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4. Finding the Freedom

Jed Genson Jodi Genson

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Conference

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  • June 19, 2017
    11:00 AM
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Father in heaven Lauren I just thank you again for this opportunity to be here with these folks and I pray Lord that today the message will be very clear and helpful to them Lord we're not any big evangelists like Pastor bachelor or pastor Pratt shop but you've given us an experience and you told us to go and share great things you have done for us and that's why we are here and so we give you all the glory for any good that comes from the seminars in Jesus name. OK Finding True Freedom Now those of you who have the cup with a little bit of water I want she to do this with it I want you to put it in your hand like this and then I want you to hold it out extended like this dong ring it and hold it that's it you can do it like that hold it out extended OK until I tell you to put it down. OK hold it down. You may email we have somebody there close by that you might say hey help me out they might see that your arm is drooping you can go ahead and lift it up for just a little bit give him a little bit of support there OK Are you ready let's go don't put it down and hold it out OK Portland Oregon is where I grew up for the 1st 9 years of my life and Portland Oregon is known as the Rose City did you know that they have a Rose Garden that has over 7700 roses with 550 different varieties it's absolutely beautiful I mean this is just a little taste of it but these roses and talk about fragrant I mean you can't walk through this rose garden how you guys doing OK without. Getting some of that beautiful fragrance and this special they have this festival every year in June middle of June when the roses are all in bloom and hundreds of people come from all over the Northwest to Portland Oregon for this Rose Festival Portland is also 1 of the few cities that are privileged to be 1 of the ports of call for the U.S. Navy the Coast Guard and the Canadian Royal Navy and so during this Rose Festival time you see these frigates they come in here and they park there they park their vessels right there on the river and that's where the the boardwalk right there you see it to the left of number 41 and beyond that they have a like a museum a park with all kinds of rides and they have wonderful things and people just love to go down there there's a huge parade that happens and that's where I was introduced to the Rose Festival when my mom took us kids down there to watch the parade Well my mother when she was 16 she and her friend felt it was their civil duty to go down to these ships and kiss the sailors goodbye when they would depart and when 1 sailor kind of captured her eyes he was handsome you have blue eyes and freckles and auburn hair and he came from Arkansas so he had that Rael strong accent and for her she just was taken by him and they formed a relationship and they were married. This is my dad and my mom on their wedding day now I don't know what happened with their relationship but they didn't stay together. They were divorced when my mother was pregnant with me I had an older brother he knew about him but he didn't know about me this is Danny and Jody back in the olden days now I'm not just giving you a vacation slide show here this is part of my program OK so I hope you'll bear with me Danny was about 18 months older than I. And we reacted differently to the absence of our father Danny turned it you know in his early teens like 1213 and 14 he started experimenting with tobacco then was pot and then was the harder things and he was he became an alcoholic and a drug addict I reacted differently I didn't do those things but all of my insecurities were inside I was an internal mess Danny was an ex star no internal mess if that's possible this is Danny and his daughter in 1990. 7 we were in the Dominican Republic and I received a telephone call from the U.S. So I ran to the office where the phone was and it was my younger brother Frank he says Jodi Danny's dead and I got what happened. Well he overdosed Ironically my mother lived on the 2nd Street and then there was a hotel right across the street from where she was and she saw the police cars and she saw her there and she's wondering what was going on and then pretty soon the police knocked on her door that was her son he overdosed they found him with a needle in his arm face down and they said the alcohol content. Was greater in his system than the heroin that he shot in his veins but the combination took his life left him with a daughter and in kind of within that same frame work my I found out that my biological father had died of mesothelioma and he started this wrongful death lawsuit going well and. A wrongful death lawsuit against different companies because he worked in the shipyards right. And so. My brother and I were recipients of that but that meant that we also had to make connection with some family members my 1st family member that I met was my my aunt who are now Now I spoke with her on the phone and she invited me to come and meet her and she was living in Arkansas so I flew out there to meet her. And that's interesting because when I met her she's she's kind of a short stocky very stocky woman and tough she was a prison guard and a prison there in Arkansas so she has this real. Southern drawl when she met me at their porridge is I have a B. Are you and so you know I'm like oh and then we were walking says Are you hungry and said Yes I'm hungry while now my