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4. Treating Worries, Anxieties, and Guilt

Dr. Sung Hyun Um Jewel Um

Conference

Recorded

  • June 19, 2017
    11:00 AM
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I think for once again that we have so many here no you'll be blessed and so let's more hits your dog a prayer. As he speaks to us again we want to be rebuilt through your grace and through your Holy Spirit through him name. Good afternoon everyone we have a quite a bit to cover because you know as you might have noticed that there's a lot to talk about in terms of the kind of healing that caught wants to bring in our lives on the level of our minds and as we have mentioned as much as there is broken as in our emotions which is in a limbic system right we talked about yesterday as much as there is has been a spin Don in our brain interims of our emotional brain and therefore when our emotion is 1 day it then our thought patterns are wounded as well right so all of those wounded ness and brokenness are on a unconscious level and then it's almost like I said it's almost automatic you know I mean we don't have to think certain way which is like automatically think certain way and then X. certain way and then feel certain way and and that's what makes it very very difficult and so then what we're called to do which is not an easy thing to do is to bring the stuff that are on a you know unconscious level to the what conscious level stuff that we may not be aware of we need to bring it to when or where it has in our lives and that's why eating healthy eating well is very important because your problem is our dollar. By eating ramen or the time or. By eating Kinch over time you know if our minds are tall but then we're not going to be able to think straight you know the problem with the medications you know some of you may have to take medications but unfortunately is the some of the issues with medication like you know depression med all kinds of medical I'm not a ganster of medication in terms of you know what it can do for our body you know if you have a choice between bad and worse you know you have to choose medicine some time and you have to live with that but the problem with the medication is a sometimes it it does in a side effect is like we can't think straight and actually you know it kind of works for some people because you know some people think too much therefore medication comes in and then makes and not to think too much but then that's not that's not the problem you know problem is that you know when the medication comes Ian in such a way that not only we're not able to things straight but our mind is not functioning well then really just leave you become very deeply tating kind of situation and that's really really disheartening for me to win this especially in the lives of young people you know. And so then our goal ultimately is to get on a journey where we will be from will be free from Medicaid Of course I'm not a doctor don't court me for it. Passer him told me to take up the medication then you know I mean don't quote me for it you know please contact your lies it OK And so we've got to use our mind and therefore therefore if you don't like to study if you don't like to study your intro or. You know somebody told me that I do can I study the Bible by just watching the video on the bio about the viable or then you can only go so far we are the people of the books and God wants to come into the realm of our mind in such a way there are thoughts and minds that would be wild capture by the thoughts of God's word Amen karts word is very very thoughtful how many ladies are very thoughtful. Ladies are so thoughtful or their god is like going crazy. I can't catch up with you or Tintin margin Oh and then woman or woman has been thinking all night all day. You know we're going to talk about that tomorrow some ladies can go on in can with our sleeping for the next 10 years and still function OK I mean it's amazing. If I lose sleep 1 night then I collapse. So women are given with an amazing amazing ability to to to you know recover and restore but we can not abuse it right and so. The trouble for me. Conducting this class I must tell you trouble for me as I continue to go on with this class is that it's like my struggle is like R. and I need to talk about the theology of Celtic era but I have no time for. Oh I need to talk about that I need to talk about this there's so much to cover and I can only do so ma and I'm hoping I'm hoping. It is not about me I'm hoping that this kind of class will be a beginning of something that God wants to do with all of us. We have a decisive center we have a place where in very spring where we can host like 40 people comfortably. And it has not been used well and I'm willing to open up my center on weekends and I want to really deal with real people with the real issues and then and then allow the Gospel of Jesus Christ to really bring transformation in our lives Amen amen and so I want to do that and I've been trained to do it I wish my wife would be here she trained me I. Command her training was not easy it was tough. I almost wanted to leave. That training program you know. Because I didn't know that I signed up for it. And you didn't know that the are America you know with marriage you automatically signed up for it. You didn't know there right May was a very tough training you know so it was like after I finished my sermon I was coming home feeling bad you know I've messed up you know and then my wife goes honey. You have quite a few improvement to make I. Am going to be generous to you I'm going to be gracious to you and you have 20 things to work on. My wife and never ever get satisfied with my sermons even though she gets blessed. And so you know that's a blessing that's a blessing because if I took it as a as a sign of her not respecting me and then my my low self esteem kicked in his oats this woman like why don't you go and preach to what it feels. And then I came to a point in 1 day I said to myself you know what I'm going to be a man in a relationship I may be short but I'm going to be a real man. Good things come in small packages so so anyway as I may be you know I mean. I'm a man I want to be a man and you know what it means to be a man you know what it means to be a man. Someone can tell me what it means to be a man. Oh. Man is a if you're a man and if you're man enough and man enough to even braze criticism. Constructive criticism without taking it personally. If you have to raise your voice if you have to show yourself you