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Accountability, Boundaries, & Consequences

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father we want to thank you so much for the blessings that have been the source of arson so far during these meetings and through the Fellowship that we have enjoyed and now father we have come to you here to be blessed again we would ask that your Holy Spirit will be here with us that you will speak to each one of us through Tommy lying as they share with us this this morning and father we pray that your Holy Spirit will speak to each one of our hearts so that we might receive a special blessing you have in store for each one of us and we thank you so much for hearing and answering our prayers Jesus name amen wow I want to allow him to be wonderful authentication now we we enjoy a happy holiday half by accident of the ad doesn't always feel sunshine in but you know we don't have to be governed by our feeling newly and why are most in life circumstances and when we choose to smile smile mile the amazing thing is because the call go away they will by the grace of God well that was very fitting with a message and we want to share in the ABCs of what you see children how many of you know your ABCs all right what's the first letter of the office and the satellite and the third one okay now escalate hair thing is there are some very big him thing work on the ABC is an organization today if you can guess what the ABCs of parenting when we talk about whether it was whose I let you know how to find out what we see the letter a recreation in parenting the waiting was I a fan for all to you humbling that that that that was a very bad very good to the children know all of our attitudes right but that commonly pay left and then when you can generally be seen this relativistic biathlon but what's another name that is finally born in inherent in raising our children but with a represent layout is very very wanted in and not informative when we pick our lot with tea that you can get any better than that right now is that the foundation volunteer joy and happiness to think that anything in life including parenting when we walk with Jesus we parent in Jesus Christ then with your heart of hearts is the seriousness message is taken from our the ABCs are not a lot anybody out anyone more opportunity already very good that I be right in your mind they are only handles right now okay you you have your know she's right about building a telegram actually very good to write him where the letter is another see AAC what are you telling me that one we were looking for accountability I think I will think of her strike and incorporate that walk with God accountability to God and your mobility hearing our children have accountability we need to train and gymnast person gone second compared and accountability to their elders to others saw not be a finalist for that final piercing and we actually have another message in a series of talks about that whole mess is possible that there's not vital to go into behavior boundaries I heard somebody that boundaries found my own raises the Lord were looking for here accountability boundaries and no boundaries are the boundaries that God has established right in law in principle I know the boundaries and is not now not according to the movie did Ironman I had my child but according to principle at all times and were specifically going to be looking at two very clear boundaries that the logon discussed in the fifth commandment honor thy father and mother the boundary and I'll be in the boundary of respect and barely find that all the other training of our children oftentimes is built on the foundation of will raise accountability is a a barmy sympathy and now can you figure out what he can for area is very good to me as a product or I the director very following if that's what we need to help it that character therefore all that's good to the right is not in the consistency is one most people don't really like to talk about it I said it will all enthusiastic Israeli really talk about the eighty concrete when it is appropriate to the infractions are consequences that are appropriate to the disobedient disrespect or what her is a challenge that we face his parents well you know we always try in our home as parents these things that we talk about her all the things that we ship is what we share with you that's just the stuff we live in our home or were experiencing at home forward to sharing with you we try always to have a reasonable basis what we believe in the basis needs to come in the word of God so we were looking at these principles in our own home we looked for God basis for these principles we found right in the first book of the Bible right the very beginning of mankind in fact we found that there is the creation of the first man the illustration of how God our heavenly father how he deals with the ABCs of his parenting of his children that you have your Bibles and likely terminal Steve Jackson's second chapter and were going to look in verse sixteen Genesis two sixteen and the Lord God commanded the man saying and eventually in the garden Donny managed really needs but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil thou shall not eat of it out of there soon present at this point we thank Elvis is a perfect man perfect God perfect environment and how God is saying now selling on eBay what is not doing nearly well any case establishing the agencies that are very clear inappropriately with a perfect family he created by his own hand and by his own breath he has established very clear boundaries that will interview two demonstrate obedience spent not want to switch over to Genesis chapter and verse seven was the time to read the entire story in every detail because we have in our home and our ho-hum job here is our hope that we will pattern of parenting after God 's principles we will have the best opportunity for success in Christian parenting I want to give over and out of the Genesis three verse seven and they hadn't even heard the voice of the Lord walking in the I will day and go down the