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Logo of Michigan Camp Meeting 2019: As a Witness, Matthew 24:14

Mastering my Emotions with God's Tools - Part 2: In Control

Laurie Snyman

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Conference

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  • June 18, 2019
    12:30 PM
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Lord thank you so much that you have allowed us to be a camp meeting that you have blessed us with the means to be here that our leaders despite financial pressures and concerns have allowed us to have a camp meeting that our camp meeting is as long as it is so that we can study and pray and work on things here we thank you for the people here that are congregating that are going to be leaving this place with the Holy Spirit in their hearts and in renewal and a change and I pray Lord that you will also do that here in this class that the people who are wanting a change in their hearts and wanting you to come in will be praying for that during our session so that their minds will be changed help us dear father as we read scripture today that we will be impressed I know that you work through Scripture and that you open our hearts and I just pray Lord that you will anoint my lips so that I can be a vessel for you in your holy name Amen your brain your brain did you know that your batty sends out and I thought this was wrong I thought somebody misquoted I look it up 11 how many 11 What 1000000 bits of censoring information per what. To your brain what if you had to sit there and organize that all you'd go crazy wouldn't you and that's according to the Britannica brain by the way they don't just come together you know they saying you know some people think that the world came together by 2 balls just smashing and each other. That's like putting the parts of a watch in an envelope and shaking it up and thinking 2000 years later it's all going to come together isn't an amazing thought and it's ludicrous but the brain is so amazing and it's such an amazing tool and God has given it to us and we can do a lot with our minds if they're so dedicated to him How can you not be impressed with guide 11 did we say 1X1W1X1W pieces of sensory information while every 2nd so how much is that in a day I don't want to ask Ok. He ever heard that song the wonder of it all the wonder of it all yes it is a wonder isn't it that we have these mines in our mind in our heads so back to emotional intelligence how many of you had heard the term emotional intelligence before yesterday Ok not how many of you when you read all those verses in the Bible recognize that emotional intelligence was being spoken about in the Bible we were talking about emotional intelligence yesterday and I gave you all those scriptures and so do you recognize that even though you didn't know that term that the Bible's been talking about it for years obey and today we're going to talk about self regulation controlling the self and that is the meat of my presentation there are important pieces every day but to me this is the one that I just love because this not is so amazing that the Bible's been talking about this for all the time that you've been reading it but you haven't been catching it and now there is actually scientific proof depend back up what the Bible has been trying to tell us so it's very exciting. All right so up there you see a picture of the brain and what do you see in that area of the brain memory and emotion how many of you have a memory how many of you recognize that sometimes it's not as working as well as you wish. How many of you recognize you're an emotional person so see the a mega love the amygdala is in front of your ear and it's on both sides so I'd like you to point to your temple in front of your ear and I want you to say the word Magdalen. I haven't a Magaluf. It's right here so when I talk to you in this lecture and I do this you're going to say what she's got the I'm a glove being pointed to all right this is in your limbic system the I'm a Goliath houses our emotions and our memories when someone says something that's a little bit off have you ever had that happen oh you must be living Ok somebody says something maybe with a little edge or with a little disappointment or with a little bit too much emotion like you know you should a Have you ever heard the should or could of what. When that happens you have a reaction in your Magdalena and that is that blood and acids and carry that thought to your All right are you with me oh everybody blood and asked a gent carry that thought and it goes right to your make blood and when someone says something that's where it is now pay attention because this is really important that is called the amygdala hijack this action is when your thoughts go into your magdaléna and when you have them in your major. I hear my might going on enough is that Ok get it Ok when you have something going to your major like if you react at that point you will probably do that before you think rationally that means that when you react fast enough hurry you are going to say something that you wish you hadn't said or you're going to say it in a way that packaged it in a poor way and so that you will offend somebody or hurt somebody something I'm really good at Wow And I think that as you get a little older you're a Magdalen is like firing a little faster. So at the rate at the bottom of the slide I'd like you to read that was us Me Ok the more our emotions go up the less logic we use so when you are in your a middle of is this the best time for you to handle a problem absolutely not do you think that the devil can use us when we're in our image alone. Does the devil choose to her relationships can we do we all connect with certain people every day several people in our family or in our workplace or in our community yes and if you're a mega is active and you are working from your I'm a doula you are a servant of the devil because that's where things get really stirred up so by the way when people are working in their own megalo they can even murder somebody at that point have you ever heard about why he killed in a fit of passion. I was that premeditated No he did it you know he saw his wife with another man and that's when he