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Disappointment, Depression, and Deliverance Part 2

K'dee Elsen

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K'dee Elsen

Clinical Psychologist, Co-Host of “The Brain People Podcast”

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Conference

Recorded

  • November 16, 2019
    3:30 PM
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There and the father Lord God I think you so much for this week and I thank you for the healing that you've already provided Lord I thank you for the healing that you continue to want to provide to us but I pray for your guidance I pray for your Holy Spirit to be present now in this room Lord even with all my training Lord I know that it's never enough to fully provide the needs of these individuals here in this room or it only you can and so Lord I pray that you may speak through me oh god speak directly Taylor every word to each person here today Lord I pray for their hearts that they may be open that they may be soft and to hear your words today but I know that we've gone through experiences I have heart in ourselves to people to to to your words and so I just pray that all there is May be removed that your the enemy be really far from this room and that you may be present in a very obvious and visible way I ask these things and use Name Amen. So this is part 2 to the previous seminar which Dean had just presented on depression disappointment and deliverance and of the reason why we wanted to do a part one in Part 2 is deeper scented a personal story as well as the perspective of kind of what we often think about the ministry perspective of if you're struggling kind of resources both in God's word claiming promises and then I'll be presenting a little bit more of the clinical side but I would like to say that they are not separate So when I was going through all my graduate school studies I had my textbooks in one hand and my Bible and the spirit of prophecy in another and that's because a lot of time psychology teaches that there are separate but they're not and I'm going to talk about that today I'll be coming from a cognitive behavioral therapy standpoint who here has heard of cognitive behavioral. Therapy Ok so kind of half of you guys it's pretty good so I'm going to explain what that is we're going to go into it but one of the questions earlier from the last breakout was you know the 1st thing of how do I even know that I might be struggling with depression so the skills of the me talking about is not only a pleasurable to depression it's also to anxiety and other mental health concerns but with depression specifically we talked about how sometimes there's a change in functioning sometimes do they one of the questions was well what if I've been struggling with this from a young age how do I know if I'm depressed or not and so we talked a little bit about their sleep changes there's appetite and when you go for the symptoms of depression there are some like there's no one size fits all if you guys learn anything about mental illness this weekend it's that no one size fits all meaning not everyone who's depressed has a similar presentation so some people might have some symptoms some people might have others those who struggle with it for a longer period of time often have not the change in functioning because they already have kind of lower functioning but they have a lot of these negative thoughts feelings of worthlessness feelings of hopelessness feelings of helplessness that are more chronic and so the skills that are to be taught are for bolls a mix of those who may be her having depression for the past couple weeks or even for those who've been struggling for a longer time what is really interesting about this seminar is I'm going to go through c.v.t. one hour which is quite difficult to do for the sake of Often I spend like 8 to 12 sessions with patients and still that sometimes is not enough but this is just an idea of like being an introduction to c.v.t. what it is and what you can start doing to help either yourself or take the skills and help a friend or a loved one that might be struggling with depression someone is going to jump right in what is c b t what is cognitive behavioral therapy. So cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the leading and most affective worldwide psychological treatments so c.v.t. if you've heard of it could be applied to depression could be applied to anxiety sleep even they have cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia if you have difficulties with sleep it's used for o.c.d. a lot of different mental health concerns and the reason why is it because it covers these 3 main components thoughts emotions and behaviors and we're going to go into each one. When I present this seminar and I typically do it over the course of a whole weekend so I just do what an hour or 2 on behaviors an hour to our thoughts and our to emotions but for the sake of time our country it all together so I included all my slides but I want this to be as a pleasurable as possible to each of you so I might skip some slides I might ignore some flies and I want us to be discussion based because I want this to be a placable again to each and every one of you so what that means is if you have any questions or comments in the middle police raise your hand speak up keep it brief as much as possible but again I want to make sure that this is something that you can leave here feeling like you have some tools in your toolbox to either for yourself or for others so we're going to go through an example of what is c b t you'll notice here in the picture of thoughts feelings and behaviors and one thing that you notice this is often presented in a triangle because what happens if you switch a triangle a need either side. It stays the triangle right and the thing is that thoughts behaviors and emotions are all linked it's not if one is more important the other they're all linked so we're going to