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3. Vision, Mission, and Motivation

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  • June 19, 2017
    10:00 AM
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Our Father we thank you again for the many blessings that you've given to us thank you for the chance to be together and learn more about helping your kids now we ask that you send your Holy Spirit so that the people here can hear what you have to say not the words that I use we ask this in 1 name Amen so our topic today is communication so what is communication a lot of times we're going to assume that somebody is lips are moving that communication is taking place but realistically it does involve more than talking itself there's also the receiving and listening and the things. It's a 2 fold process to this we need to add understanding frequently we think we understand what someone saying But sometimes what we hear isn't necessarily what they meant We'll get into that a little bit later for we're 1st going to look at 5 different levels of communication and we'll look at each 1 of these individually the the shallowest level the 1st 1 is Smalltalk this is the how are you what you've been to a How's it going you know this kind of stuff and if communication just stays here well. Not going to get anywhere but this can be an opening to other things and. Different cultures will ring and this is coming from an American context OK I had 1 of the gals in my club in Lansing who is from she's German and she's better at German than English but her English for Roy is pretty good. But she is a German and when she 1st came to America she was just amazed when people would say Hi How you doing and she thought they were actually asking they really wanted to know how are you and. It took her a while to figure out that they weren't looking for an extended response. Too often this is what we end up with I'm sorry I know I said hi but I really wasn't prepared for any follow up conversation and let's face it sometimes when you ask some people how they're doing The end up with an organ recycle. And most of us aren't looking for that there are times that we are but at any rate 1st level is this the shallow stuff factual conversation at this level information is shared but there's no personal comments along with it. Unifying a lot of this in the workplace and this this is very important stuff that needs to be done. Typically men are more apt to settle for this than women because a lot of guys don't want to express their feelings in get into this deeper stuff and they're more than content to talk about this fact will stuff. Ideas and opinions so here's where we're starting to actually open up an end to let people know this a little bit more something and some people are very reticent to do this until they get to know somebody a little bit but that's what this is this is about feelings and emotions Now here is a little bit different spot then the other ones because a lot of guys really don't want to get into this 1. Unless it deals with the sport. That they're interested in. Yes. Yes Yes We live in the real world we do not Leo. If if we are faithful We'll get to see the Garden of Eden. But in the meantime this is the planet we're on and I was at that exact point so. I think you were the 1 that was talking about exercise how do you log it and stuff. Somebody was wondering how to log Yesterday somebody was at any rate I brought up this is the book I use just a simple notebook that I found thrown away somewhere and I ripped out the pages that were scribbled in but I just scribble in what I do and so if I were needing to do this I would photocopy pages now to come in there anyway. I there is stuff that comes in on this thing periodically news items that it says you might be interested in this and I clicked on this 1 what to do if your gym doesn't have a shower and that I was curious what are they going to offer because guess what sometimes kids go on campus don't have showers have you noticed that. OK So basically here's the short version is a concert they said put some wipes in your gym bag. And you know that can be done. It's a it's a simple solution it's low tech. But we live in a real world now how much you're going to need him is going to depend on how big a group you've got the age of your kids if you have mostly friends and companions and heavily leaning into the boy side they weren't going to be looking to use them a lot and you might need to encourage their use instead I have observed through the years that the younger ones typically tend to get dirtier than the older ones and the younger ones are less concerned about getting dirty than the older 1. But let's face it some of the older kids when they start becoming teens become a lot more worried about these things and so it's a simple thing to do to have some wife's and you can throw out the idea to them hey you may want to throw some wipes in your in your duffel bag just to clean up with a little bit as you do that in your tent as you're getting dressed. Simple thing to add but yeah. You're right a lot of a lot of people today I think more so in this age of social media we judge people more often. There are more people being more critical of people than they used to be. And as a result some people there are some people who are going to just plain be a lot more in your face about it. And the other people are just going to they're going to retreat. Because they don't like it. So. When you are in a situation where you do end up sharing more feelings and emotions if it is a shared