shot him and so it was a fit of passion they want to know did they premeditate because even even the the judge and jury you know they almost feel sorry for when people are in that point and that's when they do their behaviors it is in haste it is not a healthy place and I'm going to tell you that there's more to this with every emotion the amazing law haphazardly pair is what's going on with some memory you have from the past now there's a lot of people that put a lot of interest in what their brain is telling them and let me tell you your brain isn't as smart as you think it is right or wrong silly or Smar why they're foolish it gives you a memory and it appears you up with something and it could be helpful and it could be on helpful your brain is a gauge not a control center it's up to you to choose whether you're going to be controlled by your emotions or if you're going to choose to control them so let's go on let's say that I'm walking around and I see somebody in the back walking towards me and they're holding a baseball and a bat now how many of you think that's alarming could be could be that they're just holding it after a game in their team and they came to our seminar right. But let's just say that in my I am a doula that my amygdala pairs that memory I mean member who's going to bring up a memory let's say that my amygdala says the last time you saw bat in a ball was when you were 8 years old and you were at a Little League and some kid hits the ball very hard Any through the back and it came when seeing past your head and you recognize that you almost got hit with that bad as it whizzed by and you wondered about all the damage it could have done to your mind up or your brain if it had hit you and then when I see a bat in a ball and it tears me up with that memory I start to get panic attacks maybe or fear or I'm like maybe I want to grab a batch or maybe I want to run away and sometimes we don't even know why we're having that experience it's because we may not be aware of that memory but the brain is where of that memory and it's bringing this back and you get all those same emotions if your side where I feel like I've been here I did this before and I'm like That's because that memory is going on in your brain so it would be good for me to be able to say to myself calm down just a bat in a ball don't know that they want you want right I need to have that but I'm not there yet I'm in my amygdala got it. All right when I was little my mom was getting Sabbath dinner ready. And she you know I was hungry and we had company and she told me now if you go near the table don't touch anything don't eat anything so I just was lookin and look and also I saw some olive they were really little and I thought you know I could just have one of those aloes and it wouldn't even look like they were missing and then I just saw it last smell the olives. So I want to tell you this I have no idea that all these years of my adulthood when I see an alcove I get this retching feeling in my stomach I don't know why I get that retching feeling in my stomach it's just been this like the specific us thing feeling and when I eat in al of it's not distasteful it's not upsetting it's not like I can't stand the taste of it but it just gives me the sickly feeling so I had to really think about where that came from why do I have that because my megalo when I see an olive is put in some kind of memory and they're so here back to this Sabbath dinner so I was 7 or 8 and I picked up one of those olive and you know those aloes have little holes in them Have you ever noticed that and was my little fingers I saw a little hole and I thought I could put my finger in that hole and you know what if it. It was really cool I had a black thing yeah that was really cool i mean like my mom didn't even let me wear any nail polish and I had a black fingernail I thought that was cool and then I thought you know if that one bit I wonder if anyone knows this so I started putting them all on my fingers and you know what I buy that I had 10 fingers and 10 adults when I was done and my I was like enjoying and I went in and said to my mother look at my ears and she said I thought I told you not to eat anything I said Oh I hadn't eaten anything I was just trying them on and she said Your fingers are dirty I'm like there are Nat I hadn't been playing outside and she said don't put them back in the bowl and then she said Well since you made them dirty and you use them you need to eat all of those are all of well I just couldn't wait because I was hungry and so I was just really thrilled about that so I started no one by one you know what the 1st 3 were really good the 4th one was sick and my mom kept saying keep eating them because they're all yours so I kept eating them you know by the 10th one I was so sick I never want to see an olive again I had forgotten that and so when I see an aloe what was my amygdala bringing up that memory so do you understand that when something happens to you and you have a very serious emotional reaction your I'm a doula has brought up some memories that you may not even remember and so you have to recognize that it's not usually a pure thing what's going on so anyway so I'm going to tell you about another one I've told the story before and people they probably don't think it's true but I'm free to tell you it is true. So. My husband and I we had just been married with children and we had just been married for a short time Oh I see this Kleenex. We had just been married for a short time and we've just come back from our Hawaiian honeymoon and you know it's so sweet when you just come back you've been saying honey and sweet in trying out all those nice words like dear and everything and it was my husband's 1st Sabba and we were going to be at Waterford church that was where he was assistant pastor Pastor Ian and I. I was getting my casserole dish done now honestly I hadn't had much cooking experience I hadn't had much cleaning experience either and I was really kind of stressing about my dish because you know pastors wives they they have to have a potluck dish every Sabbath right and I didn't want everybody to think I was a bad cook so I was like trying to decorate it never eat thing and my husband said we've got a goal we