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  • June 8, 2019
    9:00 AM

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You always do this I can't believe you did this again these questions sound familiar on this episode I look at family fights. Coming to you from Silver Spring Maryland welcome to. The Bible based conversation on my principles contemporary issues and thought provoking. Now here's your host just in time within for everyone welcome to inverse we're going to change it up a bit I want to ask you guys straight off the bat we've been looking at a lot of topics this season right from your memories and I know you're unprepared for this remember from this season that we've what topics we talked about families what do we talk about families on. Parenting parenting Yes I mean we talk about things on a single mistake like the one on single peroration for marriage for marriage we talk about sexuality in the region of marriage no preparation for preparation I forgot the yes very. I mean anything else we remember from from this Jesus is still the and Jesus. Christ knows yeah. All right all right well that's a that's a cue we need to have a word of prayer and we'll get into the topic of family fight so this is kind of a sensitive topic yeah and we want to just let you guys know out there that we are not from perfect families we have we don't have perfect families and we are probably guilty of a lot of the things that all human beings are guilty of and we are in this quest to find together what the Bible has to say and how our families can benefit from the Lord's blessing so prayer KELLY Yeah let's do it all right. Father in heaven thank you so much for your love and think you that you desire to enter into even the less beautiful aspects of our experience and I pray that as we discussed you've guided by your Holy Spirit and you lead us to practical and cry center truths many pray this in Jesus' name. And shouting verses in. Chapter 4 verse 26 in Sikh who can you read it for us a fusion chapter for verse 26 it says be angry and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your wrath but verse 27 as well no give place to the devil. Its Yeah it's a very full all over the. Jonathan what's going on and set us up for our discussion on whites and families and in this way it's called Little times of trouble other big time trouble little times of trouble well here in a fish and there's a couple things to keep in mind this section has got these 2 verses we just read are embedded in in an admonition of Paul 2 to not live like you used to live OK now it's time to follow the spirits leading in your life and you were created for righteousness holiness therefore put away away lying about 25 and then 26 he goes on to be angry and do not sin which is actually a quote from the Old Testament. Psalm 4 verse forces same thing Oh OK So so when we talk about anger that is something that I believe all of us have experienced in the Bible acknowledges that reality that there are moments when we get angry why do we get angry something of is upsetting us something is interfering with our values our perception of things and so it upsets us but it says here do not sin and don't let the sun go down on your wrath and don't give place to the devil so there seems to be 2 kinds of ways of dealing with anger or you have anger but then there seems to be like hey you know anger. It is natural it is a reaction to something that disturbs you but don't let it continue till the sun sets but sometimes anger is it wrong to be angry to begin with you know it's not wrong to be angry if you like you think it's not about and anger is an emotional reaction too and it's usually your perception of what is just or unjust and so if it comes from your framework you are more reality and so it's a visceral reaction to what you perceive to not be going the right way and that actually is a good thing because if you if nothing angers you then you have no standards there's nothing that could ever go wrong you know but but when you if you don't get angry then there's no standards you have. That is profound because God gets angry and not in the end we can be very careful we can attribute humen anger experiences to God but there is a visceral reaction to these things and it shows that it can lead to a decision so be angry OK and do not say so means you have a choice on whether or not your anger leads to send or not and sometimes we feel like it's well if I'm angry then is just a matter of time then I sin or just running or I have to express it this way but the Bible says it's not true you can be angry it's between right just so that's a term that many people want it what is righteous indignation righteous anger in their gesture and what is what is so I think goes back to what is it was saying it's you know anger is missed what happened is that in the gesture All right I'm righteous and you get angry when you're in those S. and I mean the kind of OK well OK back to the topic. So as we anger comes with comparison to to a set of values so righteous anger so the better depends on who what do you define as righteousness is it in my personal standards or is that you know the immovable standards that God has. I think that interfere or anything that So to say upsets God's standards is righteous anger I would think about things that maybe Jesus angry and things that didn't make. Right so I think of a time where people were saying like we were eligible child and you know who's you know our fathers who's your father and no reaction doesn't risk and versus other people personally attack and he did yeah she's like I don't I'm for this but I said these people defiling the temple of God that is Jesus angry and so it's like man so it's not just off I'm personally attacked and the cause was personally attacked and they had no right to say that it was disrespectful but that wasn't enough to bring out righteous indignation because that wasn't its focus because we modified that verse restraint 6 be angry but you can only be angry one is for other things are not for yourself. And I don't know if I would agree with this but I think emotions enough themselves are a moral OK I don't think they have more so you can be angry and that doesn't mean you're good or bad it just means your experience and emotion but in what you do based on that that's when it starts becoming a moral situation and that's why