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4. Martian Men and Venusian Women

Sikhu Daco

Presenter

Sikhu Daco

Student, Andrews University Theological Seminary

Conference

Recorded

  • December 31, 2018
    10:45 AM
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This message was presented at the G Y seem to be in Houston Texas for other resources like this visit us online and she Y.C. Web. Thinking the prayer. Was kind of repute when he prayed he said help us to turn off our devices. I have my notes and my device. The movie. Her if you're taking notes with your device you can keep it on. Or using it for Europe by war. You guys are here for Martian men and the nation woman. We want to talk about I'm just kidding it was like. OK. We've been talking about the great controversy issues in the great controversy we talked about the story of the great controversy. The whole narrative. The the crew of the I keep getting this word wrong corrupts not plot. Crocs and clutch clutches like like like the. Clutches translate OK So the crux of the matter in the great controversy has to do with God's character and this is brought over you for those who are joining us for the 1st time the the character of God is under attack and what we ended with the end of our last session was that the way that we live our lives becomes an argument either in favor of God or in favor of the devil of accusations against God So we want to live lives that argue in favor of God in men. And a life that says you know what God is worthy of my trust God is worthy of me surrendering my life to him because because he's a God of love. When I refused to surrender my life to him I'm saying something about what I think of him that's it that's just the way it is I'm saying I can't trust him with my life I caught trust him with this aspect of who I am so I started in the song Chapter 37. Turn to some 37 verse 4. Some 37 then. Some $37.00 and verse Forest says deal like that also in the Lord and He shall give the desires of the $100.00. Thank you I shared. I think it was one of the 1st seminars that I struggled one of my struggle with surrendering to God was because I was afraid that he would end up making me do things that I didn't want to do and. It was 2 areas that I struggled with one was I was afraid that I was going to be a boring person if I gave my life to Jesus These are my real life struggles like Lord if I surrender to you I'm going to be like those people at church we're like never smile. Like they have serious all the time and they never laugh. It terrified me like I can't be a Christian if that's what it looks like and all the whole the people I knew never laughed. Yes see all the all the holding just. Like that that was at least what I considered to be holy and I was like I can't be a Christian if that's what it looks like the 2nd thing I was afraid of was that God was going to make me marry someone I didn't want to marry. And if that's like a herd like you funny or hot I know what you mean. Because and I said this before that every story I heard was was yeah you know I was living my life into my own thing and then I surrendered my heart to the Lord and and I would never have married this person but then that's why I married and umpire. Who those are my 2 greatest fears that kept me from surrendering my life to the Lord. What I said at the end of that session was what's stopping you from surrendering your freight that is going to take away your career your freedom she's going to take away certain relationships you're afraid he's going to what what is that pet thing that you're like I don't want to surrender this to Jesus because he's going to give me what I don't want in this area of my life. While we read in some 37 he says that Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart text Lex to me OK. I delight myself in the Lord but then what I desire in my heart is not necessarily what he would necessarily desire for me so how is this going to work out like something's got to give either his desire or my desire and I kind of want my desire. What this text actually resolves pretty easily is that when you just like yourself in the Lord you actually change. You become a different person and then the things that you thought you wanted before they'd change and you're like I thought I wanted this but I don't actually want that anymore I like growing up I thought I wanted to be a doctor I think being a doctor is great all the doctors out there but. I know it's kind of maybe it's a little bit weird because the if you're Adventist and you want to Jesus you should become a doctor. But in the more that I did the more that I studied the closer I became to God the less I wanted to be a doctor because I didn't want to be a doctor I just wanted the money really. You did let yourself in the Lord he gives you the desires of your heart because the desires of your heart align with his desires for you. That is the promise I want to start with that's a promise you will end with when it comes to this relationship things Delight yourself in the Lord focus your life on Jesus. He changes you in such a way that the things that you now want becomes the things that are actually right for you. OK OK so now we're going to go into a controversy the intent of Genesis. Genesis Chapter 3. Actually let's start in Genesis chapter 2 we talked about the very 1st session we talked about different attributes of God The 7 things about God that we studied over here and we drew them from Genesis one and 2. So we also said Genesis chapter one you have ending in chapter 2 verse 3 you have the Creation narrative. And then you go to chapter 2 and you have a repetition