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Lost & Found

Kezia Chisholm


Kezia Chisholm

Growing up in an unconventional environment, Kezia Chisholm turned to many vices for comfort. For several years, she worked with a top Construction Management company, until God redirected her plans. Currently serving as an Associate Speaker with Coming Out Ministries, she appreciates every opportunity to travel and share how wonderful God is. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, working out and building her home decor business, ke’mades.


  • April 13, 2019
    4:30 PM
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My heavenly Father I just thank you so much for another opportunity to speak I thank you for the voice that you have given me I pray at this moment that any attacks of the devil or that you may bind them in the name of Jesus that you may speak to all of our minds in a manner that we are able to understand that by or Greece when you leave this place floor that we will know that we truly have had an encounter with you by your presence be with in this place and Jesus fam I do pray Amen. So here we have the function wary. Which is based upon Exodus 25 to Exodus 40. It was God's command to Moses to build a tabernacle for God to dwell among says people in the wilderness it was to be essential in the relationship between God and Israel and the primary focus of their wilderness experience the verses are very repetitive in describing in detail the materials and the construction of the tabernacle one of the reasons why I wanted to use the sanctuary to help us understand how we can overcome certain behavioral activities because I'm coming from a construction background So me personally I enjoy seeing things coming from nothing to something and to see how God our own savior has specifically designed a structure that he has made it clear that this is how we're able to separate than from the center. Through symbols it shows us how God solves the sin problem its overall design and services show the nation of freed slaves of free slaves a 3 dimensional panorama of the plan of salvation so another thing too was my background X. cool we used to have to make lots of models so I figured you know what also helped us to see a visually what God meant when he was talking about the sanctuary. We are unable to understand how God can separate sin from the center at it is done in the sanctuary services when Christ has finally separated sin from us we will eventually be able to join our Savior in heaven and live with him where there will be no more thin. And of course that's our end goal to be pure before God. So when it comes to the sanctuary message I know there are lots of ways to present that there's different symbols different ways to look at it so this is just one way to look at it regarding our walk with God. So here like in the picture we have our gate for this is the opening part and then we have our altar of burnt offering and then our labor and then we go to our holy place and then to our most holy place. And then surround that area as the wilderness like the outside of the courtyard. So this is just kind of like a bird's eye view of what I just mentioned So at the bottom that's the gate and then the altar of offerings and then the labor the most holy place where you have 3 furniture pieces and then you have the most holy place with the Ark of the covenant with additional pieces inside of it and then a little squiggly line surrounded that that is the wilderness so this is just a bird's eye view of the sanctuary. So regarding the encampment the wilderness outside the courtyard area so now we're going to be talking about the surrounding So not necessarily this part but just surrounding. But those that in camp before the east before the tabernacle toward the east even before the tabernacle of the congregation eastward shall be Moses and Aaron and his sons keeping the charge of the sanctuary for the charge of the children of Israel and the stranger that come with 9 shall be put to death so we're going to focus right now on what it says that but those that can't before the tabernacle toward the east so and then also shall be Moses and Aaron and his sons and these strangers that come with night I shall be put to death. So when it mentions the before part so that's before meaning like the surrounding area so before we insert a little. Of so before the surrounding before the actual sanctuary it mentions before so we're talking about now the surrounding areas and then it shall be shall be Moses Aaron and his son so we know that those were the Israelites those were the believers and then also the strangers that come nigh the non Israelites the nonbelievers. When it comes to this topic we know that it's not necessarily just a nonbeliever struggle but in totality it's a struggle that some of us have even within the faith so when it comes to sex premarital as well as adultery premarital sex because these are one of the things I realize growing up I did not know and some that is because I did not grow up in a Christian household so premarital sex that's occurring or existing before marriage and adultery is voluntarily sexual intercourse before a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse if you don't know which one to check to which one you are you could always think about your taxes because one thing I always found interest. If even people who are engaged like well are almost married so we could almost do it but it's like when you're doing your taxes it's like single or you're married so it's either or so that always helps out if you're trying to figure out and mind premarital sex when it comes to pornography printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity masturbation is a stimulate one's own genitals 1st sexual pleasure this is a happy life. And. A love for the fable that the devil device of course the W. so cunning he tells us like this is amazing this is something great when Jesus was in get some many say in was trying to tempt Jesus and desired ages white mentions placing Jesus upon a high a mountain say in cause the kingdoms of the world