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Social Media Mayhem & the Internet Infection - Part 4

Christian Berdahl


The five-part seminar starts with a deep look at the dangers and benefits of the Christian life. Then dives deeper into the latest scientific findings on the impact of social media on the family and society. The Internet is here to stay and in many ways is a great tool. Learn how to discern and evaluate its use properly so it is a blessing in our life and not a curse.Social Media 


Christian Berdahl

Founder of Shepherd's Call music ministry




  • June 21, 2018
    10:45 AM
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So let's do a quick review before we began yesterday we discovered more about brain hacking and addiction coding experts shared with us and high level insiders in the tech industry shared with us that the tech industry live eat and sleep how they can get us addicted to our devices and our online experience. Silicon Valley is after us being on our screen or on their app on their websites so they can sell our eyeballs to advertisers we've found that the user interface of every app we use is designed to do use the pleasure centers of the mind of course this leads to addiction and it's left to us we discovered to protect our minds and the minds of our children so we're going to now start looking specifically at social media we've looked at a lot of media we talked a little bit here and there about social media and this section will entitle social media disconnect now what is social media let's start by defining it social media is the soul so interaction among people in which they create or exchange information and ideas in virtual communities and networks so whenever we say social media we're talking about what happens to socially on. Online and in different networking communities it's a virtual world it's a virtual community it's not indeed a community like we would normally think and we're going to bear that out today there are sites like Facebook You Tube Twitter Pinterest Instagram nap chat Linked In and a plethora of others there are so many different social networking sites out there but these are the top ones that we have looked at some and we will look at today so how much time do we as Americans been on these site you'll be pretty amazed Americans spend 74000000000 minute on social media via a home computer 40800000000 minutes the app 5700000000 minutes the mobile web browser or a total of $121100000000.00 minute on social networking. You have to understand this is just in America in one year let's put that into perspective though that's equal to 2000000000 hours but what does that mean that means 84000000. That translates to 23365000. Every year so what we're saying is that we're spending a lot of talk on social media websites as an American people and in some countries is higher in some countries is lower now what amazes me is if we were to think about that amount of time over 230000 years. What if we took that time and that energy and actually did something in our actual community Amen what what happened to this country and around the world if we put even half of this amount of energy into our actual communities that we live and breathe in but no we spend 230000 years a year in time in virtual communities and are they building up our communities as a whole so how much time let me ask a very pointed question how much time are you spending or should I say perhaps even wasting on social media now everything we do on social media is not necessarily a waste and when we at our ministry we do have a Facebook account and a page and we are putting out there what the Lord's doing in the ministry encouraging people there are good uses of course to the media but the challenge is a lot of us are just wasting a bunch of time and then we don't have time to do the more important things in our life right maybe it's time to reassess to just step back and there are people doing this now around the country and around the world and we will look into a little bit of that they're starting to wake up and go whoa wait a 2nd how come this is running my life if anything I need to learn how to run it so it doesn't run me according to a study referenced in an article is the connection generation actually the alienated generation it says that nearly 40 percent of American spend more time socially socializing via the internet than in real life that's that's approaching half of our brothers and sisters are spending more time socializing online then in face to face communication. And this trend is going to only increase my friends if we're not careful social media has the potential to make us less social and indeed the studies are revealing that it's a surrogate for the real thing it's a surrogate it's a surrogate frankly for real face to face communion or to be truly effective. Truly effective communication vehicle all parties bear responsibility to be genuine and accurate and not allow it to replace human contact altogether and friends if you think what you're seeing on the Internet and on social media is genuine and accurate you are sadly mistaken and I will give you some examples as we progress and tomorrow as well so further because most communication is now done via emails text messaging the potential for misinterpretation is growing Have you ever had that happen you know when you're talking face to face with someone you can read their face you can read their expressions you can see how they're reacting to what you say and then you might modify what you said write or re explain it in a different way so as to maybe not hurt their feelings or so there's not a misunderstanding the problem with this at arm's length even worse than that at the world blank way far away this kind of communication is that there's no context or which we're saying these thing this is why they came out with emoticons and they're called emoji by short today and these emoji if I'm just kidding with you I better put in a Moji so you can figure out I'm kidding with you because you can't read my face or my body language right. But we have to be careful because this is what's happening with social media there's a lot of misunderstanding because it's a lower form even though it's high tech it's a lower form of communication so when someone writes a text in all capital letters does that mean that they're yelling some people say yes some people go they're just trying to make a point I don't know I don't know what's the context right are one or 2 word response is a sign that the person doesn't want to engage yes or OK now. Maybe right we don't know why because we're not face to face on the flipside does a smiley face mean an acknowledgment of agreement or is somebody just happy right now we have some issues here to. Conclusions are drawn on frighteningly little bits of information as global citizen we must find a way to take advantage of all the amazing benefit of our technology enabled world why ensuring that we are not losing touch with the most important important relationships we have in our lives unfortunately the research and studies are starting to paint a picture that's pretty gloomy Here's a funny little anecdote with sent to me by a friend it said we had a power added outage at my place on Saturday morning and my P.C. my laptop my T.V. my D.V.D. My i Pad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down and then I discovered my i Phone battery it was flat I couldn't access my work e-mail network and to top it off it was a rainy day outside so I couldn't go outside. