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Logo of Michigan Camp Meeting 2019: As a Witness, Matthew 24:14

Mastering My Emotions with God's Tools - Part 3: Mastering Motivation

Laurie Snyman

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Conference

Recorded

  • June 19, 2019
    11:30 AM
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Heavenly father we want to thank you that in your word you have everything that we need we want to thank you that Lauri's been showing us the texts that can help us when our emotions are. Good Bad and Ugly we ask that you bless is today in the seminar and help us to all learn something that draws us closer to you and to each other in your holy name Amen and well the buzz word is emotional What intelligence or we could also call it. And the 3rd part of emotional intelligence is motivation there are other words that kind of go with motivation and that is ambition. And people who are motivated and continue on and work towards a goal are using what how about perseverance Have you heard about that in the Bible or persistence people who are highly emotional and emotionally intelligent will stand firm despite opposition Well that's again that's from the secular information but when you think about applying that to a Christian what do you think that could mean that when there's problems arising in the world we will still stand with God no matter what that we will not depend on our emotions and our feelings but we will intelligently think about what God has blessed us with and why we want to stay focused on him and will ask him for help we don't want to be discouraged if you ever heard the saying when the. Going gets tough the tough get going and that's a really good saying isn't it because we need to make sure that when everything is easy that we don't forget how this keep strong when it's tough and when it's tough Actually we learn a lot and then when it sees it we get kind of apathetic haven't we seen that. Well I was looking on the Internet and I saw this this problem do any of you old like me that liked and landers as you were growing up in the newspaper I didn't know I was going to be a therapist I used to read all those and and share I mean save all those columns I thought that was so exciting I thought oh I just want to be the and Leander's of the world next and she was sharing this and I thought wow this is really good because it's about ambition and through z. as them it's a trust so let's hear about this she states Dear whoever it was that's not an eon Leander's anymore there's a couple columns out there I am deeply in love with a man who is 10 years older than I despite her age differences we have a great time and lots of fun my biggest problem is that life is spreading ahead of me and I'm excited about it and I have lots of ambition to meet my goals but my fiancé has no goals he has no ambition he hates his job he's been trained as a chef but he chooses to do little minor jobs and he hardly makes any money do you think there's any hope for me so what do you think do you think that a girlfriend would be able to manipulate harass or or lecture him to get him to move forward. Because what happens when people do that we dig in and we get more stubborn and angry right is it right to tell people you need to come up to my standards and then I could like you better do we ever do that in our churches with some of our new members. What does it take to change a person's thoughts and feelings and behavior what does it take the word of God what. The Holy Spirit if we don't have that in our lives what's the chances of that so then let's say that you married somebody like that and you've done the you know persuading convincing and the preaching etc and it doesn't happen what do we do God has to change me doesn't e I have to give up my expectations of that person I have to change my attitude I have to stop thinking that my way is the best way there is a lot of work isn't there so the other thing is that sometimes people settle for those things and still go forward right and they expect that there's going to be a magical cure and they have a lot of sadness ahead but we can get through some of these things because God is really good and he can help us but you know there's necessary endings anybody ever read that book necessary endings there's a time for everything a time to give up and a time to go forward and sometimes when you are not in a situation yet because you haven't married them you need to be breaking up right and sometimes people are afraid to go all but I love him I hear this all the time in counseling but I just move him it takes more than water to make soup. And it takes more than love to make a healthy marriage and relationship so give people good advice when you see people struggling with that so that's about ambition how many of you know people who could not stick to anything. How many of you knew brilliant intelligent people who looked like they were going to go really far maybe they even got voted to be the most successful person and their class and then they didn't accomplish anything there are people who give up on parenting those people give up their children there's people who give up on their marriages their jobs their schooling I mean I have a brother that quit his college education one semester from his business degree don't understand that drives truck and buses heart you know at least he's driving a truck but I'm just saying that it's really sad when you see people giving up high emotionally intelligent people according to the books and do or are determined to meet their goals and they have a lot Well I this is my word that I used to grow up on how many of you have heard the word gumption what is gumption mean to you stick it to this or moving forward persistence Yeah it seems like we're all born with a certain amount of gumption but if we don't exercise it it just rusts out would that be true because when we're young we want our way have you noticed my cookie my seat rate and then when we get older we go whatever I don't want to do that anymore. So we sometimes when we grow up we don't eyes grow and a healthier way and we don't use our stubbornness to get our goals we use that to just control