of the creation story but you have an enlargement of a certain portion of the story you know God when God repeat something it's because there's some important detail that is in there that he wants you to know so he already talked about he created everything in your talk about creating male and female that's it in Chapter one Verse 26 God said Let Us make man in our image after our likeness let them have to minyan over the fish of the sea was 27 and God created man in his own image in the midst of God created he him male and female created He them you've got the creation of humanity there encapsulated in those 2 verses and then he gives them instructions to be fruitful and to multiply and to work on the earth right. But then you get to chapter 2 and like god like No let me let me zoom in on those verses and let me expand on that part of the story not the theologians out they will tell you Genesis chapter one and chapter 2 completely different and separate creation narratives that is not true if you ever hear it to expel it and ban that theologians from your life. It's not true it's a repetition and an enlargement of the same story so here we go repeating the story here Chapter 2 versions 7 the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life man became a living soul after he creates man he plants a god an East put in Eden puts man who he formed in the garden and he causes to grow all these these fruits and talked about the rivers that were there and then in verse 15 and the Lord God took the man put him in the garden to dress it and to keep it and then the God and then God commanded man saying Of every tree of the garden you may freely but of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil not eat not eat of it for in the day that eat us there off surely die. After all of this cake we got in chapter one that. God When God made a decision to create humanity he made a decision to create male and female we got that he says so Bob made man in His image male in feet and in the his image created he him male and female created He them so creating women was not an afterthought a men women and men it was part of God's original design. God planned when he creates humanity he is going to create male and female He is the beauty in Genesis chapter one in that text with all of the Genesis chapter one you see the Trinity working but especially when he talks about the creation of mankind it's God says Let us make man in Our image you've got that plurality of language so God when He comes to creating humanity he comes in his tri Union singularity it is a paradox a god is one but he is 3 he is one and he says let us make man in our image and when he decides to make something in his image he decides that it is also going to be a pure air it prove that problem without all the other little. Let us make man male and female did you get that. I the word. Reality. Let us make man male and female. So there is something about when that when God created. When he created all of humanity. He looked at himself as a god and he said I want them to reflect my image therefore in order for them to do that man cannot exist as just a man man has to exist as men and woman that makes sense. You follow what I'm saying. There is a beautiful thing that happens when man and woman come together and reflect the image of God. That's why it can be the ugliest thing that can happen when men and woman come together and don't reflect the image of God. Because the way that God intended for it to be was that these 2 male and female come together and they to become one flesh in a similar way in order for us to try and begin to understand what the Godhead kind of looks like is what that marriage relationship is about. It's like it's like so that you can just begin to grasp a little bit what it looks like that's why when you many of those of you who are married and those if we are close to or ever want to in your lives I think it might be everyone here that's why in marriage you when you get married you don't become the other person. You know like there are there are. Crazy things that happen in the world you know the people who are like. The guy sees the girl and he's like she's just man and like he just he wants to be absorbed in her and I mean like he's like if I could just. Like she would be my life you know she's my everything she's my breath. And then you last just like where you individuality. That's not God's intention like when you look at the Godhead you've got 3 persons and they're individuals they have separate roles they have individual roles God the Father is not God the Son who is not the Holy Spirit they are separate beings and they got different things that they do. And that's OK in your relationship to be separate beings and yet And yet they come together in the unity of purpose here we saw in Genesis chapter one and they say let us do something together let us make man in OUR image. So even though they've got separate roles in a separate being separate individuals they've got a unity of purpose a unity of focus that's why you're looking for a spouse you're looking for somebody to spend the rest of your life if you guys don't have a similar focus. You are doomed who. Are. You going to have a horrible life. Really because it's OK if he likes reading books and she likes running marathons that's fine. But at the end of the day is your focus the same. The best marriage advice premarital advice I ever got. Was one of my mentors said to me he said Siku when you decide that you want to get married look for someone who has a love for the work of God. And love that he said that and then he said you know what I say I intentionally said