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Love and Marriage

Chad Kreuzer Fadia Kreuzer
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  • February 3, 2018
    4:00 PM
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Heavenly Father thank You for this opportunity I pray that your Holy Spirit would be here we thank you that you care about us and you care about every aspect of our lives our relationships and future marriages or present marriages we need your Holy Spirit to make us into the people you called us to be in Jesus' name meant to begin with one of the things that he mentioned this morning on the two institutions that God gave us in Eden and we read here in a book called Letters to you to young lovers of God celebrated the first marriage. Dusty institution House for its originator the creator of the universe marriage is honorable It was one of the first gifts of God to man and it is one of the two institutions that after the fall Adam. Place autumn brought Adam brought with him beyond the gates of paradise when the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation marriage is a blessing and it guards the purity and happiness of the race it provides for man social needs it elevates the physical the intellectual and the moral nature so it's one of the two things that God gave us we got on the Sabbath this morning and is one of the things that God a most the other thing is marriage that Eavis right in the beginning right in perfection and both of them were meant to be a blessing lasting but sadly in many cases both of them became a curse not because God intended to be that way but people became legal listing and so the Sabbath became burden but now that God ended he said it was to be a blessing same with marriage that the marriage was meant to be a blessing. She's made sure my words OK so let's go on and so we're going to leave him with we're going to begin with the story of in Genesis Chapter twenty four and some of the verses will be on the screen so we're in a more talk about it give you a little overview Genesis chapter for. Twenty four is the story of. No. Abraham and Abraham is getting old and he has a son that needs to get married and so he's worried about marrying this boy off as an E.. And so many of our parents get worried when we get we're getting a little older right how many we can relate to they don't want to raise their hands and. The old soul was reverence All right you know OK maybe they don't want to admit to the old parents to rag on a sometimes don't fit specially if you come from the eastern part of the world they start to like a So what's going on you know so I understand I come from this background and she didn't get married young no I didn't get married. So anyway. He just gave away a big. Point is so not on the Bible to Genesis twenty four No I don't think. It's plenty big clue but myself oh yeah anyway it's good to have have fun with each other so. This isn't going to show. I'm sorry. So by Abraham Isaac is on his mind right like every good parent you're thinking about your child and you're wanting the best for your child and so what's Abraham doing is he's stressing out he's learned stress doesn't solve your problems right we're dealing with Abraham's choice to this day you'll know what I'm talking about. Right Hagar Hagar was was the man made idea of how we're going to fulfill God's promise or. And so many times we do that in our lives we try to fulfill God's ways and so sometimes parents get a little stressed out and they forget to pray but you know it we haven't learned his lesson by this time and he starts to pray and He asks his his oldest servant to go and find someone for his son he is trusting God will lead this man incredible. When it comes to faith by this point Abraham has learned a lot about faith. And Chad actually does a whole thing on righteousness by faith based on Abraham and Sarah is experience with waiting for this promise child and how God promised and he said you cannot in an of yourself do this any more Sarah cannot bear this child and that's when God comes in it's that our extra mini that he comes in and says I can do this now are you are you ready to give up are you ready to give up I can do it now and what is it what is it that God or Aaron says about Abraham and his body would it say about his body so that you were in Romans it says that his father he was as good as dead and he said that he considered not. The definition of Syria as well meaning they had no potential to fulfill God's promise to them but that's when God they're just just like in their physical life he gave them a child so to enter spiritual life he may be impossible for us to overcome but God can give us the victory and it's by his power to be that way in marriage too. And so in that and in that story Chad when he shares it he's talking about how a lot of times we see promises in the Bible about that we can overcome sin that we can be. Righteous in the eyes of God And so then a lot of times what do we do when we see things like that we look to self and we say I can't do it therefore it must not be true right and so then we doubt God's promises but if God has said in his word he will fulfill that promise right and we need to believe it by feet that what God said he will do and so Abraham and Sarah finally get to the point where they believe God is a word and then that child of of promise has it was given to them and so if you take that into your own. Issues with God write your own overcoming that you need to do dealing with sin and all that you can come to the place where you realize you know God promised that I would have victory over this I need to believe Him and live accordingly but guess what I can speak to you right now as a woman and this in terms of relationships it's kind of like for me it was like the last frontier Not that I who arrived anywhere because there's other frontiers and I'm not even aware of right but at that point that was like the last frontier for me so I got I can diminish it for you I could go all over the world I could do this that in the other but I didn't trust that God would. Give me Chad. That was like that was like the one thing I just it's like I couldn't let go of that and a lot of women are like that we just think God may not have the best in mind for me right and we doubt his goodness towards us and we think I'm just going to have to live a life of like whoa is me and drudgery and like I just do it in you know. God like no I have something special for you you just need. To wait. And allow me to work through it and I'm I'm sure some of you are sitting I think. That's great because now you can say that because you're married now right and I went there all the stuff I went there all these thoughts and. And anxieties but I finally got to the point like Abraham and Sarah where I could pray that prayer of relief. That God use you promise things that you do things and I need to just wait and be patient and in the process God healed me of things that I was not allowing him to work through he healed me through that process and I finally got to the point where I could pray that prayer of. You give him what he needs. And I release him is like I'm not going to make this happen. And that's that's right