person I have no more God called unto Adam seven p.m. where are and then in verse eleven who told the Dallas naked hast thou eaten of the tree out listen to God and put this in your hair and then followed mothers listen to how God handles this what you got your add anymore who holds the was naked video told him half eaten of the tree video what was God doing here what is God doing here in the ABCs is called accountability is that he he's calling for a man to come forward and to be accountable for their choices for their decisions for their action that work again conflict with his established boundary without many times and the reason I emphasize this as I read these horses of the account many times what we do is there and I thing we do is there because I just as guilty and had been just as guilty as any of you we go into the situation I thought you did know why you do that before we let them answer we say to you soon when I'm giving the young person the opportunity to be accountable where taking the accountability God willing we what they did perfectly knew what and then we always know who we think we know sometimes we surmise improperly what our children done it's better to go in July children say where are you would be done who told you you were naked yell we need to go through this process and let them to draw them out and to make them accountable before we jump to conclusions now look at verse twelve interesting how things happening here and that the mounting frame and charisma he's been asked three questions and now I respond back noticeably faster than what the hula then again though will nowadays say whom thou do that back there whom thou Davis could be with me she gave me up at three and the government have never heard anything similar to that in your home maybe not exact words but what do you normally it's going calling for accountability and she's ready to respond she had formulated in our issued an exemption at all of us have been tempted and have fallen into putting the lines were there and you all and father did and Josiah said have an she committed herself price to five hundred five hundred West and ourselves that we directly know that there's an implied message here but I know even just a need to realize that all the things we see in our all nurses who were not dealing with herself things that they see happening and how they see us interacting together how they see us taking responsibility do they see us making excuses do they hear us saying I'm sorry but if you had said that I wouldn't have reacted this way what are we teaching our children are we showing them the way within the boundaries of the law God or are we doing the same thing we see happening down I noticed that at the call to make an unaccountable it's because I was the man that God is first gone was the leader in meeting the leader and leader of his home you know that he was not even creating when family boundary for Adam zero the boundary that was later Adam about the tree was laid before he was even created Adam conveying the boundary to EU delay his family if you well he met his wife in that situation but was made accountable not want you to notice what happened in verses fourteen to twenty four and I can read almost versus the second time the story is there the first consequence that took place was given to who the cervix now that you know something very interesting Adam was the last one to fall in the sequence the serpent was the first one to get the consequences because the serpent was the one who began the process of sin that's where the consequences began a servant now the circle was first to be on his belly one with that the one who participated next in being deceived by the service the woman now given the sorrow and pain in childbearing and she must now I'm now on she must be subject for husband must rule over her then the man is next the ground is cursed for his sake for the missiles will be coming out on the plans and he must labor are now in select to get what he gets from the land and in the final consequence of course is that they are all the while both of them and of course the belt included but after you are driven from the garden and a source placed at the entrance they do not ask back to an eat of the tree of life attachments so it is a loving and our father which art in heaven you know this is a loving father in heaven what he had just come in the cool of the evening instead would feel bad that you did this but no I said that the consequences this can let go this time is so important to us is almost blasphemous I just thankful that God our father didn't take that position he couldn't Islam Islam embodies the law embodies love if he would've taken that position couldn't take that position but do we take that position friends do we often take that position if my food is such that we don't feel like dealing with it are the well will I go this time and what are we teaching our young people were teaching them that they don't have to be accountable were we living a lie you will still not surely die I told you usually got the house shall not surely die to our young people you can get away your economy with us you have to be accountable to God the boundaries are moved the ball it doesn't matter whether you squeeze no boundaries here and there it will be consequences you know brothers and sisters the tragedy is that we live out that kind of life for our children if we take away those boundaries we will experience our children will experience the very thing that utilize voice experience God were those boys are what got the lifetime and he would not do anything but you can improve finally got to take into his own hands and you know some people think today that God is the God of mercy got a real test was a God of justice we got a new justness mercy now the God of the Old Testament is the daughter-in-law where justice and mercy next we got a new test in the same God in our children and we as parents must not get the idea that a lot of the devils also will not surely die is what we believe somehow doubt as to the hill to save us all matter what we do all of us will reap the consequences