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Rekindling the Art of Hospitality

Pamela Dysinger

Description

In this class we will look at the difference between hospitality and entertainments; why hospitality is on the decline; how gardening/ farm-life impacts hospitality; and how we can make our homes the center of influence God desires.

Presenter

Pamela Dysinger

Bountiful Blessings Farm

Recorded

  • January 17, 2020
    9:30 AM

Series

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Heavenly Father we thank you so much for the privilege that we have to come together to talk about something that I know is very important to you and that is hospitality and I feel that it is important just the challenges we've had and getting the presentation. Makes me know that it's something that the devil would like to foil and so marred we just pray that your angels would put a hedge around us and that our minds would be focused and that we would gain a blessing from on high and Jesus name Amen. So hospitality is something I'm just going to start without my presentation. I have to have something here to see I mean how will I progress ahead with. Well I'll just start talking and if they. All just. I'll just I'm not going to really get into it yet till you can see we're going to have to fly. Somebody is helping me I he went back to yeah we just saw have what we need I guess. This is always my fear and not a techie person I don't I I But anyway we're going to get into it just the same if you could see the 1st slide you'd see a picture of my table and it was given to us in they. Shoot $1006.00 probably so I've had it a while it's an opaque I mean it's an ash wood table and if I took a close up picture of it you would see it is very scarred and very marred and just recently I guess it was probably around Thanksgiving time I wanted to write to the person who gave me that table and thank them. And in the process of doing that I decided Well let me just calculate I mean roughly how many I wonder kneels I've had at this table now I'm a mother of 5 children. And so just that makes quite a few 7 of us. But then we have a lot we have a lot of this it hers So anyway I felt like I estimated on a conservative note. And I figured 80000 meals. That's a lot of food can you imagine how much money. About 80000 meals so as in preparation for this I started talking to the older generation when hospitality was something that was the norm. My father in law his sister they had a home and they had a home that was constantly open and my husband's aunt Ruth when I talk to her about hospitality she just went on and on she said you know I don't remember a time in my childhood when we didn't have someone living with us or we didn't have people around our table and she's in her ninety's now so that gives you some perspective of when we're talking about and it is so it was just delightful really to hear their memories and I said Do you have any regrets that your parents were that hospitable She said None she said was a huge blessing in my life and we've tried to do the same so she gave me the definition of her definition and just kind of didn't my so she gave me the definition I said it Ruth what do you think the difference between hospitality and entertainment is. You can think about that but we don't have time to entertain too much I'm just going to tell you what she said tell me if you don't agree she said entertaining is to impress. Hospitality is to bless is that beautiful profound home profound that is exactly what hospitality is so the title of our presentation today was why rekindle I mean rekindle rekindling hospitality so the question is why do we have to rekindle it. We have to rekindle it because life has changed a lot and now people are extremely busy Ok so there's the business aspect there's the fact that the media now holds this high standard you know you watch television I mean I don't watch television we haven't had a television our whole married life praise God for that what a blessing it's been but I still know what's out there we still travel we still see I still know the way it is because of the way it was when I didn't watch a lot of it it holds a standard of living that most of us don't live it holds a standard of houses that most of us don't have and it makes us feel insecure I mean I live in a barn I'll tell you I live in a barn and that's a whole different story it was an old tobacco bar in it and through the course of God's leading in our life we had to let go of our analysts that we had built and we renovated the barn it's a nice bar and no don't feel sorry for me I have and don't feel a bit sorry for myself it's a lovely barn. So there is that pressure the other thing is that hospitality can be a bit stressful. Not as stressful as technology but. It can be a bit stressful. It can be expensive Have you experienced that it's expensive to be a hospital and it's not really necessary today like it used to be so hospitality has become an industry. Right if you type into Google hospitality it's going to bring up the industry of hospitality and I have a slide here but I'm just going to groups. So just for interest's sake. Well let me read this to you this is out of USA Today modern hotels. Built with the sole sole purpose of providing hotel accommodations launched in American cities at the end of the 18th century New York's 1st hotel the city hotel opened in $1792.00 at the beginning of the 19th century America's 1st 5 star hotel the Tremont House in Boston began welcoming guests now listen to the things they tout as their what they have to offer single or double rooms. So locked doors. And washing bowls. This was very appealing to the wealthy travellers many famous hotels such as the