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Broken Marriage, Mended Heart!

John Kelly


John Kelly endured a rocky marriage for eight years until the relationship ended in a divorce. Yet, this disappointment caused him to grow closer to God, and as a father of two, he eventually started praying for a wife. After much prayer, he was providentially led to meet a woman with a similar experience who would eventually become his wife and partner in ministry.


John Kelly

Physician, Founding President of American College of Lifestyle Medicine



  • October 1, 2005
    6:15 PM
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original data is there all courtship marriage and the error since God created mankind mail and e-mail is in this marvelously scariest attraction between the fact that and of course the devil is no longer grades R this wonderful blessing and is becoming many cases in many ways the course of the world is the fact that there's minimum premium but on the other hand the greatest thing and it was part of God 's original design we think this topic is pertinent for Mary as well Monday that spyware J another the audience is below nonsense mixed and you know how light counsels us and apologized by the way I can look up references later but all of our books are in Virginia and so I was limited Logan come over this by your recognize that only come with us to continue the courtship in early infections throughout Mary it using that and and we believe that's good advice indeed and we wish we could get more generously but nonetheless it is good advice no sign I guess over twenty six years of marriage this coming December but our children are in their mid- thirties of the thing on arithmetic and that's because we both were not raised Christian and a person marries was formed after the ideas of man and and while we were not Christians and rather than on God 's counsel and are real really I sincerely greatest evening is that and always is that each of us interview will like God direct why is the most important area of courtship and marriage you probably know that the divorce rate is reported I don't notice her home I is recorded in the divorce rate among advances really about the things in the world and this tells me that something very is is drastically wrong something something is greatly out of the way when doing marriage in the seven MS church and we think a lot of it has to do with the way were doing courtship and him you know I promise that we will be more radical than mitigate by the registrar we want any more radical navigates and we might be as radical as I think that is God 's people which is not listening and and an opening which is not when I listened to the counsel without submitting to the Council no of iWork and less on medicine I've been working ever since we were on got a great widget here sorry about tonight we've been working health education and you know this issue areas in a person 's life is getting more protective of then there will be in the way they go about our souvenirs for these of this is the very personal intensely personal thing and an people very defensive about it we are we people of God has the given us instruction and he's given us instructions both of these areas it is very detail in someone's the so we want to talk about that you know whether we wanted me and I want to be in the center of God 's will or ugly that's where you want to you know really that is the only place of true happiness immunity only place at this truly say is in the center of God 's will was read in my one cent on the centerline in the narrow road will may this is supposedly what Adam said what he saw even as I doubt that he was acquainted with these type of expletives that nonetheless it is clear that Adam was taken with you and I'd like to add is the man that he was quite taken with Adam and so from the beginning God created us male and female musical closer I like the fight was intentional even this intentionally he couldn't speak automated out so that he appropriated by himself and then we know there are beings that you know there are organisms that are a social thing they are it won't having offspring all by themselves we need to make is that way now is intentional and so if you haven't thought about that that that one point alone you could spend sometime this next week thinking about warning when he did what was his intent and didn't even know all the problems of the house are all the blessings even as a marvelous attraction maybe you have noticed that there is a real milestone is up there with someone there is that there's an attraction that we don't it's almost instinctive you don't have to be taught John why the opposite sex that's a general thing I was on the talk tonight address homosexuality is another topic but the vast majority one saying is is a reality when you have you noticed that boys and I like girls that I know I'm financial of well-educated group medical background studies on education and knowledge does not keep us from him like being blind to some of the obvious thing resemble males and females are different physiologically there different anatomically then different psychologically they view reality differently day and we would go through much of our life especially after marriage ignoring that is crazy I is because I had to learn some of these things that the mice had a hard way but there is a difference in its fundamental and is really interesting is that when the sites of my medical training amongst the many interesting things it's interesting how the process embryonic process that actually produces this difference we don't fully understand it but as a number of things that we know in the corpus callosum the connection between the right and left hemisphere in females is larger than in males for example another other interesting things in God 's plan man leave father and mother are not getting timely in order to try and tell you about two and half years of our life in in a few minutes were really struggled main thing we try to do today was to figure out how to do this quickly and I'm sure in run out of time and we do you just leave our callous times up anyway Janice we read that in man man leave his father and mother and he cleaves to his wife I ended to become one flesh and out and in a sensory exam I can be literal but in the bananas since it is literal I want to talk about that some and with the ventilator in my yes you know the marriage at this marriage thing is much more than a physical union I know I know you know that intellectually but it deserves some real careful because before the union occurs the thing that seems to easily overshadow everything is visible and it's interesting to talk to people who been married for a number of years you will find that at that point the physical note the danger is that the physical becomes lower nothing becomes a battle over the will is who's in charge again on a godly home right now this time under normal average relationship between man woman I thought that physical being everything which is lies the infatuation