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Twelve Locked Hearts

Gerry Wagoner

Description

This presentation deals with twelve common emotional and spiritual issues that have the potential to damage our relationships.  Emotional issues must be taken to Jesus for healing, and spiritual issues must be repented of. When people apply the principles of the Bible to these issues, they can experience the freedom that God intends for their life.

Presenter

Gerry Wagoner

Biblical Counselor at One Achord

Recorded

  • October 20, 2013
    7:00 PM
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Michigan got together and this is the new beginning of a home in the embryo I was five my wife was by their age fourteen no comments about the pants please was assigned spare the eighth grade science Brianna and I wanted I was destined because the Vatican state championships and the nineteen seventy four senior tornado went through his through Ohio and utterly decimated central State University where the championships were to be held in in one afternoon I was priorities were turned around this and forget the championships for this year and probably saved me from a life of science I say that because of the heirs of Darwinism is my wife also fourteen going down the road this is Nancy and I at at our Christmas we were still dating then I was not a believer yet at this point I'm twenty one years old there I am twenty two years old there is my wife at nineteen there is our engagement there's our wedding miss my uncle Carl are between us man who is gone now that's our Huntington nineteen eighty two it's a big hit with the girls and guys know what I know what you're thinking you were going to talk about that too later on this is nineteen eighty four this was after this became a baptized member of the church of my father 's nineteen eighty four this is my wife here this is me at my black hat this is nineteen eighty eight our two sons who are now twenty nine and seven I believe should note that there they are happy young family so young son Nathan is now two meters tall which is almost six with seven heads these meters when we were over and no way within their number time sorry son Dylan letting the doctor 's my wife here in Chicago this is Nancy Nye the notice something on the phase here I look happy maybe can't see it for a while but I'm not because during that period of time in my life I wasn't the happiest kid I could've been in two thousand and three I was insulting happened in our life financing I got married we allege up ahead of the story retracted each other for various reasons we became married we brought into the relationship hidden issues that we didn't know how to result in you know they were there we probably didn't care about them it will be all right we'll get it fixed now we did well those are this was a two thousand five I believe five or six or two sons in its two thousand nine its most recent picture I have and now we want to get down what we want to talk about tonight who said this better believe it and everything he said in the Bible he met now to talk about tonight nearby here okay I can pick up if I need to start out by talking about these twelve Lockhart 's and you might be thinking that the disciples know maybe it is maybe it has been going to go through twelve different issues that have the potential to lock your heart and mine and I know what that's like I had a heart that was locked with pride a number of years ago and got in his mercy on boatmen took that away number one our heart will influence the way you and I think there's a scripture for that you all have a heart each of you doing something more than just beating tonight and being the circulatory pump for the life-giving blood in your body there's something more going on find a new special beautiful part of you your heart is the center of an individual and it's where God wants to write his law along with your mind for where your treasure is there will your heart be also Proverbs twenty three seven as a man think of it in his heart so is he what else will a hard influence will influence the way we act the Bible says a good man will bring good things out of the goods stored up and down that's why God has a desire to see young people and us middle-aged people he wants to see a store of good things in our life that way good things will come out of our life the opposite courses the bad things in your life is going to come out in-store orthography in your life it's going to come out guys is for romance novels into your hearts girls it will come out in false expectations and reality our heart will influence the way we speak those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart and they defile the man go on letters are twelve twelve Lockhart someone to go through them as quickly as I can and if I go long just this way even the back window go like this will get the message I'll try to do this as efficiently as I can tell the reason were talking about this is because each of these areas have the ability to kill something special he relationships as he got created unite for relationship first with him first with an Adam walked in talking to me and in the garden with God and then he came into the picture and as a result of that than the final element of intimacy became reality for them and that was the physical side of relationship we have ten core issues here that we want to focus on tonight that will destroy your building to have relationships with other people like me you need them you need relationships with other people there are people and God has placed in your life that he wants you to be able to appreciate the benefit they are to you if you cherish some of these issues in your life you will not be able to appreciate them tried number one bitterness rebellion abuse I had some rebellion in my life back is a teenage boy abuse abuse comes in a couple of different flavors slacken the well-stocked in the night