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  • April 27, 2019
    9:45 AM

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It seems everyone in our generation feels it's loneliness we're on our social networks we're on our screens and even though with everyone we experience loneliness find out what the Bible has to say about it on this episode of In verse. Coming to you from Silver Spring Maryland welcome to enter the Bible based conversation on life principles contemporary issues and thought provoking. Now here's your host Justin Tim within. You guys welcome to inverse we are in our midst of studying about families and in our generation we are experiencing loneliness at unprecedented rates and we want to see what the Bible has to say about loneliness and perhaps one of our experiences of loneliness and share and about Commission cried together and talk about how and if you're lonely out there join us join us every week and you can be a part of our are in worse than we are in verse again here so let's have a word of prayer and as you can you pray for us about studying God's word for that heaven thank you so much for your word that your Lord is always with us and that through your word you are always with us as we study this topic of all of loneliness we pray for your presence to be with us in Jesus' name and then and Jonathan it's go to Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 for us. And the LORD God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper comparable to him. 6 What's going on in that verse God is speaking. God has created me so in Genesis chapter one and then in Chapter 2 it's kind of a repeat and enlarge of the creation story so that also focuses in on the last part of this creation experience where God creates mankind and here in verse 18 God has already created Adam. And then he looked at Adam and he said it's not good that Adam should be by himself it's not that Adam was alone alone God was there with Adam but there's something that God God when God created Adam he created him in a way that he shouldn't be by himself as a human being and so we see that it's God's intention that mankind that humanity should have companionship and so missing in Genesis we see the creation of humanity and right in the beginning human human humanity has a social component to their very D.N.A. They are not these monads that even though God is there they're not just only speaking to God all day there is a social component to them always open up the the question like. Is it it's not appropriate to to admit that you feel. What what are the negatives and maybe even shame like I'm lonely don't we don't hear that among especially the younger generation Oh John so you're looking at me like I'm like I don't know what you're talking about. Just getting no it's it's I think you're right there's definitely a special with social media people want to be popular you want people to follow you want to have a crowd that's kind of kind of flowing around you in your life and so if you're alone if no one cares or you know that's that's considered you know weird or. You know there must be a reason why you're lonely so you're probably a weird person you know you're not likable Whatever the reason might be that's the perception of people have and so we want to I don't want to admit that I might be a weird person you know I might have social problems even if it's not true the perception is what people you know have in their mind but the interesting thing is that everyone's feeling it but it's I guess I guess they're saying. We anticipate that we will be perceived as a certain way and so it's kind of us out for the patient we try to portray all for ALS differently than we actually are and so it's putting on this image that is actually not true and I thought it was interesting just just going back to Genesis chapter 2 that when God created Adam and he said it's not good for man to be alone Adam hadn't had that realisation of himself even it's later on that Adam looks around and he's like oh there's not a help meet for me and so it's. God in creating us created us with the intention that we should have community and even people who may not be in the place where they recognise their loneliness that they still need community and companionship and it's something that God instilled in I want to include Israel into this conversation I understand alone you know God God understands because God understands loneliness even though up to this point in his experience he's not experienced loneliness. But he understands loneliness and in the life of Adam so I think there's 2 reasons that are important to 2 perspectives that are important when we deal with the subject of loneliness number one is that there is a positive side a positive perspective or positive reason why feeling lonely as bad as that makes any sense and that is because we're created in the image of God God is the Godhead is you know 3 people or 3 person were created in that image so there's a social component to the God you know they have each other the communal solo. Entity as a social is built into the very fabric of the universe God and and their their equals their equals their if you would their helpmeet they're equal to each other and so there's that component we long for we long for community because we have been created to be in the image of God And then secondly you have just a social pressures that and I think this is the wrong the wrong reason to feel lonely or to avoid Loyd and loneliness and that is because of the social pressures for that now what's important for us to understand here about this element of loneliness is that Adam is surrounded by he's not alone in the world but he's he's what he's lacking is someone that is equal to him right someone that is that is his help meet someone that needs him at his level right and so that's what he's missing and to me like I have our house is like a zoo we have so many animals and my favorite animal because they can't know was my favorite my favorite animals are the animals in my favorite animal is my dog Bentley who's he's he's really old now but my dog is like super old he's like 14 years old 15 years old and which dog years is very old very old yet I mean he's got dog people and he's in his last phases I mean I don't know if he's going to live more than a year and we've had him before we had our kids and this old dog he's an old man to this very day will dog he's an old man dog so this to this very to this very day when I when I come home he's got he only he's old and to this very day when I come home. And I open the door to the house I hear