is this by faith and we'll work through this but that's just a little piece of of how it you know we think and how this issue sometimes we think of it oh I just need to do the right things and I and I need to look the right way and I need to do this that the other in a lot of times it's a hard issue with me and my issues of letting God work in my life all right now so about a man who wants somebody to marry he sins or is there his servant is Elder servant to go forth and to find a wife and he wanted to make sure that his elder servant would not just take any old woman old woman to any young woman for his daughter and that he wanted to make sure that she would be specifically someone who would see spiritually. Right so this is one of the very first things and so the sermon just to go back to those of the family of Abraham so they could find someone of a similar character a similar mindset of Isaac now speaking of the character of Isaac you think about this before Isaac was to get married now do you know about how old Isaac was only got married. Forty right so he was forty years old when he when he got married and we know he had committed his life to God already out of you know into one of the one of the things that we see in his life do you remember his father was called by God to bring his son Isaac off into a mountain and what. Sacrifice. And now how old was he at that time when he was like around twenty years old so I imagine your dad is a hundred and twenty years old that's hardly the first place. Your dad was like one extremely all and tells you he's going to sacrifice. What would you do if you could run you could push him or you could do whatever you wanted and there's no way I heard this man could do this yes or no. But Abraham Abraham son Isaac was what he was actually willing to give his life as a sacrifice for God if that's what God. Is not amusing to think of magic actually deciding that you were willing to make your life a little not some spiritual sacrifice like you know a willing sacrifice for God. But of physical size quite. This is what he jokes he was willing to die if that's what it would take but was God's will that he would die soon up nor was this was just to tell us and after this and I think it's partly a test of the nations around them as other nations would sacrifice their children they may have said about someone I gave him that there's not faith was not going to kill it for God he's not willing to be like us but we can say yes he was but God doesn't call people to do it right and so he he he was a man a young man twenty year old man would give his life to God by the age of twenty and so when he's forty we know he's already walking with God And so before he gets married Number one he has a relationship with God which is essential for us also and another thing that we know is that he had. A patient. How do we know. He was forty years old. Now OK and he literally that's a good example you know years old in the end run around and grab some girl from the early live right now and he was patient he could have like Chad said he just could have gone with the Canaanite girls and finish the job but remember he had other things in mind he had already committed his life and he wasn't going to give it freely just anybody right if you have sacrificed your life for God and His ways why would you just freely give it to just anybody to fulfill in their inch covenant right like like why would you give up. God in eternity never think for that and so I was patient because he wasn't willing to give that up right just to have the marriage status him partly because he knew God's will for his life he had already discovered God's will for his life right I mean he he knew that specifically his wife was a part of prophecy right and he believed that God. Would direct in guiding his life in the thing is that you make it with Yeah I mean it's kind of nice your dad's Abrahamic God told him he was going to have you know his children be as the sand of the sea in the Redeemer was going to come to him so that would be really easy to be Isaac you know God's got a plan for your life but what about me I just go to school alone Linda I don't know if God has a plan for my life right now here's the reality and I may have even shared a message a little in on this before but we know from Bible prophecy that your life. And my life easy in Bible prophecy right we know that for a fact that God's going to have a people that are going to fulfill his word at the end of time and we can be that people but it is up to us if we will choose to be there. So if we know God's will for our life then it prepares us better to be able to get married because it can be dangerous if you just jump into marriage without knowing what God's will is for your life and you just kind of coast through life without any purpose but God has His will is that we would know his will for his life for our lives so. And he had. The life experience of this father and mother who like I said earlier tried to make God's will happen in their marriage to Hagar right and he saw what happened he had you know the whole situation with Ishmael having to be taken away you know let go and that message has been a tough thing and he realized I don't want to live through that and so he learned from others people's mistakes and we could do the same right a lot of times we end up learning from our own mistakes but how much better to learn from other people's mistakes and be aware of it you know when you're in situations like this where there's a lot of people together and and mingling and talking and everything so it's a good time to learn from other people. The things they've done the things they have and whatever you need you just. You learn from groups. You don't learn a lot from separating yourself away from everybody else but you learn from each other and it's important so important that we learn from our parents' mistakes especially because guess what we came from that so our tendencies tend to be like them right and so if you listen to your parents' stories you might learn a thing or two and understand like they've been there and done that and lot of times I learned that the hard way actually because I don't know where I got the idea but I just thought my parents couldn't relate to me you know they couldn't relate to my experience they came from another country I'm here in the U.S. and and so they can relate to what I was going through a book Boy was I wrong you start when you talk to your parents you start to learn how human they are and you pick up things from them as well. So the beauty is Isaac learned from that and he learned to trust his father's advice so when his father comes along and says I'm sending to go get a wife for you. He had already surrendered his life to his father dirty surrendered his life to God Like learn these things he was ready and willing and trusting God talk about faith. Talk about Bain trusting your elders. To your. Your spouse right to who who's going to be with you the rest of your life talk about me but the problem is we don't have that society so much to be doing. Arranged marriages are arranged marriage. We've been. Couple times and they do they still not over not everybody still does it that way but many of