Favorite Sermon Add to Playlist
Photo of Shelvan Arunan

God Gifted Sex

Shelvan Arunan

Recorded

  • October 5, 2019
    10:30 AM
Logo of Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)

Copyright ©2019 AudioVerse.

Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US) license.

The ideas in this recording are those of its contributors and may not necessarily reflect the views of AudioVerse.

SPONSORED

Audio Downloads

This transcript may be automatically generated

This media has been censored by the merely menacing. And encouraged characters pranced more information these days it in the West. But I wish we had time our little bit. Take time to tell it and we've got and that's one good new not the best present tension star that people who listen when reading the news and get to know each other but we don't have to say I just how one I like so you may let me go through the title God gives us. Why then the confusion that is the title be had so all. My 1st thing is why I don't really helpful much of misunderstanding and conceit in a box that one of the genius that really learned. From our family I was cool George so so I think and friends and so on this is the way I mean it but of course we learned from various of the sources. That here. The opinion. Of the 6 is mysterious and it is not a super farm. So we white dog in our family. I hope it will work for me. Ok there. Are race. And what are you in magazines and t.v. news something that is very mysterious. And it is something very sensible and it's very succinctly now and we are becoming very curious because of that and I'm listening to is that we also have a cause and not a mental understanding how one of warning works how a psychological mind works how to stick to and secure mind what we are sexual beings we are shorter being we also ritual being because God created as a whole. Not just one Apoc Sometimes we think of the spirituality as the only thing God created us no we are no more mean God has created us to enjoy and have fun in this work at the same time glorify Him in our way of living so because of this misunderstanding people believe sex is a sin and it is a good thing it is a consequence of saying. I'm going to like I introduce myself as I go by you will understand that they'll let me off. The sex is not. In our and I always tell people are having a knife in the house is not a sin and is not dangerous because I have at least someone on a knife so it is not a sin it is not dangerous can it be dangerous can we do evil is all I have and how do you know God has gifted us with the gift of sex but how we use is the issue that is we are seeing this so many of the 1st thing that we all have to understand is the sex. All the information we have gathered about the sexual relationship I'll clear the confusion. Negative sexual etiquette. You know all the information we have gathered when did we have with our pastor we talked about. Is it a good thing our mother and father will do. So sex is always a learned behavior this is one of the very important word in psychology here we are learning you know I like what car said this morning you know we learn to brush our teeth we learn to tire was short Who taught you how to have sex your father or mother. But sex is a learned behavior we learned in the wrong place at the wrong time from the wrong people so we do it wrongly. It's a learned behavior so it is a very very important to know sex is allowed behavior the marriage because of that you and I have is our enemy Ok now you are seeing a lot of animals here now if I say it elephant to use I see a lion you see a lion right there but if I say elephant can you see elephant in your mind. It is not there we all think not in words in pictures. That is that recent Microsoft has. You see we all think in pictures. So what is the picture you have about 6 that if you get that picture is the key so when you are in ward with sexuality with your girlfriend with your fiancee with your wife one witness that picture this of one of these going if the picture is a wrong picture in your mind and your learned around behavior you have a. Way of doing it you're going to do it thinking it is the likely thinking that is the right way. So there is good things in psychology one is a conscious what is unconscious consciousness you love that you are doing the right thing or on thing I'm conscious. That you are doing right. It is right there so you know returned all these are the only life and you became very unconscious within yourself it automatically comes that is really as a success I mean I. Thought. I had a client. In the family got about 6. That they don't allow the other people to get in were in sexual or conversation if they do they punish and I am as a family therapist myself as a clinical psychologist myself when we have adolescent or young people problem we bring the family together you know and we toward our son cannot talk about the sex he keep talking. I want you to tell him not to talk about it. So well they are will put something about that in our mind. But then what can we expect. And you know I don't have grandchildren big enough I have just one grandchild is 5 months old but I had a son and a garden you know. I remember that if I sing something I have been got a free there for the Sabbath you are not supposed to eat that ice cream for the sky but what they want to do. Well they just want to open that is when you have that put their finger. On. It is habit I am ready for it then you to go around come again. Is there is a paradoxical effect the has a curiosity in it so our souls are on your have to take that responsibility. That we have been misled or are we are misleading our children not because we are misled in the past by a good many things are up there and some are society we don't know how to lead our children we are leaving them so it's very very important to understand the concept. At the same time that feeling of guilt is awake and because of this and there is. The gift of sexuality cannot be seen and understood so because of this this understanding is already created within us but that we add are so young. That there is are really a feeling of guilt when you're doing it or when you're thinking about it and it creates variance. And. So