when you mention the word abuse what you think of physical or is less yes exactly about spiritual abuse about emotional abuse those have the ability to shoot an arrow into your heart material values what is that that's that's being in love with things more than you are with God you have a desire for stuff you have a desire for relationship with God another people the enemy is behind all these by the way let's go on moral failure we all know what that looks like in this world we live in our world is saturated with sex the wrong use of you know this I know it's it it's everywhere it's an literature entertainment art advertising music it's everywhere will talk completely about that problem Wednesday night at a session devoted entirely to the window including detail tonight hypocrisy what is that I talk Chrissy is being something different on the outside than you are on the inside Jesus found not to be particularly frustrating evil for evil now that will destroy a relationship we've all seen it five -year-old kids your dumb boy you're dumber yet we are dumber than the biggest dumb dummy that's ever lived on on this ping-pong back and forth try to outdo each other and we got a chuckle at a little bit with my funny when it happens in adults and young people 's relationships passes out everything on his design for you in the issues that's the call spiritualism is a monster kids and it takes to devour you along with everything else on this page and in some cases it is trying to come into the church really is the belief in you better believe it it's cleverly disguised and it looks kind of nice but it is absolutely trying to come into the church and in some cases has a friend of mine Steve Walberg just gave a talk about Southern University on the surging church movement and spiritual formation that is available by the way on audio verse if you want to see something happening in seeing that already any of you heard of it you want to see it I hope all of you dudes really good as well the best I've seen yet he spoke straight from the heart especially the end get to the end tell me what you think of it sometime later on this week negative thought patterns and stupid I'm ugly if anybody knew what I was really like on the inside they would want me all my fault all lies from the enemy you see you young people I had a really neat point in your life right now you are you a lot look forward to a lot of loves special things in store for you as you make good choices along at pathway you going to be blessed with a lot of special things in your life lots to look forward in the course knows this and he has paved the road to adulthood with thousand potholes that's okay because we have someone greater you can steer you around those the Lord Jesus Christ let's go on another's emotional issues abuse rejection abandoned neglected these are real needs are real my wife and I operated counseling ministry out of our home we've operated for the last ten years is something we start in two thousand and three because we saw such need out there and people 's lives in God after we resolved our own issues fifteen years ago God gave us a heart for people and when we were around people who were hurting people who were struggling and we would hurt with them is that we've got to do something to help and so we said two words to God back in two thousand three reset unavailable and scary music siding to within a years time we are adding sixteen hundred feet on their home in order to have room to minister to people who come stay with us that a pastor and his wife coming from the Florida next month and we deal with some of these issues and views the Bible almost exclusively in this process now let's talk about some of the ways that people avoid resolving their problems I was one of after a while back when I was young we have something in the Anabaptist movement this kind of understood you go out to sow your wild oats get it out of your system and then you come back and join the church grow a beard mustache mind you and get your black hat and everything is going to be okay well doesn't always work that way some guys don't come back if they do they come with scars that destroy their effectiveness for God anyhow projection it's their fault I'm this way this is the number one why people avoid result yes I'm angry but if it's because of if you knew but they did me view of the aggregate of you knew it was maybe so and so they hang on to this anger they have a right that the note they talk in their shirt pocket now I'm upset directly through denial I don't have a problem at a couple of wife dragged her husband to meet ten years ago and they came in and sat down there now this heard in this chair him in this fairness is the life you want to come see me using she made me so she made you write there is little red flag goes up leadership imbalance in the homes that make sense like a little kid twisting his aerator Jerry Sissel will be like an focus on this week sir is that nothing will fix her problems she will become the light of life results in things needn't have a problem until Thursday this was Monday on Thursday elected me with tears in his eyes the spirit of God a broken through he's had some problems and I know he said I need some help to do it put denial looks like on the other side of that we got to see what humility looks like rationalize everyone else is doing I'm working with a couple right now adultery case of the throw as hard cases that's not the third hardest case you can counsel 's adultery and I told the man and woman of honestly I said you're not living your life the way God intended while doing everything everyone else is doing really what's the standard private I say I love my wife I bought her a house and a Lexus SUV lover for MPs each of them have the husband so what do you feel loved by me to respect no would you like that yes three obstacles and defeating Satan are one understanding these generational sends generational