this you know the prince come and come and to me and you can just hear the dog coming all the way from my room and he's making his way slowly to me and he and he's he's jumping on me in his old age he's he's letting me know that he's happy to see me and this happens to me every single day whenever I leave or whenever I come back if I leave 5 times and come back 5 times I'm going to get the same exact response and so I really love my pet I love my dog but companionship with my dog will never equal or companionship another human being because we're not on the same level receive your wife but with another human any other human being especially my wife or my kids or you I would LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE MY it would be close and still and so and so God is saying here that we need the community of people that are equal to us that like us that and this is the only way to satisfy this new you know $100.00 is not going to be able to satisfy this need we need someone that's equal to us so there is a social phenomenon happening today though so there are people who you know I maybe you guys have experienced You're in. A get together some get some social event and everyone is sitting together every want you're with other human beings there there is food is nice whatever I get These are people that you like and everyone takes out their device and is just complete quietness and everyone has and they're either taking pictures and uploading or seeing what other get togethers happening over there or there's just watching this this phenomena you know weird and yes P. in the fickle network what what why why is that going on today is that good is that bad can we and I meant on that what is the Bible up to say what are your reactions I think it's good to touch on that I think I think there's a certain kind of. Subconscious leasing us so it's easy to for me to take up my device and show you something or just look at things and if we're all doing it then we are kind of share. In that experience but not and it's it's easier than having to think and having a deep conversation about something and I believe that amongst my peers I can see that there is. Over the past couple of years have become less and less normal to have really deep conversations because usually very superficial and because we are so much in our devices that feeds into our conversation and that's usually superficial So you know when is the last time you're had a very deep conversation with you know anyone I mean there are neurological changes and I'm not by any means discarding devices and whatnot but there are no laws going to changes that prevent us from being able to think deeply right I mean if you don't use those brain muscles. It's weakening might there be spiritual ramifications of that. Something about you know the reason maybe part of why we end up on our devices a lot of times even when we're alone is sometimes or in this generation there's a fear of our own thoughts and then raid you know what thoughts are going to come into my mind and and when when you are experiencing loneliness and from my personal experience of loneliness it's not a pleasant thing necessarily you know and and the kind of thoughts that that introduce themselves into your mind may not necessarily be pleasant they're not into taining per se and so it's kind of similar to the house of mourning versus house of feasting thing that that's all one talks about going to the house of mourning it's reflective of you you ponder certain questions and it's actually helpful it helps you to grow but it's not a pleasant experience so I think a lot of times even not on personal time and up on our devices and that feeds into even when we're interacting with others John and talk about it's easier sometimes to get on your device than to actually try. To connect with someone and not just connecting I think even sitting in silence with someone is great of the silence but I think downstairs is certain a certain quietness and loneliness that is actually good for us because God is always there and if I'm constantly trying to be with someone else or connected to a thing I am never alone with God and we might be afraid of that because God And I you know tell us something that we don't feel comfortable with at 1st but as you learn you know that to appreciate that devotional time that time with God in the morning or whenever at night sometimes I lay awake at night and you know and I just I'm alone my thoughts and the Lord and it's not always the most pleasant experience because God is you know sharing something with me and and so but they stay healthy because this is when God is you know you and God and you're not really lonely but you're lonely you know you don't have another human being there and there are moments where I think that it's really healthy and good but it's of course shouldn't be to in modern society looks bad upon that as well you know sitting in silence doing nothing taking some time off I mean these are unproductive exercises that are your psychotic you are you just standing there doing nothing or just doesn't appreciate just plugging and yet And yet this is unplugging is critical to the Christian experience because God says you need to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD YES being still is a prerequisite to knowing who God is to knowing what God is and to knowing how God relates to us I have actually found in my personal experience that the greatest moment that I have had our moments along with God And I think too many times we on the I'm not. Sure contradict too many times we think about the negative how negative it is when we're alone with God There's a lot of positives to be yes we find out who we are we find out how much we need them a lot of things I know you're thinking out there if you're interested I love loneliness but there's some of your extra like you know I have a lot of it is I can't be by yourselves will be looking at when come back. Back on the on the advantages of knowing the loneliness and some of the biblical counsel to that talks about loneliness in the bad times as well so stay tuned. Has been a blessing to you Do you have questions comments or feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching. On Facebook Twitter Instagram or You Tube while they're joining us like us comes up next our handle again is in 1st Bible. Now back to the discussion. Everyone we're so glad you decided to join us again if you're not watching some cat video or someone some other that you know or your part if you are checking social media get off it and be with us be with us in moment we're