Waldorf opened in the 1920 s. over the course of the 20th century business organizations and corporations took over ownership and management of most of the large hotels in the country so you know there we have now where we had hotels before now large corporations are taking over them. So I'll just give you a rundown of some that I found. The Kings in place trying to just ignore them and they that's what I'm trying to do. That the Knights in the hotel opened in 1974. Quinta and opened in 1968. I don't know what that one is some other hotel opened in 1995 days in 1907 the Red Roof Inn in 1973 Super 8 in my teen 74 so you see it was in the seventy's that the hotels became very much. Just a commercial business. So hotels aren't the only thing that have to do with hospitality The other thing is well we finally have it there is my barn house. Listen to this the origins of restaurants originally simple taverns for travelers served a limited range of food and drinks in basic surroundings so simple food simple drinks and basic surroundings in $1670.00 the 1st American coffee shop opened in boss. System and several nonalcoholic interesting that 2 nonalcoholic beverages were served during the 19th century an increasing number of restaurants opened across the United States and both cities and in both cities and towns restaurants welcomed a y. availability of commercially frozen foods during the fifty's and this led to the a more to more affordable menus in 1917 hugely the 1970s heralded the opening of the fast food right that's in my lifetime Ok let's see if we can get by here very Sam Ruth's definitions Ok so what does God say about hospitality and this Romans 12 is kind of a little bit of a it pulls it right out of the. Middle of a whole list of things that we should be doing as Christians kind of lifestyle things. But Romans 1213 distributing to the necessity of sayings and given to hospitality this is something that God says is important his people are to be given the hospitality but listen to this when they're 1st Peter. And again this is actually talking to deacons deacons are to be given to hospitality so the men in the room hospitality isn't just I mean they're to initiate hospitality so use hospitality. One to another without grudging Haven't you ever been hospitable with a grudge I mean I'm not going to lie but it has been in my heart at times but I asked the Lord to take it out. So there's so much we can say but because Can somebody tell me exactly I should know but what time does this class supposed to. Does it stop at 1030 Ok so I don't want to rush too much Ok so you know we could go on we could talk a lot about examples from Scripture right that were hospitality was given think of how different it would be if Abraham hadn't extended hospitality to angels and where Right. Walked what if lot had not insisted on having those men come to his house would they have rescued him probably not. Abigail that's one of my favorite stories her husband did not extend the customary hospitality that he should have and he got David and his men pretty upset and Abigail with that hospitable spirit came and just was like oil on the water. Mary and Martha if they hadn't extended hospitality where would Jesus have spent so many hours Mrs White has a bit to say about how Jesus found in their home such sweet fellowship so God does want us to be hospitable Here's a quote from the spirit of prophecy if you have God's presence and possess Ernest loving hearts a humble home made bright with air and sunlight and sure full with that welcome of unselfish hospitality will be to your family a hand to weary travel traveler I haven't been low so it's not just for the travelers it's it's for us too. So as we as we share quotes and as I share thoughts I want you to think back to those excuses of why we don't. It's expensive we're busy and I just want you to see you know our home isn't what it should be. I want you to just see that God is going to through His word attack every one of those. Objections thank you for. The privilege granted Abraham and the lot is not denied to us by showing hospitality to God's children we too may receive his angels into our dwellings even in our day angels in human form enter the homes of men and are entertained by them this next sentence is what hit me the most in all my preparation and Christians who live in the light of God's countenance are always accompanied by unseen angels and these holy beings leave behind them a blessing in our homes it is not just about entertaining the stranger it is not just about entertaining you know those in need this is talking about that will ship one with another how encouraging what and herdsman to me. That concept has been so I'm going to give you just some principles. I think I have for. That can help these have helped me I mean I will say this we have at our house all mot of company and many times especially probably in the early years I struggled with some of these things and the Lord would impress upon my mind this is not about you you know you it's your pride that is in the way that is such a big issue with us so these things are the things that God has taught me that have helped to make opening my home for you if you came as easy as opening it for my married kids when they come home and it's just that simple and that is to keep it simple and I want to tell you about this picnic that we had I wished I could share with your bit of the video but it's a good thing I didn't have that planned. This was are we in November John and kill of an I went to remain ia for the 1st European agriculture or conference the 1st European agriculture conference and this man on the right is someone we met their family when we had been in Rumania a year before and so we