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Depression and Anxiety - Blessings in Disguise

Michala Faber Stephanie Riedmann



  • December 29, 2019
    11:00 AM


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So welcome everyone. My name is Nicholas and I am currently working as a dentist in the north and part of Deadlands and I was asked to do a presentation on health about mental health and I am very exciting to share this with you it's about depression anxiety and I called it depression and anxiety blessings in disguise because today we will recognize that instead of fighting these things on our own Really this is something God allows in our lives to help us see something that we really need to see I think we should start with a prayer and then I'll tell you a little bit more about my own story also the Heavenly Father I thank you so much for the life that you've given us and I thank you the most for the love that you have given us and I praise Lloyd that you will help us understand this love and also understand the law that you made to govern us to help us to learn how to govern ourself to gain self-control and to love like you love I pray that you may open our minds and help us understand all of the things that you have in store for us in Jesus name humans so I grew up in the church. And I was baptized when I was still here 12 years old because I knew that I wanted to follow Jesus bags and I'm not sure that I exactly knew what it was to follow Jesus but I was very excited and I really wanted to follow Jesus for a while I went off road many things speaking theory for me and I just came in the church but didn't really know why I was there and when I got to the age of chanting want it 21 I was. Born again. Reconverted and. From there I went straight into a deep depression. Which is not normally the way it goes when you meet Jesus because you get very happy I was very happy I felt very safe because I knew that despite of this expression Jesus had found me and I was on the right way but I was very depressed and I didn't know how to get out of it and I went to. The Church and the church didn't know how to help me out of it and I went to God but I didn't know how to ask him how well I know how to ask but I don't know how to find the answer from God How do I get out of depression and later came also I think actually at the same time anxiety anxiety comes and go a little bit faster than depression depression and last for long periods and and anxiety maybe sometimes shorter and then you have a little bit of anxiety and sometimes a lot and then you go into depression and then the next idea and then depression and sometimes you're just deeply depressed even though you have anxiety so today I really want us to understand why do we become depressed because I believe even though I have doubted many times I believe I was born again back then and even Christians have depression but we need to understand what happens because Christians should not stay depressed we have no reason to stay in depression I will go through some of the loss or at least the basic law that we need to live according to and I'll help you and I myself because I'm learning while I'm doing this I never did a presentation in this before I will and also and we will learn how not to break this law and to store itself and so I think as I shared I went to the church no one could tell me how to get out and this is the Bible verse I found in Jose our I didn't know if I don't know if I found it it's in Hosea it says My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge and I believe that this lack of knowledge if you read further on it's a lack of knowledge of the law of God. We read the law in we think we understand the law but really we don't know how to put it into practice and so this is why we destroy ourselves this is the law that God created for us to function on or under this is the law that governs everything that God ever created up here we have got and this is Adam and when Adam was created he was created to take care of the earth so he goes to God to take what he needs and he passes it on to someone else bag then it was Eve or the garden and nature takes from what Adam gives and from what God gives of course and if gifted on then someone else takes and gives and someone else takes and give and the only thing today which does not work according to this circle of the Nessus and is the heart of man the heart of man is the only thing who thinks he can live for himself God never created anyone to live for himself but the heart of man is very deceived and he thinks that he can live from himself and for himself now we need to look at the functions and the need of humanity to understand this so here we have some physical needs and we have some spiritual needs and we want to ask ourselves physical needs who is responsible to fill them is it me or is it others and from where do I take them so if we go to the 1st one it says food can I produce the food so where do I take it. Yes Yes So we take it from nature Ok what about the water can I introduce the water no so we take it from nature and air the air I breathe can I produce the air. You know so we take it from the church so now we go to the spiritual needs our law of righteousness security liberty peace and joy and harmony and we all need these things in different measures I need a lot of harmony and a lot of security especially I need those other things also but those are the 2 that I recognize is in my sphere that is most urgent for me to have around me so can I produce love not so where do we take it from from God. Then we want to know who is responsible to fill my physical needs God who is responsible to fill my physical Who is responsible that I get food myself how much am I responsible a little bit everything Ok who is responsible that my spiritual needs fulfilled my self and God Ok so if God is responsible what happens if my spiritual needs are not fulfilled whose fault is that it's God's fault so is it God's fault when our physical or spiritual needs are not fulfilled no so is God responsible for my spiritual needs no then who is responsible for my physical my spiritual needs myself how much am I responsible 100 percent sorry to choose yet yes will will come to see that actually we don't have that many choices I think the next thing we should look at is our relationships so now we know that what we need to do is we need to take some love because we don't have anything ourself and we have to give it to someone else and we want to know then why do we enter into relationships do we enter into relationships to give live. Or to receive love both That's very clever Can you repeat that again very loudly Yes So when we enter into a relationship should it be to love or to be loved to love but what happens when we enter into relationships often we have expectations so what happens is I want to give love but why do I give love to receive something is that very loving. I would say it's humanity. It's central nature so I would like to love you if you love me back right I tell you a little story of mine I went to see one of my friends recently and he's depressed and. She likes that everyone around her should be very nice to her because she's nice to them this is very bad because can you expect others to always be good to you while you can but what happens when they're not then we're disappointed and we get depressed and so I went around I had some very good advice for her I thought myself and I wanted to help her out with my very good and loving advice and then she started to say well no one can do that Micaela no one can live without taking in the or without receiving anything from anyone and by the way you always preach to me and she started criticizing me now I have a very sensitive spirit and it's also a very strong will I have and how do you think I felt why me I made so many mistakes so many mistakes but you see I wanted to give her my loving advice for what reason for whose sake for my sake Ok so this is how easily we are deceived. It happens all the time I know for me with my very fit my very sensitive nature and my very strong will I count many many times a day when I am hurt or I am annoyed or I am angry maybe no one sees it but inside the list is long and these things we have