of eating the forbidden fruit eventually we do not surrender ourselves to God this is what we need to be teaching and training in precept and example to our young people as we started to explore him repeatedly bringing down home because we want and we recognize that we want our children to be ready for the kingdom of God we want them to being in for African and you and I can even happen that because everything has a beginning and an ending that were custom to everything I let him have been the way God designed it can be here in this world on this earth was that we would be created in the forever and ever and ever never never having hands will adapt our children our children motivated us in our Christian experience to start seriously considering that the word of God and bringing him into a personal relationship in our lives because we recognize that we weren't going that direction were really trained our children as we began flipping through search the word of God for these principles that are very clearly defined and illustrated very practically a very familiar story simply passed over for years we began to recognize that we as parents have unintentionally sometimes not even knowingly then bury me to undermine these principles of accountability boundaries and consequences we are to make excuses for our children when they even go right and please let me illustrate some of the ones that we've experienced in the other families have experienced in their home Isaiah intimacy in the sun percentile the sensor like this you greet them with a time happy reading and they go I there are what is my birthday what are you this is really happened I find herself in our own now I personally would hardly alone in an weekly and other hall and that is what happened I remember one situation we we heard this on but the mother know about this not what I will always will tell you screaming at the Seinfeld there is such a thing as a inspirations of the very beautiful that shy reserved child is that way you have a situation which I found were talking about is the one doesn't feel like being accountable and thought what I want to talk to understand the difference and we can harness parents make excuses for these of interest shy no would you send will or think impudent or things discovered strong will totally disobedient and it is that he drove in most cases it's not assigned reserved child subcontinent show up in our own home life deal honestly with these things and let's not let our children remember the first accountability is the God secondly his parents thirdly is to speak respectfully we set in our home our children when they are old enough to speak on being old enough to give rear Sir now in a clear answer when are spoken to in the life and love somebody in the eye and we as their parents if we are only valid in that situation they should trust us enough as their parents that it's okay speak respectfully to a person speaks of them even a total stranger on stranger is the expectation that you know and it's very rare today and we happily race to shy children at the beginning of our family they were also quite happening quite loud and boisterous and controlling when they wanted to be shiny and only came if somebody even if they were asked to do something or talk to someone and they didn't feel like it and mother have now quite thinly became the recognized that when there's actually here and are shy and these are not younger not saying that this isn't though together with what we said we were studying but we're beginning to understand from the word of God so they begin to change and we started very simply talking about trusting if I am with you in the store and comes in speaking you don't need to hide behind nuclear and say hello I'm dare not let anyone hurt you so they can trust us were present since they are and making Vietnam that clear boundary that created the boundary of obedience and respect to us as a first as well as to God that I knew were standing within the place of God that's who our children learn who God is is by our example when they're very young until they come to know him personally so we are starting to drink at the boundary of obedience and respect if you speak to my child they can answer you in the best of their ability their real ability and I will thought that moment that abilities based on what we know they can do when they are not placed in that situation it may cost there will so we need in our home to talk about being respectful and obedient not to follow through if not exactly say hello are green the person we role-play that so back when they were back in the situation better with a church weather and ran it interesting that a shy child isn't just to a stranger it can be to around ten a grandparent then I can even go back to use as a form of undermining your mind that building of obedience and respect those boundaries so we role-played it they were going out to the supermodel start and some energy and FAQ and sleep old people really are attractive to small children they can don't you know it just makes their day when a young child can smile at them they will and response me questions like starring their day reading the sunlight today neither lonely and olden needed to feel very useful and little child had built a beautiful way of reaching into the heart of older people and so we would do this in our home how you going to respond and we would practice it and then we found ourselves environment I would hold our children comfortable for what they knew to the right honor thy father and mother obedience and respect for their parents into that other person you know why we live in such a nation today is to be a Christian nation but we live in a nation that is fearful of their own children we have not understood accountability respect and ability boundaries and consequences and so even when just like a long he started much younger remember we were in the store and a hardware store owner gentleman who worked in the starting again he just mounted in a basket in a middle seat and benefits is pretty small probably thirteen fourteen consult and to a music I say he