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Parents? How?

Don Mackintosh

Presenter

Don Mackintosh

Chaplain/Pastor - Weimar Institute

Director - Newstart Global/the HEALTH Program (Health, Evangelism, & Leadership Training

Sponsor

Recorded

  • April 25, 2006
    12:00 PM
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thank you Eric while by the international with my wife learned that this is my wife file yesterday to see a picture in it was too dark of my tool girl 's father with three women wife and two daughters and this is Strabo with all of Strabo is now in the second round of hair first run of your fellow and she had a rapid developing alopecia that was reserved reversed by microsurgery surgery on the table and fell in the glue gun and three of burnt fingers later she came back to life and only to be lost at the park for three weeks but she's back with the decision-making also a one figure growing up is about to now her name is only Catholic alumni colors make it Romanian is make for small smallest words most major and Romania my alone is bigger and small of course a small clip on the other sneaky that's making and that's our drawing up math a legacy was that the day he was a follow-up with her she would come up and hug you and kiss you intimacy never met before you looking for a relationship she would have a relationship with you those areas that are really relating type person everybody likes that I try to get her to sit with them it serves another wherever in this is of course Malcolm Winters can be heard from this picture and there he is outcome that as of just a few minutes that is what I was already discounted looking around and is this a great guy I can't think of having a life without these people I'm glad to not see you guys anyone go back to see them again unless they had today so I am really glad to see you today yesterday we talked about God why don't we talk about the fact that God wants that he no no matter think there are the ones that and even aboard despicable like Sam went back to look at even get that the Dennis and I think you might enjoy the tape is coming from my personal testimony and fidelity still a little more testimony with you as we talk about our second something today which his parents how now how many of you that is any question have parents and most of you do some of you may if I asked another question how will you live with both biological parents Bill harder for some answer I would get along well with your parents might be little harder for some of you already have great parents and never had any problems are present all you just raise them correctly to do everything right of people just have a real good experience with their parents other people do not I did not have a great experience with the my parents are beginning to talk about the importance of that today you have a positive relationship with your father last days it says the bill be problems with parents people because of Venus address of the ungrateful to consider nothing sacred the Bible says and now researchers and shown that this is very important the Harvard Masters of stress study says eighty two percent of participants who had low walking close with her father had diagnosed diseases in midlife and brutally fifty percent of those who had a high warmth and closeness with their father there's a physical problem or physical problems and develop we don't get along with our dad John Hopkins University looked at cancer and said the best predictor who would get cancer decades later was the closeness of the father-son relationship early in life in a relationship with her mother again Harvard study ninety one percent of participants who did not perceive themselves to have had a warm relationship with her mother then serious diagnose diseases in midlife including coronary artery disease high blood pressure blood will also now call as an convert only forty five percent of those who present themselves in a positive relationship is it important to have good relationships is a lot called his parents how to get along however good relationships one hundred percent of participants all of them who rated both their mothers and fathers lulling warmth and closeness thirty five years earlier had diseases diagnosed him in July with both you are on a trip on a train wreck arrived to heart disease to cancer diabetes could it be that the problem is not so much what we eat although it can be but are relationships that are related to help this lady and her husband that my church right people this was a great mom and dad figure neighbors though loving and kind that they had it all at their home in twenty thirty forty people just test that were starving for love there's some people that are just parental in all the right senses think of the Bible the wonderful theme that sometimes is skewed because of our mission relationships are our distorted relationship are disease-related of clipart fathers and mothers that still nonetheless the biggest name in the Bible is the eternal love of God God will voice pocketbook father how he loves us perception of love itself may turn out to be a core biopsychosocial spiritual buffer reducing the negative impact of stressors and pathogens in promoting immune function and healing so this Harvard study unless they are looking at college a student is the same group ninety five percent in five words and related their parents love and parental caring had diseases diagnosed in midlife to the way they talk about their parents only twenty nine percent of subjects in his many positive words and rated their parents I am for the Kerry had diseases diagnosed in midlife is a positive things about your parents or negative it will tell you that aware you are relationship of these descriptions of parental love and caring for future health with independent of a family history of illness and smoking of emotional stress of death and divorce of parents and marital history fascinating research under member this guy consistently offer guidance of Teamster and it was is known for his anger and hostility that is in getting things done I wanted to say to you today that while I think pretty happy and there was why poses very bitter very angry military veteran my father and that is really now