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God wants us to have the best sex possible.



  • May 30, 2020
    1:00 PM

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Of all basic human needs it is intimacy that is the largest craving that we have in this generation on this episode of adverse. Coming to you from Silver Spring Maryland welcome to N.P.R.'s Bible based conversation or my principal contemporary issues and thought provoking. Here's your host just in time with him for. Everyone we're so excited that you decided to join us here in the studio with our inverse gang here we are going to study 1st Corinthians Chapter 17 in this 13 we segment on God's Will we're talking about intimacy in this episode and we're going to get really go to the Bible and let's have a prayer it's very Father in heaven we think you for your guidance thus far as we have studied your will and as you have already so graciously given us so much understanding and I pray that you would continue to do so as we study your work together right now we ask these things in Jesus name Amen and and 1st Corinthians Chapter 7 and for those who are watching out there we want to personally get your Bibles whether it's digital or print and go to inverse Bible dot org or you'll find a study guides there for this segment topic and other Bible study topics as well 1st Corinthians Chapter 7 verse one so you should not concerning the things of which you wrote to me it is good for a man not to touch a woman all right that's that's all stop there and spend some time talking about one verse no no let's keep on going for that I think 6 1st Never the less because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband let the husband render to his wife the affection due her and likewise also the wife to her husband the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting in prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of South control but I say this as a concession not as a commandment. Well I wish that on the end where even as I myself but each one has his own gift from God one in this manner and another in that post up there just for those here watching and some of you may be watching the family we're going to go into some extra curricular adult topics here and so we want to just let you know that if you have children around we are going to be talking about biblical topics and then in a biblical way we're just going to give you a heads up before we do and especially that we just read Secret thank yous Jonathan what's going on here well Paul is writing to the Corinthians and he's laying out some principles of marriage and it becomes very clear the Paul is not against sexuality sexual experiences but he's saying this is part of marriage and it's an important part and he's laying out some directions here for how we are to deal with this being the man and the woman he's putting up some really powerful points you saying that you know the wife does not have authority over her own body but it will be another we're going to tax we're going to. But I appreciate that intro I think is very very important that the Bible does talk about sexuality the physical intimacy between a man and a woman and it's very very important that we establish that the Bible thinks of that as good yes too often on Bible study shows such as this one or in preaching or in church religion spirituality or whatever they think of as as sex having nothing to do with and the question is Why is that the case and how can we prevent that this kind of misunderstanding from happening automatically people think of religion Oh you're the anti-sex people but no. So a lot of times a lot of times it's talked about in the context of don't do it before marriage and so but that's all the talk about doctor before marriage and sometimes you just hear don't and you forget the rest the context and so there's so much time spent on you should wait you should wait should not do this and it's bad it's bad is bad that even when it carries over into marriage or service mindset of like it's bad it's bad it's got it's bad and so it's kind of bleeds over it go what should I mean guilt. Runs over or I've heard this is bad really knowing why or what it is you know or a lot of generation especially this Internet generation we go online and we find out stuff we should not want to find out over you know. I don't think you make this analogy I can I will do it with my 3 year old but I'm trying to teach him not to eat too much sugar and so the lesson goes don't eat sugar and that's just going to like he was in the Don't don't don't and but it's good things in moderation right lol Just because it's me doesn't mean it's bad for you necessarily but because he's young and it's I don't you should I don't need to do I don't need to do it any time you take something that's sweet I get screwed and it's like mom I should not eat those this is sugar and like no no no that's not natural sugars in it it's actually good for you and so sometimes the you know the simplistic Don't don't don't don't don't and we end up it's over but it yeah but Paul says If I can go to verse 5 in the context of marriage he says Do not deprive one another example of consent for a time and him saying that he's saying that in the context of marriage this is something that you should engage in and often because you said if you do deprive one another it should be only for a short time so this is something that is a positive thing. Not even venture to say a necessary thing in a healthy marriage is you should do do do do do anything if it's not happening you should be only for a short time and with consent with one another otherwise this should be very very prominent part of the Man Yes yes there's a lot to unpack in that passage and we will get to the each verse and what I really appreciated about the segment thus far is that we really or you're looking at human beings in a very holistic way. From our identity to our mission to our talents to our relationships sometimes in the Western world we tend to compartmentalize each one of things and we want one or another but we see that all we are all these just kind of a mess of a person a kind of spaghetti pasta that's just congealed all together we're trying to pull one pasta thing at a time and the Lord deals with us from our past the present to the future so even our bodies and even our sexuality we are all sexual beings as weird as it sounds we do have a certain sexual identity about ourselves and that plays a part in who we are and even our or sexual urges that all human beings have that in itself in neatly is a good thing that God has given and we need to be very very