brother had gone before me and he blasted to the whole family that I'm a vegetarian and I won't eat this and I won't drink that and so she's all freaked out wondering how she's going to feed me so she says this while you're vegetarian Yes. Every catfish and I said No I've never had catfish as well that it means are you going to eat some today so you took me to this restaurant and ordered me a catfish comes in on this well I exaggerate a piece you know this catfish with a potato and everything I'm thinking Oh Lord help me but this is I am for now and she took me to meet my grandmother so my paternal grandparents they called a mammal and Paul Paul or perhaps all OK my after nail told me that my mammal had dimentia severely didn't mention or all time as I can't remember exactly what it was but there were days that she didn't know her daughter so I walked into this nursing home and I looked on the bed was a tiny little frail lady and she was just teeny tiny So I walk in a vernal says Mom all she turned her head was this heres bodies girl OK so my mom my mom all just kind of go off her head and she shuffled over to where I was standing with my and her nails and she took my hand in hers and she's just stroking my hands like this and looking I've never seen someone just look and scour a face well that's what she did she looked at my face and she had some tears well up which is oh. This is bodies girl this is bodies girl and she was just and we all had this wonderful cry in my average male told me she has been waiting all these years to meet her grandchildren can you imagine grandmas and pop all those what it would be like to know you have grandchildren but you're not given the privilege to meet them. Well I heard that Buddy didn't want anything to do with us and growing up I kind of wondered why anybody been there why I didn't do anything so there's just kind of a twinge in my life. I don't belong in my life my daddy didn't want me in my life growing up I met Randy Randy is my half brother I mean what's that anyway right Randy and I share the same father we have different mothers you understand that I made a phone call to Randy Randy lives in ticks and everything's bigger in Texas and so is Randy. And his wife Laura. But I called and I introduced myself as Hello I'm just like nervous Hello I'm Jody and I am Earl Dewey says daughter and this is his response I don't lack surprises in you in your brother are suppress outlet should know when I'm ready clack. Yeah back in 1901 I began a people search you know that's back when you can do this people search I went to the library OK the library in pulled out all they have these big volumes of the phone books I looked in the phone books under De Weese Dewey's do easterlies and called all these do Isa's I thought might have been related none of them so I just kind of gave up but think about Randy and the surprise that he had that he had siblings out there that his dad kept this from him and he just wasn't real happy this is his son Christopher. Dad number 2 OK so I told you about Dad number 2 Dad Number 2 is the 1 in the wheelchair he was abusive to my mother I mentioned this yesterday kicked her down a flight of stairs he beater and. Ironically they remain friends but this is my brother Ray this is Ralph's wife I used to call him Papa so he was like my 1st introduction to a dad and abusive dad this is Vicki a sister Vicki and my brother Ray the 1 you saw in the picture share the same father and mother OK so they're full siblings but because of the abuse my mother adopted her out at birth because she couldn't handle she had 2 little ones at home and then she came Vicki came along but I met Vickie back in 1000 I mean this is like a soap opera I met Vicki back in 1905 when she called our Ralph actually called my mother and said guess what I got a phone call from that girl what girl well the 1 we gave away and she wants to meet us is that alright with you if I gave you your phone number and my mother was like you know can you imagine So we met Vicki and want to you know what a privilege it was for my mother to meet this baby that we didn't know we didn't know until 1905 what she had done she kept all that bottled up inside and when they met she just cried and cried and I'm so sorry I'm so sorry you know my life has been kind of a mess Well this is Dad number 3 right here Dad number 3 was actually good to us you provided well for our needs he was kind to us but he was greedy This is my step brother Paul Paul is Paul's son we don't share the same mother. I was about 8 years old almost 8 years old watching the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday night when there was a knock at the door and I went to open the door that's when kids could safely go and open the door back in the 1950 S. or maybe it was early sixty's but I opened the door and there's a gentleman standing there and he says is your daddy home and I said yes he's home well Paul and his friend Billy were sitting in the kitchen and they looked around the wall to see who's asking for him and the man at the door saw him and he burst through and he held up his badges and he said F.B.I. We want to talk to you and so they come running in the front door and knocking kids over and people come in through the back door my dad and his friend are running down the hall diving under beds being pulled out handcuffed and marched out and then some up some other people. Come in and they take children out to a waiting car we saw them handcuffed my mother who is very pregnant with my youngest brother and took her out to a waiting car we were placed in this on a no place for 3 days and 3 nights forever while they cleared