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Logo of ASI Scandinavia 2014: Sharing Christ His Way

How to Find a Life Partner Who Will Increase Your Usefulness In Service

Allan Jensen


Are you looking for Mr or Miss Right to make your life complete? Do you feel tempted to look outside of the ’household of faith‘ for your life partner because you are not finding them inside the church? This seminar not only looks at the Biblical principles that will prepare you for a life-long, fulfilling marriage, but it addresses practical details like what to do with physical contact and much more.


  • January 1, 2015
    10:30 AM
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I could show you a lot of texts in the Bible but I will just give you a few texts and then you can look it up for yourself in the dictionary of Bible concordance or something and you will find that these takes they come over and over again. It's the same two principles that you will find and this is taken from numbers thirty six and it is about it's the time of Moses and God has told Moses that he has to divide the land among the Israelites and then they had to be divided into tribes and it is like this that's a that if you have the first born son he will inherit the lands of the father and and then there was one man his name was so low for hat and he only had daughters. So he came to most and said What would we do about this because I only have daughters. And and then they said OK then the daughters can also inherit the land. But then came the next question then that that was what if our daughters will marry someone from another tribe. Maybe they will be this will be a problem because been then the land will go with the son not with my daughter and so therefore they changed the rules also for that. But in this context. God he gave us some information on how to find out who to choose and how to choose a life partner. And I'd like to show this for you and most is command of the children of Israel according to the worst of the lot saying the triumph of the sons of Joseph has said well this is the thing with the lot does command so we can now see that what is coming is a commandment from the Lord. He's giving advice from the lot and then he comes with two things. That's the law he commands concerning the daughters of silver hat saying let them marry to whom they think best. This is one of the principals only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry and this is taken from numbers. So they were only allowed to marry within their tripes Can you understand this. Because then then when the inheritance would come then it will not go to another tribe. So the tribe of Joseph was allowed to marry within the tribe of Joseph. But here you find two principles the first principle is there are some laws some principles that are governing who you shoot to marry or who you should not marry and if you keep within those then you can go to the next step and then you can marry those who you think best. OK let's look at those things that the Bible says it governs Firstly look at the first rule and that is the laws that you have to follow before you can go and heads among those group of people. Let me explain like this. The Bible says what kind of group. Let's say you are a boy then the Bible says. What kind of group of girls you have to choose among. It sets certain rules and when these girls have you can tick off and you say OK they fulfill this rule and this role in this rule. OK then you can go ahead and look upon this group of girls the unfenced and then you choose the best you. That's true and it's the other way around of course among boys you get that right. OK now we'll look at some of these rules that you have to follow the first thing the Bible says is you cannot marry and on believe or if you are believer then you are not allowed to marry an unbeliever. That means like this if you marry an unbeliever it is not so that you are damned for all eternity. The Bible is clear about that that even if you marry an unbeliever. If you have not done the unpardonable sin. OK So so I have to say that but the Bible really cautions very carefully about marrying an unbeliever. If you are believe it is you can find in second trying to stop the six of us fourteen it says be you not on equally yoked together with unbelievers and the reason why I believe it says an equally yoked together is because when you are together with an unbeliever it is and you are in the world in this when we are in where the Satan is very powerful. You can see that that it is sometimes more easy for the unbeliever to influence you in the wrong direction than it is for you to influence the unbeliever in the right direction. Did you get that point. OK So so I believe this is the reason right this on equally yoked and then says House again first print it up to seven thirty nine we have the two principles against your will To us it says the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives. Is this true and if you are married for example my wife she is married with me and she stuck with me until I die. And that's why I try to live very healthy. OK So she stuck with me I'm sorry for that and he's not here I can see. So this is what the law says. But if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will tell you see if the same idea again whom you will only in the last. So you have to make sure that the person you marry is in the lot and you have yourself to be in the lot. If you are not in the lot you cannot marry at all. Running to the Bible we will see that in a few minutes. So so you get this first point don't marry an unbeliever and you have to be in the law that means you have to be a convert to truly convert a Christian and you have to make sure that it is that we converted to Christian. Let me make this very clear and it is not all Jews who are Jews according to the Bible and it is not all at consists who are really Athens. That means you are only allowed if you want to Athens just then you're only allowed to marry at through Athens did you get this point. I hope this is very clear for you. You had to make sure you are yourself converted and the one you want to choose has to be thoroughly converted. Otherwise according to the Bible it's best for you to stay low they think OK And like she also has something to say about this. You can read a lot about this he is very strict about this marrying unbelievers and and to make sure you're a good believer it says here it is a dangerous thing to form a worldly alliance. Satan well knows that our Which witness the marriages of many young men and women close is the history of their religious experience and usefulness. So when they get married when an unbeliever it closes the history for their religious experience and useless for a time they may make an effort to live a Christian life but all their strivings are made against their influence in the opposite direction. Once they felt it a privilege to speak of that joy and hope. But soon they become unwilling to make this a subject of conversation. Knowing that the one with whom they have linked that destiny. He takes no interest in these things in this way satan insidiously weaves about them with our skepticism and faith in the precious tools dies out of the heart. This is not always but in most cases unfortunately. You can go to the book at them just home and she has a whole chapter with that quote after quote after quote where she speaks about this topic so alone this topic we could use one half hour but let's continue. So the first thing you have to make