then after the narration infatuation by definition infatuation dies actuation it last aside speculation evacuations in short-term emotional thing so we found it unavoidable we wish we do have a relationship involving activation of it but again and so it will for you Gerard has for you to add and so just how I wait for that pass are enjoying it for everyone set and then you get to the to the real relationship which is based on the online what are we better than the root binaries in a male-female relationship is much more visible on includes physical nonvascular life instruction in Matthew nineteen which again I want trying to develop higher mind to his words reading verses three to twelve it says the Pharisees came and testing him about Moses long-lasting is unlawful for men get divorced and he and he basically said no enemy there was one exception and they really pushed him hard on that instead of softening up the actually a little harder and he actually ended up saying inverse well that some men are made eunuchs by men and some were called of God let him who is able to receive and receive he did not say well you know the rest of his situations of meeting marriage is fraternity Mary has eternal consequences of the relationship the two become one flesh this is not a it's not like a jigsaw puzzle you service it could easily get on again that they don't fidget to take apart so sorry that this is the reason that we think this is such an important topic while my first marriage only lasted eight years McCain is today that's because preventive maintenance that was awful the best thing to come out of that narration of oversized two beautiful children was my conversion to Christ interestingly enough but then Sally and I should experience marrying a person outside of you outside of his daddy who brought us to Christ and it left us anything in a way that was a government that was really a blessing very sad experience was a blessing two years after my divorce I myself feeling the need for a wife and a mother for those single-parent and I have been living with my son in relatives with relatives to provide some family this wasn't working oh well I had different ideas about how I'd raise my son then my relatives did and everything and so this morass of a series of Providence is God showed me that my ex-wife who that time was actually waited from her second husband of she really wasn't human reconcile and I turned my face to find God 's provision elsewhere and I would call a couple of us tonight I told you before so you know that I was not raised Adventist always came to my virginity in my mid- twenties I was an antagonistic agnostic in arms evolutionists all that reason was supreme and when I did come to understand I was created one key thing that struck me and still sticks with me is I don't know anything before I was great I thought I knew almost everything that chose the right I realized I didn't know anything about how to go out or how to come in I knew what the world thought I knew what bit you know I know how to play the system I know that a fairly successful in that system I knew nothing about reality and so you may find this humorous but it's been a lot understand how this didn't matter what I was needing to do a Christian I went to the Bible and ask not how you did it out of the Christian do this as a Christian bicarbonate prescribe us question okay can we find out Christians do this it also studying and reading Frank has written my car I did buy a newer car in the Bible that lots of instruction about how to do business and I did it very differently than I had done it as a non-Christian and so not surprisingly when I say playing a married as a Christian Holyrood Road I want to know anything is the first thing was move understanding of the Bible and thank God for the spirit of prophecy I was so so thankful it was so helpful what I found was that while presenting wanting a second mistake and in fact reality was I realize you already admitted the divorce the rest of my life and returning them to me and was a mistake to make because why not because I be making somebody miserable and not just me maybe bad enough to make myself invisible yet but will make some lovely Christian person visible so I really I really wasn't while I sense the need to get the havoc on America I was in many ways reluctant to do this is the hardest most difficult sobering thing that ever whatever the engine when I said it either I came to learn that God 's ways are very different than it had ever heard value I know this in but it was nothing judgmental and you get the relation does it regulate us that's okay the seminar starts in some principles but but no one before I became a Christian dating was uneventful we don't we all did and as far as I know everybody in my code to do that dating dating was easy glaze candidiasis treatment for worldly guy it was trying to get intimate with this girl and most of the girls seem to be trying to avoid that without him without becoming unpopular and that was not good enough population working on maybe you've never had a expense is wonderful and then your newborn is whirly as I was but I can tell you that not and that's not Amber in worldly girl anyway invalidating junior high in the marble I asked if they were fun and it doesn't happen my best plan at all so I was voting for a guy because I actually was never very comfortable like I was never good to have Sri Lanka's I do know is why he couldn't do it so unlike that it had to go through that in a pronounced Christian why was that will actually have not been surprisingly very dependable to him when I became a Christian and I learned about the Sabbath are realizable as the world doesn't know anything much about God 's will and God 's way of any most world things that Sunday is the samurai and I thought that was all wrong solid and real surprise that God 's way of courtship was greeted from dating you what I learned I learned that Isaac 's marriage was the best example because the closest example what God had in mind for advice regarding Mary this is not his jealous of others but the but the business initiatives were not married and you mentioned that Isaacs marriage is held up to us as is the best example of how God 's system is implemented and so I stated that the inside out May I send it until I get quoted verbatim notes from memory I acted the value very well what transpired because I really wanted to fully understand that that model tells a thousand software engineers coming in him is suffering hips grammar and when I became a Christian I just apply manuals and concepts if God had designed again then it was logical and reasonable if I study the manual I could figure out how it was supposed to work so it didn't take me long him realize that my father was not my father was an ambulance that I have Abraham about my dad and he didn't have a genetic drift and serve no easier to go in and in due this important mission records is interesting that that Isaac didn't go looking I had my own do not go dating single looking at Jesus a six-day haul I