experience Typically this will draw people together you mentioned going to Osh Kosh brother in law. And his wife. Were at an AA shy and his wife commented afterwards she noticed that the kids who went on that were closer. They were something about that pulled them together more. Yeah. But but you're also sharing all the rest of it together too and and they probably had to work together to do stuff to get there so sometimes again you're going to gain flashes of insight into your friend's character that'll give you a better idea of what how they feel and and think. A good combination is to alternate between the levels of ideas opinions feelings and emotions not just staying there deep insight isn't the going to be happening real often realistically. But this is a kind of stuff that makes deep impressions on both people. So we send spend about 70 percent of our waking hours in communication some by I don't know who figured this out but. Between speaking listening reading and writing and about a 3rd of this for many people is devoted to talking hey. There are people here who are thanking me for the binders here's the guy you thank for the binders. And thanks for the hat for helping out on the handout appreciate it got those. Did you have any announcements you want to make to these master guide dog. And I know there's another guy who was here but he had taken this 1 but he'll be back where ever you have a few We have we have been. Guided. By. Her. Mother. But the people have. Great. Acting. Acting. All. They did and. I don't know about where I took a couple because if I recall. They perhaps. Were Here. No no no Excellent excellent question thank you for. So all of the stuff in these cards does not have to be taught by a master guide and. Yeah and I think you're the 1 with that that alluded to something that something sometimes people take classes in child development and that kind of stuff your 2 most of the people who will sign off for C.P.R. are not master guides OK but their signature still valid if they're qualified to teach it you know and I don't know anybody that's trying to teach C.P.R. that isn't certified in it you know those that do that I know have to do a refresher on that every 3 years I think I'm not positive on that but. There are some E.M.T. S. that are qualified to teach they're all supposed to be qualified to do but not all I believe are qualified to teach it and says something else but. Could could actually question him. Getting stuff signed off on your cards if you find a course somewhere else. At work maybe in the. Community Education kind of thing in 1st aid or whatever go to it go do it have them sign it off and they're going to what's this and you can say Oh hey of our church has this really cool leadership development program and I'm privileged to be a part of it and this is 1 of the requirements for that or really. He would you be interested in Bible studies. You know you don't have to have quite that hard but you know some to it's surprising. There's a lot of folks out there. And we know something that a lot of them are looking for they don't all know it yet some of them don't know what they're looking for but a lot of them are looking and know they're looking for something but don't know what. OK. Moving on now we know the speech can go beyond just exchanging words of information we can express our feelings and. Our emotions sometimes doing this will help clarify and really reinforce our own ideas I remember reading a story about Abraham Lincoln during the war. Called for a friend to come help him figure out who was being is facing some decision or another I don't know which 1 but. That whoever it was came and they sat down together and President Lincoln talked to him for about 3 hours and the guy just listened. And by the end of that time by stating it out loud the different aspects of whatever the problem was he was able to see it but he needed somebody who would be willing to listen to him and not judge not jump in and tell him we need to do this or whatever. Sometimes just it can help clarify our thinking and reinforce ideas. Remember you know. The. Quality of. More of the. So you. Are as. You are. No more deserving. Yeah. Sometimes having a conversation is a way of passing the time getting to know 1 another. We've all done it right. The really the most basic function speaking isn't the giving of information but establishing a relationship with others the quality A is going to depend on the ability of each person to express themselves free of the light and like you said sometimes people will have barriers and are don't really want to share themselves. I get about I think it's 3 emails a day from my organizations that are wanting me to buy the books at discounted prices and they're discounted for a brief period of time and so I have the opportunity if I want to buy a lot of trash but periodically there they have some good stuff once in a while there's a freebie that's worth getting sometimes they have freebies that I don't want. But I picked up 1 that I started when I was waiting for the blood drive out and I didn't get as far into it as I wanted and have been busy since then but it's on communication and 1 of the. What I would share that I remember from that is 1 of the when you meet somebody what Among the things that you need to do is look at that person as someone who has value and what is it about them what what is it about them that you can learn. That you can help them you can learn from them. But where where is the value what is it that the Lord sees and they didn't say this in the book but you we