careful because a lot of times in society especially if you're of the masculine gender that is that is looked down upon Yeah that drive that urge is a God given good thing to have but the thing that we're talking about today and what the Bible to address is is what you do with that is where the Bible gives its guidance and counsel on things is easy just just a comment on the way in society that in men you know sexuality is looked down upon on you know men shouldn't be yes shouldn't be sexual beings it actually has an effect on women as well because women are sexual beings and so it becomes that in the right context it's Ok for women to be a sexual being but then that that is so downplayed that I don't know the men are the ones with sexual beings and that. It is a negative things alone and it's not and it's a good thing for her not to be so what if she is and so what what Paul says at the end of the verse in verse 5. The end of it is still that Satan does not tempt you because of your. God seeing that he created us as all of these aspects of our being and those are all positive things that God put in us and downplaying it treating it like it's a negative thing actually the devil has opportunity to tempt us into things that God did not intend for us because we're denying an aspect of what God made us to be I would even argue that it's such a great thing that God wants us to have the best sexual experience of the last. Fundamentally that he gives us these conditions and the world has all these other things that experience their sexual in a more mediocre way or I don't know what the right word but in a subset of sub subsidies in a lower way lower weight John if you know we were in a previous episode we were talking about the relationship between a man and woman in the Garden of Eden God started you know I mean we don't notice from Scripture right away but I would not be surprised if the sexual experience was one of the 1st experiences animate even had and the beauty of sexuality in the context of the holy marriage and the holy relationship is that through it you don't just come close to each other but you also come close to God because it is in the sexual experience that we see a revelation of God's love the selfless self sacrificial love that God has for yeah in the sexual act which by the way as you were mentioning and neither their 1st day together was on a Friday night Sabbath rites and so the holiest of days was the whole weird days and you know it's we kind of bifurcate and separate the sexual act as a physical act and as a as a spiritual act and as an emotional act but really those 3 are all together that in in the sexual encounter I mean you're experiencing fall on intimacy. With another human being in its most raucous state right there's no no no here we are anywhere I mean and that when 2 people in the context of love is just like some minutes and there's this wonderful fruit that comes out of it literal I mean there's the conception of what not and also emotional healing and whatnot but the world wants all its benefits without that level of rawness and intimacy and even embarrassment and shame in a good sense into countering Kelly and backed off I've been reading a book recently called the act of marriage and there it talks about how it did like research on like thousands of couples and actually Christians have reported of more satisfying sex life than non-Christian and I think it has to do with the spiritual realm of you know and also the selflessness of giving talks about here like why does not belong to her why does not belong to him but it is a given to Selfless giving and that selflessness can only come through Christ and through the Holy Spirit and so we see it as just as you know I just want to feel good so I'm going to myself feel good and you're here to help me do that that that takes it away but we need Jesus and so I just I really appreciate the Christ centered ness of it because that also heals us from the idea that sex or anything around any kind of intimacy should be something guilt inducing because Jesus gave it as a gift and like you know God is there with us unlike the Garden of Eden that that's actually what makes it better so we are 17 that is God's will for us to have sex yes but in the right conditions for optimal experience you know can we can we say that if you argue with it what are those principles and conditions Jonathan. Well let's get into the text here is what Paul is saying Ok let's do it yeah well as we look at as we look here at the text here for example in in verse 4 the wife does not that not that I can actually talk about it does not have authority over her own own body. A lot of people stop right there unfortunately yeah the husband does and likewise the husband doesn't have authority over his own body but the wife does and this funny what verses people know yes it is no. Part and what part they don't know yet. This is kind of to what Cally were saying in the context of marriage and sexuality you don't own yourself and you have given yourself to the other being complete selflessness which is what God is exemplified towards us and so and it is in that process of living for the other person that relationship flourishes that the relationship gets beautiful not the sexual acts will experience is is the most meaningful sexual experience often especially in the world this being just focusing on the physical and and the end point but really what makes sexuality from God's perspective from the Biblical perspective powerful and beautiful is the whole process of loving and I think you'll read a book or something heard sex starts in the kitchen and meaning that you do the dishes because you know you are Appreciate your wife you want to support your wife and you build a relationship you can let me take in so many ways you know but the point is that the process of relationship is makes is what makes sex so beautiful because that's just a celebration of a much deeper experience that you have so the living for the principle that we see here in verse 4 is living for the other another person and that then flows into all aspects of marriage including sex and yeah you know what's going on in the studio so I'll take a break and come back we'll continue topic on intimacy. Has impressed been a blessing to do you have questions comments or feedback you'd like to leave us find us on social media by searching. On Facebook Twitter and Instagram for you to while there join us like us comes up next the handle again is in 1st Bible states now back to the discussion. Hey welcome back we're so glad that you decide to come back and hit and we're continuing our conversation on