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  • July 12, 2021
    9:00 AM
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God has given us 2 gifts of which we can choose from one of which is singleness on this episode of inverse. I'm coming to you from silver spring maryland. Welcome to in bible based conversation on my sensible contemporary issues and thought provoking perspective. Just in can with in if you've been around young adult or a single communities out there, there is always that one and 2 use out there trying to get people married off. On this episode, we're going to look at the gift of singleness. You're watching inverse. My name's justin came in in his studio. We have sebastian, israel, an seeker with us and say, hello, you all. Aloha, coming in to the studio. We are looking at the topic of sexuality and it is a very sensitive matter, as we have covered in the last 2 episodes. And we wanna encourage you that if you have minors or maybe if the subject is not appropriate to be mindful that this is the topic and that the discussion is advised. Speaker if you can pray for us and we'll jump into isaiah. Let's play loving father was so thankful that we can come to your word to find guidance on all aspects of our lives. And we pray that now is going to discuss particularly singleness in the context of the local sexuality that the holy spirit would be our teacher and put words in my mouth so that the ideas that are presented are not our own thoughts. But our representative of what you, what teachers, we pray these things in your name, man, man, man, thank you. And we said I am going to actually go to eventually go to a nephew. I switched gears here. Matthew matthews, bro. Chapter 19 matthew chapter 19 verse 10. To 12 and smash and if you can read those verses for us. Sure, that would be appreciated. Matthew, 1910 to 12. His disciples said to him, if such as the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But he said to them all cannot ex, this sang, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are unix who are born thus from their mother's womb. And there are unix who are made unix by men. And there are unix who have made themselves unix for the kingdom of heaven sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it. Alright, so we are looking at this topic of biblical sexuality. We will cover in a couple episodes from now that sexuality requires. 2 individuals, not one, not 3, not for 2. And there's something powerful about that number. But here jesus talks about singleness. I mean you, we use the word unix in, in the old way. And I want to ask israel like, why, why is it, let's just, we're just going to back zoom out a bit and ask you a long time ago like a long time ago when you were single. It's been awhile for us. It's been very recent. But for years like long ago decade, decades ago, literally a decade. Yeah. And so especially in church communities, no people want to like if find the single person and get them married off like this in their mission in life and for what it's worth. We do appreciate their, their ministry, so the speak. I mean, lot doesn't happen in that respect for why there is in that people feel like that singleness is not a form of righteousness and marriage is that's a script that's floating around. Why is that? I think part of that it just really has to do with the fact that some people are old school, you know, and then tradition has set in the minds of people that they think marriage is an essential part of growing up. And so I think more than it being a biblical reason for why these people in church want to marry, you often have to do with their sense of stress. You know, you're not gonna be happy, you're going to be single for the rest of your life. You're not going to ever find the happiness that you are craving for. And so I think more out of a sense of fear that people won't be happy. They kind of tried to push people long. I never had that action on the other. So I think that that's really, that's really right. And then I think you couple with that, the fact that the marriage is a biblical thing. And so there you know, people think to themselves unless you're married, you're not following that whole command of god. You know that it's not good for a man to be alone or that god made male and female created them to be in his image. So there is tension between versus like this where jesus says are paul says it's better that you shouldn't be married. And then they always balance that with g, with god, saying that it is not good is not good for me to be alone. So right, so what we'll talk about is why I think the one of the tensions you have to navigate in that discussion right. Between what paul in jesus are saying in the same passage and Matthew 19, he's saying, you know, in the beginning it was not so Right. Jesus is referring to the ideal. So it shows that when god created humanity, his ideal was for marriage to exist, right. Everyone to experience the joy of that intimacy. But in a sinful world, we find that there is a blessing and of goodness to singleness. And I think jesus is point is some people make themselves for that reason to build up the kingdom of heaven sake. And I think a lot of people who push that direction or sometimes trying to vicariously live through other people. And I've had individuals that, you know, I was having conversations with and they were trying to push me and push me, push me, you know, early in my collegiate years like, hey, go ahead and get married. Like what, what's the problem? Right. And you know, I had my