understand the Lord looks at everyone with with it as being very valuable and so if we can learn to look at that part of somebody sometimes it makes it a lot easier to get into a little deeper and have a higher quality conversation. Sometimes Pete when people are talking it's not really because they have a lot to say. And. Yeah just talking the talk and sometimes these can promote that so I remember my wife commenting that our daughter had moved out to Iowa and taken a job out there and you know you're in like this so she's in Iowa working for a diving company. Who would expect a diving company and we're talking hard hat diving in Iowa based out of Iowa Who'd a thunk it but she had a. 2530 minute drive into work every day and so when she was driving says he'd call up mom and talk to her you know because Suzy had nothing else to do you see other drive down the road and sometimes to bid. It that haven't anybody else. Yeah. We're going to look at a few of the barriers to effective speech. 1 is the solution center they're going to weigh down in their speech with orders directives and commands get over here hurry up sometimes to be warnings and threats more than solutions if you ever do that again oh or Daunte you know enough to. Hopefully that's not heard a lot in your Pathfinder clothes let's face it some of our kids do need a little inspiration once in a while but hopefully that's not quite how we do it. A lot of us really don't want to be told that we must should or or had better in our kids or the same way there are some that resort to put downs in spite of the fact that none of us like to be put down some of them are going to judge and criticize that's not a bad idea considering you thought that or this kind is that you only say that because in the you know these may be attempts to teach and instruct but they're not the best they're not the most effective now there's the corrector you know somebody is trying to tell a story to everybody else and but they this is somebody that has to get all the facts straight Well we left on saying I think it was Thursday night just before the hot OK we left Thursday right after we got on know those later that evening LOUIS Well anyway we left and drove straight and. Never met 1 of those people. Oh. Do you think so characters seem to have a compulsion to concentrate on proper reporting sometimes it's just an attempt to draw attention to self and they show a lack of sensitivity to the fact that different people are Got always going to tell a story different ways how many gospels do we have or are they all the same. Why not. It's yeah the chav have different perspectives there's little cartoon showing the adventures of grammar man. So what will classify this 1 as a corrector right. Now this is when I spotted this on the book of faces I grab this picture because I think this is a really really nice illustration of how different if you're into in a different position you can see something totally different from somebody else and you're both seeing accurate something accurately looking at it from 1 side we have somebody seeing a square or rectangle somebody else is seeing a circle what do we see. It's a cylinder OK monologue ors these are the people that they need to talk and they will they want to have the last word and they can't bear to be corrected and they frequently have a know it all attitude typically they tend to bore others and they will cut themselves off from forming close attachments. That's just something that they do I was once in a Friday night reading we're reading through great controversy and you know we go through a Vita chapter we kind of thing you know and I don't know how many of you ever done that but once and once in a while it's easy to get sidetracked in is when you're discussing something about this and. We had a monologue or in the group. And I remember him talking about how the Catholics have taken out 1 of the. Commandments out of their Bible and and they said was No they haven't yes they have we had to do a version hold it out turn to Exodus 20 guess what it reads we're pretty close to what the King James does it really does do a version if they have the same 10 commandments in the same order that we have them in. It. In their Bible it's in their blithe bowls now they are they don't promote the study of the Bible generally I'm talking about the Catholic Bible OK So we showed this guy that in the Catholic Bible yes we they they don't teach this but in their in their Bible it's still there and I bought a month or so later he brought up the same point how the Catholics have taken it out of their bibles Yes Well this is a way to cut yourself off from forming close attachments because his nickname at work was Mr Know it all oh yes here's another barrier to communication the silent treatment. Our silence is used as a weapon or a form of control. I think it's sometimes used more by women than men on not always. When we were dating my wife got upset with me about something and tried it. And discovered I had didn't even notice. So you figure that OK not going to use that. Some of us to be very content with out to a lot of conversation some people need a lot of going on sometimes when a guy is silent. Is not limited to guys that sometimes things will can start to be boiling and rumbling inside and it's going to depend a little bit on your temperament in some way if you're melancholy some of these some of us can get really good at ruminating on things we shouldn't. Maybe it's because somebody didn't listen the last time or maybe somebody is deeply hurt. And this can happen in