in all their glory to pass in panoramic view before him the sunlight lay on Temple cities marble palaces far tile fields and fruit laden vineyards the traces of evil were hit in the eyes of Jesus so lately greeted by gloom and desolation now gazed upon a scene of unsurpassed loveliness and prosperity then the tempters voice was heard all this power will I give be and the glory of them for that is delivered on to me and home so ever I will I give it if there for it will worship me and shall be vine so saying it was a saying that I could give you all of this in the sense of what the sexuality all that get the pleasures right now but clearly he has been hiding from us the evils of it so he's telling us that we could have it all now. The traces of evil that stay in didn't tell us about so the hidden evils of sex of course premarital adultery. And of course like I mention the taxes because of course when you're having sex within marriage that is the right timing but any time outside of that that's where there's an issue. Potentially too many partners so there's a comparison outside of future spouses. Unwanted pregnancies as he dies and as to these prior to me coming to Christ I actually used to practice like The Lord just make sure I don't get pregnant or have any sci's because in my head I was just like well I looked at God as a genie so I never saw him as a pure holy God but more so of someone who could just grant me my wish secrecies in lies emotional distress where condoms think safe sex so growing up I was always told where you could just wear a condom but what people have failed to realize that yes you could wear a condom but the issue is it doesn't protect you from the emotional distress it does not protect you from when you're feeling lonely when you're feeling empty when you're feeling worthless like the condom does not protect you from the mental issues that you have after committing that not emotionally honest to yourself or others and sexual bondage soul ties social bonds and soul ties that is a hard thing to break from because that takes time and specially having to free yourself from that person and realize that I'm not going to go back to that person because there's always that bondage to that person. Hidden evils of pornography and masterbation low productivity due to spending too many hours watching porn erectile disfunction changes our brain power pattern so this is one thing I found to be so amazing because I didn't think that pornography had the ability to change my mind it wasn't like you know when when someone is higher when they're drunk you could kind of tell them OK so maybe a little off a little funny but when it comes a point like pornography you can't you can't say you can't tell when somebody just watch porn but unfortunately what's going on in your brain you can't see it so here's our brain but say you know everything's good you never touched porn. But here's your brain on porn so you can see like the mask like the bring surface it's definitely different from what's on the further right side but of course this all varies when it comes to be years of usage as well as your lifestyle habits. The hidden evils of pornography as we continue into this is linked to sex trafficking so I knew it was linked to sex trafficking However I didn't care I knew that people were possibly being sex slaves I knew that possibility or being raped and all that I didn't care because I was like well grants me my immediate gratified gratification that I wanted to right now. It's artificial unrealistic expectations of partner so sometimes what happens with pornography is that you start placing these expectations on your partner saying OK what I saw in pornography My spouse is going to perform as a porn star and failing to realize like the 2 different things and you're putting these expectations that are not really good for the party because not creates an unhealthy relationship for your partner. Another thing to expression if you're using toys and it's not really how the keen actually works when I mention key I'm regarding the males key you understand the key. But you know we have the key and the whole Right OK Unfortunately what happens sometimes with this behavior we start bringing in these certain toys and these toys necessarily isn't naturally how God created the male to function so when we start becoming so dependent upon this we're failing to realize that that's not God's design like that's not how the key naturally works. The evils of masturbation there's false intimacy it kills love itself it's seeking has our own pleasure if the spouse doesn't get it right you're impatient not willing to wait on your spouse to fulfill their responsibilities and serving less your spouse explore you there's no rush. You're having sex with yourself so it's not a part of God's plan for sex love and belong so like I had mentioned earlier when you're having sex with yourself master. Bedding your phone to realize that God allows us in the time of course when he calls us to marriage or if you are married that it's your spouse's responsibility to learn so when you're just taking your time out to do your own thing you're failing to realize you're also breaking that relationship that you're supposed to be building with your person that they're supposed to be learning of you but sometimes become so impatient failing to realize that just wait let the person explore you let that be a fun thing to do. Another thing it's a worship of self masturbation is a master of there's a master and the soul is the slave it's a fast replacement for not feeling loved or significant realize like any time I was feeling some sort of way any time I didn't feel loved if I was like angry or whatever it may have been I want to that as a form of replacement to just medicate the pain I was feeling of some sources of anyone's curious and God's views on sexuality. Before an occasion and then cleanliness let it not be once named among you. Flee fornication when it came to fornication I didn't even know what the word fornication meant I didn't know that it meant premarital sex some pretty sure well maybe not even if I knew