my mother it wasn't like a loving foster home the children are taken to you understand it was more like a convent or an orphanage type of a place my younger brother Ray and I were separated Ray was about 6 I think. And we're just clutching I remember sitting in the in the car crying and Ray is crying and we don't understand what's happening and they're taking my mommy away and they're taking us someone are scared to death we get to this big house and they pull us apart and they take Ray to 1 place they take me here and there's is a bar door that closes and Ray broke through and he came to the door as. You understand not fun Paul spent the next 20 some years in Walla penitentiary he and Billy Carter held up 3 Federal Savings and Loan corporations in Portland over a weekend spree and. So number 3 is out of our life we have no dad so I grew up without a dad without a father until Dad number 4 came along my mom being a single mom had to work she don't she didn't have an education she quit school when she was in the 8th grade so the only thing she could do is serve drinks in a bar so she could be home with her kids so she met Dad number 4 in a bar and they. Made it. Well I don't want to cry. But he's my dad he's my dad it takes more than blood and semen to be a parent a parent is the 1 who takes you this man took a woman with 4 kids never having a child of his and we were almost teenagers and we were very nice to. We wondered whether he was going to stick around you know Stan. Is my dad it was later much later in my life when scriptures would become very precious to me. And these are some that the Lord implanted in my brain you know he's going to the Lord is going to give you his word that is tailor made for your life and these are some says before you were born I knew you and called you by your name you are mine but I'm going to ask him why in the world that he select Jodi I made could I have had a pretty name like Crystal or something. Some 2710 and John 1627 when my father 1st sake's me then the Lord will take care of me for the father himself loves me and then 2nd Caribbean 618 I will be a father to you and you will be my daughter says the Lord Almighty You see it's like this I came to understand that before I was even born the Lord had his hand over me the Lord had a plan for my life and he was going to work it out so even when I was born he says I am going to keep you I've got something special for you and he does that with us you may have gone through something similar and you may feel like you're not very special but you are he said I have called you by your name you are mine my mom did the very best she could be in a single mom back in the day when they didn't have food stamps they didn't have the Medicaid program she did the best she could and I love her for that it was a hard life was a hard life for her and I don't I don't hold any bitterness against her for that for that however for those dads something else was in there I always wanted to be pretty. My my mom used to cut my hair like this some of you may and may recognize this term the Dutch boy straight straight in my hair was always very straight so I always would like that I had to wear those silly stretch pants that have the stirrup on their need and I didn't have a ways because I was so skinny in those things kept falling down so all during school I have to work clunky shoes and stretch pants that I can't keep up and my hair is straight and stringy and you know I didn't have much confidence so I would hide behind a mask. If you ever had behind me it's like this mask can hide a lot of things but where is it it's here where I was called Dumb do we send school because I was skinny and I was clumsy and. The kids just that's just how they were and that's how they are today and I am so an advocate for kids who are bullied is just wrong very wrong and you as called them do we say I didn't have friends kind of alone or remember when you. Split up and recess I hated recess so they have all the kids wind up against the everybody has to play this game it's P.E. outside and recess and so you all I'd up and then they pick the 2 biggest strongest boys to be the captains of the team and they're picking and they're picking in the picking in the picking and guess who is usually the last 1 and there is a song that I kind of really I'm not going to sing it but it says. Down in the schoolyard they were picking out sides or choosing up sides and 1 girl stood there with tears in her eyes she had been there before and somehow she knew she'd still be standing when the choosing was. From up on the Happens The father looked down and he saw what happened down there on the ground and the angles rejoiced when he said to his son watch what we do with that 1 because you see the last to be chosen are the 1st he will call and what he does them will amaze 1 and No it's not the hero who carries the ball last to be chosen by the 1st he will call this 1 recess we are playing kickball and I hated kickball and they always stuck me way out there and big old fat to me gets up and when fat Timmy gets up he kicks the ball on it saying they're out there and I knew it was going to come out there and I was going to miss it and they were going to be all mad at me so I'm standing there. Waiting for big fat to me to kick the ball and sure enough everybody's OK we're going to get back get back to me is up so I get. Comes and he does that ball boom out there and it's common and they're crawling. And it comes and I hold my arms out and. I caught it the ball is right there. And everybody is going. So I was like a hero for a few minutes that's all we had to you know and then I was back to be in