that they respond better with their feelings and also their behaviors and it's a very rewarding career to be in. But of going back to modesty when we think of modesty we often think of these things these are just some things that I picked up from hearing what other people thought not revealing everything super long skirts and long sleeve turtlenecks being discreet simplicity this is a big one patriarchy I hear a lot of this modesty means patriarchy and the last one which is just the most horrible thing ever being out of style who wants to do that to themselves. But what is true modesty if you look at it means things like proffer estimation of one's abilities the quality of being relatively moderate limited or small in amount greater level moderation. Behavior manner appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency or simplicity and the Bible actually the word for modesty in the Bible is coast meals and it means having a well lived orderly life. It doesn't mean all the things we've often been told it means it includes some of those things but it's not the whole of the definition and we. Often lose the whole of the definition when we focus on that word and I don't I don't even like the fact that a lot of sermons focus on certain parts of it that aren't true but these are hidden biblical terms that are related to modesty shamefaced said notice now when we hear the word shame nobody likes to hear that because he wants to feel shame but that's not what originally and meant shame means not bringing attention to yourself sobriety being honorable reverent having regard for others being respectful being submissive I hate that that word is being misused lately that word submissive The Bible says whether we've done it and to the least of these who we've done it and to. God we've done it and to God if we're submissive to the people who have positions that are over us who are we actually being submissive to and that's five local How low for a firmness do you waver between your principles and your values being and when you bring true to principle temper it you know that word just means self-control think he's full hospitable and having a sense of so simplicity about your life. What modesty is not it does not mean that we don't take care of ourselves it doesn't mean you dress from another era if you actually read Ellen White she says you should never be the first to take on fashion or the last to leave it. I know some people who think that they're being modest because they're dressing from many arrows past that doesn't mean modesty because you're actually sometimes bringing more attention to yourself that way and that's not to put people down I'm not judging people based on that I'm saying that we don't always know why they're doing it and remember the heart is the place that God judges. Turtlenecks and sweat it's that's not modesty necessarily sometimes people don't take care of themselves they don't have a sense of self care and they wear those things because of wearing dresses to every gathering and even work there are some places where wearing a dress isn't necessarily the best thing to do it is not women home Lee I'm not only talking to women today modesty You are welcome. We're not talking just about women so guys don't shut your ears off and ladies don't get upset with me because I'm focusing only on you I'm not this is for everyone it doesn't mean closing only modesty remember it comes from the heart and it also does not mean reaching it without love and genuine kindness so if people come into our churches and they're not dressed in the way that we think they should be dress it doesn't mean it's our job to go suck them right because we know better because then what are we missing now we're missing the modesty ourselves. Is modesty only related to women so I just want to give you a few verses on not just in case you're unsure First Timothy three two it says a bishop then must be blameless the husband of one wife vigilant sober of good behavior given to hospitality and have to teach. Titus to two and six says that the men need be sober grave temperate sound and faith in charity and patients and young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. Several years ago when I actually when I first started attending Advent hope I didn't have a true sense of all the things that were important to me and I was in a phase where I was figuring out whether one or not I wanted to wear. Don't worry I'm not going to tell you what to do with the Holy Spirit but I was deciding whether or not I wanted to wear jewelry and I remember I had a client and I probably have it was working with her for about a year and during that time I was going to Advent hope so was trying to be. Respectful to the environment that I was in and I wasn't wearing jewelry because I noticed most of the people around the weren't and when I was in my sessions I didn't I never talked about jewelry with my client or anything but I did talk with her about other things that that were important to her and I remember one of the things that she mentioned to me she was going through a divorce and her soon to be ex-husband had had this huge. Garage full of wine that he had been collecting over time and I remember she was it sounded like she was trying to brag to me the kinds of wine that they had and I did not know what she meant because I don't know anything about wine I did go to now I did go to college at Q.C. so I was in the Napa Valley but I didn't learn anything from being there and so I didn't know what she was talking about and I felt like you know when you go to a restaurant and they start naming all of the meat dishes if you're vegetarian and you're like oh we're vegetarian because you don't want them to have to keep talking about it and