sure is the one you marry is in the lot and you are yourself in the lot. The next thing you have to do is to speak with your parents. That is a lot of putting to the Bible and according to the spirit of prophecy when it comes to choosing a partner my son he had the instruction of your father and forsake not the law of your mother. This is very smart because your parents would have done a lot of mistakes in the past and it's stupid of you to do the same mistakes in the future. If you could listen to them and then hinder that you do the mistakes and what Jesus if you are blessed with God fearing parents seek counsel of them open to them your hopes and plans. Learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught and you will be saved many a heartache and bravado. Make Christ your counselor. Start his word with prayer. So the first thing you have to do counsel with your god fearing parents. What if you don't have God fearing parents what do you then do and you just go on your own you know. Yes yeah that's that's that is the most important. So. But I think also it is a very good idea to speak with other people in the church who really convert it's considered true Christians speak with and have good counsel from them. This will give you a lot of help I think. And of course Jesus you feel confident about everything and that you will follow the fine counsel in his word this is something I really was I was really amazed about because I thought what we had does it say about this in the Bible and I had to search and search but when you begin to surface and you find it is everywhere. So it's really interesting how much you find in the Bible about these things. So the first principle you have to make sure you're in the lot the second principle you have to make sure that you counsel with people who are spiritually and at best it would be with your parents. We also have a good advice from the Bible and that is before you choose someone. And among the ones you choose you have to look at the mother also the father I'm very happy it doesn't speak so much about the father actually but that he does somewhere else speak about the father but it is especially the mother you have to look at because the mother has a connection with the children that the father will never have. So the Bible says here behold everyone that uses proverbs shall use this private against you this is from a seeker sixteen forty four saying as is the number. So is her daughter. Is this true according to the Bible it is true and then right she says to a young man and to a young woman actually under such guidance let a young woman accept as a life companion only one. Who possesses pure manly traits of character one who is diligent aspiring and honest one who loves and fears God isn't that interesting. You just find a lot of these young men and then you get married to one on and on per person. Is that nice. So here you have everything you need to look for in the young man he has to possess. But your manly trait you know to sit up all night and play on a computer while craft I don't know what they are calling them. Is that a pew or manly trait. One who takes responsibility and whose diligence he can he be delivered the next day. If he's been up all night aspiring an honest one who loves and fears God tell you this this is this is a very good advice to follow. Some girls they come and they say but where are they and I have young men they come to me and they say where the girls let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fit to be here this year of life spirit and one who influence whose influence in noble and refine him and who will make him happy in her love. This is one thing I found that young men are often more child and young women. And can you see that that this was refining and ennobling here this is really important for the young girls when they get married to the young man that they understand that they have to make sure that they encourage him not to be so childish. When I when I got about thirty years old my wife she said she was really hoping I would grow up. And then she said I didn't happen. Then she said OK when he turns forty to be better. And it still did not happen. And now I've turned fifty and now she's hoping for sixty or so. So if I tell you it's really true and I'm extremely childish and I try to behave myself. But I from nature I'm extremely I come from the world so I'm extremely extremely childish and and and you'll find that a lot of young men within the advantaged church that unfortunately just the same not all but a lot of them true love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful happy union. Would you all like to have that a peaceful happy marriage. I think many of you if you look at your parents you will see that it's not OK. Would you like to have a peaceful happy union you follow this advice who would excrete future mystery and sorrow in choir before she feels her affections before what that means is before you fall in love with a person. Can you see that you have to guide your feelings here. You cannot just go ahead and fall or whenever he's walking on stage. You don't do that you have to guide your feelings and that means you guide your thoughts. You write this down. This is important stuff so you guide your feelings and your affections. What is the stamp. Has he has my lover and mother what is the stamp on her character. Does he recognize his obligations to her. Is he mine. It's her wishes and happiness. If he does not respect and honor his mother will he manifest respect love kindness and attention towards his wife. I tell you this is one hundred percent true. When the novelty of marriage is over will he love me still. We need to be patient with my mistakes. Or will he be critical overbearing and dictatorial. Would you like to be married to a dictatorial hosp. You know a lot of girls they love these dominant young men but who do you think is going to be a dictatorial one. The phlegmatic little bit behind other dominant Yeah I think unfortunates the dominant guy. Now I don't want to discard to dominant males in here. But but when we come at the foot of Jesus and become changed then we can also be married or some of you can offer us OK to affection will overlook many mistakes. Love Will Not this and that. So there are certain rules that you have to make sure that you have to follow and when you see OK you click and this is OK this is OK this is OK then you go to the final one. I just have one more here. We have actually already mentioned it but this is one and that is you have to make sure your own character is ready and I want you right here in fifth testimony you should write. You read this whole chapter. This is to a young man who who wanted to marry a young girl and she just did everything she could to discourage him. Everything you have been not you should not be eager to enter the marriage relation and that's true in the care of a family before you have power that is to your own character. I regard you as in great darkness but aren't able to realize your peril. You have the same the same idea from Matthew chapter twenty two and there's eleven to twelve you know it speaks about you had to have a wedding garment a certain character before you were able to come to the marriage. This is the same idea. So before you even think about giving your feelings to anyone you have to make sure that you are true christians that is the idea. OK when all these things are followed then you come to the next point. The second rule to govern let them marry to whom they think best. Can you say