to be we have to make them conscious because these things are what can help us to conquer our depressing in our anxiety and even our anger or anything else any conflict we have in life this fits that all of it no matter what is wrong with us will will come to see that will come to see it. It comes so glad we do as we enter relationships and we answer relationships with our mom just when we're gone and our dads and this is my sister she's over here Stephanie and we have some friends and some relatives and other people and if you have a spouse he or her or she is very high on the list this is from where we really want to receive something our mom and our spouse especially is very evident or very What do you say it's the places that we want to take from the most but what happens when we don't see those things that we want to receive from these people were crushed were hurt. Flowers that's a very nice example it is yes Ok so what I want us to do today is to learn how to make these feelings or symptoms really depression anxiety stress anger conflicts and sicknesses because you know 90 percent of all the sickness we need in our lives start in our mind and in our spirits. All these things I want you or at least I have come to learn that these feelings are my alarm system when I feel something bad in my body I know exactly right away that I must be wrong something has to be wrong I am no longer living according to the law and why do we need why do we know that we are not at that we are wrong yes yes thank you thank you. Thank you thank you. Yes Yes Thank you. No they are not according to the law they are breaking the law is that the child's fault that it is breaking the law does the child have any guilt they are breaking the law that they only give law they don't take the law from the right place but you know that the fact is that children children need to learn from their parents how to keep the law it will take some time from the beginning that only take off from the mother but the mother's job is to raise the kids and race a kid to understand that they need to take love not from other parts from somewhere else but the kid is still breaking the law he just cannot do anything about it he has no guilt it is not his fault you understand. Sort of yeah I come to explain everything a little bit more and he so yeah so it's really hard to recognise from me that you are wrong yet you're trying to find somewhere or someone else is wrong and he's doing you wrong. And this is coming. In and it's very hard to do this through those things because. It's very hard this is why we need us and yeah yeah. We do that. First. Of all with the course of the. Story. Into the. We were in the car because. We've seen you it will not be in this presentation. I mean for this summer. This day. Is. He she or he can be alone but. I miss your understanding to. Anyone who's ever been yes yes but but the law can be different things it can be righteousness it can be liberty it can be different things and we have different needs are nice needs are differently in the measure but we all need the same things. We just need them in different measures so someone might not need harmony as much as my someone might be just fine if a conflict is going on over here I can see far away from the conflict and I will almost die from it even though I don't dissipate in it like physically or or I'm part of it I just by hearing the conflict my spirit crumble Ok so so this is the way we differ but we all have the same needs just in different measure do you understand what I mean maybe a little bit yeah. Yeah it's in the Senate but but. To say that. It's a psyche also comes from your go. To great gusto Oh yes I see that said he had his head. But Ok but it's just like video of the said that we're talking about excited in the wrong way because. Of Things like it's a 1st time a person comes to me and helps a guy. I don't know the 1st noted by excited little prize Yes but but why I will come yeah I will explain that I will explain it but why do you why do you anxiety level race why does it rise from Who are you taking when your anxiety goes up from God or from the bone keeping a gun to your head but it's this love of stuff it's all by no it's about not having love you know where the guy was pointing the gun to you is not giving you what you need pointing a gun to our heads is not our needs we don't have any need to be threatened with because seconding is the opposite of love and we have no need to die because we were created to live we have no need to lose because we were created to gain so when someone takes it away from us this is not filling our need. Yeah. Ok Now listen you. Sound. No but we will see I will come to explain there's many more presentation things yes. I give. I think I'll go on a little bit further Anyhow maybe we'll have some of the questions answered through the process and will take everything and I think this is very good because we have many questions don't make us think for ourselves and we can go home and tested instead really true I also have some more material so if you're interested to look into the thinks it's possible to have some D.V.D.'s and I have some some links to Youtube also but but it's very good that we think about it Ok question. Yeah well. Understood correctly you know because I asked why it's not. Well if you have a left leg plate then you don't believe God can prevent it from the one we. Write So it's my fault that I don't have enough faith in God. And. The same time yes we have a lot of women and we're just business you can express love in different ways. So this is 5 love languages mentioned but we have all the same needs but if someone who expresses love like I'm giving you gifts. And the other person really understands that he's loved one when someone says to him I love you and he doesn't receive I love you but he gets a present is that you know it's just miscommunication so love was given but it was taken. Yeah but it was see that actually we don't need to take Love from any person at all ever. Yeah but I think we should try and go on a little further so what we know now is that that having these things are breaking the law we have a break of the law and what we go to next is we want to know how do we know that we're wrong when we have the ceiling how do we know that we're wrong. I know that but. We only have a certain amount of time I know sound very well so he has any questions I will take a lot of time to explain. How do we know that the feelings are incorrect how do we know that we're wrong when we experience these things. Just to know how do we know that it's wrong or know because I'm sure our feeling is because it destroys us Jesus didn't come here to die so that we could be destroyed right Jesus wants to help us he wants to heal us and the problem in our church is as as soon as something is called sin we have allergies because we think that tomorrow I should be without sin sin is a very ugly thing but sin is a very ugly thing because it is destructive and God hates sin but He does not hate the sinner Ok so when we have actions or feelings or something in our lives which are wrong we don't need to be afraid or depressed because God is in the business of healing our hearts every human being is the same when they are born again they are not free of sin it is a process and God help us through this process but if we think that tomorrow I need to be free of sin then we put a very very hard load on ourselves that we can in no way fulfill. Or take away so Jesus says in Jeremiah I know all the facts that I think towards you this Lord that's of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope and those things aren't which are not thoughts of peace and not thoughts of hold we can know for sure that these things are destroying us and therefore it is a breaking of the law it is not what God intended for us so where do we go when the human mind has a problem I always told you Yes Ok I'll tell you in a different way where is the problem in humanity someone said something the heart the heart is the problem when we where do we find that in the Bible the heart is to seed of all things yes Jeremiah 17 yes out of the heart comes all the evil yet so it's not coming from outside but it's coming from inside Jesus says that and