Father in heaven, it's good to laugh. Father, we invoke your name as the creator of culture. You are the God of Koreans. You are the God of Americans. You are the God of all humanity. So Father, we ask that you continue to give us a sense of humor, to be able to laugh about some of these differences. And Lord, grant us the keen insight to see through culture and to see the kingdom of heaven and to embody the gospel message. Father, should any person in this room not be where we should be in our walk with you, we ask that you use this medium and to convict us on, on all sorts of things, but we want to dwell with you. And even if there's some element in our hearts where we don't want to dwell with you, we ask that you convert us continually and to allow our minds and our hearts to, to resonate and to sync up with you. We pray Jesus' name. Amen. So there is a artist, Chinese artist who grew up in Germany. Her name is Young Le. She has a whole art exhibit, and she was talking about as a Chinese person, she grew up in her teens and she felt like she was Chinese. But when she went to Germany, she just experienced a whole different world. And she's giving this artistic representation on the differences between east and west. The exhibit is called East meets West, or Mess West meets East, whatever, whatever one meets the other. So the blue is the German side, and then the red is the Chinese side. So he writes in Chinese and German, and this is . This is what the, the worldview, the life of the western person is the individual. The frame of reference is always inside out. Me first, and then it's not me in terms of like theological me. It's not selfish, it's just the individual is where reality starts from. Now on the eastern side, reality does not start from the individual reality starts from the corporate group. Now you made me think, how is that possible? But this is how Asians function. The reality always starts from the group and then comes, how does the group view me? Different perspective? Yes. And this impacts our spiritual lives or our family. I mean, everything. So this is where it starts. So for example, this is a, this is a, a German camp meeting lunch. Yes. And this is a Korean camp meeting lunch, as you see. Okay? Germans in the western world, they believe in individualism. And so they're an organization. So when you get, when we be distributing something automatically without instructions, people get in line, ha ha ha, ha ha. But in Asia, that is so inefficient. Why do I have to wait in line when I can just go to the eggs and the, and the french toast, right? And, and, and ignore all these people waiting in line. It's, it's more efficient. Now, this is, it tends to, it's, it's meant to be humorous, but this has missiological ramifications that when there were Western missionaries that went to China and they're giving out rice, all these Chinese came in and it's just like, you know, you know, just a came in as a group. And these westerners are like, these guys are primitive. How, why? Why don't they learn to get in line? They're, you know, elbowing each other and, and getting in and whatnot. This even happened in Korea where the first Ikea opened in Ikea, and I don't know what it is about Koreans and free, but they said, you know, you know, when you have the, when you, we Americans don't, Korean Americans don't notice it, but when you go into, in Ikea, you have those little survey and you have those little golf pencils that are really, really cheap. And it's, you use the golf pencil to write your survey, but it said free pencils, right? So these Koreans all went to Ikea, not to shop at Ikea, but to get a free pencil. And this made the international news. I'm like, why? Korea is now affluent. They don't need to get free pencils, especially the small, little golf cheap ones. So they all came in and they're not waiting a line. They're all in, like, just all around the small little plastic plexiglass stand trying to get that free pencil. It's just in the mentality that, hey, it's more efficient if we all go together than wait in line. But the western definition of efficiency is everyone get in line and get your stuff one at a time. So it's not one or is better than the other. But there is a, there is a cultural difference between, between the two. Another picture is, you see here, this is your version of self. So Ek, i, the, the version that Westerners see themselves as like the whole world, the Easterners really don't see themselves as an individual. This is a form of communication that westerners, when they say A, and they want to get to B, they just explain A to B. But for Easterners, they have to explain everything else that's going around because they have a holistic way of, of explaining a certain part, a scenario. For example, you know, I, I had this interaction with my parents. I'm like, Hey, I met pastor so-and-so today. That was all I wanted to say. Thank you so much. I met today. And he's like, who's that? What, what, what church is he from? Well, where's his wife? Where are kids? Did he take a el a plane or did he take a van? I don't know any of this information. All I said, I met him today. Well, what time did you meet him? Was it after lunch before? Why does it matter? Like, I just met him. But for him, all these details impact his future interaction with that pastor. Does that make sense? And for him, he needs to know all the information to be up to date. So then when he has an interaction, he said, oh, my son told me you took an airplane at four o'clock and you were with your wife and da, da da. And then that helps his future interaction with him. Whereas for me, I was like least common denomination denominator information and just straightforward. Okay? There is a little bit male female dynamics here, but there is also a cultural element as well. This is social interactions. So for example, in a western context, I am friends with these two people. She's friends with those people, friends. But in an eastern context, we're all friends with everybody. And there's no, like, it was just, it's connected. So if one person wants to do some kind of social interaction, it affects everybody. Yes or no? Yes. Now, this is the basis for a lot of social interactions at Korean church, right? And so I, we, we, my wife and I go to an American, you know, regular, international, you know, non Korean church. And I was like, Hey, let's invite so and so and so and so, so that's just my mind. Like, I like them, let's invite them. I okay, but my wife and the Koreans, well, what if, what if this person hears and, and that's, this is this person's sister, and this person goes to this person's Sabbath school, and we need to invite the whole church over. I'm like, what? How did it go from two families to, to 200 people? This is, this is not the way it should be, but this is just the way their social interactions work. This is partying where in a western context, you just interact with two people here and you sip and you go get some food, and you went after two other people are there and whatnot. In western, in eastern context, you have group games. Yes. And you need a, you need a leader. I'm like, guys, it's now game, game time. Let's get in a circle and, and in a automatic, and Korean Americans is funny thing, even though we're in this paradigm, we like that social interaction. Or the other way we're in this, this paradigm. This is, you guys are looking at me like, no, we like this. And it's very interesting that, that Korean Americans had a hybrid and somewhere in between these two things. So we went to an American get together, and there was no formality, no games, nothing. And I'm just like, ha, hanging out with this person. And my wife was sitting on the sofa and waiting the whole time. She's like, so