need to be on time and he laughed and he went downstairs to get in the car and I was just putting some flowers and I hope they were edible I don't remember on that on a casserole dish probably had to be baked too so anyway when I heard this was bought bought. He was honking the horn at me his lovely wife I couldn't believe like what was then I just couldn't believe it and it made me so mad he didn't know that I could ever get mad. I was mad and we were on the 3rd floor of an apartment building and every step made me madder that I had to go down there when I was not getting my pot luck dish and so I went to him in the parking lot and he I remembered that the windows we still had one of those old cars and he had to roll down the window so he was really close to me and I said to him if you ever honk the horn again to me you are going to pay for it I'd like to see you go to your new church today without your brand new wife and let's just see how your career goes when you have no bride. I still have that frozen picture in my mind of him he went. And his face was red and he was like in shock and then I turned around I ran back up and I read decorated my dish and I think I probably took a little longer than usual. And. I was trying to disagree out through the years why was I so angry Well guess what. My amygdala brought something up that I wasn't even remembering for right at that moment remember I told you that you don't always know what's going on when I was young my dad would get into the car and my brother and I would be sitting in the back seat and my dad loved to agitate my mother boop boop boop my mother would come out and she'd open that screen door or do we had old screen door. And she'd say Henry you're honking the horn did you get the Bible in the quarterly Well No surely I must a forgot them well that's why I'm still here and did you help with the breakfast issues although I must or forgot Well that's what I'm doing and that's why I'm still here don't you honk the horn Ok she'd walk run back in and he'd look at me in the rearview mirror and go she sure. Can Raise did you turn out the lights did you close and laugh all the doors no hole surely I forgot to do that and that's why I'm still in here trying to get things ready and you are just setting out here doing nothing and so then she goes back in and he looks at me goes to do you read she's got. A room you know this is. Yeah and then he kicks one more time should come out she'd say Henry did you wash your glasses he'd say no or they would really bad you need to clean those glasses for me and she go and it'll take me another 5 minutes to do something that you couldn't had done already and I probably said to myself when I grow up my husband will never honk the horn at me and disrespect me like that correct and so my husband had no clue what I was thinking when he did that and when I brought it up to him in the last few years he said Well you recognize that I never honked ever again at you I learned my lesson. When you were in your mega last you are doing jack behaviors Jack behavior is a j. stands for what jumps to conclusions always for what overreact and t. is for take it personally is that true yes if you're going to have a problem all I know when I get couples in for marriage counseling that when they are reacting after a major love it doesn't matter how smart they are how talented they are that they came from good families if they can't get this area down they're going to have problems you've heard about the book Love and respect many of you like this is all about those areas you heard about people who have communication problems this is the area via Migdal when aspiring this is not a good thing let's read at the bottom again our feelings are to be gauges not guides Let's read that again our feelings are to be gauges not guys would that be true. All right let's go to this verse I know that every time that you read a verse you know when you're in a Bible study and somebody doesn't get something and you have them read the verse the Lord talks to their hearts and so that's what I want to make sure that you're going to be reading bible verses in here because I know the Lord is going to talk to your heart and he's going to change your mind and your life because of some of the things he wants to share with you today so let's bring this all together a chorus of us all reading together is very important and very powerful Ok being angry and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil doesn't say don't be angry does it say stop being angry it says what being very You mean that God would allow us to have our emotions emotions we cannot stop when somebody says no you don't feel that way Oh doesn't that irritate you of course I feel that way Feelings are feelings then it says Do not let the sun go down in your anger it means don't let it fester don't let it stay around get things solved because if you don't get them solved that means that they're going to have problems bigger problems faster problem I mean like it just goes on forever and holding grievances and having a problem that's not Ok And it says don't give any app or to needy to the devil so when we are angry and we react in an angry way that's the sin it's not being it's what we do with it it's how we see it let's go to this again. This is where we get our impulses as well member we talked about impulses yesterday let's say we're at the state fair and we smell Carmel corn and we go I have to have that Carmel corn and if you feed it you want to have it again right or I notice that a few years ago Doug Bachelor was talking about his ice cream addiction he said that he just loved ice cream any talk about ice cream and seeing it melting on the sidewalk and how he just couldn't wait to have any just knew it was a big issue for him and you know that night they sold more ice cream in Cedar Lake an add more than any other night of the year because once you have it in your mind you see it you think about it and you want to act on it right not saying whether it was good or bad I'm just saying that that's exactly what happens so make sure that you don't always give in to your out impulses Let's read this for guidance didn't give us a spirit of fear but of power love and self-control Sometimes we