give you an example here of how they're leant so here's the situation David and Jack both receipt poor grades on a math test I'm sure this never happens to anyone here at p.m.a. you guys get excellent grades but they both receive bad grades on a math test and we're going to compare Jack's response and David's response Ok So Jack has the thought I'm so stupid if I was smart like Michael I would have passed Is this a positive or negative thought negative right so Jack has this negative thought what do you think might be his feelings as a result of this thought happy maybe anxious or sad right he says I'm so stupid so he 1st has a thought and then he has the emotion maybe feeling depressed and then what you think might be a behavior that results out of this maybe he stops eating so here's an example and says that Jack decided to stop studying for the next test why because he said I'm so stupid I'm going to fail even if I try so you see how I thought a negative thought that I'm so stupid that impacts his emotions he starts feeling sad or depressed which then impacts his behaviors Now let's see how David reacts to his poor grade each that he thinks Wow I definitely underestimated this test I should have studied more is this a positive or negative. Kind of more positive a little bit more realistic right he says oh I've been are estimated this test what do you think might be his feelings. What was up. So that's more of a thought that's not a feeling thinking I'm going to try more a feeling might be disappointed right but confident that he will be able to try on his next test so you see the behavior then David and decisive begin study. So you notice they both have the exact situation. But they had different thoughts about the situation one had a negative thought of I'm so stupid which resulted in also a not so helpful behavior right he stops setting versus someone has a more realistic or positive thought which then leads to and motion that's realistic disappointed but that encourages him to study more a positive and healthy behavior does that make sense because if this doesn't make sense the rest of it won't so does everyone here understand the connection between thoughts emotions and behaviors. So that it doesn't always go in this order sometimes your behavior can impact your thoughts that impacts your emotions so for instance of what's a healthy behavior exercise let's say I engage in the behavior exercise what might I feel happy feel better. Feeling happy and then you might have thoughts that are more positive so you can start with a behavior you can start with a thought the all kind of again are connected any questions about this because again if you don't get it now you won't get the rest of this presentation so either ask now or forever hold your peace. Ok so they're all connected and you'll notice that the goal of the bt is to teach us that while we cannot control every aspect of our world can we know right we cannot control our world we cannot control how we interpret and deal with what happens to us so for instance they both failed and although they couldn't change the outcome at that time they could control how they thought how they felt and what was their behavior doesn't make sense Ok. So c.v.t. you say you know how can I do c b t without a therapist today the goal of today is to make sure that you all become c.v.t. therapist No just kidding you cannot because you see if you therapist but you will have the tools to be able to start engaging in c.t. one of my main goals as a therapist is not for patients to rely on me I want to empower them to have the tools that basically I tell them I want to go out of business I don't want to have a job in mental health meaning that people can have the tools necessary to do these things at home and was beautiful about c.v.t. is that you guys have the best of their pets not me I'm not your therapist you have and Isaiah 96 is says you have a wonderful counsellor and what you guys don't realize is there's beautiful truth in God's Word that are actually psychological principles everything I study in c.t.m. life that sounds familiar and it comes from the word so I'm going to be integrating some things from God's word into today's presentation so that you see that you are not alone and then you have a c.v.t. therapist God and you also have a manual which God gave to us through His word did you guys know that c b t's founded in the Bible you'll see here in his decisions for 22 and 23 would anyone like to read this for us. So this verse is talking about the 3 of them right we just talked about behaviors emotions and thoughts and how we need to put off our old behaviors behaviors that are not healthy behaviors that are maladaptive which are often impacted by our emotions and then says and that we can make new through the renewing of our mind in crisis e b t is founded in the Bible so we're going to jump into behaviors Ok so focusing on behaviors here I put the Nike sign because what's a motto or logo just do it that is so up likable to behaviors and the reason as to why it is often with behaviors especially with depression you don't feel like doing anything sometimes with depression you may want to get out of a bet and the thing that's interesting about behaviors is a lot of people wait until they feel better to start doing something what happens if you wait until you feel like you want to do something you won't do it right a lot of times we go into work because we have to or we come to school because we have to but if we wait until we wanted to no one would be in school no one would be at work and the reason why we engage in behaviors why we intervene with the behaviors is because there's a link between our behaviors and our brain chemicals so a lot of individual when you go to see somebody for concern for depression a lot of times the 1st line of treatment we talked about this last night is what does anyone know what the 1st line of treatment typically. Medication and this is behind the idea that