what's, what's the next event that's gonna happen? I'm like, no, this is, we're just here to chill and relax and, and hang out and enjoy the music. Enjoy the, you know, veggie, cheese and veggie, you know, champagne, whatever we we're having. And she's like, so there's no games or anything? No, no. And she's like, El, you should start one. I'm like, I'm not gonna start a game. Right? But here's the funny thing, Westerners like that also, you all know there's always that, there's always a westerner. Like, this is great. Like there's this game. And, and, and Koreans know, and it's not a Korean thing. Japanese and Chinese and Vietnamese, they have similar thing. They just like this corporate formality to just hang out. Very, very interesting. This is the vision, the perspective of the, the boss. This is called power distance. So in the Western context, if you're the, the, the, the pastor, the boss, the president, the physician, you're, you're, you're higher, but just a little bit higher. And in many ways you call them by their first name, right? But in the eastern context, if you're the person in charge, you are super high. And so at the general conference, very interesting that when we have, you know, world meetings coming, coming together, people from Europe, Australia, Canada, America, when they, and when they encounter elder president, elder Ted Wilson, who is our GC president, they call him, Hey, Ted, what's going on, Ted? Yeah. And you guys know this, this is a, and for them, it's a, a matter of equality. We're, we're that friendly that I can call you Ted. Now, people from Africa, Latin America, and Asia, I mean, they're like, ooh. And then they, they, they bow down and they, they will never say, Hey, Ted, they say, greeting is in the name of Jesus, elder president, pastor Ted Wilson. I mean, it's just this different interaction. Koreans, when I see them, they're just, you're just like, they, they get really quiet. I'm like, nah, nah. And they get really short and, and they, their, their sentences get really short and they just, you know, a handshake. And they don't want to interact anymore. Africans go all out. I mean, it's just a, there's a different, it's power distance. It has nothing to do with education or lack of education thereof. Okay? This is when, how to interact with a problem. So if you have a problem, if this is a very, and, and the Germans may take this even more extreme, but if there is an issue to resolve, you hit it straight on. And the more straightforward you are, straightforward you are, the more efficient you are to resolve the issue in the Asian context, most likely is if you avoid it, it'll naturally go away on its by itself. But, and sometimes it does, sometimes it does, other times it comes back larger, okay? And so Westerners will view this as avoidance. Easterners will view this as being too straightforward and always bringing up a problem all the time. And so when Westerners work in the eastern context, we have a Korean American friend of mine, she worked at the Korean university, and every time there was a staff meeting, she would raise her hand like, look, we gotta dress this problem, this and this and this and this, and this, and this. And how come you as an administrator are not doing anything? Well, number one, she's just insulted all of them. Two, she insulted them in public shame. And three, she brought up a problem. Okay? And so you only think, how do you bring up a problem? This affects church board meetings in Korea. You don't go to church board and just mention all your problems. They'll just peg you as a problem maker. Even though the, you're not the one making the problem. You're the one bringing the problem up. So they just want to, to just go away. And then the problem goes away with him. Okay? So in a, in an eastern context, there's a different way to bring up problems rather than just raising your hand and doing, so, this is what happens in old age, the Westerners, you retire and you raise a dog and you enjoy life. Whereas Easterners, you have to raise your grandchildren. Okay? So in the, in the e this is just maybe not all culturally, I don't know if this really affects, well, this is for fun in the West. If it's, if it's sunny outside, you're happy. And if it's raining, you're, you're depressed. But in Asia, your mood has nothing to do with the weather. And my, my wife said, it's very interesting, why do people on the west always talk about the weather? Like the weather is this perpetual conversation. It's a safe thing to talk about always. And there, you know, some, some people can talk about the weather for hours. And I, I pray that you not meet any of those kind of people. So this is another one. When you are feeling angry, Westerners have an angry facial expression, and they convey anger outside Easterners. When they're feeling angry, they're always smiling, okay? So there's, there's a dissonance on what's on the inside and the outside. Now, Westerners will view this as duplicitous and fake and having two faced hip hypocrisy. But Easterners are saying, I have to protect all other people from my negative anger or whatever. So I don't wanna share all this stuff out. So I'll just pretend to be smiling. And I don't want to put dumb anyone. I don't wanna burden anyone with my issues. So that's, there's, that's the difference there. When people want an apple, they say, I want an apple. If here she says she's okay, but she really, she says she really wants some breakfast, but she says, I'm okay. So there's that, there's that dissonance. I had this issue with my grand, my, my grand, my, my mother-in-law. She came and she said, Hey, I'll make you food. And I said, it's okay, right? And, and you have to say, it's okay. Apparently three to four times to really, that's a real Korean, no, but I know it's okay. And so I went, and then she just made this entire humongous meal. And I'm like, but I'm not hungry. I'm okay. And so, in my American perspective, I just went to my room. And so I thought maybe she was going to eat or whatever, and she had just made it for me. And then she was really upset that you didn't even taste it, even my food. And so she's like, you feel being in her, whatever. And I'm like, but I didn't ask her to make food. I'm not hungry. I'll be, I'll eat it later. You know, I'm just being functional. But there was that, that, that, that dissonance. The other thing is, when my father-in-law, Hey, would you like an apple? And, and he said, no. So then I didn't offer him an apple. And, and it literally not because of this, I literally offered an, I said, would you like an apple? We went to an apple farm. And he said no. So I didn't ask him again. And later on, I found he was really mad cuz he wanted an apple the whole time. But I didn't ask him a second time and a third time and a fourth time. And so he was like, and because he can't ask, he's like, can I have that apple? Is that be a point of shame for him? He already said no. So he can't be like, well, I actually, I want one. So he's just there like, waiting for me to ask the whole time. So there is a, a, a communication issue at the restaurant. The Westerners are very quiet. Easterners are very loud. Breakfast and dinner in, in especially Germany, is usually cold. And lunch is always hot. Cuz that's, that's a German German thing. That's not an American thing. I don't think we have cold dinners in America. But in Asia, every meal is a hot meal, especially breakfast. You need to have cook with pop. And that's kind of a nice breakfast. Not this, you know, bong and croissant with coffee. That's not breakfast, that's . And so this is just art, art that she just kind of made that really doesn't have any function. This is Asia. On the left you have a fuman shoe guy, a tea kettle and rice, and you got