there is by pick a shinier I guess you have difficulty in breathing and you want to hide yourself and you don't want to part about it and then you want to build up stories. So in other words. Not really that we can believe or accept sex as a gift but also our perception of this talk. Section. So it is very very important to understand I already talked about this there is a paradoxical effect I get with the ice cream and I liked it so the sexual image is loud and clear it comes from a lot Holmes it comes from how a whole. Darker learns a great deal about women and sexualized looking biopsy holding her mother why do I talk about my mother and doctor when we have many conference it is very very important because the other partner in sexuality is a woman. So she learns from her mother but that's sexist. And satisfying O'Berg to be in the work force she learns it is a male conspiracy to be a white god and it is do it or not except in 6 months or what I have a young lady 27 years old as he's a pastor by the way from around the church and she's going to the mentorship under me I teach. People in pastoral counseling and it's one of my support and she came and said. Look I don't I have a problem that my marriage I'm only married 6 months. My husband I had never had sex our last 6 months I never had last night I'm thinking of you watching him. Now this man has had that experience in his home with his father and mother. And that's learned that the man. They're gonna is dirty and should not act and that is what you just learned so you get she was going to get there difficult coming closer to her but she was he wants to be in the marriage. And he's a little m.b.a. and he works for the government makes good money but he cannot you can't have it because of what he has learned from that so it's really it's important for us to understand that we learned last things from our mothers and our the men have absorbed their mother's other females in the other homes. And saw that uses the mother as a sexual object all expressed his love and I think chin publicly in a forms where the father has difficulty expressing emotion. And the children grow up with the experience difficult to explain them sexually so if you don't have the children are being hugged and kissed and shorn lull and I think Chen they grew up in difficult. Showing that my daughter when she. Meant to Wisconsin Akademi to study. Their heart my son had a hard time now she's married and have a child the other day I was talking to her and I ask because he has a son now I'm just putting tart that they somehow the Son has to go get me to school and you know 2nd hour of that I'm getting that subject into her mind I said I asked her what was the good thing that you found when you went to the concert for this incident one of the difficult thing that I missed in this. From you and. You guys are always had. And it was very hard to get up and not to see your face get the hug and smile and see that it is very very important that the relationship is the foundation of this Janet. Listenership. Relationship with one another that is the only 2 commandment God. Now we'll got all you need that your neighbor is one who is in need your wife and your children if we have to do what you have to we are one family if you let that. Their little concept. So it is very important that sometimes we are misled and that we need to. Learn these things there are so consistently so are so poor parents and I listened listenership defined us and perception of little one must support Also most of the lesson sit with their parents associate with that higher likelihood of engaging in sexual behavior at an early age so people have not had this experience and they have a natural inclination for now they want to speak it. About 10 years ago I was in Ohio conference working there at a family came as an Adventist family they love lived next to each other when they came from their work. Usually that's the time for parents to come the children knew exactly what time they come so everything's neat and clean their good wives and. I know about Mike's children too when they were young enough to go to what the t.v. is on the net but I mean everything is going and if he was not there with the box still I'm not. So this parent Intel something happened in the world one of the parents came home. Opened the door to girls and 2 boys next door brothers and sisters in this family and that's really troubling having. His own sister the next door sister having their into all that in us experience sexual behavior. They fell apart if a part they don't want to go how did they learn how to Dylan because the parents are doing it publicly. They're watching t.v. sexual. Children saw that and when they are not there watching it too playing this is that so now the issue is the children have directly not experience it now suddenly they get in what they feel a connection with each other they want to do it more that's how it happens everything something that we want to do we do it in the wrong way we end up in trouble got us you want to vomit and love and connection within us but it has to be used in a healthy way not in a unhealthy way this is looking learn to eat healthy. Pray and pray in a healthy way brain healthy way so it is a very really important what God has you want to us that we use it of course I will talk a little bit about how that has destroyed our. Thinking and the way that we do things. And next one is actually it is the basic check through our little is the part of our true. They are one with it it is given to them by God. And so trial to be were ups and changes throughout their life from the time of their beginning now I have a 5 month and. My grandson and it's funny that for months we didn't have any problems now he's going into 5 fire and of months and he's talking and he's touching its legs and when you are killing you and I pray he is talking is. Yeah he's touching and. Actually mother says no no no I said Don't say that. I don't. See how you are going to tell you it's wrong. There's something wrong in it you know he said no no no no. He didn't even hear the word yet. As he doesn't address. If you did. So it's really really important that they really are becoming feeling comfortable