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also need power so I talked with my wife for an hour seems like a nice person. Isn't that a telling little tale right as silly as that is sadly I think that it's the reality in many home couples and even entire families are disconnected from each other because everyone is hyper connected to their tech we could sit in the same room but all be on different devices having different experiences and not orienting one with the other and this is now family time because we should we cohabitate in the same fate what a cheap replacement or good old solid communion with each other so let's look at social media's impact on us. While social media platforms definitely have their benefits and they do using them too frequently can make you feel increasingly unhappy and isolated in the long run the constant barrage of perfectly filtered photos that appear on Instagram are bound to knock many people off of the low while we obsessive Lee check our Twitter feed just before we go to bed could be contributing toward our poor quality of sleep so we're going to look at 6 ways that social media could be negatively affecting your mental health without you even really realizing it 1st of all it can radically assault self image. Now when I mean by so I'm not talking like a pop psychology version of that what this means is like who am I in Christ and who is he made me to be and do I have value in his eyes Yes So much so that he died for me right and then we all have our fair share of insecurities we all struggle you know. That we speak about they may speak about their struggles openly and others prefer to keep it to themselves however here's what happened we compare ourselves to others on social media by stalking their as medically perfect Instagram photos or staying staying up to date with their relationship status on Facebook and unfortunately this starts to bring in the thoughts of well I'm not that pretty well I don't have that kind of relationship and unfortunately all it does increase these feelings of self-doubt and. Loping. Study conducted by the University of Copenhagen found that many people suffer from and this is what they call it Facebook in be with those to abstain from using the popular site reporting they felt more satisfied with their lives so they had the study where they separated people and they said look you know what let's separate some people let's see those who aren't social media specifically on Facebook and let's separate some people for a while and let's have them let's see what the results are so the people that were off a spot for just a short time actually feel happier about their lives but they're not constantly comparing it with a life that they just probably are not going to have seriously if you thought about that well look at that a little bit tomorrow. Social media can cause it to become very dissatisfied with our lives Dr Tim Bono author of When likes aren't enough explaining when we derive a sense of worth based on how we are doing relative to others we place our happiness in a variable that is completely beyond our control you see how dangerous that is so if I'm trying to figure out where my happiness is going to be based on that of the lives of other by the way which is they're not really showing you the real life they live we think that they are when when half of everybody we know it's more than half actually that they're faking it and they're presenting what they call like who they really would like to be version of themselves. I got some crazy examples of that will attest to morrow so social media makes it easy to compare our lives with others and that's not good for our mental health because frankly my friends the standards are always changing what's hit today and you finally catch up is not hip anymore right years the trick by the way if you want to stay current and hip just keep all of your old clothing for a generation and they always come back around as humans we cannot help being somewhat competitive in I think many of our natures we tend to judge ourselves by comparing our lives with other people. Think about our poor daughter who are trying to keep up with the car dash and who have by the way these these families in these models have teens a professional makeup artist and wardrobe stylist sculpting them into the perfect versions of themselves while our little girls are sitting at home with a little bit of makeup and a little bit of hairspray trying to make themselves look like a superstar What does this do. It breeds discontent discontent it breeds even self loathing there's some serious stuff going on when it comes to self image some major concerns we need to look at we will never look like them in fact they don't even look like themselves unless they have those high paid people making it happen Have you ever seen when when somebody just shows up before they have their make up them any of these celebrities are the star and they show up you're like wow they look real normal and then by the time they're done with their hair the makeup the outfit and the perfect lighting you're like Wow That guy's a really handsome dude or wow she's a beautiful lady but before you're like wow she got lost just kinda like me that's the point nobody's posting that look up jacked up I look today they're just not doing that but the problem is I may be having a messed up life today and I'm looking at everybody else perfect pictures and it breeds this discontent there must be something wrong with me the result is that we're comparing ourselves to highly polished people or versions of a moment in someone else's digital virtual life which can lead to feelings we talk about the latest research by the disability charity Scope found that and we're talking about self-image 60 percent felt jealous of their peers on social media and 60 percent of young people are jealous of what they see in their friends' lives and social media 62 percent felt isolated so if I lined up 10 young people and the numbers are staggering really close for adults as well not just young people if I lined up 10 people right here 6 of them would say when I'm on social media I'm jealous and I feel isolated. So that's a majority that's that's a problem that you think so be it on Facebook Twitter or Instagram using social media extensively can actually increase your loneliness and loneliness can even lead to depression or even were interesting way enough people with low self-esteem they found tended to be more active on social media so you already suffer from low self-esteem it's kind of like listening to sad music when you're sad what's it going to do it's going to increase your sadness right the happy alternative would be I'm sad I'm going to listen to some happy music why it can help lift me out of a pit of despair if I'm going to use music as my remedy of course running to Christ is the best remedy ever so if you are having a struggle with your self image I don't I don't really know. What my image. Then don't go on social media it's only going to