you have to counsel with your parents or your pastor or are some of the spirit of friends can do that but who have to do the thinking. Can he you have to do the thinking. And remember this is to go in the Old Testament. You know sometimes you think that the girls in the Old Testament they were really not allowed to to choose for themselves. But here you can see from the numbers that they were allowed to choose for themselves you find this in numbers thirty six six. So they should think for themselves can use that and they just think who is best. Can you say you are choosing among several people you're looking at OK I like this guy names Michael and this guy his name is Tani. And then I like Johnnie also and I think yeah Kim whatever his name is. I mean that's a girl's name I don't know but came in then when you said men and boys names. OK And you look at these four boys these these are the four boys that are going through all the other things you have ticked off. OK OK Now who is best among those ones and the new. You think and think this one's best is that easy and you go ahead and I'll tell you at the end today how you do it. OK so you have to think. Remember you have the real responsibility. This is important. One thing you should think about and very many people in Northern Europe they do not think about this and this is where many of the young men and the young women but I have to say especially the young women there's two things from this point. I'm so sorry to say that in the old days it was like this that a man had to pay a certain amount of money in order to have the wife and that was not in order to you know to pool all the money out of the young man but he was in on it to prove that he was able to support a family and why she says the ancient custom those sometimes abused. Not always sometimes as my labor was productive of good results was a bad result of good results good results when the sort of what's required to render service to secure his bride and hasty marriage was prevented. Does the Bible one hasty marriages no. Can you see that it's very smart to think about things. Don't be hasty. Think it through thoroughly. What's permitted. And there was opportunity to test the depth of his affections. Can you see that when they had to work for a certain time you had time to know if it was really true love or it was just some kind of feeling as well. It's his ability to provide for our family in our time. Many evils result from pursuing an opposite course. I tell you the guys who are very often the worst suited to take care of a family. They will give you most children. That's why I have four children. I get this point. You will get more children with a guy who is not so smart to to take care of you as a family. I don't know how life like this but he's very often like that. I don't say that those or was who have many children like myself that they are not good at this but that is very often like that. Very often like this so young girls if you see that he has no education and he's thirty five you think this through one more time on maybe five more times before you marry. Then offense and bias. I tell you this if you do not make sure that you are awake in classes and make sure you have a job that can feed a family you are not interested. I will counsel every girl and I can counsel not to marry the guy that's so grow up drop your computer games and do your homework and get top grades and then get on with your life because this is this is this is reality. When you get married to a marriage you come into reality that's for sure. Yeah this is true this is two very very fine you're going to see some people they say. Today's also very troubled times. We just had a financial crisis and we're most likely going to have another one and everybody who just looks at the oil they can see we were getting into big problems. There are many things that's really. It doesn't persuade me that it's a good time to marry. And so that's why some people they say that it's good that the young people they don't marry that they had to stay away from each other and you have these speek groups two hundred fifty young people and they are all singles most of them. And yeah I think I think if you look at the at the world and that all the troubles that you will never marry not in this time. So so it it's it is good to think things thoroughly through before you do anything. Yeah but good common sense. I think that young people stay to have a big problem and that is because the parents they do not teach the young men and young girls well enough. I think that that is the biggest problem. Because if they would teach the young children the children they have to to make themselves ready for for marriage I think eventually they will be married. And if they don't help their children to be ready for marriage then they will not be married or be unhappy married if they do get married. That's the unfortunate thing. I don't believe that the Bible of the Spirit of Prophecy is against and where places like that. I don't think so of course you have to still to fulfill it has to be a true believer and you have to look at these things. And and the world is different today than it was in her time. And this is a different way to come in contact with each other. And if you're very shy type of person you know I have some suggestion for you at the end of the meeting but I think most of us we are very shy in this world today. I see that people are very shy. Yeah I love those. But you know when you become a Christian right. So you know all of those of the right. She's actually mean people like people like her. Yes you know a little bit as we go through this season. Yes. So if this is a good place to go all the people are yeah yeah you do need to listen to you know I think I think if we had meetings like this and we had only meeting four men and only meeting for women we would have still some coming. But I think we have a lot fewer coming. So I think actually this is meetings like these are very good because I think this is this is a great help for for the young people to to look at each other and speak with each other and to get to know each other. So I think this is this is fine. This is a very fine place. And you have here I think very spiritual young people. And if you are spiritual yourself this is where you should look for for your life partner. Of course you also have to fulfill all the other things and that we are coming to more information and that you have to fulfill more questions. Yes yes. Right. That's a lot of studies on the web about this. So this is a good one point. Yes of course and the reason why I believe that Ellen White and the Bible does not speak so much about the personality is because when you truly become a Christian then you can I think you can really live. It'll be harder. It's true but you can really live together with the one who is totally opposite yourself in personality. So where but it's a good point there is a point. OK you can can I can I became before because we had that talk on the lifestyle T.V. yesterday and I said something there on lifestyle T.V. that your team had questions about and so he came to me and he said Ellen do you believe in the one only and I have to say to you I I believe not in the one and only. I believe that there will be more people you could be married to. I believe that that they will wonder who would be better than others but I believe you could be married to to several people if you were born in Japan and China and in Africa you would most likely not to be married to one woman