sense what is that inherited or cultivated tendencies under the illustration of a mother who's a better individual but she may have had some things to deal with in life that she never dealt with proper what you go through life angry with the reverse form of pride she has this intense self focus because of her bitterness and she begins the defiled people around her and doesn't know the closest people to her are her children her husband if she has one at this point we might have a father who is in pornography many doesn't resolve it very thinks he doesn't keep coming back they will pass that tendency on to you as a child that tendency and not the sin hear me on this and you will find that encapsulated very neatly into the ten Commandments were talks about the sins of the fathers being visited to the children unto the third and fourth generation electric than you think how can I get out of this we turn over to Ezekiel eighteen where it says the son shall not bear the iniquity of the father and then we remember that back in Exodus twentieth qualifies and says unto them which hate me if you love God and keep his commandments you have a mighty force on your side let's go on generational sin these are tendencies that you and I brought into this world and I'm here to tell you tonight God can take those tendencies touched them and turn them into something useful something beautiful whatever you're struggling with it you're not struggling with anything but deep down in the honesty of your own heart if there's something in there that God has touched you a couple of times in the past and you know you on a face and resolve it God can turn that into something beautiful school on strongholds once a stronghold of stronghold is where the enemy has you so tied up you can get free strongholds the pattern of something that you have fallen into for a long long time and you can't get out of new carbon neuron pathway across the landscape of your brain that can be changed at can be changed that's good new blind spots in couple piece of paper messages write down all your blind spots make a mess on something I can't see if you're right that's my point blank spots are areas where were struggling and we don't know letter we have convinced ourselves that were okay got a breakthrough that will move some of the ways that he breaks through that is to touch our heart with a moment of truth a kernel of truth in your testimony or something from someone all of a sudden a breakthrough here's the question why can't a person demonstrates empathy with it what is what's another word for sympathy anybody what's another word for compassion I thought her personnel and exactly were created with the ability to give and receive love that's the beautiful thing about being made in God 's image are created with the ability to give and receive love I don't care who you are where you I don't care who your parents are God has given you something unique he has given each of you the ability to give and receive love of enemy knows that he wants to block it number one is give love here's the Bible text for it Jesus answered and said the Lord your God is one to mine you shall love the Lord God with all your heart with all your soul of all your mind our strength seconds this shall love your neighbor as yourself your created with the ability to give love you and I are special thing if you're not doing that if UT do it if you're just bound up inside you wish you could you can't you're going to feel frustrated inside there's good news for you God 's design is to receive love to give and receive it if you can't receive love it's because you've been hurt and you're not willing to trust someone I don't trust people anymore if I open my heart up and let them love me get hurt again to play a safe time to lock it up in the coffin of my own selfishness Lucius loose with one second Corinthians six eleven our mouth is spoken freely to you he and I love this passage of Paul when himself after he had to write a necessary and strong letter to the church at Corinth he says my heart is open to other words I still love you make room for us in your hearts he pleads with them in Corinth there are three types of relationships number one is an endurance for your not having any fun in your stuck at the second or third couple whatever counsel came from Norway near Oslo long ways away their background two thousand two thousand three I put a lot of pressure on myself lately I was just a big counselor here they come six thousand miles this had really better work that didn't take long to get over that okay Lord is your business and I need step out of it and I did something happened in a relationship but they were stuck in into a relationship they couldn't stand each other but they were committed to staying together they married twenty five years and five counselors Europe costly five there still sells stock still walked against each other they came all the way to affect low Ohio farming community we sat there my office on Monday morning and I said would you be willing to turn face each other now now I guess they turn favors would you be willing to hold hands and the wife turned and shouted at me and Norwegian I know what you think probably good thing so that's okay I tell her authority to do she was willing touching my knew right away that something more on was it just got a bring into serviceable we didn't set I'm not the type you might help as the result of pride and yet wanted me back and I let him through pride on Tuesday for about three hours help him resolve it didn't work them back on Wednesday putting on a day-to-day same thing did yesterday this time at work got out of his chair and walked over to his wife needs to download me on his knees he looked up and said hi I'm really sorry under related damage with my pride for twenty five years and said with tears and she looked at him as hard in school as a woman can look got created a woman to look differently than that