that I think about it not to a resistive inventor of my father and I got hit by train and seven years old doesn't do too much for your physical body or the way relate to people that he and the rest of us had a head injury and I have a hard time concentrating almost different things I didn't really know that growing up my file and I became estranged I have three daughters I'm into Gaza one sign-on if I want to be close to the mall with your dog probably screw something up probably already have but I want to want to be close to because I know it can happen when bitterness comes innocent Delwin diving and more more strays I remember sixteen years old I can include them I doubt my word is not to be getting along and I can remember telling one day the kind that I can say this are not happy about life as it is a miserable angry Perth him under the minister until I now must've been found them looked at me it is dismissed remember how that relationship got more more sorry to be involved in the college my dad came to my graduation my dad never told me he loved me except for maybe two times whole life it gave me a Bible like to vent Bible through the Bible across the parking lot I said I want nothing to do with your God your Bible was a better I was very better yesterday but I was elated to go to understand that now it is only the bitterness can lead you to reject a people but the best way to get back at you he's a minister is to reject his God I didn't understand that but this was a big motivation to defile many people Bible talks about bitterness is to pursue peace with all people in holiness without which no one will see the Lord look carefully less than what most of the grace of God lest any root of bitterness springing up to trouble and spray me that can happen fast bitterness can happen fast it can be rampant in moments it can spread to others causing trouble and by this many become the file of their say to you that many people are in the hospital across the road from there because of bitterness of their city that many people in this room are struggling with bitterness I would daresay that if you haven't struggled with that you will I would daresay to myself that just because I'm talking him they doesn't mean part from interventions that can spring up in my Wi-Fi sophisticated my disbelief in God I have all my justifications and I had all my different sources I like BF Skinner I like Charles John I like the look Nietzsche was drunk that all of these philosophers and I found justification for a whole new way of life when I went home I would tell my dad how he was wrong and why these people will write one of my favorite Carl Rogers who although having some developments had no real source of the story and I sophisticated arguments for unsuspecting persons and pervade my bitterness that have spread broadcast the probable of this telling you I know little bit about bitterness limited to she discovers who she discovers on maybe three or so was I came to an understanding of how bankrupt I was I talked about that yesterday that lady in the hospital who said she is going to die as he was an atheist it had been her whole life and see sixty five result as he says is not working for me at all of her family comes in all of them have any relationship with God after all miserable they don't not handle why they don't have see their mother died at and she's come to the end of life and in her last gas he said would you pray for me I want to accept Jesus and that set me on a car of even greater bitterness I said what in the world is going on I told you I went to South America in this number had failed relationship because I was so bitter I didn't trust anybody because will close the main had in my estimation let me down and if God was like that I wanted nothing to do with them I couldn't trust anyone else yesterday 's lecture was important because unless we come to know a loving God who cares for his ANOVAs will never be able to deal with bitterness and I was after me you want me to deal with it I'm a few years ago your watch TV last to sporting events and there was this guy will always show the rainbow hair color or look to rave on and will sign calling John three sixteen Jesus loves you always get a shot in the mess we got really is as I try to get the shot you may reject the families always after you and I was after me so I made that discovery is that talk about this and that they are sonic Ajax just love all of the psychologist to play the blame game Roy go back to your childhood and discover why they're wrong and then talk about how your parents are toxic in your church is toxic and talk about everybody else is the problem but feeling on the husks of everybody else's problem with the love that they have made on it you can find one sire nations that they got you got people are bitter because one nations is on their soil and they are they come forward with their writings versus another families nations individuals are many times motivated by revenge and bitterness my right Aurora nationalism tribalism is it rampant among the personal level I just love being able to say all the things that justified my hostel in the behaviors selecting that moment where I almost ended my life and I was writing NSR route home and accepted Jesus in Ohio of all other places I began as a way to know what got happened when I opened I went back and I found that firefly still had the Bible even like throw it across the room I went back and I found the Bible and the map of the diesel rabbit and I was a rest area and I began to rain the Bible and in the back of the bottle in the front of the Bible there was this guy my dad and written down he I never read what he wrote before he said lots of love with personality and write it in the actual wonderful side Ecclesiastes twelve remember the Creator in the days of your youth before you basically fall apart and I instantly had this urge to come back my mother was always loving that my father and I resented it even then but I still kept reading and I came to Texas to detect changed my life it kept me writing home at Ezekiel eighteen verse fourteen of my added part of seventeen American Michael Moore sense if he however begets the son who sees all the sandwiches flowers entry centers but does not do