when it mentions and sin. For the devil does that example where you do get angry and a sin results as a result and giving place it what is that what is that I can give examples from my childhood. Confessions on here that I'm sure that I love my brother Ben Elton very much and he's we're very good friends now but back in the day we were not I mean the smallest thing like I'm writing with a pencil is like I want to present you take my pencil and I want to end his life that's not moral. I mean the side of us. So I did but I just because my brother took it and I was out of my brother so but the point is like he just took my pen or pencil so I could be angry like I don't like that but I could be like hey that wasn't nice can you please give it back that's a good response or like I'm a take all your stuff now that's that's the sending giving room to the devil party. Oh well I say that I think the. What you're saying about the the feeling the emotion itself is not necessarily the wrong part. But not just how you deal with it but even how you reflect on it realizing that you know why am I angry about this Am I angry because I was just personally attacked and it's my pride that's been hurt you know do I have a is there a good reason for me to be angry about this can't something good come out of this on top of it like can actually help the other person because sometimes yes it's my pride that was hurt and if I can go to Jesus and surrender that to him and then come back and think OK now this says something about the other person that would attack me personally how do I respond in a way that will actually help them in their walk with Christ you know so some point taking the focus off of myself and using that in most emotive response as a reflective moment opportunity Yeah you know so I think that in a situation where you know you get angry there could be an element of Hey I'm not realizing why I'm angry so for example I remember as a child so confession time with my much time I would so much want to hang out with my brother you know he's 6 years older and I remember his friend was there and he wanted to be with friends you know but I want to you know be part of that I longed for connection with my brother in that moment I really want to be with him and he was just I mean he held the door at the door I was not allowed in and I would get angry and sad and i would you know. There are reasons why he didn't want me there but there were reasons for going to him but for me I didn't realize that my Actually the thing that I actually you know I'm angry but I actually just want to have a lot of you know so I didn't know how to deal with that and so I would get angry I think we have to understand that sometimes we are angry out of reasons that are you know if we would confess what's really going on we would have to make us very vulnerable it's not that I'm just like any other person I just I want to love but I don't get it's all this is my reaction I think that's so true I don't think Ngar is always a cover emotion but I do think it's more often than. We think it is because it feels more powerful to feel angry than hurt or scared or the constant emotion it's so complex it's happening in and out it's covering it's going in and out and it's on it's bits of emotion that out how can logic. Is emotion is what it is it is going to the next part there do not let the sun go down on your read can you explain a little is that a time element is that a metaphysical thing with the solar system or the sun going down what is talking what is the Bible talking the thing that you've got to do my talk yeah I am. Getting rid of my life you know I go. That's my go to it it's my go. I think it shows the that if you are angry to not hold a grudge for the difference between experience and anger and as you said like reflecting on it holding onto it and I'm going to be mad at you and it's happened to me too you know as I've gone past my violent tendencies and I've gotten older mature sometimes I want to go talk to this person I don't want to talk to me but about the still holding a grudge if there is an issue talk to them about it and have a conversation and even if for some reason they are immovable they won't have a conversation I can still choose to forgive them and let go of my anger and I just take it from me so I think part of it is just like experience anger but don't like stay with it don't let the sun go down on that experience this is also a neurological I always come back to the neurology of things is that once you know you hold this gradually you can put it you hold on to that and you go to sleep and your brain has probably it's almost as if this you have absorbed it during your sleep and then people from a part of you and you wake up and you're still it's now on resolve and it's it's part of your being whereas if it's resolved before you go to bed and it's just something you've experienced and just kind of let go for the day and it's kind of a slow change that can have bitterness can be very dangerous. Because being a practical element I think. There are people process differently and. And on this is not letting the sun go down on your anger I think just being a little bit careful about making a very very very practical I mean literal application of it because there are some people who. It takes time for them to process even to think through what they're feeling like to think through what their reaction is and before they can even address it with the person who has angered them or whatever and and I think that's OK to allow that time and sometimes it's necessary to sleep on it and process but I think the core thing is not to hold on to and not holding onto it and becomes your best friend like a text my friend. Because that the real if you hold on to it you're really just saying I'm not going to change anything about my opinions or what I am I'm keeping my standards sort of to myself but if my standards don't align with God's standards then this is not a good thing it's a prideful thing so don't let you know don't let some good on it think about it reflect upon a process that maybe what your reaction was totally off and there needs to be opportunity for you to go and make things right and the more you spend time looking at this verse in the fusions about anger and about the Son and the metaphysical components of anger and then all these things but now we're going to apply