looking at lonely let's let's go to a Bible verse shall we let's go to 1st Corinthians 7 1st Corinthians verses 25 through 30 or so 1st printed 725 through 34 in Israel can you read that for us. Now concerning virgins I have no commandment from the Lord yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trust worthy I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress that it is good for a man to remain as years or you bound to a wife do you seek to be loosed or you loose from a wife do you seek a wife. You know I do not know why but even but even if you do. You have not sinned and if a virgin marries she has not Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh but I would spirit but I would spare you all right so you verse $29.00 is only some trouble. But this I say brethren the time is short so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had and they had none those who weeping as though they did not weep those who rejoins has though they did not rejoins those who buy as though they did not possess and those who. Use this world as not misusing it for the form of this world is passing away Jonathan verse 32 to 34 please but I want you to be without care he was unmarried cares for the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord but he who is married to cares about the things of the world how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and the Virgin the unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit but she who is married to cares about the things of the world how she may please her husband OK that's right what's going on here provide some some balance and context to get some of this something some of these verses have been lived out in in extremes and we want to make sure that we're going to full picture here of Scripture all to believe there is there are pros and cons to marriage and I think that at the end of the day there's there's you know these elements balance out to each other so every time we take on a new responsibility in life that responsibility is going to is going to require our attention whether it's getting married whether it's having children whether you know whatever it is it's going to require attention and what Paul is saying here is that rightly so if you're married to someone they should require your attention and you should be in your number one priority to make them happy and this is essential now what happens is if you don't have if you're not married to someone then you don't have that burden it is a burden it's a great burden to carry but it is a burden you don't have that burden is your responsibility and national responsibility and now you have now you can now you can focus 100 percent on God So when the married life with a life with children there are there are lows that you would expect that you experience only because of this thing if you have children you're going to have to you're going to have constraints that you would not have if you did not have children you have to financially pay for their schooling you have to spend your time with them. Respond most of all responsibility. And a heavy burden the No more vacations no more sleeping in no so these are burdens heavy burdens on now now with those burdens also come enormous blessings you're never going to experience love Jonathan you're never going to experience. Like you would when you have your child write the. Things that your child would teach you about God are incredible things and so ultimately what ends up happening is that these blessings also carry with them burden and so we you know later on in Scripture you're going to find places where the Bible talks about children being an awesome blessing or marriage being an author I mean you know it's not good for men to be alone but I remember watching as has talking and there's there's a sociological data that proves what you're saying here they said the those without children their highs were not very high but their lows are in there are very low and they're kind of there's a there's a charge that they are nearer nearer nearer nearer and then there's parents with kids and then their highs were very high but their lows were very low going from extreme to extreme and it's like the Lord is giving us these experiences too and we talked about in another episode all these expensive credit composite picture to make this like Jesus right so but what are the benefits of single Let's go there I want to point out that you know I think when I used to think about this text when I was single YES lot of times it was like Yeah you know you get married and you've got all these responsibilities and you know you can't live your life you can't travel when we want to travel you know on a go I don't go and go and I started when my now husband and I started quoting I want to go on a trip to visit my college friends and he's like what you going to drive it was driving from Michigan to New York I'm like yeah I'm going to drive like Don't drive on like I make that drive all the time you know he's like nah I'm just wait about your safety and I was so annoying because I'm like dude I have lived my whole life I drive across the United States I've been fine now suddenly I have to take into consideration this guy is worried about me calm down and. They were right. Now I mean I certainly wasn't I. Mean if you get if you forget that I. Mean I would think about the privileges of single life a lot of times it ended up being selfish it was about. Doing what I want to do when I want to do it how I want to do it without having to solve with anybody else but like how Paul puts it here he says those who are not married where you where you are something very special before 34 this. There is a difference between a wife and a vision the unmarried woman cares about not her own things and live in her own life but she cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and spirit but she was matches about the things of the world and I it took a paradigm shift actually reading a book about singleness and it was a paradigm shift where just being single is not about being selfish. Being single is not about I want to do what I want to do and live my own life it's whether I'm single I'm married like I can if I'm a Christian that selfishness is never an option you know so I love the way that Paul puts it I guess like the benefits of singleness isn't so that you can do your own thing like just be you and do you the benefits of being single is the time that you have to invest in other people in the work of the Lord in a way that is different from when you're married because the people you invest in when you're married