increase that problem right what would be the antidote to that why don't you go into it with so many that you know loved you and believed in you and wants to help lift you up and help you across your trial 1st run the crisis then go to a pastor or a mother or father but we don't do that we run to this virtual bank world to find ourself were. They use social media those who have low self-esteem mostly for this difficulty self promotion but sometimes they don't get the like or the positive feedback they don't go viral and so they split deeper into reclusive behavior and retreat back into their own loneliness and so goes the cycle. There's no way out of it unless you break free from it the National Health Service in the U.K. has identified an alarming trend among girls listen up this is very related to social media use they attribute stress and social media with a 68 percent increase in the hospital admissions or self harming behaviors in girls and these 26 increase for boys but we have a we have a 68 percent increase and a 26 percent increase but what scares me is that nearly 70 percent of our young girls are starting to physically hurt themselves because of social media they're cutting themselves I just talked to a girl this past weekend when I was in California at a different camp meeting and you know what she and I talked the year before and we talked a couple times throughout the year and she had some very unfortunate things happen to her I tell people my story when I give my testimony sometimes people come out of the word work because I was abused neglected molested beaten tied up all kinds of stuff when I was a child horrible childhood and so when I tell my testimony how Christ delivered me from all of that and made me a servant of His people get encouraged but they also want to talk. So this young lady young girl come to me she was 15 last year and said I really need to talk to you have seen your testimony and so we edged out some time and she started to tell me how that a relative of hers had molested her for 2 years straight when she was starting to become a young woman. And this started to mess with their mind and then I told her some things you need to do with some people who need to talk to and a phone number she needed to call it resulted in praise God and a rest of the family member a man and he told my wife a story I forgot to tell you sweetheart praise the Lord this young sister Jay has had some movement in her life but then she confessed to me but I'm still cutting She grabs a knife or a razor blade and cuts her where other people can't see it and so we sat down and we talked about it and I did talk to her about being careful to be online and looking at everybody else's life thinking everybody else is perfect and there you're the only one that has these problems which is a bunch of baloney and as a result that there we talk she's all what I was saying she understood going to call me when she needs to and she's made a deck I told you make a decision right now you don't cut yours Nell I love you your grandmother loves you your other family members love you that one person that was doing that to you that person didn't but we do and you have tremendous value so. In that situation I understand that that terrible thing that happened to her started the ball rolling right but now she sees all these other people who have these perfect lives online and it beats her down more you see the problem 2nd area of concern with social media's impact on our lives in our human connection as human beings it's so important for us to be able to communicate and forge a personal connection with one another however it can be hard to do so when were glued to the little rectangular screens becoming more acquainted with our friends digital thawed rather than their real life. New research discovered one in 3 Americans so that's 33 percent roughly days they are more likely to meet someone new online than in the real world now that means a 3rd of US 100000000 over 100000000 but 115000000 Americans say you know what I meet new people online more than I do face to face that's a problem in another article entitled well connected well connected several reports are cited a decline in face to face contact with they say this has identified a dramatic decline in hours per day of face to face those will interaction as the use of electronic media dramatically increased though Here's a graph and as you will see as our our electronic media use increased Now this is over 20 year period from 20072987 to 2007 a 20 year period as our electronic media use increased guess what happened our social interaction face to face decrease in almost equal proportion look at that so what this is saying is the more time we spend on social media in the virtual community we are neglecting the actual community right is anybody awake all right praise look you know with the bright lights you can't see but bunch of blobs sitting there trying to see your faces hazel or there's the smiles a man I know this is heaven. You know but I love you enough to tell you God love me enough to tell me right men social scientists recently reported that less than 2 decades. The number of people saying there is no one with whom they discuss important matters nearly triple they don't have those compliments anymore the numbers of both kin and non kid kin confidence is described as dramatically smaller we don't have our confidence anymore like we use so this socially empty surface level connection it's got enough of the very thing that God wants us to help God says Do not forsake the gathering together of yourself and the devil saying oh I've figured out a way to where they don't want to hang out with each other anymore ever see it like that God has come together and the devil goes I'll make them think they're coming together but they're losing the skills to come together. Almost like the devil knows what he's doing the report also said this breaks my heart couples now spend less time in one another's company and more time at work commuting or in the same house but in separate rooms using different electronic media devices and parents are spending less time with their children than they did only a short decade ago another concern is anxiety due to foam all anybody knows what photo is it's a very popular term in the media world the online world it means fear of missing out this is like a big think Phone It's where people feel that others are having fun without them you know Sanders a former model who has 107000 followers on Instagram explain how social media sometimes makes her feel like she's being left out here's what she says I know from my experience I can get foam all. You're missing out when I see my friends photos of a party I didn't go to and this in turn can make me feel quite lonely and anxious there's this beautiful supermodel who's saying I get upset and I feel lonely why because she's seeing what everybody else doing before you didn't hardly know what everybody else was doing right and it was helped us thing it was a blessing as a preacher a present truth as a man that wants to share the 3 angels message in the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the world I can go on Facebook and just peruse because I see what God's people are doing in a reinforces in my mind all we