think that power is to have power over other people and sometimes the love is love for ourselves and so we want everybody to do things the way we want them to do it and self-control is like well I want to have control other over other people so we need to make sure that we don't always cater to what we need we think we want to do because the Bible also says I you're ready therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that means don't just give in to impulses. That helps us to you know we may think that it's just a little impulse here and there just to go out on the Internet and talk to somebody or whatever those are impulses that are a daily battle and we're going to have them because the devil knows exactly what some feel and we are told that it's not just a person's personality that irritates us or it's not just you know what they said because behind it is powers and what powers and principalities and remember that it's very important that we not given to them does anybody remember the little song that we sing and saddest goes some of you are not very old like me but it was called yield not to temptation Do you remember that could we sing it just for a minute I thought it was so good about impulses so let's do that. Year old not to town Tegan Chavez bolo yielding is and he victory will have of you. Mothers To widow and by men only. For die of pensions those who keep the ever Sujit as he has used through just ask the savior to have of you come home for. The he is willing to. Do he will carry you through and I wanted you to sing that because I think some of those old lines those are really important to us we need a saying things like that when we're tempted let me tell you about some children there was a marshmallow experiment many of you probably heard about it very popular it was that Stanford University they told children here is a marshmallow Here's 20 minutes and you'll be in this room by yourself and if you don't eat this marshmallow and in in 20 minutes we'll give you a 2nd marshmallow how many of you think that the kids were able to withstand that about 70 percent could not and about 30 percent did. They found out as they watch them on those little cameras that they were licking their little sounds like an al of those and they were lifting it and smelling it and then sometimes we get soggy and so they would just eat it or they would you know put it in their mouth immediately or whatever there was also a classroom where they did this and the little girl told all the kids she was the little leader and she said just gather around me and she said put your marshmallow behind you and I'll tell you stories and then in 20 minutes we'll look at our marshmallow we'll get another one and that worked as the next new There was a child that went over and slept by the wall and put his marshmallow in his pocket and then 20 minutes later they they went will come up and he said all can I have my 2nd marshmallow like that's pretty good isn't it some kids tried not to look at it they couldn't help it they just kept looking at it it was so cute I saw some of the videos on it and some of them when they ate their marshmallow they wanted a 2nd marshmallow and they didn't think it was spare and the rules were stupid and they wanted their 2nd marshmallow some kids tried to bully other kids in the classroom they wanted their marshmallow after they their 2 thirds did not get a marshmallow of 6534 year olds only 33 percent got a 2nd marshmallow 14 years later they did another study of these children that had been in the marshmallow study and they found out that a significant difference was between those who tolerated and pushed away from that marshmallow versus the ones who could not wait for the marshmallow those who waited had more social competence were more assertive were able to make decisions and they felt more resilient they had less problems with substance abuse and other temptations. But the ones who go and they also scored better on their s.a.t. tests because they were almost college age there. But those who could not delay had poor scores had more problems with substance abuse they said they were more stubborn and they were not as successful as the other children in their later life so really what they found out is it's really not about smart Haven't you heard parents all saying yes they're so smart and they can say all their words and it's like we need to recognize that our education you know people are like I want them to have you know only a certain education they have to be in these experiences I'm going to put them in public school remember it's their souls that are so important it's their it's their tolerance that's their not wanting to be gratified it's about wanting to serve others that's what we teach them in our schools and it's so much more a predictor of their success in their life than their i.q. with God's help we can tolerate our temptations Do you agree without giving in to them or feeling sorry for ourselves so have you ever been cut off how many of you been cut off Ok we've all had that experience so last pretend that somebody cuts you off the road because you can all relate to that right and you have an emotional reaction what was sent to your emotional reaction your blood and you're actually Jensen it to where. An annoyingly you're middle of pairs that was some other experience I don't know maybe it says you know you were treated disrespectfully by your teacher when you were 12 or whatever you know you have a spouse the you know didn't take you into consideration this one didn't either so whatever it gets and you're a Meghalaya and it infuriates you. And we're going to say that that gives you even a bigger reaction and if you react to the man who cut you off when you're in your You're going to do what can you give me some ideas you're going to yell You're going to what scream give them a give them a gesture chase them. Honk the horn some of those people who get shot Yes I heard about somebody who told me from his own mouth what happened to him he decided to chase the person for 3 miles and he found him at a as a traffic light so he was really excited and he drove right out next to him and he was going to tell him off and the person behind him when he stopped hit him and then pushed him