in northern Finland also that they understand. So I believe that a lot he can give you. He can mix you could fit you together with with others but then you walk in he said to me but there will be someone that will be best for you yeah that's true and I believe that a lot he will eat you. And then we agreed so so that is one of the better for you for sure than others I'm sure about that. I think in the Mormon Church you can budding appen sister if it doesn't fit. Yeah. If there's no more questions now you would have. It's a time for question later. Then I will continue. What does inspiration say about courtship. You know courtship this is normally the love period before you get engaged and then you get married and then I started this very thought of you and I was very I was very possible it's because when I started from Genesis to Revelation there was silence I didn't find the word courtship. I didn't find the word part and I didn't find this and that I didn't find anyone just kissing and holding hands and then going away from each other and finding another one. I didn't find that anywhere in the Bible and I thought Wow Where is this. I must find something and then I thought I would look at all of our stories we can find and then I would study very carefully so I studied Rebeca. And I think you know this wonderful story about Rebecca and there's a lot to learn from this a lot I really recommend you study this in Genesis Chapter twenty four. But it doesn't say anything about this courtship period. These There is nothing about it it was just bang. You know I'm I'm a little bit impulsive guy so I like that. But to be impulsive but he's obviously been thinking things through. You see so that is not good either. You have to think things through thoroughly before you let loose your impulses and so so I found that there was nothing about what you did then yeah I found Jacob and Rachel and all the other girls that he had especially Jacob and Rachel. You know they knew each other for seven years and it says nothing about that he kissed her or that he even held her hand and when the evening came she was even veiled and he didn't say why I wailed you know that she was veiled all and and he didn't find out that it was the wrong one until the morning. And if that's so if you had hold her hand are done. Something before he was hurt and feel like a racial understand. Somehow we can see that this nothing about courtship they were speaking together they were talking a lot together I'm sure but there was no kissing no late nights and things like that. So and then you have Ruth and Boris. This is also a love story from the Bible and you find no no courtship period of Ruth and Boris are either. You have Mary and Joseph the Bible does not give us any information about any courtship period for them either. OK I will come to the conclusion here. Convenient and white when you look you have the word you keep in the word courtship and you find that she has a lot to say about courtship. Well when you study through the quote that she comes out with quite crotchet it is nearly between ten or fifteen different quotes. That's it. And ninety five percent of them are negative about courtship and she says about how bad it is and you should not do that this time and you can and it really sounds as if you can ever have any courtships when you come to the end of it. Let me just show something here. She says not one word should be spoken not one action performed that you would not be willing the holy angels should look upon and register in the books above. So when you together with your loved one before you are engaged or married it does that not one word not one act that you would not like them to to write down. So it seems that it is if you have a car to Pierrots it to be extremely modest. That's exactly the word that you use. You should have an eye single to the glory of God The heart should have only pure. Thank you fight a fiction worthy of the followers of Jesus Christ exultant in its nature and more heavily than earthly anything different from this is basing the draping in courtship and marriage cannot be holy and honorable in the sight of a pure and holy God That is after the exalted scriptural principle. Can you see he says after the excited scriptural principle. So he says we have to follow the scriptures when it comes to courtship and how much did the Scripture say about courtship. Cyril. So I came to this terrible conclusion. Yeah let me just show this quote also why that school student should not allow them lines to become confused by thoughts of courtship. Now this he's not speaking about students who are way after twenty years old. She does not speak about it. She didn't say that to to collect when he was at school to study for medicine. She was speaking about people until they are twenty because he says twenty plus. That's the time to think about marriage. They have to gain a fitness to work forgot and this thought is ever to be uppermost. Let all students take a brought as broad a POS a view as possible of their or their obligations to God let them study earnestly how they can do practical work for the master during their student life. Let them refuse to burden the souls of their teachers by showing a spirit of the levity and a callous disregard of rules and she's referring here to the Battle Creek School where they had rules that was. No courting whatsoever there was one student going there and he was courting a young woman and he says you are going to Battle Creek. You're crazy to do this and this is not exactly work but similar to that and then she said you know you don't know the rules there. You're not allowed to court and back out of trick so he said he says I suggest you don't go there you will cast the cast of the just and I had to put our sense of the Norwegian all that night. I found that many of these quotes I found about courtship. Then I studied all the different quotes and then I found the context where the quote was taken from and it was not speaking about courtship it was speaking about and then these couples most of them so she doesn't speak much about courtship either it is just in the quotation books where they put it under the heading of courtship and he's actually speaking of most of the times he was speaking about and engaged couples let those who are contemplating marriage wait every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think tonight their life destiny. Let every step toward a Marriage Alliance be characterized by modesty simplicity sincerity and an earnest purpose to please and honor God marriage affect the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. Is it interesting that to whom you will be married will affect also the life to come. So it's an important question as an sick person will make no plans that God cannot prove I'm not in need is one. It's too long but he is he's just as negative about courtship here. Yeah you can read it it's in the rear and Harold anyone would like to have the power point off what with all the quotes they can get it from me. Let me come to the conclusion here. The Bible is silent about courtship. It speaks of engagement and marriage. What does this mean. Ellen White is negative about normal types of courtship. She speaks about engagement and in marriage positive in some places many places negative growth. He says there's not. I think it is she says. One in hundreds that are happy in their marriage. So why do you want to get married. We're not even Hungary even here. I'm sorry. So so I don't want to discourage you. And I'm I'm really