time to lease I wasn't raised in a Christian home or a church going home yet I still don't OK you know I got a little bit a little bit long to go. Is that wonderful. Not wonderful OK I wasn't raised in a church going family. Like Jad the name of God was a swear word but my grandma Peggy right here this is the mother to Dad number 3 Paul who is in prison she was a 7th Day Adventist she took us to Sabbath school when I was about 6 my mother took us to that drive and we got to see the greatest story ever told about the life of Jesus I can remember sitting in the in this is when we had station wagons and we were all in our pajamas and I'm sitting in the back seat looking over like this and just crying my eyes out when they're crucifying Jesus they beat him they put those crowds on his head and I asked my mom why are they doing that why are they doing that and she said because of sin. I did not know what sin was but it must have been something pretty awful to do that to somebody who is as good and kind as Jesus was so I just never got a clear answer why it was later when I'd find out but grandma Peggy made arrangements this is my baby brother Frank Frank has Paul for his dad she took us to Sabbath school and she made arrangements for a Bible worker to come to our house and give us a Bible study says a family and he'd bring as a projector film projector and show the pictures on the wall I told you that yesterday and we were all baptized as a family into the 7th Day Adventist Church in 1969. We were established in 1969 as a family as my older brother Danny he was not about ties with us and Frank was too young then to be baptized but it. I had a Sabbath school teacher can money anybody here youth Sabbath school teacher you've been 1 before very important job let me tell you those Sabbath school teachers if you're anything like Ken money you will save us all the kingdom can money told us in class say and I thought he was off the wall the closer you come to Jesus the things that you know love you'll hate those things that you know hate you a lot you know what he's talking about right I think you're crazy I wasn't a bad girl you know those bad girls i just love dancing and I loved music and I loved all this fashion to try to make myself beautiful all those aren't bad things right well he's told us that and I thought now it's never going to happen but when I quit going to Sabbath school yes he would come and see me every now and then my Sabbath school teacher can money he'd come and invite me to the socials when the the Academy students were home I didn't go away to Academy Well thanks always say this when I'd leave my house Jody I'm praying for you I'm praying for you as 1 why why bother Well I needed love and when I was 19 I went to a heritage thing is concert and Yakima Washington a friend invited me and as I'm sitting there now I'll tell you music will do something to my heart more than any sermon and I love pastor bore and I love pastor Bradshaw on their messages are absolutely wonderful but a song is going to is going to really hit those where I talked about the answering chord within So they're out there and they're singing this song Someone is praying for you. When you see what it seems you're all alone in your heart will break and to remember someone this praying for you and they gave an invitation for those of you want to accept Jesus to come forward guess his voice and face I saw in my mind my sadness schoolteacher can money and so I thought wow he's been praying for me so I responded to that call and I went forward and from that point from 19 on Jesus had my heart and I let him work in my life to transform me you're talking about this transformation that happens but a heritage singers did it thoughts on the Mount of blessings page 105 the 1st step in coming to God is to know and believe the love he has for you for it is through the drawing of this love that we are led to come to him What did I need I needed love nothing else was going to draw me to Christ other than love I told you that it he works as a tailor made program just for you I put these verses together to make it kind of a sentence for myself says is don't base your value by the many friends you have friends can disappoint you think of how precious you are to me I have called you my friend you can do all things because I give you strength Look every tear you have ever shed everything that has happened in your life is written in my book like a big brother I will take care of the ones who have hurt you in this 1 Jeremiah 2911 for I know the thoughts I think toward you says the Lord thoughts of peace and not evil to give you a future and a hope what kind of a future does a little girl have when our fathers reject her. Not a very good 1 not a very positive 1 but yet God says I have a plan for you I'm going to give you a future and I'll give you a home so I did not realize it I just thought this was normal life. A dad comes in your life and is out of your life comes in your life and is out of your life I remember going to the park with my aunt and uncle had to go spend the whole month with them down in California and I hated it I wanted to be with my mom but no she couldn't handle all 4 kids out of school so Uncle Jim and Aunt Ginny get Jody they loved me and so I can remember laying out I've been crying and laying out on the grass looking up and there's an airplane that's going across it oh I wish I could just jump up and get on that airplane I just hold onto the wing if it would just take me home and then we'd go to the park and I'd see a mom and dad with their kids and there's a dad pushing his swing right bashed in for a thing giggles he did