that before I think us that would have done it but you know God saves. Also youthful lust Valis shall not commit adultery a host will ever look at on a woman to lust after her have committed adultery with her already in his heart how sex pornography masturbation affects our walk with God unable to fully fulfill your God given assignments were too busy and other things not ordained by God Not content with God's original plan so the marriage of one husband and one wife that's one thing I also had to wrestle with God with because the way I had learned sex initially years prior was somewhere in the orgy style and with females so for me it was now realizing that when it came to marriage and sucks that God or deigns it between one man and one woman so that was one thing I had to break away from and realize that what I was believing all the years before it was a mirage because I was believing that if sex didn't happen with a female or an orgy style like a threesome that it was not going to be satisfying and I was failing to realize that that was just a mirage I was believing and I had to break that. Unable to fully honor your mind body and soul which is a gift from God It weakens your meditation failing to see God as the comforter healer deliver and every other person that he is because of course we're going to pornography masturbation. As a way to deal with our pain and failing to realize when we go to that as our comforter as our healer that is not who could really comfort us it's really about comforter himself. Failing to for have an intimate relationship and not fully surrender or vulnerable with God lack of spiritual growth lack of identity because you need bodies to give you values so before this is like a sub for I came to Christ I was under the impression that the more bodies you had the better so I had I was thinking that you know how kind of like in the world when we say if you want to become a doctor you need to do certain years and then when you do certain years you do certain hours and turn hours and the ultimate become a doctor so I was on the impression to be a great sex person yes a lot of bodies and of course that was just a lie that you know it's not a good thing at all. Not pure thoughts expression with masturbation fantasizing whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are pure think on these things flippin for 8 so I know some people they feel like oh nothing's wrong with masturbation but the issue is what do you think about when you're masturbating because I mean sometimes you can get around the thing about the roses but how long can you think about roses until you want things to go even further from massive into then going to the next part it's been having multiple partners so you can masturbate all that but at the same time it's like what are you truly thinking about and at the same time can you actually do that in the presence of God So that was something I had to realize because my game plan was well if I'm going to stop having sex at least before I get married I was like in my waiting period I could say or write a lot of used to have pornography masturbation while I wait before going to realize that that's not how it is if you're talking about I want to godly marriage. It weakens our witness and turn only filled with guilt and science battling demons when I was in Cuba and that's one of my journey began it just so happen to be that God allowed it that to people like few days before I was leaving 2 different people came to me and said that they were demon possessed and in my head I was just like you know there are other people on this trip why are you coming to me but at the same time I knew that the person one of the ladies she had X. for prayer if I said OK. I had prayed with her and in my head I was just like hung my going to try to pray for this person when I know I enjoy these demons like I love these demons so it was a battle for months even pray with her because quietly I'm like I know demons have the ability to interchange with one another and that's the same thing affect all the sex partners you have there is like the interchange of spirits going on and that's why it's so important to really take time out to break free from those soul ties. Addicted physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance and on able to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects I generally did not think I was addicted but I was realizing that someone had said if you're not addicted then you could stop but I was realizing I had quit so many times and I was just like like you know you're really addicted like you're saying OK I'm going to stop today but then you're like all right no I'm going to talk tomorrow but then I just keep I just kept going and going all saying as a decision make a decision to change admit you have an issue. Admit that you are powerless admit that your life has become unmanageable admit that you love horn masturbation and or sex more than God I really don't understand myself for I want to do what is right but I don't do it instead I DO WHAT I HATE Romans 715 this is the New Living Translation I thought this was such a powerful way to say because I like you know what's right but you have such a struggle to do what's what you know what's you know what's right which is to do what's wrong because you love what's wrong so much more than you love the right thing so it's such a battle. Admit that you go to it for comfort and healing rather than to the ultimate comforter and healer take ownership of your issue. And be not conform to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that he may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God and be not conform to this world. For all that is in this world the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life is not of the Father but is the but is of the world. Things that are going on in the courtyard in the world so we're still like this our part right so we have the pornography the masturbation the premarital sex the adultery. And be not conform to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable perfect will of God So we see in order to have some sort of transformation there has to be a renewal of the mind the mind that got you in your mess is not the same mind that will free you from your mess the highway or God is in the sanctuary so when we come to a place of admitting what I actually do have an issue but for myself it took me several months to come to that realization. You begin this journey. So we have here the gate and then the veil. So the 1st thing the person sees when it comes to like the sanctuary services they'll see the veil. Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul bolts shore and steadfast and which interest into that within the veil. So we have hope as well as the veil. For the grace of God that bring a salvation have to appear to all men teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts we should live soberly righteously and godly in this present world looking for that blasted hope and the Glorious Appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ. Looking for that blessed and hope and the Glorious Appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ so we're seeing that the veil represents hope so once we come to a place of acknowledging that we do have an issue that there is hope so the 1st thing when we admit we had been reminded that there is hope that we have the hope of. Looking for that blessed and Glorious Appearing of that great God and our Savior Jesus Christ. And then we have our gate. So the gate of the core is the only way and just as what crisis is the only way to heaven we begin our journey at the only entry way so one thing like in construction any time we had meetings we were always mindful of where the exits one thing I realize of the century there's no other exit there's just one way which is through Christ. As we've come to realize that only a higher power can restore my brokenness Jesus said on some me on to him I am the Way the Truth and the life no man cometh on to the Father but by me I realize that the only way to restoration is through Jesus Christ is the only way in which sin can be separated from a sinner so we've acknowledged that we have an issue and are ready to go through the door which is Jesus because we have this blessed hope of his 2nd glorious appearing Select was mentioned in Titus 213 and will commit to the process of healing Matthew 58 tells us that Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God So we've had the veil and we've had the gate and then now in this area we have the courtyard. Which is the 1st furniture we see as the altar of burnt offerings. Which is based upon Exodus 271 through 8 so the spotless Lamb is brought by the Center which is slain and the blood is then caught in a bowl Likewise we surrender our issues amongst other traumas and pains as we bring it before God. When I initially began this journey I thought my issue was just the pornography the masturbation but I was failing to realize the reason why I was doing it was because there were other traumas and issues I had to address so through that I was seeing that there was a connection when I had gone to do I see one of the speakers he had mentioned when his parents divorced because I was coming from a divorced home he had mentioned that when his parents divorced he became angry and through him being so angry he went to different outlets so as he was speaking I was then seen that way Kuzio like that that's what's happening to you but I fail to acknowledge that for about 1415 years I was operating in anger still suppressing it rather than really addressing the issues I've had. Stopped having sex with yourself and there is a fine married if we confess our sins which is our part we leave it there he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and that is God's part which is the beauty of it because sometimes it comes to a point where we're able to forgive our stale forgive ourselves and realizing that God has forgiven us why are we not forgiven our own selves. But of course this journey was rough So like I mentioned we're in the 1st the altar of burnt offerings and having to come to a point of surrendering on to God this is really me when I 1st began the journey because it was just. One of my supposed to do. But I was realizing that to become as little children may God my entire dependence. And then through that I realized I had to have accountability what trusted. Family and friends at special if they've overcome similar battles and if need be Christian counselor therapist I stress Christian because sometimes we'll go to someone who's not a Christian therapist failing to realize that if we're unloading we're on packing all these issues and concerns this person is not able to bring us back to Christ so before. But like one of my teenage years sometimes I would I had to go for counseling because my teachers knew like I was I have anger issues but I didn't really bring back the crisis just like unpacking them like I what now but when when I've been gone to like to Christian counselors I've been noticing will pack but there is that beauty of being brought back to my savior so that's the beauty of going to a Christian counsellor in the therapist filter on all devices this took me a couple of months to do because in my head I was like I could stop I need a filter but I kept I kept going back to it so I use covenant eyes it's $149.79 annually so it literally filters your phone my friend says it's like a child lock on like whatever it helps me from not going into pornography we also have a promo code was coming out ministry so you could X. myself or Mike for it it covers all your devices you have entire screen accountabilities like on my phone I have that a trusted friend gets a recluse report so one of my friends she gets my reports and unfortunately sometimes sin can cost me money so that was my issue I was I don't want to pay for this because I'm like why would I do that I'll take you there you've been in bondage for like 14 plus years you need help like you cannot stay using the same thing and think that you're going to get a victory over this. So we've discussed the the outer part the porn and then we're going to begin we've acknowledged OK