our churches so we need to. Obviously it's hard to keep a close touch with everybody in a congregation Lesage really small but be be aware of the fact that sometimes some people are really quiet because they've been hurt and we need to find out how we can help them so let's look at some things that work choose the right time to communicate with your friend that's. I remember years ago we lived 200 miles from my wife's family all the rest of her family lives within 5 miles. There they're just close to home and so she's says I'm the black sheep because I moved away or guess who took her. Guilty but I'm glad I gather. Anyway so we're getting ready to go down to visit we don't go down every At 1 point we were going down probably every month and a half or so we go down the visits 200 miles so. It's not a real dreadful trip about 4 hours we figured but when you've got 3 or 4 young kids getting everything loaded in the car and all the people in the car can be a project and sometimes for various reasons that are happening at the other end you need to be there by air by a certain time and you can't be there if you don't leave by a certain time to sort of how this stuff works and so what was 1 of those times where we knew we needed to leave by X. and then were at X. plus and trying to get everybody piled in and all the stuff in and my oldest son is in the car is Dad Dad and I there's this urgency in his voice and I'm wondering what is the emergency and I found out what it was and I don't remember if it was performance bicycle or Nashbar but 1 of the 2 companies had some really neat bicycling equipment that was on sale and the sale was good for about a week or so and. You know. Yes it was but however this wasn't the time to talk about it enough I'll give him credit the items on his list I had noticed and so he had good taste of it in the items but the timing was the issue. OK. So and some so sometimes when you need to throw out sort of a trial balloon to find out is this a good time to talk with something we need to talk about is this a good time or should we try for another time. And go from there. And sometimes. Are not good times. Pastor Craig and I He's on the other side of the wall that's his office we were in there a bit Sunday some time or another Sunday afternoon and. We were talking about stuff for this week and looking forward but we can look forward in other very short very broad because we have to get through this week and. That's just how it is right now this is what now and how come Tuesday or Wednesday of next week we can maybe talk about it but you know how that this holiday has got to have the right time need a pleasant tone of voice sometimes isn't what you say but how you say it that counts I remember I don't remember just how it came about but so I. Bought 20 not quite 20 years ago I'm at work 1 morning fixing a horn and. 1 of my coworkers that was about this far apart from me said something to me and. Something about how he said it struck me a little bit funny and before long we ended up shouting complements back and forth at each other trying to outdo the other 1 with complements but what other people heard was yelling. And so it was interesting. Because. We had like sort of like similar to the head work cubicle sort of very very open but I could slip over the top and I saw some people from from the sales counter this started coming around the corner to find out what all the commotion was about. Long ago. I remember going to visit my mom's folks and my grandma always said he's so deaf. But guess what he was deaf but he heard a lot more than she did. And I discovered and I took me the longest time to figure out what is going on but we've Devon I would go visit them and it wasn't real often and they'd like you know because we had a grandson and we date humans is it and you know so. But it seemed like every time when we left I was all worked up and I was just about man and what is it about I mean these are nice people they've been good to me what's going on till I read a came across something in. It was an industrial publication and they were dealing with noise in an industrial setting and some of the responses to that and come to find out if people are in an allowed environment and or if it's loud enough where people have to talk really loud so they can be armed. All of a sudden. Some people get angry not because of what is being said but just because of the tone of voice being raised and all that kind of stuff what is proverb say about a soft voice. Yeah I think he knew what he was talking about when he wrote that. Be clear and specific a lot of times people just aren't good at it really saying what needs to be said and they will speak in vague generalities and they'll circumambient late the shrubbery and they're beating around the bush not getting right to the point. 