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  • July 19, 2021
    9:00 AM
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Everything that god has created is good, including sexuality. We'll talk about it on this episode of inverse the coming to you from silverspring, maryland. Welcome to in a bible based conversation on my sensible, contemporary issues and thought provoking Just in can with in I'm just in case you're watching inverse in a studio with me is Jonathan kelly and see coo. And we're in the midst of studying the topic of biblical sexuality. So we want to warn you that we are going to enter into some sensitive topics and sensitive material. And if you have minors around, we just wanna warn and alert you to viewer discretion. Here we're going to go to the philippians chapter 2, but before we do so, I'm going to have a word of prayer by jonathan. You can pray for us. Let's pray father, we thank you so much again for the privilege to study your word and lord. As we look at a topic of biblical sexuality, we pray to your spirit will teach us and guide us and our understanding lottery. We invite your presence here with us, and we pray also for everyone watching that everyone will be blessed. As we dive into this topic, we thank you and we pray in jesus' name. Amen. Me, man, man. Let's go to the philippians chapter 2 versus one through 11. Kelly can do us the honor. Absolutely. Therefore if there is any consolation in christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the spirit, if any affection and mercy fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same love been of one accord of one mind, let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in loneliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interest, but also the interest of others. First 5, let his mind be anew, which was also in christ jesus who be in the form of god did not consider at robbery to be equal with god, but made himself of no reputation taking the form of a bondservant and coming in the likeness of men and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore, god also has highly exalted him and given him the name which is above every name that at the name of jesus, every knee should bow of those in heaven and of those on earth and of those under the earth. And that every tongues confess that jesus christ is lord to the glory of god, the father. Thank you. Thank you kelly. We will come back to flip in chapter 2. And so you can, I wanted to ask you, we have been talking about the topic of sexuality for the last couple of weeks. And we have been reading about jesus and here is a wonderful passage and flipping to on his humility and the death on the cross. What is the connection between spiritual things and then this topic of sexuality like, are we, are we mixing oil and water here? Is this okay to do people maybe tell us? Yeah, yeah, it's okay to do. I mean, I think the 1st episode talking about the script that we have, I think that notion that sexuality is based on, you know, it's on the body and therefore evil. That's actually not a biblical script. It's not how the bible describes sexuality is. Not all the bible talks about sexuality and the bible does talk about sexuality sometimes, even in graphic terms. But the way that the bible talks about it actually very much connects the spiritual with the physical, you know, like in terms of sexual intimacy and those kind of things. So to ask of 10, and that's not the topic for this study. You know, you have god even using, you know, sexuality as metaphors for his relationship with these people. So that in sexuality, in that experience, they have things to be learned about god, things to learn about our 1000, the way god intended for us to be. So it's just very much in hind with what the bible has to say to talk. Now there are there and there are weird, you know, spiritual sexual like whatever things out there. We're not talking about that. We're not going to mix the 2. We are not believe the bible does not condone the worship of sexuality itself, and there are some weird exoteric practices up there. But as just from reading scripture by itself, it does talk about this topic. So I wanted to kind of open this up to, to, to, to all of you. Why, why does some people have this idea that god is some kind of killjoy god. Like if there's anything good, god doesn't want you to have it, which that is a proposition that many in the world have, right? O sex, all the church doesn't want you to have sex. God. Those want to have sex. Sex is bad. Is evil. We did talk about scripts in the beginning, in chapter or episode one that some people believe that the body is evil, but some people believe that god is the one that's preventing us from humbling why. Why is that the case kelly and John? Well, you kind of already said it, but I think it's because there are people on earth who say, god says this. And so people in the Church of a different denominations will say the bible says that sex is evil and they don't point to have they say like the bible says it was with a closed note of that. And so like it says that the worst like says it, okay. And in that we're informed by that. And so then we form ideas of god because of what people say about him here on earth. So that's also just an invitation for us to, to study the scripture and what the bible actually, you know, nationally as an unconverted heart is selfish. And once