likewise to sell Sara Lee lab this fact saying smile like they were read Ezekiel eighteen three generations a grandfather or father grandson visiting inequities of the Bibles and for the third and fourth generation of the net take me but showing mercy in the valve of a loving and keep my commands this is kind of amino acids is now the commentary and the society explanation of that fact and as I was reading that text I think that that that chapter I came to this and I I saw verse one wanted to assess the children's teeth are set hands because the fathers that eaten sour grapes there was bitterness it was rampant it was transgenerational was replaceable it was battling with diabolical and God 's word here is something about it that you can see I said that your father had done what you can even consent how have to do likewise I was the image of the father I was so wrong he was bitter I was bitter he was angry I was angry and some I recognize that I don't have to did they like it I is wrong in that sense these people are wrong then hit me at Saturday's estimated dampers it does it have to continue of evidence in positive you are struggling with it in earnest doesn't have to continue it doesn't have to continue one more minute is up today is your relationship with your parents is wrong your relationship with your husband or your wife is in the wrong relationship with her kisses can be run is important in the relationship but arrived counseling people are getting married what you know about that person 's parents or my best what about that and I began to see what is going to be the issue people need to say anything sadder but not the likewise MN don't underestimate your relationship with God is very important in relationship with your parents is also even if they've been bad bad to the bone that was my first right discovery and I thought Ohio I sent her a begin to thank you back and in the same way this is amazing and secondly there was a divine appointment I got home and I were alright there was my mother I will tell her how close I come to doubt because the woman devastated her Wilmore cited in and tell her but I was there and she had a back problem I was taking care of her with her back from that I hurt my back and that she was taking care of me with my back got the thing you know back off so anyway as I was there my father was circling sort of like a spiritual Toronto wanted to offer jewels and gems it's amazing how people have so little insight into what they can have cost in someone else's life or what day perception of what they cost of a great question very dead to ask is is there anything that I've done that is hurt you are upset your is anything that that that you would say I've left undone that I think it's a good thing for test ask your dad today always ask the question is asking when kids are five I asked my daughter that given that she's five Seattle was about five inches long and I try to clear it up the form of bitterness spring but that was then I was resentful and everything that my friend called Debbie says that there's this can on scan Windows then I was a cultural and in the select sour cream you know cultured sour and I was raised in the church you know I'm why I was the high dairy side note I like the lateral and spiritual heart disease below the game and come back with me and so I decided I would go out of this land is newfound love and his newfound love for God I always wanted to start again I I I I I sang the song in my heart to Jesus Jesus loves me this I know I stopped all of the cash to the camp together with their live there but then at the last moment just like the sort of the disaster like AAA travel times and they added to the stand that was going to kill everybody my dad said I wanted to know when well known the England wilderness is so much energy to produce you really want to go but he went singing hallelujah sing to Jesus Melissa was on the way but never think your business with the person sitting less than three feet away in my resentments are compact and gotten scant this appointment was a men's retreat and this will like it I was at thing and I was okay let a look at my dad and I do understand and I decided to walk the walk home by late someone bargains like campus of Michigan around by this walking going past the teepees of the Indian village visitor info on arrows and as I'm walking past this guy literally jumps out of the bushes this guy was a large guy recently been able to jump that higher far and he jumped out of voices of Munising like intimate his mother 's Tony and Tony Lisa Midgett but in my case is is that you often don't know the bushes to dry and scare people and is outside this was at a consultation with mother nature and system of backup trail October consult you know urology whatever so jumped back on the trail says that he is not you know how to pray listen to me when you are just praying on me within the frame PRA why I said it because me and understand it just within three months before I prayed my first prayer five years my pray for that lady as she was dying I said look it up right what's what goes on in the seminar in my cabin over here like you to come to my seminar that I will be talking about a fragile think people really know how Presley after the Bible says that we don't know how to pray as we all decided I didn't know something is going to write a little outrageous and offensive to let go and tell you like to know is bothering me know I said that thank you limitations on government sites a copy was that you may select back to rank them he was unable to do it with the crashes injuries and he would run into him I would imagine because I was somehow fighting against this defendant is really bothering me and guess where I found myself several hours later I found myself approaching Tony 's cabin and there were some other city in the recruiting that day Tony has been to a lot of places and they were different people coming to his cabinet well done inside the Tony began to talk diseases you know one thing allow you guys this weekend meeting on Friday because you got there got problems with one another you got bitterness against each other talk like I just thought you today you should limit of his testimony is as I want me to do a prayer based