1 of the if you're Pathfinder director you're automatically on the church board and. We moved to Michigan and the 1st year I took up I took off Pathfinder and I had a new job and knew everything and so I just stayed out of Pathfinders I observed that my had 2 kids that were in it but in the Lansing capitals but I wasn't involved and. My wife's 1st job was to find a school for each of her kids we have 4 have 4 kids ended up in 4 different schools which is kind of a challenge mom my youngest son my youngest is a daughter and the Lansing. Church School was glad to have her they didn't want my youngest son however because he has dyslexia and they were upfront and said we don't have time to deal with it and that's honest OK so now we can move on it a bit if they had say if they hadn't said that and would have ignored him that would not have been good so we needed to find another place for him and lo and behold St John's was. Talking about opening up a school and we met with the person we thought was going to be the teacher that they thought was going to be the teacher and we learned that she had trained she was a very experienced teacher she had training in dealing with kids with this lexia and she was willing to put in the extra effort to do it if you know that that's if you have the training but you don't want to take time to do it well that's nice but let's we need to keep looking but she was willing and. That year in 8th grade he learned how to read. And he still isn't a great reader. To this day his teacher and us marvel at his ability to look at when he's reading stuff reading text he can come up with he'll see a word and he will say a different word that starts with the same letter that means about the same thing I don't know how he does this but it works somehow. At any rate so we. He's gone to school up there and. I figured OK if they've got a school that's going to work for my son I had to put my membership there and so that's where most of my ties in offering went although I lived a lot closer to the Lansing church. My older kids got in with kids in the Lansing church. And my daughter is going to law to the school there so end up mostly going to church there but there was this work be for the school in the spring and my son's going there and so I'm I'm up there and I was trying to hang re rehang and a door in a closet I later found out that was the Pathfinders supply closet. I didn't know that at the time but I'm it had gotten ripped off and I'm trying to get anyway the pastor comes up to me and says Dave can you come over here for me. OK And the nominating committee is met and we're wondering would you be willing to be 1 of 4 people rotating in and adults have a school class I taught adults I was school class enjoyed doing says Sure glad to do that. We're also wondering would you be willing to start up the Pathfinder club. Lot I may get back to you on that 1 hand and so it was of some prayer and and I met with Elder dodge and the area coordinator marks Aaronson and then I yielded to temptation and said yes and. So but so we start of a Pathfinder club my son has graduated from school but now my youngest daughter is and my youngest son we're driving up to St John's every week for pathfinders and. I was there for about 3 years I was a director there for 3 years so I'm on the board. What I really didn't attend the church that much. They did for that 1st year they never did have me teach 7 school class but the came another year where they asked me to be a savage schoolteacher and superintendent on a rotating basis and I did both and I've always thought they'd ask me to do that just to get me to show up. And have fair OK so what I really didn't I got to know some of the folk in the church but I did not as well as I should up so I'm at a board meeting and showed up for board meetings I'm doing my honest part right and usually those took a lot longer than I wanted because I still had to drive home and they had to go to I got to go to work in the morning and this 1 day where they're from the board meeting others in the agenda and I know this man will really get in through stuff I'm going to get out of here quick cut out right and so we got through all of the there wasn't much for old business we got through that we got through the new business and I thought we're going to about to adjourn and then all of a sudden I discover there's another item that wasn't written in here it's called church discipline. I'd never been on a board meeting with that before and looking back I could have saved us probably a half hour because we weren't. Real clear and specific we were sort of beaten around the bushes but not really coming out and say. Sister so and so has done thus and such there was a Lucian but nobody wanted to come out and say it. And if I and I was really in the in the perfect position to do it looking back Dave's really good at hindsight not so good at in the moment but hindsight Sometimes I'm really good looking back what I should have done is said time out time out you know I'm not here a lot so I miss a lot of stuff now I need to know what is it that we're talking about this not beat around the what is it that we're talking about if I had done that we could have saved a half hour at least. Be clear and specific. Be positive. I have been amazed at hearing I've had exposure in some homes that weren't I wasn't related to but all this hearing how communication to especially to kids was so negative and people who if kids are accustomed to being put down and yelled at. It's not good and our clubs need to be a city of refuge for somewhere kids be courteous and respectful of your friends opinions. Sometimes our friends will will not see things the way we do. If we look in the as I read my Bible. Peter and Paul were on the same side but they weren't good buddies they were close buddies they had differences of opinion and they each had different life experiences and everything and so we need to be respectful of other people's opinions and not expect everyone to always agree with us. What are the needs and feelings of our friends. Sometimes when your friends hurt you can understand how you addressed this real good was at that 1 funeral where somebody just didn't didn't have a lot of flowery words they just came up wrap their arms around them and that said a lot. Some people are are going to