where is the heart located in the brain is the heart if it's a cool thing or a spiritual thing what well there's 2 kinds of heart so we have a physical side and we have a spiritual heart and they function very differently the hardest like a prompt the spiritual heart is a little bit different will come to see so where is the spiritual heart located still not in the brain the brain is a physical thing the hardest the spiritual thing where is the heart located. In Them mind yes not in the frontal lobe we have a spirit if you go to the beginning of the Bible it says that God created man he made something out of the earth which is the physical body then he blew his his spirit into this person so we have a spirit and we have a body and when we die the spirit goes back to grab and the body goes back to the us and nothing works together anymore everything is just not functioning Yes you are right you are going to say. Oh come on come get me yes this is why we need a savior you know these same things I am me from sin in me yeah all of these are still there is the. Work of those lines is. Only if we take from them. We view our reaction to. It as. They care for it Chris is with me if that's true if they were supposed to take care of those who doesn't give them a gift to the right place and have a feeling as long as I'm a kid I I cannot do anything a kid below maybe 12 or 7 cannot do anything as soon as we get older than that the responsibility is ours but if somebody has a message to the police I want you to yes yes exactly what I just told us but this is a physical effect this is a physically fit. Into the right yeah yeah Ok so now we go to the heart in our mind in a hard if we go to Matthew 6 we can read about the hard I don't know if you brought your Bible by the way I have to ask you Do you need do you need a break at some point because maybe we won't get through it all. You are very free to go to the toilet at any time if you need to Ok Matthew 6 and verse 19 is says Lay not out for yourself treasures upon earth where Mas and rest as corrupt and with thieves break through and steal but lay up reassessed treasures in heaven where neither math or us death corrupt where thieves do not break through nor steal for away your treasure is there your heart will be also so from this what does the heart need is that what it says in the. In the verse it needs a treasure Ok Where does the heart always need to be in what direction does that does the heart always go towards attrition So here we have our hearts and you know are hard we have treasure and gain and the opposite of this is to lose the treasure a loss Ok And Jesus says where you are trying here is there will your heart be so my heart will always go for the treasure always go for gain we were never created to lose anything Ok which is very nice I think so want is the problem if my treasure is earthly Yet why does the problem of an earthly trust you know yeah you can answer. Yes yes someone might take it away from us or it disappears or it dies whatever and then we are forced to loss and then we will be destroyed Ok so we'll see that Ethan's talks about the eyes of our heart and I think in being this translation it's called the eyes of our understanding it's also in the German called the eyes of the heart and in the doing one but. These are use is to filter through which the heart sees everything and if you read further in Matthew you will see that the Bible there is talking about about an evil eye and then saying and I think alike it says in verse $22.00 the light of the body is the eye is there for the eye and I be single my whole body shall be full of light but if I and I and be evil I whole body shall be full of darkness if there are frogs alive that is in the be darkness how great is this darkness depression is like darkness Ok it's still Chapter 6 just after the treasures or than there were says about the treasure so we see that what happens if our heart is deceived is that the evil eye is our filter we treat everything through the wrong filter and this causes us great problems I have a problem that mine who notes are only good for the next things so if I have a single lie I will know that I'm a creature of God I see everything correctly how much do I own if I am a creature of God a child look at how much do I own how much is mine nothing Ok so I am only used to it I do not own anyone and I do not own anything how much can I create the power or love that I use for working can I create anything can I create my own love or my own energy No Ok so this is the single lie when I work according to the single why I will be perfectly fine now we have an evil eye that destroys us and the evil I think that I am God I can create my own love I have positions and this can be people it can be animals and think I can create easy love or power. The love and power that I used to love other people and the power that I used to work and the law will help us understand why we are wrong and what happens in our heart now here we have the single eye and the evil eye so I ask again if you are creation or Shiloh God How much do you have to give how much do you have to give all what did we just say if you are a child of God How much do you have how much do you have to give nothing so where do you take from so if I have nothing nothing is mine and I cannot produce anything I go to God I think what I need and I pass it on and as you see now we fit into the law I take from God and I pass it on I have no problem but now we saw what happens if we have the right identity but what if we look to the other side if I am God How much do a have to give if I think I am God How much do I think I have to give everything from who do I give from myself do I need to take from anywhere then but this is the law of death because now we go to give and why do we give to receive something because our tank has to be feel somehow so if we don't go to this place we go somewhere else to fill it up now we have a dead end and we won't fit into this circle of life. This is the law that you see that Paul is talking yeah. Just like at the beginning there was no you. Know it was possible to. Live a happy life. We just received from. The wires the rate has been saved or looked at them so that in the perfect time this without. Upon. The spouse to create leads. To create that perfect time for God and you so far from that I understand that we can get love from wrong but also as a human being the way God made me is that for me to be a healthy human being is not just like. All of that is not just. I just pray to God and I have to meet the people I really want to. My my my how. There is no way I cannot take love. From people that are around. To be looked on. As well for example that somebody else you know about. For a child they have no choice but for an adult for example if someone gets raped how does that not affect So you're saying that if they have I have longed to see why. Even if it is even if they got raped. Because they have that healthy guilt. That what the situation what effect exactly. And. What happened to the cross was he was he sexually abused no one raped him but was he 6. They stripped him of all his clothes yes they did affect him. No it did not effect him for himself nothing ever effected he says for himself he was never heard from himself. And his wife didn't know. Why was well marriage is a need but why is what. Jesus meant mean marriage to be. So for what reason is is Eve created. So and why why do we normally enter marriage to give or take. And what happens if we want to take in a marriage. This is every divorce every divorce on Earth comes from wanting to take something which is not available it is like seeking water in the desert because no human being will ever be able to fulfill your spiritual need never because no person is ever perfect around you I mean not as it is now. But it's not God So if it's not yet and as soon as we stop to give or as soon as we give stop to give unselfishly not to receive then we have a problem so this is why our marriages die because we want to take something from the other one and he does not live up to expectations it happened as soon as Adam had taken a bite of the apple evil and was no longer satisfying his need before you had taken a bite of the apple Eve didn't eat to