on the sanctuary study the Hebrew sanctuary told me all the stop roles he was the quite unique as the last guy wants to take you away from your sins he wants to bring it from the last one where you are into his presidency need to take care of all that bad if you want to become together with and gotten together with others and I think that's the purpose of failure under the me I wanted begin to lead us in this prayer first thing he has to seduce is that you want to do is just kneeled down to them together and if you have anything to be thankful bounces in all things give thanks for this little Christ Jesus so I want to do there was just the fact that some of them survive and advance anyone Sarah Sarah ninety the sake of it I want to say amen amen some religious people do then there were secular and those people there the thing is that you still own the wheel down now I know that I could really think anything to be thankful for except for now I believe in God and that I had killed myself pretty big thing that they were not have an interest in God 's but that the cement went on for a while because the next question asked this question was coming between me and you God was asked that question of the Holy Spirit brings it up don't say out loud as we don't want here but just right down to the headline piece of paper and as he went to that what's common between you and God will sit on tonight I was just rejoicing of the residual by losses the place of separate is not least interest of God so I didn't have much but man I'm pretty much on the right trip in the estimate what is it that's coming for you and others who it is any wicked way in Mehsud is a separate of man when he said that you will need away pop into my mind reason for the loss my dad knows like coming between us I run down my dad this is what's coming between me and others in coming between me and got some extent and then I have all the reasons I was rehearsing their we did that for one eleven when he did this he would write instantly activates a low you can bear all the latest and we would we would then when he would have us he has repeatedly first one hundred and if we confess our sins in spite of all and just as RSS enclosures from outright dismiss it wasn't anything a man I sat in the Denville like I was going to anything concerning this banana is big obvious to less than Galatians five fruits of the flashing approach of the Spirit in the list anger all that think everything I felt kind of towards my dad was in the one less present asked him to replace it with the further the spread I wasn't happening to me your ventures and Justin happened for him this didn't happen I wanted to have there been assiduously embittered and selling you really would like to take it away he liked to go we like to come back to them like to clear things up when it just isn't happening as well about it was a work in process finals is almost over then he asked the last question the question which was not guys we did this want to make a list make a list that ready megaliths as were good at God is very key question with a question what is it that you want me to do right now God is now right now needs with several hours to make a list yes the question then became angry very angry why was I so angry I was used the bitterness of my life that's what really a jeweled man guess what came immediately to my mind of God want me to do there regardless of what my dad doesn't think Kerry Dallas what is irregardless of Billy was the subject of a tell you that and that you forget and irregardless of what he does I really will want to write it down all your dad you love a install the further I got normed out of Tony's little seminar site and start walking down through the woods I don't listen to this guy why do they go to this retreat I'm not doing this is ridiculous I was tempting me double was not wanting a picture I was just self talking in a self-taught district I only used it when we look at sweet on the outside with Gerald to be sued inside what is a lot of people like that are spiritual human farmers they got the thing the ready to blow up the trade center to my right and they look so nice they get on the bus of life become to your church and somehow they blow about his is a root of bitterness was alternatively when I was like that and I was self talking myself back into everything I was headed back down the disaster and all the sudden death with it out of a job so the voices again him as the him I already sense that you are under conviction did tell me I sense are going to produce than the pay it does look man do the less I brought you here to my cabin I want you to do list is its own materials where we list and I believe you should leave me alone instead can lose man I restart and try to pay I took up through the bushes for the second time Tony comes back to me and his income definitely small trees are dying a thousand Strawberry is being forced out a way that is what I got back I looked around I said I'm not coming back Tony it's a stone people will go I decided take a long way around all the way around Lake Shellenberger because I don't want to face Tony again there been a helicopter what I got up at Durban Airport service I went out there was it accidental nonmelanoma woods I'm slogging through swamps and seater swing cedars cedar swamp and different things that I didn't see alligators with map advised all around and didn't hungry aside and get back to the law they get some food without just as I was thinking that without seeing Tony against him at their commonly unaware of how this is going where have you been how could you do after the iPhone you'll laugh at me as I don't care you need to do the last is gotten I mean everybody's this guy was a spiritual psychotic and he was present at a new life with the effort of the Afro that showing up in the TDP is everywhere I said Tony didn't have a heart attack and get drunk at me this time forgotten you and Zoe goes at I you got back was made to exhibit there would a lot of get my food and then I'll come out laws on the idea I didn't a lot brother and I see that the laundry is about sixteen miles long going on I tried to guys as we generated in the back of the library onto the back of the line by leg into the line in everything