wanted to spend some time with them they were just getting ready to start a restaurant and that's a whole different story but. They took us to their home and I'm thinking what are we can eat for lunch you know I try to always think ahead for my guys because they're always hungry and kill of has Hala legs and so anyway in my mind I'm thinking you know we'll stop and we'll get something to eat at this this May and sorry this is name we're driving along and he's talking about lunch and talking about yeah well I think we'll just stop over there and all of a sudden we literally just pull off of the paved road into a farmer's field where there is all these hundreds of bales they just bail hay round bales and then what and they were really driving away across the field and I'm thinking does he know there's a restroom over there. I couldn't imagine what he was doing and he just stopped. In the midst of these hay bales there were 3 truck cars traveling together and they all started unloading and I'm saying Wow and here. They are they opened I mean we open our cars and we all brought out what we had I mean our bread I had peanuts that's an American thing I had peanuts to contribute but they had you know crackers and you know juice and super super simple but there was 2 families and we had a lovely time it was no stress very simple and. And very enjoyable We had lots of laughing and lots of fun poverty need not shut us up from showing hospitality. We are to impart what we have there are those who struggle for a livelihood and who have great difficulty in making their income meet their necessity but they love Jesus in the person of His saints and are ready to show hospitality to believe ers and unbelievers trying to make their visits profitable. This is an extension of that quote brethren and sisters invite to your home those who are in need of entertainment and kindly attention make no parade but as you see there necessity take them in and show them genuine Christian hospitality there are precious privileges in social intercourse and I just want to back up and say you know she uses the word intertainment she's using it in the way we do it you know Aunt Ruth said entertainment was to impress and hospitality was to bless but I would also add that. Intertainment means you're coming and I have to do something that's going to make you have a good time. I've got to create. Some activity I've got to take you to show you the sights of Nashville or you know I've got to entertain you and that's not what hospitality is about hospitality is about come on this is what we're doing you're welcome to join us. It was very interesting to us years ago we were at a camp meeting and we said to a family come see us sometime and they took us up on that and we got a phone call and they wanted to come visit us I kid you not we did not know this family well enough to even know the names of their children and they're coming in with you know what are their names and I none of us could come up with all the names I had literally called a friend who knew them and said Can you please tell me their names well this family travel and had very exotic vacations and they came in they spent about 5 days on the farm and their kids said to them this was the best vacation we've ever had you know guess what we did we were. We worked in the car then. We did it let's see that would have been like March or April so it was too cold to swim in the pond but we did play soccer and we did play games and you know we loved to play games and our family loved to play interactive games and so we did that and so all those things are just fun but they're very simple so the 1st key is to keep it simple. The 2nd key is to be authentic. And that's something that we have a hard time with usually Now you might think these pictures have nothing to do but that it's pretty authentic if you understand that picture so this here is. It is our blueberry patch. And you can't really see it because this was 2 summers ago when then it probably could have been taken this summer to. When the business of life just took over us and I mean we could not find hardly find the blueberry patch and we had this we have this terrible we Johnson grass and and this is those of you who knew him know about rhizomes you know they travel under the ground this is the root of that grass and I would trust you it's broken here this is not the whole thing I mean it goes it's terribly invasive but I say that because sometimes our houses are a bit like this you know and. Do we say no we're going to shut the door sorry you know I'm sorry I can't you can't see my math you know that we had the privilege of having a family come. Right before this conference they were coming to see our son and. I said that you know they can't stay in our house we're going to be gone we're leaving on Sunday and they're coming on Sunday so they came on Sunday and you can because when you're getting ready to go you know I mean everything is turned upside down and you know I just said Wow come on and fact I wasn't even there when they got there I had run up to see my daughter and that I knew they were going to come to the floor hadn't been swept and there was stuff all over and I just like you know. It's me it's my house isn't always the way I wanted to be and so when I got home she was very critical and you know John had been there to to welcome them but we have to be authentic. I mean why is economy and artificial customs that's that's not authentic artificial is the opposite of authentic unwise economy and artificial customs often prevent the exercise of hospitality where is needed and would be a blessing not just to the receiver but to the giver the regular supply of food for our tables should be such that the