people so what is this verse Let's read this and let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart now when it talks about your heart what do you think it's talking about is it talking about your ticker It's about your mind and it says Do not lose heart what is losing heart mean getting discouraged getting giving up etc. Can you think of any Bible characters that had a lot of gumption What was that David Joseph Paul I think of Daniel dared to be a Daniel I have no doubt that he was committed to God way before he had his conflicts he knew what he was going to do way ahead and that is it somebody was talking to me yesterday about behaviors and sometimes they they react at certain points and that's really important to realize is that we need to have a mindset where we agree we're going to do something before the problem comes up so that we already know how we're going to progress Joshua was committed to God and he gave a famous speech and Joshua for 2415 he said For as for me and my house what we will serve the Lord not you didn't say if it feels good or if I feel up to it that day or if I get out of bed he said we will serve the Lord Have you noticed how the world has become really gray rather than black and white you know we think this is how things are we don't know if this is what you think would be the best and I'm like but there are principles and standards that are exact aren't they and we need to have that in our mind that before we get into a situation for me in my house we will what serve the Lord and that is really important if we work on something big and we look at the whole thing it doesn't look overwhelming but God can help us step by step if you think that the Lord wants you to do something don't look at you know way I had know that every day the Lord give you strength until you can accomplish it. Cept that one time on my computer everything was getting doubled all of my. All of everything that I would put in would triple or double and so I kept deleting over and over I had thousands of leading and my husband said Why are you doing that I'm late because I just want to clean it up and he's like but we could just eradicate the source so it doesn't do that and then you would have to delete their sometimes some intelligence and that right Mickey necklace Yeah but if we believe that God is in that project we need to keep on that's why wise Solomon said that iron sharpens iron it means we have to have godly people around us that are holding us accountable the don't want to take out the easy way and will support us to do the right thing right and so circularly your people make sure that you are in church with people who are supportive of your religious experience because if you're just worshipping on your own you don't have that support well. How many of you know I'm a social worker. Ok there was a time when I got married and I was told that social work is a really full profession and there is nobody that can get a job with social work social work was my passion I had since I had been like 13 I had been a balance here I didn't volunteer probation officer I'd work with retarded children and a home I'd been on a hotline and I thought oh getting paid for social work that's so exciting because I loved it and so I got really discouraged and I thought well maybe I just need to go into nursing because nursing you can get a job all the time you've got about doing something because it's the popular thing to do so I went to school and I started in the Detroit area and I started taking classes on nursing and. It just wasn't exciting I mean I really I was pulling average grades and finally after my last one where I was just annoyed with all the sciences and the things that I was learning and I didn't like I said to my husband I've had it I'm going to apply for my Masters I'm going to go to Wayne State I'm going to get a masters in social work I don't care if there aren't jobs out there I'm just going to ask I feel like that's what the Lord wants me to do and my husband got all tearful and I thought was nets he feels so good that I'm being passionate about my new career and he said no that wasn't really it. He said Laurie you love to talk and I could just see you filling syringes and putting the wrong medications and I'm afraid you're going to kill somebody. Well I became a social worker I got aids and social work because it was my passion and I'm really thankful I love it because I really believe that my field has been a blessing to even church members and I think that you need to not get focused on what other people's opinions are you need to do what you feel the Lord wants you to do and he'll bless you do you agree All right let's read this this is from Ellen White I don't remember what an owl stands for but it's an l 59. It takes persistence not of a day nor of a year but of a lifetime I'm going to start that again I want to make sure you're all with me I love to hear the voice choir It takes persistence not of a day nor of a year but of a lifetime the struggle for conquest over self is a life long struggle without continual effort and constant activity there can be no advancement and divine life no attainment of the victor's crown so we just took this emotional intelligence from the business world that says motivation is really important and we recognize that the Bible and Mrs White talk about persistence perseverance consistency struggling moving forward pressing ahead and you see these are Christian ethics very important God can give us the power to stay persistent and focused on a goal let's read this ready the Christian must put forth the most exertion in order to gain the victory with even more is Elan and determination so is that really passive I'm just going to wait and see if the Lord bring something to me and delivers it to my doorstep No these are active words that says that we really need to do this many people quit their jobs or miss their work easily I was reading about Americans they said that 35 percent say in the last year that they made up an excuse about why they didn't go to work because they wanted the day off and I was reading a little bit about John Calvin he was a Logan many years ago he was afflicted with rheumatism and constant migraine