with with their sexuality and sexual identity sex until college children they're one of mine and we need to understand that it is a very very important to understand that now having said that the Flip the other side did you have that kind of childhood If not you probably have the villain. And did your wife had a girlfriend then you have things like this is what dating is so important even though dating has become. Kind of confused and distorted their thing is about learning about it tell us a little about the votes of how to have a good family is very very important and I have one I have 3 waiting here I just finished one I can you imagine if I don't come to you oh our previous person never conflict you just married or you don't have kind for Rick so I don't have to marry you that. I told you I don't have time to. Think. Ok we'll come back and answer your question when I for Christmas and they can let me come back and take some questions of that so when we are certain feeling confident with our sexuality and sexual identity so essential to our child's healthy development so like I said my son I don't need to become neck appeal to what my grandsons needs are you need to become uncomfortable about their sexuality because when you are become uncomfortable in the sexuality you think everybody else has to be uncomfortable and you're going to make the man. Is it I think so when I 1st joined about 30 years ago they also used the very 1st time took me to Ohio for my training and Chaplain training where I really are my psychological supply so look at me said and after 6 months he said adamant you have a strong accent. And you need to work on that and I said you're not going to survive in the United States so I said Ok so they gave me a person to go and all that stuff so I went there and they tried to teach me I went to Google search and so they are trying to teach me I become very uncomfortable you know so I had I also supposed to have another supply side as a mental psychologist and I went to him and talked about and he said embrace who you are be who you are you don't need to change. Again. So I kept myself with my x. and still I got laid off 3 times because I'm good and they told me because of that and I took it and I think the Lord has never let me down you know. You know you never let me down so it is me becoming comfortable or mean it is not I am exposing myself being comfortable emotionally spiritually psychologically it is and he wouldn't buy gawked. Things even for your children's belief an expectation about sex and sexuality is not influenced by that person or experience bringing religious and cultural background that is what I have been talking to you are this time so this experience they have all I have gathered from the community and the t.v. and other people and the movies now I merely came from a Hindu family I can work and when I was 20 years my father was a film producer in my country well to go very nice man get a Ph d. from Oxford University my wife my mother wasn't she has only high school but I have never seen them hugging or kissing. Their Hindu they don't do it the culture doesn't allow their only work for hand publicly they don't sit together they were talked about. So I grew up not knowing anything I was ignorant and this after coming to this country only I learned things I came and I was sort of 3 years old I am and I'm 60 so I learn a lot of things in this country so ramp up like that that is the thought. And it is the other part. The other problem that we have sexuality is. The family are supposed to finish I will be mindful of that and $25.00 essential sexual events in our family didn't happen while I stationed prep these traumatic events affects one's perception and attitude they are of course a joint work but something happened in our family or something happened in the community and some community very often it happens are now we have give me it brings up everything that happened all over the place. That 3 it's something in. The comics things so it's all used as a negative impression are the time and it becomes an issue when it comes. So the inference of the religion and that George I was talking about the success of God given gift and teaching healthy sexual behavior we don't start we don't even talk about we don't on this class we don't want to do it and then there are different cultures and different way of doing things there are probably only teach us to keep us pure and not to get in warding sex that is the only no no no my garden no no no we always say not because it's come from the can command and you know I shall not I shall not I shall not run that we have not learned what God gave us in a precise manner for us to think and explore in a higher level but as God is saying we never understood that so. There are still the sex as it is consequence of because of this the theology of. That. Sex I called in the interaction the all of your sex there are just Sabbath their 2nd coming they're just health living they let you have everything the till of your sex that understanding is unconsciously it's a learned thing it is a thing. I want to show you quickly in the Bible it is not. I will be understanding and experience and education and perception bring us confusion and misunderstanding sex and sexuality. Or God created male and female with that and after me and clear in his image and never saw it as gently forcing. Men never ve never sent me a 3000000000 is I me us the 2nd one the physical union is a gift from God one God has given us is a physical unit a gift from God so sure relationships like you come got emotional spiritual receives a gift from God love making it. Emotional and spiritual and I'm going to do your Bible was for you to look at it for this reason a man believes his father and mother and be united in its why they will become one flesh one slice me. I mean. Become in one place there for the sexual intercourse they say that it is God's plan it happened before there's nothing. Because in the dark and yet here we see make and then he sent you a man and woman you are in Miami you are going to become one flesh people could not the genes that decided you know you needed it but you went to the store and bought that nice life to cut the