you know, gratification wants all these things. And when it comes to the topic of sexuality, there is a way to approach sexuality in a very, very selfish way. And God is proposing a very different way of looking at sexuality, which is where descriptive will come in as selfless. Self, le plans, the length of it's not about you it's, it's about the other person and it's about an encounter that is really holy and beautiful. But that is not natural to our, to our human sinful heart. So it takes a little bit of, you know, time and of course converted hard to, to realize that. But when you come out on the other side, you will realize, whoa, god's ideal for the sexual experience is actually incredible and beautiful and way better than what the world has to offer. But the reason why some people think it's a killjoy, because when they hear the principles that god has put into place, they feel like, well, that goes against everything that I want. But when you have that experience with jesus, the conversion taking place, you will suddenly see the beauty of the ideal that god has Just just to go back to I guess though the 1st time. If, as from I know in scope to the 1st time that someone suggested god with a killjoy in genesis chapter 3, Yes. So, so we go there $3.00 to $3.00. You have the serpent, you have to flip and, and he asked the question in both one. And the question itself is suggested says has god and did said you shall not eat of every tree of the garden. And then what he's intending to imply by this question, he brings out later inverse 5 he says, for god knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be open. You'll be like god, knowing good and evil. He, he says, did god withhold this from you? And let me tell you what god's intention is, is because he's trying to hold something good back from you. And so this, this notion of god as trying to trying to hold a Spectrum, something that could be enjoyable, that could be pleasurable. That could be awesome. And then it says when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was pleasant to the eyes desirable to make one wise. Basically she bought into this narrative that god was holding something back. That was good. Something that was measurable, desirable that was going to make her wise and it seems like, since then, you know, we struggled with this notion of bought, holding us back from something that would be awesome, you know, a experience. So even, I mean beyond sexuality, i think christianity, religion in 10 role, you know, it can be perceived that lenses, like, you know, they're the, that people who can't do it. But you know, it's a ronnie because it happened in the garden that satan is saying, you know, god doesn't want you to have these good things, which is a lie. The script that he's telling us today is still. And he's telling you to adam and eve in the garden of eden eden, the name eden means pleasure in the place that god created for as a place of pleasure for his pleasure. Christian god, I wonder if pleasure. I know like a quite opposite. So it's, it's very ironic that he's suggesting that and we that we buy into that life so quick me. And just in a similar way, I see genesis 3 also play. Now it just in, in media today. Says that the media of too many movies or shows to, to recount, of just how sexuality is displayed. And the, the way it's shown as like this is the best way. All these people are happy, you're not happy because you're not being like them. And so they were like, oh that's forbidden knowledge. God says don't go that way. You're like, you're just holding me back. I can see that they're happy, i can see as desirable to make one wise. I can see it's good for me. And I got like noble like it's not, that's a line or like, I don't believe you. And so we assume that because we see happy face is going this direction and was like actually go that way. We're like your killjoy, because I could see happy faces over there, but it's not true happiness. We have social science data that does have evidence that married individuals have more fulfilling physical, intimate lives, more sexual experiences, more happiness level, happiness levels. I believe it was in the last episode where israel said that that mary, people have lower lows, but we also have higher highs, right. So they have more fulfilling and more more more of these, these upper ups, more of upper experiences. But as you said, media portray that married people live like these born live sofas, and it's the, those who are living very quote, you know, Yeah, the live that they're like, the tray. I have it as having the most fulfilled sexual lives. But that's not the case. A social science data shows. Yeah, there was, and it's even just even the small things like I was passing through a room of someone's watching a sit. Com and in those 15 seconds i was in the room. There were like 2 jokes about how people who are married don't have sex, and I was like what, what, that's what the absolute is about. It's just a passing them at a moment in the conversation and definitely the focus. So what happens with things are the focus and but you get your like that like laughing because it's like the backtrack. Laugh that reinforces that in your mind. So I don't want to get married because then I'll get to intimacy and then yeah, well if you go to genesis true, we do see evidences that, that sexual intimacy is good. We see that in verse 24, chapter 2, verse 24. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Verse 25. They were both naked and the man and his wife were not ashamed. And we looked at episode too on not just physical nakedness, but also spiritual and social and just that bone ability with each other was established there. And we find that thank you for sharing that eden means pleasure. So god is, is, is, is a god who yeah. Who created that? Yeah. I think that's important that we really make that clear sex is a gift from god. And the actual experience that god has for us is, is an incredibly beautiful, really holy gift. When I say holy, some people might feel like, oh that sounds, that sounds like, how does that work? It is because it's biblical and God has put it right into creation. So for all those out there whom I think are you know, sex of bad or evil or not, that can work with god so well is like no god wants you to have a beautiful sexual experience in the right context. The right parameters that he has laid out for us, but it is a beautiful gift from you want to ask you so to me more about philippines to hear where does philippines to enter into our conversation while what god had intended for sexuality? Yes. Obviously have been marred because I've been sent into the picture. Adam and eve, believe this lie that the seventy's telling that god is withholding something good. And. And so it is a Spectrum us a little bit, but what jonathan was saying about, you know, under going that what god made his good all throughout genesis chapter one god creates. And he said it was good. Good, good. That includes when he created humanity and he told him, be fruitful and multiply, which in the sexual interaction it is good, good, good, good, very good. And so this thing that was good that god intended has now been mar the because of the transgression of god law that happens in chapter 3. And so from then on we're god is trying to bring us back to what the ideal experience was, what the ideal experience of sexuality was that he intended. Okay, hold a thought when we come back after the break, when I look at what was that ideal experience intended for humanity, i'm just in case you're listening to the inverse. Well we back after the break have been a blessing to you. Do you have questions, comments or feedback you'd like to lever? Find us on social media by searching in booth bible on Facebook, twitter, instagram, or youtube. While they're joining like us caught us thumbs up a handle again, is in both bible know faces. Now back to the discussion, ah, welcome back room philippians chapter 2. Well, out of headed to philippines have to do ok. Transitioning from from, from the dentist to fix dance, that, that thin, thin marred it, altered it completely like kind of put flipped on its head. What god had intended, in terms of the relationship between adam and eve, i mean the you look at have to 3. Adam goes from saying, well, you know, poetry about this woman to be like, oh see the one made me do it right. And they're pointing things that is other, you know, that, that, that intimacy has been broken, that, that trust, that trusting relationship has been broken. And now just their relationship is not focused on how can I serve my partner, it's on self preservation. Like without going to the actual versus in chapter 3. But like it's, it's who can I point the finger at so that I'm not culpable for my own actions even. And you contrast that so jesus comes and philippines have to, to you have this picture of, of Human interaction that is mandated at the beginning of chapter 2 is that, you know, don't look on your own interests. Don't be thinking about yourself. Like how do you preserve yourself, how do you make yourself happy? Like the self focus, like that shouldn't, that's not what it's supposed to be. And the remedy is that jesus came and modeled for us what it actually looks like to be others focus. Right. And this is what god had intended from the beginning for adam and eve. This is what it was like before the sun comes into the picture that jesus is that kind of is that picture of, you know, thinking of others as more important than himself of looking to somebody else's needs rather than my own. And you contrast that with our, like what kelly was saying, our, the media, the picture of sexuality right now. It's totally me focus utilities principles. I'm flipping chapter 2, which are all about self denial and service to others and service, serving others until the point of death, right? Going to the extreme. And these become fundamental principles for sexuality as well. The world portrays sexuality is something, hey, it's my need, I needed to get fulfilled. I'm going to go out there to get my needs fulfilled, right? Even within marriage as well, right? It is a battle of meat, of my need versus your needs. But you take this and I think the larger picture so amazing is that a lot of the basic principles for salvation and spirituality are the same exact balls for, for sexuality. Right? I mean, that can something really weird and denial, denial and serving others. And looking out for the other person is kind of ideal. And in our modern society, we wanna, we want to kind of separate those 2 by looking at holistically they're, they're, they're, they're st. John's, really the sexual encounter is, you know, ideally is represents the self less love that god has for us. God serves us. He loves, as he wants