you do that and you know my mind growing up in America you know. If at all and but just. You know to me I was so far beyond my recognition but when I got there actually it seemed kind of nice meeting strangely enough you know how could that be what it showed me was meeting these people it's not like their parents are the ones who are godly did not just be like going to marry her or you're going to marry him it didn't work like that like there was there was either getting to know them or getting to know the families that the children did the ones who were going to get married that they did have a say in it yes or no it wasn't like there was no force or coercion same thing in the Bible this was not a coerced marriage you have to do this neither of them would have had to do it without their own choice but imagine having help from somebody around you that loves you so much you may not because we live in America and you know white Americans are historically independent people we do what we want we live where we want we you know we're like cowboys that fled from Europe and here we are doing our own thing you know that's the way Europeans think of us I've lived in Europe you know and there's some truth to it but the reality is is that a matching your parents actually want the best for you they care for you and they want you to have the best spouse and you believe they love you and they believe you believe they care for you and you recognize that they actually want someone who makes you happy and then as they all work together as a family it works together in a very beautiful way so it's much more beautiful than our Western mentality I'm not saying you have to agree with it or not but it gave me a better picture of what the Bible was actually talking about so for example we talked to some of the young people at a youth conference that we went to speak at in India and one of the young men we traveled with him and train for like six hours so we got to talk to him for quite some time and his brother the year before at the conference his parents all by the way the parents come to the youth conferences just for that reason to help you find a spouse Yeah it's so neat you know I know you think a like come on this is so weird but it's so neat so so he's telling us up. Of what happened the year before his parents found this young lady or her parents found them and they talk to each other and they kind of you know get it get a feel for what this family is like and they start to interact with one another throughout the year and then they decided you know yes I think will continue with this and they asked their their children are you guys OK with this and they're like yes we're OK with it and then it's up to them to start to get to know each other and so he's telling us he's like yes my parents are coming again this year and they're going to be looking for me you know and like oh OK you know but as he told us and he says you know it's so nice I get to go to this you conference with no pressure. He said I'm just getting to know people I'm enjoying myself I'm talking with people freely doing whatever and I have no stress in the back of my mind of who is he the one is he the one is he that you know he's I don't my parents are worried about that for me. I was like I was. Like maybe we should learn a little bit about this in the US You know it's not going to happen. But we've still got it was pretty cool you know I don't think is going to happen yeah so it was just really refreshing to hear from these young people who thought it was OK to trust their parents in this in this area. So to keep on with the story from the Bible in Genesis Chapter twenty four so the head sort of goes in and she's going we know that he's a man. And he used to pray that God would direct him to the right young lady to marry his master's son right to marry I said and so the servant has a prayer and it's interesting that it's prayer was about the character of the young Right it's about her character what was God Would you have the one who is to marry my son eyes would you help this young lady be the one that I ask for. A drink of water and she says Well. You know you can drink as much as you want and. I'll give your camels all bring out water you don't jugs of water for your camels to drink also so not only so he's praying or to help me to have to find a young lady who is truly hospitable she's not only hospitable she's also diligent right you know I imagine to get enough water for ten camels or however many it was do you think you take a little bit of work I imagine I imagine coming to the desert these things these dry land of the examples are probably very very thirsty so she's a diligent young woman so now not only we have some of the characteristics of Isaac but we also begin to see that his prayer is answered by a young lady and then and then after you meet Sir she invites him home alternately and she says you know we have food we have a place for you to stay in for the camels I mean to talk about I mean what kind of character is this that she treats a stranger with this kind of love and this is a special young lady so we begin to see some of the character of Rebecca now a quick spot he is going to share with you the friend of ours we're going to do our best not to say his name but need he tested the character of the young lady before he. You know before you get married actually just as they were going to know each other. So what's interesting about. So what's interesting about this story is that this is also an arranged situation but in America and the way it was arranged is through friends. They had mutual friends her friends and his friend and there was family involved too that knew both parties for several years and so they're all I can I think this would work I really think and they prayed about it and then they it introduced the two and so then you know he was very cautious and very patient over the years people would constantly push him to hear about this one. About that one how he was in ministry and he didn't want to just like jump around. So he was very patient and and. Just we really respected him for it so we were visiting him one time this is after they got to know each other a bit and we said so what do you think you know and he's like she's good people you know like OK that all you have to say and then is like knocking I'll give you an example because he wasn't always freely giving all this information out so you kind of had the problem a little bit so so then he said this is what I did he took a youth group in the middle of the night Obs And he's like OK guys let's go on a hike in the mountains and they were hiking in the dark and she comes along he has are you this is all to test her and and it's. And so he takes her along and she's out you know in there tromping through stuff in the dark and it's just crazy it's absolutely crazy but you have to know this guy and it's not just the two of you know something it's a huge group you know this is his ministry so they're out troponin the woods and it's dark and things are getting pretty bad and some of the kids are like getting upset or crying or whatever because it's getting cold or what have you and so then he flashes his his like to see where she's at what she's