and I'm thinking I'm missing something here something ain't right with this picture isn't right with this picture. But I found out some things and all this came later in life after I gave my heart to him number 1 I am secure in him Isaiah 4916 and John 1028. The question was his daughter did not have a mother in her life and was wondering if it's the same thing yes it is the absentee parent any type of rejection like that affects the child. I didn't have that opportunity I tried in 1901 to get back into my father's life harder interest but I didn't find him. I have great value the Lord told me these things you have value you don't need to compare yourself with others Matthew 626 that I am his friend John 1515 that I am complete in Him This is so important because you feel like part of your part of your life is out there or you know there's there's something missing you guys only have a few more minutes here. And I am holy and without blame before him the feelings 1 for how long have you been holding that almost you know about a half hour 30 minutes. And this 1 Romans 837 I am more than conqueror through him who loves me and then here the events in early childhood affect who we become as adults. But we don't have to stay that way now I'm talking about my childhood but there can be some things in your life right now that are affecting who you become things that you're holding onto that that paying you that you're experiencing right now and you're going to feel bad about me when you're done. Jonah for 9 the Lord ask Do you have a reason to be angry Let me ask you did do I have a reason to be upset with those dabs of mine you think so I have a reason to just like go in his face and say why didn't you care about me why was that banker that Federal Savings and Loan more important to me what happened between you and my mother that made it so you didn't want any part of our lives I'll tell you those questions have been in my mind now I did not grow up bitter I did not grow up bitter about them. But as I became an adult and I started wondering about this and just this last year more pieces of my puzzle were put together I found out things that just kind of kind of made me like you know tighten my fist a little bit that's not fair it's not fair but that's what this seminar is about today we worked in a. Foster care system with teenage girls and these teenage girls had been abused and battered and rejected they had no home they were homeless so they lived here we did not live there we came as a foster home facility not a home OK These girls were angry and rightly so they were angry they did not trust anyone they just there you know they have to protect themselves that's where you that's where you end up end to self so these therapist would come in anybody here a therapist OK mental health or if missed a good and I can say this but there is 1 counselor and she was she had or she had a Ph D. yet but I'd sit in on these they're a P. sessions and they would make these girls relive their pain and I was thinking that doesn't seem right I don't want to relive all my pain. So I asked her 1 time I said is that really helping them to relive their pain says yes they need to identify those spots in their heart in order to to go on I said Can they go on with life when they do that you know they'll never be able to live a normal life they will always need counseling and I thought to myself I disagree with that because God's word says that. This 1 thing and that's down the line but this 1 thing I do forgetting those things which are behind and reaching for what is ahead. 13 song 38 for my guilt or my bitterness has overwhelmed me like a burden to having to bear some people carry their burden of bitterness until the day they die this seminar is about finding true freedom about letting it go can you say this let it go well let it go let it go dormant time let it go let it go let it go because it's going to be too heavy for you to bear and you're experiencing that are you. If each and for 31 let all bitterness wrath anger clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice and be kind 1 to another tender hearted forgiving 1 another even as God in Christ Jesus forgave you the cup gets heavier the longer you hold it you might as well put it down and get relief right. Now. How you feelin. Feeling Now I I I heard a response from you guys as you let it down. Like releasing OK how many of you are supporting someone raise your hand now you don't realize it but you are supporting that person's bitterness do you know that you are helping them hold it is it true that there are people like that who sympathize with you and encourage you in your bitterness. Talk is just so angry my dad because he did this or my husband did that and you go oh you poor thing I am with you 100 percent sister you know what I mean she's not helping me and my bitterness she is not helping me get over it she's not helping me let it go Hebrews 1214 and here is the root of the problem see to it that no 1 falls short of the grace of God and that no better root Bitter Root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Now just in your own heart are you going to be able to determine whether or not you have allowed a bitter root to grow. I don't know that but I have chosen not to allow that route to grow in my heart and you have to decide that 2 studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health if you know that. Lowering the risk of heart attack improving cholesterol levels and sleep and we do see pain blood pressure and levels of anxiety depression and stress guess right got this light from stress management seminars. It's true we don't think about