sorry if I do so I just want to bring some reality into the business and so that you choose the right one from the beginning and if you don't get one you know among the one thousand nine hundred eighty eight is you know unhappy but I will come to that later. OK. Inspiration seems to indicate that believe us should grow up until the age of engagement and marriage which is twenty years plus according to an white before we choose a partner this is this was my conclusion I came to I had to tell this to my son one of my sons and then and it seems to me that the Bible doesn't speak very much about courtship and in the White House he says we should go to the Bible and find the. Principles then follow those choosing a pattern according to inspiration seems to start with a short engagement and then marriage. But if you have to think things through over a period of time you can have a short engagement. That means you have to look at the person for a considerable time and see the development and then you choose. That's at least how I understand it. Maybe you you come to another conclusion and you can help me. But this was the data I found and I try to study everything that she had said OK and when she has something to say about courtship she says like we had seen before. Modesty simplicity and spirituality. This has to be up top if you have someone you're courting. You have to be so modest and I just have to be open with you I don't know if this is dangerous to get on. On the tape here. But I think that do you think that tongue kissing is very modest. I heard that one guy he said what you can do to the pastor's wife. You shouldn't do to your girlfriend because you are not one with your girlfriend yet and you're not one with the pastor's wife. So he says you look at that what you can do with the pastor's wife you do or do go for it. And this verse if you're a girl so I don't want to discourage you but as as as far as I can see from the Bible in the Spirit of Prophecy this pastor he was actually right even though they were shocked when he came to these things to your school. This is some years ago the Bible says if you. I pray two times a day before crossing someone or having a girlfriend or boyfriend. The need to pray twice as much as the Bible says and the Spirit of Prophecy is very clear on this. Don't sit up late at night talk with your girlfriend or boyfriend in daytime. I know many of you maybe you came to this class because you thought he has the wisdom to so you can get married and now you would like you had not come he maybe I don't hope so but I just have to tell you this was what I found and I'm really sorry for showing this to you but I think I think really that if you follow this if all of us we are all full of this I think we would have much more happy marriages I really do believe so and why she says that what you would like to do would you go from now say that on to the bank and do all the lovely romantic things with your wife. But he says very often all the romantic things will disappear when you marry. This is what she says. So so actually in a way you see God is trying to give us these things. I think in order to let us have a happy life a happy married a romantic life. I think this is why we give these councils up so carefully. The spiritual development of your partner. I've said it very carefully. I have you know I have told you know I'm fifty years old and I have seen young men who were the most dedicated when they were twenty years old and today they are so they are so off. And religion means. So little to them. So it's incredible. I would never have guessed this so. So I just tell you that these councils they are so so fair and so right. If you could if you could go twenty years or twenty five years out in the future and you can see the lives of all of us here you'll see many of us will not be in the church even in this group. I have one in one thousand nine hundred eighty eight and eighty nine when the medicine school started I was actually among the first ones who helped start these new year's meetings and we had hundred sixty young people coming down extremely spirit we were studying the Bible for hours and hours and many of them they joined their lives and many of them are not in the church today. Many of them are not in the church and many of them are in the church but how spiritual I don't know. But it doesn't seem that there's your spiritual so. So these these councils they are so fair and so so such a blessing for us. Yeah you can see the living describes this young. And yeah there's a question. Right that's why it's a very good story to study very carefully and to see which principles you find that and you look for the same thing. And yeah very good point. OK let's all stand up for just one moment to do that. Yeah I'm sorry. We're not going to have a break because otherwise will not make it. So everybody stretches. This is good. Yes and we jump a little bit jump a little bit and see if you can jump up so far. Isn't that nice. Then you can sit down. I hope you're more relaxed too. To too. Yeah. To come with your concerns and because I do acknowledge that the young people today they their concerns what to do and I think a lot of young people they go on these web pages to find that loved ones. I think a lot of them and I don't say this is wrong but you also have to be very careful very careful. So where yeah Was this a surprise for you that courtship is not so much encouraged in the Bible. You know this is knowing. OK so your you know your Bible student so it's only me who understood something you can I go on to the last part. Give me this is a good question. You know the rate of females in the atoms is just you know there are more females and males in the interest rate. I try to look at some some statistics and I was shocked when John Mica it was really bet it's thirty percent to seventy percent. I don't know if any of you are from sure Mike if I did it was really better. That means they're leaving the church and the women are left behind. So you went to the wrong place you mean. Yeah yeah that's right you went to the right place already. Yeah I'm sorry. So you can see that. But let me give the girls a very good news here and a lot of these females they are older. These guys the hospitals they die. So so I just want to encourage you that that it's not like this that there are a lot of there are five women to every male. You know it's not like that. Yes. One member years ago we were staying in the church. Right right right. Yeah. So you have to take the statistic with a certain amount of knowledge. Yes So so when another test they make here and this was actually in Denmark they meet this test. This is a scientific test was done very far only they tested since one nine hundred seventy. A lot of Atlantis and Baptists and women and also another of other women. And among those women that was tested was about I think is about ten thousand Baptist and Adventist women although we're not that many in in Denmark but that they tested over quite a long period of time. And they find out that found out that that there was no more female attitudes who were suffering from depression compared to the norm of integration depression so a lot of the Atlantis girls they were depressed and they were trying to look into why this was so. And the the scientists they came to that quick to the conclusion that it could be because there was more and females in the church than males. But when you see that if they are if they're depressed because of a mis understanding of this. Stick this is wrong to