doing and she's like in the corner complaining or something or you know and what does he see she's in the corner praying with the girl and has the Bible and she's giving her like a bible study and praying with this girl who's crying and he's like. You know he's not he's like she can handle this you know he was really really impressed and he thought. That's good people you know in his mind you know and so you have to figure out what that is for you right and. Test the waters we had another friend who's a missionary and he's like a generational missionary and there is a group thing that they did like a mission trip and they were out in the middle of somewhere in Africa. And he tests you know he's trying to see how she's going to react was you know do you and he said she mean muffin out in the middle of nowhere and he's like wow I was like she won my heart you know. I was like Are you serious he's like yes so you need to figure out what that is right everybody's got that different thing that kind of makes a taker or you know there's a certain thing about you that me annoying certain people but some people we just love it test it out see it. You know we see something we've already mentioned some of the. Some of the characteristics of like if she was faithful when. She was in regard to that which was right he said We've already looked at that and you know one of the things she discovered about Isaac is that he could he could provide for. Most of you wouldn't mind marrying this guy because this is cool or it has blessed my master greatly he has become great and he is going to flocks and herds silver and gold male service female service of camels donkeys Sarah my master's wife or a son to my master when she was old he has given all things that he has to him so obviously most girls when mine marry a man like this he's one of the richest people around obviously wasn't very hard to figure out that perspective like OK he's doing very very well but the characteristic there is a it is an important thing that someone should be able to provide. It is a very important characteristic of this one house to be rich necessarily but that someone will because we've had the opportunity to do ministry and you know multiple different countries and you know cross the United States and one part of the United States I'll just tell you where and if you're from there I'm not saying you're this way but some guys in the northwest we've lived in the northwest and there's a lot of guys up there now obviously if you're going to school you know one of those guys but there's a lot of guys up there in the northwest that they sit at home and play video games all day where the ball their girlfriends or wives gone make a living. It's just like we just saw it over and over and over and over and over it was just this is crazy you know like a bunch of possible game guys who played video games while their girlfriends made a living. And I don't say that just to rag on the guys they need to be right big but the reality is is this kind of characteristic number one back guys never go. To be happy. Yes or no. He will never be happy if he just lives in a life a life an addiction to video games because a man without a purpose is just it just doesn't fulfill your life doesn't like we were made to do something and so for her to see a man who looked up these could provide her that was a good characteristic in an I mean we live in a time where many times both couples of the people were whatever but but it is good that this man has a purpose he has it is a will to do something to succeed to make it in life and to live for God I mean that's the most important thing that we talked about in the beginning but we should have it diligence enough because once again he's not going to be happy and if he's not truly happy the marriage is not going to be happy and so to have that she recognized that he actually could provide and so that was very important now one of the other characteristics is that in this relationship irony mention that there was no coercion now we see this in now do you remember so she alternately got to make the decision whether she would go or not whether she would marry I said you know her family was open to it her mother and her brother and they were OK with it but it says in you know it says there are the first eight Actually this is back even Abraham said that she gets to choose This is before they even meet the young lady Abraham said if the woman isn't willing to follow you then you should be clear from this my oath only you shall not bring my son there again meaning Abraham said listen you go all of her a wife but if she's not willing to come down and take my home like you're gonna be he's not going to marry somebody from the right and so she actually Abraham did not believe in coworker because he knew the true God of the universe a God who was a God of love and love necessitates choice we see the same thing in verse fifty six and first fifty eight it says Abraham servant said do not hinder me seeing that the Lord is prospered my way send me away that I may go to my master they said that's Laban and. And the mother they said we will call the young lady and ask her they called Rebecca and said to her Will you go with this man and she said what. I think it's very beautiful it's even biblical times when I was you know patriarchal society thinking people would notice that these were not some people that believed in force. But this is actually sure. Even you know got her so by no means was she forced that she actually got to choose your she was going to and she seemingly saw God's providence living. So. The way that she saw God's Waiting is that right away when Ellie's or meets her at the water at the well he tells her God answered my prayer through you you know this is what I have asked and so then he tells her you know I'm Abraham servant I need to meet your family because he finds out whose family she's from and you're the one I'm looking for you know and and so she sees I will God is going and she doesn't have much unlike her life changes overnight right she was just innocently going to get water the same thing she was doing every day right she she was going faithfully doing the thing that was in front of her faithfully and when she was faithful to the thing that was before her her life turned around. And next thing she knows she's she's leaving home she's getting married and. You know the rest is history so. The point is is that that she recognized God's leading in all these things it wasn't like she's like oh this sounds so exciting and fun and like yeah why not you know and sometimes we get caught up in like an initial meeting of somebody with. What's it called the novelty of it and you know infatuation and there's a novelty of it but she's not even met this guy so that can't be it but she saw God's leading and she had peace in her heart and she said I will go. Once I know there's probably not for many of you but there are certain million feeling there is out there who will say things like I know God is leading us and I know sometimes he may be but mean just because somebody says that God has shown me to Mary. Just because somebody says that does not mean it's true you will ultimately get to choose if God's need