suspect a great deal of prayer and and pray that God would bless them easier that's what I'm preparing for my within his and the that Godwin signally blessed the Eleazar in his and his past and the liberty this is the same young man who submitted on the author right when he submitted to be offered up without I have a few and this applies you he was alive and well this is so this is a man who learned submission by the way he wasn't yet he was forty you know that our enemy he was a young man is used for our section thirty one hours younger than him is also but he was forty and he is and it was time to get married and knowing that his father not go and find me a payment I made not to his mother not go find a name assortment we have something to learn about submission selling some books in print today how many I'm existing often is trying to accomplish God 's will our way to the Ishmael basically the problem in the Middle East a large extent is result of iMovie on the problem with Hagar and trying to implement God 's plan man's way in which and I'm together good I think you probably object and we try to do God 's will somehow make this happen this is in trouble we have to learn to do is to lay no electron in a sense let God do not and anyway I will I understood these things very well and I was very loose chicken in your moods I was my knees were knocking I was thinking about the hours and have to do Eliezer 's job and my dad and have lots of energy happening when the infamous Aaron and and so I prayerfully decided to realize I would have to be Eliezer 's task and we need your divine the main but then I was encouraged because and I realize how he did it like that it is related by the event gifts and things after I took a little over a present in the grams line that was waiting to know I'll be visiting anywhere and you read in Genesis of the unease twenty four summer he agreed and how he was he was so fearful member was totally adequate AA pray the Lord I want you to do a miracle and should so I can't show my on my master Abraham Weber and and you don't reveal the meeting to me that you have mine nobody here when I get right away it was not a single person in this story they had any doubt that God had amazing so guys the guys if God has in mind for your partnership have no fear she has made than the one in the story was wondering while one of the domain they were looking for the main event I have found that the island club for the reason in the bath it turns out in this one myself the website was that all I will remember you when he had the book bellman and I went to the well I was not as smart as a good place to go maybe I'll come to the well that's in the accounting of why he wasn't dumb but he was submitted he was halogen submission to God without he went to the well when it would be maidens and but if you have there's a lot of you meetings out there so it's it can be bewildering and of his when a Christian Nagel my goodness of styles and though how do you know which one so he went to the well pray for a sign and we went and did you notice this winning when the maiden came and did exactly what he had tried what happened is allowed right down to lose and praise God is first deleted in hockey may need say the just a Chicago notice of strength this is just a unusual behaviors praise God for answering his brain he was so happy and I he didn't even know who she was you know he did she really was okay he had useless to get a maiden of the same family right of Abraham and he didn't know yet all around try to point out is that when we're in God 's will submit to God 's will we see the fulfillment of his will we recognize that God got to do that and we just kind up and find out at strip playing its submission you know it's our submission that enables godly miracle it's not we don't do miracles we can't but when were submitted God does miracles so I determined that I would follow God 's model in his plan Isaac and the hotel you can relish the task I do this I knew that while a lot of money and is originally been in this world is one I did I didn't want the smartest one I want the feed previous line I don't want the tallest one item of the shortest one I didn't want that anything is one I wanted the one that God had planned for me and whatever she was I'm sure that he had prepared me to be very thrilled when did you stop to think that when God made even brought Eve to Adam that is how Ptolemy can consult at him a bit we just brought this woman and he was it was perfect that was the so was the Lord my God no humidity to yourself what would you want what you need will make you happy and so you don't you can invigorate out as well as he already knows it so I think NEDs activities of uninhabited know how to I do not have to figure this out I just had to submit and let God do okay so I think while a similar thing here and then I sounded to tell a little bit about our how we came to be pointed in our the course of our worship yell in the light of Eleazar model I was following I I pray that God would would indicate his choice but as I prayerfully considering a show this is apparently considered the possibilities wanted it was a versus okay since I was in my divorce is two years or more and support either of a few women have eligible ladies and come across my path inside of a person who is as elderly in your click okay let's look at those same as a cop possible he's already shown me to make nice I was in tune with the media 's estate I'm not listening but with a little will my sister was always kind of put some in my way and in my pathway having talk until I told her one time she stopped immediately never do again I see you trying to get me to commit adultery I still have not divorced my wife you know that were told that many people who are divorced according to the law the land yet Marion God 's sight in my opinion I was unfaithful and not agreed to divorce my wife even though I was confused by the fact she was married to someone else but Hosea Anglo-American and so it's is not black-and-white I cannot turn this I'm not as I was faithful to my ex-wife you watch American unmanned because I was wanting God 's will more than anything so when my sister realized that she quit your trying to put you in touch with the lady and I really appreciated greatly nonetheless I like to dismiss I think mentally most designers in when I was in prayer alone with God I want names seem to come often to the forefront and then and I can still remember many times thinking about this name person I met and I thought another but that can't be God 's choice because we're not currently not compatible with this woman I had met her casually was working at the hospital she was all excited about your work in and down the time I was even more strident and I am now and I was very much into a self-supporting medical missionary work and I really thought hospitals were probably part of the problem and I believe the solution and so I I can imagine being partnered with someone else I knew enough of seeing her I knew her her standards like dress and some