headaches and yet he continued to preach teach write books and he governed Geneva Switzerland for 25 years I didn't know that but there are people that despite the fact that they're in pain or that they're having issues will continue to stay focused on what they want they know what God wants them to do. Let's read this Ok this is actually the impossibles acts of the Apostles 484 the Christian worker is depressed and toward the goal showing to the world to angels and to men that the hope of seeing the Face of God is worth all the effort and sacrifice what do we need to be doing folks is that a biblical cancer Yes Is it a passive cancer is it if I have a headache if I don't feel like we need to continue to press on we need to not be stopped were to make goals how many of you have a goal if you are just maintaining You probably won't accomplish as much I would like you to think about it right now about a goal that you feel the Lord Well actually I don't want to say the word feel about something the Lord has impressed you that you need to do maybe in the next year think about it I hope you pray about it I hope you'll tell somebody about it that will help you to be accountable because every year we should be making gains shouldn't really we shouldn't vacillate we shouldn't be apathetic remember at the hockey games anybody ever going to a happy game I came up in Detroit I went to the Red Wings hockey game as a child and every every time that the the team wasn't doing very well of the organ would start and go do it. And everybody yelled. And don't you think we need to do that that it that. We need to press ahead if you have a goal and you are going to pray about it tomorrow or today hand me a piece of paper and tell me what that goal is and I'll read it some people so that we can inspire them about what the goals God wants us to contact him with their goals so here's something that he says let's read this. Wait on the Lord be of good courage and he will strengthen 9 heart wait I say on the Lord now you know what I like to do things yesterday do you why does he say Wait patients testing getting them idea before we move forward right we need to wait on the Lord how many of you would it admit that in the last 2 days while you're being spiritually fed here and camp meeting scamp has that you ran ahead of the Lord would you say that and you did things without talking to him 1st that is so easy to do let's read this fixing your eyes on Jesus the pioneer and perfecter faith consider him who endured such opposition from sinners so that you will not grow weary and lose heart did you hear that again that about the lose heart can we lose heart when we get discouraged and we wait on the Lord and people are like you know that Tommy you know I've been asking the Lord for that for a long time and I think that it's time for him to do that for me because I'm going to get really discouraged I don't know that the Lord works that way we need to not lose heart because he is faithful all the time you want to know where that is versus found Thank you I didn't write it down I'll be happy to look at it for you later how's that so we need to fix our eyes on the Lord did you hear that how do we fix our eyes on the Lord study prayer you know my goal I was thinking what would my goal be and it's like I would like to pray longer not no more of these just really short and the run I want to wait on the Lord and I'd like to pray for a longer period of time so I really need to be working on that to. Here's another one being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so you may have great in durance and patients cautions 111 when we are strengthen with this power what will we have great what patients can you say that great and Durrance and patients any of you need great in durance and patients can you say this The goal was greater than the toll. We're talking about Jesus the goal was greater than the toll the gain superceded the pain. The prize would dwarf the price. Little tongue twisters but Jesus kept His mind focused on where he was going and that's how he got through his crucifixion you know and there's another story about Jesus and what did he tell the man who was paralyzed he said Get up some of us are sleeping some of us are laying in bed some of us think that God is going to take us out and put us on our knees and make our lips move we need to get up he said to that man get out he had lame legs and he had to do it all on faith but we need to get up right can you say that I need to get up I need to get up God will turn our stumbling stones into stepping stones towards him if we get up right God will turn your steps stumbling stones into stepping stones towards him let's read this when we're together this is Romans 1212 be joyful in hope Haitian in affliction faithful in prayer we need to be what in affliction is that does that have anything to do with wait on the Lord how about faithful. How many of you need to have your faith tested you know if you don't work on your faith the Lord will give you some ideas of how to do that right encouragement all of you by the way is persistence consistence waiting is that easy is that why so few people do it and if I just do it because I'm counting to 10 it's not going to give me more energy we need to ask God to give us the strength in the indoor instantly but we need to hang in there right hang in there we are depressed toward the mark how do we know that because there's a bible verse on that takes some energy. I have a friend who told me that every Sabbath when they ask for prayer requests the people say things like pray for our young people pray for the Smith family the Brown family the gray family the the White family whatever that they will come back I'm just giving you some ad names I mean some common names she said that they will come back to our church so she said one of the things I do is I go up to them and say I notice that you're really concerned about the young people would you go out and do some visits with me well no I'm not going to do there I never did visit before and she said Well then would you would you mind if we call why don't we make some phone calls or write some notes to them and encourage them and she said they're never