a man yes or no you don't have to just because some guy or girl for that matter I've heard all the way some girl says God a soul to marry and the guy's a show me back behind. Bars listening thinks he can hear the waves are not putting out guys or girls the point is you have to pull this side if God is actually there there should be no spiritual call coercion either right some kind of manipulate to religious pushing somebody and you know God's telling me you need to do it and you feel guilty like if I don't do this and my not following God Now if you don't see God see you know how they're going to do so very few of you already do that to some of your men another manipulation maybe a little side now to be you know the guys who want to sleep with the young lady and so they say on the bible times once they stop together there are men and wife so we can just sleep together because you know in God's eye. There's a little yes and they are having their ceremonies in the Bible and they just generally don't attend together. Yes or. No they have a massive parties in the bible reading Jesus first miracle the beginning of his ministry takes place at the marriage ceremony and they did actually have a marriage they didn't just go sleep with each other and that's what did it right now yes that's part of its covenant for sure but don't fall for that one either young ladies it's kind of the point I want to add that in a little extra OK So another point is that Isaac was holding to input from his family and those that were close to. Now that is soul so important that I wouldn't want to miss out on it is so much more than that who are willing to be open and to be up to the needs of those around you. Meaning there are many times where people will not not that's not that doesn't mean that you just listen everybody because people may have conflicting opinions but if and I've said this before you were all we spoke and relationships here before with you it does not. Say so. Lost my train of thought. Yeah I think I was opening for OK yes that I told the boss where was I going was hard. You know that if their spiritual that you want to go yeah if they're spiritual people idea this is this is what it's like so let's say some somebody some young lady and this happens more often with young ladies and young men. There some guy who's kind of the back boy in town but nice you know he's good looking and he's exciting when you're within your heart that are batters because he's exciting he's the bad guy in town so you're excited and he knows how to get on you he knows how to tell you how beautiful your eyes are parts of your body and so forth and it just it's exciting and so as to how this everybody tells you he is no good for your best friend tell your cousin tell your mother tell your dad tell your pastor tell everybody that guy he's no good and I die when you talk to him he says. You're the only one that understands. What. I mean only one understands that he's a good guy. Now you're the only one who understands a he's a good guy decent you look on. The spot. Really he's a great guy. No he's not but he's excited not so if you go out right so I'm not saying that he goes into the office often off the list but he's very exciting and till the day after you get married and then the excitement is gone and then you find out that everyone was right except for your heart your heart was the only one that wasn't right because are to be deceitful with all these desperately are suitable things and desperately wicked must the birth right and God can change our lives but God. I don't I don't you just usually you know you go to a conference so often that I want to show that we've got what we need to be open if everybody around you is telling you these things do you think that overnight all of your friends and family want to be on and be. Really decisive he's really a great guy for your marriage and at this point they don't want you to be you know you don't want to be. That doesn't happen in your family loves you generally so specificially owners of history which will people were talking about you know spiritual counsel from those around you. So you think like oh no you guys are overreacting it can't happen as often as you're acting like it does but it does. Just this. Latter part of the year we met several young ladies who you know when you do conferences and stuff and you have times for people come talk to you they open up and they tell you things and. This young lady she was young and he was I forget how many years these ten years or at least ten years older than her and I know that that's an impossibility to do but it was yeah that was not a problem especially in this culture it was not a problem so. And this was not in India just in case you're wondering. Because we're just talking about India reports so it was not in India so. Anyway she comes and she's crying to me and it's so heavy because she said everybody at church the elders the pastor everybody told me not to do it and she said I don't know what was wrong in my head I didn't want to listen and she said now it's just I don't want to be with him anymore it's horrible she says he still works and stuff but she says he comes home and all he wants to do is play video games which is all the time if I come trying to talk to him he gets mad at me because you know addictions try to confront somebody they start. To you know get mad at you and so he would he would just like to yell at her and be verbally abusive and throw things around and and and and there are living at his parents' home and on top of that and so she has no advocate because the parents that enabled him she's living with now right and I mean this is not a young man by any means and it was just so when she's sitting in my heart just sunk and I'm just looking at him like these poor girls you know like what on earth that she kept saying it's my fault it's my fault I didn't listen why didn't I listen and so this is just to tell you please be open to counsel you know being married is not the ultimate thing to do in this life right it's not like if I get married that means everything you know and it's just like No if you have Jesus that means everything you know like he is the ultimate goal in this life and in the life to come you know like we He's the theme of the Bible he's the one that gives us life he's We heard this morning he created us and then he redeemed us through his own blood like what more do we want right and so that is where we get our peace and our and our happiness and our joy in everything and so don't throw it all out because of status in this life. That would be like my number one thing if if anything at all it's been my number one because we hear so many stories of people that that decided to let passion and and desire trump their relationship with God and their relationship with those that counseled them and God also wants you to. Actually want you to have peace where you could possibly be you know. Like the guy or girl who is so exciting that everybody knows is not the right one God is not trying to keep you from them to keep you from happiness he's trying to keep you from on us he really is even though it's hard for us because we're actually to because we've given our heart to the individual