know be macho you're not a real man if you have to like really like threaten somebody else you're not a real man real man is solved and high and yet And yet solved and yet firm at the same time so I came to realize that for me to embrace what my invite had to say about the way God allowed her to come into my life to improve me man. I don't need to be her enemies. And so 1 day I came to my life I came to realize that meant this is not an enemy that I slip who I'm sleeping with right and somebody says that you know somebody is about to get married and somebody wrote a card as a love your enemy. And I came to a point in my life where I came to realize that she's not my enemy she's not out there to kill me job they're destroying me she's not out there to make my life needs are of all we are we're T.M. she can be my coach and she speak English better than me she doesn't have sound you know. So you're learning to be a team husband and wife you learn to be a team don't fight each other fight with yourself that's a greater fight to fight him it is so much talk about but that's the problem. OK. In surrounding our lives to God we reap great advantages for we have weaknesses of character as we are have we unite ourselves to 1 who is mighty to save our ego annoyance think about this you know what it is wise it is you become instantaneous to your wise will you and I come to realize you know what I am ignorant don't you become instant to realize a moment how many of you how many you want to be instantly instantly I mean instantaneously to be wise how many of you want to be instantaneous to be wise OK say to somebody else next to you you know I'm really ignorant so they say that. OK. Let's use a let's use a real language let's use a real engine. I I can be I can be pretty stupid say that to each other. And then add 1 more thing. And sometimes sometimes I do some stupid things say to each other. And then say it is 1 more time 1 more time not only on a regular round I'm insisting on my ignorance. And 1 more word. And I am so. I am so a good. Person waiting others to buy into my ignorance. Oh. You know me. You know I'm saying. Then. You know what we just did. What we just did was the fact that not only we're ignorant. If you persist in ignorance and if you keep on you know to developing your tactics on you know persuading others for your ignorance then we are growing in our ignorance. What ever you reap is you grow with it. So that's why that's how I got so good being spent here my father spent years in. 10 spanking it's not working it's years yet because I got good at it I'd built a resistant for it and then my father you know to see it gets worse and worse that's the problem with finding that's a problem with arguing and that's a problem with any kind of on healthy patterns in our lives the more you use it the more we get good at it to morrow we get good at it the more it becomes destructive and the impact that he has on as can be detrimental So my question is afternoon as we begin our conversation what kind of patterns are you willing to grow in your life who has a choice. Who has a choice. Not even God has a choice you have a choice I have a choice I don't like to use the word decision you know I'm very careful about not using the word decision because decision has to do with your circumstances what's out there your choice you're deciding between what's out there you have but choice. Choice while decision has to do with your realm of your you know life that you're surrounded by what you see what you feel you know what you deal with your circumstances and happenings and all that but once you begin to shift your gear from decision making to a choice Meeking. Then on the level of choice you're beginning to create something that those an even dozen people it doesn't seem to even it even though it may not be there you can create it. Choice is a relevant creation. So make sure that you say to yourself I choose to create love in my relationship with my spouse and then I choose to create love you have that power of choice and it's something that I can do to get our even runs will be united to infinite wisdom our frailty to enduring might and like Jacob we may each become a prince with a prince with God connected with the Lord God of Israel we shall have power from above which will enable us to be overcomers Amen this is no meeting amazing quotation I can just and with this quotation today there's just so much there and by the impartation of Divine Love we shall find access to the hearts of men we shall have fasten our trembling grasp upon the throne of the infinite and other words you know to more you get to know God the more you get to know God the more you become heart to heart with God and that's the only way God wants to meet you. God hates the superficial ality God hates Assad God hates masking God has i hate us being on real and that's what all new way to meet God is to meet God in the sauna of life. Did I pronounce the right. Some kind of weird to me. I'm used to seeing sour you know anyway you see only way to me is to meet God in a place of nakedness. God is a naked God for a naked people I mean don't quote me wrong in a wrong way. God is attracted. To the raw material or if you know what I'm talking about God likes it raw. God like organic no past the side nothing else sugar coat or nothing just real stuff that you are a minute and then when you get in touch with Die Hard to God What happens then you look how to get in touch with people hard to heart and that's that's an AMAZING I'M A There's art of arts being able to come in touch with a heart to heart you know how amazing that is when I talk to my wife you know for doing a minute and really call heart to heart is almost like bring me to tears like why. This is so amazing my heart starts to hurt in a different way. So precious heart to heart when people come to us for counseling come to us for prayer and you just talk to them like a couple minutes and then during dinner ready you are never seen these people you don't even need to speak in English to connect but. When Christ come into your hearts in such a way that your heart is touched and be nourished and swell with love then it is going to be like dynamite. It's going to attract and draw the hearts of people until you have ever seen you know meet people that that who takes the energy out of you. They will as soon as you want you and think about that person and just the energy is already out. But we don't even know that we are there kind of people too sometimes. It. Cries was so much in touch with God heart to