whatever the word is now the person calling on the link to sign up to well juicy and meaningful change he steadfastly was totally shocked as a child even talk to him this usually is used a child falling apart screaming I need bargaining a very disrespectful luckily there and turning away and the mother says my child shy so God can help to change our home and we can change the whole fabric of society by one family and we can turn the disrespect and fear defend this nation and making how to be both for the Lord Jesus to show proper respect your elders and to authority somebody said that he was authority we need to respect the authority in our country respectively authority that fair and honorable as Christian as representative of Jesus Christ 's world and with that a lot of young people who sometimes a hassle talk to feel like their children just don't have it all wrong what you are doing much of know we have found that in many cases it is because have you reasonable expectations for probability we have given clear boundaries that are understandable we had thought about the principles that we want to live by her home and how we want our young people to grow in those principles and when we encourage as we have our own home parents to take on those kinds of biblical simple principle were talking today basically about accountability boundaries and consequences as regards of deviance honoring and respecting parents and not in others young people want to do what's right amen they are they want to do what's right they need our guidance as parents to help them know what is right this is the way what do they need is to show them the way this is the way that Michelle and the way let me tell you what let me breasts practically the way they live the way young people want to walk in that way we met little children and teenagers ready to leave the absolute rebellion or both ends of that spectrum we have seen the young people in our own personal experience see no young people in our home who had turned to the Lord turned their parents when Americans are willing to turn the Lord for their say children don't want to just be left to themselves confusion breeds rebellion we don't have clear boundaries and breeds frustration I don't want to handle it the next day I'm a good listener this one day when you listen to it we need clear boundaries that are based on the principles of God 's word they will live within those happily to describe another very in each case that many parents make we've also use this for any and all from any case from any clear up into maybe even a school age child even twelve fourteen years old with her parents say this about a young person you cannot do something images they is very clear and you have a stranger there you can write your own home to his mother with child enormity of the present it in a new something something like an innocent one so they won't be obedient I think if you look at you I listen and respond to you maybe it's something in the dinner table and they just won't enable dentists to try and what you are looking a lot like reasonable as is your way teaching them to like you teach them to obey and so when we say sometimes parents the classic winner child disobeying all he's just a nurse and he just tired I'm tired sometimes you know what the hell is our behavior all are fleshly nature with that same escape on tired manual right that's why Sally because I'm tired and that that justifies the action sin stubborn heart so that Ms. Lewinsky is actually read through and adulthood lot I'm just tired and so we need to his wishes you only got to bed really late fling no overtime she means why she's not writing that she normally would at home these are all painfully sad of a person but we are excusing wrong behavior where you are just trying to Oregon and how for that boundary of obedience and respect the same as when practical ways of God excuse entire child syndrome well let's take away needs to one of the best way to take away the excuse for the entire family syndrome is against some regularity in the dinghy you know one of the hardest things for people to become subject to his regularity regularity of the people asked us all over and over yes this week from all over we told you some of the schedule that we have this incredible God 's grace is sufficient one of the things we've learned is that the first thing we need to do with black hair Romania the first thing we do is get on the Romanian schedule and the engine we get there and it's seven thirty in the morning and five percent a.m. I want to go to sleep we don't go to sleep we get on a schedule legal prologue we drink lots of water we can actively involved in a project and we we make ourselves stay until at least six o'clock that night and then we write should there are three much on track go forward with the meetings we get a meal schedule and we spin on it you know people say while I was digging every group once you get back to McKinney like this it was Monday morning were back on schedule we do or that we might not get and this is our hostess wouldn't dry the skin we laugh in New York we get two thirty in the morning New York timely arrival but we can all are the same New Jersey now back on track Monday morning it will is his grace sufficient for one of the best things we can do for our homes our young people and teach them how to have regularity even when it's not always the same regularity you know people couldn't understand how our children to homeschool we homeschooled all the way through high school traveling with the schedule we had is because our expectations and our boundaries did not give them the excuse not to do there homeschool they get in the car they get on airplanes they did it where ever they were visiting someone's home because that was the expectation if you ask our children think popular the because the only thing to sports because it developed them down the ability to stay with it and back tiredness means that they need to get the better regular time in the evening it is all you have to schedule that we can you can you have an irregularity for nice in your future is if you