be depressed. Understand this. You know another thing I saw in the church is that you have a school class of AT and T.'s to young people and let's say they're coming to the age of marriage. They say they are past twenty and then you see that that all of the boys they are interested in one or two or three of the girls and you have all the girls they are interested in one or two of the boys and they're not interested in the rest of the boys I think is another question. Another problem we have the young people have been looking at too many films I don't know what they have been looking at but but something they have been looking at something that has that has changed their mind so they are only looking at looks and certain things since for me it seems like it's like this not everywhere of course but I've seen it very often. Yes. Yeah. Through a series of it. That's right yeah. OK I thought since you are young people I thought I want to give you some practical advice. I hope you can use some of these I don't know but but at least I want to give it to you. And and the first advice we have already we have already talked about this but I really want to to to stress this very important point and that is make sure you yourself are ready for marriage and that means you have to be in the lot you have to make sure you are a true Christian one hundred percent. Not only on Sabbath morning two hours and the rest of the week you're not and you have to test yourself at home. See how you behave at home with your family. Are you nice. Do you help your parents or do you say no it was I was washing the dishes last time let my brother do this are you a servant here I am like a family. He was a converted guy he was worth to be married to you know he said to me like he caught him and he was there. Yes here I am sir. It's what you want. Would you like to have a husband like this. Our girlfriend by the way. So so I think it is so important to see how you act at home. If you were a nice girl at home even when people are you know a disparate hate are not always so nice to you that you are still nice nice. This is so important that we are true Christians and the Bible says and in Matthew Chapter one Verse twenty one and she that is Mary shall bring forth a son and you that is Joseph shall call his name Jesus for he shall save his people from their sins. There was one woman who came to Ellen White and she asked How do I know if I'm truly converted and then like you said did you just stop sinning and you know in some churches it is not so popular to say you just stop sinning and people say it but you can't stop sinning if you can't stop sinning. You're not ready for marriage because you have to be converted to be married and if you want to be converted according to Ellen White in the Bible you have to be saved what from you since you cannot do this you're on your own. It is only Christ who can save you but you have to be saved from you soon. If you are grumpy if you are sour if you are in any way. Behaved at home you have to convert and come to Christ. That's how it is when you're already gone cannot accept our confession here have a person who even confesses to God but you cannot accept it unless we repent and repentance is to be sorrow for sin and not do it again. I know there's a lot of sense among young people the Bible even says Free the what is it the sins of the lustful sins of the youth or something like that. OK So so you have to be extremely careful with your lust and your lust is combined with your thoughts. So we have to be extremely careful about your thoughts. Bring your four thoughts back on the Word of God on spiritual topics you do this all the time. And let me tell you girls into romanticism the romantic novels and things like that and boys they're into something else so the devil he said tucking us on different levels and the boys I don't need to tell you what you're into. So but you all had to be so careful to guide your mind not to do anything or look at anything or think it anything that can destroy your life. So it says here God cannot accept our confession unless we repent and give up our sins we have to give them up give them to Jesus let him save you from your sins. We must make decide that changes in our lives we have to search our hearts carefully and my right with Christ on not just when we are truly sorry for sin we will give up everything that is not pleasing to God the work that we must do is playing that before us. Wash yourselves clean. But stop all this evil that I see you doing. Yes stop doing evil and learn to do right. So it's not only to stop a lot of things. It is also to stop a lot of things you have to start to do what is right and to think what can I do that is right. And I tell you one thing that is very right is to watch this. I said I love to wash dishes. Is that true. I wash a lot of dishes at home. We don't have a dishwasher. It's not I could not afford it this way. But we only for children and in the couple you know so it's just create a lot of dishes. So but is no from you standard this is you have a nice talk. Oh it's a lovely work. Yeah and you know it's so cheap. Stop doing evil and do learn to do right. See that justice is done. Help those who are oppressed. Give orphans their rights and defend widows. Did you think it was a nice thing that they're doing in Copenhagen with this happy and you know helping the poor ones. This is so correct. We have not done half of what we should have done at the church on that. If if he an evil man returns to the security he took for a long August back what he stole. If we stop sinning and follows the laws that give life he will not die but live. So very easy if you really practically want to prepare yourself for marriage and find someone. Make sure you're ready to be married. OK there are ten chapters the first ten first chapters in Atlanta still and the ten last chapters in messages to young people read those and you study those you think about those. And you. When you are doing all the things that this isn't the first time and the last ten years of these two books then you are ready for marriage and I tell you you will find someone or someone will find you. And he's also following the sense at this that and the rest of the music you know so so so this is this is very good stuff. You go on and read this and in these two and only these twenty chapters you find nearly ninety percent of all what you had to say about marriage and engagement and courtship and all kinds of things. Now I want to finish this there are talking with a little love story I want to tell you what to do now if I was a female because it is true even if you look away from all the other figures that there's a few extra girls than boys. If I were a female and I wanted to become married and I was sincerely converted to the Lord I would study the Book of Ruth and see how Ruth she's doing things because you know Ruth she didn't wait for boys because you know boys what a young man how do you think was was I think was very old when he was at least thirty five. He had that's when you're about thirty years old I think maybe he was even forty years old and I don't know why he was not married because he was able to get to run a family. He could afford to have a family. We can see from the Bible that was he was quite well off and but let us read how the whole story came about and I will come at it when we go through it. The Bible says because he first talked with and with truth then said Paul was onto his servants that was set over the reapers who stand so that young girl is