like sheep have gone astray I don't need that omni present day man there is one that can handle it and his name is God and I have figured out I am not he people report experiencing anxiety because they don't feel smart enough or as interesting as or as successful as others which keeps them engaging from engaging in person because they feel inadequate online because they are seeing this imagine everything I possibly can do all this and look at my success and look at my new suit bubble bubble walk they say to themselves you know what understand a recoil so then they suffer because they're not even having the face to face interaction anymore they recoil from all of it because they are equal equating in their mind the virtual with the real A study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology that assessed $5208.00 subjects included overall regular use of Facebook had a negative impact on an individual well being. Now this is not someone that's trying to tear down Facebook or social media they're saying let's look at the statistics let's look at the numbers let's study the lives of over 5208 people and let's see how this is that impacting them and their conclusion it's going to mess with your well being that to me is very significant You see what social media does is it establishes a false sense of being social follow me for a moment it's a false sense of being social although using social media may have a pair to connect you with other people it's actually a solitary activity not a social activity it's a solitary activity with you and your device and you think you're accessing socially all these other people the reality is Friend true social lives are in the way of like communism but being socialized happens. And this is a cheap virtual replacement Facebook Twitter and the like they simulate social interaction but the result can be one of loneliness people who use social media throughout the day tend to become more sad or feel more disconnected from people in their real lives social media platforms track the number of connections that you have and in most cases display this number publicly so you know what I don't know where I'm up now but my numbers are really I've got over 10000 friend I think it's 14000 or something now I don't have 14000 friends are you kidding me how could you even keep track of 14000 friends oh by the way you can. 14000 and something like 4000 something on the other page there's no way to keep track of that many people but they're called friend and some of them are but most of them aren't but we say we have 14000 friends but why do I feel so and how come nobody's come and rescue me coming to my aid because it's only those that are really in your life that really love you and really care about what's going on in your life that make a difference in your life that's what So we have these with these weigh on social media to collect more friends to collect more connections so they say and the number of connections becomes like a status symbol I got kind of sucked into this a while number of years ago I'm like well I've got 5000 friends well 5000 people like me you see there could be a problem with that of course there's a major problem with that because you look at some of the other preachers knew go Oh wow yes 7000 people that like him I must not be as good a preacher is. You don't think that everybody struggle we all do but we need to be aware of it and go you know what this is they all the to that appears to be something tangible and it's not because frankly the only one that I need to make proud is God my father amen because in Him I have my self-worth in Him I have the true value of my soul and so much that he died to save me he gave his life to save mine that gives me tremendous tremendous intrinsic value to him I don't need a social media platform to tell me if I'm valuable or nah. Having friends in social media however is not the same as having friends in real life but the problem is often those who have many connections on social media can actually lead a more anti-social existence because they have bought into the fact that they have a social life are you following this OK good so there's more to keep up with there's more of a tight knit and enticement to spend additional time with social media because now that's what social being socialized is no friend. Replacement for truth. And the more time spent on social media the more time it takes communicating in person it makes it much more difficult because the way we communicate online is vastly different than looking someone in the eye and communicating with them this is now becoming one of the law are in our time just face to face. At the last Are we need to be careful how we allow social media to replace face to face human connection number 3 looking at social media's impact on us Number 3 1st we had self image human connection and now memories so let's look at social media's impact on our memories social media can be a great way and it is fun to look back on memories and recount how past events occurred right and if you have Facebook account you and understand you go oh wow that's right I forgot about that it's akin to looking through a photo album innocent. However it can also distort the way in which you remember certain events in your life many of us are guilty or guilty of spending far much far too much time trying to take the perfect photo or video of a visual Marvel or some event that's happening to us right then in there all the while we are not actually absorbing firsthand the experience and witnessing it for ourselves and coming to impressions and thought with our own 2 eyes because many of us now are living our lives through this little screen and the whole world there that event is happening and OK OK look at it. And we're so concerned with capturing it that we don't capture it you follow what I'm saying it doesn't become part of me it's not one of my memories now I'm capturing it so everybody else can look at it and it's not going to make a memory for them it's just another thing to look at in the list of a 1000 things to look at today but what it does we put so much out there that nothing is important anymore you know you used to grab the camera the actual physical camera when there was an important event right right and what will we do we take some photos of the event and we continue on with enjoying the event but now we feel like we're documentarian that the document everything I've been guilty of this I have a video production background I think in pictures any time I'm asking God to just let me enjoy it and let me just did Joy I don't need to look through the camp up a good angle I wouldn't do it that way or that you know come on enjoyed that. But we're too wrapped up in this idea that if I don't get this out there I'm not being social when I am not engaged in the actual social event right in front of me. Now how is this happening this crazy it is crazy many miss out on important moment because they are like I mentioned their ironically distracted trying to share those moments on social media. Incredible So let's become aware of it let's see if we're you have us are struggling with these problem. And we need to embrace and experience life for ourselves when it happened building lasting memories that are just for you