I have an issue we have the author burnt offerings where we're still running that on to God and now we have the labor. Our law is so large washbasin filled with water made of brass and the priests wash their hands and feet before entering the sanctuary so we're in the courtyard sterile and we have the altar burnt offerings and then we have the laver but we could also see that in the altar of burnt offering because when the sinner used to come there was that the shutting of blood that would go on with the spotless Lamb and in the laver we also have the water and where else can we see blood and water bowl one of the soldiers with a spear appears his which is Jesus side and forthwith came there out blood and water. So as to cross receiving blood and water even within the courtyard area so as he's begin this journey we're now seeing like Jesus himself. So the blood the life which is the auto sacrifice and the water the spirit the labor of. When we were so focused on the immediate pleasures we fail to see the consequences so the consequences of isolation being strange meant the guilt the shame the defilement the bondage internally in the slave you know bondage wise you can have your enslaved to it your mind is consumed with that and then the slavery part you're constantly going back to this thing and then the wrath of God and this is the result of the fall but Jesus is work with the isolation and strange meant we have the Rincon silly ation we have the guilt and shame that we have done but he has come to to justify us the defilement we have done he has come to cleanse us the bondage and the slavery has come to give us salvation and the wrath of God there is that procreation which is the sacrifice and ultimately we see that Calvary is complete even within the courtyard area the beauty of it is seeing that he has endured all that is possible for us to bear his victory is ours so you know how like Jesus he's gone through certain things so it's beautiful to see that as we even begin to process as we see the 2nd coming of Jesus that we're reminded that his victory on the cross is also our victory as we begin this journey so we've had the veil we have the gate the outer burnt offerings the labor and now after we've had the blood and water and seeing the cross Jesus we're then reminded of the veil and the veil is what. Was 2nd coming of Jesus. And then we have the holy place of the holy place is this area here. So we have the holy place. So in the holy place we would have the 12 loaves of bread we would then have the 7 branch candlesticks and then we have the altar of incense. So the 12 loaves of bread I am the living bread which came down from heaven if any man eat of this bread he shall live forever and the bread that I will give is my flesh which I will give for the life of the world. So there are 12 breads I figured you know what for practical tips as were journeying through the sanctuary there are some practical tips we can apply so the 12 loaves of bread that we could consume daily just the same way with Jesus is telling us that he is the bread spiritually physically there is some bread that we should also be consuming So number one it is written in men shall not live by bread alone but by every word that precede it out of the mouth of God Matthew 44 so we need to eat his word there's different ways to consume his word studying His Word and number 2. Memorizing scripture. Would have that I word have I hid in the mind heart that I might not sin against these so there is value in memorizing scripture because there is moments where I am tempted to go back but then God always reminds me of a particular scriptures where I'm just like Lord Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus flip into 5 so that constant battle in on the OK The the victory the battle is begins in the mind before you go back to actually committing air number 3 I am affirmations Bible based So one of my favorite ones is that I am chosen and being that I've come from having moments where I felt abandoned I realize the value of realizing that God has chosen me specifically in a fusions one for he tells us he have chosen us in him before the foundation of the world so that the Beautiful in knowing that before my parents were even born that Christ has already chosen me before the foundations of the world. Let his thoughts define you your identity comes from him. Build your identity instead on who cries have made you to be which is I got this from Hobbes inhabits one of my books I've been reading Number 4 find where God is calling you I have finished the work which gave us need to do so we get home from our meaningless frustrating jobs and we turn supported because it gives us a sense of control and importance number 5 set goals for yourself. What happened here he is well pleased when they make the highest demands upon him that they may glorify his name they may expect a large things if they have faith in His promises so one of the things as I've been on this journey is realizing that I have to have goals in order to number one not go back to my old ways because another thing too growing up I was very suicidal I remember at one time when I went on there were several times I had tried to kill myself I didn't really tell people about that but in order for me to not go back to my old life so I have to be progressive like every like practically every day I do have a little goals for myself but expression every year I just want to make sure that by God's grace I am growing and I forgot what book it was I know why she mentions how continual improvement so there's that continual improvement that has to go on with our lives. Number 6 learn his views on sex my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge read some of the books I've been reading to help me understand like what's really been going on in the invisible bond by Barbara Wilson wonderful book because because of the multiple partners I've had in the past there were so many soul ties that I had to break out so literally writing down every person that I could remember and praying over each name praying that God cleansing from each person addict it's