this. So she was younger than him clearly younger and the servant that was set over the reapers answered and said it is and the more bite each damsel they came back with not only out of that country up more out. OK can't can you see something that that boy was he did he got some information about this go just go and he didn't just look and get the information from him so he just watched her all the time didn't do that. He went around and spoke with this and I don't know how many people he spoke but we can see from the following text that he got a lot of information about Ruth. So let me tell you the young guys here when you have a girl that your interest in are all several girls that you interest. Make sure you collect a lot of information. So girls if you suddenly hear that someone is collecting a lot of information you know that you are getting ready. OK but I just want to tell you that this is the correct way to do it. According to the Bible I think this was very clever done in the violence and say ah this was a bad thing for boys he should never have done something like this. Yes yes. Information those books and Goldman go on and it may have been here. Yeah yeah yeah understanding so very good question. Let me tell you you will never get married if you are not courageous if you are cowards. You'll stay single. That's how it appeared. You have to be correct you have to pray to live out to give you courage to get this information because you need this information. You see you cannot just look at growth and find out. She looks nice. You cannot you have to get the information. I think at least and according to the boys he also wanted and he he took the risk. So you take the risk as boys and then it says and she said I pray you let me glean and gather after the repose among the sheeps. So she came and has continued even from the morning until now that she tarried a little in the house then said go on to rules. OK so this was OK. Yeah this is where she is she's now working with him. MENSAH thoughts on truth here are just not not my daughter. So he speaks very nicely to her. But you can see he called So What. So he's much older a little bit creepy I think rather than go not to be seen in another field. Now the goal from here but I'm fast by my maiden. So this man he clearly made sure to do that that he wanted her to be there and she was not doing a drop frames he was actually doing a job for herself and for her mother in law. So so so we can see that that Ruth she understood that somehow that he was not. Can use that. OK So this is another thing to the young men in here you can be nice to the girl that you're looking at and trying to get information about being nice and friendly to them this is very important to see how the story continues. A lot of reading now we see Ruth in action. Let your eyes be on the field that they do read and call you after THEM HAVE I NOT charts the young men but they should not touch you. You see this is poor speaking to Ruth and he says that I have told my guys that they had to be care to be nice to you so you stay here you're safe here. So she understood that the boys he was not unfriendly to her and when you want a thirst go on to the vessels and drink of that which the young men have gone. Then she fell on her face and bowed herself to the ground and said unto him Why have I found grace in your eyes that you should take knowledge of me seeing I am a stranger. Can you see. She understood very clearly that he was friendly to water is he that and why did she do. I knew you would do like that you know if you didn't know why she fell down she was very humble and I tell you every girl in hell you should know this. Hospital wouldn't really love a courageous woman but a humble I think there is no males in here who would like to have only a courageous woman but not a humble woman. I think that is true. Everyone they really feel attracted to humble women. This is true. OK And boys oncet. Yes men to my sort of us to some and both answered and said unto her. It has fully been showed me all of that you have done unto your mother in law since the death of your husband. Can you see how much information he knew. It has been slowly been shown to me that he got a lot of information this guy and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of you and I don't know how you. I think if you don't want it and come unto a people which you knew not from before the law to recompense your work and F for reward be given you are not part of Israel. On whose wings you come to trust. Can you see. He did also discern that that Ruth was really spirit to woman and that he had done a lot of sacrifice in order to follow the last and I tell it to the girls in here. Every young man who attends this meeting they would really love a girl like Ruth. So you just take the rules as much as possible. And a few decades from now few years from now. You would be married. I I truly believe so I twenty but if if you if you really go after Ruth because he is such a wonderful example as saw and I don't even know what she looks like but just by reading about Ruth I think she's very attractive just a personality and let me tell you this one thing. The looks will change over time. You should see the pictures of. Don't have any of you seen pictures of us through stories when he was a very young man. You have yeah. He sees a nice looking for another man but he was very good looking. He was a young man. But you see everybody even those ties over time between they go out and they get wrinkles and a little heavy and things like that. So so you know that's why you have to live with the character for the rest of the life. And a character like you would love to live to visit if your mate and a man like him because he's such a nice man. OK. Then she said let me find savior in your side my lord for you have confronted me and for that you have spoken friend until your hands meet you know be I'd be not like unto one of your hand me downs. So he says he was even compare herself with the other hand Baden said yes and Bohr said unto her at mealtime come you here and eat off the bread and dip your lost in the bin God and she sat beside the reapers and he reached her parts KHON and she did eat and was southeast and left. And do you think that that he saw that she left something that he didn't eat everything. Did you think that he saw that and do you think that he thought that what she was going to use that for you see he would love to have a wife like this who takes so well care of his kids and be so friendly towards them and and can you see how much he was thinking about others. This girl so attractive is it too don't you. OK sorry she's dead long ago. It's as in Ruth chapter two verse one to sixteen and one she was written up to glean what commanding his young men think. Let her glean even among the seeds and reproach or not and let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her and leave them that she may clean them and rip through cannot so he even makes sure that they would throw a few extra sheaves to her so that she would get even more food and when she came home. Now we did what you know well where did you get all this food from so quickly and I was a boy as food to the end then you know only if you began three two plus two and you had a lot of what was said and I actually I don't think that Ruth she had any romantic ideas at all about boys but I think you know me. She was a clever woman. Then only her mother in law set on to her. My daughter shall I not seek rest for you that I that it may be well with you. Let