us to be happy. That's why he created the garden of eden, the garden of pleasure. He wants to uplift us and give us a great life, you know, and in the sexual encounter when we take his principles, the focus ideally should be on making the other person feel accepted and loved and appreciated, and worthy and not focusing on what I can get out of this but focusing how can I make this person, you know, happy and loved and, and really feel that they want them to feel that they are known. And, and this is a beautiful, very deeply emotional and deeply spiritual experience. When you take this principles and apply them, and what this means then, is that what we talked about the scripts and I think in less than one that the scripts of this world are telling us a completely opposite picture. And so jesus is giving us a script here that when we trust him, he will help us applied his script. In fact, later on in the chapter, he tells us that god will god will help us and give us strength to, to live this way. Because naturally we can't do it with his help, he can give us this, the selfless heart and apply it in not we talking about sexuality in the sexual experience. You know, when you go to the supermarket and you see like, you know, those magazines and they were like, hey, how to have the most incredible sex ever. And then, you know, I've never all those magazines, but you can see the titles out there. And our, our, our, our episode is entitled incredible site. So people might be looking at tv. Got my go, incredible sex, going into our app. It's like, oh, this is what we're talking about. So the bible does give principles on how to have that maxim more sexual experience. And rather than talking techniques or like candles or the music or the om beyond, or the color of whatever, whatever, whatever we're talking about, full on vulnerability with your partner, with your married partner, full on exposure and no judgement, no guilt, no shame, just full on just that the experience that we're also talking about here in total service going all out for the other person to, to experience that which god has created. We need to be all about god and all about the other and not about self. So get share with me more, more other principles on how to surely those are not the only 2. What are other principles to its experience, this incredible gift that god has given to us? I think another principle, it kind of encompasses the 1st 2 you said, but that is about having open conversations because you can maybe even have that desire your heart of like I want to serve as person, ought to be a blessing to them. And I know how that works and I know what to do, but like, you might not. And so it could, but it could be so awkward to have those conversations, but to do that anyways, because again, just blenny, both those things have been. Others focused and being completely vulnerable. So we can just be like, yeah, I have like their best interest in mind. I hope it works out, but it doesn't. That's not the purpose like even service itself requires you to put your pride aside and to broach those kinds of topics and to say, even teach me how to serve you and teach me how to love you in a way that you can that you can really experience what I want you to Enjoy another one, another one that, that I was saying that it's not necessarily related to kind of talking at the emotional level, you know, vulnerability, but just a practical thing. Just, you know, the healthier that you are, the better the, the, the sexual experience can be for you as a married couple. Yeah. Because you know, if you're sick, you know, it was a, go help any physical act. And I think what's, what's interesting is like when god, when god gives principles in his word, you know, like, you know, for being healthy. And, you know, we kind of think, you know, how health principals. I have to eat a certain way to exercise and whatever. But the, the, the ripple effect to the rest of your life, to areas that you don't even think about, you know, and, and this is one area that it ends up impacting that when god cares about our health. His yes, who cares about your physical health, but it's going to affect all these other error. Yeah, no, absolutely. There is how many physicians have said, hey, you need to stop eating this, going to stop smoking. You're gonna die soon. Right now I'm going to don't live the way I want will fix her sexual health to, Well, I better stuff. And I guess all the way it is funny, but just her health in one area impacts all these other areas. So this is what we're, we're, we're portraying is really a whole listed picture where everything is affecting everything. And that's the way that god made it to be. Yeah, yeah. Kelly and jonathan and kelly, we don't. Okay. Well, another aspect that is that you want to deal with any guilt that you might feel in your life naturally in the area of sexuality. You know, if you have, in your past dealt, you know, being exposed to some inappropriate materials, whatever, just banal, coffee, et cetera. That stuff burns into your brain and so you want to ask god to help you, you know, be cleanse from that and the because those things will affect you in the sexual encounter when you are married. Yes. And so, god, but god, who is the god of sanctification? Yes. Wants to give us victory over the same. He was to cleanse the heart and fill us with the heart of jesus. Yes. The beautiful thing is that