open to that she said I'm telling you it's my entire church now she has a small church so there's probably 30 people she said all $29.00 of them will not do it and she said but for years they continued to put in those same prayer requests we need to get up right we need to get up and press toward the mark there's a work to be done. Here we are going to read that Philippians 314 ready I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God and Jesus Christ no one day George Mueller I've never heard of him so you have strong tower radio and I've enjoyed his stories and they're beautiful He's a godly missionary man and he decided that he needed to pray for 5 of his friends and he pray daily for months but only one of them eventually came to the Lord he continued to pray consistently without getting discouraged and 10 years later one more of his friends became a Christian it took 25 years before the 4th man that I count miscount one of them Yeah well anyway 25 years before another man was saved now you really know what wait on the Lord means right and he persevered for how many of you are guilty of praying for something for a few weeks and then you give up that's why we need prayer books and prayer gener journals right Mohler persevered in prayer and another person came to the Lord just before his death and he was upset because he said The Lord did not give me that 5th person that I've been praying for that person came to his funeral and was so touched by what happened that he was dead and the man finally gave his heart to him and he's going to see him and have been right and I just need to ask you for your perseverance and prayer are you writing down things don't people ask you to pray for them all the time are you praying immediately when they say that so that you can continue to pray for them and like or write it down. Sometimes we have to move forward when it feels wrong to our emotions and some people do remember in the Old Testament they had to walk into the water being faithful before the water parted and then the Lord will change that for them and sometimes we need to do that we need to think about big Instead a little I've seen church schools where they they prayed that you know their school could open they didn't have the money and then suddenly there was all these people that came in and I have a friend who used to pray the prayer of j. buzz and she said you know we need more people to keep our school going and the kids got so that they were always tickled because one more was always coming to the classroom like we need to be praying and we need to see the victory and we need to recognize that the Lord is answering our prayers I thought I would read you testimony I often have people that come in for counseling and they have some spend some special stories and allies ask them could I use that in a seminar and so this woman wrote this down to me she said I've been through a terrible experience when my husband left home a couple of years ago he told me I don't want to be married to you anymore she said I was really hurt and then I justified it and I said it must be another woman or maybe he's got a drug issue I decided that I needed to pray for him and for me seriously too because I realized as I started to pray that I did have some issues too I began to pray for my husband salvation and for God to take care of him even though I was hurting so much that I really didn't feel like that you know to she's struggling with their feelings but up here she knows that she needs to pray for him I had many things to learn I know that I was quick to speak and I often heard his feelings and I was disrespectful and I really took that verse to heart that we were talking about in our counseling sessions about being quick to listen and so-to speak. I started leaving all of my problems at the family altar of finances work kids and my husband I was impressed to leave my spouse at the altar too because just accepting that God would work on him I wanted to control it and I realized that I needed to just leave him there at the altar and the Lord would have to take care of it I can't say that I even really wanted my husband back after a while because I was just so annoyed with him I'm here to tell you after praying a long and hard for almost a year that God answered my prayers miracle after miracle I received and I will not recount them all my husband started coming back to the house to see the kids and he was being friendly I wasn't sure I even wanted him back because I was hurt beyond belief but I kept praying about what should I do you see her struggling with her emotional intelligence versus her feelings and of course not everybody has an and happy ending to a story but this is one of those where the Lord the person was listening to the prayers I can confirm that my prayers surpassed all understanding in the Lord heard my prayer I feel my marriage is a miracle and miracle of miracles My husband finally moved back home and what a surprise he was never a person that went to church before but now he attends church with me my spouse actually tells me how happy he is with me I have changed too my mouth is quieter and I have been much more respectful and I've encouraged him and I try to complement him as well we have been studying and having devotions one night I was teaching a night class and my husband came to my class with a birthday card and a cake. He announced to the class that he wanted to publicly say in front of my students and I didn't know what he was about to say that I was such a great wife and he just wanted them to all recognize what a special person I was and he led them in a song of birthday kissing me and eating cake with everybody I was overwhelmed with emotion but it was all good emotions and I know that the Lord not only healed my marriage but he healed my attitude as well I like happy stories we all know that there are stories that do not end happily but we need to recognize that no matter how I feel or how frustrated I am that I need to be praying we dishonor God when we are whining we talk about our problems all the time rather than what God has done that was good for us Dhoni what is going on when we're going through our difficulties we need to realize that God