satisfy his need because Adam never saw went to see for his love with Eve he went to God to see his love to give it I think will go on for a little bit the thing is that this taking from people and animals. However we think we need it that the plain truth is just that if you take from a person and that person dies you will be destroyed if you take from a person and this person deceived you you will be destroyed if you do not learn from God how to put people on the giving side and God only on your taking side you will loose you will stay depressed you will stay sick you will stay in anxiety you will not get out ever and the only way to test if this is true is to go home and try to out the things I just said now yes yes yes if we take from a person like our mother this is the greatest need of many people they come and they say if I could just wake up my mother from the dead I would be happy is it possible to wake up my mother from the dead no do I then have to lose if my mom is dead I have no choice I have to do so the only way to get out of our problems is if we learn to put the people that we take some on the giving side and we learn that the only one we ever take from is God then we can never lose anything yes yes I will come to then. Yes. Yes It's it's coming yes no it's Ok it's Ok but this is it's coming. So here we see the eyes and the heart together this is our problem our identity crisis. We want to be over here being a child of God understanding that we're a child out now being here and being reconverted does not mean that I am not God's child it just means that I'm still blind in some areas of my life Ok which we are I mean when we are born again do we know all things no we like a baby and so here we see that if we have our selfishness our I am God I we think we have to sessions we think we can produce the love that we give which makes me lose when someone don't want my love right and I become dependent on people and animals to fulfill my needs who is in control of my life in this area in this I who is in control of my life I live this identity if I am dependent on the love of other people who is then in control of my life other people now if I never have to take a lot from anywhere who will then be in control of my life yeah I would say God But who is really in control of my life that we will see we actually we don't have a choice we just saw that you know you can never choose lost. The I can never choose loss so what really happens is just we see here that the single I know is that game is to take off from God and give it on and last would be to keep anything so the single I never keeps anything because he knows it was he cannot choose love you don't have a choice now on this side I think that gaining is giving to receive something so I always give to receive and I cannot. Go towards loss so loss would be not receiving or receiving less than I want to receive or that something is taken away from me and I have to avoid this by all means so I would put pressure on people or animals and this pressure will come back on myself my body if I do not receive or I receive too little or something is taken away from me but I can never choose I do not have a choice I always have to go for the king So our problem is how do we change our identity how do I learn to become a heart with a single lie instead of a heart with a selfishness this is the nature we receive from Adam this is the one where inherited from Adam we can do nothing about it but it has to be destroyed before it destroys us and this is the divine nature b.b.c. from Jesus now when I was $21.00 I was only here I didn't have a little bit of a single I anywhere I took from all the people who was around me and then when I got converted I realized that all my friends were not really you know very interested in God and they thought I became very strange in reading the bible going to church not drinking alcohol many things happened in my life back then so most of my friends were you know making the distance towards me and the little trust that I had in God back then with the little piece I had in my depression you remember I said that even though I was very deeply depressed I still had this little thing that I knew that I was safe because God found me so this is a little faith I hadn't got but the depression which was very big was all of this evil thing. And we'll come to see later Also I have a slide that shows how how we grow in this trust but we have no choice the only place that we have a choice or the only situation when we get a choice is when Jesus gives us a choice this is why we need a savior because we are in darkness in blindness This is why the light came to the world to light of every man this is why later to see a needs I felt because they are totally blind and this is why we need a savior if we could do many things if we could jump from this place to this place on our own we would have no need of a savior the need of a savior comes from not seeing your own heart from not seeing the self-deception that when and from not being able to change into the right identity we never have a choice and by this you also can see that we never sin on purpose but just to show you this is you know to me. It isn't Yes it is being as some kind God makes gives us a choice but he might give us a child here and then there is still this big portion of my stony hardware I have no choice and I go and sin every day I count my if I should i am so happy I cannot count them because they are many so many places because he says reveals to us a little by little because we cannot carry the load of the great sin in us because we are so blind that we do not see the great blindness. Then. It's nice to hear all this it's also like faith a lot of faith but. I also very serious that when I went to her about it because. I think it paid for or stopped that. Like a lot of it for all and there was from other people and then of course made me feel like very sad. And I guess that it also explains that sometimes you feel like you you are like you wanting to. Like something that's going to split you apart and sometimes. You fall back on the old habit like Ok I can. Kind of not going to be so angry at me if I just do something like this because that's going to satisfy exactly and why do you call it that you have it with me yes oh yes you know her I begin to cut and what do you call this wanting to do something good so that God will be satisfied when you call it right isness by work isn't it awful Yes. I think me very much when. I say if you think. That. I'm fine that I can be a peaceful and there was a new. Only and thought. I was once you. Know I. But I think this is this is you know this is why my little by little and I mean becoming balanced takes a lot of time. As I said I'm a person with a very strong will and I go and sometimes I have been here and then I've been there and you know Jesus he helps us to come to the middle the thing is. Giving you can give but you can give for the wrong reason like you just said then it becomes like righteousness by works right I give because I'm a little bit better than you but this is not taking from God then the taking is wrong do you understand because then I'm not giving what I had from God. I'm. Not sure. Yeah. Yeah it sounds like you. See a lot. Where. And when you see something yes yes this is it exactly exactly and I think this is very much a trial and error because the thing is you can give something which looks good but it can still have the wrong motive the thing is when we give something which is not received very well we know right away if we gave from God or if I give from myself because if I gave from God I said Oh poor guy he didn't take my good advice I have pity on him but if I gave for me I become offended d.c. So the only way to help us understand our wrong giving our wrong motive in a wrong identity for God is what the only way he can help us see. Our reaction when we put in trial it will be seen whether we give for ourselves or from ourselves our gift from God If we give for the purpose to thank from God and give to other people or we give for the purpose to receive something from them so you can look perfectly fine on the outside but as soon as God allows the pressure to grow high enough as soon as you are over the thresholds