heart. There is the energy coming in our duty just so much soul that just to be even closer to Jesus or love people to be healed. A myth God created you and I with Dak kind of energy Amen amen don't have time to finish so I want to take a look at this grace of God came We're going talk about the grace of God how it came in a place of what brokenness case in a place of weakness the grace of our came in a place where less really together grace of God came in a place where what we most needing it while we are deserving it. Is that amazing we've lost needing it and yet world we live is deserve it and if someone come up to me as a pastor you don't know me I don't deserve God career is there what do you say well that's the only way to receive God's grace I know for sure you receive it because it is for those who may not deserve it. And yet needing it and God's grace and God's the Gospel of Jesus Christ comes to us in in a paradoxical way when we least deserve it most needing it and therefore it is here with us. We talked about 3 kinds of brokenness is dear remember 3 brokenness is 3 B.S. remember 1st 1 is what bankruptcy you can cheat on it OK 1st 1 is bankruptcy and 2nd 1 is what while universal so well advantages and then 3rd 1 is what blind in his eye want to do that you really remember a disease or a really powerful construct you know what's amazing is that in the book of John in the book of John. Jesus Our address is to us to did this simplicity a spirit of conditions that we bring to God and that's amazing Which chapter in the book of John Jesus dealt with the issue of bankruptcy the power and witnesses which chapter you member I don't want to spend too much time chapter what is a chapter or just bad 5000 people Chapter 6 chapter 66 and 5 you know go together 6 and Chapter 16000 people and then he says about I am though our bread of life. If you were 3 Korean I and. Brown rice of life. And when I went to Africa Ethiopia you know in Tehran in Prague rise and they're eating everything with this is their odds are you know it's like a tank a covering kind of for men to the 1 everyone it's with that and so when I went to Africa Europe here and I said I paraphrase that I said I am but they're out of life and they're like going crazy. And it is an amazing that in our place of bankruptcy in our place of being out of resources in our place of weaknesses and broken lives and and in that place where all the resources are exhausted what we need to replenish our salt what we need to get out of this bank instead of bankruptcy into what Word of God. Word of God We need to let the Word of God to feed us in a way that we get out of this state of bankruptcy and that's a meeting we don't have time to dwell on that and the 2nd thing is a bondage What is the earth timid form of bondage that a human being can experience in life what is it to have right when you died what happen. Nobody can rescue you when you die you know the way you died that's the way you're going to remain you know if you die like this then it's going to be really hard for anybody to you know take it back here you almost have to what break it it's a bondage whatever the way you die you stay with it no 1 can take you out of it and do 4 or commit form of bondage is that and then any any way that it that are not of God leading us to a life of what that. That we need to take sincere Eocene that way and so what we will do you find the bondage in the book of John John Chapter 11 Jesus what brought Lazarus out of that city has brought Lazarus out of bondage by telling us by doing that Jesus is telling you and me that he can rescue you from whatever the bondage we may be in a man will be are called Action drug addiction whether be the control freak How many of your control freak don't raise your hand your net originally yeah you have to control everything about everybody around you actually those who are in a place of control sometimes not all the time they tend to be out of control bondage I am the resurrection teacher can rescue us from the point of bondage and then how about the blindness John Chapter 9 in Looks like I can chip in. I am the light of the word you know so with that let's continue now we're going to talk about something that's very very important why in the word you and I are needing to to be rebirth it why do we need to be born again can someone tell me why we need to be born again according to the Bible. Yes and then Maurice venders says something really powerful he says you know we need to be born again because there's something wrong with our 1st birth. Because you and I need him to be what really parental rights and therefore we need to be born again because 1st Perth brings so much it was the lesson passed in our lives even though we cannot go back to our childhood in a way because all allow us to go back. Is that amazing we can start all over again in Christ how many of you really appreciate that Emmett how many of you like it when my daughter was like 16 years old I look at her as that I was driving I was looking at her she's she's grown up as a wall time has gone by so fast and I said. Hey you have grown up and I thought she was going to say yeah I'm grown up dad you know buy me a car. But instead instead her little child came out right in that moment and then she said. I don't want to grow up. You know to me there's a little girl or a little boy inside of us. We don't want to grow up because. Because especially when we feel like we lost our childhood and we talk about that we lost our childhood in a way that that there is a huge loss that's a loss that we get sad and then we get we get angry about that and let's just briefly talk about this this whole process of you know Reaper which is really amazing to me you remember you remember the chart that I gave you it is only in the context of the identity we discover who I am right and therefore since we have been so much affected by a parent in a way that is detrimental Sometimes we need to read parented by and other we identified with Jesus and him being our Heavenly Father and Lord and then we are and I get to be reimported rented by Jesus and the Holy Spirit they meant. Yeah so there's a new life in Christ so Book of John just make a very simple book of John talks about 2 kinds of birth OK the natural birth you and I have is a birth that are from below so John chapter 1 verse 13 talks about born from above in the early onset of the book of John John tells us that since you and I are born from below by him by husbands will by human you will by a human passion and all that and then our 1st birth