or we've done this or that or whatever but the reality uses God really wants to have peace through joy true happiness in your life and he knows that. So and so we want to find the one that God really wants us to be so it does break our hearts we run into people who have had these situations or in these situations and you also see it when somebody is in you know going through the process it's it's a very difficult thing to see happen to someone who knew what was going on. But you can't force and there's your love can't force anybody else meaning you may love the individual meaning I may care for the guy and should do this or you know someone they care for the only thing you should do this but you can't force me to alternately they have to choose for their selves so there's no coercion in any direction but it is just a setting so we see this not to just speak of a negative God really wants you to have a good marriage so. You know one thing to think about we didn't I don't think we put it here but I want to share this because. The they did a study looking at marriages that were unhappy and when they were unhappy and for whatever reason I did read enough to look into a big book to be. If they were unhappy when they had their first child and what they found is that statistically after ten years if you were unhappy when you had your first child statistically if you stuck it out for ten years around seventy percent of them said that they have been married when they are actually toughed it out. So we've been telling you all these bad stories you think those are totally hopeless terrible stories I hope that never happens to me but the sad thing is even if you went into it thinking you were doing the right thing and you have struggles in your marriage that it may be that I'm certain of this is that if you're willing to stick it out not I mean there are certain things if somebody is physically abusive you do not have to stay in the same house with them right in the Bible says Thou shalt not kill and if somebody is hurting you you don't have to stay in the house with somebody like that I mean you can separate from people but need the point is this is that in the majority of cases it is possible that people who will stick it out can actually find happiness it won't guarantee it because you know somebody may choose to be angry or negative their whole life but many of the times if you're in the situation and you're just not happy and you think Man I wish I were you know draw closer to God and if you were really give your life to him in time you may actually find happiness even in that marriage that seems hopeless at the moment and you might be thinking when you guys don't have kids or you don't have that trouble like you might have a happy marriage because you don't have children but this is what we do have that most people don't. We are together twenty four seven. For the past. Sixteen years. How many people can say that and this is not glory to us OK I'm talking twenty four so how many people do you spend this much time with. Not many I think we spend more time together than we have with our families all put to you there you know. But that's all glory to God because we had to learn to work through that right you know most people say I don't want to retire because I have to be with my spouse all day. I don't know about most people but some a lot of people I say that do i just because they'll think I'm here like we'll see us together all the time like I do you guys hang out all day that's so weird and then at night we have to tell you though OK goodnight stop talking you know like that seriously that's just how it is with us. Meaning I always have stuff to talk about we have an hour together all the time we always have stuff to talk about but I don't know how that's possible. So that said I think we can maybe share a few things about how to get along right you know and we've we've had to learn to both of us come from families that fun fun Fonso we docs what we fell into and so we have really had to learn to learn to love to learn to be like Christ and and spend time together in the word and we had to learn that every single night that we would never go to sleep without We would not let the sun go down on our garage for I wish I mean I would love to tell you like we had a perfect marriage you know right from the get go everything was perfect and it's not perfect now but meaning we've grown and grown and grown and what a blessing it is bent to us that you know this is our background we you come into it with what you grew up with many of you do some people of you just have a nicer disposition like we share with people I've met two couples in the church who said they have never married and they have never argued in their entire marriage. Ever ever and one of them she thought. That all marriages were that way. In the church she thought everybody in the church that she told she she's a businesswoman her husband on his multiple businesses and a very special Both these couples are business people both couples on corporations well so interesting we enough the wife told one of our employees she said if you became a Christian too you wouldn't have any problems in your marriage. That. You got to say so and I wish I wish it was but I'll tell you what I think this family did like multigenerational at Venice I think it's like they bred out the evil out. Some families have been bred out of this family this family seem to do it they've been in it they've been able to do it but I don't think it's just that he's a really godly people they're amazing their children are God the at least the one I don't know the other ones cancer but you know very powerful and so but most people don't come into it with that back mentality they have issues they have backgrounds they have their opinions about every little thing in life and in annoys them you know that to the cap on the toothpaste or whatever it is you know is just something that they don't like but this is the thing and you think when you're not married to like oh never care about any of that stuff right I just love them and I'll just be like very you know but you find out it's not always that way right certain little things are like why do you do that right but the reality is if you learn to get through those things in most of it is you willing to change most of it is you willing to change try as a principle of law yet because the principle is love not coercion not to force someone to do what is right but to finally say you know what OK if you don't do the thing that I want exactly the way I want I'm OK with it you know it's OK whatever and the the more loving and kind you are the more likely that other person might be to actually do the thing that you hope that they're willing to do so I kind of when it gets so so with you. Meaning someone in charge. Yes Sometimes him. So we were time out earlier this young lady that had met a young man at church she didn't listen she she realized he wasn't as spiritualists he should have been and then now I don't even think he was going to church anymore so she had come to this. By on her own. But when you look at the story a bicycle when when I Rebecca when her eyes fall on him and she sees him from a distance what is he doing