really we thank you for cation with that transformation. That takes place as you walk with jesus, your sexual life will get better as well as every aspect of your life will get better because you are more and more in tune with god. And if both of the partners really are, as it says, philippians to, you know, inverse to being like mind that having the same love of one accord one mind as you have that experience, that can only take place in jesus. But when that takes place, so that you're, you're, you're killed this taken care of your relationship with jesus. It's healthy, both of your relationship with jesus that was automatically transferred into your marriage relationship and into your sexual life. And that really brings a level of holiness and, and beauty to the sexual encounter that is not there in the casual sexual experiences that people have. You know, everyday i think you're spot on. I think there's so many people have had negative experiences and unsafe encounters. And just and that has really, you know, infringed upon their, the, the topic altogether. And so spirituality, really, the ideal experience is a safe, safe environment. And so for example, I mean for present we, that's why we're talking about this here, right? We should be talking about this in the church. We should be talking about this in bible study. This is a whole the topic in a safe zone. Something I just love the harp on about who god is and that is his, his rules, his parameters. They're not arbitrary, god isn't bored and saying like, you know, let's make sure you're not selfless. Just because I like that. Like it's actually you yourself are you enjoy it more if you focus on other person as like, oh, just be healthy. Just cause I like you to be healthy like know what actually it makes you enjoy it more like oh just don't be stressed, don't be guilt. Like all of these things are interconnected in such a logical, holistic way. And I think sometimes when we even just about sexuality, but anything we just like, oh God, I don't like the god makes that rule. And God, it's not a rule. It's a user manual of like, this is how humanity work. And so it's like got upset that will do this like I don't like your roles and he's like, no, I'm just I'm telling you how to fix it. And this is how you work. And so if we see it more as that of god. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I would love for you to have the best life possible, the best sex possible bus everything. Yes, this is how it works. If we took that as descriptive instead of him trying to rule our lives, we will live much happier lives really, that those who study the bible should have the best sexual experience, 100 percent. That sounds a weird talk coming out of my house. Oh no, it should be he created the gift to begin with. He did so if I can make a radical step in here, sex is kind of like the sabbath and what they mean that. Yeah, when you buy that, yeah. But then it is a celebration of god's faithfulness of god. You know, creator ship, it is a day of where I worship and, and reflect god like I praise him. I connect with him, but it's a celebration of my, of his faithfulness to me and my life. My fearfulness to him, of my life with him every week and a weekly basis. I celebrate god on the sabbath, right? Because of what has happened throughout the week. And the sexual counter is, is, is kind of like that celebration are when it comes to marriage of what god has created you, insects. It's not about all that I, for just, I want to feel good. It's celebrating what, what's already there, what's already been the foundation is not. It's already is what happens on everyday life, your relationship on liberating what's already there. Yes. Not as a pre requisite to other foundation or something. Exactly. Because even at the end of the day, like sex is only good because you already feel you feel trusted. Are you trust that person is love? Does not. You're not creating trust. You're not creating love your confirm, you know, as you said, you're celebrating what is already created and what you're already so much enjoying nuances that they were time at the sexual experience. But just so that there is no confusion. We're not talking about that, that short period where, where the, where the 2 individuals are experiencing the pleasure. It's so we're talking about the before and the after this is the entire package of reality. I want to really capitalize on johnson saying, is that sabbath and sexual? There are 2 gifts that we have from the garden of eden. We see to, to creation accounts. And to apex is that we see in those 2 narratives is the 7th day sabbath. The close experience we can have with god and sexuality within marriage, the close experience can have with another human being. We wanna encourage you to continue the conversation on our social media handles at inverse bible on twitter and on Facebook and all the others. And we're so happy that you decide to join us. We'll see you here next week on inverse as we continue this most important and sacred topic on biblical sexuality. You've been listening to invoice a bible based conversation telling Jonathan while the bashing wraps in justin can, the inverse is brought to you by the whole channel. Television. That changes live more by episode in hope to Find this on social media. Inverts bible. Until next time this is invoice.


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