from the low brow so much it will end in it's in our laws John tells us we need to be born again from what above Amen and that's leasing and then John Chapter $25.00 has a portable water and spirit and John chapter 3 verse 7 is that you must be born again born of water and so the way we are going to be born again is to be poll again by the Holy Spirit and you know no the Holy Spirit doesn't come until the Holy Spirit uses the word of God to give us an understanding and power to overcome what we can overcome and John Chapter 7 verse 38 whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said streams of living water will flow from what Within this is a maging amazing promise in that holy spirit you know that water and the Spirit is talking about holy spirit here and isn't it interesting that when you and I are born in mother's womb what were we surrounded by water what were we doing in the water. Growing we were swimming. And we were swimming for 9 months so we also post know how to swim. Just kidding. And then the G. just says they here's going to use the water of the Holy Spirit we're in the Holy Spirit to bring us a new birth in Christ and yeah and it's a beautiful beautiful picture and then Jesus says that when you are born again by the water of the Holy Spirit and then something is going to happen in your belly you know what I'm not a scientist but study shows that so many value of all hormones get this even even though like dolphins and so many valuable home and especially for a woman as well as our Creator it not in the brain like some of the 90 percent of some of the there's no hormones gets created in the world. That's why eating well eating healthy and when you eat there is no point in eating healthy food like grudgingly. And so when you eat healthy organic food thank God for it and then praise God for it you know my mom is really help and then she's been eating like organic or if she's an organic lady and to be honest with you for the 1st like when she started 2 years ago for the 1st 1 year I was like Sure it is too hardcore this training I'm not ready for. So I made my own career and you know soup and all kinds of things and so he had to cook 2 meals and sometimes you know I'm cooking for my own male and then I came to realize this is not right because I'm not really fully in the training this way so I said to myself you know what I'm great whatever she is because that's healthy for me. You know. And something amazing happen is that when you when you allow the Holy Spirit come through the Word of God God does something in our gut level our cards gets changed. And then Amen so much so that God begins to create a own many. Hormones that are just making us not only had been lively and joyous in so much energy and men caught touch is our guts when our cards and our stomach has been those source of decay and source of human desire and passion and now God uses it as a way of what being us in a new way then he becomes a source for real straight and harmony and restoration Amen Wow wants to touch your gods. On a cut level. Amen it is scientific the Word of God is so scientific that So whoever believes in me as a Scripture has said strands of living water will flow from within and you know what the tenants or original tense for that tax is ongoing our it's the tense which means you don't have the law of the detail which means that the flow of living water will come our flow out and then it is coming out and it will continue to do it well enough with the end you will continue to come up Amen that's why you and I that are need to be so interested in these reports process that the Creator wants to bring into our. It is amazing it is something that we all need chant Chapter 7 verse 9 he made it very clear by this he meant what he meant the world Spirit whom those who believed in him were later to receive this is what it is the Word of God and the Holy Spirit coming together in a Christian community searching for God to gather car is going to transform our lives from even on a hormonal level do you know that we cannot be sanctified unless God changes our homes when your hormones are raging are we able to be holy Now we could crazy horror when hormones are messed up in our lives you know we become crazy we can that's why it's drugs are so powerful it changes the way our hormones work and then we become someone that we do not even know we become we can become demonic charge of December 23 you are from the low I am from above you are of this word I am not of this world to me. How many of you desire today you know asking God Lord. I'm from down below you want to give me the life from above. I want to have you my life so bad how many of you. I want that in my life I want to be born again Amen. Re parental by the power of the Holy Spirit this is an amazing text 3 must statement in the book of John there are 3 must statement in the book of John that you find 1st is John chapter 3 verse 7 I'm sorry this is a mistake John chapter 3 verse 7 and then 2nd my statement is found in John chapter 3 verse 14 and then 3rd 1 is John chapter 3 verse 30 and 1st his ass just says you must be born again being religious is not a buy you must be born again so how must How must How much how much we need to be born again how much most it's must. You know I mean there's a guy who's been preaching about discernment of our need to be born again for 1 year people got so fed up with him and they almost wanted to you know just fire him and so they created Committee 1 of the representatives went to him and then ask him Hey Pastor you've been preaching about you know John chapter 3 verse 7 per the past 1 years and I want to ask you how long you're going to preach that sermon. And is that until you become. Until you're born again I'm going to keep preaching that sermon so this is the key human dysfunction and the level of the wilderness has gone so deep we study about that Monday and Tuesday in on it reaches from the day we are poorly conceived in mother's womb. And they'll 4 Therefore there is no healing possible through you know psychological intervention through human counseling none not to see you know denying all the needs of those things but fundamentally fundamentally we are flawed in such a way the level of that intensity of being so close so dear and there is no humanity that can save us and allow us to experience transformation in many human education can only modify us but transformation comes from above and Christ is making that of bailable readily for all of us Amen you know what I never ever experienced this kind of you know in