you'll find that in first Peter given you young ladies it's beautiful countenance and a capacity for expressing femininity she didn't have it at that point she had a lot of bitterness in her life so I hope to resolve that down Thursday she does like a different person sitting across the desk I mentioned like a little girl I couldn't believe the same person again the nearest tall blond haired angry hard looking individually click I couldn't believe it they went for walk down through the woods down by the creek hand-in-hand at significant life maybe one touch on Monday are you kidding I want to touch this guy take down the barriers and that actual desire to give and receive love takes over and got has taken these two hearts and put them together into one with the divine welding rod and all of a sudden he became desperately lonely for one they went home back to normal in fact Oslo year later we got a call about here wonders what happened to us you can come over here since we did second type of relationship as an escape relationship we just want to write you want to get away you feel trapped and so you have your guy he'll marry your work area Mary something else your woman you marry your children God never intended it's an escape relationship you young people your things doesn't like Spiderman not married and you're right it doesn't yet but the principle applies what is there that you're running from a life of relationships are you trying to avoid let's go on the third kind is one that I'd like you to listen all of you medicine enjoy a relationship or you can enjoy the blessing of friends the blessing of your spouse if you're married can I invite you to invite you to move that the third category wherever you are your life tonight it's available there's a lot of joy there qualities that husbands or men young men got to get a great group of young people here excited to be with you in this video some qualities that young men should demonstrate husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his own wife loves sell for no man ever yet all men are all males should qualify that say were all males is a little bit of it differently being a man being a mail your mail by default be a man is to live by the principles of God came with her qualities of life and women should demonstrate also found in Ephesians five let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband Flockhart 's number one cannot give love okay you can't give love and I have ways I test people one and if they can't love and make a note there come back and check find out why why can't you with what's happened to your life number two you can't receive it you can't receive any dog you don't trust people you've been hurt maybe before Siena hold individuals at arms length work on Doctor Marmor just briefly about what secrets do to your life presentation will be called came from within goes into this and little bit greater detail much like a good ten or fifteen minutes for now that's the worst of all the double Lockhart that is you can't give or receive love marriage is stuck in your island your miserable living on yourself and your filling your life with all kinds of distractions music sex drugs alcohol whatever it might be too drowned out the pain as I travel around and then meeting with all kinds of people all around the country in some cases around the world and I love the Adventist church I love the people in the Adventist church and as I go all around and meet and interact with Adventist I find that many Adventist have two tendencies that doesn't mean that you have these but there are some patterns and you'll discover there's patterns in the Amish church and there's patterns in the Catholic and Baptist church and counseled with all kinds of individuals and one of the patterns in the Adventist church is written to be a fairly intellectual people nothing wrong with that God doesn't bypass our brains in this beautiful planet salvation now let us right but there's more to it than that if that's all you have in your only half a person I find that many Adventist or what we call an election we locked I am a Methodist and I was intellectually locked so I can say this with no compunction no condemnation not everybody don't get me wrong but there is a tendency here I also have found that as I travel around and speak at Adventist churches that almost ninety percent of administered never truly forgiven people who've wronged them from their heart done intellectual exercise going back to the intellectual tendency that almost ninety percent of Adventists have never actually forgiven people from their heart is a more sure how to do a remake like me maybe you heard a sermon to reread a book on forgiveness he's I forgive everyone that's ever around me and we got to do an intellectual exercise nothing changes and you go home just little bit worse than there's a better way will talk about later on this week as we go through these twelve Lockhart 's number one is hostile Lockhart is an angry person do you know anyone that's angry you don't have to raise your hand I do have you ever been angry I have I've been very frustrated at times and part of me knew that I shouldn't be you know what that feels like to his role in this together what were talking about here is something worth talking about a heart that is continually given over to wrath it is a quality of the enemy never to a defiant Flockhart another word for investments within our rebellion yell if you as a young person have a rebellious heart there is a ninety nine percent likelihood that you will move into moral failure when he mean by that Mister Waggoner on talking about immorality ninety nine for idea absolutely ninety I can show you why to I can sit down drove halfway out of a piece of paper in your mouth will follow Camille said never thought of it like that you see young people if if you have an inheritor cultivated tendency of rebellion in your life like I did one time let me