a, a German, you know, leader, leader stock in whatever, whatever that's called as sausage and some beer in the west, you know, birds are nice to look at. In the east, you eat them in the e in the west, you enjoy the sun, you want to get as tan as possible. In the east, you avoid it like cancer. So darker skin is considered to be beautiful in the west, but wider skin is considered to be more beautiful in the east for entertainment. People watch TV in the west or really streaming online TV now. But in the east you go to Ang and for, for vacations, westerners like to, you know, look at things. Whereas Asians take pictures of everything. Transportation. We used to ride cars and now we ride bikes. But in Asia, they used to ride bikes and now they ride cars. I mean, that's actually changing in China now, where no longer people are riding bikes. They're riding cars, which is causing a lot of, lot of issues. So this is a little dated, but it's still fun to look at. This is kind of point of reference of time. So when you say, Hey, we will meet at 10 30, you know, the more American you are and the more acclimated you are to be to Western society, you will be there at 10 30 or most likely 10, 25 a little bit earlier or, but Asians consider like, oh, that's like yai pank. There's a gym in there, which is like, really, you know, 10 30 to 11 o'clock is where you should arrive. And so time is not, it's, it's a philosophical perspective. The time is not an entity, okay? In Greek philosophy, time is an actual tangible reality. It's measured, it's tangible in a sense. And so Greek perspective of the Sabbath is a lot more profound in that sense. Whereas the Asian perspective is time is a relational entity. Okay? I I won't get too much into it. So then Sabbath in an, in an, in an Asian perspective, is not SunEd down to sundown an ontological reality, but is a relational experience with God from Friday night time. It's a different perspective, but it's comes from dif two different worlds. So here you have this chart, and, and this is from a, a dissertation, from, from a guy, and there's, there's Asian and Western. The Asians are situation centered. This make them sound like Asians are situational, ethicists. I'm not, not saying that each situation is different. So when I'm interacting with Tom and Susan, that is an all different interaction when I'm interacting with, with Jacob and Helen. Like, these are two different situations where, whereas in the west, it's like I, it's me, I'm just interacting with them, but it's still me interacting with them. So I'm always the same. Whereas an Asian perspective, you're always kind of changing and adapting to where people are. So I'm go, I'm just gonna read down here, but Asians are collective, they have a group identity. The achievement of goals is set by others, and there's an obligation to the group. Now, this is very interesting, and I'll just mention, this is my experience. By three years ago, I got invited to work at the general conference, the world headquarters for the Abne church. And when I went, my, my western friends are like, Hey, God bless you. Hey, that's, that's amazing. You must be proud. You're, it's not an achievement in any sorts. But people were saying that I just, they didn't know what to say. So like, hey, it was all based on me, me, me, me, me, my accomplishment, whatever, whatever. All right? Whatever. When I went to the Korean perspective, they said, we are proud that Corion people are represented at Korean head world headquarters. I'm like, what? It's like, you are Korean. I am Corion Cor is now at the gc. I'm like, what? So when they see individuals, they're not individuals. They're the extension of Korea. So even if you're half Korean, you're still an extension of Korea in some way. So there's a collective mentality that you, your accomplishments are not your own. If you graduated with medical degrees and law degrees, you didn't do it by yourself. We all helped you do it. That's the mentality you're coming from. Whereas the Western perspective of Korean-American is like, man, I studied for eight years and I went through resident, I I did, and I, I pulled, I did all that. He's and myself. And then the parents are like, you're welcome, you're welcome. I helped you with that. That's just the, there's a, there's a dissonance in that, and then there's an obligation to the group. So then there's expectations. Since you are now accomplished, and I helped you, now you need to help me back. And then from our perspectives, like, why, why, why do I have to help you? I that this is, and then you just create a line and you tell them to go away. So there's a, there's a difference of that. There's a duty obligation, there's a relational responsibility, duty to others motivation based on obligation. Okay? And this is something that's very fascinating. Korean Americans do not know the amount of obligation that Koreans oblige others. It is an enormous weight of obligation in the Western context. I mean, we may have like one or two or three obligations and we're like, oh, this is so much, oh, this is so much, this is much a burden. But it is, we don't have it to a degree. And it's very difficult for us to understand that. And we'll talk about a little bit later what that means. There's a hierarchy. We talked about submissive to authority, emphasis on positions and relationships, accepts rules and propriety. We'll talk about what that means. Propriety. And there's a passivity and yield inness adherence to social politeness, emphasis on self effacement. This difference is the natural social default. And that this is what's interesting. Korean Americans adopt this wholeheartedly. Okay? For example, heard any prayer request in here, passivity, right? I don't want to say anything. And usually the one that says, I do, and I mentioned yesterday, you know, I was at a black church and there's, there's one lady, can you pray for my husband? He's sleeping around. Can you pray for my son? He's in jail. I'm like, that is not passivity. That is engagement and, and, and a reality. And then when, when Asians see that these, oh, they say these kind of things, but from that world perspective, it's like, Hey, I'm an individual. I'm going through these things. So you are asking me for a prayer request. I will tell you what my prayer request is. But from the Asian perspective is like, what is everyone thinking about me? They asked a prayer request question. Oh, what can, can you pray for my son? He just got into Harvard Medical School and we just want to pray for him. You know, can you pray for my, my daughter? She just married, you know, you know, BTS boy, and, and I, I want to pray for him. So it becomes this prayer request become a little skewed because you're not, it's not your personal need, but it's a public announcement program that, that you have. Okay? But it's very interesting. Korean Americans, they, they take that box and they just really adopt that. That's, this is something that they have been born with perhaps that when, when, when Korean Americans do stick up, they get slapped to go back down. So we've just been trained to just not say anything. And the Western perspective is, and, and this is, this will sound very, very, very, very, you know, a matter of fact, individual autonomy, achievement of individual goals, trained to be individuals. So the minute that our parents raise us up to about, up to about when they, when they go to school, they're trained really as Koreans. We, we were all Korean trained when we were little, right? But the minute they let us go to preschool, I mean, I remember one after preschool, I got my name tag with my name on it. I mean, individuality starts from there, okay? You get your own box, your own bag, okay? You ask a question, okay, what do