more working of the Holy Spirit on till I turned 20 years of my age you know I grew as P.K. and I grew up as perfect kids and all that and then and then and then I. And then my friends and I my friends and I we decided to fast we decided to fast for 1 week. Because because all of a sudden it dawned on me that we're about to graduate and go out and be a pastor what if someone come to me and they have Pastor how do you how do you do fasting while I never done in my life but the book says. It doesn't sound right as I got to experience it for my professional needs so with 2 of my friends for a trio of us went to you know a place called Dear mountain in Korea found out that there is no deer in the mountain but I don't know why they call Deer Mountain and we went there and then give any of us were there because we were trying to keep an eye on each other so the oil would eat anything right. And the funny thing was their funny thing was that we only brought 2 things I don't know why but we only brought 2 things 1 is oranges. And then the other 1 is kin cheese soup. Somebody says that after fasting you drink soon it's going to allow yourselves to come alive in a way that is just unbelievable so we brought him cheese soup and oranges 1st day was no problem 2nd day was the hardest I was lying down trying to beat up by a ball only thing I could think about was food. And I happened to go in the manager's house to draw some water and guess what they were making clear. The smell of her eyes was like so heavenly and I was looking around I was almost tempted to scribble little bit but you know I knew that angels are there I know and I know that my friends can come in and you know really put me in jail you know and so I said OK I'm going to and I can eat that and then from the 3rd the day of meeting to begin to happen we were just drinking waters and we were in our twenty's. And I started to drink waters and then during a lots of water but amazing thing was that in me maybe Chaz kind of gross. But even though I didn't eat anything only thing I'd been drinking was water I've been detoxing everything but bad bad odor and smell like sewage. Totally smell like sewers coming out of my body and then coming up even in even if I breathed you know didn't take the brush and everything brushing didn't work the 3rd day I mean I was like feeling yucky and then I came to realize that. What's not going in what comes out of you. And then amazing thing happened in that by the time we got to endure that their day we had a hard time walking so can you imagine each of us. You know relying on the cane. We got this branches and we were relying on it trying to go up to a letter which was only like 1520 letters and it was not high we went up by the time I got up there Holy Spirit hit me so hard that I knew it was working of the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit started to tell me son you are so dependent on food 3 meals a day you are so depend on the need and then you think that you are somebody somewhere you're so we've been so out humble yourself before the Lord and then by the time I got up there Holy Spirit just totally over overcame me and I had to just like prostrated before God I'm going to. Please help me and then on a shooting happened in that I thought I was going to reveal some real secret dark sins in my life right on that moment but God began to show my life like a parent Penn Aramic way from beginning to feel now what 20 years is short time but. There is a quite a bit that went on and then and then not being sticks with me but the only thing that stuck with me was this and then I had to repent for it I thought I was going to reveal something human sin in my life but you know what I came to realize that there is no such thing as small sins in my life because the stuff that God revealed to me was the way I treated my sister. Because when she may like I would bring my friends you know I'm Korean backpacked and I was more Korean you know enemy and back then I would not even go into the kitchen you know that kind of thing so I would like order my sister when I bring my couple my friends like 10 of my friends pay make Raman for us she would make ramen for 10 people was a lot of ramen to make and by the time ramen comes to us it's already like you know what you say are already like you know it's not it's not you know it's you don't get the words. You know it's not really fresh it's already like you know kind of you know not spoiled Not yet still kind of yeah it's not really crunchy anymore a crunch that's the word I was looking for and saw so I was like chastised my sister his sister you should do better in less time how come you can I didn't make ramen right. And that night Laura was rebuking me song if you're going to treat your sister that way your marriage is ruined. You need to repent you need to be thankful you need to be appreciative and then an obscene came to me was the way I treated my brother I would come home from school and he would be already sleeping in his bed I would wake him up I got so mad because he didn't spread my bed and sleep I'm an older brother all this in the family how dare he go to sleep with you know that I was kind of on healthy thinking that I had and I would weaken heart and he was a nice guy he was grudgingly you know get up early he would spread my bed while he was sleeping I don't know how he did that. And then just work. I would just lie down and fall asleep in peace without thinking anything and then I Holy Spirit tells me that you're a sinner you're not sensitive to the needs of your brother you don't treat your brother that way man that night I repented my sin I was cross and in 12 or. Die I'm never do that if you're not I'm going to turn very sincere will never see me dragoon for me more. To make the wrongs are stored at the end of the week we were able to read the entire Bible the body was able to find tranquility then I came to realize the man shall not lead by breath of or put forth by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God and then at the end of that fasting we broke the fast by eating oranges and by eating his. Men men men men I was given like his much of a portion I was drinking Little by little almost like a communion and was asked why. But then I cannot wait to get back home. Because I have to make up with my sister and brother I remember being on a bus that was stop. Every town it was stopped but whenever it starts I would hear the birds literally singing in Korean birds don't sing in Korean birds crying. The 1st time in my life I hear birds really