surrender to the Lord if you make your priority and then we can begin to eliminate some of the excuses I remember him and our home not only had our children act from time to time early on heard me say tired and very quick to pick up on that I remember one day our son is doing less than he really was very fond and he came to me there I'm so tired why was he sold the team to immunizing at what is legal in Boston are well formulated I think one of the children had an attitude was too tired Shelley had twenty five has and so I said are you really tired of my lifetime okay Google haven't needed patient that was the consequence that wasn't related to directly in proportion to the right or the situation with a day in our go through this huge ordeal simply said that the rest of Latin America after a short period of time and the school the boundary was clear he was accountable to get his homework that he was accountable for what he said and you know we have those clear accountabilities and most clear boundaries and were not afraid to offer proper consequences to violation of those boundaries only five in our children learn to be honest much easier and not so subject to be tempted to say at all in order to try to skirt something about my so we are actually working in meeting many levels of character development or the agency and I can say that when our children are tired the style was one that didn't even rest at different times in his life I mean we can interest me we communicate me in his leg had an closely new house when he was physically worn-out half-asleep without making a commotion they could lay on the floor in the church in Atlanta it falsely on the airplane even as it opens up down to get back up and be refreshed so there is some legitimate tiredness but teach our young people how to manage that when programming for Mary J Butler is that as an excuse for excuses and was very simple things here that are very general to have principles that were talking about and you can apply as best not feeling the child while trying to emphasize here is removing accountability often unconsciously excusing things in our children which is setting the tone for deeper seated problems in life is feeling good childhood easily provoked the movie that your old man I sure you doesn't take much to set them off we make excuses for this child Julie I actually heard nonferrous use this child just now feeling that our army I'm not going to like eighteen or nineteen or twenty years old policy he's got a headache terrible day at work and he will have a job in a home to mother still excusing his behavior is his intolerant inpatient his moodiness is disrespecting her she's just a skinny lifetime he has had a rough day at work today and when you get a little bit of space we are using our children from those boundaries they got established not that those boundaries of obedience and respect all the other things that are incorporated in that man honoring my father my mother all the other things Incorporated and that Bob God from respected accountability to God all the way down to fellow we cannot afford to be excusing our young people are you all by saying they had that they were part I will never have a little temperamental that had an okay any real in the near fêted are sure our cropland if they had a headache so I have an excuse to have his behavior I is we don't deal with these things on screen in ourselves because I have to tell you what you and my son people know this many of the things that were talking about today I didn't have dealt with in the when I was very so what happens so I draw the same problems that I'm dealing with in my five -year-old and -year-old -year-old Michael -year-old if we are willing to let God deal with us where we are we will be with you and our young people as they grow up for what we don't in this accountability if we do not help our young people to be in they will not be accountable to God they will not become they will not be useful citizens in their wider sphere ones youngest relevant as when you see the things in major young people learning where were very thankful as we were thinking society with Lynn last night the next with us let me know if you were very thrilled with the amazing work is focusing on things that don't work okay we're very thankful to see the areas of work and to see the progress that our son is made as program Muslims will not accept the thrills my soul it is relevant to the chief flight instructor and find out how well he's doing in his employment side working in the dispatch with people but all things if we don't deal with these areas of accountability and boundaries and him will have to deal with them later or in my case as a man because I wasn't down when somebody's areas when I was young on entity when the Metheny but can you let us absolutely so we need to stop making excuses for the shot tired child I don't feel good child and we need to start saying what caused the mess when you only fear in my cause and we work together in this must deal with the cause-and-effect and get to the root of it and later the act and our home we believe as the Scriptures teach that there is no excuse for and until we really put that in her heart we will continue making music but if we believe there is no excuse firsthand management strips away all of our excuses all of our justification on our rationalization and puts his faith in a with what God boundaries are and got the accountability we have before God and also maybe those consequences that we ourselves our children need a win we sin when we choose to do something we know it's not right when my child chooses to disobey or be disrespectful or whatever it is we choose to see anything always enjoy it is not just happens without any are mutually we choose to spend when that happens we've taught our young people in our home because this is the accountability that the Bible talks about it we will confess them repentance repentance but it's always specific in nature without any excuses very specific for what I have done wrong what I have said wrong my child was dead wrong what they have said wrong and asking