sent His Son and he sacrificed everything for us and he's been very good to us and we need to not have self-pity self-pity will keep you immobilized so that your future is no different than your past you agree with that so let's read from James 57 Be patient then brothers and sisters until the Lord's coming see how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop patiently wait for the autumn and the spring so what if the farmer says to his wife after he plants the crops Let's move to California and see if we like it better out there he would miss out on what the harvest and if he stays Yes and learn to trust God for the rain and the sunshine and he gets to harvest his crap do you think that sometimes we quit before the Lord is able to bless us for what we were doing there are a lot of people that tell me all the Lord you know my church asked me to do this and then when they don't get pats on the back or they had a problem or somebody said something they're ready to just throw in the towel we are working for who. Yes not for humanity let's talk about how negative thinking can hurt our motivation if I keep saying I can't I can't I won't I just don't know what to do it's really hard so let's read this is from Ellen White. Ministry of healing page $251.00 ready nothing tends more to promote health the body and soul than does the spirit of gratitude and praise it is a positive duty to resist melancholy discontented thoughts and feelings as much a duty as it is to pray those professed Christians who are constantly complaining have not genuine religion ball so we are supposed to do what with melancholy when we feel moody and discouraged we're supposed to do what resist it it is as big of a duty to resist melancholy as it is to what Wow there are in the same paragraph and when we have genuine religion we are cast and constantly complaining we're giving God praise by. Some very important things to seen is the grass greener on the other side of the fence. Did you ever feel that your life was worse than other people's my mother used to say that when I would complain you know your life you know there's always somebody who's hurting more than you and if you don't quit complaining I'm going to make it worse than other people yeah did you ever hear that. And if somebody tells you you're their life is hard you could say compared to who. I think about all those people in paradise that lost their houses and people that are a natural disasters and you know and Christ was crucified for my sins and he certainly went through a lot can we suffer some discomfort can we. And still be faithful to Guy are we going to suffer more than we are right now are these little tasks are we are we going to pass them or if we don't pass them what will guide do give us more tasks right we are really needing to do that faucet limit God I can't take this what if I if I say I can't take this what happens I get more anxious more nervous and I'm watching for reasons why I can't take this if I say I can't do this then I start to only think about the issues that adapt to what I'm thinking Right I'm not comfortable with this do you think God can stretches past our comfort levels you know many of us I used to love talking about personalities you know the saying when the phlegmatic the melancholy. The cleric and I'm convinced that when we are Christians that God takes us out of some of our personalities and pushes us into others because we all become hospitality people we all become kind we all become trying to organize things for his service and I just think that he stretches us and we should not limit him perseverance isn't fun isn't but we are commanded to persevere and to press what that's right I can't think of anybody more resilient than my son Carlo how many of you know my son Carlo Ok you all know about him Carlos survived the amputation of a gang Grannis arm accident the abandonment of his father the murder of his mother physical abuse and beatings but he stayed focused his dream was to serve God and to be educated in the United States. And God blessed him it looked like he was going to starve to death there is going to be homeless or he was going to have any education or he was going to have a place to call his own or he was going to have any support and God bless him and he would the doors would open for Carlo because Carlo is a man of prayer and he's a Christian and he told me when he had all these terrible things and his father abandoned him and his mother was murdered he said you know I just thought that the Lord was crying for me I could just see Jesus just taking it for me like we need to think about it that way don't you and after hearing his story I wrote his book it's over there in the a.b.c. but it is an amazing story and right now Carlo is that the University of Missouri and he's in as he just finished his 1st year of his Ph d. in music education full scholarship and a teaching assistant so you can get through so we just need to not give up I know many of you have heard of Neal Natalie who does that 10 day stats stat depression no depression recovery program and he said that the patients that he gets in have terrible self talk and that they are very low on emotional intelligence when they come into the program but 10 days later they are higher on their testing of emotional intelligence than the average out there in the United States and he said that when we say things like I can't stand it or I'm miserable that this actually starts to change some of the chemicals in the brain and people get more depressed and it sets them up to fail and increases their anxiety and he said we can get on the other side of it if we recognize that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I can tolerate things so he has this song that he sings with people and I thought you would like to sing it I'm sure you know the song for a jocker right. So we are going to fight I can't stand it is and we're going to sing it to ferry Jack are you ready I don't like. I get it so Ok it's so k. I can stand it anyways I can stand it anyways I'm all right I'm all right let's do it again I don't like I don't like get it so Ok it so I can stand it any way I can stand it any way I'm all right I am all right so when