and your loved one the whole rest of the world doesn't need to know save something for your elf Number 4 we got a jam because I'm on 21 of 70 I got 34 minutes so I'm going to start speaking that though so media can negatively impact our sleet having enough sleep is a power amount important of course however many of us use our phones in bed making it harder to doze off Dr Bono explains getting worked up with anxiety or in the From what we see on social media keeps the brain on high alert for bending us from falling asleep he continues plus the light from our mobile device just inches from our face can suppress the release of melatonin a hormone that helps to feel tired so that little blue light that's on your phone and even bright light it's going to reset your circadian rhythm and you're not going to sleep as well. Attention span it's not just your subconscious brain that we need to be worried about but also the extent to which your brain is fully able to concentrate throughout the day what they're finding is all this instant gratification is causing problems with our attention span and while it's Raese to consider just how much information we have at our fingertips on the net and on social media we have to be careful because it's far easier to become distracted though so media has provided means of constantly giving in to the temptation of instant easy access intertainment students seem to struggle more than most students become victims of social networks more often than anyone else and I would say that's probably because they are on it more than anyone else when they are studying or searching for their course material online they get attracted to these sites to kill the boredom in their study time diverting their attention from the work resulting in reduced learning and research capabilities you see now it's so easy to find information that young people don't even know you need to vet the information they don't know how to research anymore so they're losing these research capabilities multitasking we talked about that frankly being a thought yesterday it reduces command over language use and creative still writing the more time students going on social media site sites the less time they tend to spend those allies in person and with others and this reduces communication hurting their ability to communicate and socialize effectively in person employers are reported as getting more and more unsatisfied with the communication skills of fresh graduates due to this reason they don't even know how to communicate in an interview why well can we just do this interview over text I'll be great. Students unfortunately usually use playing word or shortened forms of the word to take out all the vowel and they have all the binocular that they use in fact what's crazy is when my little niece my young niece little and more about my young niece graduate from high school at her high school graduation a girl put together like a video yearbook and she put this video together of the year for the seniors recalling significant moment and as it started it was like L.O.L. rolling on the floor laughing you know and then all these different things were popping up and so people were kind of laughing long going oh that's cute that's kind of funny but the whole video had nothing but text binocular and what was crazy was when they looked at her and said Why did you do that she said what you put all the text in captions that you had in there it was all text it wasn't actually full length words sentences and she went back and looked at it and hadn't realized she did that that means that girls spend away too much time doing this right. Of course it lowers grades because they're being distracted when they're studying for tests those who are allowing the distractions social media to come or 20 percent less than their students that don't loss of motivation and of course time wasted time wasted is a huge one while searching and studying online students get distracted by social media sites because all of the notifications keep coming in and we looked at that study the 1st day I think it was her 2nd day where Katie Couric and. New roof Aoki they were sitting there looking at that screen and they had to concentrate but when their phone went off it was distracting them young people never turn those things ah. And they just they're distracted in fact I finally said to my son Tyler I said Tyler Berdahl now he was a he was already of age now he was 19 and I'm like son you have got to shut that thing off at least when you're sleeping it was laying there beside him in bed. Being pounding. I mean just I was like How can you sleep oh guess what you can't and then tomorrow you can perform right what if you're operating a vehicle what if you're trying to study for a test what if your your your driving heavy equipment or a 1000 other things in your so exhaust you can't even focus. On the. 6 those the media's impact it has a deep impact on our mental health not only has social media been proven to cause unhappiness but it can also lead to the development of mental health issues such as diagnosable anxiety and depression when used too much or without caution it was reported from a survey of a 1000 individuals that more than a 3rd of generation the now that's people that were born from the mid ninety's to about mid 2000 they shared that listen they were thinking of quitting social media for good or. Hey here's some light bulbs gone off Amen and as 41 percent stated that social media platforms make them feel anxious sad or depressed I don't care if the studies say this when the kids are saying what I'm on it I feel sad or depressed I don't need a stink and study Amen but the studies support it. Ben Jacobs a DA a D.J. who has more than 5000 followers on Twitter he decided to go on hiatus from the platform and has found the the break really beneficial Here's what he said Twitter did indeed make me feel anxious from time to time as it slowly dawned on me I was concerning myself with the feeling of thousands of strangers I followed why they didn't necessarily know who I was since my Twitter hiatus I have had a clear head with plenty of time to devote to other thing praise the lord that's amazing this awakening starting to happen by the way with people who are thinking they're seeing the negative results in their own lives even celebrities are taking action. What ever heard of Simon coul he's been in the news lately if you go on B.B.C. news you can find this report this was just this month here's what he says here's the title Simon cowl ditches foam for 10 months and counting time in cow has revealed Here's the article that he hasn't used his mobile phone for 10 months saying the change was so good or what his mental health the media mogul told The Mail on Sunday he became irritated with how often he was using his phone the 58 year old that he has become way more focused and look at this aware of the people around me giving up is the buys but he said without his phone was a still strange he said being without his phone was a strange experience but has absolutely made me. Happier I literally have not been on my phone for 10 months he says I literally have not been on my phone for 10 months 10 months Simon coul who who is a media mogul worth hundreds of millions of dollars he's