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  • May 4, 2019
    9:45 AM

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Join us as we sit at the feet of King Solomon was the wisest man who lived on the Earth and Man did he have some family problems on this episode of inverse. Coming to you from Silver Spring Maryland welcome to. The Bible based conversation on my principles contemporary issues and thought provoking. Now here's your host just in time within the next day what's up guys thank you for joining us on this episode of In verse in this season we've been looking at different components of families and we're going to look at the Book of Proverbs one of my favorite books of the Bible and written or compiled by or someone had something to do with the book of Solomon this book of Proverbs and but man Solomon had some issues with with family he had a couple wives and these underage these couple 100 couple 1000 a couple 102100 we need prayer because we need we need we need prayer and we've been praying before every episode The Lord has blessed every episode has gone somewhere different to what we planned but it's always a blessing on the less and that's the power of staying in the Bible and verse so we're going to board a prayer and get started so Sebastian can you pray for us yes Father in heaven with his soul think will do if any man lacks wisdom that he can ask you've gone and then God is willing to give liberally and so Lord we pray that you would do that just know in the sweet sweet spirit of Jesus me rest upon this God In this into all truth is our prayer in Christ's name and. And well let's go to our one of my favorite verses and apparently Kelly verses as well as you say we need to read this verse truly one of those but found so proverbs and exactly what I was there a call any way is on the brother as Chapter 3 probably step 3 verse 5 and 65 and 6 and John can you read that for us in the New King James version in the 1st. 6 is that it trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths All right so Kelly why is that your favorite verse why do you want to use that offer. So 1st and verse 5 so trust the Lord with all your heart to tell him how much and in what capacity in your life is not just trust God here and trust God there with all of your heart and completely and at the same time what you should not do is lean on your own understanding again sometimes we approach things with divided heart I trust God partially trust God about these things but also don't rely on your own understanding because it's not a staple of trust in God and in verse 6 in all your ways again completion and including everything and all your ways acknowledge him it will happen as he shall direct your path so it's very. It's very specific it's very practical and it tells you exactly what you can expect God to do in return for these things now I was so far this the season on family has been a blessing to me we've been looking at a lot of different components we have sought a lot more to go in this season but there's something about families that if if if it's good it's really good but if it's bad. It's really bad and sold the proverbs a lot of the problems have to do with family and relationships and there's a lot of wisdom here and you know progress can be a very sort of sometimes a very difficult book to read you know sometimes it's like these fortune cookies that was compiled together just random like you know going to dinner what are some. Proverbs that are dear to your hearts that talk about well let's start with the 1st about 1st 9 chapters of Proverbs it talks about when men yeah and it goes kind of goes back and forth anything in there that pops in your brains that you really hold dear to you Well I think it's mentioned when you go to the chapter 5 chapter 5 in. You 1st start in verse one verse one in Solomon is counseling his son right and that's one of the things I love about the Book of Proverbs is a big part of it is my son my son a parent giving wisdom to the child and he says Pay attention to my wisdom lend your ears to my understanding that you may preserve discretion and your lips may keep knowledge for the lips of an immoral woman drip honey in her mouth is smoother than oil but in the and she is bitter as one would sharp as a 2 edged sword her feet go down to death and her steps Lee hold of hell lets you ponder her path of life her ways are unstable you do not know them so I think in this sense he shows his son the danger of casting his affections on an inappropriate individual right this is your love in the wrong person you're giving your affections to the wrong person and he lets him know that one of the goals of his wisdom in sharing in Proverbs is to protect him from these kind of abuses and so I think you know when we're dealing with families in the mess of family a lot of times when we get into the mess we can kind of think back to someone's advice or someone's input a parent a friend you know an older sibling that was I don't do this or you should do this and we don't follow it and then we get ourselves into the mess and it's kind of like this you know touchy feely you know tongue in cheek like I don't want to say I told you so but I told you you know at the same time and so I think what Solomon he's trying to essentially drive us home to the fact about the Book of Proverbs that listen I love this because it lets you know if you just listen to the things that have been given to you you're a person who is willing to