own reservations, right? I had my own set backs and prayer that you know, I felt like god wasn't moving me in that direction. And finally, after persistence, the person just came out and told me like, well, sometimes I just want you to get married. Because, you know, when I got married, you know, I got converted after I was married in my spouse's did not follow. You know, in that same path and it's been tension in our marriage and I want to experience the joy of having someone in the same faith in marriage. And I'm like, I understand your situation, you know, and obviously it's a sad situation. But at the same time, you know, we have to be careful that we're not pushing people into premature marriage. Is our sakes, right? For the sake of my own resolution, emotionally that I'm trying to, closing their experience on another person said you have because it was that way. And if it happened to me, rectified my situation career. I needed to push it on somebody else. That's right. I think so basins, but what, what is all said, but think that sometimes imposing what our cultural expectations are normally justify it with scripture. And so they were reading the bible to, you know, to say to, to God, if I qualify it, but really Yeah. And there are some cultures that where it is culturally righteous to be married and they just kind of like I said, they just think bible and they put it in. And there's other cultures that don't have that you don't see that pressure or go back to scripture, which I just find a little bit to be a little bit. I always read scripture. Libby, humourous bend, especially of the 12 disciples. Inverse 89. Jesus is talking about, hey, you know, you should only get divorce if their sexual and morality right and only condition we're going to cover that in a future episode about divorce and their response to the verse. Then I suppose it is such as the case of a man with his wife than it is better that he doesn't marry at all. Like I just find out to be kind of an interesting reaction, whining that's the context of what she's talked about. Singleness ok, it's go to sebastian and, and consider the fact that in their minds they're thinking, it's probably more likely the guy is gonna commit adult. You're right. That it is for the woman. So there may know like if this is the case why you can only leave unless she's outside is I that I go happen. So you can almost see in the disciples mind that the problem societally almost implied in there is there was a male issues, right? With Fidelity, but not so much on the female side, probably for various other cultural reasons. But I think the drive towards singleness is to avoid pain. And one of the things that I find in relationships and sit coolness that stems from the life of jesus as jesus. Then in live his life to avoid pain and disciples. I don't want to be locked into a situation. I don't want to be spoken. The situation, so I'd rather it's probably better just not to get married than to find yourself stuck in a marriage unable to get out. And for some reason people see that as a better. And I think it's because people don't want to do the work for better or for worse, right. Or for richer for poor. I still got to love you and serve your minister to you. That's difficult. And so they feel as if singleness will give me the out. I'd want to speak to, to the, the various i never thought of it that was like I said then you know, with a male perspective. But obviously the disciples realized that What, what jesus was laying down was really hard like the picture that he was painting of the kind of commitment that it takes to have a marriage that is approved of god. It'll take a lot of work to the point where they, I think they looked at themselves and they're like human leave. This is impossible, but there is no way the standard is like so high that it's better that you remain single to avoid having to meet that standard. And I think this points to, like we're talking about singleness because it was relatively recent for me. And I remember part of the joy of being single was not having to deal with a bunch of the stuff that I saw. And I made friends having to deal with having to talk to somebody before you go somewhere. I go away, I want when I want, I don't have to ask nobody like, yeah, I mean, I spend my money the way that I want, I buy What I want when I, you know, just, and I get this I want to do. But it was really like the joy of singleness a lot of times for me was about was, was about avoiding pain, avoiding the stresses of marriage, of waiting, the miscommunications and all that stuff. Right. Not, not necessarily about what can I do for the Lord, which is what jesus now goes into. It's almost like on either side whether you're married. Are you single for kristen? It's all about god. And no matter what side you're on is going to be challenged. This is a, this is a statement in a context of discipleship, not some ethical pronunciation for all I meant to abide by. And I think that this is, this is why jesus says in verse 11, not all can accept the saying, this is a difficult thing, right? Is or I think when you look at the perspective of marriage or singleness at the end of the day, the balance of both is they're the same but they're different at the same time, right? It's like same thing but different. It can tell us, tell us some, some it's not so obvious. In other words, at the end of the day, for me, in my personal experiences, some of the greatest lows that I've experience in my life had have are a result marriage, right? You're in a fight with someone