a celebrity and a T.V. and record producer if he can live without his smartphone then I probably can you probably can is that the choice you need to make Simon Callow is making the choice maybe God will impress you do you think maybe he'll just have you take a digital detox for a while right come off of it for just a while still so media is sabotaging real life communication on a Krista Friday morning last October Sharon leaning gauge the text messages with her daughter who was in college they chatted back and forth mom asking how are things going daughter answered with positive statements followed by emoticons showing mild big smiles and big heart happiness later that night her daughter attempted suicide what's going on in the days that followed it came to light that she had been holed up in her dorm room crying and showing signs of depression a completely different reality than the one that she was conveying in the text. And on her Facebook and her tweet you see as human beings our only real method of connecting is to look into someone's eyes because then when they say I'm fine we can see it in the context the weight I'm fine I'm fine I'm good everything's great I'm fine. They mean entirely 2 different things yes or no Absolutely because we're listening to the intonation we're watching the facial expression we're looking at the countenance we're looking at the body language and we have none of that in this lower form of communication in fact studies show that only 7 percent of communication is based on the written or verbal world word and I was being 93 percent of communication is based on non-verbal body language and this is what we're missing out on this is why we're missing the cues when my I didn't even know my son was was suicidal I didn't know what do you mean I didn't even know my son was on drugs because when was the last time you looked at it is-I right there's a devil behind this my friend. You know social media I don't I don't want to say it's evil because it's not it can be used for amazing good but friends if we're not careful it could make Jesus boy very far and very distant as we're distracted with the noise in the twinkling shiny sparkly things of the world in my right. So unfortunately this is where things start to get a little dicey the questions we really need to ask ourselves are is the focus now on communication want to see Burson quality or is it on Super this geology versus authenticity so what's happened is we have a lot more communication we have a lot more want to of of interactions so we think we have we've actually come to believe though that this huge volume of superficial connections that we have and social media is that this is all there is in life socially now we as digital immigrants we know better right. But the digital natives from from generation the and younger this is always been their life so this is social life no friends there's far more OK guys we're going to go over here and we're going to go to have a wonderful lunch at Auntie's house and I want to go what your aunts your cousin every is going to be there you love hanging out with them on you want to go what because they feel very uncomfortable now in those social gatherings because they're so so is right here and they don't have the skills anymore how and think about it it's occurred to me how is it that we are to witness to the world to open the Word of God with them and to have Bible studies with people and lead them to the photo of the cross to their savior where salvation is found how are we going to have a face to face Bible study if I can't even say hi to you face to face it's not going to be just left of the old people we need to have a generation of young people who see it and say I'm going to take control of this and no longer let it control me and they can take their cue from us some of the older people because of this controlling me what chance that they have they're only going to model what they see in their home right so it falls on me and if I'm going to look in the mirror I want to make changes in me right because change starts with me not with them so unfortunately we're left with this idea that if this is what social life is now it leads a huge gaping hole No wonder so many feel lonely No wonder so many make some horrible decisions and take their own lives. Because here think of this if that person is attacking me on social media and that happened it's called cyber bullying you've heard it then all over the news for the last 2 years when that one start to latch on to me that all the other little social Purana come along and they all latch on me and they start to destroy me right well what happened is because as a digital native that has is my my paradigm that's what I believe this is the only thoughtful thing I have access to know the line between the virtual and the real becomes blurred and now they can even see that mom of me Dallas and grandma is mean and I have value in Jesus Christ and Jesus loves me it's this whole the whole world that the world to them the whole world hates me my eyes will not be livin and that's how it happened so they are left feeling that and depressed and even worse suicidal so what we're all really craving is. A legitimate healthy even sometimes awkward communion with. This is how we reinforce someone value in our families in our communities in our churches and in the world we need to come together we need to press to get there we're told because here is where we can find strength you'll never find it. So some can key indicators to be aware of. If you suspect that media social media chipping away at your emotional wellness you're not alone psychologist psychiatrist and other health care professionals have seen a drastic uptick in patients who feel that they're being adversely affected by their online social activities and here's what they say here's an indicator if you have low or decrease the 15 during or after using social media you're going to have to really evaluate things or ask your significant other or someone you trust to give you the true answer negatively comparing yourself to others via their social media content repetitively focusing on your own shortcomings or distress while viewing others social media feed that's a big one decrease in ability to concentrate frequently feeling in the eyes of others while engaging also media using those the media as your prime leisure activity feeling disconnected from friends and family or not interacting with them in person as often as you normally would so those are some key indicators to be aware of. Oh we have we have a few more increased or unusual social anxiety when interacting with people online that'll actually even start feeling a need to share everything you're doing offline on social media experiencing the negative emotional experience. Fear of Missing Out during or after viewing others online activities consciously consistently using social media as a distraction to avoid or suppress unpleasant emotions irregular or disordered sleeping pattern increase that and or stress during or after using social media so we need to really be honest with ourselves and evaluate am I experiencing anything I went through those past I think they're videotaping that I know they're online perhaps you can review it again if they're not I'll