into the person in front of him and then when the light changed the guy left and he was the one who had the problem in the end probably not a good thing right all right. Well even nice ladies can have problems that you know that the truth is that we can be really foolish and the Bible has told us that when we're in our. That we can be for all let's read this Ok full vent their anger but the why quietly hold it back did you get that let's go to the next one for show there are no lawyers at once but the prudent overlook an insult What did you notice about those verses 1st of all they were called fools when we act that way but what about quietly he heard the words like quietly and overlook the Bible's been telling us to calm down for a long time hasn't it so here is the 2nd part that you need to know I'm like here's the next part. We all have a frontal lobe isn't that good news good news this is critically important information and enter frontal lobe would you read with me what you have you have your reasoning your problem solving your conscience your impulse control and your social behavior if you're bringing a thought from your Meghalaya to your frontal lobe reasoning is like I'm thinking it through Problem solving is like is this the best way to handle a conscience is what would God want me to do maybe it's time to pray impulse control is like I may feel like doing something but this would not be a healthy thing right and social behavior is I need to be more concerned about people than myself and if God gives them mercy then I need to give them mercy Wouldn't that be appropriate would it be by the way when your thought is in your a major loss within a few nano seconds it comes to your frontal lobe so all it takes is a delay of time before you think about that now somebody called me and said You know I want you to know that I know that my thought was in my mega but when it goes my frontal lobe I'm still mad and I still want to do what my amygdala told me and I said that's called sin. Because the truth is that God is reasoning was us and trying to help us and we may not be listening to him right because have you ever had have you ever been mad at somebody and they go I'm sorry and then you go because I still want to yell our middle is still. But it's very important for us to recognize that God wants us to create peace and people's lives. So very important not to say anything especially when you're not in your frontal lobe you need to delay it have you heard somebody say it might be good for you to wait 10 seconds before you say something they probably didn't have bad advice right our frontal lobe is going to house all these things in it and it's important for us and so it's important to lay so what can you say what can you say to people when they want to answer right away and you are feeling emotionally upset by the way people are not going to react well when they're emotionally upset if you're having a up fight with somebody when you're in your middle of your more chances that you're going to defend yourself more chances that you're going to stonewall where you're going to shut down maybe you're going to blame or maybe you're going to be contentious and go you know well you'll be sarcastic you know that's just how you are and that's what I expect when you act just like your mother and you act just like your father and you act like you know that relative that went to jail or whatever. We really need to be very careful and we need to not be working after our middle and people go but I can't do it and what do we say yesterday I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me God knows exactly how our mind works because He created it and we need to give it back to him if we don't have a dedicated we need to give it to him Another thing is that when you're thinking about doing somebodies car because they hit your car in the parking lot or chasing after them remember this Matthew 522 I'd like you to all read this with me Ok anyone who hates his own brother is subject to judgment and anyone who says You fool will be in danger of hell do you notice how important it is to God that we treat people with kindness and respect and love if we were doing what we needed to do with our relationships be way better would we get as far would we see people that demean and hurt would we see people who are so damaged we would be able to see a lot better healthier relationships All right so back to our illustration we had this guy who was really angry at us but now we've had it in our frontal lobe and we've been reasoning with him we've been postponing our reactions so that we're not overly upset we're waiting to a calm down before we solve something and so we might say to him Well we might say to ourselves you know he's just a child of God He's made a mistake or we might say you know I've cut people off by accident and other people have given me Grace. Or I choose not to be offended remember we talked about how the world is so offended I choose not to be offended or once you realize that you reacted a certain way because you have more self understanding because God's giving it to you you might decide that you're going to react a different way each time you have something that upsets you and that's what we want to do so let's see what the Bible is tying us about this emotional intelligence about our Meghalaya and our frontal lobe I already going to read it was me my dear brothers and sisters take note of the average one should be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to be coming gree was the Bible trying to tell you this a long time ago were you really listening like a new word isn't it and I just want to tell you that the Lord wants the best for your life He wants your relationships to be wonderful he wanted to do as healthy as you can not everybody else is healthy but you can be healthy and you can make a big difference very important maybe you need to say I need to pray about that or I'll come back to you about something just give me some time to think it through Here's another one another emotionally intelligent verse you ready a gentle answer turns away wrath what is wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger you ever heard that you ever seen that why do we do that did we think that it