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A Call to True Manliness

David Wright


David Wright

Lead/Senior Pastor, Hendersonville SDA Church


  • December 3, 2016
    11:30 AM
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Well if you look at the bulletin. Today 5 foot $10150.00 pound David Wright is going to talk about true manliness. I'm not sure why you're laughing. This ought to be good right maybe not your conventional Christmas sermon but what does it mean to be a true man is it to be a brawl or is it to be able to tackle a bear with your bare hands what is true manliness I came across this picture this week this looks like some true man out in the rugged front here moose horns on his shoulder bows and arrows Now that is a man and then he's not afraid of going to that mountain stream uses as Bring it on I don't even get called a man or maybe even a lumberjack the body been to Wisconsin in the summertime to the lumberjack World Championships Shame on you for those that don't know this even exists this is where people come together to sawlogs with a stopwatch to see who is the fastest who's the most proficient who can chop through with an axe and in fact this one. Top left says the most intriguing to me because they have to chop a little wedged put their board in there climb on top do it again climb on top and remember how many times they do it until they finally whack off it off the top of the tree and like 40 seconds or some it's incredible So being a lumberjack does that make you a true man wearing flannel. Log rolling I don't know maybe it's your income how much you make the kind of cars that you drive or maybe an Hendersonville is just as fitting to say it's the size of your pickup truck. Now that is a man struck right there. Where would that get stuck Oh they parked too close Don't worry honey I'll drive right over top. A man's Rod I came across this on the Internet true and false manliness by James Freeman CLARKE He wrote this in 1886 he is an American theologian an author and he says manliness is the character of a man as he ought to be as he was meant to be it expresses the qualities which go to make a perfect man truth courage conscience freedom energy self-possession self-control but it does not exclude gentleness tenderness compassion modesty a man is not less manly but more so because he is gentle he writes In fact our word gentleman shows that a typical man must also be a gentle man so maybe it's better not to run that car over after all now there are plenty of examples in Scripture of a very manly man doing very manly things Moses going up against Pharaoh parting the Red Sea as all the children of Israel file through Joshua and the Battle of Jericho David and Goliath Daniel facing the Lions Samson and his strength and while that is certainly part of being a man is that the only part of being a man or is there something about being a gentle man or gentleman and what does it mean to be manly at home because sometimes we're really good at being manly out there and conquering and coming home and saying look what I've done but at home maybe we're not quite as well mentally. So this morning I want to look at an example the story of Joseph and Mary and baby Jesus and if you have your Bibles we're going to be looking this morning at Matthew Chapter one verses 18 to 24 is where we'll begin looking at somebody in this Christmas story that oftentimes gets somewhat overlooked but looking at the role of Joseph this morning so in Matthew Chapter one beginning verse 18 it says now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows after his mother Mary was betrothed today we'd say in gaged to Joseph before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Spirit verse 19 then Joseph her husband being a just man and not wanting to make her a public example was minded was pondering was considering to put her away secretly and that wouldn't be easy to do with it hey guess what Joseph I'm pregnant but I have not been with another man or any man interesting really that's the best or you come up with No it's the truth but while I thought about these things behold an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream St Joseph son of David Do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit and she will bring for the son and you shall call his name Jesus for He will save his people from their sins so all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet saying Behold the virgin shall be with child and bear a son and they still call his name Emmanuel which is translated God with us. I'll tell you it takes a real gentleman to hear news like that and to come up with a plan to put her away quietly even before the dream comes even before God tells you specifically and directly take this woman to be your wife what is inside of her comes from me from the Holy Spirit Now why did God come to Joseph here and not just Mary because Jesus was to be born into a family and this family needed I believe a spiritual leader in the home was the same in the Garden of Eden Genesis 29 And God called to Adam and said Where are you why don't you call to ease. Because you are the spiritual leader the head of the home not the tire Rannoch all domineering way but as a loving tender husband man spiritual leader of the home as Paul says if he's in 525 husbands love your wives just as this is humbling Christ also love the church and gave Himself for her have the same perfect love for your wife as Christ has for the church so God is calling Joseph to be the spiritual leader of this home to be the guardian the protector the provider the leader of this family as Christ is to his church he's calling Joseph to be the house band yes Mary's role is key she's already pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit but the creator of the family says leave her because she can't do this all by yourself is going to be incredibly challenging she'll need your strong arms to lean on Joseph to be the spiritual leader the guardian of this home to encourage her to be attentive to be constant to be faithful and compassionate Joseph. You are my man will you do this I believe Joseph was a true man because he was patient he demonstrated that he was gentle because he was godly and I believe