he says in the Bible and I think going out to meditate in the field at the even tide she her for the first time she sees him he's out meditating with God in nature spending time with God and like what a beautiful thing to see right she had nothing with making him do that you know he wasn't doing it for her he was that was his routine that was who Isaac was and so don't try to make somebody into something that they're not right try to let them have their experience you have your experience and then you grow together you grow together and don't course somebody else to have your. Lawyer say your convictions and things like that for example for many years Chad didn't really. Care OK you're talking about to get married no no. No no she's saying so we I became an Adventist and I and you know I found out that the admonition over into health and so forth and I wasn't really into that I didn't care about any of that stuff going on like you know my needs and goes with pork you know but I quit eating the pork because I saw that the bible talked about that it was on healthy so I stopped doing that but long story short then I not very long after I became a vegan ish vegetarian you know. The school you went to get to school I went to is big and I thought that was like the strangest thing in the world but I'm so glad that it was because it was such a life changing experience and feel so good within like two weeks I had never I probably told I told some of you that I had never had a cell one of my entire life and I was in college one time and I never had a salad so I went to school is totally different and I'm eating and I start feeling better but even after that I was still a vegetarian ish beginner whatever in between but I I didn't really care that much for it but over the years it totally changed my life and it was my wife being patient with me and now I probably like health more than she does. I mean just because I love science and then once in a while he'll like Sharon it's like. I told you that years ago it's true now he did she did. So many years ago like she be like all this in an I you know I don't believe into it years later that whatever it is I find he finds you study or whatever and I don't feel bad about it I'm just a skeptic by nature I got a total skeptic except for when it comes to things from God and His Word other that I'm just a skeptic so I don't trust much but I do trust God His word totally Yes So anyway the point is I didn't want to coerce him into it you know I didn't want to put because then I knew because I grew up with my dad he died young diabetes complications things like that so I knew the way we did it with my dad didn't work you know. Pushing him and self like that it's very emotional for me. So I learned that lesson well and realize I can't do that with him you know he's going to have to come to a place where this is his decision if he wants to be healthy and praise the Lord I just sometimes when he's up front because we should do vandalism and I want to do a hell talking like Enron or no I don't know. I don't know and it was just like made him super I'll come. All so if you hear him talking about how that's like a total miracle I just sit there and I'm thinking like is that coming out of his mouth you know but that's what happens is why is that we prayed for our spouse instead of NAG our spouse because nagging. My dad is not around today you know but praying for your spouse's weaknesses instead of. Talking about their weaknesses right instead of putting it in their face all the time or telling others or telling other people about it if you pray when I see stuff and I'm like annoyed. I need to pray like that's what he needs right now and God showed me something in his character not to get me angry or to put him down but to pray for him you know and so when I start to pray it's like. God's like hearing my voice and I see a miracle happening in my husband it's just like. It's amazing women we have power. And not in and of ourselves it's trusting in God It's trusting and not nagging. And all of us are down from one of the few evangelists to the world actually puts that at the beginning of an evangelistic meeting now because society really is open to it on a people really are as it changed my life and on that other people are also open to it and so I'm glad that you know my work prayed for we're going to do a few called serious phone letters to newlyweds literally newlywed not from a book Letter to newlyweds Edson and Emma and Sen it's and my thank you you my children have given your hearts to one another United we give them wholly unreservedly to God in your married life seek to elevate one another shoulder high in elevating principles of your holy faith in your everyday conversations in the most private works of life walks of life walks of life thank you ever a careful and. Tender of the feelings of one another it goes on do not allow this is interesting this is this is so important do not allow a playful bantering What does that mean now keep in mind this written eighteen hundred twenty dictionary but no Webster says bantering is laughing at with good humor so laughing at the other person saying statements that make you laugh at them right and you may even smile when you do but do not allow a playful bantering joking with them about themselves kind of putting them down joking conversation censuring of one another these things are dangerous why they won't the wounded may be concealed Nevertheless the wound exists and peace is being sacrificed and happiness in danger and then interesting how many people in their marriages you know no one says some negative thing kind of us you know you smile and say with a joke like oh if you're never going to do whatever whatever you do you can make up what it is and sometimes you see people doing you know your friends those with a wife will pull down the husband the hospital put on the wife in front of people and it's even worse when you do that when you do it in front of people because with how do you feel if somebody put you down you can't really defend yourself or if you do you look like her defensive right and so either way it creates that defensive spirit or creates that wound right so how much better one of the best things you can do is never say negative things about your spouse to anybody else if you think they're going to murder you or something you could do it but meeting in general it's like little annoyances don't go to calling up your girlfriend and telling her all the annoying things your husband does that's not going to enhance your relation guys either by talking about the problems of your wife these are not things that you want to do. And this is a way the letter continues to the newlyweds and this is a way to help your marriage. My son guard yourself and in no case manifest the least disposition savoring of a dictatorial overbearing Spirit it will pay to watch your words before speaking this isn't easier then this is easier than to take them back or face their impression afterward. Ever speak kindly module eight even the tones of your voice let only love gentleness and mildness be expressed in your countenance and in your voice make it a business to shed rays of sunlight not of her but not her leave a cloud