a love for the work of God because if I think in love for God you're looking for someone who's like all that listen they go to church every Sabbath and they dress properly and they can preach and like whatever and he's like I'm not talking about that. You know and I'm going to talk to the holy women in the congregation now because in my conversations with women who are really committed to the Lord sometimes we can get. Ya pic in our comprehension of you know looking for someone who loves the Lord sometimes as women we can be like men I want someone who loves Jesus and you're looking for the preacher. Not Farrell Right you know I'm telling the truth you're looking for the guy who leads out in Bible study every week. Because that's going to tell you that he loves the Lord. You're looking for the guy who's like you know he's the deacon at church because that's going to show you he loves the Lord. That's why this advice was really really tough for me he said look for someone not someone who's upfront somebody who seems to you know be all spiritual and stuff he said look for a man who loves God's people. He loves the work he's heart is in soul winning. Because that person may not be up front leading a Bible study. He might be the guy in the back who when people come to church he notices every visitor who comes in. And you'll never see him preaching in front. But he's the person who when they leave church he's going to make sure he got their phone number and his one text them and say we were so happy that you came to church this to happen. He said look for that person. Look for the person who loves the souls of people. Who love their souls for salvation that does this make sense ladies the whole especially the whole the ladies you know you holy ones out there and we're like you're I mean you're women are holy I mean it's crazy I think it's extreme so I'm just putting it out there for you like look for someone who loves the work of the Lord and that's assuming you love the work of the Lord to him in your love souls singularity of purpose having the same purpose here God says. After he makes this decision let's make man in OUR image. There's a there's a method that he goes through and here we're talking about God being organized and intentional do you think it's it's random that God created. Adam the male 1st and then later created Eve the female Do you think that's random. I mean if God is intentional Is it likely to be random no rate I have a friend of mine from college she she was pregnant expecting. Alice talking to on the phone like several years ago. And I like also what are you going to do because she was in grad school has looking like what are you going to do for childcare she's like. You know it's just it's just an accident of nature that I'm the one who has to carry the baby. Once this baby is out like I mean it's all his. Accident of nature. Like then. And she went on It was like you know one day science is going to figure out how to make sure that men can get pregnant too. Because that pregnancy life is not. Out of a. Kid like that. In the Bible says that God created male and female like it was intentional OK So that was to speak to intentionality. Intentionality when God created Adam what do you do after he created Adam. You have your Bible and what do you do after right after he created Adam he. Go on he didn't create a helpmeet right after. He didn't know. If it yes OK All together we got it he creates Adam and then this kind of like a break in the story then God goes off and he. Forms this garden. And he plants a garden and then he takes Adam and he puts him in the garden once he puts Adam in the garden what does it tell Adam. Run 8 he gives out of work to do. The son I got from my dad OK so if you don't like it blame my dad my dad said if you're a man before you go in for your easy make sure you got a J.-O. B.. As on my dad said OK I trust them because I mean he pulled it from the air. God gave Adam a work to do now. And I said have a jail be but I think point put and then a job per se is have a work. You need to have a sense of your calling from God and the work that you need to do personally before you going out and trying to find somebody to share your. With when you don't got a life to begin with get a life. Nicely put. So this is this is where a man before he even created Eve. He said Here Adam I'm going to put you in the garden and I'm going to give you work to do. Incidentally he also goes to Adam I find this to be important he goes to Adam and he says Adam look at everything in the garden. Eat everything you see here except for. The fruit from that one tree was Eve there. Interesting. Eve wasn't there when God gave Adam that instruction. But when we get to chapter 3 did Eve know about it how to hear. Adam had to tell her Look men you've got to be a spiritual leader in your home. You've got to be going to God and getting a word from the Lord that you can tell your wife and your family. This is a true story. Got to lead in your home spiritually and how you lead in your home spiritually isn't being a bully like on the bent of the hosts of whatever I see. It's not like that but it's once you have that intimate relationship with God and like Lord what message are you giving to me and that's a message that you can relate to your family as well that doesn't mean women don't have a spiritual life Amen. But it does mean that before God told even God told Adam and Adam had a responsibility there's something with being 1st on the scene we still talk about intentionality here is something with being 1st on the scene God intentionally puts Adam 1st on the scene. Of this you feminists out there are