unexpected guest can be made welcome without burdening the housewife to make extra preparations that's something I'm still working on I that just being ready for extra at any time you know I think if we had that attitude God would bring those extras but because really not Randy. His hands are top aide. Let us. Untie. The Lord's hands. Here's a plea I implore you my brother in the end every place rid yourself of your eyes see coldness encourage in yourself a love of hospitality a love to help those who need help. You know all I think as we as we draw closer to Christ he puts in our heart that we love it just mounts the eye is you know I mean I can tell you when we were again we were at you I see. We were walking the streets and we met a young lady who was homeless and you know let me say this is nothing that I share this is not about elevating self I appreciated how Luke put it if anyone's been the last through our family or through us praise be to God. So anyway we met so in Lady and to her and she was begging she wanted money and we don't give money which is more difficult to be quite honest. Because it takes more of yourself and so I had. So we said we were going to be actually and we said well you can meet with us and so she did she came in she was the age of my daughter and it just broke my heart to think you know you do you can now not always trust their stories. But the story she shared with us was very heart wrenching and you know I know there are a lot of homeless people who really do need our help. One other situation about a homeless person my husband was at a delivery not long ago and a man came up just not one of our customers and just said can you help me when our car was stolen and we need we need to our money for a bus ticket we need to get to Nashville and we're going to such and such and and John said well I can't I can't give you that money but if you want me to take you to Nashville I'll do that and they said well we we're not ready to go today but and so my husband gave him our phone number and call me if you need a ride to Nashville well so he didn't even tell me that anything like that he doesn't I get a phone call on Friday afternoon from somebody say I met your husband in town yesterday and he said that he would drive me to Nashville to catch the bus all that sounds just like my good husband I love that he's given time hospitality. So I said well let me let me write he was working I ran out and I gave him the message that this man had called and. You know there's always that temptation. In the middle of something it's Friday afternoon you know that's why it's harder not to just give him the money anyway he just dropped when he was doing and he drove to Columbia half hour drove to Nashville an hour another hour drove home another hour you know they didn't ask for money they didn't ask for the bus ticket they had the bus ticket. God wants us to get rid of that I see coldness but it takes it takes time. All right so the 1st key is simplicity. The 2nd key is being authentic The 3rd key is gardening gardening is a key and I tell you these are strawberries I'm proud of what God does are they beautiful I mean we can't make them like that I mean we take them to market everybody grows all market growers pretty much for the same Brighty of strawberries and people think yourself that strawberries I've tasted other ones of this market and what all I can say is praise God These are prayed over berries that's one thing I can say. Praise God But when we take those to market they're not always that abundant they're not always that overflowing but we get $4.00 a pint for those. Let me tell you my family and their own a flat of strawberries 12 pints just like that. I could earn afford to give you stroppy or use if you came to my house. And once I grew them and I should have the Conan here that Mrs White if you're not familiar that you find it she says that we can all eat like kings and queens and there are so many times when we have sat around our table and I have looked at the food that God gives and thought it's number one so beautiful Number 2 it's so plentiful. Number 3 we grew it so it's affordable it's affordable to us so I have up just before we came I had some company now it's only 3 at home now Ok so. I'm going to tell you what we had for lunch the 10 of us there were 10 of us. I used to make our lunch we had greens 5 bunches of greens those greens would cost $15.00 I'm not going to put it all up here because if I wasn't I didn't have time to get it in the right order someone to tell it to you and then I'll show it to you for the punchline Ok So 5 bunches of greens organic greens that's $15.02 pounds of organic corn that I had taken out of the freezer I mean conservatively that's $5.00 or get a car and was I don't never bought certainly know what it costs. Organic salad I did 5 bags of 4 ounces each so that's $15.00 These are the prices that we get in their market prices. Organic radishes and organic turn eps that's another $5.00 organic writes $3.00 organic beings $5.00 so now that gives you an idea I had this is for company we had 10 people so we had beans and rice that is common fare at our house especially when I have company especially when I have company and we had with that begins in rice a big salad and corn. And I just because I think I have time I'm just going to interject who that company was so our family has had the privilege of being involved with death row inmates in Tennessee and the man that we visited for 15 years and mazing godly man 7th Day Adventists for over 20 years. A man we aspire to be like was executed by the state of Tennessee in May that has had such an impact on our life that that privilege and so since his death we have as a family been kind