that I had gained on Tony had been long and I'm going to live and I'm going to write a lengthy maybes I get mainly limited to shower in its new look that probably smelled bad probably exercise just as I get to be in the line to terrible things happen first thing is on the other line coming other way to do realize that was my cat and we will ride him him him him are and at the same time within seconds tall in terms of the front and are amigos I done doing what he said the development and financing their normal boy and then occurred to me maybe I should do this invested overall worth reading and also assuming that the data got really talking I've been wanting to talk to for several hours on looking like death warmed over bagels of what is a son some of that I really think we should take it outside because people around here and I deducted from so can think outside we were through eating he wasn't reading it was outside standing outside is what is it's on the sedan signal honor student to talk about this to you and this really wondering why it is that you and mom painted the house that color so you took me all well lying because you want to know why we painted the house I color the city mapping to determine color it's a family house its artists as we have to live in that house for a time terrible looking likely to consult with us he looked at me like I was going crazy what was happening was able to bring myself to do is to do I said that's really and that I said look you can disrespectfully but I think this is important to look to me like I was like one six okay it goes back to develop a backend sorrow so I go back into message I said the and I wasn't limited by funny thing I am finishing my food young man expenses for the rights of God and again talk to my sedan through a perforated business but wife your mom car I was struggling hard to get root of bitterness I think and then I went back to the cabin then when they can we all asleep all the men were in this room we were all sleeping is something about man sleeping in the same cabin after food the cafeteria that they normally don't need that causes problems I'm not an environmentalist but if I was I was in trouble this was happening I guess I was snoring like a chainsaw and myself talk some coming up again in the middle the night I sent me I have got to say this I had this overwhelming sense I had a sense of just what happened I cannot I think that I got to talk to their data ha ha that was almost a possible breathing he stops all what is it son what is it you don't like the color the house you like to go note that I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I forgive you for everything you've ever done wrong to me and I just had this terrible bitterness finalized killing me I have often felt like killing you and everybody else and angry and mad and I felt that I'm supposed to say that I want to say that this I just I just I just love you Messiah reach out complete darkness all the snoring stopped in the room everybody else is quiet the reseller about filling their faith and heirs coming down and say I have begins weeping and he says I have RA I'm sorry to want to tell you posted that was the turning point in my life report in my life that Dell immediately tried to attack I can't tell you the sense that I never had self talk is again I can tell you that the devil still doesn't trying to me every time I'm home in different ways but I can tell you that the devil has not gained the victory God has rewritten my hard drive and my dad and I although will never be as close as we could have been so close it's a nice and I challenge you with something today and I tell you something why don't you pray those questions tonight is nothing sacred about them but they all are scriptural would you do that is serious about the suite of relationships would you do that would you ask I was thank what what what she had to be thankful for what it is that maybe coming between him and you you and others would you do that I need to tell me today okay if I saw in your life I try to prayer and him make the list maybe already made the list many made right here but I plead with you to do it I still didn't begin with no evening of physical prompt this prompted an miracle probably the problem the kids why not do it now consider everything your father 's death considering the humans that but you don't have to like a runnable blurb from Ann Landers and I want close out of it right after that I was going home at the self-taught eleven I was reading Ann Landers in the newspaper it was Father's Day coming up you know is set on the road as it was I give my dad for Father's Day when he's done all these things a man in relisting it off and in letters Rebecca said I wanted to just give your dad a break around then I said also I needed to your dancer today because of work it into I don't think it should never be the job although many times it is of the sun have to do what I did I think it be best to the dentist doesn't think so I think God wants to do it but then doesn't do it you give Jesus came down here and clear distortions between a father and his people and the promise of Malachi 's at the end of time to turn the hearts of the fathers of children in the hearts of the children to the fathers because he doesn't want us to be a curse I really think validity and I really think the guy wants to heal your life parents how I would suggest you only get along with your parents by asking God him bitterness in your life is doing is the way things and five thank you for these folks today are more of no one this message means to them but I know what it meant to me when I first heard on a hot stronghold and I still struggle some time I know how you given the victory will praise your name I thank you for each person here today items ask Holy Spirit you come into this room that you wouldn't convict of sin of righteousness and just think that you would bring healing that you would bring hope that you would give these young people Karen is fatherless currents in these mountains courage I thank you and I praise you become the name of the all-powerful and all loving Savior savior of the entire world Jesus Christ the righteous man and on

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