men better than women. Funny thing is it's funny because I said you feminists nobody wanted to answer. OK I don't mean you can is what I meant to say is Church of the Living God. Tell me something. Are men. More valuable than women. Are women more valuable than men. OK I was wondering if I'll get a yes no matter what. When God created men and let me resolve it when Jesus died. When Jesus died did Jesus die for both men and women equally. Men men and women in God scientist partners value goals. Equally valuable. As far as salvation goes and the importance of us being saved and what he's willing to give and do for us up to equal value. Now when God puts Adam in the garden 1st does that make him of more value. No but does that put a responsibility on him that wasn't put on Eve. We're talking intentionality. First to the scene a lot of times in you when you get if you get to a place 1st you kind of have a responsibility to those who are going to come after you you're driving down the road there's an accident that just happened you turn on your hazard lights because you're the 1st person there you don't want people to come crashing into the accident behind you. Does that mean like your You're the most amazing person that ever lived you got there 1st and you did what you there's a responsibility that comes with being 1st on the scene and my reading of this and my understanding is that God in expanding that picture that he gave us in Genesis chapter one is trying to tell us something that the way that I created the way the intention that I had when I created was to say that when man gets to the scene 1st I put Adam there I put a man a male there because there's a responsibility that should go with him being a man. That's my understanding of the Bible. Men and women are different. Men and women are not just different biologically. Men and women are different in terms of the roles that they play and we say this and you see how much time if I have time to elaborate on it I do. I'm going to say this some of you are going to disagree off the bat but I want you to bear with me OK I went to a women's college and I was indoctrinated while I was there however ever since I have even while I was there committed my life to the Lord and I believe that he has helped me to work through a lot of the indoctrination so. I don't think this is coming from indoctrination. That was a disclaimer just a Sam human however. I'm going to say it now OK. Like this thick atmosphere thing. Right now in our society in the world. Gender. Is under attack. The college I went to. It's the top women's college in the States. And I think it was a year or so ago they had to put out but the president of the college had to write a letter to all of the alumni addressing the issue of gender because it's a women's college. But you have. Individuals who are born female choosing to be male wanting to attend a women's college. And then you have individuals who are born male choosing to be female wanting to attend the Women's College What do you do about bathrooms. I mean it's a very simple question and they've been having drama on campus because the transgender members of the community felt like they were being ostracized because a you know your you were. You were biological in our your book it's hard to talk about this aren't your biologically female but you are currently undergoing the hormonal treatment to appear more male. And so you go to the ladies bathroom in the dorm but you kind of look like a dude but you're actually a chick. And then the other women are like what the men doing in here but then you're like now I'm a what I'm a Met I'm a I'm a thief and I think. I mean that like what do you do it that this is what's happening in the world. And they don't know what to do about it. I got a forward the other day on what about Celine Dion championing gender neutral. Fashion for kids I think the video maybe was kind of like a little bit alarmist but I think the point being. What am I going to dress my kids in. Rate got 2 sons and like. Should I put them in pink pants. What if when I go shopping there are no more blue pants for boys you know the world is a mess over this thing. That wasn't a bomb that I was trying to create I saw. His I was trying to pay guys for my understanding of gender that gender is a social construct. Gender is socially constructed. Your step. Your biology. That's how you're born you're born male or you're born female great. Generally speaking and no there are few exceptions of people who are born with you know genitalia and pull you know but generally speaking you're born male you're born female. And aside from the genitalia there is there are there's a whole more will element that goes with being male or being female and generally speaking males have a more testosterone for instance we females have more estrogen for example and those hormones affect the way that you behave so generally more testosterone means generally more aggression more estrogen usually means more nurturing were together yes now beyond your biology comes now how are you expected to act in society based on that biology. OK so you're a man. You go to different communities you go to different societies because you're a man cooking or give us an example in the United States when it's time to eat. They say ladies 1st hey it's time to eat like women and children go eat and then the men will follow the leader no yeah opening doors ladies 1st ladies 1st ladies 1st ladies 1st I love being in America. Where I come from when it's time to eat. Men 1st. Men go eat ladies women and children in the kitchen. Let the men to take their fill the leftovers. Now this is how you're