Emma where you be all too. IMO will be all to you you can desire it if you are watchful and give her no occasion to feel distressed and troubled and to doubt the general genuineness of your love you yourselves can make your happiness or lose it you can be seeking to can conform your life to the Word of God be true noble elevated and smooth the pathway of life for each other. You know she said Don't ever let her doubt your love for right and so we need to show love and share with each other that we do live each other many parent many families never tell each other they love each other my family did my family's very. We were hot headed people so it was our duty and yelling in the house that I grew up in but you can always tell each other I love you you know so you always knew you were loved even though we were kind of crazy at times and so now that that's great to be there and not be crazy but because so many official to. Tell each other you love each other right in news I marriage is going to whole marriage without ever telling each other my wife doesn't have that problem she says I tell her I love her too much and I say. Certain things he says as I said You're repeating yourself. But. I guess you want me to tell them. That it's true but also on his family their affection it and they kiss you know and that's really special it's like he always says I knew my family loved me and that's so important you know that we have we have that we show love we hug we touch and it's important and then also speaking kind words. One whole this is the final quote. How to help your marriage you will to each other and certain yield your judgment sometimes do not be persistent even if you if your course appears just right to yourself you must be yielding for bearing kind tender hearted pitiful courteous every keeping fresh the little courtesies of life the tender acts the tender cheerful encouraging words and may the best of heavens blessings rest upon you my dear children is a prayer of your mother what a nice letter for mamma. What a beautiful letter and it's. So important to be willing that because the thing is we all have opinions we all think we're right in most cases right and you don't mostly think you're wrong most of us think we're high right and so if I'm always right I mean how could somebody else be right and it just can happen when. But the point me is that you'll do even if you think meaning there are times where it's not necessary to even be right meaning OK yes it's it always feels good to think you're right but the reality is this. Isn't always necessary to fight over those issues or just just to recognize just be yielding to the other I'm going to carefully care for you and I'm going to yield to you because I care for I love you I want I want what's best for you not just what's my opinion or what what I think is best for me and you know love is patient kind it does not envy your boast it is not rude it's not tough to hope that we're to show of love that that is if we're just seeking for this person to please me we will not find the true happiness that we're seeking but if we actually seek to to make the other happy we are much more likely to find it but the reality is is one of the things we share normally is that you want to find happiness and God before you seek apart before huge seek for a husband or a wife you want to find joy and peace in your own life and in your own spiritual life because how much harder it is let's say you're not spiritual right now and and you know you should be in you know if your kids are should be and so you're going to you know you'll you'll you'll figure it out later and so then you marry someone who's kind of like you they don't really care much either and then you get married and you have a kid and then you realize oh man we are bring our kids church or they were your child the church I want to bring into church and now you have difficulties because you were hoping they would just get converted when you got converted right but the reality is it may not work that way so how much better if we find something if we if we seek God first but seek ye first the. Kingdom of God and all enhance his righteousness and all the things the earthly things that we are need that are needful to us will be added unto us so we want to seek God first and I just want to challenge each one of their Maybe somebody here. Who is in a relationship right now and in the Holy Spirit maybe convicted you even in the past or maybe just deny that their relationship with you or not in or that you're now in is not the relationship God with you to. And I would challenge that as we pray that you would give it to God say God and let go it's. In their mind non-marriage you're none you're not married but you're in a relationship and and the Holy Spirit is putting it out. There maybe others you're not in relationship with You want to be the people that you believe mean you want to find somebody that is right for you but you want to be the person that God is calling you to be so to challenge you to give your life to God spend time daily be someone who spends time in the Word of God and in the morning in the evening you give that time to God and that God will help find you someone who sees eye with me to draw closer to you and that can be in action that they can bring to the marriage they have found joy in God they found happiness you find happiness and together you can find happiness together so I want to challenge you to want to spend time in God's word and to give your life to him and if you are in a marriage the simple thing that I share is never never share negative things about your spouse or put them down but speak kindly and pray and pray for let's close. Heavenly Father we thank you so much for your dog. Or you know we're in a world that is. Racked with. Some of the people here came from fantastic homes with Godly parents who are faithful kind of patient loving We praise your name for those. Few people but for all those who will come from a background where there is broken this is not all men there's difficulty and maybe the parents are stuck it out but there wasn't a true happiness or that you can you can take us from a broken background and you can make us into the people that you've called us you can break us free and Father help us not to give up help us to be what the old King James says is to be you want the suffering that we're willing to suffer along to find the benefit the blessing that comes on the other side of sticking it out and finding the joy that comes. After the difficult. Lord Is there someone here who's been struggling recognizing that you calling them out of a relationship I pray that you give them the supernatural strength to break off not because you're trying to keep them from happiness that they would find for for with that individual but instead so that you can bring them to true happiness joy peace of knowing the hardest right if you had to find a person that would actually be pretty happy as. A financial you. Spent time in your work. This media was brought to you by audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse if you would like to listen to more sermons leave a Visit W W W audio verse or.

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