there are your brain chemicals are off and so if my brain chemicals are off I need to put them back on I need to really kind of stabilize my mood but what we don't really recognize is that there are also other interventions that can also impact our brain chemicals and those are behaviors that we can gauge and for example talk a little bit later actually say that for later when you notice that we have different praying brain chemicals here quarter's soul Sara tone and double mean indoor friends noradrenaline several and I'm not going to go into that even though it's fascinating and I could talk hours about that but this is behind the idea that if you change your behavior you can change your chemicals. And so changing your mood can then also change your overall wellbeing so when patients come in to me one of the 1st things that we do is we work on behaviors and that's because a lot of times with depression you can even start working on your thoughts thoughts hard work really hard work to change your thoughts because you're so depressed and so the number one 1st treatment for depression is what we call behavioral activation we just got to get you to start doing things in the very beginning Dee had mentioned about you know what really helped him is staying engaged in ministry and so he kind of had this behavioral act activation already going for him but many people they can even start doing things their dishes start piling up in their house their cars their house is dirty because they can get themselves to start doing their responsibilities and so the 1st step to intervene is behaviors but sometimes we don't recognize that we're already in gauging behaviors that are not so healthy that are not so helpful and often we talk about these as self medication when I'm not feeling good whether I'm depressed may have had a history of trauma whatever it may be are automatic responses to start trying to fix ourself if you think about Adam and Eve in the garden when they send what was the 1st thing that they did or one of the 1st things that they did. They try to cover themselves right with the fig leaf they try to fix themselves it is our natural inclination to start fixing ourselves and so we self medicate and for each individual that Neela different do you see here different ones of drugs videogames it could be a host of different things even ministry can often be used as a way of being addicted to ministry to hide from our own pain and so if we're ever using it to be any good thing right eating is eating good. But if you use it in order to numb your pain or too high from your brokenness you can take a good thing and make it bad meaning that you can often sir overeating you can start eating comfort foods eating a lot of sugar a lot of us Adventists we talk about no meat then we're addicted to sugar so this idea that are we using anything whether bad or good to numb our pain instead of addressing the real pain and so we can engage in negative behaviors and so the question is how do I start changing my behaviors where do I begin and this I'm going to go through quite quickly but you want to 1st start off by increasing positive activities so often people think oh I need to stop doing you know whatever I'm addicted to and sometimes that's hard that can be a journey and so I always encourage my patients to start off by increasing positive activities and so how I do this I often just have them create a list and so your stomach activities exercise having a good diet has anyone here ever done a gratitude journal Ok a couple so gratitude journal is writing down things that you're grateful for but what I like to do is my patients as I have them write down 3 things every single day when you're like oh that's easy How's that really going to help your mental health the thing in 3 different things every single day and so often we praise the Thank You Lord for my family but you say today thank you tomorrow you can pray for your family. So thinking every single day 3 different things and research has shown when you do this your brain chemicals and your brain structure changes the thing with depression is that we often start seeing the world in a very dark light and so it's even hard to be grateful for the things that you know are blessings in your life and so you have to kind of rewire your brain to start thinking differently and so you have to force yourself in some way to start actively looking for the good in your life so if anyone here is feeling a little down or depressed one of the one things are very easy can start doing it every single day 3 different things that you're grateful for but again if you pray today for your family or you say thank you today tomorrow you can see your family so trick to that is today might be my brother to my Tomorrow might be my sister but again what that does is you're to retrain your brain to focus on the details of your life I work with patients that are chronically ill and often terminally ill and they say Katie I have nothing to be grateful for and then I look at their feet and I say it only looks like you've got 10 toes and I said Ok today you can be grateful for your big toe tomorrow for your other toe because toes are important but when are you with me about that we always have something to be grateful for the thing is with depression often the double again we talk about how he's a father of all life comes and whispers to you have nothing in your life your life is dark but one way to start retraining your brain is to start looking for those things that are positive we also talked about just to go quickly back to die and die is so important we talked about how 50 percent of anxiety or depressive symptoms can be reduced by diet alone the the brain chemical that we refer to Sarah tone in 95 percent of our serotonin is actually found in our gut. So what we eat they say that our gut is like the 2nd brain so what we eat actually impacts how we feel it's not just about healthy eating but the brain chemicals are also in