other things were not like my own thought Lorne will you like me I know you would make changes in their life so that we read compatible as I wouldn't even contact person during them but I do remember that coming across my mind and heart in my prayer okay so I wanted as Sally who to share some of the highlights about how how how we met how are courtship in our relationship and I would probably already on a time but I'll know when the time you would you have a closing prayer and then anyone listening they will finish more than Egypt I appreciate your coming to start out and I know you have there today as okay and I'm impressed that you're here out I wanted to share that even though I had how any divorce and that's very painful and I had become efficient thanks to my ex-husband who wasn't backslidden Seventh-day Adventist and had brought me to the Lord he has not regained his Christian walk and after six years he went a separate way and I was devastating to make out even I have become a Seventh-day Adventist pal is very nominal in name only in many ways but God is good to us even though we are not totally submitted and surrendered he works with us where he finds us at times of Feingold for that because when my husband last eyes suddenly realize scientists for myself I was already working everything that I always wanted to work at the seventh day Adventist hospital my husband said now that it would involve a pay cut so I haven't been able to do that all the sudden I number one while maintaining silent reply to the hospital guide dog in the yard love dad loved working with people like trying to help them and so I said everybody I will retire here and two years later somebody introduce new Weimar and I thought who was an interesting model and finally the blind Weimar and they kept in the end so I went out there on staff and an long day and believe I left border hospital I was working in Denver and so here I am in California now what when I was back at quarter right after my divorce my husband came into town to see his mother on Mother's Day well she only had three sons and daughters and all of her only Adventist daughter-in-law position our very very very close so we stuck together in church every Sabbath and the North normal and that is now going to church and trying to do right and the Lord the Holy Spirit was working with me and so here I am mother states in nineteen seventy seven but divorcing my mother-in-law a church my mother had just passed away shortly before and I'm sitting in church wondering where she has caused a lot of enough because her today and she doesn't and I'm just sure she's can be there I looked around seeing them with some fellow and his mother husband that he nevertheless turns enzyme is my mother-in-law and the busier I get out but now my computer the back and sit with them she's sitting with John Kelly he works at control data in New Mexico which is where my ex-husband now works and my ex-husband found out he was a Seventh-day Adventist and him or not sorry for him that he had tried to encourage him and that he had invited him to go with him on Mother's Day knowing that his ex-wife had their two children and that John would be very sad that weekend confused yet as I do on the goodness of his heart had five John Denver so here I am I mean John Kelly why not least that understand him because I really really like to get back with my access and he's not the least because they make as he was praying to get back on his life so we just have that casual meeting my life right after that was that I heard about we martyr and I was accepted to work there and I went to work there and Holy Spirit really gave me a growth spurt I really appreciate it my racy hairstyles changed eleven became long and blowing my down short shorts disappeared and my apparel became long and Laotian and nine a lot of things changed my diet changed my spiritual life changed abundantly and was wonderful I get up at three o'clock in the morning as we go to bed at a decent hour at three clock Leica I didn't have alarm clock and I definitely wouldn't block my girlfriend and I would walk it was still dark out suing due to live in the memorized Scripture and it was so enjoyable and so that's where I was when one day my girlfriend and I want within the morning comes running and she works at the cafeteria and she's not thoroughly and serve breakfast and so and I've gone and gotten the train ride back to my room for those having such a spiritual feed staying in my room she comes barging in instead pray with you love it in the him as I just saw a man dining hall with two children and was so impressed that you and the man is pray out on my knees I don't have anything to say that she prays Brad and for whatever God 's will might pay me back to this person that she did know his name and so off to bed so within an hour I was leaving the building and John Schilling is walking in with his two children that the mandates using and I know Pam so that's probably why she was impressed about him and me that anyway I recognized him he actually has seen me coming in my tray and breakfast it actually told some people the night before that he was they are hoping to see Sally Mann who he knew and when I walk through the line in the morning and got my tray I didn't either our embassy in him but he saw me and he was sitting at the table with people he then went the night before to face that only thought you knew her as he says that some negatively thought you knew her yet I worry about stalkers she had changed a lot anyway now I see John Kelly again and I actually can have been seeing someone else and it hasn't been totally comparable relationship and as I was realizing that I simply need to change myself I leave the different chair need this person needs or expectations are temperamental whatever had it hasn't been totally enjoyable but that person every year would leave and go to Colorado for the summer and backpack and he just laughed Ananias really nice really I have just realized I'm trying to write this kit well as I had already realized that not even call this off and then I met John in the Lord impressed me and we spent the afternoon with his children at the bear River and talked about my act as if you nearly nine million and he knew he'd just gotten remarried and I knew that already two as a way we had a nice visit but in the process I learned that from John was a very wonderfully devoted to God man my first husband not banning you see those contrasts when you've had a relationship with someone and then you see someone else and you can see the contrast more easily I never been with someone you love God so much a man and who wanted to do his will more than anything else in the world and it was very refreshing and refreshing indeed and so we were visiting as he was going to stay at that campus for a few days and just coffee we market has remarked that time was new and people are hearing about it black people not liking what CNET didn't know what it was lifestyle was new in those days he was very interested in seeing it so he he is going