a period of another great book youth are you preparing for your divorce being that I am coming from a divorce home I was as I was reading this book I was seeing that because I'm coming from a divorced home I now have a greater chance of getting a divorce one in the future so it was kind of unfortunate because in my head I'm like I don't I don't you think you know come from a divorce home but realizing that unfortunately these tendencies and habits were already created so now I'm at a place from just breaking those all down hobbies and habits Adventists Home Adventures home really showed me how what I was doing right now it was definitely not going to be pleasing for what I desired in the future which is a godly home things you can watch journey interrupted coming out ministries we do have a documentary on 5 different testimonies of a few of us who have come out the lifestyle heart of man Netflix and Apple it's a great movie as well such where some of you this one is about 2 hours long but you could find this one on You Tube conkers series this is like a D.V.D. series I know you have to buy the D.V.D. online though. Redefined T.V. on You Tube They have some great topics regarding my lust and sex so these are just some things that you could start off with. Number 7 Know your family tendencies the Christian is not to be enslaved by any hereditary or cultivated habits or tendencies so throughout these past few years I've been like watching my parents I don't necessarily accept anything but I've been watching that I've been noticing I'm like this makes sense why I'm struggling with this so just being aware of where I'm coming from and realizing that because I did not address their issues I'm at a place now where I'm fighting the battle even much more. Number 8 Know your body let's say in should get an advantage of us for we are not ignorant of his devices no you're arousals know your triggers hungry your angry lonely tired sad spells out salt So anytime you're in one of those modes always be mindful of like what's gong on another one is your lady friend so I realize for myself any time I had my relapses I was always going back like a week before my cycles sires realized a week before my cycle that's when I tend to be extra aroused so now I was beginning to see that I have to kind of light clock on like what was going on or in order to prevent me from falling. Number 9 learn how to manage stress plan accordingly stop being a people pleaser it's OK to say no Florida taught me that because I was living in Florida for 2 years and Florida they were there like they're very chill I'm coming from Brooklyn New York I'm just like yo yo move real slow but I was just like you feel like no like simplify relax like you don't have to do too much it's OK become mindful of what she eat number 10 we do the consumption of spicy food that's one thing I had to do listen to LEMON The message on diet and sexuality I know that message is going on right now but audio verse whenever that comes out number 11 become mindful of the music you listen to forgive me for this issue that's going to come up when the Evil Spirit was upon Saul David took a harp and played so Saul was refreshed and all was well and the evil spirit departed from him one of the things I like growing up. I would listen to like a lot of soca music so the soca music tend to be a little bit on the central side and I was like This is one of the issues that I have kind of stop with the social music and then also going to sleep as I began the journey I was realizing that that's how I went to sleep so for me to go to sleep expression the 1st few months I had to go to sleep with like calming music on any like instrumental at ANY him goes for me to go to sleep because I was so used to masturbating to go to sleep and now beginning this new lifestyle I was just like you know we got to you know I had to build like new new tendencies and number 12 become mindful of what you look at I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. One of the things I had to stop doing especially at work because at work. Coming from a construction background we would have our safety meeting so anytime we had our safety meetings I tend to just like browse around to look at the guys sizes you understand sizes. So I would look at their sizes and I'll just be like. Well but then add to began his journey also accusing a look at the rocks look at the clouds look at the look look somewhere else because you either are doing too much right now even when I'm driving like you to stop when like you know you're at the red light and you just looking at anybody passing So you want the females I was looking like he's look at the light look summer out bounce your eyes off. So we just spoke about the bread and now we're on to the candlestick 7 branched candlestick as long as I am in the world I am the light of the world let your light shine share your faith what people are able to see so this is focused and most of what people are really able to see. Number one witnessing share your faith and eventually your testimony and they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of the testimony and mission when I 1st shared my testimony and Kosar I thought that I was under the impression that if I showed my testimony then I means I'm free but I still need to realize the the verse the words prior to the word of the testimony that they overcame him by the blood of the Lambs of the Lamb that there is that work that has to take place between Jesus and I number 2 and let people see you stop isolating yourself Lord knows I love to isolate myself but that's because I grew up as an only child but as I've been on this journey I'm like you get out there let people see you learn to have healthy platonic relationships with others keep sex out of the equation number 3 be in the moment become present stop replaying old sex capades casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalted the self against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ takes sermon No it's one of the things I've been doing and realizing that that's what my mind tended to do the most like replaying