seeing as like wow this is amazing this is a new day and as soon as I came home I could not wait to see my brother or sister so as soon as I got home I looked pale of course and then I brought my sister and brother next to me and then I said you know what brother and sister I have some can pick up to that point I never said I was sorry but but undead there I brought my brother and sister you know what I have a confession to when I said that my sister and brother look at me and said. Broader and broader You have been with you have been without food for too long. And you don't think straight. Why don't you eat 1st NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I don't I'm straight I'm clear. And I said to my sisters I'm so sorry for the way I treated you I'm so sorry for the way I treated you my project of course after that experience I had many many moments of these are weakening through the Holy Spirit. But there was nothing like being touched by the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives amen and I fell as stole the Spirit came and then came and cons of the PIRA roots in my brain and of course it's not him 1 time experience it's an ongoing spirit spirit come and the Spirit leads us to a cross that's what happens if your Holy Spirit led me to the cross literally lead me and allow me to realize that I'm a sinner before God I'm a broken man I am weak and I am needing God's salvation 100 percent whenever the Holy Spirit come Holy Spirit leads us to the cross whenever the Holy Spirit leads us to a cross we come to an experience where he continued to increase we continue to decrease it is a sign of humility humility. When the Spirit comes and bring transformation in our lives we become humble so much so that we are we are being teachable and we are coachable we're able to hear other people saying and then we're understanding things we're not defensive or offensive we're now operating our lives from the point of you know lack of self but we'll be able to embrace things even the things that are very very intimate and vulnerable we will have that courage to embrace things let's read this passage together we read this together when the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart it transforms the life simple thoughts are put away evil days are we now nts love humility and his takes the place of anger and then strife joy takes the place of sadness and the countenance reflects the light of heaven the blessing comes when by faith those so surrenders to God you know my wife supported me throughout my talk to her program and I asked her why she said you know what more I support you to study to get acquainted with God you become changed and I get the benefit of it. I know that I'm still a broken man in many ways there are many things that I need to learn and grow but I wouldn't be where I am now if it were not for the regenerating power of the Holy Spirit in our lives there are many many moments in my life where I would read the Bible I was study God's word I would study psychology study and study and when I come to a place my wife would come up to my my kids when they were little they would come up to me because I would go like. That why are you persecuting yourself. Because when you can that on your standing. In a way that not being hours could teach you that you have this light ball coming from Path to bottom from inside out and you know what when the light bulb of the holy spirit hits you it hits you in a way that your your your brain is on fire your brain comes alive is like a true lie therefore like in the spark you again you're getting things again near making sense a minute. I have all the scriptures there so you can take a look at it since time is running out and now you come to realize that as you're born again he becomes your father father of the father of this image though you may have been fatherless but he is your father everlasting Father nursing mother midwives 1 who gives birth mother hen It's a meeting it's all imagery of birth he's actually giving new birth from above a man and then this is amazing I want to tell you this and then 1 more stop this is amazing this is amazing in that no matter how much we feel abandoned or rejected by our parents I remember talking to 1 lady who was cool came to me for counseling and she was in her thirty's she went through a horrendous deals you know in life were her mother die a martyr actually didn't die but her modder ran away she doesn't know the detail but he would continue to have does nightmare of the mother kind of looking lady coming up in her dream wearing white Korean traditional dress and then she would carry her around the rice field and the rice field can be very very like where the and then you know Muddy and all that and then he would just like a dropper right there and issue take off. She would have this nightmare for the past 30 some years she came to me for counseling and then I came to realize that that mother whom she never met in memory I mean the lady who dropped her was her mother and so I came to a day when I had to come from her this is the hardest part in counseling you have to confront somebody with the truth and I knowing how difficult it would be for her to embrace this part of healing process and I said you know what if I say this you're going to get mad at me if I say these you may throw things at me if I say this you may never want to see me anymore if I date is you may think that you know I am not really you know on her side so I prepared all work she became more and more interesting question tell me just tell me I'm ready and I said dear lady even though you've been molested and all of that you had to endure all kinds of abuse in on that and thinking that it's your mother who just dejected you and rejected you and abandoned you without knowing the whole story I want to tell you that you need to for a key your mom as soon as I ordered the word forgiveness she got so mad like the way I imagine and she just like Grand Isle it is like how dare you tell me to forgive my mother says the 1 who did jack to me reject him it made my life miserable she ran out and she ran so fast I was trying to follow up to her men when a woman is mad and run away she runs really fast. She was already caught if you're in it by the time I got out of the parking lot she wouldn't in the car ready to live and only thing I could do I said you know what forgiveness is not something you can do on your all God is the only 1 who can give you the gift of forgiveness. And ever since then she didn't even call me for over a month and my kids