budget because you liked it now you are angry want to kill your wife and your children God put it in you now because of your sin and your distorted you want to misuse it this way you are not that's the question it is given by God it is given by park. You know can't we know before any report of sin God Part one flesh and surely the man and his wife were both Nixon and they felt like it wasn't right already earliest early of a pastor of one pastor significant accountant you know the dynasty simmering you know. Because of the distorted scene and what he has gone through in his life now he's feeling that way so the foundation of male female relationship in marriage sexual emotional perceptual inexperience and biological and your article the 6 sure relationship is emotional It's a perceptual experience biologically and your article I know the men have come to me for accomplishing that they cannot have an action it's a new political thing they have lost it because of their misbehaviors its use of of course you know if you have an accident and usually a certain kind of you will lose it nearly took but this particular case I'm visiting is because of the misbehaving our sexuality is a part of our total being not merely a physical freshie or even work but it reflects the image of God in us it just uses the make of God So I always think it's like I'm misbehaving if I'm treated in image of God I'm more submissive past making God cool and is very very important man and I'm a new committed sane communication and connections between God and humans were interrupted communication connection between Adam and he were interrupted human to human was interrupted open and unashamed communication became and this stopped so when sin entered that relationship but distracted. The next flight I think next slide Adam and Eve were hiding the identical it lives did you ever thought why they had a but when they became sin they have to hide if you ever thought about that what are they hiding if you will talk about it I never when I was in the seminary Yeah I'm the godly So what are so our Bibles and I thought it took some time for me to learn to in psychological seal learn your past. You know so I don't know how did or now is because if you don't. You know that I'm still a senator you've just seen that he's the one is not. It's not a. Sin that evil or can be in your communication it can be insecurity here we're. Sin can be anything that you so you cannot and I cannot but it's. Not even that unhealthy communication is an unhealthy way of having sex with unhealthy people it's a problem so hiding and feeling shame and sex is elected not because of that so the very very important for us to understand that. Up loud their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her husband. Rowdier wife. If you take the word. The husband supposed to have compassion and kindness and connection with the other life as a lot the Lord has compassion there is and relationship. That's what does not mean the law is a simple one you have one fact. Listen it out of compassion it out of kindness and it's understanding that it's a relationship. So then sex is a gift from God When you are spiritual your own need to be taller or if you secure pleasure it doesn't make you oh holy and sometimes that the people ask this question you know is it like to have sex on Friday night. As if I could have sex on Shabbat is one of the very proper question on many similar and non-Christian star Lebron among the pastor seminars in the past you know they asked the question what do you think. Why he didn't meet us on Thursday the 1st night you know I don't know if you are going Friday but if you go back to history. But people are cooked and kept the for very this lap the children are sleeping the husband and wife spent primary Sabbath morning then there's been lots of time to get a prayer and loving each other and loving the Lord and children gets up and then they feed the children they have worship loving and training together they even legal and what that's all or of history of do it that's something I do it well now we have all this program not we have to go Friday I have a judge we go to Friday the judge's order cannot drive 8 o'clock that morning prayer and nobody comes on time you know and they have a fight on their way and you know all these types happens and then they come happy Sabbath one that means that. There's a hell is that God. Therefore evil comes from the misuse of sex not because they were decided to bring pleasure is it something is missing anything. It's not going to bring pleasure it is anything that we have so I'm going to include the psychology of the ego or Saturn and human that would involve. This was so great that sense of something part of the result is excessive preoccupation with now I might insist about the politics but I'm afraid Iraq and you see the politicians let me use a poor word we're different if you see them their eggs you know. I don't know I just took that they say that the when the Senate does of course. That there will be Congress when they want up each other because senators think they're bigger than the Congress and so they don't. You know. It is in the church too you know if you go big meetings the church the high level people will not be after the lower class. You know. So that's why you go. You know it was centric self-important Murray very important here not that I don't talk to anybody because of that. You know we can trace the you got all the way back to the Garden of Eden that you became enveloped by setting like that she should become like oh. I got. So said and did the 1st thing I want to be like God I'm going to make your for like God and I need more people in my team so girlfriend will tell me I'm going to do this I want you to come because he doesn't want to do it and you want more people with him so he can come in and everybody can chat. If you know so certain groups look at me for you. Let him go comes like that then everybody forced to work on Monday you know last month. In France you go so there you go it's the one that are. Set and patched. It gets into our heart it makes us feel very very important that we need to have meaning to have fresh out of this is our young going to be very very