these old things that have happened so when I'm. At church I tend to just take sermon to keep my mind from going back to the old because that tends to be the devil's playground who's just like well you want to do better but I got to mine and nobody news number for journaling read your thoughts so as you're writing of course you're able to now see what you've been thinking about number 5 moved. To mean that honor Honors got so forth what happens when you're having sex all this dopamine that social with the pornography masturbation your brain is thinking OK good to go and what's released now is the dopamine so there's that all alternative dopamine and that's how beautiful God is that there's that upturned of doping that we can go to so that is what's what sweat producing workouts release your frustration in different. Way number 6 hobbies gardening sewing carpentry whatever to learn a new skill go to the museum number 7 volunteer Habitat for Humanity when I was in Florida I was a cruel leader so for me it was fun personally for just to participate like the carpentry work church functions as well and the Holy Place the last piece of furniture which is the altar of incense So the prayers of God's people revelation 5 be. So in my head I was I love it I got to pray she says help me because it's like you're so used to medicating yourself with that and now realizing that God is like no no no come to me I want to comfort you keep your wants your joys and your sorrows your cares your fears before God you cannot burden him you cannot wear him his heart of love is touched by our sorrows and even. Of them take to him everything that perplexes them I like you saw how the girl she was like you know weeping over the phone in my head I was like I love cheese I just want to watch my boy I want to be in someone's arms right now and god like no no no come to me let me help you nothing is too great for him to bear for he holds up world he rules over all the affairs of the universe nothing that in any way concerned our peace is too small for him to notice there was no chapter in our experience too dark for him to read there was no perplexity too difficult for him to unravel no calamity can be far the least of his children no one Zaya to harass the soul no joy no chair no sincere prayer escape the lips of which our heavenly Father is unobservant or in which he takes no immediate interest so there is that value in praying in communion in talking with God and realizing that the things we used to do in the past that was based upon false intimacy and God is designed to have such a true intimacy with us so we just spoke about the holy play. And now we're going to the holy place. Which only has. One well sorry once again we're going to we're reminded of the veil that takes place right here so we've gone through the journey of the pornography we acknowledge like oh my gosh I have an issue and then we're reminded with the 2nd coming of Jesus we come to the altar we're just like the Lord here lay down all my issues and then we're then reminded through the labor because of the blood in the water that there is Christ Jesus Christ and them are minded again of his 2nd coming and we go through this process and then once again reminded of his 2nd coming How beautiful is it for a miner of his hope. So here we have the Ark of the covenant between these 2 angels was the mercy seat where the presence of God dwelled this symbolizes God's throne in Heaven which is likewise located between 2 angels so the 1st one is the jar so within the Ark of the covenant we have the jar of manna Amerinds rod and the table of 10 commandments so this isn't the most holy place. So the 1st one will talk about is the man a so filling ourselves with men. But valor shall meditate day and night that is observed to do according to all that is written there in for then that I shall make it by the way prosperous and then I have good success so this is now an opportunity to bring our mind the bring the mind of the story student which is our minds in direct contact with the infinite God So no god and no yourselves to those that value in spending time with Christ and realizing that who he's created us to be. Another piece that's in the ark of the Covenant is Aaron's rod that butted the dead rod that but it bears fruit Likewise you can see the resurrection. Jesus said on to her I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me Vello he were dead yet shall he live. 10 Commandments which is the the 3rd article which is in the ark of the covenant the 10 Commandments I keep my key management and live so prior to me coming to Christ I always thought Christian and their God was just so drudgery which is low. And the crazy thing of my plans was to come to Christ when I was in my forty's after I was married after I had kids you know God he's always interested in changing our lives so just to see where I am now I praise God for that. The face cometh not for to steal and to kill and to destroy i calm that they may have life and that they might have life having even more abundantly so I was saying that what I was doing really is not helping me to live more abundantly that God desires for us because expression when we continue in the journey sometimes monthly comes a point where just like is this I'm really going to Missouri and God says white listen I want you to live and that's the beautiful thing about God like as Jackson had mentioned earlier God in this like that's what we're that's our higher goal that we're trying to attain to so this is once again a bird's eye view so we spoke about the gate where we've acknowledged outside OK there's upon our sea this is all that's going on the sexual addiction the masturbation and we see that this is not God's ideal he's not best for us because at the end that you could do what you want to do but when it comes to Christ and even me having to realize that like he this is not God's best he desires for you to live abundantly so you come to a place of acknowledging that this is an issue and as you begin this journey you're then reminded of his 2nd coming as you go through the gate and realizing that he is the