to be forgiven without any excuses accountability without harming for law only operate within the boundaries the law of God we finally have total freedom perfect freedom and I have happy enjoy I remember one day we went to a little secondhand store I was looking for something and they had when we were checking out a little death that had been little we who made you little would happen that they had constructed and little pieces of wood and had a little white wine I know you've seen these little miniatures right well and not a particularly mod miniature in the she was always now then little beauties she liked the little miniatures and she was particularly attractive with this at all little cabin artists and was a white piece of paper they are a good side about half the size of the cabin itself she was old enough to read very often reaches probably ten or so and on man with big black health hit letters that said do not do not do enough right now to put them in the stores now they face you break it you bias and think that there will I found the Houston iPhone and the other children saw the house and I thought a thousand vine luckily comes over there and I'm interacting with the man who owned the shop she looks down there she was so intrigued a little door really and she reached out there and she put her fingers on the now adorns start open to even work at the whole house exploded or are they what horrified him so with my one of our first indication parent we maintain as we made the right candidate he is about to happen but praise God we had lately seen our problem and we were very hard groin happened not that we still haven't intended that this was not our first reaction but some dramatic action and how we respond in a child right shipping shop owners lock when he played in the liberal case this was known as an before I spoke I waited for the brief moment and I looked at her and she took she said I'm sorry that I broke your house Chanel I'm happy to pay for it isn't that what she should've been doing that in the press that man so much that a lot of children are told that door mother made excuses for not offering to pay for neither protect to the children from being accountable to a boundary that was very clear do not touch the man broke down and laugh a lot of people visiting back together and what they can to come through the door now if there is a two-story but the real story had a real and pressing is asked Emily one question that you are my she read and rethink mouth do not tell us very deep impression on her and you don't really only have clear boundaries and we made our young people consequences are fitting the consequences are consistent we give a message of security to our young people and they live happily ever after even in that environment what got you people yell at Israel with stiffnecked people and that the more they want to alarm the top of the consequences became an you know we talk about the simple things but their people today to native people this room there often are setting like this that are dealing with a really hard problem we just want to share with the consequences need to be chopped because the behavior is taught God will give us the grace do it in a graceful way but I think the family that I know and they shared their experience their son was going off into some things with music and things on his computer involved in things on the Internet when appropriate and he was sneaking out of a Holliston he was getting involved in habits that he never should involve an and him beside themselves and they love their son and he wanted to draw firm boundaries and I tell you what they did is draw firm boundaries that were consistent with what they were dealing with they disconnected the Internet there wasn't no more computer use zero they took away everything that played music and the only music that was listened to with the music parents play the music they had during worship they sustain with their son twenty four hours a day the father slept in the same room with him overnight his commandments and he sat down at the table he was not allowed in any other association make no telephone call he was kept I first felt like a prisoner in his own home I was a young man could stand here today he's not here today when us if he wasn't probably would be willing to do it that young man today has spoken to me on more than one occasion he said I praise God bless my hair for loving me and to draw strong brother and sisters how much do we love our young people God loves us enough to draw firm boundaries for us to begin the loudest manager immediately enticements and so is my son is also measures of love don't worry God begins to go aboard more severe words correct the God of love it's always got along all the way through me he will not let us know he will do all he can do he said the shooter is in his heart how can I give you what he wants to speak to the last time in Judah so thrilled how much are we willing to give to our children will redraw the boundaries if we will become the best opportunity to redeem the souls of our children the ABC God wants us to do in his Hislop went if I had the face of God 's loving parenting and if we will do it God will bless us and we by God 's grace can have happy well ordered Christ centered families the bear testimony in this degenerate age because I like David David Aaron called her name comes up I hope you'll be thinking about the baby season how can you apply to your home and bring it together is very father we thank you so much for these messages we thank you then the application on our lives and you give us we thank you that you have so much love and we need to share it with our own families please help us as we go our separate ways thank you for this family that sharing the message the Waters family and the rain and be with us throughout these meetings in Jesus name amen media was brought by audio a website dedicated to spreading God 's word reading sermon audio and much more we would like to know more about our universe is like the more certain it is www. auditors .org

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