explaining it and so I said oh you know I don't know anything about so and then she was like oh OK so we left it alone and then I told her because I was going to be moving on to a different location and I told her that you know I I wouldn't be able to work with her anymore but I could refer to other people and you know I think I'll be good by then and then our last session she said two things to me she said you know I realized I don't have to drink. And I thought oh that's interesting and she said I realize since you don't. Why do I have to drink not everybody has to drink like we don't even have any conversations about this all I did was told her I didn't drink and the other things that she told me that shocked me she said you know I also noticed you don't wear jewelry I remember I told you I was kind of back and forth about it myself and she said I realized you can be beautiful without it. And I know it and I thought to myself wow God I think you're convicting me through this. Sometimes my clients do that I don't always tell them that they're actually counseling me but they'll say things you know my Christian clients will say things and I'll be like oh that's really good I should belong to that one good that you're getting doing so well and so are you things like that but I noticed that as we were talking she had been paying attention and this isn't the first time I've noticed this I had I worked in a group home without risk teens and oftentimes the staff and the boys were Person frenemy and they'd be like oh I'm sorry I know you don't curse and I thought my me with think about that I'm so used to you curse and you know this and even heard of it but people are watching us and the Bible says in first Peter two nine but year it shows a new generation a royal priesthood and holy nation of the kill your people that you should show forth the praises of him who have called you out of darkness into his marble slate we don't realize that we're on a stage I'm on a sting drink now that you all are on a stage to every single one of you and if it's not a stage in front of your peers it's a stage to all the other worlds around us and it's what it's showing what God's doing in our own hearts and how he's teaching us and how he's leading us and he's bringing us out of darkness and into a light and not light whether it's a light shining on you because it's a visible light or it's a. Light that people notice hey you're different there's something unique about you I think that's that's the way we truly show a modest life and also a life that others want to live as well but historically. We often we often glorify it something today called pride you see all sorts of groups claiming pride for whatever culture they're from for whatever sexual identity. They're attracted to but historically private actually equals sin. And the emphasis was on the community building others up Christian principles of recognizing self only relation to what one could offer God as an worship and offer others but today equals self esteem there's a big difference between what pride used to mean and what pride has become in our society there's an emphasis on self building up of ourselves and making sure others see us as unique and worthy of others' recognition and even of God's recognition if you listen to some of the music now it's focusing on how God's looking at me because of how worthy I am. But even some churches have started to change their theology to recognize God in relation to man or even man as God versus man in relation to God. Do you notice the focus sometimes we want so much to be recognized for people to see us that we don't realize actually we're supposed to be a conduit for others seeing who goddess. And I love the message of the same Sure and how that shows up for us we often get told oh the Old Testament no longer has any part in our lives but a whole New Testament keeps focusing back even Jesus references the Old Testament. But I want to share some things that I noticed that are similar between modesty and also the sanctuary message in Leviticus eight it talks about dresses and says and Moses brought Aaron in his sons and washed them with water there's something about taking care of yourself that's important and he put upon him the coat and girded him with the girdle and clothed him with a rope and put the effect on him and girded him with the curious girdle of evolved and mounted untaken there with and he put the breastplate upon him also he put in the breast plate the urn the Truman and he put the new miter Elena's head and also the mire of even upon his four friends did he put the golden plate the holy crown as the Lord commanded Moses and he poured out of the annoying ting Hoyle upon Aaron's head and anointed him to sanctify him there was a very particular style of dress that the priests were to wear and what was it representative of the position that they had working in the same and working for God too but it was also representative of the role that they were taking on as a type of Christ and in telling whites writings she says the Lord's direction was Aaron shall bear the names of the children of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart when he go within and to the holy place for for a memorial before the Lord continually So Christ the great high priest pleading his blood before the father in the sinners behalf bears upon his heart the name of that of every repentant believing soul when we get dressed every day do we think about what that dress represents are we representing our Creator are we represent representing Christ are we thinking about those that were interacting with each day and how they will perceive us there's nothing wrong with considering what other. Might be thinking where we dress there's nothing