you think? What do you think? What's your favorite color? So individuality is bred into the education. So when we come back home and it's like, mommy, mommy, my favorite color is like, I don't care what, what your favorite color is our family believes in. And then there's this dissonance of values between the two. Okay? Rights and privilege, responsibility to self, personal rights, motivation is based on feelings. There's equality, dislike for rules and control. Play down, superiority, inferiority. And you question authority. It is a very American thing to question authority. Our country was based on questioning authority. Yes, England, get out of here. We are our own people, right? And so you have this rebell that's couched under democracy and, and republicanism and all that stuff. But we are interacting with our Korean parents who are, do not believe in rebellion at all. And then lastly, you have self exertion, aggressive, expressive, assertive, open and accessible to others. So if you like communicate with your hands and you can just articulate really well, and you use your voice, and especially public speaking, these are not really Korean virtues. These are very American virtues to have. And if you're aggressive and you're forceful in your argumentation, they, they kind of think you are kind of scared. And they think, man, wow. He must be educated by the western side. Yeah. Korean communication is, you know, you've watched Korean pastors, yes. How do they preach? They, they stand behind here and they don't move. They do fluctuate their voice, which is good, but they just kind of stand here and they rarely use your hands. But if they do, it's more like, you know, this and this and, and just, just the variation of, of this like a nineties hip hop dancer. But it's an American communication is you got to move and interact with people as much as possible. So this is a very interesting diagram that this guy came up with. So there are a difference of, and we talked about there are first generation and 2.0 generation people. And I was talking to, I think it was Chris, there's different version. Some of you're 1.3, 1.7, I am 2.0, my wife is definitely 1.0. And now we have our kids. And the question is, they're not 3.0, they're more like 2.5 because you have the, the, if you do the mathematics, you guys know what I'm talking about. But there's, there, there are sociological definitions of each generation. So the first generation willingly works hard. And by the way, I pastored a, a Romanian church, and I've had other, other people, other, other, other people groups. And there's a difference between Korean motherland, Korean, and an immigrant Korean. And that immigrant Korean is not unique to a Koreans. It is the immigrant mentality for all nations. Japanese immigrants, Portuguese immigrants, Romanian immigrants. There's something about if you're an immigrant, you have a different mentality. You, you have to actually have some fortitude to leave your mother country, learn a new language, raise your kids in a foreign land, eat weird food, and hang out with people who smell differently than you do. It's a different kind of mentality, mindset to have. So they realize they are already disadvantaged. They are on the lower, lower end of society. So diligence is the way to excel in society. So they have to work hard. Yes, children should show gratitude for those struggles, okay? This is a natural expectation that they have. But here's the thing, in the Korean culture, they never articulate it to you because it's not a direct communication. Now, this is very interesting. How many of you, and I, I think this is funny that how many of your churches you have, like in your, or you remember in your old churches that you have like Mother's Day or Father's Day, Sabbaths, right? And then, or, or even on, on tv, on Korean tv, kbs, ORMB or whatever, mbs, nbc or whatever there is. And then when the parent is encouraged to look into the camera and share some words to their children, right? This was always very interesting for me because western parents, if they have words of affection or love, they just tell their kid, right, you are special. I love you. I just, you are. But Koreans can't do that. That that's almost a violation. It's awkward. Like it's just the two of us. And we're just, I'm talking to my child, and this is weird, but if there's a camera And this camera is gonna be shown to the entire church, I mean, and I'm, I don't, they're very sincere. I'm not, I'm not saying they're faking it, but they say the most tear jerking things, they're like, like No, and there's like, you know, and I'm thinking, why are you telling the camera? Why don't you just tell your child? But for their perspective, they need to tell everyone. And that reality is more meaningful than the one-to-one direction. So this camera has, I mean, techno, that's why Asians love technology, cuz they can communicate to their children. So children should show gratitude for those struggles. Oh, so this is, this is what I wanted to say, that if you really want appreciate your parents, the Korean American is like, mom, dad, I just love you. I just appreciate what you've done for me. And you're, you're most likely your parents are like, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awkward for them. Okay? Maybe, I mean, if, maybe if your parents are affectionate, they'll love you, whatever. But to give glory back to them or honor them, you do it in public and money, Money works. That, that money is the, is the sixth love language for, for Asians. But you do it in public. You do it in public. And it's just, it's the way, I mean, and especially not on national tv, but in their, everyone, if everyone in their village knows, and their village means, it usually means their local church. That's really, their whole world is their, their local church. So that's that. Children are children until marriage, right? Children are children. The western perspective is, you are 18, you're an adult, get outta my house. I've done my job. Whereas Asians, you are a child until I die. And I will, I will tangle you until, until you die too. And then she, and when their, their mentality is for the sake of the children. That's their motto for life. I do everything. Children, children, children, children, children. So second generation comes in and they're all about self-actualization and independence. Because of our education, we are on this journey to find who I am, who am I, what are my passions? What am I called to do? Why did God put me on this earth? What is my purpose in life? And our parents are thinking I came to this country so that you, in, so from their perspective, they're seeing that these are all selfish questions. And, and from that per, can you, do you understand how it could be? It's, oh, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. But we've been educated in that culture to be that way. So there's a little bit of, of sympathy that needs to go on. So we're based on American western culture, English language, even even the language itself mimics our culture. So I'm an only child, and I, I, I saw that when other people talk, they said And I'm thinking, UDI is plural, right? So that must mean there's more. So then I would go to church and I would say, or my mother. And people say, no, no, no, no, that's not polite. You need to say . I'm like, UY, but I'm an only child. There's no other brothers or sisters here that I know of. Why do I have to say ? But that's the polite thing to say. So I'm like, all right, URI, man. But the plural is a lot. It's is coming from a corporate collective perspective than individual. So even our, our grammar mimics that the Korean language is not hung or al it's, it's our language. That's really the polite term to use for