be really good at doing this some of us it's really easy to be oblivious not that we try to but it comes natural. I remember a guy next. Lived next door to me in the dorm and academy Carson was really really really good at getting excited about other people's good news he was really great at that and I suspect he is been a really good doctor. Develop the art of conversation look for chances to develop it. Find interesting topics any questions on this part we're ready to move on moving on the listening part faulty listening says cite 1 psychoanalyst is usually at the root of most communication problems sometimes it'll just cause irritation or annoyance. But sometimes when a person is talking about something important poor listening can have disastrous results hear somebody that wasn't listening. Now is that it is that directive look like it was difficult to mis understand. You. Know you're. Just you know. You just. It's just. Here. If you don't think that there are. Words left and they're used here. Peter Saunders still feels. Like he's. Saying. Today we're dealing with a lot of things that we better understand. With and when I was a kid the would just totally not understood. I mean literally I think I had 2 kids before I ever heard of dyslexia and I heard of it because my father was diagnosed with it and my mom was explaining it to me and in my head I'm saying Check check check. And it's. Now. Dyslexia Well I would be because we have it in my family and all more about this 1 than a lot of a lot of other challenges I can tell you that in some gent my dad had a lot more of it than I do it was more intense with him than it is with me to my sons it's much more intense than what I have. And that is not uncommon. But I know which of my dad's parents he got it from. And his his mom didn't have a lot of it but. My dad has cousins that had a lot of it. Really easy. You. So. He says. You yet. Resource. So. It's. Come to find out a gal that was in academy when I taught long ago far away. With her dyslexia the only way she could read music is if the middle line you know got 5 lines and if the middle 1 was a different color. Then she could figure out OK it's above or below that 1 and figure out but without that as an anchor she couldn't really perceive if they're on the space or a line. We have kids today who are on the autism spectrum. And different ones have different challenges years ago I sold my Piccolo trumpet to a kid Well actually to his parents but went to a kid in early high school good trumpet very for a high school kid very good trumpet player and. He did very well with it. But as far as the kind of communication that we're going after here he'll never have it in this world that's just how it is. These are things to be aware of as as we work with our kids. A lot of us would rather talk than listen and we like to talk about our ideas and what we know and we're not so interested in giving attention when others are expressing their thoughts listening seems like it should be a simple thing yet sometimes listening can be hard work. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we really aren't interested in listening to what somebody else has to say. So you may say find yourself on it least I have the times been a board listener because I've heard what this person has to say before and China think OK here we go again but sometimes somebody will actually have something different to say and if you're tuned out you're going to totally miss it now what I think is really interesting here is look who is speaking yeah a selective listener is just going to because they're going to get the bits and pieces that they're interested and forget the rest of it and most of it's going to go in 1 ear and out the other. There are some people you don't want to hear and they just don't want to hear anything disagreeable or upset ing or anything that doesn't line up with what they believe. But and sometimes we just need to get other people's perspectives. Sometimes people are very hard of hearing sometimes they have a selective hearing sometimes they can have another challenge like you were just talking about then we can have the defensive listener that's going to twist everything into a personal attack on themselves now you remember I spoke yesterday about this couple that was in the class I taught at variance Springs the 1st time I taught any master guide stuff down there and there was his couple it was teaching down here when this slide came up she opened my eyes she said this is the kind of thing that often happens when people are hard of hearing. The 1 guy says Oh elephant I thought you said we were going across the Alps with L elegance. Big difference between elegance and elephants. I thought about pulling this slide because it's sort of making fun of people that mis hear things but I have left it in because it gives me the opportunity to point out that sometimes people who need a hearing aid and don't have it or it's not working properly or it doesn't work in the room that they're in this kind of thing can happen. Yes. I am I hear and raise your. Monger piece. If. She says. Yeah. Interrupt hers will often spend their time forming a reply to what they hear and they're not really that well they're more you know it's more important for them to get the reply right the than to hear what it is that they're replying to because their ideas are they important right. That's nothing you should hear what happened to me or that reminds me. There are some people that just are not interested in communication. Looking at that 1 you might notice some of these