of what your spirit can bear and I promise you depressed people you wouldn't think so but depressed people have a very strong will most of us can high in our depression for of a long time and look very happy and look very well functioning none of my friends before they got to live with me or spend like enormously a long long time with me would know that I was a very depressed person unless they saw me put under pressure because I would look happy I would smile I would rather write dress I would rather write clothes I would read I would do the right dates I would do the right work in the church but as soon as you come living with me you will see that I'm not so nice a person because now you see me under pressure also but we don't see ourselves and actually it's a very good thing we should be so happy this is why it is blessings in disguise because many people do not see their arrow do not see the wrong things in their heart because everything is perfect they can handle the situation now if you are depressed or anxious Can you handle the situation no and this is Joe Miro this is what tell you I must be wrong Praise God you know now you don't need to stay in your blindness so when we follow we do not become depressed because we know we don't have a choice but we praise God because now we have a chance to change this will take time it's a long battle but I tell you it is the greatest and most beautiful battle and the most beautiful journey you will ever enter into but never become disk discourage from your depressing you know we become. We becoming barest and we become anxious and we want to stay in our rooms or in the corner of the couch and we cry to God and this is another thing that crying I don't know if you check yourself but I check myself every time I cry do I cry for me or do I cry for God and I tell you I cry for me I think to myself some cuts up consciously and it took me a while to figure it out but the country's Lee I cry because if maybe if I cry enough God will take me out of trial what a deception the trial is love the trial is for my good but I fight the trial I find my sinful actions instead of going and fighting my identity finding out why do I do like I do I just become even more depressed because I failed and you know every time our mind goes around ourselves and our failures and oh I should have done this or I should have done this or I should have done this it is selfish and. Yes. Really. Good you realize this is. News and we can and we can I'm not saying that we cannot I'm just saying oftentimes the crying is an expression of wanting to get out of the pressure because the pressure got so high we cannot handle it so is comes up in our eyes do you understand what I mean I went crying last night and it was because the pressure had gone off hi I did not see my identity I did not know why I was doing or feeling like I felt I went to a private room I prayed to God and I cried and I checked with God Lord why do i cry. And he said to me because it's it's too much for you you think it's too much for you is it ever too much for me no I have a Savior I have a father he never allows anything that is too much he only allows that which is for my good and for my blessing and right rights in ministry of healing that everything that ever happens to Jesus went through the filter of God's love nothing would put on him that was not for the blessing of the world and the same thing goes for us. This is by the way my favorite book of all but she says that nothing we experience nothing we go through is allowed for the evil Jesus allows it only because that if we learn to work with him instead of working against argue President and anxiety but work with Jesus to conquer it it will always work for a good It says so in Romans 828 also in the Bible everything we experience works for our salvation if we learn how to use it correctly. What is the. Born Again yes this. Was a good. The wife oh yeah the good news yes yes but the 1st time you go from selfishness to the right side you become born again. Of the more organic and what isn't there all this well here's something from the blessed Yeah I have actually a picture. Maybe we can give this one this is the one with the choice I think we all really. When through this I already told you that God is your friend you don't have to be afraid you fall because it's not about satisfying God because and we were by it's righteousness by works this is the 1st time I took from God before I took from God There was no error here the air over here would be much bigger maybe I should have had another flight to show that but the 1st time I took from God It was. It was a very sad night in my life I chose to break up with my boyfriend because I could see that the things we wanted in life was very different I recognized that the God He believed in was very different from the God I believed in or actually I didn't really know what God I believed in so I thought I better figure this out and maybe it's good I figure it out on my own so I broke up with my boyfriend but I broke up with my boyfriend because God put me up and then been in a corner you know God never puts force on us but he knows my weaknesses and to help me a little bit he put me in a situation where I could nothing but break up the guy asked me Are we Ok and we were not at all Ok and it had been up and down for a while and he said I cannot stay in this you know sometimes your job sometimes you're down and blah blah blah and as you just knew that if I need to break up it's now or never so I broke up with him and I had discussed this with Jesus for 2 weeks but I didn't do anything about it because I couldn't because what if he gets angry that's my greatest fan life if I anger some person I cannot tolerate the anger of people I am working on that but angry patients for example being a dentist is sometimes risky because people don't always like you when they come in the door some of them are just afraid and that's very good because and I help them but some of them get very angry and this is not fulfilling any of my needs so I can lie asleep at night if I know I have to meet an angry patient in the after which is also a deception because I never know whether the patient is angry I just. Assuming they are and my expectation is so so for the 1st time I took from God This is my very small trust in God and this is my still very small a big trust in the people and the animals around so this is the this is the feeling of my safety you know when I trust God a little bit I had afterwards and him and the reaction in my body and it goes to the mind and the pain mind perceives this as safety or security now I know that I am safe because God found me so I have this little trust in God but here I still take a lot from people and animals that means over here I will never seen again at least if I send over here it will be a conscious choice God can still forgive he can still bring me back but over here it would be a conscious choice and it would make no sense because in this part of my life I am now free you know the freedom that Jesus talks about in in John 8 is the freedom where I never have to sin again I might be tempted but I never have to go back because I know it's a lost soul there I have no choice to do last and if I do so it would be not out of deception but out of choice and it would be like making no sense now here I still have no choice here I still sin but I am born again but Ellen White says that when we want to learn to trust God or God or grow in trust to God we have to do the same thing as we did the 1st time we trusted God and as we did when we were born again but sinning this not make me a back living creature Christian it just means that I have a lot of blindness left in my heart do you does it answer the question yes so. What I wanted to share with you was actually a story I don't know how much time we have left for a minute. Ok. This is most of the story. Yet. The company or what it always comes out a spirit is obviously. You know we have a physical body when you what are you saying yes. I feel like we're in the more force. But the focus is connected to something because the every. This is a good thing. To do one of these. Is it's like the rock and roll. We have to make it so you know there is a specific system and