you get really distrusts you have a little song to sing Don't you know I think it's a very hopeful sign I'm going to talk to you about your emotions we talked about it the other day the core emotions are anger fear sadness enjoy You can have a lot of emotions in between but know that those are your core emotions if you are. In let's say anger you know emotions and some people go oh I just wish I could be quiet not have any of these emotions emotions were given to us they were godly thing member be angry but don't send be like anger tells you that usually somebody is crossed over their boundaries and they're there you need to make protection or or you need to stand up for somebody or you need to forgive some whatever it's telling you something so you need to work on it and let it go you need to recognize that it's helpful because it tells you that you've got something to do and you need to be able to forgive people to Ok then there's another one which is fear. Fear might be telling us that we need to take protection we need to we need to hide we need to run we need to we need to figure out why somebody is threatening us or we we need to figure out why we're feeling panicked by the way sometimes we're not in danger and we feel panic anyway and that means that we're over controlling ourselves and we think that we can take care of things a lot better than God You see that we have to give it to God and some people live with so much fear and panic that it becomes a real hard. Trait that they have and a pattern and they need a little extra help men I'm talking about a stereotypical men often get that fight or flight when they have that fear and many of them like to a scape and sometimes they escape into wrong bad places and that does not help them because when they're done with their escape they come back to the problem and it hasn't been solved. I think I'll be turning my phone off here. All right keeping fear in our life can create problems like obsessive compulsive disorder social phobia generalized anxiety disorders and panic attacks we really want to make sure that when we're done dealing with our fear that we move forward into another area all right so then that leaves us with sadness now I'm going through these very fast you understand that you may be feeling some of these and you'd And I'm not saying that you know I just fixed it in 2 seconds we're just looking at some of it and visiting some of it if you're experiencing sadness what likely happened. You've had a lot on adjustment or a change in your life right and grief has many stages right 1st one is Shaq and next one is anger and the next one is is this orientation you don't know what you're going to do and then actually as you get through the stages you start to move forward there isn't anything wrong with taking time to grieve and grieving is is good for us when we go through it because if we postpone it then we have a problem which is the grieving stages last longer but then there's also that negative grief where we look backward and we over analyze and we keep asking why why why there are not answers to why all the time is there there was a researcher The did a really interesting study and widows again I don't want you to think I'm giving you the $0.25 version but I just want you to know about this it was interesting that they looked at widows and they found out that pretty much at the very beginning they often say why but after a few months half of them stat saying why and the other half started continuing to say why the other ones that stop saying Why start doing what what do I need to do now what do I do I need to go back to school what should I get rid of in my house what do I you know need to do on my career what do I need to do with my kids and those kinds of things and asked Are they watched him for 2 or 3 years they found out the ones who continued to analyze and and obsess about why this is not fair there's no answers to why we are all innocent for world those are the ones who had more anxiety and depression but the ones that said what actually were able to move through those stages and they had less mental health problems. Just an interesting thing you know the Lord gave the Israelites I was reading that now when Moses died he let the Israelites grieve he gave them 30 days they could cry they could wail they could talk about all their memories and then they were to be on their way and an interesting guy doesn't happen with all of us but it is like there is a time to grieve and a time to move on is in there as best we can and sometimes we need some help of all those emotions that we just talked about which one what were they anger fear and grief Yeah grief or sadness those are all I'm healthy emotions if we hold onto them long enough they hurt our immune system they hurt our stomachs our gastrointestinal areas like. They they take our immune system down as in we can get infections bacterial issues all kinds of things the only and most healthy emotion is Joy Joy is the only one that has no consequences joy actually makes the body feel better it lights up the brain it makes people feel physically healthy and God says that he wants to give us joy right now or use you to you teach your kids I have the joy joy joy down in my head the peace that passes understanding those are all good things because when we keep up with those other emotions it will take a hit a toll on us and actually they've been finding that you know not only does it set up people for anxiety and depression but it also they're starting to find some alls I am or his research that supports that people with some of those mental health issues have and develop it lots faster if you wake up in the morning and you have a bad day. That's not your fault but if you continue to have a bad day that's your fault because as soon as you realize that you're in a bad mood God is there and ready to help you move forward and he can replace your bad thoughts with a bible promise with encouragement you can also do the gratitude like a member remember that God wants you to feel joyous and so we need to continue to use our intelligence to think about what we're going to do instead praying actually lights up the brain it's one of the healthiest things you can