of looking at the Ok You know John and I are saying how how do we want to be involved with the prison now because we have our the last visit that he had with outsiders other than his lawyer was with John and the warden granted us well John was his spiritual adviser so he was with him all the days up to execution but the warden or warden allowed me to go in with John for the last visit just a few hours before Don's execution and when we asked him why you know what do you want there what's your final charge for us he said don't forget the men on death row and so we've committed to that. That hospitality is hospitality wherever we go whether happens in our home or whether we take it how it is hospitality and so we've just been really praying about how to be involved with this. This need and so we invited the a lady who's involved with alternatives to the death penalty and so. We had gotten to know her through the execution time through the lead up. And so we told her we'd like to have you out to our house come out and have a meal with us and and let's talk about how how we can be involved so our whole family was there and she was there with us. So. I got a little sidetracked there but that's how that's that was this $1010.00 people to a meal so the meal if I had purchased it would have cost $48.00 So here's here's my cost. $8.00. Do you think that you could afford hospitality like that I mean that's less than a dollar a person for a meal because we grew the Greens we grew the corner and we grew the salad we grew the radishes in the turnips you know and some people is that well you know you did work it wasn't free food Well that's true but God has encouraged us to be in the garden and I believe that part of the reason he's encouraged us to be in the garden is because he has called the us to the ministry of restoration and that ministry of restoration needs to happen in our homes in the confines of our homes restoration and hospitality go hand in hand right so it's the gospel that we've been given that's that that scripture as I think 1st Corinthians 5. I should know I but 14 some something in their 1st or 2nd Corinthians verse 5 damage chapter 5 Verse 14 that we've been given the ministry of reconciliation and so that ministry is about hospitality but here's the thing that I love is that. For every bidding he gives the enabling right so I want to ask you something how many of you are familiar with the concept of 2nd tithing. Some what I'm going to tell you a little bit about it so the concept of the 2nd time I was something that God gave to the church. In Israel and it was for the purpose of joining together for the feasts and so it was God's way to provide for making sure that people would come gathering for the feasts and. And for the poor to be able to join in the feasts so God gave the command for us to give the 10 percent for the Levites and then the Free Will offerings but beyond free will offerings is the 10 percent that he gave he asks the children of Israel to give for these gatherings but not for the gatherings alone and this is what I love this is this is about 2nd tithing every 3rd year speaking of the 2nd time I however this 2nd time I was speaking to be used at home in entertaining the Levite and the poor as Moses said that they may eat within my gates and be filled Deuteronomy 2612 this time I tied that would provide a fund for the use of charity and hospitality Here's another one this time well sorry and that's from before this tie the would provide a fund for the use of charity and hospitality the contributions required of the Hebrews for religious and charitable purposes amounted to fully one 4th of their income so having attacks upon the resources of the people might be expected to reduce them to poverty but on the contrary the faithful observance of these regulations was one of the conditions of their process they are a t 20 it is one that I can just get so excited when I. Talk about God's economy his economy is about prosperity and it's about taking the little that we have and multiplying it you know don't ever feel that you can't bring somebody around your table because you don't have enough food invite them anyway and you just watch God always multiplies what is there I don't think we ever have to worry about that so God has provided for us in so many ways and I want to challenge you I had I was going to print out for you but in the end I decided no I want to challenge you you need to make your own study of hospitality go into that Alan White. White writings online where you can you can. You can reduce the search to her life works I always when I do a study I always try to to get that come the compilations which have their place and are a blessing but I try to to get to the original sources or the things that she wrote in her lifetime there's still quite a bit of. Of duplication there because she wrote for the review or she wrote for signs of the times. So there's a fair bit of overlap still but go in and make a study of hospitality there's a lot there's not a huge amount but there was maybe I went through about just under $300.00 quotes and no such encouraging it and i also a lot of them came from the testimonies because she would write specifically to specific people who needed counsel and I often wondered and challenge you to read the testimonies desire of ages these things were given for. Us to to share but the testimonies were given for us as a people and this year I've committed I'm going to listen to them audio but I often think when I'm listening to them who when I feel like that testimony came to me you know would have the humility to accept it and so when I read them I sometimes think about it being made especially the ones that I read I think that's me