was going to be different every time we did that now very important Here's another one almost instead of doing this we need to do set a guard oh lord over my mouth keep watch over the door of my love says Psalm 1413. There are so many I want you to know that I pared it down there are so many verses that talk to emotional intelligence I just chose a few of them and I don't know that I chose the most important I just chose several of them proverbs 1518 are you writing with me a hot tempered man stirs up strife but he who is slow to anger calms the disputes don't you want to be a peacemaker Hasn't God called us all be peacemakers let's read Proverbs $2922.00 an angry man stirs up dissension and a hot tempered man abounds in transgression Now it's written in male language and so this is for females too here's more proverbs $1218.00 must go the words of the reckless pierced like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing yes we are to bring healing to relationships we're called to do that and then Proverbs 2621 a quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers like charcoal or fire lights Wood did you realize that they were all in the Bible trying to help us with our relationships we need to claim these when I was growing up my father loved to agitate that's what we say he loved to agitate you already heard about my father right who did he like to agitate my mother is like agitate us kids to he go into our rooms and switch our lights on and then you go I'm going to have to take money off your lines because you also had the lights on and were like we didn't have the lights but yes you did you have the light side and then you have this little boy. Up and then he kept that going with my daughter my daughter was a fiery little blue eyed redhead and he'd say are you eating post Raisin Bran and she say no I'm eating Cal Ogden goes well that's because post is better you can have the colors but I want the post and then you go no that's my post. Just didn't matter she was one of those who was really slow she could spend 3 hours eating breakfast and we called her we thought she was pokey but you know I'm a social worker and we don't label children that way so we referred to her as poopy because she wouldn't know what that meant so my dad thought that was so funny that he'd say are you my Pooky Ok And she'd say I'm not your pokey Ok And he'd say I didn't say that I said are you my pokey cookie who feel lucky and she'd say I'm not your pokey who can be loopy bouquet his I didn't say that I said are you my Susie do a look a look and then she'd get filed bad her little face would turn red he just want to agitate and hear that and we should have been reading this verse to him in the Bible Proverbs 23 are voiding a fight brings honor to a man but every foolish person is quick to argue so if you have a child that's an agitator and they love to argue don't encourage and go you're going to be a lawyer someday I can tell you say I wonder why it's so important for you to always have a different opinion I remember when my husband and I were dating and I he would tell me how you know he talks really dogmatic you know and and I'd say I only can he one time he looked at me in the car and he said Do you disagree was me or are you just arguing with me and I'm like I think I was just arguing with him and then I recognize that I probably was doing the same things that my dad did right and doesn't go far from the tree right yeah Ok so here is another thing Proverbs 2528 let's read it a person without self-control is life what was broken down wall now this is to give you hope this was a man called Moses. Moses in the beginning of his life was acting as a Migdal a do you remember what did he do he did 3 things One thing was he broke the commandment next thing was he killed a man 3rd time he smoked Iraq twice when God told him we can do it once but as he mature did he dealt with bullies and he dealt with people that seem to be so irritating and so annoying and he pleaded for their lives do you remember that he loved them and encouraging that when we get closer to God we can change God loves us and he wants us to be less reactive and more emotionally stable how many of you can relate to Peter what did Peter do in his early life he cut somebody 0 off he denied the Lord how many times not one not 2 but 3 times he put his foot is now Jim I'm jumping out of the boat jumped on the out of the boat on the water just ready to go and then he started to drown member and yet what happened when he got closer to God He wrote some amazing things in the Bible for us and he became a wonderful person that saved a lot of people and we already mentioned that there was. Paul and Silas that were singing praises in the dungeon and then let's just talk about Jesus Jesus was bullied he was crucified they always tried to catch him saying things doing things they followed him around he didn't always have enough food he denies have a place to rest people cursed at him yelled at him jump to conclusions about him they tormented him they crucified him and then he's on the cross and what does he say father would. For they know not what they do and it says that Jesus was able to go through the experience of the cross because he kept his his eyes on the glory of heaven which means folks this is a very short time on this earth we have the glory of heaven had we can suffer some things for him can we not Isaiah 4031 when we when we run on emotions we really get tired and we need to stop it and when we are exhausted we need to remember this let's read this but they that wait upon the Lord shall renewed their strength isn't that wonderful so let's read this from 5 testimonies for the church 314 Christ brings the emotions under the control of reasons by the way who does that also it's not you so you don't count to 5 or you just hold your breath until you can Ok remember we need power from above Christ brings the emotions under the control of reason and disciplines the thoughts you need your your thoughts disciplined and then the tongue will not be last to dishonor God by expressions of sinful repining So what came 1st God was working with our reason and our thoughts and when he does that then it impacts what we say Have you noticed that that's the right order