and I got to it's it is humorous but it is a little. On some topics but it is a topic that we need to talk about especially in this open society that we have and what the Bible has to say other principles that we find in 1st Corinthians Chapter 7 regarding intimacy within marriage do you see Ok well you're thinking I can find someone who. Is found in chapter 6 actually chapter 6 which gives the appearance actually I cheated but I get to do that verse 18 and the Bible says believe sexual in more time in mortality or morales. The. Takes its cue from the Old Testament narrative where someone is claiming you know what yes which I believe he fully misses model for and so here the very interesting thing is that sexuality is good God created it is it is it is it is good and holy and pure but there are other things that are outside of the round of God's God's will that the Bible says fleet and one principle the. Final Chapter 7 is the wife doesn't have thought over all body but the husband does and likewise the husband over the wife we are not our own in a sense we are each other but also in the Gospel sense we are also not each other's we are both the Lord's And so as we have sexual intimacy physical intimacy with another person it is you know when you ask what is permissible what is not and. And this is your expression of love towards another person but also how are you treating a daughter of God That's something or the or are Son of God something the mind for with with dignity and respect and godliness but also full on emotion and full on passion and and you're full human this comes out but there are some things where you know this is the daughter of the king that you or son of the king they want to be mindful of just to go on with the verse he started in chapter $618.00 Yes talk about the man commits is outside the body but want to commit some sexual morality sins against his own body do you not know that your body is the temple of the moon but when you so that that realisation that you know the man and woman coming together it is yes the physical interaction but there's the spiritual realm to me because my body is not my own like you said like we are the Lord's you know alternately and so the way that we treat each other should honor him yes and I guess being aware of that when I before I was married I thought it was like we had a concept you know but I had a preacher saying you know when a man and woman come together they need to realize that God is there and I was like you know but in reality that that if you were to think that God is there then outside of the context of marriage it would be an uncomfortable thing really $11.00 preacher said it this way if you were going on a date with a man's daughter and you were about to engage in inappropriate relationship with his daughter. If you imagined that her father was in the room would you do what you're about to do. And was like Yeah you know David is like you're not going to you know be inappropriate with some men if he is inside the room he's like sitting on the edge of the bed you're not going to do the thing you know because he's there right and is I think in like manner when you know when a man and a woman are together the father is present and if God has sanctioned this thing then you can he says eat freely you know it's permissible but if it's out of it's in the wrong context then you're not going to do it really so having an awareness of God's presence whether you know married to unmarried it brings us that it brings up the act from a purely physical you know exchange you know Friends with Benefits types of rights and and this is a holy act in the presence of God Himself when we look at other theories of sexuality they're more animalistic or even evolutionary meaning if you're angry just if you're just just find some. And that's not what the Bible portrays this is a very high act rather than a low act but it is it is book and this passage by verse one that we kind of laughed a little bit of but 1st one says it is good for a man not to touch a woman and a verse 7 for I wish that all men were even as myself but each one has his own gift from God one in this manner and another in that 1st talk about singlehood and you know we don't want to impose singlehood or marriage on people but what is the context what's the larger principle that Paul is trying to get at He's not saying get married or stay single the what is the larger goal for single unmarried people tell you they're going to say that you know when when you're married a married woman looks after the things of a husband marriage getting into that intimate relationship changes your priorities and rightfully so when you're single person you've got you to think about and you know you and your relationship with God and what he's calling you to do as soon as you get married he said Your body is. Well you own right you can't just be like I'm going to do this because I feel like it right because you are accountable now to the person that humanity tunes in so in whether you're married or you're single all should be to the glory of God but being married puts you in a different situation the way that you glorify God changes from if you're a single person and so he's saying if you're a single person there are things and benefits to being single there are things that you can do that a man a person cannot do just like you know many of the things that you know a single person cannot do yes yes yes yes and a single a single beings we have a great responsibility we in a previous episode were talking about Adam he was alone at 1st and God gave him something to do he had a mission and identity at that point until later on he realized you know he was looking for a companion but if you're single it is Ok 1st of all there's nothing wrong with you and there's a blessing in knowing that it's you and God and he has a mission for you and so embracing that that time can be I mean for for Adam it was in a way preparation time for that moment. On the other hand we have to realize that in this sinful world that we live in there is the possibility that some that you might not find your spells those situations and circumstances that just make it impossible and being Ok with that and embracing the opportunity to live a life fully devoted for God where you spend all your time for him and in engaging his mission I think the intimacy that you can have with God in that sense is something that should not be despised to look down upon and that's a powerful point that this this intimacy is something that even transcends the sexual act yes that we can have intimacy with God and if anything sexuality is a type as an allegory