to stay there and so I invited him to stay in my friends grade it was gone for the summer this is associated to to her that it is with a later in the hibernate en masse Allison looking at him I was so relieved that I was not about a relationship and I have been talking to my girlfriend we were making plans John had the saying life is when you see why you're making other plans keep making plans that I was making plans government and are very good unlimited beachwear which is her home and were going door-to-door with homemade bread and offer Bible studies I think we were going to evangelism and so I plan that the Holy Spirit home had other plans unknown about anyway I like John famously because I know he's not that not a lot of money and say Catholics and hotel you stay in my friend says during the day on working and he goes out volunteers at the orchard in the gardens and you can visit mealtimes and things like that he doesn't get in with the children from the orchard in time to get a tray on the lockup their trade and so when they get there but still it wasn't enough it wasn't the thing Verizon I know I know John was looking for lines I didn't know about that he didn't know that and I later learned that he is actually gone and counseled with the wind he was the chaplain at that time and Pixar looks at him like you what it actually telling him about Isaac and how Eliezer went looking and how he's going to daily Azores job and went on selling about this is that he's in a protective father in that it didn't exactly encourage John about that day and so he's John decided after about three days of the Iraq indeed I was one you know how you tell me if you want to tell me if you tell somebody else you're going to marry her and therefore not intensely married with any of them and love them when you look at nature he met up a blinding you get when you don't want nature to see you couldn't listen while I recognize was that God had sent me a bill conditions like the delegates are met I I was so that I realize on the third day of my visit there this is sounding all of the things that I then press couldn't possibly be this woman but they were all changed she was totally different person there was no more those are reservation and I had not paying the new anatomy I deliberately had not laid out the answers and when you like to go and this doesn't get all about it all happened independent time yes I realize that their day I didn't want macromolecular said he invited me on Wednesday night to go for a walk after he paid his children connect and he was going to find some way to ask a question that he can find out if God was speaking to me I had any indication from God that this might be limited for me while I was to let stolen to the Palestine breakup with other relationship everything I wasn't thinking like that at all and the lady asked me a question that he didn't know the baggage I hand you don't know the baggage I had I have a lot of baggage as much as but the vanities that I had made me respond to any questions that he asked me and he challenged his question wow what biblical was like what do you think this means in the Bible and he gave me a particular setting and you know when you gave me back saying it made me feel guilty for something I have done and I is the Lord sending this man to review me and he became defensive and even though the Holy Spirit is trying to lead me it was hard and so that block and if not you pleasantly that evening I didn't care if I saw this guy again because it is the Lord times deductively that I will e-mail him played so anyway it went back to my room and went to bed at the next morning and try to avoid seeing this man the next minute he's saying of my friends friend of hers but not the last time I ever got the cold shoulder as they want guess what my in-laws that's how I first met him he was sitting with my mother-in-law I was so close to my hemlock my in-laws that they came to we martyrs see me from Colorado to California and so sell out the next day they know him to that it will have a good time as my mother-in-law said to me after a couple of days of being messages you know I think he's interested in you and I could believe me he is not violated by all are not in any way and the wheat was coming to an and in any other Afghan church somewhere that take my in-laws with me my father-in-law going to church cells can be a challenge we went to little church in Lincoln and the doctors on the staff their doctor we narrow husband-and-wife team and I worked in the medical staff they are so close to them only we went to church in a small church there that if anything gets done is done by the remarks after demised and so they minimum needed somebody to tell children's story downstairs and I saw this man with two children they knows how to tell children's stories so they walked over and asked him would he tell a children's story isn't over yet I'd love to win renown told Tillman story I was shocked my ex-husband would not have done in anger he had approached him he would do nothing in church is fulfilling his aunt May and so they come upstairs from Sabbath it's time for church and have anybody to offer the main prayer and so that we become the Princess Johnson evening prayer is ultimately happy to do so so interesting and so it is up to defend him prayer is that she just sitting there I am saying the government did you watch them please okay on the beginning of what is the development of very long relationship he he realized he had not gotten for me any indication that I knew that God was putting us together but he realized that he was starting to be attracted in a way that he was not sure he can keep it on the right level any longer without telling me in influencing my decision as to whether or not this was something God wanted so he decided to better the road so the next day he was gone leaving only a prayer because I'm a whole bunch of us on a whole bunch of our staff will pray the Lord will bless them think travel Novak and so on he laughed and went back Albuquerque got to get off with their mom and design we need to do something even praying in the nineties I went to do until this on you correct me if anything I write a letter I wrote a business letter and he's trying to say is very businesslike terms why it was that he understood that God was doing that but still try not to influence may not even wanted everything to be very objective and then he asked the question that I see God leaving in anything that is in the business layer and I get this letter to three days later and Irene and I know of is not one for a quick answer I think I'll have to fast and pray about that we had long weekend coming up a holiday and it where medical staff of the off time perfect home fast and pray this weekend before I give an answer and so I did it was such a wonderful experience testing praying reading fasting praying reading is just a really wonderful and safe and it was one time while I was on my knees talking to the Lord that it was like a lightbulb turned on and I just came to me that were not