and I we were sitting and praying for her 1 day she soon had home and at this time horror has totally changed before her voice was like so down and you can tell she's very depressed but when she called me I was still remember past her. And I didn't know leaving that high up and. Going to visit her. As a OK Miss is someone who did the same thing. She said last night for the 1st time in my life the burden has been lifted nor has taken bad spirit of bread bitterness in my heart and I was able to for a game the mom know whom I never met in my memory the reason why she came to counseling was because 1 day she had this little girl that she just had she was finding herself choking her neck. As if there's something wrong with me and she came to counseling she came to realize that she has been harboring resentment and anger and bitterness will point where it just grew out of proportion were eat became explosive connive in control I mean hurting your own daughter but until when she learned this amazing truth of the buy things didn't change but when she learned this. She began to change let's take a look at this old lord Psalm 139 really powerful passage Let's read that together care how we read that together I know time is almost up let's read that together or Lord you have searched me and know me you know when I see it when I write you perceive my pass from of far you deserve my going out and my lying down you are familiar with all my ways before a word is on my tongue you know it completely Lord man God is so into me he knows our heart and mind before I are only in those in a minute. I mean you would like your husband to be that way. How many would like your wife to be that way you know how many Gods clearly involve in our lives and now let's continue you hand me in behind and before you have laid your hand upon me this is a literal this is not symbolic You see you know how God created Adam with his own hand right he didn't say let there be a man even though he could have done that he didn't do that he formed a man with his own head shows like dad he come into the place of inception and conception he's the 1 starting to start to form you and me think about that continue wonder for such knowledge to continue such knowledge is what too wonderful for me to love to me for me to attain and then where can I go from your spirit where can I go from your presence if I go up to the heaven you are dead if I make my bed in the Dead Sea you are there if I rise on the wings of the dawn if I settle on the far side of the sea even or. Your hand will guide me your right hand will hold me fast. You think he's there in Michigan to. Remote place of Michigan down stair up stair wherever we may be this is amazing for you create my in most being you need me to gather in my mother's womb mother's womb I praise you because I am fearfully wonderfully made your works are wonderful I know that full well let's read it all together my frame was not he didn't from new when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my body all the days all day and for me were written in your book before 1 of them came to be Amen how precious to me are your thoughts oh god how vast is a some of them were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake I'm still with you search me O. God and know my heart test me know my anxious Star see if there is any of pensive way in me and lead me in the way of the velocity while Satan makes us to believe and thing to like that girl that modern ditched him in modern abandon me and I'm not on 1 I'm not 1 to you and I was never a simple I was never I was never supposed to be born and all that is going on the truth of the matter again sentence lies and distortion truth of the matter is that not only Jesus was there as the Creator He is the 1 who phoned you in mother's room he has visited you. And he has stayed with you for ever and never ever left you he followed you from mother's womb all the days of your life until now. That's why since all of us have been visited by carts so 1st visitor was Tejas. Since all of us were visited by God since all of us were visited by Jesus we missed that visit we want that visit. And the spirit comes allow us to be in his presence and when Christ when the Holy Spirit brings his presence he brings his presence in such a way that it creates a kind of bonding that nothing else can create a sense of Huling and restoration in a way that nothing else can. Destroy truth I want to end with this note to you know who we are at the core of who I am 1 time. You know my wife God movie set and so I had to pay attention to her sickness so the more I tried to do ministry 2 more I you know I didn't do it right I didn't do it you know a balanced way I didn't do it in a way that brings healing imprints Rastan all that I was going 100 miles an hour my personality is like I have so much energy cars give me so much energy I can go a 100 miles an hour and then my wife to follow me chase have their me and then later on like whoa love will turn into Hayden all those who will love and hate religion which I didn't understand. But I can still go 100 miles an hour since I'm getting or there it helps me and i energy level went down a little bit. And so what happened was that my car sick and she was just piri piri piri basically exhausted she's the kind of woman who knows how to take care of others other people in an expense of not being able to care herself funny thing was even funny crazy thing was Are you ready for this I've married my wife who was exactly like my mom. So don't hate your mom because you will end up being just kidding. But anyway my mom and it was found in my wife and my wife was the same like my mom uses giving and giving and giving and I was like like getting more out of it more out of it never allowing her to be replenished and so I stopped ministry because ministry begins with home right without my why I can so I had to minister to my life so I stopped everything I told the church and I'm I'm taking a break and then Monday came along I had to get up and as I was trying to get up 1st time in my life I became somewhat depressed it's like why do I need to get I don't know I don't know what to do with my life anymore because I had been a pastor and my father was a pastor my brother is a pastor my sister married a pastor that's the only thing I know what do I do next in this leg losing purpose losing focus and then I remembered the words that I would say to the depressed people I would tell them that you know what you don't feel like getting up crying in your teeth and get out and as I