important but. You know sometimes the I see young people enough because they're. A very important big man and when I stop because you know. But he. Is very important because of the same thing. And that is a problem is that you know so see if something has created us in legal so you go through with. It makes it important and it also had the support. Of the people if you like we took the fact that I did. You want to know how to do it very important you know and I and then that text message boards and e-mail goes Ok I thought this is. So that what happens that's what's at invite We can't let you go back to our the meat of that that enough we've been so because then that comes and miss with it become our last rather than love rather than love it become our last so our last protect. Some pleasure. For one person not for 2 people or last makes sure are about me it is a self gratification project now who is eliminated in it. Not easily when a dead West sexual partner is a live in it that it is that I don't mean. It's all about me so this kicked off more than any other put it in opposition to well our sexual enjoyment what God did and it's gone now it's a 2 people together having that relationship and going together. So the elastic sure pressure is the worst from mooch yourself giving what my pleasure say is that last for one I want it. I need it now I want it now and I don't know how many of you there are stories that people have killed each other because of this I want it now and you're not giving it I'm going to kill you and that's all there are the 6 sure and crimes are happening I needed now you're not going I'm going to get it and with it in the way I've got it. So the sexual desire and last time are not the same thing the difference is the sexual desire in its proper place and expression is why I took and what part of our humanity in last I will let me think the rest spectrum on dignity and the dignity of our partner see it is very very important to understand that that's this impulse you route takes time. And that's this impulsive. Thing you say that when a pastor of worth to a church you know how many years a gift for him took a stab lift that love with a member anybody else. 5 years and the look like it takes 5 years for a pastor that and a conference held last go after 3 years to another church and. You can never have a tablet in a relationship. Like that. So that love me so is that a group of delayed the gratification while last is rooted in instant pressure the last seems like the spring sprinting love feels like they're not done well means acceptance last means intelligence so that's where the problem is you see that it is the evil the I am the one that is the issue here that is where the sin becomes it is another sex it is the ego. That last is psychological force but reducing in terms of wanting or longing for an object also comes in for feeling the emotion so the lust loud need a person with feeling and connection last to want an object now if you see that I want what I'm to so many women as an object if they don't have that woman that object when they go they go and buy you not get in the start to use it to sink so that it's not that I'm thinking that's not how I'm feeling you see that so that young man and woman who doesn't have a partner they used to object after the marriage the woman is object to see that. So that's how the sin is getting it in us so the relationship is broken I said in the beginning the Christianity is very strong. And I think if God listens to one another I like neighbor it's our wife and I with children of family and I want some unity last this never satisfied at the height of Solomon saying you had 300 wives and 700 on your mind. And it because you know what. That it's a misperception enough. That if you want to be a good ass burn a good president have to be a 100 and so on and. So you wonder why so many are not why because you know what. It's about the physical connection. Love is about an emotional connection we how go under stand that god. As an emotional kind of. You know I have asked one of you what is the feeling you have right now and you tell me that a lot of men can open truly. You know I trim past what is the feeling you have right now I don't have any feelings I want you want. Your high grade is not what. Emotional going to be disconnected emotionally from the society in our family. The emotional connection is so important that's one of the earlier so I said that from the beginning they have to have the hug and the kiss and the license for the parents that are more tional brought is so important today they call it emotional intelligence but God has ordered court us that we love one another and have that connection that is the most important thing that most intelligent. Hope can't last like you intensely want to have sex with someone now feels like you want to have sex with someone and be emotionally close to going to love means you want to spend time with your partner and listen to her needs and emotions feel connected you also you also are interested in meeting your beloved sense means you are more interested in having sex than having intimate conversation or meeting the bus and friends. So. The. Next one are you want to take a picture you ask are. Going I says and offer to give me email let me send you if you want to spend time. And that right I know some of that ignored but tell. Please tell them I will be able to them let them send you they already have information to us you know that this is the best way to do it I think and. We are going into it and we have another 20 minutes let's go because of this sex and you can also card hypersexuality what is hyper mean. Or what I call lower so we don't know how I thought we had high park that's the problem it has to do with anxiety shame feeling enchantress I'm. Happy now and I don't have to go for it so let me get into the car and go and look for somebody to say hi Bob. I can find that at the other place who try to sell them all Internet and see. That the hyper there and silently I want it now that was a 2nd problem. I want it now honey Oh Ok you're in trouble in America already. Yeah I want to. This is a problem with this is that. It is a I think it is the most evil thing in the work