your gut and so we want to make sure that what we're eating what we're doing starts helping us feel better as well there's also personal activities so often I have patients who like why don't even know what to do it can be anything really learning a new language it could be learning how to cook it could be baking but increasing the amount of positive activities in your life depression for sucking all those activity who you lose interest in the things that you once used to do if anyone here's like I lost interest in those things I try to do it again and I can try something else try a new hobby but one of the things that's most powerful is not just doing any positive activity but something that has purpose or meaning my sister here earlier shared how she was engaged in ministry and then you have to take a back seat for your children and a lot of times when we do that and I'm sure it's a blessing to focus on your children but lacking purpose or meaning in your life significantly cause leads to more depressive symptoms and so even if you're retired that's a huge one of my one of the things I see most especially veterans is they often when they come back from war they don't have that sense of meaning or purpose anymore they're fighting for their country for their family for themselves for their comrades and then they come back and they feel useless and depressions are to seep in and so if you don't have a purpose in your life you have to ask God for that purpose because without purpose depression will definitely see deeper and deeper music music has a powerful impact on your behavior both for good and for bad so when I'm talking about anxiety I often recommend people to be careful what they listen to because if you know that what you listen to your heartbeat sinks with what you listen to Do you know that and so often people say. Like oh I'm so anxious and their heart rate going up on the moment and they're listening to music words like the beats going global loom and all the students probably say like oh no she told me not to listen to that type of music I am telling you not to listen to that kind of music because it has a negative impact on your physical health and on your mental health does anyone know what type of music is best for our mental health Oh nice resoundingly choir here classical and Hindu fall into that classical realm some of you students might be thinking like oh is she talking about that I like that music so I used to like that music as well and you say like I never like classical God changes your desires when you're obedient to Him So God changed mine and he can change yours too because it's important for your mental health deep breathing Who here has heard of deep dive for Matic breathing Ok not to many of you so deep breathing Ellen White actually talks a lot about this but has a powerful impact on your mental health so we're going to just do a quick exercise is probably taking longer than I should but it's important to teach this to all my patients Ok put your hand on your chest and one on your belly. And just take a deep like a quick breath deep breath in which hand to move more the one on your chest or the one on your belly. Chasse I hear mix by looking at you all mostly your chats and that's because when we'd breeze we typically do it with our checks but you notice that with our chest is very limited. Right when we use our diaphragm are there from is a muscle at the bottom right here where when you use it pushes out your lungs so that your lungs can fill with even more air so what deep breathing does it take Sachs into the parts of your brain that are the motional centers whether you're feeling depressed or anxious and takes off it into those parts as well as slows down your heart rate as other many many beneficial effects on your mental health and on your physical health and so if anyone here has sleep difficulties as well doing deep breathing before you sleep has been shown to also to help you fall fast asleep more quickly as well as a deeper sleep and deeper quality so deep breathing connection with God in connection with others which we've talked about I'm going to skip these kind of what I've already talked about. And then the 2nd step is replacing negative experiences so making sure that if there's anything negative in your life any negative behavior that's not helpful to start kind of taking those out I love this little picture because it kind of talks about our human experience and says What if we don't change at all and something magical just happens and I think sometimes we have that mentality in the church of I have this depression and I'm just hoping that magically God will show it away and God has that power but God hears you and cares for you enough that he want to give you tools that you can collaborate with him in order to have victory so if you're struggling with depression and you don't know where to start this is what I give to my patients it's a list that you can start making of all the different activities that you're thinking about doing but the thing is you notice there that there's 2 columns one for reward and one for easiness and the reason why is like let's say I work at a low income community and they say oh I would love to go for a walk and feeling depressed and I would love to go for a walk reward I get a 10 out of 10 I feel so great but then we live in a very very unsafe neighborhood and so easy ness is like a 2 and the thing with depression you don't have motivation to do anything so if it's too hard you're not going to do it so what you have to do is you have to write down activities and then figure out what has the the highest reward and what's easiest to do does that make sense because if it's too hard you won't do it if it doesn't have enough reward it's not motivating enough to want to do it so you create a list and you break all these behaviors and you say Ok the one that has a high of ease and the high for Ward that's what I'm going to start doing 1st make sense any