the Korean la it's very interesting, very interesting. Children begin, begin day dating outside the culture. So this is happening in the second generation. You have in thinking is inherently Western is inherently western. But the funny thing is this, our social interactions are still, are still Asian, but our thinking is still is is Western. So we like the group games and we like the, the social awkward. We like being quiet and different, but we think like westerns. And lastly, by third generation, they're inherently western. They're inherently western. They, if you keep the language with them, they may speak Korean, but because their parents are thinking western, they're living in a western context. They're ver virtually in, you can't differentiate them between the, the minority. This is not a Korean American pattern. This is a Japanese pattern, remaining pattern. The Hispanic pattern doesn't fit this just because there's so many versions of Hispanic culture. And in some parts in America, the Hispanics are actually the majority. So it doesn't really fit this to a T, but it kind of does, but not all the way. So you hear stories about you who this, you know who this is. So, I mean, when we saw her, and I don't, and then this is the interesting thing. How many of you, when you see a Korean making it somewhere, how many feel like a little bit, just a little bit like, ah, Just a little bit. Yes or no? Now, if you don't feel that way, then you must be thoroughly American and western. But there, there are still remnants of this in our programming, you understand? So we're like, oh, Chloe, Kim, Kim. Oh, And you feel this little like and the Korean, they're Korean American. There's even more of like, I'm Korean American. She's Korean American. So she was giving, she was, she got the, I forgot what she got, the gold. Yeah, whatever, and the whatever she was doing. And, and, and she was telling her story, and her story wasn't like, everyone was like, yeah, man, I just put like hours of practice in. I just wanna thank my coach and yeah, I'm thank my wife, and like, I'm so, I'm so proud, like, da da da. Everyone else was saying this, but you know what she said, I just wanna thank my dad. You know, my dad, he woke up like three o'clock in the morning every day. We drove four hours to the practice, and he waited for me and my dad, my dad. And I was like, that is such a Korean thing to say. Yeah. Not, not, not blaming her, but just sociologically pinpointing that even though she's American and she's won the pinnacle of American sports, this is a rebellious sport in, it's in, its the way it's portrayed. Yeah, you're a snowboarder, whatever. But even this, the pinnacle of American accomplishment at the core, she's got some koreanness and paying respect back, back to her dad. Yeah. Very interesting. So this, this is really profound and this, this, this made sense for me, okay? Western culture is all based on Greek philosophy. I'm not gonna get into all this, right? So the Greeks, they had this, this level of peace in their country. So they sat around and they ca what rose were these philosophers? These philosophers had nothing to do. So they're just sitting around and thinking about thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, thinking and thinking. And they're thinking, what is, what is this? What is reality? And what is truth? And so the, the mindset is we need to find what objective reality is. Whatever that is, we need to discover it. And when we discover it, then we have achieved happiness. And, and this, this idea has trickled out throughout all of Western civilization. So truth, truth is the ultimate western virtue. Honesty, accuracy, clean, being clean. You know, like this, like, not, not, not clean body, clean, but just, you know, clean articulation and, and, and accuracy. Precision, okay? That's what this is saying. So they, they said stuff like, the unexamined life is not worth living to find yourself, think for yourself, discovery of reality. Now, Eastern people did not do this. In Asia, you have, you know, these planes, yeah. And you got the Chinese empire. But within the Chinese empires, bazillions of empire, this empire, this empire, this empire, this empire. So they have no time to sit around and think about thinking, they just have to survive, okay? I mean, they built the great wall because they don't want the Mongolians to come down. I mean, Koreans are like hiding in the little peninsula. Please don't attack us. But then the Russians, the Japanese, and the Mongolians. But then there's the Chinese, there's a W Chinese, the mu Chinese, the nch, the, the, the Hmong. All these Chinese are China attackers. So we're just trying to survive, right? So the philosophy that has merged in Asia is, let's just get along. Does that make sense? Whereas in the West, we need to discover and be, be whatever. But in Asia, let's just, harmony is the ultimate Asian virtue. And I would say this, even at the expense of truth, we need to be harmonious. Whereas the West says, at the expense of harmony, we need to be, we need to be, and this is Martin Luther. Yeah, here I stand that even though this empire says, and I will be the, I will stand for truth. I mean, for me, as an American, that just makes me like, you know, you know, all of our movies, like though everyone, all of I shall stand for truth. Whereas in Asia, that's not a virtue. You're an idiot if you do that. No, seriously, you are, you're an idiot. Why? Why are you going to die? Continue to live. You will work it out later. Like, why, why? This is an Asian virtue. Okay? Now, I'm not saying that all people are, but these are generalizations, you understand? Okay? So here, this is the silver rule that Confucius says, do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself. Okay? And, and, and it sounds like what Jesus said, but that's what they call the silver rule. Jesus says is better, amen. Because this is, this is not proactive. It's a passive re recessive version of the, the other version. And then, so they believe in social structure, hierarchy, and stability. So I wanna show you this, okay? So this is the west, you know, truth, and that's the east harmony. Okay? Just the graphic there. Okay? So this is the basis for Eastern Confucian relationships. This is dogma, this is even deeper than the 10 commandments. Pause for dramatic silence. Okay? So one, you have the rule verse, the ruler, okay? Power distance is very, very high. You respect your, your king, your, your, your, your, your mayor, your whatever, whatever, whatever. Father, son, father is to be revered. A hundred percent son needs to submit to a father no matter what. Husband, wife, male is always superior to female. For a wife to be a good wife, she must always submit to husband and an older brother. Ang must always submit to or to AK or whatever, whatever your version is. Nuna, excuse me. This is dogma not a guideline. This is legal social law. And if we just adhere to this, we shall achieve what? Harmony. Bingo. Does this make sense? Okay, let me, lemme just pause. Any questions, any comments? Any, any, any, any, any, any breathing you want to take here? This is making sense to a certain degree. Now, I know, you know, maybe you might are familiar with this too, in terms of theoretical, but this is, now this is the funny thing. Koreans don't even know this about themselves. Like this is part of the os This isn't an app that they download and they're playing, this is part of their operating system. So automatically, if you are a, a woman, if there's a man, you're like, oh, nah, it's just, it's a presupposition husband, nah, father, whatever, nah, whatever. He could be saying all sorts of, you know, foolish, nah, nah, nah, nah. King could be doing all sorts of illegal, scandalous