find out and let you know tomorrow get on our mailing list and we will let you know when the new series the full series is ready we're we're we're building it right now in fact it's becoming too long so we're like well how do we sort of thing but we can have these 2 where you can look at those but beyond this here isn't serious warning signs that the media is impacting you in ways that you need to change do you feel your social media use has become compulsive that you have to use it that's a warning sign a serious warning sign do you find it difficult to not engage in social media even when you don't really want to have you ever seen that in your life you know I don't want people to raise hands right now because this is between you and your spouse are you in the Lord right now say I'm having this problem I don't even want to check it but I feel like I have to that's a problem called Addiction by the way do you find your use or desire to use those so media rapidly growing. Do you become angry irritated negatively emotional or physically affected when you cut back or aren't engaging in social media platform I know people when if they'd cannot check their social media off tell you what I can i haven't done a scientific study but I'll tell you what on long flights when people cannot check in I see people irritability does go on like this like that and the 1st thing we do as soon as we land all the phones go on all years thinking abundantly but you don't believe it in a result. In US an overexaggeration that you understand my point do you often find yourself preoccupied with social media how you're going to use it or what's going on in the different social media platforms that you use if any of these resonate with you a re-evaluation of your social media in order and I love you enough to tell you that and while any formal diagnosis of addiction should be made by a professional there are immediate and positive ways and that's that we can take to change our habits Oh by the way here's a last one here are you neglecting other aspects of your life or have your on offline relationships with your family and friends been negatively affected by your social media my I see it in my own family my extended family there's my little nephew and niece and they're going to my to my older my niece they're my 2nd one and their and their mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy Hey and we'll call her name in the she got what your kids are calling you tune them out when the virtual world takes over the real world you got a problem so what can we do about it well 1st of all the 1st step is recognizing I probably have a problem. OK you know that if someone struggling with alcohol the 1st thing they do is to admit that they're struggling with alcohol right that's right that's the 1st step to say I am struggling Hi I'm Christian and I'm an alcoholic that's what they have everybody say when they get up to speak at a now by the way I'm a Christian and if I was an alcoholic before Christ can totally deliver me so I would never use the phrase Hi I'm Christian I'm an alcoholic Hi my name's Christian I used to be an alcoholic but Christ has delivered me right Hi I'm Christian I used to be a social media addict if God has delivered you you can say that maybe you have to say hi and don't go and I am an addict admit it and then we move forward into recovery so we got to recognize that excessive social media use is undermining our health and our and our mental wellbeing reach out line get offline and reach out substitute your social media time with face to face activities with family and friends who support and care about you that makes sense it's a really fun and easy way to get offline and don't take your phone with you leave it somewhere leave in the car turn it off you can hear it re just go reach out offline put down your phone and other devices when you are with others consider expanding your personal your excuse me consider expanding your in person social circle to include people with similar interests to not your mind tune up your body don't walk with a with a neighbor you haven't seen in 15 years except for you think you know everything about them because that's what they post on Facebook once you go and talk infants and time with them and find out what's really going on in their life Right exactly. To know if your mind in your body get moving towards something better when you feel a need to hit those immediate all sudden like I want to know distract yourself with something better because there's a lot more that's better find a new healthy hobby learn a new skill or language how about getting some weight I just heard people. Why are we allowing ourselves to be deterred even when we're in our room and we're trying to go to sleep you know that it's one of the. Laws of health to get good sleep you can eat as great as you want you can drink the most pure water in the world you can you could be in the sunshine and you could be exercising and you can have all 7 of the 8 Laws of hell and you could have poor sleep habits and you could be sick really so but I don't you know when I 1st got here on Monday morning when I started to speak to you in the afternoon I was glad. Because I my plane didn't get I didn't get here until 4 am and then I had to try to get complete I had 3 brain cells to try to communicate something to you right and so I've been working on my sleep the problem is when you get behind it takes a while to catch back up guess what on the energizer bunny again praise the Lord. Fresh fruits and vegetables really help with that by the way chronic So there's a healthy former chronic social media use. Chronic social media use wreaks havoc on the normal creeping pattern which is crucial for good mental health and of course good physical health lead your phone out of your bedroom but I use that you know as my alarm clock Yeah let's go back to the analog alarm clock let's just let's just put that little thing there we used to work you know hundreds of years right. I don't know how did they exist 6000 years previous to our smartphones How were they able to wake up you know what I'm saying before they used to wake up when the sun came up and went to bed when the sun went down and we introduced artificial light and now we have all these things that keep us awake and we try to go to sleep and some people take sleep you know what's the best sleep eat you have is go to bed at a good time and get out and then. Leave your phone out of the bedroom while it may be tempting to spend hours scrolling through social media right before you fall asleep it's recommended that you charge your phone outside of your bedroom overnight even better yet turn it off. But what if someone does get a hold of me OK Turn off all the notification I'm on the road full time now so the only ways that we can get a hold of a phone call turn everything off that I possibly can except for the phone because I don't want all the notification The problem is you can't just turn everything off except a bone but you can get kind of close so this is like sleep hygiene get that stuff out and allow wonderful sleep back in your life unplugged and erase takes some time away from the Internet as a whole to remove the temptation of logging onto your favorite social media platform This makes