for the close and wrong relationship we can have with God obviously on the physical level but on the other you know that emotional you know crazy level. With God and so in our singlehood we should try to achieve that level of intimacy God 1st and that with us being the best spouse for our future spouse or current spouse or what. I really appreciate the chapter for many years as it was a weird chapter I justified my singleness with it I am going to be holy it is not good for a man to dog such a woman you know this kind of but really the principle that emerges is beyond this I'm not going to argue 1st with the incident and this kind of thing but the principle is that it's not whether you're touching someone or not it's not sexual into someone's sexuality but we all have to do the work of God for the Gospel Yeah so if you're single you're living more efficient Yeah but some people can't be single so be married for the sake of doing the gospel do it together some of you are married believe or a stay remain married for the Gospel sake and everything's for the gospel for their god for the Gospel the gospel so the sexual ethics like how how how how how how to is always the justification is for the Gospel that's God's will in all these the world of the world glorifies the corporal You know the body and with the eating right and you think about in Christianity there are there times when you have to fast from food because you realize that life is not just about eating food there's more to life than than the physical and. Whether fortunate or unfortunate in some people's lives God may call some people to a sexual fast whether it's for your entire life you are not going to engage in this act which is which is glorious It's wonderful God created it but there is more to you exist and then just the corporal you don't live to have sex you don't live to eat you don't live for the body you live a life is more then just what we experience in our bodies and and that's an important thing to remember and I'm saying this because I think a lot of single people as it is married folks that down in these not tell you yeah you know you're single so you. Rejoice in your singleness it's like oh yeah it's easy for you to say that because you married you know like you're saying that or that you need to embrace your loneliness is like yes because you come home to a spouse the reality of the experience is hard fastings is not a pleasant thing you know and the reality of living your entire life with these desires because God created you this way but in a sense living a life of a fast it is not necessarily a pleasant thing and it's hard it can be hard and painful and yet the lesson that the lesson that God calls us to use that our bonds were more than just all physical body and it's unfortunate that this has to be the case in the lives of some and yet the truth and the connection that we find with God saw transcends the physical and Jesus if anybody knows it Jesus know that because he was a man and so if I experience yearnings and cravings and desires you've got to know that Jesus did yes and Jesus lived a holy life and so I may be made and I say this but I say this on the authority on the authority of Jesus Christ to live. I appreciate that I'm sure many people resonate with and let me ask me precisely the further though so I mean just like the example the u.k. I mean to but you're married and yet Jesus was single and he asked Ok then Ok are there is any practical counsel that we can give to our single people who are young or maybe older people who are divorced or widowed or whatever circumstance they are in how to how should they wait how how to to subsist during right is your earnings so I think songs to focus doesn't remain under softer side of a spouse I have to find a spouse Jesus didn't focus on that you know I don't know if Jesus ever thought about marriage but I mean he did think about of a nun the sense of like he wants America. What did Jesus do I mean he engaged in the day to day activities of being a carp. You know before he started public ministry but he engaged with people around him and even in his ministry he had 12 disciples and then even others there were close to him he engaged in friendships he focused on relationships and building those people up for taking them supporting them and having you can have intimacy in a sense in friendship us well not in the sexual sense but on a deep hard to hard level you can have you know we talked about bromance Jonathan and they that you know a couple episodes ago I think are you connecting that with this episode I'm connecting that in the sense that we can have friendships with people of intimacy on a deep level. If you want if you don't have a smile if you ask me for advice for single people Ok. But you know gauging in meaningful friendships with people around us and trying to not just focus on finding someone else Ok in the context of mission we talk about everything for the gospel I think that can just be very fulfilling for us human I mean Kelly anyhow so I just I I really just have the same thing as Jonathan and I feel hesitant as walks about to get married to someone like my single friends or like you had some hard times and your counsel is not invalidated because I know I found some of the feel like it is yes but I would say like even though I got together with my fiance when I was pretty young. I still felt So I mean I entered even found him when I wasn't looking and this idea that even even though he's a an amazing man he doesn't fulfill me the way Jesus does and sometimes we think i know but you know before I found him with this idea of like well I'll reach another level of existence when I meet this guy when he tells me I'm beautiful I'm cool I'm smart all these things were like he does that and it's the same and he does add a lot of value to my life but at the end of the day Jesus is what really makes my life what it is even though I do have an amazing man and I take away from this episode as God wants us to have the best sex possible but more than sex transcending sex so you want to be have a relationship was on an intimate level hopefully that's your prayer daily prayer that is ours thanks for joining us with you next week here in years. You've been listening to inverse a Bible based part of the station the callee word is wrong Jonathan Walter Sebastian Braxton. And your host Justin. Inverses brought to you by the hope channel television that changes like this and more inspiring episodes visit in bursts hope t.v. news that Origen find us on social media. In the 1st 5 until next time this isn't verse.


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