them to the family and what happens in the internal smaller dynamics or talk about that one come back. As immersed in a Blessing to you Do you have questions or comments or feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching. On Facebook Twitter Instagram or You Tube while there join us like us. I handle again in 1st Bible states and now back to the discussion. Welcome back we are talking about anger management issues and when the Bible has to say we believe we really looked at a girl from every perspective from. In asking me open question this isn't it easier to get into into anger situations with family absolutely all why why is that because I don't know how does all this well we're getting a lot of reaction. So with a stranger they don't know how to push the buttons like Ben has grown up with you they know exactly you know how to anger when it's. Oh and they're just left me wrong I'm like oh I did have siblings I don't know this is a foreign concept explain this to me. I'm going to complain that they have you know to push their buttons but at the same time you know in society if I were in public you know you don't want people to think bad about you so you're kind of you're scared of a perception people have family always kind of family like they suddenly choose not to be your brother or sister anymore I guess some people do that but you technically you can so they have to live with it and so there's less guarding the restraints that social pressure hold now you're just OK you know it's like you already know anyways you've known since you were born you both know so and I just siblings and parents could be grandparents in laws depending on I think in the same way that I you know about marriage of it's it can be the greatest blessing because it's so close but it can also be the greatest curse because so close and I could be just even non-romantic parts of family like it is my parents or siblings they can be the most beautiful relationship because like you really know me and you really stick by me but can also be awful because you know insults coming from my brother Ben that cuts deeper than anything anybody else can say it's like oh you're about SR or like your whatever like that hurts because you know me so I can actually listen to you because you have the authority to say that I'm in my as they say it's heaven on earth or 80 double hockey stick on on Earth Yes So what are some Bible verses give us I mean there's there's people out there maybe there are you or we are around this table and we're pretending to be perfect and I have no problems but we give us some Bible verses give them some. But the Bible knowledge what can we say to people who have issues with my brother and sister son daughter. I'm going to keep going on until you go see something I'm going to. Go just over an hour later because I was going to go to the in-laws and start with you know because that's what he says in verse 97 is 7. OK I'm ready. Says Do not hastening your spirit to be angry for end the rest in the bosom of fold and I appreciate. It saying Take time to think about the way that you are reacting basically and I think what Kelly was saying about you know with family and people who are close to you people that you have allowed into your life it's easy to just you know gut reaction or whatever that was the reaction but what this is calling for is for a time of reflection and it reminds me of in 1st Corinthians 13 minute talks about what love looks like this is kind of you know you think love and anger the more you love the more the more you can be angry at the hurt. But even when talks about love like love is actually something that you are intentional about though so there's intentionality in our relationships to how I react to the way that I'm being treated or how did I treat other people. Another aspect isn't James one James one says 19 and 20 years of James in this park County. And says Therefore my beloved brother and let every man be swift to hear slow to speak slow to rest for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God and I would just yeah just be very quick to listen I'm not quick to speak I'm not quite to be angry and then in verse 20 he says can I buy the wrath of man does not produce righteous of God Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking we have righteous indignation like well they were being bad therefore this is fine but no this is the wrath of man you know. Interesting because you mentioned earlier Jesus who did not get angry when they were making fun of his family and his background and yeah mis stating what really happened right but then when the temple happened the temple cleansing he did get angry and he had every right to get angry the 1st time he did he chose not to for him it was not so important. It was the father everything was about the father I think this is kind of interesting that he chose you know very intentional This is where I'm going to react I don't know if we as human as broken human beings are able to do that kind of thing but it's just one of yeah I think that brings a good point too about we can even we can choose those times even have the right to possibly lay down our rights for the Gospel and thinking about leave reacting this way further God's cause or not and sometimes there are cases too even if it's not about the temple of defending other people or defending truths. But sometimes something I try to implement my students is if they do upset me and they do deserve punishment to say we'll talk about this later even if I have a very colorful description of what I want to happen to them just like we'll talk about this later because I want to reflect and think about it and make sure it's it's not reactionary even if I'm right you know I want to make sure I'm doing what's best for them and not just something that I'm reacting to and I want to establish I mean these are these are good versus But it could be that we study the same Bible we descend verses in some people will read James Chapter one Verse 19 and says be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath and then say OK well I'll do that and they do it and nothing happens or they do it and still they have anger issues and so just from a different perspective that these these bible verses are not these are not it's not advice for us yeah I mean this is we are not to follow and follow me that want to follow these words