do singing religious songs you know you look at the brain it's enhanced as the brain makes it very healthy there's all kinds of research on that you can look it up google it you can say when you wake up and you're feeling crabby this is the day what. I will and be it so just by talking it we can actually make it happen the Lord will actually heal our emotions isn't that exciting gratefulness stats bad attitudes by the way people usually who have a bad attitude are feeling sorry for themselves and you know life is really hard nobody ever trust me and they know they don't ever take me for serious or whatever we need to continue to think about that if you feel like you're in the darkness do as it says and cautions 3 to it says Set your minds on things what and not an I talked about that illustration you can't go forward in a car if you look in the rearview mirror. We have to look at the things that we will be discouraged if we continue to look down here it's like when you go to Google Earth and you see the whole planet it's so exciting you see it's so amazing to see God's help but then you keep on putting it down lower and then you see your country and then you see your state and then you see your city and then you see your house and then you see the dirt there is all this stuff to look at but you could focus on the dirt when there's heaven to be looking at. Romans 12 to purposely think about how God is and how God has a plan for your life to number he said he's got a plan for a future right not to what not to hurt us but to prosperous Did you ever have Did you ever sing that song I just feel like something good is about to happen that's like a faithful song I don't know if you know it does any of do any of you know it you know the Lord has given us many songs him and beautiful music make sure that you sing because it encourages you and it lights up your brain and it makes you healthy when Larry Alexander learned that he had 18 months to live his world came crashing down the prospect of experimental surgery offered some hope but the future was bleak his wife and then pregnant with their 3rd child faced the stress of having to raise their 3 children provide for the family and nurse a man who faced the prospect of losing his life. While most families would have cracked in the pressure the Alexanders did none back they later looked back on what did happen and they believe that stress brought them closer together Larry didn't succumb to the injury which threatened his life but he was never able to go back to work and work as a college professor or hold a job down this caused financial hardship and changes but they believe their family was in rich by their ordeal we don't have the money we used to have said Larry but most of the time we find ways of managing we're basically a very close family do you ever wonder why stress causes some families to break up while others are strengthen 2 researchers Dr Nick's Jeanette and John defraying began studying 3000 families including this family and they published their findings in a book that was in titled secrets of strong families and here's what they found families that survive often enjoy each other's company they worship together in church they're committed to each other and actually the Alexanders were normally in church 2 or 3 times a week unless her schedule was preventing it are there with a child at school and they also found out that families who have a commitment to each other appreciate each other and compliment each other communicate make time together have spiritual wellness and determination to oh that would cope with crises yeah they would refuse to take each other for granted and so they did better and so they said very important that people show appreciation to each other and hopefully you'll never ever face the stressors that the Alexanders did but recognize that you have a lot of things that you can do that will determine whether you'll be successful in your family which is emotionally intelligent family behaviors so what have you learned today anybody something that you feel that was practical that you could. Put into your life and you could think about that would be helpful for you. Regarding motivation perseverance anybody I got a microphone. On Yes This morning I got up but I realized. This morning when I got up I realized I was in a grumpy mood when I spoke to somebody and then I had a minute later during your make a lot to think about it and I said to myself self you can choose. Your thought patterns now and you don't have to be grumpy all day that's wonderful So you took that to heart anybody closer. I realized when I get up in the morning that before I go out the door I don't know if I heard this somewhere where somebody said this to me but I realize that there's like a coat rack thing in law on the wall and I can choose whether to put on discouragement and I can choose whether to put on happiness whatever coat I want to choose to put on I can put on as before I go out the door and I'll encourage you to put on your joy club clothes right Joy. Thank you there was one I'm going to take 2 more. I function in the business world and read a lot of those kind of business books that talk about interesting things and function in a leadership group all around the country and I'm very encouraged by this because this is some of the stuff that we're talking about in the secular world yes and I really appreciate that there is more scripture and that the answer you're saying is the answers are there and it's encouraging me that I need to dive in deeper here and make sure that I'm filtering what I'm reading in the secular world against what God has to say actually that secular world is also putting the Eastern religion in with it you know we need to be mindful and all the rest but these are biblical principles is there one more one more. Sorry to make you run all year. I have found in the past and I still do this in I think we all have had our shares of people that we dislike strongly and for whatever reason powers and principalities are in control and I have had to do this I a bother me that I disliked certain people so much power certain person and I said it to myself to pray for that person for an entire year nonstop