just warn you lovingly and gently resolve at Ascot for a way to resolve that to break that defiant heart and come to him and submission otherwise you're destined for moral failure and depression will follow that the holistic consequences I could give you all kinds of stories on one young girl who died of homebuilders time to go into the neglected Lockhart if you been neglected as a young person appear if your needs weren't mad to see most of the pain that you and I have experienced in life comes from when we got something we shouldn't have gotten like abuse were one nurse offing along these lines or on the other side of the coin something we should've gotten the didn't think I created a family to provide this kind of blessings in your life he simply didn't get there from my family lives I've seen all kinds of stories like that my family wasn't perfect either but you have a heavenly father who steps into the picture in Psalms twenty seven ten says if your father and mother forsake you by the Lord will take you up and take you up means embrace you and hold you close we have a wonderful loving heavenly father who understands these things and sent Jesus with the key to unlock the pain of these cards to find a link for that school on self focus Lockhart a self focus Lockhart is always focused on themselves and they never get their needs met because they're so focused on themselves they can actually give and receive love I rejected Lockhart rejected Lockhart by the way while also movement of moral failure of seventy percent of the times of the one percent of the time funny how that works I began to discover that love the men came in my office is struggled with pornography or moral failure also had a very high rejection score on the Taylor Johnson test the fire broke through the message of the link here some sort sure enough found out why rejection makes you feel bad need to do something artificial to try to make you feel good as a stimulant and then you feel worse moreover Lockhart and by the way young people if you stepped over the line in this area not here to condemn your make you look better feel that not I want you to know that there is hope for that there is a way to clean that up and result in then you can go on and peace and freedom you absolutely can't get a new sheet of paper intellectual Lockhart we talked about that already mature person pulls the switch and they shut off their emotions and so they start living up here in the intellect and fine you can get along for little bit on the intellect you can be a forty one -year-old adult and a good job on intellect alone but you can be awfully cruel people have a hard awfully part of you is missing and God wants to put his law where two places on the head on the heart and both of them need to be functioning in a way that he intended the structure of an intellectually Lockhart I therefore causes for this emotionally detached parents parents not able to love severe pain can sometimes cause this personal poll switch of them on a live down there anymore is going to ignore and Lynn appear training engineer Doctor military coach sometimes that training can cause a person to be intellectually locking it so over developed in the intellect that they may neglect this part to the point where it begins to die to try to live and relate to life with everything from up here that says my son my daughter give me nine heart needs to be something there to give as we try to wrap it up here number eight is a defiled Lockhart this is one thing that I absolutely hate about the enemy I did test them anyway but I hate what he does hear young people the young child or young person has been abused as a sexually and sunlight as soon as that happened Simpsons the shock wears off the enemy will come in with three wise men before into the heart of a child this is all your fault anyone notice about you they would want to all manner creeps I've heard that statements repeatedly are not true they are lives based upon the enemy and for every line that the enemy has implanted into some young person 's life there are five truths in the word of God Rankin every time I'm worthless your block with pride this is true but we all need God is the great heavenly counselor I'm not really a counselor is I get us to guide a business in the room see God do something people 's lives he is a great heavenly counselor in this counselor the need for Don Lockhart dominants pride often manifests itself in wanting to control other people you have to be dominant now the measure of dominance is needed for healthy life this way we make decisions people have any gum if you have a husband wife and I visited the radar gun I can take a decision the measure dominance is needed for healthy life but not too much Heathrow game toss and a generous amount of anger with endowments what you have enough you got a loaded gun on the ground hurting people which are known which are loved to be dominant pride will damage another person if I try to control you my friend that is wrong of me because the ones drove up to us and if I'm trying to control you I'm stepping between you and him damages someone at the price is a dreadlocked heart husband married to his job all I can get enough of it on the way out here today when the call from Ohio very successful businessman advertises on the radio throughout Dayton throughout Miami Valley in Ohio you may call me said my wife and I been struggling for number of years we like to know if we can come sit down and talk these the marriages job for twenty years I have one question for him when he sits down in the office and when Haskins kindly and as forthrightly as I can save your job love you dagger capital heart of the successful businessman is gone before submit known he's only stuck there because what he really wants notes his wife is not available I see some good things and their future the driven Lockhart nobleman was driven to clean her house clean house clean clean I know