actually hear and follow you can protect yourself from so much unnecessary pain so much unnecessary drama in your life just by listening because so many times we think we're the exception this will happen in Cali but that will happen to me and I think it is longer Solomon says Pay attention to my wisdom and leisure it's a month or stay another aspect I appreciate. About it is he doesn't mince words like this is seems to seems like honey but this is actually what is actually sharper than a 2 edged sword so it's like yeah it might be kind of think about it like no no this is terrible and you know it's like that's like the best kind of advice but it's the hardest to swallow because like mantlepiece will brief of all my senses and don't be so harsh but it shows the desire that in this case you know has for a son to please avoid these things I'm going to tell you directly how awful it is so please avoid at all costs you know for me you know someone recently giving me advice or I was nice about Muslims give me advice and. And it was just so straight like listen if you want if you want this relation TO BE HAPPY do this if you want to about do that like black and white get to be a gray area and there are gray areas of life but there are very black and white areas of life as well and like hurts us because I don't to be told what to do and that even if comes anyways even because I don't really love it's still just like let me just figured out the hard way like Can I just make my own way kind of figure it out but it comes from a place of love that has like my son avoid this pain avoid the suffering by doing this instead and I think one we need to give advice on love but also receive it in love and also trying to control me but they're really trying to take away suffering and give you a better life if you just listen for sure it's black and white it does it is hurts sometimes the introduction to Proverbs starts from chapter one and ends about chapter at the end of chapter 9 and it's talking with these 2 women yeah it talks about wisdom you go to chapter 4 1st 5 get wisdom get understanding Don't forget don't turn away from the words of my mouth don't forsee courage she will preserve you so she's a woman here yeah and was wisdom is awesome and it talks about mention that other women can be taken literally like there are some women they want as I really thought and then. Just in general there's they call folly or foolishness or just being dumb stupidity you know like there and then and that's all of us we there is the temptation in black and why to follow each way and if I did this when I was younger I actually highlighted every time wisdom is mentioned and then with another color on the highlight I'm a color and then the color of folly is goes back good woman bad woman good woman bad and then ends and the chapter 10 then says these are the proverbs of Solomon then you're the fortune cookie sayings after their friends and so here you have you know it's talking about literal women and you can These are these are we find a good spouse but also yearn and thirst and desire wisdom we don't get that in our culture culture today in the world wanting this is the last thing we know because like what Kelly said to her some time and I think there is something about wisdom in the way that proverbs presents it that makes the world seem fixed this is the reality in a lot of times you want to think that well I can get around this and when someone tells you straight black and white it's coming well that's just how it is and that's hard to swallow I appreciate that God does not hold back though because he has to cut through all the noise that is surrounding us and so sometimes we maybe there's a harsh word I mean the with them you know in a proverb that talks a lot about disciplining your you know children going the wrong direction God this is a plan is good he's disciple of us he's bringing us back to the straight and narrow and he has to cut through that noise so I appreciate when God is direct than maybe sometimes even comes across as harsh but I need it I know I need it well to go to one of those proverbs that you mention is going to Chapter 10 verse 17 and this is in the fortune cookie section of Proverbs there are 17 he who keeps instruction is in the way of life but he who refuses correction goes astray you have this you know even that is now blah. You know what you have the idiot in the sky and you want to we all want to be the good guy but. You know I was talking to so my students recently and the base kind of situation with a friend and they don't want to hurt their feelings but they really were hurt my feelings anyways so that you have a son what should I do and so I told them what to do go talk to the person you see at the pain on their face right I've got to call I can't I kind of check nor am I Is that what you're doing right now yeah how's it going not good therefore what can we conclude if we get this idea that there must be a 3rd option like I don't I don't know what's wrong I don't want to us right so can there be like some like moral neutral and you sometimes have to do it anyways but we just have this desire to avoid pain or one embarrassment or avoid awkwardness and some way but to do what's right you can't just you can just hear it is struction but you actually have to keep it there is such a relief when you when you actually heat the instruction and you go through that maybe painful process once you're on the other side of that you're like wow that