and to pray that good things would happen to them that would be. Controlled by God And somewhere and somewhere during that time I don't know when I began to like that person. It is impossible to dislike even small on a small scale to dislike a person that you continually pray for men it is impossible to do that actually thank you viewer and them and I'll let that be the last trying to save our time but they know you mean one more there was a research project where they showed couples that prayed for each other for a month 30 days they looked at the beginning how they felt about each other and they looked at the end and those couples actually had much more warm and fun feelings for people when they were done it with the 30 days and they said that they wondered if the reason was that it was a non-Christian research or maybe it was because getting things off their chest made them feel better and emotionally healthier people made better relationships we know that God answers our prayers and that when we pray for them we have more nurturing compassion for them so yeah Ok Did you have one more Ok done Ok thank you so much for helping Let's read this and May the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow just as our love for you overflows and here's another one love is patient love is what it all ways always trust always hope always. Love never fails I wanted to finish with a story I am a big Facebook person because I love to share devotional thoughts on there and a woman wrote to me and I thought this was so special and it was from a church in another state this woman is wheelchair bound. And she attends prayer meetings every week she believes in the power of prayer but something terrible happened her husband was having a Sabbath school lesson and somebody came in and said something very harsh to him in front of everybody and he was so shocked that that afternoon he had a stroke she didn't know who was related and a week later he died and people you know were all like you know that person killed your husband she said no I'm not going to do it we don't know the Lord allowed certain things we need to not do that we need to not be bitter but instead of holding a grievance she said you know because she was a prayer woman of prayer she said I would like to start a prayer ministry and we need to pray for that person that was so harsh and we also need to pray she said we have a very troubled church she said we deserve being a trouble church we've had troubles for a long time and she said she went through her entire church which had been really going down in size and she said only 6 to 8 people were willing to participate not even their pastor would participate. She asked them to make a comment Mitt and to pray every day for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in their church and in their own hearts they were to pray for the pastor their local church and for their conference. She said We decided to connect our prayer to something that we do daily like an activity so we would be reminded and not forget to say our prayers some people was right when they got out of bed they were going to pray other people when they got on a freeway express lane or something sometimes it was when they walked into work they were going to pray and she said We held each one accountable and checked every week to see if everyone was still praying and she said the answer was yes she said 68 prayer warriors better than nothing and so she said we continue to go on she said we had been praying for the last year and she said we are not the same people on the inside that we were last year the last year she said it has been a year of total absolute miracles within the last year we have had an endless supply of miracles and we keep saying to each other wow that is so mazing and then God sends us another miracle she said don't make any mistake there have been many opportunities to find out that powers and principalities are not amused with the new order the day but there have been even more opportunities to see that God is in charge and more powerful than it already defeated she said we have former members who have not darken the doors of our church in years but now they have returned to our church she said we have watched barriers between us and our community dissolve she said nobody stayed after church everybody disappeared right after the church now we stand after church and she said we talk and we talk there may not be any potluck go on but people want to see each other and many times it's an hour or more before people go home and she said people linger and it's just shocking she said even our board members people don't want to go home from our board meetings what's that about she said they hang around and visit we are all tight friends she said We draw strength from fellowshipping with each other we love each other she says We pray every day sometimes several times a day she said Prayer changes hearts and increases our love for one another. Isn't that an inspiring story are you praying are you purser very Do you know what your goal is do you know what God wants you to accomplish this week do you know what he wants to you to accomplish this year are you forgiving people are you praying for your loved ones are you not giving up in despair are you praying for your relationships we need to keep praying we need to keep moving forward and we need to recognize that our emotions should not cripple us because God is so much stronger we can learn from our emotions but there gauge is not control right let's pray to your father we just thank you that you've been with us we thank you for the time that we are allowed to have in here I pray for each person here Lord that they will make a goal with you that they will surround themselves with supportive people that they will try and find people to pray with on this campus that they will be praying for the meetings the speakers the Lord especially for their own hearts because we know we're stony and that we need to soften and Lord you love us You take care of us and we want to go forward towards your cross so that we can be in heaven one day without all these issues around it and you only need. 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