over something very silly. You think about it? Think about it, think about it becomes a huge deal. And then of us, all of a sudden this, it clouds, everything else in life, right? Can I move on with life? Why do we have kids? All these different things, and all, listen, this becomes a huge some of you laughing out there, but somebody like this is this, the thing actually here in the studio as well. You can go by the pen. So the issue is that, that you can avoid all of that heartache which you will. I mean that hardy gets clearly the result of being with someone. You can avoid that by not being with someone by being by yourself, right? I mean, when you're by yourself, what's he said is ultimately funny, but very true, right? You do what you want when you want and there's a certain freedom about that. However, some of the greatest highs that are very expensive, my life are because I've been married to someone. Right. And, and, and as great as you know, sexual intercourse in intimacy is there's a lot of beauty and just being able to sit on your bed and then just laughing for no reason about anything, just like, you know, we were so dumb and we did this or you know, all these different experiences of stories. It makes life just so much better. Yeah. And so you wouldn't, you would never get this kind of high if you were by yourself and the same time. But I think what cry, the thing is alternately, the price of marriage is too expensive if you're doing it for self getting. If you're getting married because you want to be happy if you're getting married because you want to be, you know, sexually fulfilled it. And that's the way you can do it from scripture. If you're getting married because you're lonely, you're paying a to, you're paying too high of a price for that kind of outcome. And you're going to have buyer's remorse. You're going to have buyers and you're going to jump in and you're going to be like, dude, like I had no idea. And that explains why most marriages don't survive, right? Because that's not why they were there. Because sexual intimacy does take a lot of extra work and it takes a lot of a lot of additional components just besides that, which has been here. When come back after the break, we're look at how single people can have children in christ. I'm just in case you're watching inverse, we'll be back after the break. In the been a blessing to you, you have questions, comments or feedback. You'd like to lever. Find us on social media by searching in booth bible on Facebook, twitter, instagram, or youtube. While they're join us like us product thumbs up a handle again is in both bible know faces. Now back to the discussion. Ah, matthew chapter 19 talks about a very difficult thing that jesus says in verse 12. For there are unix were born thus from their mother's room, their unix, who are made unix by men and their unix, who have been made themselves unix for the kingdom of heaven sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it. So let's talk about the share with us seek who, what she's leading to here. Okay. I'll just work back with what he said. He talks about unix, who have made themselves unix for the kingdom of heaven sake. And like you mentioned it before, the break saying you next is not talking about, you know, you know, it's like in the old days, people who served in the king's palace, but he's talking about single people who are single and he's saying that v. S. S. Working for the heavenly kingdom. But the situation of singleness is people who have made the choice. So they make a choice personally that in order to be more effective in god's work for building up god's kingdom that they are going to refrain from marriage. And this is where is to be clear. We're not talking about self castration or weird that people have. Misinterpret this 1st to be, but these are intentionally becoming disciples for jesus. And they make that Choice for the sake of god's kingdom. And guess we can. You can think about paul talking about, you know, when you're married, you're, you're thinking about the things of your spouse. But then if you go, you can think about focus on gods kingdom. So they make the choice intentionally. And then he talks previous previous to that he talked the unix who made unix by men. And so he's talking about this wasn't a personal decision, but it was circumstances the decision was kind of made for you. So circumstances lead to, you know, you being single. And then the 3rd category that he talks about, the 1st one he talks about something about the lastly is that there were unix who are born that from their mother's womb. So this is apparently some genetic or something innate within the person that leads them to a life of singleness. So it talks about these 3 categories where they buy choice for the sake of god's kingdom, where they've circumstantial, there are no men whatsoever to marry or whatever, or there's something genetic or something biological that needs to a life of singleness. And in all 3 situations, he's saying that these are, I guess, acceptable classes of single i just in modern terms, i see biological, social and spiritual singleness going on. And these are categories that are just as little of them. It as being married and a gift that god has given and as you mentioned being single, there are some cons. But they're also some huge prose that god really takes advantage of in that single person. You know, just and this is some, I believe, as the age of marriage is going up in our society and more and more people are opting in that direction. Perhaps for selfish