just one word that you know I'm one letter. So it is high perceptually thing hypersexual disorder. So sexual compulsivity and car. Behavior Disorder became the focus. And diction is a disease. That we have sectioning and it is a disease. It is said this is sexual admission is and this is you do or the same thing and again and again and again and there is something happen to your body for example I'll take a simple something happened to be I am sad. Now I'm sitting on the side for one week. I'm sitting on the board for 2 weeks 3 me forming Why weeks what will happen to me. You know. He said the depressed the world depression sadness turned into depression but to me my neurochemical last change in the brain is. One God has created been balanced. So the change happened now we don't know what to do how to bring back the change in the game so we need it now help somebody to reset everything to us so any action is a decision because they are a signal chemical change has taken place in the head because you have been doing it again and again and making. Well specifically sex addiction is dysfunctional reoccupation with a sexual urges and fantasy and behavior you're doing it again and again and it became an education usually involving Dobson a person not in intimate sexuality not an inmate no life in it no thrilling in it no emotion in it for grasping sexual and or mistakes and prostitution that is nothing in it so that is the problem of it it sexuality is human as a gift by God to have that relationship and connection now we have moved away from it we just want to do it because he wanted it now according to the so I just mention his observation with sexual parts feelings are behaviors they are unable to control the polar opposite of Eagle but God asking that I include. That's where the Bible comes in theology you know the self bank of Bob Rocky Why did quite dark about it in the south were going us egoistic. What kind of work it was me and what it was what follows going. Yeah he was in the south side of somewhere you know with a gun in hand killing everybody you know if he was oh my god. We're all going to Christine I killed. Him also. You know those are the scenes. I have to live. That's what he came to. Eat and he learned. More important than living. That is where the Christiana to. The biblical one I'm focused in sex on the brain sex. The release of a cocktail of chemical in the brain I will already talk about little bit about Dick saw that took place that they're liking sex a lot doesn't make us a sex addict I think you should like that. Is not me you know because some kind pastors preach that and we hear that that's not true and just think or engaging with God the end disclosure behavior that's to make your sex addict but it is a sin but it is a sin it doesn't make at it that mean you don't have a disease it is a sick if you are a sex addict just like you here and I meet you at the point where you are having sex not because you are there in pleasure from it but because you need to do that just before sleep at night and says that me not to have the door sometimes. And you will see the next so little more so a while to sex addiction is that they are it is one of the mentally ill addicts and that stems from the way the human brain feels or doesn't feel the pleasure to see that white what is there next and means like any sex and its uses that I mix and not to have a good time but do not know what s came from the test and emotional and discomfort including the pain of underlying emotional psychological issues like depression and underscore early life like that so a lot of people or all of us are wounded in many different ways. And sometimes we get wounded we don't know or we haven't really learned behavior like I've said already if you haven't this problem one way is to go and do the sort of people who run. From the other community or from the movie and a lot are listening and that like I've been on the presentation i Carly or now when they have something they don't want the time crying and feel the feeling but they want to express it in the wrong way that is we are this killing and the sorting also comes the anger is they are they don't know how to express it they express to the weapons and kicking and killing it's not anything they slam the door so and the president God kick the dogs and all that stuff you know because that's the expression now here I mean how all this feeling they're expressing through in the wrong way the wrong places. And you do it more and more you don't know what to do and it is a problem that is a problem that's how you get into trouble and more so sexual addiction is not about having fun it is about cold calling what one feels sexual addiction is distracting the feeling they feel sex education is Arielle mental health. The arc under stress now I told you earlier that it is a learned behavior from the beginning and eventually you continue to do it and it becomes a sin and you do the chemical changes happened it becomes this. Is a simple you know the simplest thing you know you know Bernie send the. Letter I don't know what he had or what happened they are keeping it secret but it's often hard hearted We don't know but how do you know. This because in walking around. You know it was built for a long time isn't it. You know he's walking to light shouldn't that help him grab a bit helps. Now that her pimp walking why it's already feeling because it is connected for a time it is in the unions and it is so all of this comes to an end at the. Like had like an advocate. And I I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was that in your sort my sample had it. Yeah yeah type tool the reason is that my family had my family died they are all Hindus and I had it when I was young it is actually not. Because and pass on to some of the things that me up when I was a convert children so we need to be careful when you become obese this time we have to be careful. And it's common experience so when the person they feel ashamed they have sought. Mental health issues loss of a relationship and chemical dependency now the word that So I mean they have this they have to have some kind of remedy and they always do it in the wrong way so what course a sex addiction that