see them has a rich or poor high speed. Weighting way he says half an hour from the Web So where do I take my power from them if I take her and does God ever run out of power I think there is but they decided whether a Yes Ok I have a picture of that. One for. More money for for the simple. Yet so someone is your question about the physical body. All of our internal focus is on the. Collective this is what you want to know is how does my spirit affect my body Ok could I have another flight when we have to going to another Power Point that. We have 2 minutes left. Can we can we go 10 minutes over. Yeah I have many good stories well not so many yet Good morning how do we find oh it's right there just because it's and. This is. Like us something's off because I thought I would have time for all of that So this is the connection between our body and mind so here we have our sphere and this is where all our decisions are taken and in here we have our consciousness and we have our sub consciousness and the subconscious is our heart Ok so everything which is decided in the heart decides what happens to my body if I believe I am a creature of God I have nothing I cannot produce anything then I take from God and I give to those around me and the electrical electrical impulses that goes from my spirit to my body will be exactly those that fit my body so now my body will function good do you understand now is why I think I own something or someone or I or I think that I can produce my own love and I give it and I don't get back what I need I don't receive that which I need or I lose something either people my mother dies or my my cat dies you know some people become depressed when their cat dies I did that when I was a kid I started crying because I thought I lost something that was mine but who owns the cat got own success so did I loose anything that was mine no but I think it's a personal loss because I think I own the cat and I think I own my mom so whenever that happens. The wrong electrical power impulses goes into my body and I become sick and this happens every time I having fighting if the inside a level goes high enough as soon just set about the gun pointed to your head I would have no idea how I were to react to that but I've had. Something happen to me which was very not fitting to my needs. Exams never fit my needs and my pharmacology exam I failed twice and when I had to study for the pharmacology exam I got sick I get what you call it sounds life as if the level of anxiety goes up I get tonsillitis my hands have examined I've had exam actually before this. Before this convention because I'm a logistics host I have a workshop and I have many other things and so the exam I started growing and I think the worst fear was probably this because when you stand up here you take from all that Sit down there always take a very long time to learn to be a speaker without speaking out of selfishness so my hands got very wild and when I was studying for my pharmacology exam they were so full of exam and once that I could not hold on to the hair brush my mom had to brush my hair and this so this you know how our body reacts to the wrong information from the Spirit. Yeah. We're recruiting I think. We've seen. A homeless question how we can be in cities. But I'm here for the convention and love to talk to you you know one thing that. Is the fact that I've never I mean I go really to the company ownership in that fire and yeah I think a lot of those the fact when they thought I had a relationship as a love relationship will make that stock I want to go over there I couldn't believe the fact with a different guy a little Very good yes yes yes and this here is what I feel really sad because I feel I don't think how to destroy it I think is the coping mechanism that we have that it is necessary distracted this is put in a little I'm sure about it yeah all of it is destructive Yeah yeah yeah I'm not sure I would agree with that I think I believe it's true that sometimes I believe that the large latest tour that I'm absolutely and I'm not saying that crying is always wrong because I say that you never say that but she actually says even if it's the person who or she describes the person that lost the father of the family and she says from all the people looking on this family people would think why are they not mourning Why isn't that they not crying and they would say this is a lack of love for the person they lost you would think that right if you lose your mother you would think oh maybe she doesn't like her if you doesn't mourn over her or she doesn't mean it would be a lack of love for this person you would think so Ellen might say says that people who fail to see that the lack of warning or the lack of grief is showing the trust they have not because they know. That this person was never mine they were here for a while and we praise God for that we praise God for that company we praise God for the love that was given we price cost for everything but I have no reason to become depressed when I lose someone because they were never mine you know this is the thing with job he loses all of his children and he says Nagin I can make it I go. I have a lot of people who have their hands up I take one at a time yeah. It's just that we also saw that he was sweeping over to receive the yes but was he weeping for himself. Knows it was weeping over there he was weeping because he felt sorry for them yes yes yes. We are. All because what we. Mean he told the president I am talking about clinical depression. And I have only just before. You up to this yes I I go for it don't talk. I believe that when you are very depressed for some time it can be necessary to take some kind of medication to help you think but as soon as you're able to think this will work. I was on medication myself for half a year and I hate medication I probably will never go back to it. I am not sure it would help me think but I know that at least in the process and when I took it I learned some of these things and after 2 weeks I was better and I wish to come out of the medication and I could not so I had to stay on it for a half a year and I have nothing against medication I think sometimes medication is a plague of all but I think if there is a way that you can when you work your way through without it it's better because the medication might help you think but it can also make you more d.c. and make you more like not thinking so you know. And maybe there are some people that are that far out that it cannot work but I believe I have one in my family who has had great trouble and also suicide attempts not attempts but thoughts of suicide and even this person benefits from knowing these things but it takes a long time to learn I have some D.V.D.'s I also have some huge show things that you can go and look to. And if they cannot watch the whole Sirius maybe you can be the channel to give something you took from that yes yes. Or. Oh. Yes. I recognize what you're saying and and I believe that if you are starving. Or if you got hit by a car something very bad can happen to your mind or your brain which makes it not works very well with your spirit and that can of course lead to depression Yes but 90 percent of all diseases which includes depression depression is a disease comes from spiritual things the problem in our church is that we look to the 10 percent that doesn't come from our mind so what I'm telling you today will fit 90 percent of everything you experience in your life do you understand I'm not telling you that you don't have to eat good food I was eating plant based food since 2011 and I believe it's a very meal that God gave us to eat but this is not the main cause of depression I have been eating crap food and be been perfectly happy I have been eating very very healthy food and being being deeply depressed I have even been eating very good food and being happy and eating very good food and being very depressed it does not have to come from the cooked food and 90 percent of the time it does not and I would see a depression in itself not the season itself but depression isn't in itself I would assume that more than 90 percent of the Depression we have experienced comes from a spiritual lack of love but I agree there is a physical side of course. Like. Jesus. The