it a little more difficult because it's another step and turning off all those notifications and turning off all the messages and all the calendars and all that kind of got to turn that the pop them time. You know when my wife and I were privileged to go on a cruise Mike My parents paid for the family to go on to a cruise ship that was a number of years ago and it was so awesome because there were no internet wall you could pay for and it was very or and I was going to pay for I'm on vacation man and it was a blessing to sit out in the warm weather in the sun and drink cool water and splash in the in the water we went north clinging kinds of stuff I was like Man this is where at that not this all the time. That firm boundaries you must engage on social media if you must engage on social media lay down clear limits in advance for how many times a day and for how long you will stand on line and tomorrow we're going to give you a handout if we can get it printed as I'm sure we can will give you a handout that will give you some of these resources there are resources and there are now new features in your phone if you have a I.O.'s device that you can actually it'll actually track and then lock you out of certain things for certain while you set the parameters but even the tech companies are starting to come around to yeah we really addicted a lot of people we got to start helping diety again and there are apps and there are different things that you can use to take control of your online life again. So here I would Can I would encourage you to take the log out challenge just try this for one week in text 3 for one week and then an entirely text free weekend shut off from the Internet and tech means turn off everything that you can on your phone or it off if you go camping Come on you're not going to have cell signal what do people do they get a hold of you one day. Right so let's try one weekend no tech in fact by the way this would be a perfect place because Jesus wants to talk to it like never before this would be a great place to turn off our tech a man or about him and so no smartphone no tablet no Facebook no computer I could do that you're addicted evaluate yourself over the course of the weekend and make a mental note though every time you find yourself fishing or that nonexistent phone in your pocket as you feel those phantom buzzes. Under You have my phone just rang and I don't have my pocket your brains going you really need to think why because I'm hooked on it and I need it the you where how many times you're like missing it that should be like a red flag of like you gotta get a hold of the thing right be aware and remember the times when you start developing in the image to go surfing or update your quit or quitter I've been invited call quitter. Distract yourself with productive activities in closing I'm going to read if I can get through it all because I've got 4 minutes and 8 seconds this is interesting this is an article entitled What I gained by losing my smartphone in the Huffington Post a journalist wrote about her experience after losing her smartphone and having to use her old flip phone her 2003 flip phone here's some of the insights she gained as you publish an article and it's a good article So you've figured out how do you increase a better sense of direction without that trusty tour guide otherwise known as Google Maps I had to get my bearings the old fashioned way after a couple of weeks I realized I had memorized more Street rule. And could even read a map that the lost art science seemed to confirm in my hip a campus was getting a cross that I'll work out in memory and spatial orientation. It's the difference between being soon fed and learning how to hold the fort and then living the the living breathing alternative to theory deal I did get lost a lot did what my smartphone had let me avoid I asked people for directions might be surprised to hear that people give way better directions in theory particularly if you're more about Landmark learning to type silent idle time when I was playing candy crush my brain was hard at work organizing in the now when I'm bored my brain is actually hard at work preparing me for my next path neuro scientists laud the power of idle brain time to help organize and process information boredom can encourage daydreaming and lead to creative thinking in those spare 5 minutes in lala land instead of trying to beat your high score you could possibly it could possibly lead you to your your Reka moment a filter for my own babbling. This is true sex can be super convenient and useful but sometimes you're kind of like blah blah blah plenty of my daily text we both were weren't that important I find texting on account your phone rather slow and annoying process that I'm only willing to complete when the topic is urgent illyria's or meaningful was pure lazy and sheer laziness to trim the fat out of my day to day S.M.S. ing was instead of live streaming my every thought I'd wait for the faith communication. All passion face time staring at screens constantly takes you away from people and gives you a passive outlet where you don't have to interact with the world like television the light draws you in and numbs your senses according to Gary Cooper that's or at Lancaster University in the United Kingdom without a smartphone to distract me I snapped out of that digital hypnosis and started looking people in the eyes of the Lord right this is because she lost her phone to write filthy kind of steward beware all that Instagram it can actually hurt your real life relationship smartphone make picture taking super easy convenient but they also take you out of the moment an excuse not to check the email or access the email often fuels our sense of urgency we check our emails compulsively that me 7 percent of emails sent to information workers were looked at within 60 seconds according to a study at the University of California Irvine That's a lot of people on a lot of mental hamster wheel taking too much need taking a much needed Yes from I did a mailbox with seriously relaxing and she said she had a better chance at love a full night's sleep an old fashioned planner she started to use instead of all the 10 productively the absolute is trying to juggle and in conclusion she says of course you don't need to lose your $300.00 investment that the phone to apply what I've learned about living without a smartphone just keep in mind your own. You own your smartphone and your smartphone doesn't own you here's a final thought my friend we just have to remember that the Internet is a me it's not the end it exists to facilitate life not to becoming a man but this a way tuck it away in your mind and I pray that God will lead you in better decision making Let's have a quick prayer gracious Heavenly Father Lord we ask that you would guide only to us as we make decisions on how to navigate the digital life help us to use if your honor and glory and Father I pray you would help the never be a distraction again from you pray to Jesus in. A man this media was brought to you by audiotapes a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio version or if you would like to listen to more service leave a Visit W W W dot audio Verse dot org.


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