out on my own you know I didn't conjure these ideas out they were either that were new to me I guess about how it was such a nice debate in person and I could see working with him he's had a lot in common we're both from the health of Virginia would benefit from large families we both had had broken highlands are commonalities euthanized by perhaps it would be compatible things that I knew from meeting him I didn't feel like I had to make a lot of changes are asked to be able to get along like I did with the other person that I had had a closer relationship with God it is so well that had some nice to just be yourself and be okay and I thought you know what my family would love him and they are not among Seventh-day Adventists I was not raised anything and none of my family and one sister has never found the Lord and there was a enough kids start thinking no he would be wonderful my family would love it and how can you resist the landlord when you meet somebody who loves the Lord and is so upfront about it I'm not apologetic and not embarrassed about it and another ideas came to me and I thought you are my plans Lord I have plans and I said okay I'm willing to be submitted to this end this is your well continued praying through the weekend and this amazing piece that I hadn't experienced before a piece about that if not if you're doing this if this is your idea then the success of it has to be in your hands and not in mine if I is I have not been a Christian since ever I was very good at deciding what needs to be done and do it and I still battle that ignoring the very color and just margin to need to be done that to be surrendered and to accept God 's will for you and more of a challenge for me so I decided that I knew what my answer would be that I can see gone leaving and getting better acquainted and so I had that on my mind has been back to work had had time to sit down and on melancholy as well as choleric and so when I do something have the right starting everything that is to write this letter of responding in writing the didn't have the right thing it were itself hasn't done it and he is the one you sent that letter so on the week ago or so and he wanted to go there and what was plus I had at the Senate I had received a letter that turns out she had mailed before I sent mine in the mail and it didn't make sense yes I'm a little car to saying it was nice to meet making your acquaintance and praying for you that the Lord will answer your prayers and him life I doubt he called one schematically thinking that can abandon that hard to see her naked and in answer to my letter that he call and I am asking that have been fasting praying I have an answer but I haven't had time to write so we should discuss it on and so is much relieved that I'm open to getting better acquainted so I do know what that meant the public to write letters and whether that week is that later he says that at Weimar I applied to be on staff and they are happy to have helped and even though he was at a profit processing professional heavy-handed company in the past and everything it was going to come we mark and the stipend that we got home to home for in water treatment the whole campus to deliver brand granola for the bakery to the roundabout Azores and he did that is how I will now that you have associations on the job because invading out we felt that John felt bad for you and I can feel that it's better to get acquainted in a working environment where you keep people working and interacting with other people in the theater character and so we wanted to discerning another's characters before we made any a long commitment so that worked out very nicely weird with each other neocons after work and in sometimes I think we might've gotten work together a little bit and so that is what happened it wasn't too long that we decided to live within us and we made a commitment we made that commitment knowing that neither one of us had said I better go tonight it appeals to me but rather we had chosen never got made to be appealing to us we decided that this is for life and so we know that God let us together when the hard times and you're tempted to say I'm out of here you don't say that you say okay time out and got this together this problem we're having is for character development and to stay right here in the grindstone and see what the Holy Spirit has made can be a blessing it feels like a horrible curse at the moment but it's not the rich glancing around and so were praising God for the rich blessing that he is given us and one another I him has actually been harder for John than for me did you all have enough I have had a better president he has not had it so easy for melancholy choleric like to calculate Maddux like to do that is to gather and I praising the Lord for that I was standing on the top I want to say him in whatever he slicing and bending and add them hope for the last year we started here in October a year ago you guys are so wonderful and is this environment does the programs that are provided here are so rich I wish we could replicate this all over the world and we should continue to Virginia with capacity and I'm already sad today sitting in my inherent realizing am not very good to see that sanctuary at all the thing is so rare and I feel very blessed to have been a part of it or while and we will be praying for you guys to continue the ministry that you have here and such a blessing to the old as well as the young and should time the last we'd like to publish it here again someday but if not was appointed time shipping was even made me just think I agree with a second fact remains that some of those things and you want to knows that no a couple of things and she said a lot of election anything I need to explain myself I'm not going to do that I want to say that that the thing that I was doing right or wrong we agree or not but I'll try to do is as literally as possible while of the example of Isaac and so we really do not have any whether it was a little romance our relation is going on we were actually engaged in we were on a range of Virginia and you get married and visited her on in St. Louis and on her logos dioceses will I said something about romance being the icing on the cake in a Christian relationship it really is it's the commitment of the goal we love to be a copy that case and the icing position of and some approaches long also shows any icing on the cake to him since then I think he's forgotten what she said was unlikely sure they were thinking about was to spread said affidavit I visited the name of the guys and as I said it accuses that when the Strozier take their anyway the reason is that we had both now we have both had a relationship before you knew you who are in a relationship or have been in a religion is broken in on the changes you you can read about this others said this much more eloquently than I will be able to but in reality you warm intimate relationships much more quickly after you had an intimate relationship with the opposite sex you have been divorced there are or were