questions this is one of the most effective tools for my patients with depression. Then you set goals and the thing about goals is you have to make it achievable to you so for instance if you are depressed and you're struggling with cleaning your dishes you're not going to say Ok I have 100 dishes right now I have to go do that because again your depression won't allow you to do that so one goal might be what's achieve all to be achievable to meet is one dish today you're going to say that's a little Katie that's that's not enough but one dish is more than 0 dishes and let's say you say no I can do 5 so you do 5 and as you do you start changing your behavior in a way that you are feeling better so I always tell people but it depends on where you're at so if you're somebody that's never run in your life I'm not going to tell you go run 5 miles today right that is not achievable for you but let's say you have ran multiple marathons and you say I'm going to run 5 miles that might be too little for you so again it's dependent on where you're x. But the thing is you have to find something that's achievable for you and what's important you see there on the bottom says Action is the 1st step not motivation so just act Ok so we're going to view Montu thoughts so fots behavior is the most effective and in just stabilizing your mood but thoughts is important for long term change you can change your behaviors as much as you want and start feeling better but if you want long term change you have to change your thoughts and so you see this in the Bible where it says watch over your heart your mind with all diligence with all diligence why because from it flows the springs of like everything proceeds from your thoughts and so the Bible says to be transformed how by the renewing of your mind and so I'm going to skip this I love this quote because it says the importance of the thoughts watch your thoughts because they become. Words watch your words they become watch your actions they become watch your habits they become watch your character it becomes your destiny so your thoughts become your destiny and destiny so we engage in the what I like to call for my patients thinking thinking we'll talk and say oh you're doing it again your stinking thinking because we engage in these very negative thoughts and we talked about how the source of those thoughts of negative lies is that evil ones our enemies and sometimes we get that from media from family from friends but we need to change our spots so kind of like the example before when we have a negative thought that leads to negative emotions and also behaviors and so one of the things I teach my patients if you have negative thoughts is with what we call a c.v.t. thought record has anyone seen this before Ok one person great. So in order to change your thoughts you 1st have to recognize what your thoughts are right sometimes they're just zoom in in our head and we don't know what they are but it's important that we start writing them down so this is a log where you write down your thoughts you write down the situation so situation is. Katie said something and then you had emotion you're angry that she said that as in you write down your negative automatic thought of oh I can't believe she's judging me or can't believe whatever the negative thought is she write it down and then what you do this is what I love about c.v.t. thought records is you have to find the evidence that supports outfought and what doesn't support that talk so for an example of. What You Can anyone give me a negative response more than a. I'm no good good I mean good example not that you're no good. So I'm no good that's a negative thought so the exercise would be what is the evidence that supports that yet so you say my father told me I'm no good that's evidence Ok you write it down you might say also the evidence is because I just lost my job evidence but then you have to go to the other side was the evidence that doesn't support that and that's the part that's really hard for those who are depressed because often where we could find anything negative but it's hard to find the evidence so you might say well what what's the evidence Well I'm actually all I've lost my job actually because they were just firing they couldn't pay the staff So that's evidence I they told me they gave me a good review that's evidence and the purpose of this is because often when we gauge a negative thoughts those negative thoughts are irrational right they don't have they're not they're not balanced and so I like to think about this as if you're putting your thought on trial and giving it a fair trial saying I'm going to put this on trial and I'm going to see what the evidence supports and what's evidence again so even this applies to negative thoughts about other people I can believe so and so is doing that there so whatever well with the evidence that they're actually like that and with the evidence that doesn't support that maybe you're struggling a relationship and you have was negative thoughts about that person was the evidence to support them with evidence that's again and the reason why you do this is it's not people say oh you've got to think force positively that's a lie you don't think positively because what happens is if you think too positively something happens and then you're like you know you're just devastated it's not about being more positively It's all thinking more realistically. So with depressed patients it's not that they're thinking realistically they're thinking overly negative and so you need to find a way to balance your thoughts by looking at the evidence that supports and then again so questions to help you in trying to change your thoughts you ask what is the evidence you can ask Are there alternative explanations to the situation I'm thinking that's person's reacting this way those are there alternative explanations if you're thinking the worst about a scenario that might help you can say like well what's the worst and