things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just dogma. Okay? So this, this is really, really, really dogma. This is now this, this isn't like, oh, you should have a good relationship. No authority is based on this. There is no bunking the system when it comes to this without question. You follow the system, you've achieved harmony. Now you throw some Korean Americans into this, this nexus who are like, oh, we are all equal. I believe in equal rights. I am a woman. I believe that I should stand up to my husband and tell him what to do once in a while and clean my floor. And, you know, or when a son or child says, no, dad, that's not, I tell you what to believe. You know, this kind of thing. Or you're gonna go up and be anti-political against your political leaders. I mean, that is a threat to harmony. Now, the, the Koreans aren't thinking like, oh, you're breaking the Confucian relationships and we cannot achieve harm. They're not thinking this, you understand? But it's in their, it's in their framework. It's a social sin. You're transgressing in that process. Okay? Anyway, I I'm not justifying them. I'm wanting us to understand both sides and hopefully get to some kind of resolution here. So Confucianism is order in the family brings order to society. And so Koreans have always big, been big on family, super big on the family. Adultery is like the worst thing ever. You know, the top country for a, a orphans for almost about 50 years. Guess which country that was? It's Korea. Korea has exported more kids, more orphans than any other country in the world. Why? Well, there's the, the, the human condition has all of its carnal nature. And the Koreans are, are just as adulterous as any other country. Don't, don't fool, don't let anyone fool you, okay? But because the social structure is so hard, there's so many children out of wedlock. You guys have heard that The baby box pastor, yeah. In Korea, there's a pastor in Korea, he just has a, a little, you know, deposit, deposit box. People put their children in there and he takes care of their children. Family in public must always be perfect, husband, wife, and two children, right? If you don't have two children, something's wrong with you. If you have like nine children, something are definitely wrong with you. Like, you need to have two children. Why? Two meaning you are two, when you die, you need to replace yourself with two more. Okay? So we need to have two. Right now, Korea is in crisis because people are not getting married. And they're not gay men. They're not having, they're having kids, but they're not having, you know, the kids the right order of the, anyway, you understand what I'm saying? Philio piety, parental authority and honor, I don't have to talk about that because you guys have been abused by that, by a lot. You have social hierarchy, male dominance, very interesting. When you look at the cultural dynamics, the cultural characteristic of Korea. Korea is a very masculine culture. Very interesting thing is America is also a very masculine culture. By masculine, it doesn't mean that men are always awesome, it means just very competitive, always wanting the best. So these two cultures in that sense, really align very well. So guess what? Korean Americans have pressure from the American slide to be the best. And they have pressure from the Korean slide to be the best. And so Korean Americans have a lot of psychological problems. Amen. Some who are like crying. You're like, yes, yes. You know what? Okay, so that's the feminine cultures are, they don't believe in being the best. They believe about taking care of each other and allowing the society to, to, anyway, that's, there's our cultures, like the, the Scandinavian cultures, Norway, Finland and Sweden are very feminine in that way. They don't believe in being the best. And by taking care of each other, they've become one of the best countries in the world. So it's an interesting dynamic in that way. And they believe in duty obligation. As said, there's a Korean American context. They believe honoring the family amongst the community and village. When I became a pastor, my parents were not, were not ex, they're like, you became a pastor. They were not that way. I wanted to go into medical route. I was doing an internship at, at Harvard Medical, and then when I went to seminary, they're like, oh, mom, mom, wait, wait, wait. You could. And I'm like, no, I, I feel called being a pastor. So my parents were like, kind of, ah, upset and like that. Then they told the church. And my local church is like, oh man, Justin could've da da. But now he's gonna be a pastor. Like anyone can become a pastor. Like, that's where all the, if you can't get the medical school, go become a pastor. That's what people do. All right, whatever. So I'm like, ugh. It wasn't until we started, you know, g y C and it got big that it got to Korea. Like the news reached Korea. And when it reached Korea, it got into a little magazine. And this little magazine got to my grandmother's house, and my grandmother lives in the middle of nowhere on top of a mountain. This a small little village, you know, little, little maor. And she's just there and she gets this little thing. And so she's like, ah, this is my grandson. So she's telling everyone in her village, right? All these villagers call my parents back home, and this is where their koan is from, right? And they're like, Hey, is that your son? So they're, they received all this honor, glory from this, their, their frame of reference. So G Y C is now exploding on the world. We're going to like Africa, Portugal, you know, China. And I'm saying mom and dad we're, I just got back from like Scandinavia, I just got back from Africa. And they're like, whatever, whatever. You're just the pastor. You're just, I just got back from Argentina. You're just the pastor. You're just the pastor. But when they got that phone call from a village in the middle of nowhere on some obscure mountain in Korea, this was their whole world. They're like, Justin, did you know that G Y C is going through the whole world? That's what I've been saying for the last nine years. But their frame of reference, they can't handle direct communication. It needs to come from an outside source. And especially if everyone in their knows, everyone in my village knows. Now, the Korean American context is maybe, maybe your, your your parents or yourselves. We don't have that village system anymore. And so the local church has replaced that local village. So if everyone in your church knows then, and this isn't a Korean a Adventist thing. This is, I've done this with Presbyterians Baptist Methodist Catholics. If their local Baptist church knows and they need to tell their local church, oh, then they made it. They've transcendent Nirvana, and now they're in the good. Okay? That's just, that's just their mentality. So their frame of reference is that, that that village mentality, they're, they're all about the best education in Korea. Oh, in America, sorry. They did a, a study of the best high schools in America. And guess what? The Korean communities are in every county where the best schools are in America. If there's, if there's a bad, bad school system, there's zero Koreans that live in that county. Professions of, of, of, of prestige are the doctor, engineer, business and lawyers. I'm sure you already know this. No, to farmers? No to artists, no to rider actors and teachers. Okay? So if you're like, mom, dad, I'm gonna be a writer. And you go, oh, No. Like, Okay. And it's usually monetarily motivated, obviously, right? It's motivated. And that's, that's the reality of it. Now, very interesting that in Korea, teachers have a position of prestige. My brother-in-law is a teacher. He's a high school Korean