and I go back and think Ok do you. You know all except the Lord help us to to have a horrible spirit so. We have a few minutes for for a question and answer I'm going to share one last I love gathering one liners that's kind of one of the things I love to do in my devotional time whenever I read because it's just like well it just hits you on you know something like You don't need any of the you don't need to remember anything else that I have said but here is my one liner that I want to leave you with from the science of the time it's hospitality should be practiced I mean I don't think I could say it more simple. It's it's it's something that God asks us to do it's not something that really maybe want to do but I think just there in the quotes we've read the things that we have addressed finances are no excuse. I loved Luke and Sean taze message yesterday about that when Luke said I want to have them home and. Have food and he said to her you know what he said well I could go ask him oh no no no I mean that for your fur to have that's hard to have your mother in law feel the need that your husband wants to be felt. But his comment while the Bible tells us you can go in ask for the bread do you know Mrs White has a quote where she specifically addresses that and she says. If you don't have go to someone who does and ask them to help you feel think even I mean you of us would feel comfortable about I mean I live in an on a family farm my mother in law is there and John's parents live there his brother lives there and I mean if anybody could go to their neighbor to provide a need for hospitality I could do that and I have sometimes when I don't have what I mean we were free to share on the farm but. Yes maybe challenge that maybe inspired that God It desires our homes to be a center of influence and you need to ask God exactly how does how do you want that to live for me so are there any questions that one here. The basic question is if your home is dysfunctional is not an excuse but yet we were just arguing. I remember we talked about being a tick it's not you're not going to invite people because you have it all together and you're perfect so in that case if we were in that situation and we were having stress in the home and we knew we had somebody coming we would it would be much and I don't remember this happening like with the kids but but sometimes you know with my husband and I or whatever this is what I would do today Ok we would just Neil and say Lord forgive us you know forgive us for. Just what happened we know you are wanting to discourage we know you want us to do hospitality we know the devil is seeking to discover. And so you just have to surrender and you know when I fall I shall rise when I said darkness the Lord shall be a light in me so don't wanna you know that Mitt you're wrong ask forgiveness and go one it's that simple you don't have to wallow in it so so don't lead. Don't let the. I don't don't let our weakness our human weakness keep us from being hospital but I do want to say this I have known families and I have known couples who had such problems getting along that they are the best thing that they could do was always to have people with them now that also I would have to I would have to caution against you don't want. It. You can't use entertaining 2 to cover up some internal problems so if there are internal problems by God's grace and by his strength sort them out and get help don't wait until you have a volcano just when you have a little hill work it through Ok so don't use entertainment and hospitality as a pacifier or a bandaid to cover up some other deeper issues I knew someone and when they were close to me and when they divorced they said to me why do you think we were always with other people. So that's a balance Ok question or. Did I give you 3 And but I didn't have a you know maybe. I think that that's all I have I wavered with the last one I think what it was was that the 4th one was the 2nd tie that I realized that really wasn't a point and so I took that off so that was my 4th but that's God's solution right the for us the 3 points are simplicity authenticity and the garden those are the things that we need in place to help make hospitality more possible a questionnaire. Ok how do we handle guests when. So when when we have guests they come and and they have children who are blue tie as well I'll tell you how the day singers handle this very simple we have no white firehouse. And I'm going to recommend that to you that was a very intentional on our parts you know we did we did our best the best that we knew how to do at the time to keep our children safe and that is for us we don't have good service where we live and so we use our phones as our hotspots I know all of your from all your with that concept and so in order to have service at my house I have to put my phone in the window and turn on my hot spot for you and so that for us really I think was a shield of protection for our children because they didn't have the ability now when they got their own phones when they were older. Then we had to deal with it other ways but. What would I do if I had that challenge. You know I would I think that I would have to just ask company especially those with children you know all. If you would I mean how do you say. When we get our crack in our home we practice Well let me just say this My husband and I we want in our home when we have children we have grandchildren we want to know device we want to know device rule and I think our kids will be Ok with that we don't want our grandchildren and our children to come and see us and just be on their phones all the time because at some point we might have you know the Internet in our house but you know in