intimate even if you are married often this is based and break up you will form and a very intimate relationship very easily and in the sense that and not and so we were we are trying our best not to because it was the problem now there's a saying love is blind that is really its infatuation this blind love have excellent eyesight but infatuation is why and so we wanted their kids it can not me also want my rehydration out of your nose with his own lovely as a beautiful woman here am I having a after handling Manny right mind you know find her attractive and appealing in and you and I can and anything was on my lap of someone unexpectedly and undoubtedly limit and when I realized I was starting to be drawn in ways I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep making intelligent rational decision to drop by what is wrong and this was not a woman got had in mind what a miserable thing to make a mistake right and an eye island was like you said I've had my own company in an and him and I had been in sales and sell myself and sell my product and I was halfway good at it I thought I got probably crystal myself to her right what a mistake that would be no suppose I was such a good salesman and I sold myself wishing it while he's great they were long lines and so on and on about getting across even I cannot tell you how how convinced I am and have convicted onion that we need to avoid any kind of selling of ourselves in a a courtship and marriage that is not at all what you wanted you want to be yourself if you want to be just as much to you you know how to be which is actually almost impossible in less the Lord allow you to do it because it's natural to trying to manage a company and we were growing up and a great company supplement that is what Michael's retreat company special and so she was companies of your universe was someone different so you treat them special and hand that's understandable but is it harmful in reality such him them as much I read your mother or your brother knowing that there are many I know what it would follow that that the reason that a young man and woman should look at the way the person it is in the home is best the way they will meet you you may sell not how they will never our special that's their brother are that their sister I'm sorry that is how they will treat you and the only way they will treat you different and that is by the grace of God I'm picturing overstep this is true and that's what you thought about it was her hard-nosed social he said about me having the being so great her and she is she has taught me so many things I have learned so much in my Christian walk from God to sell now or say something about that that is we both come to realize and doesn't work well to teach each other stuff okay and I'm not I think we should we don't do well in the butt we love each other and when and what is taught me more than anything am sorry to say is hard tears I learned how many hard lessons from her cheers because I have hurt her I don't mean to hurt her I don't even understand how it finally understand how it hurt and I am going but I know she's hurting he's crying she's in pain and we learn many many hard all lessons of each other I don't cry cc she does many student injured me sufficiently to jeers of design and and the cell when we don't I consider God to be using her on my character is not adamant I wish it was less painful to her and no longer we grow the less painful it is that's one of this far more good than bad but we do have any real insight in fact we can go one weekend of what I related how many years hostages in your Internet that the leave but maybe I did which is that we can keep the end this is the way it is done everything in our humanitarian is not just being real I felt that time I don't know what's happening why why don't I have the strength I can I have the strength of God legitimately but I just was so as to the point that it's got to change it is going to change the way we relate way our relationship works are and I was ready to make a unilateral change in together or something the divorce only had one was a rewrite against my wishes but idea come to know that was good in a way she talked about being a choleric little some outline makes a wonderful statement she says that there is less as all of us must learn or reenter the only gates of heaven against analysts of the self-denial and self sacrificing success some learned his lesson under the gentle something of love but others only under the hardship of suffering and trial any of you have for yourself when you get on that what a cleric or sometimes don't get it here and was taking a long time to a gentle actually like gentle masala some of you see me in my worse monopoly that but I finally know I have to reach that spot regular school I was very gentle my memory of what I was provoked really the point here is that was awful because I would lose my temper and really hurt people I go to my point I wanted to make is that we got to this point and I caused me to confront Sally right and we had a meeting it was very good very difficult very good so I guess I'm trying to say is that how that is that in a relationship that's submitted to God give you great power because it will have to consider I don't remember spending any time wondering if this is him him this was the right choice I choose and intelligencer and an God indicates to me that this is his choice I saw that evidence accepted she looked at the evidence and then in our relationship as we got it right she saw God and so this was God 's choice NY SSO Powerball because God has told us that I hate I hate divorce managing and I hate putting away I returned to look to the right of you you so or that Jeremiah but without any at any rate we don't have we don't deal with that as there is something interesting to talk to some of our worldly friends and him and their candid about the core relationship you hear them talk about and am wondering whether really where suited for each other I'm wondering if we're right for each other I don't have any time on that I enjoyed that would and I hope those of you who are married here in the Lord that you have the same conviction and experience it him that he will not be another way if you haven't followed it perfectly and who has us of Jesus are going nonetheless were told that once when you come constantly want to make Mary's and the Lord and that he made that said it is you do not have so I wasn't going to think of it as all right at the point of marriage then you are now that's behind you the choicest vine you don't know where a choice anymore now the only thing is about the nation now had a wonderful sermon today about submission about taking up our cross and an onion hearing back recently his unit was on the block a few times but in the most recent psilocybin and hope that a number of people presented this concept of submission that the entryway into guns at and I can thank you that's true I was with all my heart it's I want to submit to God 's will that's when the middle where the happiness of a