expected this is how men are so expect it to behave in society based on the fact that they're men right this is now the social construct of your gender are you following what I'm saying like like how your male nurse translates into your social interaction you're following what I'm saying and that's the part that I'm thinking is socially constructed. Now I want to add this to that. The Bible. The Bible has its own culture. The Bible has its own culture the Bible has realities of how people ought to interact in society the Bible has a reality of how women should behave in society the Bible has a reality of how men should behave in society these these are real things that there are there in Scripture. So when I say gender is socially constructed I believe that our church. Needs to have. A construct for gender that transcends ours so Siah told norms. That is sensitive to but transcends OK. Just as just to keep going with that illustration from back home. The power to how it generally happens is you know women are kind of like the donkeys you know they are the burden bearers. In the countryside specially in the city so if you go in the rural areas when it when it's time to to fetch firewood The woman got the baby on her back and she got firewood on her head and the man is walking in front of her. Because it's the protector. OK. And and it's like that right so it's now it's time when it's time to like wash the clothes you know the woman that grabs all the clothes and she goes down to the stream and she's like washed all the clothes my sister was telling a story she was speaking one time at a women's retreat and she she was talking to the ladies and she's like Hey ladies allow your husbands to help you you know she had to say allow your husband to help you with tours around the health and there was one lady there all the all the ladies started laughing and they're like whoa what you're saying it's funny because this is one lady who husband would help her do the laundry. And it was a mockery. But people were like I mean that like. For those of you well cultures where they have like Juju and stuff of the like that guy he is she fed him something. Like how could he be out there like washing clothes like that is so unmanly. But should should our Christianity transcend the culture. Yes So yes maybe that's a cultural norm where I come from but that doesn't mean that's how you ought to behave are you following what I'm saying. I gave the example of my culture that I come from because I felt like easy for you to relate to that one. Because if I come close to home it gets harder. It gets harder to relate to that. That men. Right now in American culture your manhood is under attack. Like it's not OK to be assertive it's not OK to be a leader it's not OK to be decisive. Because those things mean you're a bully. That's I mean that's that's the picture in society and women. No matter what you do you're always right. I'm not diminishing but this is the heart and I'm trying to say this like with as much sensitivity and like with all the buffers as possible I'm not saying that there are no men who have abused their power. Well my talks about that she says that God gave men a responsibility and they have abused it and that's why I gave the illustration from back in my home country I think what is more prevalent still where I come from is the abuse of that power but I feel like Western society has kind of swung. Where it's kind of like the power that was being abused has now been completely removed. And so God created Adam and put him in the garden. Martian men the nation women is to say that we're different and it's OK men and women are different and it's OK as a matter of fact it's good in fact it's part of God's design and the world is hungering and thirsting to see what a good picture of that looks like. We don't have time in the session to go into nitty gritty details but something that I'll point out especially in the next session is my my personal goal in the seminar is to encourage you to think. Is to give you some fodder to think on and then go think about it go study it out. And figure it out. But the truth is the world needs to see what a woman looks like. Look. OK this is my last time horse and then I'm going to go back to where I was trying to go. There's a there's a certain picture that in Western society of what true femininity looks like and it looks like a woman who has children and then stays home and takes care of them. I'm critiquing it. I'm critiquing it based on the Bible. People talk about all the time all the problems 31 woman you want to get a problem Study want woman maybe read problems that he won anybody. Is that woman sitting at home and just watching the kids. No I mean she's industrious. She is she is so industrious and so like she says she's taking care of financial needs in her home. And she's so good at what she does to the point that she is spoken of not just in the home but outside of the home so look at critiquing from the Bible this idea that women have no place doing anything out in society I critique it. I don't think it's biblical look well nice to see women who believe in the Bible and the threat that God has given to them yet as mothers as nurturers as women in Israel but not just a woman who sits at home and watches kids. Look if you're not developing your mind as a woman you are doing your children a disservice. You're doing society a disservice because your children will grow up stunted and and they will not be a blessing to the world that they should be. To read these to see those kind of women were running. And where are the men. Where are the men who stand for my poem the heavens all