is not taken on to the sex addict and the 1st one is probably the more sexual compulsion maybe a link of corporate emotional pain and we talk about a little bit one study 96 percent participant said Pacific would prefer that sexual compulsion you know that's a record I'm depressed I need a woman. I'm really upset I need somebody to cock so I'm going to this woman you see that the most common thing as well sadness and depression happiness and. It is funny that happiness is back or not it's not about sadness when you have a lot of money and a happy you know what happened recently know what the one big guy you know by the lineal it killed himself finally in the press and now our money a lot of happiness for him it killed him and finally. Yeah they don't know what to do they want to express. That's what we need that loving relationship and kindness that we could concoct that is what it is your wife. That is really your have to learn one skill you know what the skillet. Letting listening who listens know well listen. We don't want criticism when I'm listening yeah. Yeah. Listening What is that talking I know that you know farting I know that. So this is I just people with. Out neuro chemical differences in the brain so what center and history of abuse. So when you do it again there's a disorder then you might also have a history of abuse childhood a large majority of people with the sex addiction reported so many percent reports are still abuse and 81 percent report sexual abuse 90 percent report sexual abuse and the treatment for this is in the way you were therapy so if you are having issue or your friend or family member. Look for therapeutic intervention but make sure you find somebody who embrace spirituality. There are 2 weeks ago one of. One of my client mental psychologists I referred to I don't have time to do it so I said No are because they're closer to me I write a conflict of interest I referred as it's in Georgetown by the way and it is from the dog harness that eventually as soon as he went he said look at it listen to an hour and a half hour to her and said I said listen if you do was your husband and she came running to pastor Pastor He told me to divorce my husband I said he's a stupid guy. He may have a Ph d. you know that doesn't mean anything if you don't have Guardian stupid as well you know that's what I'm sorry for the word evil group. Group therapy being with a group of people or you will learn from your p.s. what has done to harm them how it had helped them cook family therapy going with your father mother brothers and sisters and back how we distributed in a family everybody learned from the behavioral quantitatively changing your top us how you think are based negatively to what disguise and sometimes you need medication if you are depressed and cited prescribe medication and you need education and really learning and of course i put their trust in God and self at last it not because it is lost it is the foundation that is the foundation if you have trust in God and you have a good deal of your sex it is a gift from God and He will has this probably distorted it I need to what karmic to make it more holy. And when you have that concept that things are changing at least as clearly stated the core problem from within out of heart of man comes. Sexually monarchy adultery and sensuality you see that with him out of a heart of a man it's a little heart is the issue heart of mind is it in other words when it comes to sexual sin this is a serious I'll call it problem is not what we have got but what was done to us we cannot say here they did this to me they told me no it is what a side business what I believe what is in my heart what is in my hand and that is more important that is what we need to walk about taking responsibility for our behavior and did have a confirmation and change in our life with sexual sin with sexual sin real change can only begin with then even the pendants a change of the heart the Pendennis not recovery by the way the Pendennis I don't recall if you are addict they penned that goes around with recovery process I think this is a sin and I need a cane and I need to love the Lord let me get some help know how to changed go to the process. That is very very I'm going to go quickly a list here I'd like to sexuality these are some of the same some you have feel shame for it's an illicit stolen or expertly compromised values draws on fear for excitement they an exile who abused if you have been abused this connect from oneself clear some words are under reality is this crap they were invented as useless computer stuff probably. And a healthy addict who is still at it so still many can't and kill the pain. Of a crisis number life becomes a routine grim or die less demanding but action something to get in demanding cleaning or the gate I want to become. Becoming this hard as a lifestyle I have a client coming to see me the wife is why space and another nursing very high position in the hospital and she comes very late if they are in cleans the house he does everything he's not highly educated he does everything and then mini when he consciously had it talked to her she goes to bed. He goes to the office like he's working as soon as he goes and sees the place it gets his car he was horrid night looking for prosecutes. At the station by the way and finally he got car the wife of a committee. And he said I have been doing it from childhood nothing new. That this harness lifestyle that we have clean enough becomes a routine grim or Douglas demands perfection such a cigarette in demanding and clinging and discharge so here is a healthy one for Stop Loss of your self what has normally. Operates within a value system but it comes from any system. It's come from Biber this this is a reality it is important for our children to go to school and that when I was called Christian schools what are the Christianity. Intimacy for excitement cultivate a sense of being an adult probably a sense of self I should also say yes because they got that going if they don't learn good behavior you know we have had issues in our school. This kind of behavior on and off on the principle that the details are nonsense enough so they are up in this in every way but it