just because they say them and what I'm saying is we can almost have a legal this thick perspective on some of these bible. Oh the Bible said it well I got a I just got to try harder rather it's the impossibilities I can't do that I can do that and we come to the Lord on our knees and say look I can't do this I've tried I can't do this but this is not advice for me to do this is what you promised that you can do in the interests I'm looking forward to for you to do this and leaning on that and what I found from my experience is not trying harder but to focus on my relationship with Jesus more and I know that sounds cliche but what you said about they call them a little illegitimate child but he was like you know it's you know well about and like to dwell on that story and to think and to memorize those verses and then to replay that narrative while I'm going with other people calling me for a change you want whatever it is you know I mean I'm I'm not going to like me on that and the cool thing is this is like the cool thing is is the more I hang out with Cali and I become like. The more Jesus knows this name and. The more I become like seeker the more I get Jonathan I'm becoming like Jonathan and the but. Is also a person and the more I hate the Jesus I become like I think that's to transform a secret even though we're reading the same Bible we're going to the same church we're the same you know not at all that that shift just makes it all the difference I think this is a computer full point because even even if we're trying and our day to day lives to shield ourselves from bad influences we still as we are sinners we interact with centers and so we have to counteract that by saturated our minds or as I've heard you say burn our eyes on Jesus and so it might seem like a lie you know I talk to Jesus I got the thought I recall moving on but we are inundated by sin all day long that we have to make even more effort more effort to saturate That's right and it's right and I'm seeing to that practically. You know instead. Ations where my kids are I've said this so many times I want to. As I know I know you're just a child but I know you're doing this intentionally and sometimes it's really just to push a button because they do it and then they look at you like what is your reaction do it now. And anyone with little children it was exactly what. You know and in that moment like sometimes especially if you haven't had a long week or a lot and you're just your brain is fried You know you're just exhausted self-control gets hard you know and in those moments like coming to God like in a very real way you know. It's driving me nuts like Lord. Help me and they've been times where with my son he just made me upset OK stand here and I pray and I pray for myself and he standing there looking at me like. Oh yeah I mean. You know I think it's kind of breaks down to what you were saying earlier it's humility it's recognizing the more I look at. You know the more I'm broken I am and if I if I'm aware of that then I will think in the moments where I get angry or upset about something and it might not be wholly wrath you know might not be a righteous anger realize OK you know even though I really want to. Know I know that is sinful reaction and in this case and so that's when I go home and he's not Jesus take the wheel over him and take over that I'm going to sing some competition. It's a good message we support it is that act of surrendering the neck of humility in the light of the fact that I am a pro can individual and I need my sleep and I don't have as I just want to harp on this again of it's not just in the morning or in the evening but like in the very experience Jesus right now I'm being pushed beyond capacity please help me right now and I think I used to just think like well if I didn't get my battery charger the morning we have to wait till tomorrow we can always call probably name of genius and just like I don't feel your promise please come through for me right now plus I'm thinking about in terms of meditating on On Christ the way that God reacts when he could get angry and just you know but the way that God reacts. In the face of I guess the worst thing would be sent right. When Winston is introduced into the universe is introduced into the world how he reacts is not like Rob high and brimstone I mean we're still here and with sin and then we deserve rights and we often place human image upon God so that God does get angry it's mentioned in Scripture but we think what is the worst human anger I've seen that must be walked on like and that's that's clearly not the case and I also want to establish that there are situations where there are just emergency abuse crazy situations and what we've talked about is not to enable further abuse and conflict sometimes there are moments you just got to pull out get out and run away so we're not these are these aren't universe soul you know glib answers but for the general population that is just you know I was getting annoyed with your husband or your children who does not want me or any one of us we need the Lord Jesus to help us and this is been a very very personal. Moment for me correct I may be anger issues but we need the Lord Jesus and so hopefully I've been blessed by this conversation if you have been reading the same Bible the same Bible promises as we have it's not about just following what the Bible asked the say the Bible is giving us the end a picture of what we can become by His grace and the thing that we need to do is get on our knees and pleaded with the Lord Jesus for the Holy Spirit and in His goodness won't he give us the Holy Spirit take time now to pray after this this this episode and ask the Lord Jesus Lord I give my family to you I give my anger to you I give my character to save me and my family that's my prayer it's a prayer for my mind my friends here hopefully it's yours thanks for joining us we'll see you next week next episode here on in verse. You've been listening to inverse a Bible based part of the station the callee word is wrong God Jonathan Walter Sebastian Braxton. And your host Justin. Inverses brought to you by the folks at the television that changes lives but this and more inspiring episodes is an inverse Dr Hope T.V. news that Origen find this on social media. In the 1st 5 until next time this isn't verse.


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