was actually really amazed I'm alive this is the way of righteousness I'm alive I made it through you know and it kind of goes back to the 1st probably read that you know you have knowledge of God in every aspect in every moment of your life that means that I mean who is God God is everything he is the source of all wisdom he is wisdom and he is all knowledge practiced in the perfect way and so he is all of that to us if we acknowledge him in that moment in that situation it might be hard or complicated I want to go through it as he leads us through the process we will experience wisdom is the right way you know it's also reminds me just of another Proverbs 2323 year 13142313 and 14. The problem or do not withhold Yes this is do not withhold correction from a child for if you beat him with a rod he will not die you shall beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from him. Again. Yeah. So it's it's one of those proverbs that I really appreciate this proverb especially verse 13 because it speaks against this trend against correction right from parenting to children in your family like we've all been in a grocery store in seen bad kids I mean it's like sometimes I walk to the store my kids and I remember I was with my son and you know as we're getting into the line you know he's asking for different things like Oh papa can I have this candy bar and also we're not getting any candy and he sees the kid in front of him asking his mom for candy and the moms like no we can't have candy in the kid starts throwing the groceries off out of the basket you know it's cetera et cetera and my son looks at me and he's like papa he needs to get a pop. He needs a power pole like this my 4 year old son telling me he needs to get out why so he's not listening to his mom he's not he's not being kind and so it's like OK. I don't I'm looking at the fact that even a child recognizes like that behavior is out of line and when you refuse to give correction or discipline to your child and your the Bible says listen if you withhold this thing you're actually sending them towards you're leading them down the path of pain they won't come back from after the break we're going to see what Sebastian did about this power. And look at how disciplined needs to be measured with love in the Book of Proverbs. Has increased been a blessing to you Do you have questions comments or feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching. On Facebook Twitter Instagram for you to while there join us like this comes up next a handle again is in 1st Bible states now back to the discussion. When tracking with us about who is telling a story about how his son was commenting on other people's children and how they need help out this is a style of. Raising children so Sebastian share with us from the principles of Proverbs out that applies so problems let us know that you should never withhold correction from your child it says you will deliver his soul from Hell there's no parent under the sun that wants their child to go to hell no parent wants that and therefore he lets you know that counter intuitive to what society is saying which is hey don't correct your children this is kind of harsh you know discipline is too much don't put them in timeout don't tell in the face the wall go to your room there's all this psychology going on but to me you can't get away from the wisdom of the word of gone it trumps all of these these elements of research and you know decades of things and people saying well no no you need to get away from this when in reality we've all seen it practically work out people who don't discipline their kids we see the results of that behavior and how that translates into society and we're going to sure that this that these principles always balance and then when Scripture there are there's an abuse of scripture sometimes Yeah well it is one of our sin like look I have now license to beat my children until her and so. Your principle of opt for for discipline and for correction and balance with other parts of scripture there is balance and love and affection and all that too so Kelly and John 2 aspects one is Yes The point is to discipline and to crush not to let your anger out like I'm so tired of this kid yelling to me so I'm going to beat them now like that's what I was I was a lot. About anger Yes and also beyond that being consistent so Sebastian doesn't just discipline one of his children but disciplines off for 7 how many you have. This is the one with negative but then you know you're I'll stop no shit from the way you're going to anyway I just you know I love you so be able to discipline all because kids notice inconsistency and that's what your son was point out like papa that's not OK right you know it's not OK but I'm a child which we're finding the latest research for for adolescents that they. Their brains are so sensitive with pattern recognition that they start seeing it was social behavior and social patterns then when their kids are just lying on Born again to their teen years they start saying dad treats me this way that person that way but i church that is this way there's inconsistency and then there's blame and shame going on on and hip pocket cause of. To your point I don't have children right now for idea of my high school students who I love like my my children and even then I mean yeah any kind Anyways any kind of deviation like they got in trouble for this but I did or they did and they'll call you out on it and you have to be