the world there's that concept put a basket by the door. Please put your device in here as you and this is a device for a home we want to get to know you how do we you know we want to get to know you so you want to you want to state it as positive a said way as you can you don't want to be negative and you for sure you don't want to put them down for their parenting philosophies but in your own home you have the right you have the privilege of setting the rules and you don't have to call it a rule you can just say in our home. We're device free. You know we don't we don't have our children on devices and so it appreciated if while your children are here you could maybe just put the devices away and I have plenty of toys that our kids can interact and get to know one another just. Yes So just an observation and I think it's a very good one when our children were little we were trying to to not just. They didn't just run off and play with other people's children you know we're trying to make activities. As a family we try to do things together so we have to that's a principle to be proactive don't get into a situation prevent it from happening Ok check it just try to. Say Also what do you do with other people's children who are. Maybe a little more rambunctious and a little bit more. You know all of these things have to be handled with such grace you know and so for for me the outdoors is the solution you know and my husband would often take part of a large part of the responsibility when we had company because he would take the kids outside and I would maybe have things to do inside but so again being proactive having something planned. And it's you know sometimes if you feel comfortable with it and you feel like you can. You know just get on down on that little one's level and say you know it in and I have the you know do that at my house you know jumping on the couch you know my house we don't jump on the couch I appreciate if you wouldn't jump on the couch so if you do it in a nice way parents aren't usually offended that the challenge is if you're if you don't handle it in the right way and then you have parents mama bears who are going to impact Ok Bernie. Oh you'll have lots of tough questions. Living in close proximity where you have people with different values and friends with. Relatives well. I mean I am the mother of the family farm and they're between my children and my nieces and I have a nephew and niece and each of their families and my mother in law and all of them know about that and I think that you just have to again you know you have to go to the Lord and ask for wisdom but sometimes. You have them in their association even if it's family and that's a hard thing but you you're responsible for the long and you know if you have a neighbor that's. You know you don't want to be unhospitable but you have to also have some boundaries that protect your family and so you know like for my youngest. You know if he had he has friends around that it was an understanding that you come by invitation you know you don't just you don't go by and Fantasia without invitation and they don't come without it and been taken for the most part now as he's grown older you know and I mean he. Things change Ok there are seasons where you have to really be you know. I don't say more careful that sounds bad but that's the truth when you have little children you know but as they grow and they and your confidence in their good choices grows yes they should have more freedom you know we don't want to you can't just keep them like this otherwise you can have a big problem so I think that's really. Maybe one more. Alcohol it's all right so on the 2nd tide I would encourage us to study again it's very clear Deuteronomy it's very clear that that tie that was for the 2nd time I mean it even. Says that attempt is for the Levites Levites But then another tent was to be given to bringing the poor and to go in you know to being able to attend and I'll tell you we didn't always use the 2nd time in that way but there were times where our family would not have been able to attend any spiritual meetings if it weren't for that 2nd tie that we felt free to apply to being able to go to that so and then as far as an adult children. When when you have adult children that are living at home I have children adult children living at home to lower their marriage into their twenty's. And when we had company I didn't have the same I gave them liberally in all their Stoltz they have a life of their all and they have maybe businesses of their own and so we need to just be very careful in how we handle adult children who live at home and you know obviously you know my my kids were always attend worship and if we had company they would interact there or meals but. Expectations and that's a whole different topic but expectations really kill relationships I'll just say that where we can give it liberty and not have a lot of expectations our relationships will be much better. All right let's let's just close with a world of prayer. Father in heaven we just thank you for being such a loving and merciful Father you. Are to be honored and glorified in our lives and us and we want nothing more than to reflect to you we want nothing more than to do as you've asked us and that is to carry a message of reconciliation to the world and so father I just pray that you would. Help this message to be applied in whatever way you know those bags each of the individuals. Says. This media was brought to you by audio verse a website dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about audio verse if you would like to listen to more sermon leave a visit w w w dot audio Verse dot org.

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