it think we're justified in our anger but what is it doing to me chronic anger puts you into a fight or flight mode which results in numerous changes in heart rate blood pressure an immune response your anger acts as if you are continually sick creating that hormone that helps you reduce your stress you know what that hormone is. Cortisone adrenaline it keeps you going going going keeps out heart working keeps your blood pressure elevated We don't we don't realize that doing because we don't feel it until we're mad those changes then increase the risk of depression heart disease and diabetes among other conditions for Again it is however call my stress levels leading to improved health and this is by Dr Karen Schwartz from John Hopkins Hospital she had an article on the positive effects of forgiveness and how this is my mother and this is Charlie my grandson my mother was so she so hated dad Number 3 she wouldn't tell me why but she just hated him deep seated hate for this man she called him the Orlando man. While when the Orlando man died his wife asked my baby brother Frank if I would mind if they included mind me as a step daughter in his obituary so I said well I was at 1 time I mean is it going to make her feel better and Frank said yeah it would make it would bring her comfort I said well I don't have a problem with that it wasn't my fault that she married that man and brought him into our lives was it it wasn't my fault the dad number to beat her up was it and so when she read the obituary Oh my. She disowned me. She rewrote her own obituary disclaiming me as a daughter I'm serious I found out about it later my brother told me because he was a pressman and he was going to print it says I have to tell you something so you're not shocked. And I'll tell you it was like this knife it just didn't stab me but just cut me in half and then half again and then the little pieces that her anger her hatred led her to that level what are the Scriptures say when you allow a root of bitterness to grow it causes trouble so I didn't say anything to her about it and I just kind of kept that internalized I had to think about it for a while I go back I went to Washington and spent a month with my mother well her health had been failing rapidly guess what she had what were her health problems what do you think heart disease right high blood pressure she was in they were going to put some stents in her heart and I'm I'm not I'm not talking I don't want to get the idea that I'm a little in my mother if I'm using her as an example they put some stents in her heart they had they couldn't do it because her blood pressure was 219 or 180. Right there in the hospital course she was nervous worried about she did not know that I knew what she had done so I'm standing there by her bedside and I'm thinking about what she did and I even question myself when I went out and asked my dad I said Dad I'm down to something did mom do this and he said yes she did so now it comes time for the procedure and I have to stand with my mother beside her bed in and kind of keep her calm. It's like why am I here why am I here what it's like Grace Grace when she started to cry just said I was there it's going to you came are going to. Give you a grace stepped between self and compassion I spent a month. With her in July. And my aunt told me this this is corded. Says it won't be long so this was a Lord speaking through hurt that. If there's anything your heart. In your heart you make it right with her and think me yeah there's something in my heart but it's not my problem it's her problem not mine is that true it was my problem because her Bitter Root had started to grow so I wrestled I have to tell you. How can I go to her I don't have anything to apologize for to ask her forgiveness for so 1 afternoon I was driving around I saw this florist shop that my mother always went to their arm under him under control. And I went in there and I said I need I need a. Of OK for body writer Oh body rider is such a wonderful sweet woman M.P.. I need this bloke A is she was she was a wonderful mother she was I love her she was my best friend so I take this bill K. and I'm just dry I'm still just driving around because I don't know what to say and I walked in the house and I put this bloke a down in front of her and she said What's that for and I pulled up a chair. Right up close to her and I looked her in the eye and I said I hope I can get through this I said but I want you to know that I love you you are a good mother to us and I don't hold anything against you for the way we raised our children I know you didn't have good choices. I know that you had a hard life and I understand that and it makes me appreciate all the more what you did and 2 weeks later. So think that I had the time you made on how much time take it self in. The grace of God can step between you your bitterness and. So many like to read this here. Sauce for the many lessons page 113 should not think that unless those who have injured confess the wrong we have judged that we're justified in with holding from them our forgiveness is it is their part no doubt to humble their hearts by repentance and confession but we are to have a spirit of compassion towards those who have transferred trespassed against us whether or not they confess their fault. That hard to do. However sorely they may have wounded us we are not to cherish our grievances and sympathize with ourselves or with somebody else in theirs over our injuries but as we hope to be pardoned for our offenses against God We are to pardon all who have done evil to us I would dare say that it is a life and death matter here are some misconceptions