museum I have it on your goals yes I'll are informed about OES is one more thought of nonlinear tone to that end and that's not a good thing about and to assist lamp I think they are going a I love the egg will be the seed therefore a hosted that is you don't get that you are not linear but to me that's beautiful I just love that I I I love being rational I love things that are none of this is discussed beautiful inside mathematics may not have this beautiful and I love my Macs boiling Sally Sally F the slut Sally when I was trying to understand Sally in our early you are trying very hard to understand her and I felt like death eight i.e. intelligent human being to be able to understand any rational thing and it is rational and you apply your mind that what liking to understand so I felt Shirley I still understand her well I could and I remember some of our conversations on Esme 's using while I think this is one I do think that when the six pointed petition on one morning the knowledge on your the one that you think it if you don't know why him busy like the craziest by Sarah again because she thinks intuitively she does what I was going call into his thinking Geo and the cup is over this I know I you and e.g. right and she's thinks differently very there and in fact we had the most enlightening experience on I was at one time activity when it was only one shocking something that doesn't line as well why not as I started up a honesty I can help her figure out I actually had is that Hamilton and actually helped her see why she would looking at why she felt that it was so satisfying to him to remain in the area now I could see it that way and that is how I got there is an important point to her synthesizing and it's going but sometimes you be working on cars I think my units and he looked at me when she sang I will work it worked really in Haiti at me that yes I've come to to really J the visibility and it is intuitive thought process was I can't do under the servant try to do it it does happen to me and I so so while we learn that she thinks differently than I do and that's good thing that you doesn't that's good she's come to appreciate in my mean your animal is in I appreciate her nonlinear capabilities and reality to working as a team we would have really good and we got we nearly got no intuitive and working together and and what I while I don't think we need here is exclusive to males it seems to predominate in male and I don't think intuitive is in the Limited e-mails it does tend to predominate among because of in the master plan male-female that actually most couples end up with a pretty good dose of ECF is very very helpful all so and is so good when you regress I think you know this is really good when we grasp that others are not like us that's okay is very important and I value her thinking I'll actually is not in Oakland on them and gets her she's all grown getting tired of this assignment now but unstable what you think about Sosa and she does a person get it the only nearsighted she does differently than I do so she makes an excellent resource to ask that the handouts I asked her what you think about something and in it helps I oftentimes given line or I would never have my own and so anyway I just and I'm so glad it got design I have something mail and e-mail and then something will be a part of that is the gender that will close in London on per but did you ever him why I have a question one of the possibilities one how intimate you think the relationship is in the Trinity again everyone up in arms talk about sexual intimacy I don't picture that being president of Trinity on about that again but nonetheless my point is there's an intimacy between God and the father and God the son of God Holy Spirit that there only a godly marriage I think represents that and I'm not opposed to people who are single and live their life in a single day Paul supported that greatly so the only biblical to choose a single person for the entire life and certainly the magazine no one on this earth on the fraternity member that have a different relationship I believe I won't argue that one another and a hot topic but it with him exactly what he deserved his and so that involve any causes can be something better and whatever's better I'm always happy to turn over something better but I believe that there's an intimacy in the Godhead that is in some way reflect about intimacy and a marriage between a man and woman and and within the children you have three three different goals were different entities in the family that reflects in a way that the Trinity and revenues can you or take away over the time we had with you like the fray with us to deny hence father thank you for creating us mail e-mail I'm sure that we don't understand all the blessings and that even now even though it are all born what I greatly you will help us to make in her into the blessing intended in this creation and forgive as the sin sin against you against ourselves and others by abusing the maleness in illness of Rockridge Lord I pray that we might need to be submitted to your well those of us who are married I pray that will help us understand the blessing that you given us that you help us to make your window and the happiness of our spouse on crime deliver us from selfish was seeking her pleasure even in a marriage relation yes as much pleasure marriage your uncle are the things she got angry to the good or and of Oregon those of us who are in question for compensating Craven and help us to submit fully into your plan of us to take another look maybe currently look again at the very things which they did previously and NCOs or something more than you have or is it understand the better implement the plan because Lord we do not want to the outside your will in the slide we regret any single we would rather bring the relay is an engagement than to be each following regretting step one new those who are not in question and then contemplated in and do not hinder ginger I'm praying that you will bless the ones that they may be comfortable and sending you and as Paula said indeed there are commitments time commitments and other commitments and Mary and attract liability at all of our time and your and so I praise you because all of them call me strength and encouragement made in the above shared tonight not in anyway intimidate our honor them but maybe useful than to share with others who are called to conjugal relationship but as we part now is our last time actually being in Avenue I wouldn't know when you might be back next I have since you will watch between us that he will bless and prosper and hope as an movement of each individual year and bless us in our ministry as we take up the patient young Virginia thank you for the evidence that you've given that you have a work and a place in this life for each one of us no more certain recall the oyster card present heaven in a specific place road network you gear into that wonderful promise and ability to my lines Craig Christman


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