where the men of conviction. Where are the men who will stand for injustice whether it's done to a child or done to a woman or done to a fellow man where are those kind of men. That is what the world is craving for the world needs to see that. We haven't talked a lot about the dating thing. Because I think that the dating thing kind of comes secondary to figuring out who you are 1st. Who are you in Jesus what is your identity in Christ what is your calling your personal calling women God has a calling for you as a woman. Men. God as a calling for you figure it out praying on it fast about it. And then you know what will happen. As you figure out this is where God is leading me this is what God is calling me to. When it comes time that that that desire in your heart for companionship. It's not a bad thing it's divinely ordained. But you will know that you don't want to sacrifice who God has called you to be just so you can get married. Well people tell me are not men. You know guys in the church they're not nice guys outside the church like they're gentlemen. That pick you up for a date. Has a church tell you are mutual that Taco Bell. And that's all you're looking for in a man. All you're looking for is someone pick you up for a date OK. Figure out who you are in Christ. Find identity in him let's keep reading Genesis chapter 2. Verse 18. And the LORD God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him and help meet for him it's not good that a man should be alone I will make him a help meet for him and make a helper who is well suited for him do you catch that I will make a helper for him who is suited to him. I'm not going to have to marry anybody. I'm going to have him marry the person who is well suited for him L Y talks about you know the questions you should ask before you embark on this others relationship and she says will she make you happy in her love and like that you know it's somebody who is you compatible with. So the Bible says. Somebody who is compatible with with with your calling in life somebody was compatible with your personality. Some of you don't even know what to personality is yet how will you find someone compatible. It's true you like doing like to laugh or not. Figure it out 1st. And then you find help you. Make a help meet for him suitable for him out of the ground for us 19. The Lord formed every beast of the field and then you called Adam to give them names you noticed God decided even before Adam decided. That Adam needed a helper Did you catch it. You didn't catch it OK. Verse 18 God is the one who says it is not good for man to be alone yet so he goes and he forms all the creatures Adam to name them and then in verse 20 after he names them for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him to got all that already. So who figured it out Adam so God even before Adam was like man what I just need somebody about here life thirsty God. Before Adam even realized that he needed our help God is the one who said I am going to make him an help and then he put him in a situation where he was working for the Lord. To catch it God gave him a work to do he was working for the Lord and as he is working for the Lord his like hold up. I don't have a helper. Meet for me. Right so get about doing God's business I my husband calls to you I see get your companion. You know you meet a young person he's like hey you been Did you want to. Get a companion. It's you I see pleasant experience and a good place to meet people Amen amen. But that the the main purpose the main focus is Lord give me a work to do as I am working for you as you are working for the Lord asked as a matter of fact you don't even really know what you need until you're working for God. Because as you're working for him you learn things about yourself. You like man I thought I was I thought all the patient person. I'm so impatient. Like I thought I was kind but when somebody runs me the wrong way. You don't even know who you are until you're working for him so you get about the Lord's business and as you are working for the Lord I'm not discouraging relationships you hear me do you feel me discouraging you I don't mean to discourage I am not discouraging you I'm encouraging you I'm encouraging it this is a way to do it that you end up with somebody that you are compatible with in terms of your personality as you get to know yourself in Jesus in terms of your ministry goal is you get to know what the Lord is calling you to in your life. Adam is busy naming the animals and then he has a realisation of what he means verse 21 the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And he slept. While he was sleeping God takes one of his ribs close ups the flesh closes up the flesh. And then he forms a woman and brings her to the man. And like the most beautiful love story. It's like. Will she come from. And she's everything here wanted. And you know who made her. God made her. So women. God needs to make you. And this is while he's sleeping with it OK. When I 1st one of my 1st when I kind of getting into that conversion experience there was someone who used to lead Bible studies every girl in our Bible study was in love with this dude. Because like he was the spiritual guide you know the leading Bible study and oh no it's my husband and hear this I love you honey. It was just a crush. It. What the funny thing is like all the girls we'd be trying to make ourselves the kind of person that he would like. So you know and talk about if you like I feel like he's the kind of guy who likes a girl who is like outgoing you try to be more outgoing. And then you're like OK that I'm work for her so let me try to be the core