was trying to do there's something turn on me something dawned on me that is that even though is by killing off the onion skin I'm no longer a pastor I'm no longer a husband I'm no longer and you know anything I'm long a cousin no longer on call 1 when when when God started to fill up everything everything and then finally I read to the core and then guess what I found at the core at the core I found even though I no longer pass in the world I no longer any of those titles or projections that I used to enjoy and be identify with and I came to realize that as the core even though I felt like I lost everything but at the core. There is something that no 1 and nothing could take away unless you give it away it is I was still a song and child of God. Child. That's what you have at the core no matter what people say no matter how you may feel in the Olympic system no matter what what kind of story that you grew up with what color lies are you believe in and 1 wonder why Satan says about your origin your beginning despite of all that at the core you are there is a mark of car that you were created by God You are the child of God. No 1 and nothing can take that away from you and I'm going to end with this note at the core you and I are intimately connected with God in such a way that at the core we are a poor decision in cries while we were a slave to sin slaves to sell cars rescue us to a place where we become areas of God in a receiving inheritance of God we become a child of God we become sons of God in that that's what securing us nothing else not the way my life treats me not the way my husband treats me not the way I've achieved in a calm voice what the cure is you is a security card is given us through Jesus Christ then you and I are child children of God as His sons and daughters that's where we find our earthly security and I let me ask you and let me finish with this appeals are we acting like 1 are we acting like sons and daughters of God in order to be accepted or are we acting like 1 to cause we are ready to came as 1. Are we acting like want to be accepted or are we acting like 1 because God has given us the keys of science shaped by giving us to new birth in Christ or allowing us to be born again from of BAF we become a child and heir of God in that nothing no matter what happened in your life nothing and no 1 can take that core of South that car has given us through Christ amen. When I discovered that it just 3 Elm I saw it I kinda realized the hour yeah that's true how much Father God has not seen has changed nothing has changed and tomorrow we're going to study more about this therefore I want to read the scripture there for strength in your feeble arms and we need to make a level pass for your feet so that the legs may not be disable but rather here or. We may fall down from time to times we may have breakdowns in our lives do you know where we have to where we experience breakthrough do you know where we experience breakthrough in our lives in the place of breakdown. That's the place of breakthrough. They God help us so that we may experience what God desires for us to experience so today we only cover the half of it. And then I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow tomorrow actually I'm supposed to talk about depression from my own experience from my own you know empirical experience with people I'm so much talk about anger so I have those charts with me so with Mark tomorrow I'm going to have to like you know talk about everything the way I can. But you know if not then find some other times to do it you know thank you for your interest and thank you for your love for God your passion for learning and grow it inspire each and every each and every 1 of you inspire me so much this time and I'm walking away from this place realizing that while I've got to go back and pray more study more and dig in and discover more too to Blessed is amazing amazing people who comes to Michigan can't meaning Amen amen Yeah so that's the that's the trouble I mean but tomorrow we'll do the best we can OK And then I'm just wondering I don't know I'm just wondering I'm just wondering throw this out to you I'm just wondering if some of you are willing to come earlier I don't know if your your lunch schedule and all that I'm willing if you're willing to fucus there is no way I can finish all of that so if I want to do justice to the message I have 1 more message that I need to share to complete this whole thing and then I need to talk about the issue of anger and depression which is a very very important topic I'm not an expert I'm not a medical doctor but I'm looking at it from the Bible in a biblical perspective so if you're interested I don't know maybe maybe we can meet at 1 o'clock. Well look. I don't I don't want to torture you guys you know so so let's do this let's do this because you know it made do disservice for those who can only come at 2 o'clock so I don't know I don't know how to do this part 130 OK 1 o'clock OK how many of you can come in at 1 o'clock or wow OK how many of you can come at 130. Or how many of you are not going to come just getting. Here so so tomorrow let's do this stand is if it's OK to you I mean this is a land of democracy right so let's do this I'm suggesting. Let's do it from 1 o'clock. And then for those who miss it I don't know if I'm going to talk to these people to tape me from 1 o'clock so I have any other tape from 1 to 2 and then 2 to 3315 and that way I can cover. You know quite a bit if it's possible. 10 minutes she says of how people are detailed in their way yeah yeah and so. Since my wife is not here I need help OK. From another gentleman That's good yes so is it OK for us to start at 1 o'clock is it OK for those who cannot be here and want to call it should be OK but will try to take everything OK I'm going to talk to people let's pray let's pray Dear Heavenly Father These are precious precious children of yours whom you have touched them from the beginning of their inception and concession in mother's womb. Lord they have inspired me in a way that nothing else can I trace that our journey on word will be the journey of Huling and restoration in that despite of the fact that we've been wounded will you will use it to heal the whole nation in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ may you begin in us to bring that new birth from above in every moment of our lives so that our allies would be a 1 up transformation from upon we place your name for blessing us in G. just his name Amen amen. 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