I blowing this out of proportion could I live through it what's the best thing that could happen right looking at the best and the worst and sometimes when it's hard to challenge your own fog one of the most effective questions is to say well what would a friend tell me in this situation let's say you're trying to battle the thought I'm no good and you're struggling with finding evidence you can ask somebody saying like you know I'm struggling with this lie from the enemy what what do you have to say they're going to say Are you kidding me you're no good no these are the reasons why you have so much value and this also applies to God's work when you cannot find evidence against your negative thought there's plenty of it in the word so for instance I have my patients when they're anxious haven't quote scripture because they can't even change their own thoughts so they just have to say like God I claim Philippians 467 and says Be anxious for nothing another one's like Castle your cares for he cares for you right so quoting scripture can often help you change your thoughts and ask yourself Is it a true thought is Am I blowing this out of proportion does it honor God What's the origin is it uplifting Is it helpful if it's not helpful if it's not a blessing if it's not true you have to let it go or you have to change your thoughts because if you don't those negative thoughts what we talked about remember those thoughts will lead to ultimately your destiny. And that's why the Bible recommends that we set our minds on things above and not on things of this or so emotions quickly because we have like 10 minutes a lot of emotions I love talking about emotions because most of us think that emotions are bad the church teaches it sometimes even mental health professionals teach it but I'm here to tell you that the Bible says something not some are going to look at it so sometimes they quote this in order to say motions are bad it says the heart is a see people above all things and desperately wicked who could understand how many of you have heard this to be use that emotions are bad you can't trust your feelings. And cry there's another one it says a fool gives full vent to his spirit we see motions are bad but you notice there is a butt but a white man quietly holding back is that saying that we shouldn't express our emotions so what does the Bible really say the Bible recognizes that emotions are natural Ecclesiastes is $34.00 to $6.00 says you know there's a time to weep a time Kulap a time to mourn a time to dance. It also says that the money the Bible says that there are good emotions a joyful heart is good medicine right you are all to see that baby not my niece I should put a picture of her but it brings joy. And the Bible points out that there are also home called bad emotions but it's not really bad emotions it's depending on how we express them so listen carefully these are great examples if regions 42627 says be angry and. Do not sin that saying that you could be angry and not sin it says Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil can you be angry and that's not a sin look at proverbs 1518 says a hot tempered man stirs up strife but. He who is slow to anger quiet contention so what these verses are saying it's not that the motions are bad it's how you manage them so emotions are natural and good but it depends on how we manage or communicate them so I'm going to give you examples of how people often struggle with what we call emotional regulation where they cannot regulate their emotions so in order to be able to effectively manage you have to 1st identify your emotions so here's just a list of different emotions what's actually interesting is that I'd ask people for motions and they're like oh we have this example earlier and it's a thought we're really bad at identifying your emotions let me ask you guys how do you know when you're happy smile it's more like a behavior what do you feel right we don't identify or motion you notice that it's actually a warm mist often sometimes in your chest sometimes it's a heaviness in your face what about sadness how do you know you when you're sad you cry behavior how do you feel sad sometimes you feel it in your throat right we're really bad at identifying emotions angry spur dangerous probably the one that's most common how do you know you're angry you feel it you know you feel it already feel it often it you start you know 10000 of you feel hot you actually feel hot right so I love this picture it's actually very fascinating they did body scans of individuals experiencing different emotions and you notice that depending on what emotion it is you feel it in different locations and you feel different intensities so the yellow and the red the yellows the highest intensity of emotion at then blue and light blue is like no feeling so one thing you notice neutral there are not experiencing any emotion right block but what do you notice about depression. It's pretty cold. And not just called the Word you where in most What are the parts that are called the lemon often people are depressed express that they feel numb and that's because they do they're not feeling a warmness they're not experiencing that in their body what do you notice about invitees. It's in the chest when people often experience anxiety to say oh I fall for some they go to the e.r. because they think they're having a heart attack because it's all concentrated here they say Oh my heart's pumping fast I have a tightness in my chest What do you notice about pride. They're full of themselves a vulgar head. Their head on their chest. Let's see here happiness what do you notice about happiness. It's everywhere it's everywhere when you feel happy often you don't recognize what you're feeling because there's a warmth in your whole body. And so I want to mention this because not only the fascinating but the better that we are at identifying our emotions the more the better we are at managing them a lot of times for instance