he knew his Bible and the prophecies and I imagine the angel probably showed him Isaiah $714.00 that was quoted in the scripture was to be fulfilled and so Joseph humbly submit and obeys God and in a gentle way Joseph leads his family verse 24 then Joseph being aroused from sleep did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife now go to the OUT same line and say it anyway in any family God comes 1st whatever God calls you to do you do that 1st Secondly comes your family and thirdly comes the church that's true you heard it from the from the pastor 1st God then your family then the church because our families can only be excuse me our churches can only be as strong as our families and that's true and our families can only be as strong as we are connected to Christ as natural so it is not in that order something IS OUT OF ORDER BY believe Joseph has the order correct then we find him again in Chapter 2 same book Matthew Chapter 2 taking up the story in verse 13 you know these verses Well now when they had departed behold an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream saying Arise take the young child one time has passed the wise men have come and gone take the young child and his mother and flee to Egypt and stay there until I bring you word for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him. So again verse 14 when he arose he took the young child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt here he is again the protector of the family and then skipping down to verse 19 again some time has passed and now when Herod was dead the whole names of the Lord appeared in a dream of Joseph in Egypt saying Arise take the young child and his mother and go to the land of Israel for those who sought the young child's life are dead twice a year we read about Joseph uprooting and stop and think about that is not an easy or fun thing to move to pull out moving boxes or the caravan or whatever it might be to pack your things however few it might be and to travel on find another place to live find other place to be employed to work to support the family and then you get settled in there and again the call comes time to move again but here again and again and again we see Joseph putting the needs of his family above his own needs he's self less as he heeds the instruction of the Lord I find his call in St Joseph desired to make his home in Bethlehem so after this he wanted to go back not to Nazareth you want to go to Bethlehem Bethlehem was a much more up and coming city this is the City of David up in the foothills about 5 miles south of Jerusalem it's got a nice climate is green it's just a beautiful place I want to live in Bethlehem but he learned that our class rain in June his father stead and he feared the father's designs against Christ might be carried out by the sun and so instead he goes to Nazareth and Nazarite is not near as flashy of a place to live it's agricultural town it's quiet maybe as few as 200 people there most of which are quite poor. Their houses are made out of mud and straw but that's where he's to go and so again Joseph submits even though his desire to do something else his dream is to be someplace else to settle someplace else he submit for the good of the family for the good of his wife and his children because the Lord had led in a different direction I believe here we see Joseph a man of true godliness and a true man a look at another example turn me if you will to Genesis Chapter 33. There's a lot that goes into making of this portion of Scripture we're not going to unpack at all but you're familiar I think with the drama between Esau and Jake up and how for 20 years Jacob was in exile and how the Lord kept working on Jacob and finally he's going to go back to meet up with his brother Esau who he has not seen now for 20 years and he gets aware that his brother is coming to meet him with $400.00 men and he's petrified and so he spends all night in prayer wrestling with God and he comes out of that experience a changed man fully surrendered and as he's going to meet his brother Esau finally they meet in verse 4 interestingly spare prophesy tells us that Esau got his own dream that same night that Jacob wrestles with the Lord and in that dream he was convicted not to harm his brother and so in verse 4 of Genesis $33.00 we read but Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him and they wept and after some conversation after wondering how come you sent all of these gifts of you need to do that I already have No I insist you must take them and he says quickly come with me in fact we read about it in verse 12 the knees are said Let us take our journey let us go and I'll go before you but Jacob changed man now used to be the deceiver been renamed by God he says my lord no the children are weak. And the flocks and herds which are nursing are with them or with me and if the man should drive them hard one day all the flock will die so please my lord go on ahead before his servant I will lead on slowly at a pace which the livestock that go before me and the children are able to endure until I come to my Lord in C. or I will lead on slowly now you have a King James Bible this morning the word there is actually softly but it can also be translated as gently or tenderly in fact the same word that we find in some 51 verse one a soft answer that the word soft answer turns away wrath a gentle answer a tender answer. In the past Jacob has tried to lead forcefully he's tried to lead by manipulation he's tried to lead by deceit but I believe now Jacob's a changed man he's a converted man and now he leads softly gently tenderly May I suggest that a true man leads gently Can we look at some quotes and life wholesome way let the husband and father lead on softly as the companion of his journey is able to endure amidst the world eager rush for wealth and power let him learn to stay his steps to comfort and support the one he is called to walk by his side there's another book that you may be familiar with it's called Bringing up Boys by Dr James Dobson he has this to say he says a strong man provide security and comfort for every member of his family he knows he's a child of God and what is best for his wife and for his children. His son's needs