doesn't mean we should I why is it that a lot of good at going to school. The sense of there being an adult probably also a sense of self expands reality through being in touch with the press and. Relies on safety which was a consensual and equal the what equal There you go it's not there you know equal sharing Foster self-regulation of emotion connection talking to one of the other unit integrity and authenticity then a very important sense of integrity in art and discipline and it is a spontaneous fun and playful and I think progress is not impulsive that's what it means except imperfect is respect for boundaries accepting and to me so. This is my present tension I have so one minute I was afraid of it I will finish it are knocking on yeah I was. Any questions right that's you still have your question. What is the question. I don't want to go you know I don't but I know enough to. Talk. You. Feel comfortable with his or her sexual health. You gave the example of. Boys saying touching his. Mother seeing a little bit of a lot of self that is that. I guess the concern I have this little young person to experience too much in that area it could very well lead to the organization and a lifestyle that we know as well such as Well there has to be a partner here somewhere so Ok What is your question about what it what it went what is the like I mean we I don't think that we get a little child just a cold. When. Comfortable with their sexuality so I guess the big timbered How would you like what you get is how would you pronounce on a ferret. For advice the exact life to them gold this far with your sexuality but over here well that is not all Christian sexuality. If you will came a little late I think if I'm not mistaken in my presentation am I right I'm sorry. You came a little late for my percent Asian. Ok so the beginning of the presentation I said the missing is a connection the sexuality is allow and relationship they have the experience when they are less safe and I go with my daughter my grandsons are less patient no law is you don't pair of the child no no but you guide them through the process but it's a 5 months you can get through but you don't say no it was just as in his mind enough but you take your hand I mean you find their way to calibrate so that is what I mean having sex in excess. So there you are question is how do you counsel your own counsel the parents if you are not trained you don't care. If you are not the theology of sex in the Bible and you tell the law and the if they are misbehaving and you find definitely a person who is trained in this field to help them grow understand we had this behavior this coming where is the root How did they learn it what happened to their life and you go through the process very carefully help them to understand they have learned it like in my beginning or the person they said in the wrong place in the wrong way and what is the right thing that is how you do it so our ways it's a process rather than fixing it it is not a mag doner sandwich scene it's a process it takes time. But it is a very hard thing if I care and I learn in the wrong place wrong time that is the reason I am talking and we have to rely on our self if you haven't learned it in order to help other people we need to go to that it's not like other issues as well I keep in the fact that you know this is a very complicated thing that we have a. Question Which. We all of. Which. For some privacy you know in other words. It's not. Well I tell you that. This is all the story but I will tell you that 10 years old in the holy man came from America to my country Sri Lanka as a missionary Ok And he has a big truck and so he has to watch. They had one beautiful girl working for that beautiful girl my country got built for that. And the good boyish well from America the father has this American flag and of course you know they kept the letter and one of them crying while this young girl is watching and they're looking at and I don't love them no problem this is happening. It's a curious sitting there having because they have seen it something that you know the I have seen it somewhere let me think to come back to you. So that you're a citizen there so should we be open and naked No I want to suggest that they should you are and kiss your children and your wife yes you should and if you discover and you conquer them and then reprimanding them you know how did you learn ready to learn that one of the wise is about right I mean you learned that the more tell me. Why you thought you were. He wants a you know I don't know why you were let go but if you ask Honey it's funny that you were I mean on the lead on and doing is wonderful you know to tell me Well you know that way let's one day I came home all the gold was all put you to work across it I saw Mummy was missing and I was asked why I wonder what did and why me after the course of so I thought I'd. You have to cock and understand the root of. How we are they learned it is a learned behavior like I told at the beginning and it's a process not fixing it's not that success you know that isn't the same going to action they found in my church there you have. To stop me I say it doesn't work that way. And it doesn't work that I said let me walk on it I'll bring a counter I don't really have a little Brick Lane for these young people learn about it it's not really for them so they have to talk yes brother Michael. You know. Excellent question I tell you I don't want to do much counseling because right now I pastor not early yet I had time to go it so more than 3 2nd I don't have it and it is hard to do it and I just sit in because I know them it is. Kind of a mess up in our relationship so I refer them to put a step is excellent one for their close up is for you one for not totally alcohol but it has been now very wise for the drugs and the eating disorder and so on is wonderful and he is very good and I think the. Steps now otherwise in spiritual settings so we need to find those settings Ok thank you that's things to take care. Result this presentation is in the mail and then if it has been a blessing to you your feedback is welcome please visit us and then the last.

Share

Embed Code

Short URL

https://audiover.se/2ZrCYIG