wrong with considering even what God sees when he sees our dressed it's important to have a well taken quarterly way. Everything worn by the high priest was to be whole and without one which every article the high priest was to wear and the way it should be were specified these garments were consecrated to a little smaller this by them was represented the character of the great anti-type Jesus Christ they covered the priest with glory and beauty and made the dignity of his office to appear when closed with them the priest presented himself as a representative of Israel showing by his garments the glory that Israel should reveal to the world as the chosen people of God Every single one of you is entirely and wholly valuable and how you dress it is representative of not just what God sees of you but how you see yourself and it's important that we take care of ourselves the way we look the way we feel and the way we dress but also the same surely has to do with sacrifice and in Romans twelve one it says I beseech you therefore brother and by the mercies of God that you present your bodies as a living sacrifice there are very few things that we want to do in this world and sacrifice is one of the biggest ones are for our culture I watch the culture because I get to see it in little parts each day when my clients come to see me and so many people want to share what their rights are so many people want people to notice how valuable they are in constantly or continuously affirm them for who they are but do we think also about that you know maybe not focusing on my cell gives God the glory and the praise and the adoration that he deserves but some. Many people are fighting for themselves to be noticed that I think God is being left out and I think we should focus more on that but it says present your body as a living sacrifice wholly acceptable and to God which is your reasonable service it's not unreasonable. To offer that sacrifice to him and be not conformed to this world but you be transformed by the renewing of your mind I talked to you about our thoughts sometimes it's not what's happening to us how people are treating us but how we translate that to ourselves do I tell myself every day somebody is hurting me and taking advantage of me by not noticing me and the things I'm doing or how I look or things like Guy or do I say Thank You God that I'm not being encouraged to be selfish and profitable. It's with the way we look at things the way we think about them and God wants our minds to be transformed renewed that you need proof what is that good an acceptable and perfect will God. And in Agnes Tallman Ellen White Rights and again I shared a quote about mothers last night but this is not just about mothers it's just one that represents what a lot of us do it says too often mother show a morbid sensitiveness as to what others may think of their habits dress and opinions and to a great extent they are slaves to the thought of how others may regard them if you spend a lot of time thinking how are people going to see me are they going to like what I'm saying what I'm wearing what I'm doing that's a lot of time that we spend that we should be doing something else and it says is it not a sad thing that judgment found creatures should be controlled more by the thought of what their neighbors will think of them by the thought of their obligation to God We too often sacrifice the truth in order to be in harmony with the custom that we may avoid. Ridicule. But what is the verse tell us and first Peter too that we're supposed to be a royal priesthood a holy Nishan were to be different but too often we want to be the same. And then holiness and service are other parts of the same suring message and she says during ages of spiritual darkness the Church of God has been as a city set on a hill from age to age to successive generations the pure doctrines of heaven have been unfolding within its borders and feeble and defective as it may have here we're hearing a lot of things often that our church is falling apart and things are happening the church is the one object upon which God The stows in a special sense a supreme regard it is the theater of his grace in which he delights to reveal his power to transform hearts where unto asked Christ shall be like in the kingdom of God or with what comparison shall we compare it mark for three God's Church is the court of holy life filled with varied gifts in in doubt with the Holy Spirit the members are to find their happiness in the happiness of those whom they help and what's. Wonderful is the work which the Lord designs to accomplish through his church that his name may be cooler by a picture of his work is given in news equals vision of the river of healing this one and I love this verse these water should issue out toward the east country and go down into the desert and go into the sea which being brought forth into the sea the water shall be healed so we're to be letting our lights out and are all the stuff that you're learning here at Loma Linda were to be spreading with others and it shall come to pass that everything that lives which you with are so ever the river shall come shall live and by the river upon the bank there are a on this side and on that side children on. All trees from the whose leaves shall not fade neither shall the fruit thereof be consumed it shall bring forth new fruit according to his mouths mine sorry because their waters they issued out of the sanctuary and the fruit thereof shall be for me and they leave their of for medicine as we interact with people as we live our modest lives we should actually be healing those around us and sometimes you'll hear people say when you live a different sort of life wow you're different you're kind of refreshing. It's