such a man to look up to and to emulate he has this to say in other book that similar to this bringing up girls also by James Dobson says there is a place in the female soul reserved for daddy or a daddy figure that will always yearn for affirmation and only they ever outgrow that she will adore him if he loves and protect her and if you find safety and warmth in his arms she will tend to see all men through the lens of that relationship that ought to give our fathers pause a daughter sense of self-worth and confidence is linked directly to our relationship with her dad what he thinks about her and how he expresses affection is a central source of her perceived value as a human being dads are important male figures are important Grampa's are important the most casual negative remarks made by a dad years ago still echoing in his daughter's easy in her daughter's heart excuse me the most casual negative remarks the flippant word the tone of The Voice years from then she can still recall the day I disappointed daddy even though fathers can no longer play in the sandbox with their 5 year olds it is never too late for them to say you are precious to me dads are so vital they're so important they're so needed they're so necessary and I would say fathers you are fathers for life into a unique role girls never outgrow the need for love and affection from their fathers so keep hugging and squeezing them keep checking up on them keep telling them how proud you are of them and your boys to. Keep telling them how beautiful they are even in their thirty's forty's and fifty's there might be some older men here wondering now what should I get my grown daughter for Christmas this year I mean she has everything I'd say this simply find a quiet moment this holiday season embrace your grown daughter and tell her how proud you are of her how beautiful she is how she's such a great mother and wife tell her how much you love her and how precious she is to you ladies never outgrow that I believe that will mean more to her she will carry that longer than any beautiful sweater you deem to give her Joseph and Jake up were true men in how they were spiritual leaders in their homes and how they protected and cared for their families and how they sacrificed for the family the needs of the family above their own needs and desires and they were true men how they guided and led softly and how they provided Now that's a word that we like to hear right men we are the providers This is certainly a manly trait to provide Now for most men to draw divide is so deeply rooted that almost nothing can relieve their feeling of duty men will work their way into the ground to provide for the family and you've seen it before only to be frustrated when a wife seems to be asking for more but what we need to understand is when they have to choose their own missis when women have to choose between emotional security feeling connected or financial security we're told they choose that connection every time. In fact in this book for men only A says 70 percent of married women women would prefer to be financially insecure meanies or both not their preference I understand but 70 percent of married when would prefer to be financially insecure endure a lack of closeness with their husbands so men you put on theirs you know that I have to provide I have to provide even if I hate my job I have to provide While that's true what your wife once even more not the big house the new car all those things she wants you she wants to feel emotionally connected with you and close with you the little things build closeness a 32nd message during the day just telling her how much you love her as men. Here's a quote from this home you look upon as weakness man to be kind tender and sympathetic and I've thought it beneath your dignity to speak tenderly gently and lovingly to your wife here huge mistake and what true manliness and dignity consists that you know you could do a search on Ellen White search engine for true manliness right here and we thought it was weakness to be kind and tender and sympathetic to speak tenderly gently lovely to your wife but that is in fact what he's saying is true manly is to be those things yes you can be the guy's guy yes you can have the big truck yes you can do all these other things but are you a gentle man that provides for what your wife truly needs and the emotional closeness that she desires sensed and you can go to the gym and you can see guys spending hours and hours a day sometimes pumping out iron some of those men they are in relationships that aren't going so well but they're thinking in their very simplistic men minds. If I can just get biceps big enough she'll love me again if those same guys could spend an hour a day massaging her feet and asking how did your day go today that's the truth of the matter guys if you want to be attractive to your gals clean something. It doesn't matter what it is clean it. Anything get out the vacuum Well it doesn't need it doesn't matter you're missing the point bag something anything. There's another one husband should be careful attentive constant faithful and compassionate might say that sounds good but what does that look like practically I mean OK I can clean something let me finish a quote the happiness he imparts will bring joy and peace on his own heart so when you fulfill her you're fulfilling your own heart. Here's another some very practical advice whatever might be his calling and its perplexities translation guys whatever your job where no matter how difficult your job it is that the father taken to his home the same smiling countenance and pleasant tones with which he has. All day greeted visitors and strangers you're polite out there you're kind out there you're friendly out there don't come home and be a grouch be the same well you don't understand my job the complexities doesn't matter she says let the wife feel that she can lean upon the large affections of her husband that his arms will strengthen and hold her through all her toils and cares that his influence will sustain hers and her burden will lose half its weight I mean if you want to be a man be that man when you come home. Here's another one he should encourage her to lean upon his large affections and