reasons, you know, like alluded to earlier, but also I think the social one is really huge. Because I know a lot of people among my peers who are still single into their thirty's and forty's, who are frustrated by the social reasons, right. As to why they're still single and grappling with that in a lot of, you know, real existential ways, right? emotionally, how to process that. What does that mean? How do you grapple with not settling, but then you know, wanting to get married? And so I think jesus is point here is it's a blessing that he's placed this in scripture that matthew is recorded. This conversation to recognize that jesus is sensitive to that he feels that it is difficult and it is hard to accept. And at the same token, we know that whatever god has recognized as being difficult, he is also provided grace right? To support us through that difficulty because he's anticipated. There are no needs that god was not aware of that. He did not also provide right. He supplies the wants that he creates. So I think that's also important, you know, to kind of ground at this point in the discussion and just to speak to the experience. I think it is beautiful that jesus says that this is a difficult thing to accept because as much as you know, we've talked about whether you marry a single, the talent, there are talented either way. But I think the reality is in most society is being married, there's a way that you are viewed in society that is different from when you're single. And so there's, there's an extra pressure that comes with singleness that you don't necessarily get, you know, as a married person from society. And then even individuals like there, you know, within yourself, you know, the pressure that you experience that a lot of times even in communities of faith, which are supposed to be encouraging and supportive. That either they don't address or they look down upon those struggles that you have. And so their extra pressures that come with singleness that many people don't necessarily experience. And I, I appreciate that jesus recognize that. And he called it out that this is a difficult, it's a difficult saying to accept me. So I was going to say, oh, if you had that either you wanted to, I was going to, I say 56 if you want to say something like that. But I there 56. Isaiah 56 versus 3. You 263-2832 something milestone for 3. Ok. And verse 3 in sebastian, if you don't mind reading, conversely on words, I say 56 beginning in verse 3. Do not let the son of the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord speak saying the Lord has utterly separated me from his people nor let the unix say. Here I am a dry tree for thus says the Lord to the unix, who keep my sabbaths, and choose what pleases me and hold fast, my covenant, even to them I will give in my house and within my walls, a place and a name. Better than that of sons and daughters, i will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. Also, the sons of the foreigner who joined themselves to the Lord to serve him and to love the name of the Lord to be his servants. Everyone who keeps from de filing desantis and holds fast my covenant, even them I will bring to my holy mountain and make them joyful in my house of prayer. There burnt offerings in their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar from my house shall be called the house of prayer for all nations. The Lord God who gathers the outcasts of israel says, yet I will gather to him others besides those who are gathered to him. All right, so tell me cher with this, this, this passage here. See This is Isaiah 56 is a beautiful passage that talks about what actually is really defining what the church is. And there's different ways in which scripture will define the church as a body of cr. It's a community of faith, but this is not a new testament thing, which is what we mostly kind of think about in, in the book of isaiah describing it as a place for people who don't feel as though they have a place in society. Whether it's because you're a foreigner, whatever it is, your future does not look bright. And in many cases, as what siegel mentioned earlier, there are certain pressures that we place on ourselves or society places on us because we're not what we are expected to be. The church is supposed to be a place that provides a safety for that. And I think as seek was speaking. What came to my mind is, I hope that by the Grace of god, I can be an individual who doesn't add to the pressures that people feel. But instead allows for a place where people, where people can feel free, either to be vulnerable. In sharing that they, you know, they're stressed there or there's loneliness or the opposite. There's also a lot of people who don't want to pursue marriage for whatever reason. They're happy in their singleness and that doesn't make them less holy or less, you know, acceptable or whatever. I love that the, this promise is directed towards 2 people. 