nice not to have to be with negative people all the time thank you for being positive or encouraging and things like that those are nice things to hear. One of the books that I have in my library is called character strengths and virtues and the book is probably this thick and it's all there research done on character traits and it says in the book in the guise of self-esteem modern western culture encourages the pursuit of pride when seeking to blame for social ills such as drug abuse and violence the modern world often points the finger at low self-esteem the Crusaders to raise self-esteem or the crusade to raise self-esteem as spawn countless self-help books and even state funded task for years courses is our self-esteem getting better or lower. In our culture if you work with me you'd see that it's getting a lot lower. If people can only feel better about themselves the logic goes they will be happy and behave well and society will benefit individuals now you pride as not only acceptable but worthy whether it takes the form of overestimating one's good qualities and traits viewing the self as better than average or basking in and conditional praise dispute lukewarm performance a lot of P.. People want to be encouraged to feel better before they'll do something different but do you know that the best way to feel better is to actually do something of service. That's the way you will feel better I I know so many people when when I talked about this last night often one of the biggest symptoms of depression and anxiety is a word called rumination. And rumination we get that from what cows do they chew their food and then what happens it goes down in the stomach digests and then it comes back up nature again and it goes down it comes back up and they chew it again and just like with cows many people do that with their thoughts their hurt their dejected somebody says something does something and what do they do or what do we do sometimes we think about it and then we think about it again and think about it again God created something even in the garden of even eat in to protect ourselves from rumination and it's called work. It's one of the best things that we can do to distract ourselves from ourselves and often if we help others it forces us to see we're not the only ones who are hurting who are sad who are lonely I think one of the biggest symptoms of depression and anxiety and all the forms of those things take and I can say that because I've experienced depression and anxiety myself is the idea that it's all about me. It's really easy to focus on that. Pride go if before a fall if we don't practice modesty these are some of the things that we risk Baylor University found that. Honesty and humility as a trait was more indicative of better job performance and much more so than even agreeableness or conscientiousness did you know that if you just agree with everybody enough to make them feel better. For a time because it's short lived that you're actually not going to do as well in your job as if you are humble and honest. How about better frontal lobe use the University of Texas Austin found that people who see themselves as better than they are showed lower frontal lobe use sometimes four times less than their more modest peers. What three mental disorders correlate with lack of modesty and humility one of them you probably guessed narcissism it's often thought of as having a highly inflated sense of self but more typically it exaggerates high intelligence and social acceptability and specialist to prove more importance and avoid feelings of inadequacy if you know someone who has narcissism it's actually in response to feeling very low self-esteem to overcorrect those feelings histrionic personality disorder is about ten attention seeking being dramatic in appropriately sexually seductive and uncomfortable when not the center of attention and they seek attention for that. And then also antisocial disorder most ERP personality disorder most people will say oh I'm anti-social they don't mean the actual diagnosis antisocial personality disorder because if they knew what that meant it's like people say oh they're O.C.D. because they don't like they have germs that's not real O.C.D. but anti-social personality is a disregard for others and violation of their rights in highest sense of self focus on high sense of self and lack of empathy for others they. See things and power did you know I think it I think I read about eighty percent of business owners have that last one antisocial personality disorder maybe it wasn't business owners it was like the Fortune five hundred people but that's that's one of the that's one of the problems with a lack of modesty. But then we have somebody who tells us how to live jesus and Ellen White says he went about doing good benevolence was the life of a soul he not only did good to all who came to him soliciting his mercy but he purser varyingly saw them out he was never elated with a pause or dejected by censure or disappointment so many people we only feel good when we're being validated and we feel awful if we're not being validated or somebody says something negative to us but Jesus never lived his life that way if somebody said something to him he didn't get all excited and oh you like me no he didn't do that but neither did he get upset and have to go off I am solved and feel dejected and depressed if people didn't like him he never would have accomplished his goal if he had done that great and what was his goal to make a place for us in heaven by offering himself as a sacrifice. For Libyans to says Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus who being in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God he didn't he didn't even assert himself to be