consistent and loving that way and even beyond that and giving out discipline there are so many times I'm very sorry notice of how scared I have kids is that even when you're doing something that's right and it's loving and it's Biblical at it's best for them they still might not like it and think that you're being mean but going pass out of I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE YOUR opinion of me and I love you enough to do what's best for you even if you misunderstand because that's how God interacts with us and you know probably 13 if you could read that. Verse 241324 in Proverbs 1324 it says here he who spares his rod hates his son but he who loves him this applies him promptly I think it's kind of what you were saying you know God interacts with us in the same way he's not going to just let us run in and jump off the cliff he's going to warn us he's going to want to you know told duties don't go to the wreck show I mean how many times in my life can I remember when my parents were like you know this is not the right path if you know it you know stay away from that and sometimes we still go through with it but then we learn a lesson and move recognize hey you know they were right and they do love me and they do care about me so as you said in the in the moment me the one being disciplined in the realize that that is actually an action of love but afterwards as we grow older and so on we realize yeah and I'm just so appreciative that God is not just letting us do whatever we want and they're going to go around my dad used. Tell my brother when he would come home with that agreed some tribes and he would get disciplined My dad would say I'm not going to make it easy for you to feel the reason why I'm disciplining you is I don't want to make it easy for you to flunk out of school and make nothing of your life and in 10 years down the line you're like man I never finished high school I never you know got good grades and never went to college because he's saying you know you have to recognize that I'm so committed to the success you will eventually desire for yourself that I can't make it easy for you to end up this way and I feel like God does the same thing you know when he tells us you know that he's disciplining us out of love in the same sense is because God doesn't want to make it easy for us to be lost you know and if you think about it if it were not for pain or difficulties some of us would never be saved transition to some verses that I just think are one of the funniest Proverbs. In Proverbs if I was to go to chapter 21 verse 9 verse 9 and John of the can read it for yeah it's there better to do well in a corner of a house up than in a house shared with a contentious woman or yeah that's just is hilarious now there are the genders have been specified as a woman but we can easily switch that out as it with a spouse Yes but I mean you know back then they had square houses and they were able to go up to the 2nd floor and there was no one up there they would dry stuff and they put all their extra goods in there it's basically it's good to sit in the fetal position in the dark of your pantry and with a spouse that is just going tanker S. Yeah you know to verse 20211000 Chapter 21 verse 19 and smashing Can you read it for us it's better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious in Angry Woman OK So better to go out camping in the WHERE is no one around a little while if it's in the poisonous thinks living inside your home and then go to chapter 27 1st 15 and 16 and Kelly can you read 1516. A continual drip even on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike whether a strain service strains the wind and graft oil with his right hand so it's better to have no water torture then became very very rich if you know something about any modern contemporary translation of the law I mean. It's it's partially funny partially you know our generation the millennial generation there are the kids of parents many who are divorced who have had a lot of strife may have blended families just a lot or maybe parents were still married but you know it's just a lot of issues still going on because of whatever reason and what counsel is proverbs what is Solomon who had a 1000 wives 700 something and 300 something that he's got those 2 mixed up but he had a 1000 wives and you know he he specialized in the wife ology. What is what is proverbs saying or does is QUESTION Can you take well I think it's I think it's giving us a warning you know people sometimes what you think you can deal with in the beginning may become annoying and almost unbearable over time and it's repeatable on or you know like the drip in the water so it's just kind of like man you know I think I can handle it like this person does this and does that get someone else but it's OK we're in love and it's going to work out to look at 5 years down the line of the person doing the same thing you know having the anger problems being contentious being irritable over the smallest thing eventually that's going to rob all your joy of your happiness and I think Solomon is grappling with that reality that true happiness in life really does come down to the small things and something that may seem small in the beginning can literally overwhelm all the good things that come out of having this relationship which is being married and all the joys but it's just I mean this woman is contentious or this man has an anger problem and it just robs everything I also like how