of doing things we need God to come clear of our brains in the way that we're thinking Let's read this one. Watch Well your words for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill allow no sharpness to come into your voices bring into your United life the fragrance of Christ likeness I saw a research study about children who have problems with juvenile delinquency if they have one parent that they connect with well they usually don't have as many problems but if they have a relationship that's really poor with their parents they have more of a problem of rebelling and when we yell at our children or demean our children or disrespect our children we are ruining our relationship with our children we want to reflect Christ in our lives there's also another study that shows that when they sat strangers in a building and that they didn't even know each other they would ask how they were feeling before they came and so they could be happy sad or whatever but whoever had more emotion you know when they would stare at them they had to stare at each other whoever had more emotion of somebody was happy or sad the other person would take that emotion and when they would ask them after they got out of the room how they were feeling they would have the same emotion they were both sad or they were both happy or whatever which reminds us that what we do and how we act we have a lot of influence on how people feel so if you're critical if you're critical parent your children to be critical if you're a agitating parent then you're probably your kids will agitate if you're allowed parent usually your kids will be allowed to write and it would be very important for us to keep our eyes on God and not mimic those around us but to think about how God wants us to act and to move forward in that area. We need to share positive emotions with others and be encouraging complements them tell them how we want to see them in the kingdom I think about my experience as a child in the Detroit metropolitan church as I was growing up I had many people that would say you know one day Lord the Lord is going to use you Laurie or you know your mom your mouth really runs a lot during the Sabbath school but I know you can use it for good some day. And you've heard birds of a feather flock together we need to be careful about are we working with people who are having lots of issues are we really are we sitting there with them and spending all of our time and analysts Lee or are we working with them but we need to surround ourselves with Christians we need to be intentional to be around people who are encouraging and who are also on the journey with us and who want to go to heaven so that we can influence people around us Dr Neil negli says that people who come to his 10 day stats depression programs usually test out very poorly in emotional intelligence but was in 10 days of his program when he retest them their emotional intelligence is higher than the national average of people and he says that they do this because of their prayer or their learning practicing skills their diet and their exercise we have all of that available don't we and we can change how we act just by the way we think now I want to make sure that you're getting these ideas so I'm going to give you a situation I'd like to ask you how somebody would act if they're in there if they're in there Ok someone at work steals your ideas and they get credit for it so if you're in your. How are you going to act. Angry irritated get back at them revenge but if you're waiting till it goes to your frontal lobe and you're waiting to think about social conscience at such a row what might you do a really good at telling what the worst thing is but what about the best going to talk to them respect them to pray for them sit down and talk to them that would be a good idea or a case. Try to make them a friend Ok here's another one someone borrows something from you that's important they've had it for several months and you really need it back you're in your Magdalena How do you react irritated angry say something when you know you should have given that back to me a long time ago and I'm going to have to take you to court and whatever you can say Ok so now it's a New Yorker and what are you going to do you take the emotion out of your voice you sit with them and you have a one on one Matthew 18 right to talk to them about what's going on and what's happening and how can you get this addressed isn't that important and if you can't get it addressed and they are responding what are you supposed to deal take a 2nd person right all right good important Ok you spoke too fast with your and the Lord is impressing you that you need to say something to a person. That you offended but you're in you're a mega what about you justify it you say they had it coming to them. You know I didn't say anything that was wrong because that was I was speaking the truth but I said it now and kindness right. But now it goes to your frontal lobe and what do you do your pal a jazz you go to them you try to make it better you you say you're sorry might even say I'll try not to do that again that would be really nice maybe give them a hug I don't know just very important how many of you do these things how many of you do these things right you talk for me or make dua I did it just this week a couple of times I'm like really are you all way beyond me I hope you are but I'm just like every day don't we we have to die to self because we are tempted and you know there's always a temptation will you take it will you move with it how about this one you hear your spouse tell their mother that they're looking forward to her visiting you for a month and they've never talked to you about it. Let's just talk about your frontal lobe what would you say or do. You need you need to track to somebody don't you and have a discussion right all right how about the people are in the cabin next door at Sabbath and you want to take a little Sabbath rest and they're playing rock music. Or did you hear your megalo did you hear that the roar through the crowd don't you notice that we're ready to do something wrong how dare they do that but what is our middle a Tele I mean I'm sorry what is our frontal lobes tell us knock on the door or kindly