with anger management problems it's because they don't recognize that they're angry their anger goes from 0 to $100.00 and so the 1st step of record of regulating your emotions is just identifying them and I'm running out of time here so just to kind of give you an overview of cycles of emotion most people they don't reckon they deny with their experience in the suppress suppress suppress their emotions that's number one problem of depression anxiety and other mental illness used or your emotions you dismiss them you suppress them what happens when you shake a photo bottle. And then you open explodes that's what happens with people when you suppress your emotions you explode you spot on people all of a sudden you're saying I don't know why I'm crying so much is because you're not allowing your body to naturally express those emotions emotions were given to us by God to give us signals into our environment if I'm feeling of a bear walks in here right now and I feel anxiety is anxiety good really good because that motivates me to run and make sure that everyone runs with me right. But if let's say I say Oh no I don't like that anxiety and I'm going or it we suppress our emotions and that leads to unhealthy dumping on others sometimes we dump on the mode on others or we explode on others but healthy a motional regulation is 1st recognizing your emotion I am feeling sad right now accepting the motion releasing expressing if I'm feeling sad I need to cry I need to talk to someone about I need to release So an example of this I was going through a difficult breakable while ago and I was really busy and saw suppressing all my emotions suppressing suppressing and I came to a point where I like finally I was like God I can't keep on living like this and I laid across the carpet and I was like God and I was crying out to God knows I started to cry and all of a sudden this may be too much information but I ran to the Russian and he started to vomit and the reason why is because I had suppressed my emotions for so long our body naturally needs needs to release and express our emotion and when it doesn't it turns to some magic or physical symptoms and so it is important to regulate your emotions. Suicide often I've mentioned this before it's not really a decision in the sense of I want to take my life it has to do a lot with overwhelming pain and that's often because we suppress we suppress and we don't deal with the motions that are coming up and so I like this it says feelings are much like waves we can't stop them from coming but we can choose to ride which wave right to accept the motions Xpress them and that way your emotion can come down so in summary emotions are good and they tell us they give us information about what we should do and how we should respond to our environment if someone makes me angry I don't suppress that anger I say God like what about that situation has made me angry what do I need to do often we say we suppress and say like all you know I'm just going to ignore and then that anger builds and that bill and sometimes you get passive aggressive with others a lot of problems within the church because we're suppressing our emotions and we're not expressing we're not being honest we're not being vulnerable but God is calling us to express emotions to find out for 15 or 4300 I 30 minutes. Oh this is fantastic. Ok well that was a whirlwind The fought the motions and behaviors I'm going to open it up to questions and I 1st want the question to be application base and he's an information that I just presented I want you guys to ask is there any question of how do I apply this to my life if you're struggling with depression or any sort of mental health concerns. I mean the 1st step is coming to God and saying God Like what do I need to do so. Let me give an example for if anyone struggling with kind of severe depression the 1st I was like I definitely need to do behaviors I need to start doing something small and so making a plan for tomorrow what am I going to do tomorrow to start kind of fighting this depression. If let's say you're saying you know I'm doing a lot I'm functioning very well been making a plan of like I need to actively battle my thoughts my thoughts are extremely negative and then working on the thoughts so thinking and reflecting on for yourself which area you might say I'm struggling with behaviors thoughts and emotions some might say I'm struggling more with emotions I find myself extremely emotional every single day or I feel completely numb so thinking about which area you need to kind of tackle it making a plan definitely. Thank you everyone that hopefully this was helpful I know it's a whirlwind we went through a lot but I'm going to skin to close with a word of prayer city good ol barrier has with me going to pray bless you Ok let's pray there is a Father God in heaven Lord we thank you for what you've done this weekend thus far and what you promise to continue to do Lord I thank you for the honesty in this room for those who have asked personal questions and have opened up Lord seeking answers and seeking wisdom or you know there's answers that I can all give and so Lord I pray that those answers that may still linger in their hearts as they go back to their doors or back to their homes later this evening or that they may be able to come before you asking you Lord in that we know that you are God They give liberally to those who ask and floored me we come to you as our ultimate c.v.t. therapists Lord Help us Lord give us the ability to utilize these tools in our day to day or to help others with these things as well I pray for fresh value your Holy Spirit now as we continue to delve into you are closing for the well beyond the things he's a man this media was brought to you by audio version a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio version or if you would like to listen to more servant leader visit w w w dot audio Verse dot org.

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