regarding forgiveness we think that forgiving left the offender off the hook is that true I'm just going to read these because this came from the. The same article says to forgive someone who has hurt you doesn't mean you're letting that person off the hook it doesn't mean you're excusing that person for their offenses his offenses it doesn't mean that you're completely over what has been done to you it simply means catch this you are setting yourself free from that person's emotional hook that person who has hurt to you or those people who have who wronged you and I know pastors deal with this because their churches hurt them pastors hurt the congregation there's just a world of pain out there and so I may have stepped away but but that bitterness that my mother held was like a hawk holding me you understand forgiveness means that you are setting yourself free him from the control of that situation never to the misconception is that we can forgive all only when we stop hurting you know I believe you start experiencing true freedom when you start letting go right like like Judge share the very 1st day he wasn't going to grow anymore and his experience until he could forgive that friend of his who slept with his girlfriend until you can step over this line you cannot advance and the way the sanctification runs in the life saved a vacation is a daily matter the Lord brings you to these hurdles I call it a hurdle or a wall OK now we're going to deal with this 1 and then once you get through that 1 he's going to say now we're going to get through this 1 but until we get through this 1 we can't make it to the next 1 you understand. OK so we may not stop hurting for a long time but by withholding your forgiveness you are saying I'm choosing to hold on to this pain anybody want to hold on to pain now we do hold on to what we don't realize we're holding on to. But we are number 3 we think we must 1st receive an apology forgiveness is difficult enough. We may never receive that apology I took care of my father in law who was a paraplegic I was 23 years old when he came to live with me I had a baby and I was his sole care provider I took care of his catheters I took care of as a cubit I also as I bathed him I did everything for him and 1 day. Well he he said something that kind of made me mad. Here I'm taking care of him in my house I'm doing all of this for ham and I've got a baby I still have my own life I'm a wife a mother all of this and here I'm supposed to be at his every back and call Dealing only need you over here ding a ling a ling over a year and so 1 day I just said this I said you are as selfish old man and it's like instantaneous conviction comes from heaven stabbed me right in the heart and I ran into my room and I fell on the bed I said Lord forgive me why do I have this why do I do this and he says well it's called resentment are E.T.s E N T M T N T If it was a Mickey Mouse Club you could do it that way. The sentiment and I. Really I mean the Lord spelled out to me what my problem was. And you said Jodi resentment is sin and it will keep you out of the kingdom so let's work so he gave me the gift of repentance and I confessed my sins to him and I went in to make it right with George and I went in very humbly humbly. I said Grampa I'm so sorry that I that I called you a selfish old man I'm so sorry and this is what he said to me well that's all right Sis everybody has a bad day now and then. But I did not receive an apology he did not acknowledge any part of it but he was willing to let me carry it all so don't wait for that you may never get it where afraid that we won't be able to forget I will always remember always remember but I don't have to carry that pain I will always remember that I don't have to hurt right and number 5 we think we must resume the relationship now I'll tell you that by God's grace many relationships have been healed through forgiveness but there are some who you may never be able to reconcile with that you can forgive you can let it go and let God deal with that person you can pray for that person but you have released yourself from the burden of that bitterness. Forgiveness is not what we do for others it is what we do for ourselves so that we may get well and move forward. What about when you can't forgive yourself say my sin is too great well. Page $52.00 says jesus loves to have us come to him just as we are sinful helpless dependent we may come with all our weakness our follies our sinfulness and fall at his feet in penitence it is his glory to encircle us in His arms of love to bind up our wounds and to cleanse us from all impurities so when you feel like you cannot forgive yourself you must accept his forgiveness for you accept his forgiveness often our past is going to come back those wrongs that we have done will come back to our mind remember where is the battle that's right here the devil's going to bring that back what do you say when that happens I gave you some tools yesterday what do you say you can't answer what do you say together and a new creature in Christ Jesus the all is passed away behold all things have become new now that's when you guys need to memorize in fact if you've been writing down these bible verses your Simon is to memorize every single 1 of them plus those statements. Zachariah 3 verses 4 through 7 says look I have caused your iniquity to pass for me and he says look I've done it already I have taken that sand away don't let it get you down again it's not there the guilt is not there remember the exchange I took vats and I gave you mine but if you want it back you can have it any time don't take it back it's not yours you be longs to