is a different set of people that you have to and it requires a lot of intentionality you know so if I am single I need to make that decision then I go that way because naturally I will go to selfish route so if I make that decision I want to live for the Lord you know I mean Jesus was single you know but what was his prayer not my will your will be done and you know he'll live day by day following the father's guidance and power but a spirit that incredible things I believe that we have yet to see you know a generation of young or old single people that could do so much more than what is happening so far I think I think God really wants to use single people in a special way unfortunately society has put a pressure on people who are not being told that you know we give the impression to them that maybe they're. Something wrong with them I mean people who are single or people sort of people who are single it's like you know you need to get married getting married you know society sometimes gives the impression that Gary getting married is a necessity to be normal and I think what Paul is saying is that's not the case in the eyes of God just your thousands of young people saying amen through this and you can you have good hearing. And so. What Paul is saying is that this is not so it should not be that way you need to look at your life as a single person and understand that number one marriage has its pros but it also has its challenges and then number 2 there is a blessing to where you are right now you can use your singleness to really advance the cause of God and that's why Paul is saying I wish that people were actually like me that they had the freedom that I had and I wanted to say to you know I think God is intentional in the way that he does things so in Genesis that we read in Genesis chapter 2 and he created Adam and he didn't right away make Eve He created Adam he gave Adam a what to do human interaction with Adam I think God God had a reason why he did that so the time of singleness is not like I'm just waiting for my life to begin Adam's life had begun and in the time of singleness and a time when when when and when an individual is single it's not like I'm just waiting for life to happen I'm waiting for to be found or to find there is there's a reason that God has or you in that stage of life and and it's actually beneficial it can be beneficial for yourself in your own personal growth beneficial in the work of the lot like Paul is talking about it beneficial in your relationship with it like it's seems like the larger principle is emerging from this passage is that marriage is not part of my identity it is a as an extension of who I am but it's more of a tool or an accessory it's I think there's a lot of people who are show their identity is so wrapped around in being married I am this person's husband is a person and. Or as a single person as a single person and they're obsessed on trying to get married and that's their identity but I think you know they're in the single years and what he's saying is make sure you're right with God and then the misnomer is this whatever issues you have as a single person you just carry them bring them along as a married person and if you don't resolve them you just have the same problems you had as a. Going in the feeling that I need to get married in order for it like to happen the loneliness and the sadness that that kind of thinking has once you get married that doesn't change or you know and there are people who are married and very unhappy because they're looking for slums and lonely as in that they're looking for a fulfillment of their spouse that the spouse can't give them and I just wanted to kind of bring it back to just the general topic of loneliness because the reality is many if not all of us experience it in some experience and more and I want to acknowledge that. You know it's easy to say hey you should be right with the Lord and be on fire for the Lord being when you're single but there is an emotional reality that that is not always easy and that everyone is that close to God and cetera and it reminds me of a Scripture just quickly read here in Deuteronomy 14 Deuteronomy 14 in verse Deuteronomy addresses let. Mean verse 29 1st 291-4298 says and the Levites because he has no portion nor inheritance with you and the stranger and the fatherless and the widow who are within your gates becoming satisfied that the Lord you got me bless you in all the work of your hand which you do so this is about taking care of people who don't have as much of a support system as others and I can tell you from my personal experience I'm a stranger in this country I came from Europe a couple of years ago I left everyone behind and it gets lonely you know if you grow up in the place you have all these connections said Fred. Trips and when you come into this new place as a stranger it's like OK you know I have to rebuild and we live in a society where there's a lot of traveling a lot of moving parts it gets lonely I mean there has been moments where I've been very like where I don't have friends you know so I just wanted to reality and to show that got actually cares about people and wants people to be part of the communion I think that's kind of what church yes well I want to that just just bounce off Jonathan that Adam when Adam realized that he had no health need for him it's not that he was on God this is before I could point feeling loneliness experience because we were created for companionship and I appreciate that bringing in the communal aspect that we were we were built for community and God told us that way and there's nothing wrong with experiencing loneliness acknowledging that loneliness and seeking out community and the church providing the community that people need to know we encourage you all there to plug into a local church community also love plug plug into our social media platforms let us know what's going on with you while board a prayer with you and we can be your friends online and this is a justified reason to be on your own your devices Hopefully this conversation has been a blessing to you it's been a blessing to me thanks for joining us with you next week here in verse you've been listening to inverse a Bible based conversation telling Israel that Jonathan was Sebastian Baxter he could die for your host just an. Inverse is brought to you by the full time television that changes like this and more inspiring ever so there's an inverse that hope to God more to find this on social media. In verse 5 until next time this is in verse.


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