teacher. For, for seniors, it's amazing the level of prestig as universities court him, they give him free football tickets, free sports tickets, free restaurant tickets to, to woo him to, to get the best students. So these teachers are like these, you know, superstar, you know, football, high school football athletes. The teachers are not the students. The teachers are. And, but in America, teachers make zero amount of money, not very amount. They're all in teachers unions and striking. And so that's too much stress for the Korean generations. So they don't want us to be, if you're a teacher, no, no. Full respect to you. But not, not meaning any disrespect. Taking care of elders is huge. And they want you to, they want you to stay in the community. Now, this is the thing, Adventist, Adventists want us to stay in church. Non-Christian Koreans want us to stay in the community. So for people wanting to stay in church, stay in church, it's not a salvation motivation. It's just, just stay in our community. That's the pool. And I would say that's not a biblical pool pool, you know, it should be a genuine fell. I want you to be part of the saved group, you know, not safe group. You understand? But you know, it should be a salvation motivation that rather just a cultural affinity towards the Asian Korean context. This, this is some Korean family. I got off Google. I don't know who they are. Do you know them? Does anyone know Them? They're like, yeah, that's my uncle. Yeah. So, And, and so what happens is, in, in the church, they, they blend, they blend Christianity with Korean cism, and then the commandments that they really love. I mean, which commandment are they gonna love? I mean, that Is Confucian dogma in the Bible. Hello? So many ways Sabbath keeping, yeah, you can if you want to. That's, that's, that's recommended. But Honor your father And mother, that if God said it, you better do this one. You better keep. And I remember when I was in primary, my teacher taught me honor your father and your mother. And he's, he's like, you know, an out add and all adults. And that's what God is saying. He's implying all adults, honor all of them. And I'm like, that's not what the Bible says. No, no, no, no, no. Don't question your teacher. That's what it says. I'm like, no, that's, that's wrong. That's, you're putting words in. And I quoted Revelation 22, where, or 21 where people, anyway, I, that's in the, the, so there's other ones here about, about honoring your parents. They all love that. Serving others above self, because it's a communitarian perspective that if you serve the community, that's better than serving yourself. So they love that that follows in. There's emphasis on family, peace, harmony, and love. Very interesting that the Christian churches in North Korea, the Christian Church, there are Christian churches in North Korea, the official church, church official state churches, when they look at sermons, these elements are okay to talk on. So if you think about it, north Korean communist churches may be preaching the same gospel as messages in Korean-American churches. So if you have your Bibles, I wanna ask you again, you open your Bibles and someone really read really loud. Matthew 10, Matthew 19, mark 10. Look, let's read that really loud, and I'm come really quick, okay? Just be American, shout it out, be an individual, and just be, just, just read it. Okay? No deference here. No. You guys are familiar with that verse? Yes. When is the last time you heard that sermon preached in a Korean church? You must hate your mother-in-law. I mean, all these daughter-in-laws like, yeah, I wanna hear that sermon. You know? That's awesome. Okay, another one, Mar Matthew 19, someone please thank you that that is not a friendly verse to, to Korean Americans. Yes. Another one. Mark 10. Yes. Okay. The, that verse is you, when you get married, you leave your mother and father, and you cleave with your wife. That is a biblical principle. Amen. Okay? Every Koreans hate this. Korean Americans are pleading for this verse to come true, especially the sons. Luke 14. Luke 14. Luke 14, someone please. Okay, so similar verses, but you, you guys are familiar with that one? Yes. And it's kind of, kind of, when we re we kind of gloss glance over those and we're like, yeah, Jesus just saying, Hey, we need to worship him. But he's actually talking about these relationships. The social structure needs to be broken and rebuilt on a gospel perspective. It does not mean we now, mom, dad, Jesus says, I have to hate you, and I have to. No, no, no, no. I'm not gonna do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. But it means how do we rebuild his relationships based on the, listen, the Bible. On the Bible, rather than just on a cultural perspective, okay? Spiritual family before genetic family. Ephesians two, we don't have to go there. But the point is this, do you identify more as a Korean or do you identify more as a Christian, let alone Adventist? Something Angela said before was, was very interesting. She says that, Hey, we need to pick up all the garbage on this campus because we want people to show people to know how Christian we are. Yeah. Amen. But other, no, some others are like, Hey, we need to clean up because we need to show people how, how clean Koreans are. You know? So this is like two different motivations for the same thing. Very interesting. Where is your identity in, in Ephesians two? Paul is saying this, if there is another Christian here who's not Korean, because Jesus has saved his life, and Jesus has saved my life, I have more in common with him because Jesus' blood flows in both of us than I do with another unsaved Korean person. Even though genetically we may be Korean and we look the same, I have more affinity than this person. And this trumps anything that does in Korean, okay? Be spirit. The, the, the, there is a, oh, how do I explain? There is a certain reticence against fanaticism in Asian culture. Yeah. So, hey, be spiritual, but be spiritual to a degree where everyone else is spiritual. But don't be too spiritual. Don't go too high. Just be where everyone else is. Just call and just stay there. So it, it's, and so Jesus is, these, these verses that we read are very radical. And Jesus's like, Hey, if you're gonna go out, go all out for God. And the culture says no, well, you can just not that much. And there's a, there's a little bit of tension there. And lastly, the women, the Bible really defines women of value in a totally different way. We'll talk about that a little bit later. Okay, we're almost finished here. We'll take a break here. There's pressures from our parents. One, there's education. This is the, the slide that, that really, it really impressed the par, the parental, the, the older generation. They did not know, get this, please listen to this. They did not know that Asian Americans have academic pressure. Does that shock anyone? Or maybe, maybe you're all geniuses. And they're like, well, I just, I, I got straight ass off. Now I know we all got straight As in this room because we're all, we all have to, but for our lives depended on it. But when we go through college and grad school, I mean, there is, there is academic pressure, but parents have no idea what that means. They have no inkling. They just, just graduate medical school. It's just really easy. Go in, graduate, become a doctor. What's so hard? Just do it. Well, it's a little, it's a hard yes. Amen. Yes or no. Yeah. Doctors, yes. You're like, no, it was easy. All right. Right. But there's, there's, there's pressure grades, school prestige and degrees. They have no idea about social pressure. They have no idea about the football team and the cheerleaders and about prom, finding a date. You know, all these things. Parents