little 3 of you will have. It depends if you grief for the loss of God It is not unselfishness because God It owns the cat and God owns the mother and it is a loss to God But if you create for yourself. If you want to wake up you know if you have the feeling that oh if I could just wake her up then it is for yourself Ok if you say if you leave your mom and you want money together. Just even though you know that you can't wait to see exactly you need. Someone who will be well I wish it was just the same thing says. That if that's the that's the same thing it's the fact that I'm wrong yeah. On the phone from The Wanted Was it yes it goes very deep. Even though the. Wish I wish my mother was still yes. There for the 2nd look and. Now this is not what I'm saying I'm saying exactly what I'm saying is not dead just because you sin is not a fact that you don't answer heaven we want to go through the full trust in God but the fact that I sin does not have anything with me going to heaven No No One day I will not grieve the death of my mother when I learned that my mother is God and if God choose to retire my mom raised him now she does not have to fight the battle in more if the process exactly and this is what I tell you I sin every day just last night I was crying and I was going to God and saying god why why do I do this what is wrong with me because God doesn't want me to suffer. Exactly so how does. When it's when it's in every case if a crime tore. I'm not exactly Christians. I don't like how do we. Really make it make sense they are yes yes yes I understand I mean this thing is we have some people in the Bible that obviously reach the goal like Enoch he walked with God He was taken directly to heaven Moses was taken to heaven after he died and then we have the sinner on the cross right how much how much cleansing of the heart did he go through. Nothing I don't know what Jesus when. No no I don't believe so I believe I will show that in the other prominent Yeah but but I cannot tell you exactly what happens to the sin on the cross something in him I mean what had well I can tell you a little bit about it as far as I've understood it until now what I've understood is that you know the ice we had before maybe I can just put them up there again. Because you can just see this doctrine which is in your job it is not that as. Well I don't actually believe we are trying to do. It. But it is not we were given grace time to teach us to be that we need to go God we will live. Through the way. To tell the exact truth for the newest of mention each other we now will go in this in wait. And no it is not exactly what I'm trying to say. No I think I think I was just tried to answer a question and then we can maybe soon also come to an end and praise God We have something to talk about and think about how doing. And again has opposed the scam Union. And then the left I think from. The beginning this you think there is Ok so what I have here is I am God and here I have I am a creature of God in if we go back to this line Ok maybe I didn't put it on here but this one is the life of Jesus this is how life did I said Jesus was right and this is the life of Adam and what I do in my Christianity is every single day I go to crucify this thing at the cross I go ask jesus jesus I did this today I normally I would make a long list I don't do that anymore and I go ask he says what do they do because the list will just be too long I'm involved in depression so I ask God why did I do yesterday and I go to go out and say why did I do that which I did and in my heart I can do nothing I cannot change my heart because I am not God So I go to God and I ask him what did I do and why did I do it and then sometimes he reveals it to me right away and sometimes it takes a lot of time some things have taken me 5 years to figure out and I just figured it out maybe a month ago and when I realized they were wrong taking I go to God and say God help me stop play God. Help me not to try and be gotten displacing or I might I might still fall I might still have to practice and learn these things but in the end I become free of this and I come over here in that little part of my heart I had actually in the other cause I know I made in the beginning I had a big black heart it's a heart of stone and then in the beginning when I take from God The little red point is still trust I haven't got any growth as I grow in Christ and in the end my whole heart will be his and I cannot any longer choose to sin and if and when I reach that point I will be among the 144000 there are people that might not be among the 144000 how far they are in the journey I don't know because I'm not God what happened to the guy on the cross next to Jesus I am not sure but I know that in the in the moment Jesus Jesus gave him an opportunity to choose the life of Jesus instead of the life of Adam and he took it what happens to his heart I have no clue but I am very sure the guy will be in heaven and I hope one day I might figure out what happens to those that put in the grain did they reach the whole goal and I just don't know about it I don't know because I don't know the hearts I don't know about the thief on the cross because I don't know how or maybe God will help me understand better one day but this is what I've understood so far I believe no sin can ever enter heaven because if any sinful nature into 7 we have a choice to sin when we come in heaven in heaven there would be no choice to choose since Adam before he fell had no choice had no choice within he was deceived and it cannot be explained Ellen Why says the deer is no explanation of the fruit of sin you cannot explain why Adam chose or why Adam sinned because he did not he had not in his heart and at choice to sin. So this is the best I can answer your your question thank you and I decided that maybe just maybe this may be an issue just remember that if I'm there or even before I am just you on the side only see one page in a minute you know what happened yet but when I run my way yes I know and this is because we do not teach our doctrines in a practical way we teach them by theory and this is also what happens with depression and this season everything we teach that you have to get rid of your sin and you have to do it tomorrow and that is what happened when I got back into the church I mean I was never really away from the church but I got into a church and I want my heart from the preachers chant was you have to get rid of youthen you have to get rid of your chin and I said to myself I really like to get rid of him and I have no clue how to do it so this is really what we need we need something practical to understand what's going on in my heart and how do I get rid of it and how do I not become depressed because I fall because we have like this doctrine is is tricking our mice not the doctrine in itself but how it is preached because in the way that it's preached got because my enemy comes because God becomes someone that I need to please and every time I say I am pushed to despair because in my change I am not allowed to make mistakes and this is why one of my other greatest fears the fight angry people is making mistakes and I took me a very long time to find out why do I why do I have this great fear and I can explain that maybe next year. Or end another time but but but it's very important that we see what we teach because sensitive people like myself will come to the church and they will be destroyed because they don't know what to do with the message. You can have all my flights after if you want. I'm the one. My age no yes my mom was like yes my dream. To read and I have. Got. He looked over all right. He's right. When he says all. But. All this our world what do you know so many people but we have to be aware that God does nothing without our country cocoa working God will never do for you what He created you to do for yourself you got to not go to God for you God cannot ask questions for you God cannot choose for you ever he can give you an option he can give you a choice but he cannot choose for you you always have to choose for yourself and the thing is we have to be very teachable we we don't want to go to God and tell God how to do things and how to teach me when we are put into trial be