me tell you here this is a very good idea. Speak with your mother speak with your father talk with him about things we have already talked about it but be really practical about this. I tell him to be able they will give you the best advice and the mother will be better than the father. I have to see because the mother they really know their children very well and they'll It's a very good at seeing who the others they are like and now is not the worst of our kindred with whom. Who's making you what you were behold he will spirally tonight in the dressing floor wash yourself therefore and anoint you and put your. They meant upon you and get you down to the floor. But make not yourself known onto the man until he shall have done eating and drinking and it shall be when he lies down that you shall not the place where he shall lie and you said go in and uncover his feet and lay you down and he will tell you what you should do and she's set on to her all that you say on to me I will do. That was courageous. Do you know what this was. She was actually asking for his hand. This is what it meant to lift up is coming and then lying under with his feet. Understand how it was a Bic courageous move this was. What if he was. Well get away I don't want to be a man. Can you see it was really courageous. Ruth and I tell you you have to be courageous if you are a coward. Don't you will not be married. I'm sorry to say so. So we have to pray to Jesus. Give me courage. OK. And she went down on to the floor and did according to all that another involved ater. And when the boys had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn and he came softly and uncovered his feet and laid down and you know the rest of the story. I don't have to read it and then he found her and he told her that I said this one who was closer than he was in the family so he had to beat him away first but he gave her that food a lot of food and then after some time she went home. So we don't have to read that you all know that but I just want to tell you that this is a hoot. Sorry to learn from that you cannot just sit there. If you should tell you a little dream it may be that girl will say no but that's a risk you have to take. Maybe the boy was one of the young men but that's a risk you have to take if you never take any risks. You don't win anything. I'm doing business I have a company in Denmark and we're doing printing and if we don't make any risks we don't have any game you have to take risks all the time. That's how it is. So this is also so here you have to take the risk. Now I want to educate you to take the risk because most of you will not take this risk and therefore a lot of I see a lot of young people who are not married today and I don't see so many in America who are not married. They're still married but the ones who are among the canvassers they're always they nearly always get married. Now do you know why when you are canvassing you have to be very courageous to knock at the door to go to a person's door you don't know and then knock and try to sell some Christian books at a Scandinavian door and I tell you you know you will meet a doc and he will bite you. You will need a sour face. So there's a lot of things that could happen to you when you're canvassing and this is such a good education. It's a splendid education. Unfortunately not very many young people they attend the campus in class they are gained in how to get a partner class so the next class I would like you to attend will be the cameras in class. I know this man who's doing the cameras in class he's very I think he's somewhat. Press because I am I am a printer and we have printing a lot of canvassing books and so you think why am I not helping him with the cameras in class. So getting a lot of the young people but this is actually what I'm doing here. I tell you there's no other job that will educate you so well to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend or get married and you rather see it like that then too to do counseling work. This is such a good work. Now in Denmark you're not allowed to do canvassing and then you go to Norway or you go to Sweden. Or you go to America or you go to England. So please it's a terrible work. I know it's a tat we all hate it but I think it will educate you to be wonderful wonderful wife and a wonderful husband because you have to be friendly when people are angry at you. You are friendly to them and this is really something that is close and the longer period you will do it the more yeah I'll guarantee you one hundred percent be married. I had one girl she was working for me and she had nothing chemistry very much and then you know see if he's laughing now because he knows the go and then that and then I said Can you please do some kind of thing work because I want to find out how all books are running and I could hear that she was a little bit discouraged about this but then she found out that there was a group of people who were canvassing and she went to get over them and then she went canvassing. I can remember how much I think it was three or four or five weeks and she quickly became one of the best one to two to do the kind of thing with really good and I knew she would do that because he's a nice girl and and she learned how to be open with people and and to have courage and it and she just got married. That's strange. So. So this is. This is the best thing you can do that is to to go canvassing. Now if you cannot go canvassing and then you have to do some other kind of person in Angeles so you have to speak with your partner do you have some Bible students on me that I could go and visit and then you study the Bible with them you have to learn to speak with people. This is so important and and this will also help you to grow your spirituality and it will be happy and OK I thought I wanted to show you this. It is actually see who has found the picture for us. We want to see only the front because of the wedding dress. They're not so modest. But you know the Bible says it is not good for a person to be alone. You know that by the system and therefore Euterpe you have to pray about this and I really believe that that people will do good missionaries if they are both in the lot and they are married. I really believe so should be finished with a word of prayer and then I can open for some questions. Heaven thank you so very much that you have so wonderful plans for each and every one of us and probably know that there are so many unhappy families in this world. Also in the absence of church father we know that this is because we have not followed all these very tough rules. Looks to us as if it is very tough rules but we know that you have only given the best to us. And this is because. One has to be happy and blessed not only for all eternity but also in this world. Father I want to ask in a special way that you will guide to each and every one in this room. You know each person here you know their tendencies you know their weaknesses. Help each and every one to be truly converted so that they will be able to get married and Father I pray that you will guide them in very special way that you will not leave a single one lose a single one of these wonderful young was a priest. This media was brought to you by are you a Web site dedicated to spreading God's word through free sermon audio and much more if you would like to know more about it how do you first go if you would like to listen to more sermon. Leave it there. W W W R to you first.


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