2 types of people, if you will. And verse 3. There's a word for word connection year in the middle. It says that nor let the unit say here I am a dry tree 1st for for those of the Lord to the unix who keep my sab than choose and what pleases me hold like. So it's hard to unix, here are specific. He's talking to single people who may not have an inheritance who may not have a future. Who may not have children who may not have, you know, whatever they, whatever normal society thinks as the fulfillment of life should be there or not having that right. And there is no access to that. And here god is promising that I will give you, I think, verse 5 is the beautiful promise that says that better than that of sons and daughters, i will give them an everlasting name. So using your progeny, you're thinking about, you know, your, your legacy, your, your, your feature or whatnot. My God is saying whatever you had in mind, I'm gonna give you something better. That's right. Oh, whatever pressure is that single people may have and getting married or whatnot. Better than that better fulfillment and that god has a blessing for you. See that later on and reverse 7 and 8. It's really a discipleship, it's really these individuals who are dedicated to God who keep the company who, who keep the sabbath mean their, with their, their witnessing their, their creating new disciples, their, their, you know, the, how many mothers and fathers of israel do you know, Right? You don't have biological children, but youth ministry or campus ministry, or young adult ministry. They've mentored in a sense their spiritual mothers and fathers a lot more powerful and fulfilling than maybe some alternative choice that they might need. And, and to me there's a huge inside and what you're bringing up that further supports. What is the sentiment behind jesus? His comments and Matthew 19, which is that god pays attention to these people, right. While society me put you aside, while society may make you a 2nd class citizen and sometimes even within the church in the body of christ, right, the israelites might look at it and you don't have an inheritance. You know, do is going to marry you because you're a foreigner, like etc, etc. But god is like, nope, arms bank paying specific attention to these people. And that to me is the, the ultimate expression. Not only of who god is, but also a reminder of who god sees himself in individuals because there was a loneliness to jesus. His life in jesus himself was a unit that he made for the king of heaven's sake. So this idea that jesus can understand and resonate with that right is to the contrary to the opposite in god sees himself in that singleness that sort of dedication, that isolation, that alone is that other people are trying to shy away from using any means necessary to get rid of it. Christ bore that burden, and that was a huge aspect of his ministry in his life and dedication to his mission, to our salvation. I can't but point out, you know, in both instances whether it's talking to the unix or talking to the foreigner in West for the conditions upon which this promise is made. Yes, she says the unix, who keep my sabbath to please me, hold fast my covenant. And then he goes in, in verse 6, when he's talking to the foreigner, he says, who joined himself to the law to serve him to love the name of the law. To be a 7th everyone who keeps from de filing the sabbath holes fast. My covenant, and you know, in my mind, he just went back to the study that we did on covenants that are just powerful, beautiful study. And basically he's saying those who engage in this covenant relationship with me, I will do for you, you know, what is beyond what the world could do. So we think no marriage is this covenant relationship, and it has all these big fruit that all this beautiful fruit that comes out of it. And got to say, I want to have a covenant relationship with you and the Fruit of which foss passes what a human covenant could have. You know, in that marriage covenant relationship which you can go to just the same as clock here in verse bible dot or g, where you can get the past bible study guide on the topic of covenants, which dovetails right here perfectly. So we wanna encourage you to go there and study it is something important to know from what sequence sebastian are saying is that a lot of times what we failed to do in our current context, as we say, look, there's something better that you can be happy or there's this, you know, if you're not married, there's something better in life. Clearly hear what jesus or what god assigned about. It's something better in the future. And I think that's important to note that even though in the present context, life might be hard. The investment that we're making or the sacrifices that we're making, even the sacrifice of sacrificing our own personal temporal happiness, will have far greater result in the name. And I love that this is a gift that god has given and not all our call to this gift and maybe you out there. Maybe you would resonate with what israel has mentioned that you are mary person, but you want to, you feel convicted to create an environment or singles, can feel comfortable to share their gifts of single her to, to the church. Or maybe you are a single person. You're like, lord, I need to really take, take your covenant seriously. Not with my own strict but your strength alone, and contribute to how I can also create more disciples. We wanna encourage you to current to continue the conversation on social media. We're so glad that you decide to join us here on in verse and we are very excited about this 13 week to our, our topic on the, on, on biblical sexuality next week. We are looking at the concepts of the principles of, of marital sexuality. You don't wanna miss it was you here on in verse. You've been listening to invoice. A bible based conversation. Tell you where to draw the jonathan wall. Sebastian, brad dachelle. Justin kim, the invoice is brought to you by the whole channel. Television that changes like morning by episode visit invoice. Hope to Find this on social media invoice until next time. This is invoice.


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