slides are a little old. Buttons the technology looks a little bit different today but. You understand what it's saying. Beeler to body language sometimes you can tell a lot by by how someone is postured themselves. And sometimes different things mean different things in different cultures and this so someone's coming from a different culture they may not be trying to give the message that you're receiving. I think of a number of years ago 1 of our presidents had a shoe thrown at him and he was over in the Middle East and. Somebody just serves your shoe at him and he ducked you know a big deal. He had somebody just a little bit rude. No that wasn't the way it was meant. Different culture. This 1 relates a little bit more to the computer parlance. Be a door opener you know sometimes. We need to give people an opportunity to to say well more you like some of the simple story openers or I.C. or you don't say Tell me more. I'd be interested in your point of view. Tell me the whole story these are things that can we can help develop a conversation. Now this is a challenging situation worse we're 1 person has a very clear idea of what it is that they're trying to say they have a very clear picture and the receiver understands the 1st part of it and then because they don't have the frame of reference that the other 1 does they get lost so I have a story to go with this I thought of this 1 Sabbath morning. We were staying in a in a Holiday Inn Express and I came out and ate my breakfast came out and said to the gals the desk how do I get to highway whatever it was I don't remember the number of days not good with numbers OK I don't but I have the right number of how do I get to highway Oh dear I'm not good I don't not good at directions and but she started telling me well you go down here so I Bob so far there's a purple house and I'm thinking to myself darkness is upon the face of the earth home I get annoyed purple hollows. And I've lost about a half hour trying to follow her directions. And I whipped into a convenience store and says How do I get to and and there was a guy there who was servicing some of the vending equipment he says oh you're going down to bring Springs Can you give me 5 minutes and I'll just show you because that's where I'm headed toward was and I tell you I think the Lord for that because I was doing this presentation down there that morning for at a have a at a union training thing if you have to give somebody directions F. at all possible. Draw them a map and have landmarks that they probably can see and if they're going over an inner pass if they're going over an interstate let them know you know now this guy the player are policeman friend here he knows all of this stuff he I mean this is his beat a nose and he's got a really good map in his mind and it's probably really really accurate and he will cave this guy follows it to the traffic signal and he knows that he goes through and need there's a circle e thing and. There's a railroad somewhere. Yeah now granted this is a really tough route to fall but if he could have drawn a part of that for him he to have a lot better chance and if you can find somebody like the guy the Lord sent for me said follow me. Want to Go Home Depot opened up just down the road from us and my wife applied to work there she was going to be in kitchen design and she worked less than a week and they've and she discovered that even though she had said that she wasn't available Friday nights and Saturdays they didn't care they wanted her to work and then when they found out she wasn't going to well it's time for you to leave but they were teaching everybody at least at that time if somebody asks Where do I find the. Euro at that time the instruction was take them to it. Even if it's not in your department you take them to it it's. Not a bad thought I'm seeing people who are we are we supposed to be done. Hey. I'm OK let's go let's Cruise quickly sometimes. Where we were looking at information active listening talks about the feelings of the speakers 1st and sometimes it's more important to catch that and 0 in on that. We don't have time here. If somebody has a problem. Solved like angry resentment loneliness Sometimes we need to give them a chance to say what they need to say. 2 years ago other side of this wall and in here on Friday at late Friday afternoon. I saw somebody that did a fantastic job there was 1 person who was responsible for like a dozen projectors and a bunch of other stuff other people were coming in that were going to be using the spaces and they were they were going to start throwing stuff in boxes and and the person that was responsible for all of this stuff. Understandably was getting all uptight and this young gal. All of a sudden she figured out what was going on and the crisis actually had passed but she figured out that she needs to unload a little bit and she knew how to get her to do that and because she could do that she could get all the stuff out that needed to come and sometimes people need to get stuff out and so just sometimes we have to bear with them and give them a chance to get stuff out and then they they can grow from there when I see the guy the hair that's come to pick up the recorder I know for sure I'm over time. So. Let's just have a quick word or prayer Our Father we thank you so much for the blessings that you've given to us and the chance that we have to communicate with each other help us that we can do a better job of listening and communicating with each other we ask this in my name in. 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