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I Would Never Become a Christian: Miikael’s Journey

Miikael Volkonski
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Miikael was a thoroughly skeptical agnostic with a strong dislike for Christianity and a God who burns people in hell forever. A chance brush with the dark world of spirits prompts him to ask some deeper questions.


  • November 27, 2019
    6:00 AM


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So I said Bring me a stupid bible and I thought I would be able to free her from this starkness and superstition religion if there was one thing I could say would 100 percent certainty that I would never become a ghost. My name is meek and look on screen for the 7 1st years of my life I grew up entirely in the capital of a start him and after that we moved to Dr which is the 2nd biggest town my grandparents were Lutherans but. Like most majority of Estonian people they were. Practicing it my parents were not really interested in religion but I still got baptized as a child in a motor and church and. I remember my grand mother telling me things in from the Bible like turn the other cheek etc and we had. This family friends but we made fun of them because of temperature. Growing up I felt that because I was baptized if God existed I had an advantage over brownie points. My mom said that they had bought when she was young and once they. She and her sisters they asked the spirit to touch them and they felt the cold hand. As a good older I became a very skeptical agnostic although not ruling out the higher power totally I considered myself a secular person like like most of my fellow countrymen. I remember learning about the evolution in the school and thinking about how this step by step development can lead up to something like. Like the human mind. I believe in evolution although I couldn't really understand how this can work in reality. One of the things I enjoyed was spotting that I did my share of drinking and drugs and I was actually looking for something more in my life but that more was not going to come from Christianity because I dislike Christians I I thought they were a bunch of hypocrites I thought the said one thing and did another and their lives didn't really seem inviting to me. I guess the main thing for me was just the silliness of the idea of a person I got. When science was actually proved everything that's what I thought and I just couldn't understand how people with degrees would actually believe in such a stupid thing and if there was one thing they could. Say would 100 percent certainty that I would never become a Christian. If I were to put my finger on them other reason I dislike the Christian. Concept of hell and punishment that just seemed unfair to me the idea of a God who punishes people whose only only guilt is his because of they were born into this world and he's punishing them for ever and ever. And other thing that put me off was Joe's Witnesses and Mormons and their way of doing missionary work the stone and some very individualistic and I'm a realist in that sense so. I don't like. People coming up to me and offering a little offering literature to me in the street but now it's a problem for me because now I'm the one who's doing this. So I had this kind of a fear of Christianity but at the same time I was thinking about deeper things like life after death and the death itself to if you die and you lose your consciousness then what I was looking at this tech company. And this girl named money and came to work in this company and she became my teammate so as we got closer to I got to know her I found out she was a Christian but that didn't scare me although I was a party animal I thought that I should maybe slow down and make a change in my life and although I had had many girlfriends I thought that maybe she's the one that I could. Settle down with so I started to become her about her religion to find a way to corner her. And at that time someone sent me a link to the documentary called sight Christ and it's a documentary about. The current state of humanity the talk about 2 major problems that you need to get rid of one is money that banks own everybody and there is a small elite who controls everything in the world and the other problem the 2nd problem is is belief and they specially target the Christianity and they say that Christianity has been copied from one of the religions so. When I was watching it Martin was with me and I was like yeah look this is exactly what I've been to telling all the time or thinking and she got very upset and she said this is not true at all so I said the money on Bring me a stupid bible and I thought I would I would be able to free her from this darkness and superstition of religion so he brought me a King James Bible but I didn't start to read it right away around the same time I was invited to join the Freemasons society by one of my coworkers at one of the parties he asked me what I was thinking what I thought about God and I said I was not sure but that probably something but I said no to doing mutation because I didn't have the urge to rule the world but I guess that actually prompted me to do some research on my own on this topic while investigating I discovered that there are dark forces and not only in financial world but also in spiritual world and I remember I was watching a video about exorcism and I felt that someone or something is trying to take over a person and I got very scared and. I I suddenly it suddenly hit me that this was real that Satan was real. And I got very scared but I also think I also thought that if Satan exists then God also exists so I was thinking about my own life. That if someone like me can actually be saved but I think that was the moment I actually realized there is a way out in my research I stumbled across some videos on the Internet on Biblical subjects and they found a very compelling and I thought they were their approach was intelligent and made sense to me. In the meantime everything went well at work I had a good salary and I was living for motorbiking and drinking with my buddies and weekends but after finding out about these bible lectures these would absorb nearly all my interest in time so when I got off to work I went through a shop but the bottle of wine and some book creeps and went home watching this we doze while eating and drinking away because I was drinking I got drunk and fell asleep so it was often that I had to watch this videos again one of the lectures I was watching was on genetics and talked about different organs that we have that are so complex that and showed how they cannot evolve step by step they're either deucedly complex it also showed above the dinosaurs of dinosaurs and birds have different lungs and so the bird's going to be evolved from dinosaurs so I remember I remember this voice in my heart saying that the you know have already so much evidence make a decision but I was still. Wanting some more evidence but this voice wouldn't stop and then I remember myself deciding that Ok I now believe in God. So one day out of the blue I got this phone call from this company telling asking me hey we need a new boss are you interested. And so I moved to talent for a new job. And as it was a different social environment I didn't have many friends there and drinking buddies to go out and think with so it was a lot easier for me to starting to make changes in my life and I started to read the Bible a lot. I was once telling my own about these people collectors that I was watching and she said that it sounds a lot like government this would believe. And I said yes this guy he says is 70 something and she said yeah but I'm a 7th Day Adventist I had been watching these lectures in random order but it came to me afterwards that these were actually logical sequence that led me to discover the truth about God step by step in that order that was necessary to me so I understood that God was actually leading me in my search I started the blog about creation and God and became a laughingstock of my coworkers former coworkers and friends and 11 of the Go workers even told me that you used to be such a cool drunk saw what happened to you and my mom got upset also because one of her relatives who works in this company I worked at told her that. Everybody's laughing at her son. I want the same time I started in the church and they ended up marrying money but I was still learning about. Faith. Because I wanted to be sure that it's not something we were cult or sect. So I finally got to the point where I was convinced that it was the truth so. I made a decision to join the church so I get called baptized on June. 6th 2010. My story is still being written. And I have much to learn about God and His love toward me. I'm not perfect but I'm looking forward to what's. The transformation is called As promised to perform in me. And I have peace. I know that I can trust God to save me and to do the best in my life. So my passion today is to share with others what I have learned to me truth is very important and I want other people to be able to evaluate the truths that make a difference for me Jesus says that I am the Way the Truth and the life so the truth has turned on the implications and what can be more important than that.


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