this shows these issues are contained in the home because sometimes. People can look like they're fine or married couples are like really like they interact really well he respects outside of the home but then they get divorced you know what will happen what's going on because families are like little you know he's on the he's not on the rooftop at night like you don't know. And I think that also again not about the size of 16 are focusing on these small things but about having proper communication and not taking out frustrations but talking through things and yes these things that seem so small like you know like we love each other or we're going to same way career wise both want kids and we must let me tell that's what's cool but these small things can become. Like torture. Different I want to. Know about it one approach to this for me to in my you know I've been married for a couple of years now and I see some things I'm so experience gradually Yeah thank you so you know some things as you said it comes out and you realize hey you know this is something that I thought I can overlook but it's actually really getting on my nerves but kind of turn into perspective perspective and be like hey instead of getting upset and annoyed and showing that in my or let it affect my the way I interact with my spouse let me pray let me pray for misspelt live and let me pray for myself and so let's use this thing that's actually annoying to bless both my spouse and be blessed in the process and I think that's something that Jesus will help us to do because in the moment you just want to you really annoying but you know you trust the Lord like OK you know just help me get a patients and vice versa I mean there are things that you should really annoy us both of us are real and so I believe that when we when we walk in the Lord he will totally help us in those moments to kind of choose the right thing and pray and you know these are issues to me have a also an implicit message they are an exaggeration to say they are kind of humorous and I think even in ancient times they did cause people to chuckle. True. And I think anyone who's married know is that see I mean marriage does not produce happiness you know ask anyone who's married they're there they're not like yes we have but it's being high I always say this being me being holy is what causes happiness and so we were learning we talk about couple episodes ago about marriage helps you to be more like Christ as a result but these these these these these verses because they're funny implicit messages humor does a lot. To like a relationship. Can also be used to pervert relationship can be used in a sarcastic critical you know like acidic way but it's also I mean we're all we're all idiots to some degree you know we're all the annoying contentious woman or man whatever but he levity causes some. One is in the smoothing over of our relationship so this is a funny story for my parents that they do that a lot is another story for a very funny and they went and heard a preacher recently and he talked about how when God or Jesus come the storm he told the storm to hush it's fuss and so my dad well sometimes my dad and my step mom are kind of like get out of his nerves and like one of those like Honey Hush or fuss. Of all start laughing is like we're fighting over something that we love and how they were committed like why really this get to was just a very funny thing to discuss the out of touch of us think it's funny Well I just think that in a relationship it is so beautiful to see when we can laugh together and we both realize hey we both don't have it all together you know when we stop being self-righteous and I compare you to myself and you compare yourself to you know as we when we both comparisons to Jesus we realize well we both are messed up and we need his help let's get through this together and you know in science Yeah we're in the same side career and I think that's when you have that kind of communication. Spouse and you have the you know that salt of humor in there I guess or maybe sugar if it's something that really really makes the process more enjoyable and that's the realities of like Justin was saying just the realities of your relationship you're going to have those moments where you're going to be better for me to be on the rooftop to be with this woman but the reality is you love them and you are with me and you are going to stick it out and I mean that I think conclusion of Proverbs is Proverbs 31 this is the Mother's Day chapter this is the your spouse's Happy Birthday chapter and though it talks about a wife this really is the ideal spouse issues diligent who is affectionate Who is because preparing you know all of life for the children kind of and really this is a shadow of who Jesus is and with all the back and forth with all the spouses and all the water torture gone on proverbs it ends on the character of Jesus Hopefully you've been blessed by this episode of In verse to be more like Jesus That's our prayer that's yours thanks for joining us we'll see you next week next episode here in verse you've been listening to a Bible based cost the same caliber as well Jonathan Walter Sebastian Baxter the secret doctor or your host just an. Inverse is brought to you by the folks at television that changes like this and more inspiring episodes there's an inverse that to you or I. Find this on social media. In the 1st 5 until next time this isn't.

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