equal with God but made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a certain servant and was made in the lightness of men and being found in fashion as a man He humbled himself and became obedient to death even the. Of the cross. And Isaiah fifty three said he says he had no form or comeliness that we should look at him and no beauty that we should desire this does not mean he was ugly and he didn't take care of himself it just means he didn't put the focus on how he looked or how he was perceived by others he was despised and rejected by men a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief and as one from whom men hid their faces he was despised and knew him not he was oppressed and he was afflicted yet he opened not his mouth like a lamb that has led to the slaughter and like a sheep that before it's yours is done. So he opened not his mouth. Can you imagine going through life like that. I don't see that in our culture a culture that is trying to get notice and recognition and people to validate us every time we're out and about I like what. I like the benefits of developing modesty and we have physical benefits the ability to accept in which you reach your goals internally are an extremely did you know that if you're able to accept criticism positive constructive criticism it actually helps you fulfill your goals better if you're willing to listen to what people say maybe peers that have done it before or people above you that are teaching you how to do things ownership of yourself and freedom if I'm focusing on what everybody else thinks of me I have to constantly go this way or that way to get their approval and fewer physical symptoms people who have people who have things like depression or anxiety based on what they think other people think of them that actually I mentioned earlier that are thought. It's either you're bring about a reaction of positive chemicals or negative chemicals based on those things and depression also depresses our immune system so it makes us harder to heal from things too but people notice you and not what you wear you've heard the line the clothes wore her the clothes were him versus He wore she wore the clothes that's not a good thing you don't want the clothes to stand no more than more than the person wearing them but there are also financial benefits of developing modesty we live within our means there's a lot of people in our world who are living with a lot of problems from creditors and things like that because we're looking to have approval from others and we want to wear something I always tell people I don't I don't do free endorsements of clothing lines. All the celebrities are getting paid to wear those clothes nobody's paying me to do it I'm actually going out and buying those things that's not fair but we invest in bigger pursuits with little to no loss what that means is we're able to think rationally and logically about the next choices that we're making and we're not doing it just to get approval or to work our way up we're often waiting for God to tell us what to do but lack of debt and responsibility to creditors and others we save more money this way and then we can use that money to help others and put into God's ministry. The next thing is also the mental health benefits and these are the obvious things but long term positive connectedness with others that means those who represented balanced descriptions were rated as significantly more authentic and significantly more likable than those who meet either deprecating or in Hansing statements about themselves people will actually like you more when you're not. Trying so hard to please everybody because if you're trying hard to please somebody and looking for what they say about you then you have to act one way with this person and another way with this person and what happens when this person sees you interacting with that person differently than they saw you interacting with them. Their faith so we actually have mental health benefits from these too and from social interactions but also we have a true sense of self and our self worth we have a clear conscience we can go to sleep at night not worrying about what everybody's thinking about us and if we've done everything we exact way that people would expect us to do we have ability to set appropriate boundaries with others this is a big thing that I spend time with with my clients on and it also means we have it have an ability to grow to our full potential with little to no ego fraudulency. This is a last thing and I'm going to share with you but modesty means you are different when everyone is trying to be the opposite of modest modesty means you actually will be different God says My ways are not your your ways my plans are not your plan sometimes we actually are different just by being different and she says virtue and modesty are rare I appeal to you as followers or Christ in view of your high profession to cherish the priceless gem of modesty as you hope to be finally exalted to join the society of sinless and jewels and to live in an atmosphere where there is not the least and seek purity for nothing else will by the searching test of the day of God and be received into a pure and holy haven't. You will be thinking about the way you dress the way you interact with others the way you serve others and things like that when you do consider modesty but this is something that I am. God let him. Wear. The. Life. You will have. And not have to have that but I want to. Dear Father I ask. That. The. Media was brought to you by audio. A website dedicated to spreading God's word. And much more if you would like to know more about how do you. Like to listen to more sermon. Visit W W W.

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