recognised Ok I'm in trial or I'm in deep under the pressure but I go to God and I find out how can I corroborate because he needs our corroboration we he does not work without us he doesn't you know you can I say or do you just take place or come into my heart Jesus never common perception he wants you to act yourself and he wants you to think for yourself no I think. You can ever bide salvation of course it's you know it's without price I have some can I still go on I think you are free to leave as soon as you want I have some final flight that I really think is very needful that you specially for those that are in deep depression and have many problems and these are some of the things that have helped myself the most Now I have some practical take home messages. Sometimes we cannot do anything those who have had anxiety attacks knows then when you have an excise tax that it's tax you can lie flat down on the floor you can do nothing you cannot think you are afraid you might not be able to breathe and Ellen might have some very nice quotes for us it says that often your mind may be clouded because of pain do not try to think you know that Jesus loves you he understands your weakness and you may do his will by simply resting in its arms let your heart and mind be at rest like a child a child in the arms of its mother his everlasting arms every need you in all your flexions Jesus is afflicted because you are his child sometimes I want to just you know push myself out of depression it will never work because we can never put yourself out of depression we live flat down we wait till it's over and we encourage ourselves that tomorrow it will be better tomorrow I can think a little bit better now our 1st work is to make or God Our friend as I said he cannot be our enemy if we fail he's never displeased when I go to God I can never take something bad from God If I take something from God And I think it looks bad then it's not from God or something is wrong in me but God does not become angry with me when I feel. I would encourage you to go and evaluate every day I do this myself as far as I can those days and I'm not those days that I'm able to when my mind will works well enough sometimes it helps me to get out signs in the morning I don't use the most of my time reading my Bible because my mind this capacity is not very great and I know that I can only remember very little anyway so I go and I talk to Jesus and I evaluate what happened yesterday how can I find the can I do this will help me find the places where I fall and I think to myself or ask God where did I play God and how going to change this way of acting and if you cannot do anything today do not become discouraged if you do not find the arrow today do not become discouraged some arrows has taken me 5 years to figure out one of them is still tricky to me but it's coming around and one quote that helped me a lot is as one drop of rain prepares the way for another in my singing the earth so one good Sadri tree tears the way for another one so the day that I'm very depressed I think to myself It's very good it's good with trials and tomorrow I will think better thinking positively will help me you know the days when I was thinking fear fear thoughts before I fall asleep I wake up with this pain in my stomach you know when you feel fearful in your stomach at least that's how I explain it and the days when I think correct me they do before I go to bed I wake up in the morning and I feel normal I remember telling my mom one day and if your mother is not. Well most mothers cannot take dismay most mothers cannot bear this but I did the mistake I told my mother all mother for so many days and for such a long time I've been breaking up and thinking to myself if I could just feel normal and you know my mom was so sad because she cannot have me suffering she just know that it's for my best and just one day I woke up and I feel felt normal and this feeling normal and feeling good when I wake up is from thinking the right thing when I went to bed so stay in your mind on positive thinking those quotes that we know that can help us go back to them and read them again and again and again the promises of God those things that that comfort you go through them and trust them and this is exercise and then I want to encourage you to keep the purpose before you because if you do not keep the purpose before you which is the love loving like God giving like God taking from God and giving it on if you do not keep the purpose before you if you do not exercise learning to give like God then you will end in the dead and giving to receive so I want to be among the $144000.00 if it's ever possible for me and the fire was meant to then God knows and I want to save my name into the scripture it says make us suffer as long and is kind he envious not see want to snatch herself he is not puffed out does not be save herself behave herself and seemingly seek is not her own is not easily provoked this is very hard for me I am very easily provoked I think is no evil rejoices not in a pretty but rejoices in the truth Paris all things believe that all things Hope us all things in general is All Things me kill and never fail I'd like that now suffer as long with whom do do I need to be patient with God. I know who do I need to be patient with No no Tony it's my patients other people but which people don't that I eat a lot of those that never make me thanks my enemies does that make me thanks I don't know any perfect people they do not need my my patience Ok and the same when easily provoked who should I not be easily prolonged by those who provoke Ok so so we have to think when we see something we have to think we have to think what does the Bible say about these things patience is only needed for those who is provoking and makes mistakes and those of the people we need to learn to love those said do not fit our needs those who do not give us what we want to receive those are the ones that need to slough from God and it is a process in its take a long time but it will help us with our depression and it was make us very loving and very happy people and this is what God wants he wants happy and sunshiny Christians and until we reach the goal he will comfort us he will leaders he will protect us and he will allow us to be put in situations that are hard for us to bear so that we see all wrong taking we see our heart which is deceived and he can help us change. So there is only one way to learn and right says it it is only in the water you learn to swim so as we go and work for God This is I believe that way you can learn to give marriage says fish of these a very good way of learning to give there we often take our parents is a very good way to learn to give and it will it will help us reach that goal and it will help us bring many people to Jesus because they need to see out in the world Christians that love. No matter what they put Christians that don't seek friendship for their own sake but only for the sake of saving the world I think I can a dragon any more now I we have to end but I'm excited that you have so many questions and I would love to talk to all of you whenever if anyone has questions and this is my favorite topic and I'm so privileged that I can present it. Was. Well God Yeah yeah. But I think we may be in for the trend then you're off the Heavenly Father I thank you so much for the privilege that you've given us that we can learn these things but I thank you also for the great responsibility you've given us and that you want us to learn these things not for our own thanks not for ourself getting into heaven but for the people around us who also need to see your love to us lower you know that we are fragile that we are poor we are blind and we do not see yourself we're so naked so deceived that we cannot even see the deceptions if we have to carry this and wants all of all of this ourselves we would just be crushed but I thank you Lord that when we talk about character building and becoming more like you loving like you it is never at work that we do alone but if we are in the business together with God in the business of saving other people. Remind us of the things help us put them into practice. And I pray why did you help. 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