direct her mind to heaven where there is strength and peace and a final rest for the weary he should encourage his wife to look up and believe in God so claim promises together open your Bible together say honey I know you're overwhelmed but here's a promise I want to claim for you today lift her thoughts heavenward be the spiritual leader in your home and it says unitedly they can claim the promises of God and bring his riches blessings into the family man that's your job that's your job be a man and I talk you that way. I know some guys are probably thinking yeah she may want those things but she doesn't realize the weight and the stress that I'm under the responsibility that I carry I don't have time to do those things I can do it all I can be super husband I can't be perfect I can't do all that stuff you're talking about aid and get my kids to fledge your academy or so now to university I can do it however saying in that way raise your hand and I want to do that but sometimes we think that way yet I'm humbled when I look at Jesus on the cross weighted by the weight of the world on his shoulders feeling the weight of every sin upon him the separation between he and the father sweating blood when the last time you sweat blood guys he's in such agony and pain and heartache yet we read here in John 1926 when Jesus therefore saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing by he said to his mother woman. Behold your son speaking of John standing right there next to her and he said to the disciple John behold your mother and from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. He was overwhelmed in the midst of dying the 2nd death when it is more than he can bear when he's crying out Father why have you forsaken me feeling completely disconnected yet in those moments he pauses and he thinks about his mother you understand Joseph it passed on and now Jesus was about to die yet even in that moment he is attentive he's faithful he's compassionate to his mom and her needs and he is making sure she is taken care of and provided for folks that is true manliness that is leading tenderly that's being a provider being attentive but Sally I feel like there's a vacuum today of true manliness the world's quick to offer suggestions Well if you can do this and if you can look like that and if you can drive this and all the rest then you're a true man what makes a man a man a man technically yes I don't even know what. But a man who leads gently softly tenderly a man who trusts fully in the will and plans of God a man who puts the needs of his family above his own that's a man hard to find but I want to challenge them in here this morning by the grace of God to be the man that he's called you and I to be. Be the man to your wife that you're called to be don't make excuses don't say it's too hard don't say you're too tired or don't say oh I had a poor role model look to Jesus. Be the man he called you to be don't say I can't be a spiritual leader God will help you don't say I'm too weak God will give you the strength the saddle not how God will show you how long I've been married I have kids doesn't matter you can be a true man as a single you can be practicing to be a true man as a young person you can be 5 years old and be learning what it means to be a true man you can be a grandparent you can be 95 years old and you can still be a true man and as I think about Christmas I don't really think your wife probably needs another article of clothing as much as she needs you to be her husband her house than a spiritual leader a best friend a role model for her children and your kids don't need another toy they need a father who will get down on the floor and play with them who take their little girls to breakfast who take their sons camping who will call their grown kids every Friday night just to check in and say I love you you're precious to me and yes it can be overwhelming but God promises to help us and as we surround ourselves or surrender ourselves I should say to Christ every day as we seek guidance in prayer every day he promises to help us that's the good news to help us to become the man that he has called us to be another quote here says distrust in his own strength referring to fathers he hangs his helpless soul on Jesus and take hold of the strength of the most high that's what men are called to do he said I can't do this is too much you're right so in distrust in your own strength you hang on to Jesus you cling to the Most High the same idea here in Joshua 9 Have I not command you be strong and courageous do not be frightened Do not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. So man is it your desire to allow God to lead in your homes to help you be the husband father you're called to be but you may be 5 years old but you may simply say as a man in training I want God to mold me as a teenager or a single You may say Lord I want to be your man I want to remain pure I want to treat women with respect I want to treat my mother with respect as a husband or a father or grandfather you may say Lord this is hard but I'm asking you to lead me help me fill this role of husband father grandfather provider protector spiritual leader help me to be a good role model for my children and grandchildren some 5 or say leave me oh Lord in your right to snice God promises to lead us as men in our homes rather were asking right now that you will lead us as the men in our homes as singles as even some young children are here as some grandparents are here Lord help us to be the spiritual leader you've called us to be help us to lead gently but firmly with kindness and with grace help us to be the role model you've called us today. And where we can be any of those things if we're not drawing from you on a daily basis. Lowered the battle is won or lost in the morning 1st thing. May we surrender our lives to you each day. May we seek to do all that we can to show those around us how much we love them. And to point them to the Savior in Jesus name we pray in. This medium was brought to you by audio person a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse or you would like to listen to more sermon leave it W W W dot audio Verse dot org.


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