are like, you just go to school, kumu and come out out. What? What? They have no idea about any of these other pressures. Number two, there's children. Adults do not. Adults do all the decision making. You don't have to do it, make any decisions. You just have to kuk and nothing else. And there's pressure there because we have to, we wanna make our own decisions in that process. And marriage. There is tension where I, we never actually, I never talked about with my parents about marriage, but they always assumed that they would have a say. And I always assumed that they would not have a say. That was, that was the assumption. Cause we never talked about assumption, assumption, assumption. And one day I brought a Korean, Korean girl home and I'm gonna marry her. And they're like . They weren't expecting that to happen. And then, and it did. There's tension between the marriage process and we talked about staying in the community. Their, their version of community is church. Church is defined as something that's not that spiritual. It's not language based and it's not religious. And there's, there's tension in how we define what church really is, because our version of church is a spiritual church. It is a religious ritual, and there is a language component to that. But for them, they don't believe in, they don't, they don't know that. And you see the meme here, we'll see Mr. Mr. Kim later on. Okay. There's pressures about being the minor model minority. We need to be smart and obedient. How many of you, how many of you by raising? I'll ask how many Were on the smarter half of your class. Okay. Okay. The rest of you were on the dumber. Half of the class. All right. So there's pressure there. Asian have been known to be the mo Have you heard of the term model minority? We usually don't, we, we don't get in trouble. We don't talk back to the teacher. We usually get good grades. We usually clean, we take a shower in the morning, that kind of stuff. There's internal pressure with us, especially Koreans. There is latent perfectionism in us. We always want to be the best, especially in Korean Adventist, conservative circles because of certain theologies perfectionism enters this and it gets a little bit kind of outta hand. And then we can talk about that and the history of that. And then understanding love. We talked about this with, with some, some people yesterday, they have the five love languages. Yeah. What are they? There's the, whatever the five are. Yeah. Koreans don't use the five. There is, there should be a separate book of the love languages. There's only one love language in Korea. It's called sacrifice. Right? And it's like how much, oh my God. He has two jobs and he wakes up at two in the morning. He goes to sleep at like one in the morning when he sleeps one hour. And you know, she made this keep out of like, you knows, making all this, you know, and she's cutting her fingernails, making the keep up all whatever makes you cry and whatever makes you just sacrifice. That is the love language. Yes. So this is what happens. Korean Americans have a hard time understanding the cross. It's, it's sacrifice overload, right? So sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. And you come to church and then Jesus died for you. I'm like, no, this is just too much sacrifice. And tangibly we understand the sacrifice of our parents because we see it intangibly. We have a hard time. I know we theoretically understand the cross. We get that Jesus died for our sins. But to really emotively identify with Jesus, dying for our cross dying. The guy in the cross. For us, it's a little, it's, it's, we have a different nexus of understanding than any other people. Okay? There's a pressure of theologically for us. And so we understand grace in a different way because of that. And they're un they're unspoken responsibility. And this is the last one. We'll take a break after this because we don't communicate directly. There is these other things that there may be expectations of us, but because it's not communicated, we don't know what they are. So there's this kind of latent anxiety of we don't know, but we gotta deal with. Namely, one thing is our parents dying. How do we go through that? How does that, how, how, how does the money will process now in, in, in, in western cultures, they sit down and talk Mom and dad, when you die, what do you want? Well, I want my money to go here. I want people to take care of this. We'll, ride a will, da da da. I did that with my mom and dad. Hey, mom and dad, when you die, how do you wanna take care of this? They want, no, okay. This is not going the way I expected it to go. I just wanna be prepared. I'm like, okay, but when you die, I can't talk to you because you're dead. So I just, I want to be respectful and this is not going respectful way. And it was a horrible discussion that we had, and we'll talk about ways in how to do that. But there, there, it's an, an unexpected responsibility and it's uns and we can't talk about it directly with them, even though they're mom and dad, we can't talk about it. Of the relationships. I'll mention this, the father son relationship is the most defined. And because it is, it's the most tension filled in Korean American cultures. And when we, and when, when the second generation has kids, often we reproduce that tension in the next generation. If we're not careful, we can. The mother, the the daughter relationship with mom and dad is undefined. And so often daughters don't have, they may have a little bit of awkwardness here and there, but it's a little bit more lubricated than the father-son relationship. And then the worst relationship is the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship because it's totally undefined in the Confucian de definition. When a mo, when a daughter gets married, she is cut out of her family and she enters into another family. And she, it's not my problem anymore kind of mentality. But we don't, we don't live in that kind of society anymore. So that relationship is totally undefined and we revert to k-pop or Krama or American culture to really fill the gaps. And when there's miscommunication, there can be some tension there. Okay? My understanding is when people have adopted American definition, the problems go away. But when one adopts American and one adopts Korean, or it's still undefined, you can get a lot of fireworks and very male melan kimchi as a result. So I hope this has helped you in some way. I would love to, we'll, to take a 10 minute break, we'll take a little bit of a q and a and we'll come back for our, our second half of, of the seminar. Is that okay, Tom? Yeah. Okay. Let's have a word of prayer together. Father and heaven this morning, we've talked about some very uniquely us issues. Father, help us to transcend that and not just ignore it and go, come above it. But even use these weaknesses. Maybe even consider it as a curse, Lord, that you change our curses into blessings. That you choose the weak things in this world, weak philosophies and weak cultures, and you make them a blessing to the world. Lord, we want to be part of our of, of your business, of changing that. So, Lord, we are in unique positions, so we ask for your blessing. Help us to understand these dynamics in the way that honors you and honors our parents and our communities and ourselves. We pray in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. This media was brought to you by Audio verse, a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon, audio, and much more. If you would like to know more about audio verse or if you would like to listen to more sermons, please visit www.audio verse.org.

Identity: From Culture to Christ

Parent Conference

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