only way that there's no other way to get to this place of the most holy place that place of where you're truly able to commune with God that there's just one place to enter through and that is through Jesus Christ and as you begin at the altar of the burnt offerings you come to places just surrendering it all to Christ the pornography the masturbation the sexual addiction the traumas the pains anything else you may have. And as you go to the laver with the water which also represents the Holy Spirit and being reminded that in the courtyard with the blood in the water you're seeing Jesus Christ at the cross that as you begin this process chooses just like listen I have gained the victory then you too can have the victory and as we continue we then see the veil once again of his 2nd coming and we continue then and to seeing the bread which I have mentioned be mindful of the breads you eat and then also the candlestick what people are able to see from you and the alter of being able to continually daily praise him and commune with him and then we have the veil again reminded of his 2nd coming that as we go through this journey because I know for myself personally I have my moments where I'm just like it isn't really worth it and I'm like he's the Yes it's like you cannot take this to heaven and that was something I was like What are you trying to do you just want the immediate gratification and crisis is constant reminding me of that of his 2nd coming and then we enter into the arc of the coming covenant where we have his 10 commandments where he reminds us to keep my commandments and to live then we have the man which he's telling us to be mindful of what she eat and then also the Aarons rod that through this journey as we begin it and acknowledge and go through everything realizing that God has the ability to resurrect us and that's the beauty of it because sometimes in months we have these moments where we're just like God I feel so worthless God I feel so empty God I feel so lonely I feel so. And God like listen I can resurrect you and that is the beauty of it but as you continue on the journey daily one thing I had to realize that I had to have boundaries so just as a picture of a black par which we mention was the pornography aspect of it this part like the fence the post like the boundaries there are certain boundaries we now have to keep in place so for myself personally one of the boundaries I have curfews I have a calling text curfews don't call me past a certain time because I realize in the past expression when I was late at night like you know 12 when I talk to walk in the morning I realize that sometimes I'm on the phone. On long asleep so this guy's voice and I'm like you this is why you're going to it because you're not a rouse. And of course sometimes there are all those relapses so do not think it's going to be perfect Granted everyone is different some people just like who I heard the message I'm done and then feel like for myself it took me quite a lot of tact of that and then also took about. A 2 year journey for me to really come to a place like right we're we're done but to realize that it takes a while everyone's different from myself because this has been something I was struggling with for about 1415 years and to see that as I've been becoming more aware of certain things took me a while so the relapse for getting priorities anxiety speeding up ticked off exhausted and you relapse so the 1st one you're forgetting the priorities like sometimes you set goals like I'm going to do such and such but then you don't get that done and then you haven't desired it could be just like oh my gosh I didn't do it and then now you're trying to speed up to do what you fail to do so now you become ticked off and then you're ticked off because now you're trying to catch up because you're anxious because you forgot to do what you're supposed to do and then eventually just become exhausted just like a well I tried to speed I'm ticked off whatever got it out and then you're just like you know what forget all this relapse so these are just tools to help you identify your patterns in your behavior. For a right just man fall 7 times and rise again so this is a process of becoming there for this any man and being Christ he is a new creature all things are passed away behold all things are become new so you're all thinking patterns your old habits your old way of serving God your old companions your old identity just take it day by day your new thinking pattern your new habits your new way of serving God your new companions friends new identity so it's a process because the one thing I had to realize was to stop saying right here we're not going to do it for 2 years and sometimes for me I became overwhelmed with knowing that oh my gosh 2 years like one was over 2 years and in my head I'm like you to just focus on today and let us have victory for today because by God's grace I just continue to live day by day that you then let's you know it's whatever until God call you to marriage but just realizing the value and just taking it day by day. What was once pleasurable to us will become our enemy as we commit to the journey of wholeness because when we were once lost we are now found her. So will pray. My heavenly Father thank You Lord so much for the journey that you have brought me through I think you that the same power that you have extended on to me is the same power that you are able to extend to everyone within this room whether it may be them or somebody else they may know I pray that they were able to take away something in knowing that your god that loves them and that you are just calling them higher as the rest of the day goes on I just pray that you may keep our minds in tune with the and that ultimately we when we leave this place you will know that we truly have less experience than you and use them I do pray you meant this media was brought to you by Audioboo a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio version or you would like to listen to more sermon leave a Visit W W W dot audio Verse dot org.


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