some other wants to like that even today just have to clean the house don't even wear shoes in my house is your house and use him apparently and somehow become more than people she resolved your bitterness as she watched her mother try to commit suicide or shoot and pulled the gun out of her hand is a young nine -year-old girl damage at dinner having to watch a stock is a really neat they bounce back pretty quick to think they are also vulnerable to things like this that the drop seeds in the heart of a young child which if they're not resolve bloom later and for her to wait a mass that was the clean she was driven to clean it have to be spotless and there was one's back on the wall she was upset her day was ruined you better watch out she resolved her better to have the stupid grin on my face last twenty four hours what to do with it cleaning go have fun Brooklyn Park speakers who do something that will get a four wheeler with her husband who makes a multiplier some forget this stupid grin on my face and what to do with it it's a good problem to have a spiritually Lockhart what is not mean-spirited Lockhart Nvidia the second hardest thing the councils when a young person 's been abused by a member of the clergy pastor because that person stands in the place of God for that young child and part of the healing process is a need to pray you can fly so hard and takes longer but it can be done in Duncan breakthrough that night on wondering what the first harvest song title when we spiritually Lockhart is where you have given ground to the enemy at some point in your life you played around with the enemy music down to get something from this number gets in power back from him I'm going give up part of my life and you ended up with a spiritually locked car I can break that the part of Jesus Christ and breakthrough that my friends at judgment all critical locked hard all I all I can do is criticize others around me something we have to watch this okay to stand up and be honest in the church of the were struggling in these certain areas it's okay to be honest like the Boisvert was down at Southern the time is coming and coming rapidly when you don't have to be honest with my friends if you're called upon to speak the truth do it in love do it in love that's biblical Bible says truth is very important also says it needs to be spoken in love you divorce truth from loving you become a very hard hurting person you'll damage people around you speak it yes but speak it and live pieces had tears in his voice when he spoke Matthew twenty three NASA got appears that I need this week I could stand up here and say you young people are wretched and poor miserable blind and naked the Bible I could say it was gravel my voice and I be back on the road for home by the next evening no our challenge this week is to allow God who lets people to come in and do something miraculous inner life and give us the ability not only to love each other with love him supremely there's only one solution for these Lockhart Jesus Christ he has the key for it I am amazed how accurate the Bible is to provide answers to everything you and I struggle with I am amazed I'm also amazed that house and finds and destroys a person I'm amazed at how repentance and cleansing frees a person 's abasing people 's struggle with anything I had a dime limo which I'll share with you one of these days back in two thousand eight was tough at the time the answer on the Bible God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and sound mind second Timothy ones unimaginably concludes her talk this evening and what I've tried to do tonight my friends is just lays the groundwork we got some of the presentations for you throughout the week we got out of the miserable percent guaranteed by the way works every time for your money back I have one thought after the logical Sodom is going to focus on a specific kind of sin is rising in our culture and rising much quicker than you realize and it's coming down the pike with all the authority of the state behind it make a very very interesting future for you and I that's all right God is with us will be called upon to stand up against we need to know how to resist it and reach out to people who were involved in it another presentation rehab is on morality and purity will focus on that little bit more and I got all kinds of things we can share some of you have an area that's particular interest to you feel free to mention it to Nancy arrived or player with good more kinds of things we can talk about but I'm I'm asking God each night to show me what would be most useful for you as I want you all of you to feel love over here this week I want you to feel safe here more than that I want to somehow motivate you to take a good honest look within say Lord what is there in my life she would like to would like to that's our presentation for this evening which closed with prayer our father in heaven we thank you tonight for the wonderful truth of Jesus we thank you for pulling the curtain back in Scripture on the the thank you for not casting us off humans down here on this lonely rebellious plan we thank you that Jesus stepped off the throne of divinity and he came here to be one of us to touch us and to heal the brokenhearted says in Luke four to proclaim liberty to the father whatever captivity that encircles us tonight we like to just give that to you and ask if you would help us realize it to surrender it to accept freedom that you brought from heaven bless all these young people and adults alike give them a good night sleep protect them and bring them back safely tomorrow we can focus without hindrance we ask it in the mighty name of Jesus and this media was brought by osteoporosis a website dedicated to spreading God 's word through reading sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about our universe the more certain it is www. audio person or

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