talk to them try to encourage them write very important All right let's read this glacier in 51 if you buy and devour each other watch out or you will be destroyed by each other so the truth. Proverbs 1523 and word a word spoken in due season how good it is there is a time to talk and a time not to talk isn't that what we're told is the time to tell somebody how you feel about them in front of other people is it time to take someone to task when there's other people that might offend you know be offended yet just we need to be careful about what we need to do well you know I told you I had my own struggles right so I was talking to someone and when I turned towards them I found out that they were looking at their cell phone what experience what emotions do you have when you're talking to someone you recognize that they're not paying attention what if you're in your middle irritation disrespect anger whatever and I experienced all of those I was really irritated so that was how it was that day when my husband Royce was looking at a cellphone and I was talking to him about something we were going to do and the 1st thing I admit was my anger so I started thinking about some absence I could say to my husband Igs cute me can't you see I'm trying to task you why is it you're always on that that phone all the time you know you're always ignoring me and I don't like being treated this way I hate it when you treat me that way and I kind of rolled my eyes and walked off pretty easy to do right Ok action to I could have been passive aggressive and let out a big brother. Right. It's a tease my daughter that I didn't know if she had pupils on her eyes because she's eyes rolling oh yeah I could have said to myself That is how it is was I'm all the time my you know my wife you know that's just not fair and it's evident he's not interested in me as much as he is in the phone or a work or whatever and then if you notice I've got a gun it's nothing really everything's Ok fine right now I'm not mad No I'm not mad No I'm not me I told you you know I can I can show you pretty good but I decided to delay my response and think it through on my frontal lobe mostly because I was working on the seminar. And I didn't want to report how bad I had been during it so I was just about to tell my husband how hurt I was about him watching his phone rather than talking to me when my husband said an interrupted I saw this video today and I thought bori would really enjoy this there's this black and white cat and I know how she loves black and white cats and she's got to see this cute video of this one so I just found it for you want it come over here and I'll show it to you. He wasn't thinking about himself he was thinking about me I jumped if I had jumped the gun that was a moment that would have been that special right and I would have been in trouble by the way. We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary up here yeah and I just think about how the Bible has been saying this to us right let's read this and be kind one to another tender hearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you and that's really the issue is that when we work with people we need to recognize that they are forgiven just like us we are not any better than them so I'm going to ask you what can you use in your life. Because of this presentation today and yesterday is there anything in your life that you go oh yes this makes sense to me this is something I could use in my life and this could improve my relationships Anybody can you say what it is keep your mouth shut However it's not about not solving something it's about keeping it showed at the right time right Ok anybody else go ahead. Read. Ok So instead of just reacting to what kids are doing in the classroom slowing yourself down so that you say the right thing and are appropriate Ok go ahead back there be patient Ok. So delaying is waiting for the Lord to inspire to you about what you're going to say rather than being fast I have to repeat for this Ok not just during the Patmore where I wish I could talk to my father he's not here anymore Ok Anything else Ok Go ahead you're so make a choice make a choice not to overreact that's a bow so what she said is to make a choice this is the whole thing make a choice with your brain and what God has wanted to tell you the skills that he's given you his giving you the power of self-control in your body and he's given it to you you're just not using those skills and we need to use that make a choice delay so that we are not destroying relationships all right and I just want to tell you again that God is available 247 to help you he gives us true power to overcome spewing our raw emotions and making our lives unstable and he wants so much for us that we can attain if we would just ask him to control our lives. So why don't we stand and we'll have prayer and tomorrow by the way we're going to be working on motivation another heart of emotional intelligence have you seen lots of intelligent people that just didn't get where they needed to do and they they sat something or they quit and so we need to talk about that so let's pray dear father I just pray that you'll be with us and you'll continue to expose those flaws in our lives that we need to work and more and we want to have a relationship with you and we want to see people the way that you see them we also want to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made and we pray Lord that every day because of what we're learning through the Bible through your power through the spiritual exercises that we're learning that we will make a bigger difference out there and impact for you and be the witness that you want as we are examples here on this earth to the people around us and we thank you Lord for each person here and may we go home in heaven and live with you where we don't even have to work we're early or learn anything new about how to think we will have perfect grades thank you Lord for everything that you've lost your leaning. This media was brought to you by Audioboo a Web site dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio version or you would like to listen to more sermons please visit w w w dot audio Verse dot org.

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