Jesus right. Micah $71000.00 I love he will have compassion upon us he will subdue our iniquities and cast all our sins to the depths of Lake Superior and that's pretty deep isn't it and it's cold and nobody wants to go down there to dig it up steps to Christ page $52.00 here is where thousands fail they do not believe that Jesus pardons them personally individually they do not take God at His word it is the privilege of all to comply with the conditions to know for themselves that pardon is freely extended to every sin for every sin. But how can I forgive and hurt so much again you may have been rejected by a parent you may have faced a divorce that left you alone with your children to raise and to care for by yourself you may have been abused as a child you may have anything taken advantage of robbed all of those things cause pain but without me you can do nothing it is Grace That's what grace is it steps between you and your pain and helps you to let it go so without me you can do nothing how can I forgive my father's when I'm holding on to this pain it's only through the grace of God He says Let me let me fight for you and that me 5 for you because he's never want to he's never lost a case that has been committed to his care. Jesus on the cross I died for this the Jesus have a reason to be angry. You look at the history of Israel how often was he rejected how often what did they play the harlot commit adultery he faced it all he was bruised a battered abused spat on so that he could say Father forgive them for they know not what they do if you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you now when do you need to go and ask for forgiveness is that a hard thing to do sometimes it is because you have to humble yourself you have to swallow your pride and go to that person and confess what you did eg knowledge your guilt don't just say I'm sorry for what I mean he'll come to me he'll say I'm sorry honey I'll stay for what wives you do that right or what tell me why are you sorry but I have had to go to this man here and ask for His forgiveness in 2 years or some of the ways that I've cheated him and it's humbling we don't want to admit that we have any part to do with the problems in our lives but when you do it there's such a. Moment that pain is gone you have relief that's a forgiveness does for you leave your gift you can even go before the Lord until you go make it right with your brother leave your gift go your way 1st be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift because then you come clean my dad Danny and I never had the opportunity to know him. And I'll tell you what and I'm not being boastful here he really missed out on not knowing us. We missed out my grandmother missed out you know how precious grandmothers are I would have loved to sit with my mammal and hear her tale meal stories about living up on the mountain you know I found this picture as a gift car of 1 of those postcards and it had this very mountain hit people you know on a little cabin I thought that's probably what my my family is you know I'm living in the hills of Arkansas and I am for a nail took me to where they lived and it was. My you know and she took me to where their their grave site was and it's like wow hard missed out on so much we all did because of selfishness my bitter about him no. It's not worth it it's not worth my how to hold it in this 1 thing I do are getting those things which were behind and reaching forth to those things which are ahead we have so much more ahead of us God has taken us to places around the world to preach the Gospel we were in the Philippines in these pastors with pick someone from our team OK you're going to preach tonight you're going to go over there to that church and preach and I was selected to go by myself from the city away from the rest of our team I didn't he didn't even get to go with me and I had to go to another church the very 1st Filipino church established in the islands. And I had to preach before those people. Would never have that opportunity but God had a plan for my life I'm going to take this little girl who stood along the fence line has left to be chosen is just has her head down like this I know it's going to be. And I'm going to put up before thousands of people to preach the gospel. And he's changed my life I'm standing up before you guys not because it's like I just want to stand up before you guys but no because he said Go and tell what great things I have done for you and I'll tell you what was happening also in my life by me sharing this with you I'm getting victory I'm overcoming them by the word of my testimony and these things are personal you know like everybody has to hear it if the sun therefore shall make you free you shall be free indeed anyone want to be free you want to experience true freedom if you have. A road of bitterness in your heart today take some time after this seminar and pray ask God to give you the grace that you need to let it go let it go let it go and ask him to fill you with a heart of compassion and love and to give you the opportunity to go to that person and tell that person I forgive you and then whatever happens after that we have it up to him they would up to the Lord He is a want to direct our steps right we cooperate with him in the. Lord Jesus thank you so much for your grace that is stronger than our bitterness help us each 1 Lord as we wrestle with you in some of these very personal very difficult circumstances in our lives but you will give us victory. And as we continue our walk with you. We can overcome any. As we stay connected. In Jesus and. 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