you want. And kind of make myself into the kind of person that he would like. The Bible say in women let God make you. Let God make you some of you are shy some of your more core some of you allowed an outspoken so. It's OK we. Be who you are in God find your identity in Christ as a woman. He is fast asleep over there God's working on him let God work on you. Yet let God create you into the woman that you need to be when the time is right. Goggle wake him up he'll feel he. Came and then you'll be like. OK When the time is right the time may not be now OK we're running out of time. And the rope which the Lord got it taken from the man made he woman and brought her on to the man $23.00 Adam said this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife they shall be one flesh. Was never ever God's intention for divorce to happen never. I I don't have personal experience with divorce in myself getting divorced but I have been close to a divorce situation and it's painful. Nobody comes out unscathed nobody. Everybody Everybody is hurt it was never God's intention. So when he says that to shall be one flesh and I'm talking about a relationship which was bad. He is abusive the children are watching their mom get abused verbally emotionally the kids are getting abused verbally emotionally but when the divorce happens the pain is real. It's crazy. Because the 2 becoming one flesh that thing is for real. So you want to make sure those of you before getting into it. You're not doing this with somebody. That you're going to end of doing this where. Everybody gets hurt your sisters your brothers cousins uncles everybody is hurt in a divorce. Never God's intention. Those of you were married. And maybe it's not so great Unfortunately this is not a marriage seminar. And if it were out probably be one of the least qualified people to be keeping you I have more experience on the dating getting into the thing side than on the other side. But let me say this much those of you who are married and. It may not always be good. And they'll be hard times. But God intended for once you're married to make it work find a way to make it work. And we've been talking about on the single side knowing yourself in Christ committing your life to him committing yourself to his work on the marriage side guys it's the same thing. It's God God 1st God in the middle God at the end that's the only way you'll make it through your marriage. And the unfortunate thing is if you know Ellen why talks about way too many people marry made to not match. Unfortunate thing is if you're mated but not matched but you're mated. It's going to be harder to make it work but I believe in a miracle working God. I do I believe I really believe that God can change us God can change us through the power of His word God can take our marriages and he can make them into the kind of thing that the world needs to see God can do it. Before you get into it Be careful once you're in it just pray. And go to marriage seminars OK where. We're about out of time. Last point and then I'll do like a question or 2 if if there are any questions last point is the in this great controversy this relationship thing and how God intended for things to be. If God if if God's character is under attack and who God is in a picture of who God is under attack one of the most effective way that the devil is doing this is attacking relationships. Have you ever seen like like an old couple in their eighty's or ninety's and they are so sweet to each other has anyone ever seen that. Doesn't it make you want to cry. It's like sweet Yod like Instagram this is just. It's it's a beautiful thing and you think about you know they've got their trials and they all the stuff but then there they are and I remember us at a retreat it was a mystery treat and there's this old couple and and he's kind of what's outside Parkinson's The Parkinson's is the one. He's got Parkinson's a little bit and we were all sitting with them at at the breakfast table. And he stands up I mean the man walks so slow. He gets up and he walks over to where the trains and he grabs a cup of orange juice with the hand that doesn't shake as much and he brings it to his wife. And he puts it down and then he goes back to get his own. Because you know that Parkinson's she could have got up and got her own juice. But if the wealthy think the world could see the. Love like that. You know like Saltz that grief isin love. Like families husbands and wives unions that are are they love each other they love souls but they're not like in what focus they focus on helping other people helping each other I mean the world is craving for that that's what we've got so many wrong guys. That's what all the Christmas movies you know that Hallmark. That's what it's all about but they're craving for the real deal. And we are the people to give that to the world when they see that they see a glimpse of God. And you become an argument just in your relationship you become an argument in favor of the gospel. Heads and I'll take a question to Lord help us. Help us to realize who we are called to be in you. And then Lord bless our unions our relationships so that they can be a reflection of you. We pray that the world would look at us as a witness in everything that we do and that they would come to nothing more. Pray the sing the Jesus name and. This message was recorded at the G. Y.C.. In Houston Texas. Supporting Ministry of the 7th Day Adventist Church seeks to inspire young people to be bible based pricing and soul Christians to download or purchase other resources like this visit us online she Y.C. web or.

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