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Courtship Decisions

Phil Mills Sr.

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Phil Mills Sr.

Dermatologist in Northern Georgia

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Recorded

  • November 20, 2004
    10:00 AM
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him has been a blessing to be here and living with my daughter has been when their children are around Catholic married and it's been done right you can't know what Karen feels like it's a every time I think of a Rachel and Eric I'm just delighted with the son-in-law that God is seen through the ad are out to our life and he shared with me something that I thought I should share with you started in sufficient typing errors I don't know why just put it in this afternoon this is from Neil Warren finding the love of your life might be some individuals choose their lifelong partner so poorly because they has received almost no instruction about how to do it well and how the world is supposed to make such a brilliant choice when you have been coached so little so much of the coaching that does exist is outrageously superficial and ultimately destructive for instance Margaret cans nineteen eighty seven best-selling book on American amount of your choice probably boasts this book examines the techniques of manipulation you will learn how to manipulate others and how to prevent others from manipulating you I'm sorry the magnitude of that information here Chad tells women of twenty places will from man how criticisms can make him fall in love with you how to develop their own sales pitch she claims her book will guide you to be altered regardless of their looks surpass your page the most of it is people are writing these books themselves sad to say that of course will this by way of review what we've been looking at we look at last night not despise the wonderful opportunities of a narrative ministry they look at how to recognize God 's timing for courtship sufficient page which the Bible says is approximately busy rules of the apostle and what about twenty years old have clear physical mental and financial abilities and sufficient experience that the person is funny in that mirror that means they're in trouble now those are the minimum since we didn't start as early like that and experience sufficient experience then this morning we look at how to examine the genuineness of our love for God and others if we don't love God and others can be hard for us to unselfishly and genuinely love a spouse Dennis reminds me of the quest that God put me onto study is planned for my life in years ago as a junior medical student for about three months I studied virtually nine day when I wasn't studying medical things I would study what does God say about courtship and marriage and the time I thought I was in the single but we were having a seminar on courtship and marriage what is God say about this and so we are excited to explore in depth and overregulation heritage room here at Loma Linda trying to find the various material in the seminar our seminar would be a biblical it would be based on inspired instruction and I ran across some things that troubles me after I for example she said that generally a position which I was planning the behavior to be married I have my heart set on being single surviving all of the dangers of the marriage is a midlife idea being happily single but it was this instruction that doctors as a general rule should be married was I going to do with it and then there was the restructuring that typically again these are hard and fast broken letters that Sharon was going out trying to find God 's instruction for my life and I ran across the statement that you have nurses or other physicians are I concluded the Prince would be in many cases a health professional makes a day good match for a a physician and so I put this all down and I gave it to the Lord on a altar but I decided to give an instruction that I should contact my parents and my parents can well will notify five thousand value in such a good choice on your own mother that I need your help and I gave him a list of five girls from which to draw and by that time basically what I would need somebody down if it was somebody that I thought might have potential I would say God would you add that one to the list and no so there were five of which there were top-tier and the others so my dad loved databases you know Phyllis is the every one of those to talk to girls was certainly a fine quality but he said the one that I think best matches you usually cited nothing further about it for time and as I share with you the importance of our topic today down if I remember outside of the rest of the story assist our heads and ask the Lord to help us as we study how God wants to guide us in happy homes father in heaven thank you so much for this opportunity to Sharon learned study award some of us are already married we need this instruction to help others whether you place you are others in the situation of being counseled by others dear Jesus please send your spirit that we can understand and correctly apply help us not forget weird ideas rigid thoughts help us to have common sense of the Holy Spirit help us in this study we play in Christ name e-mail I like us to look at the principles of courtship and marriage the dating was come down to Nevada probably don't have time to cover this in this twenty page full of hope therefore the better prepared the end it's it's actually got some cards that we will have time to cover but I put together all of the spirit of prophecy material and courtship and marriage the file actually many many pages and I did one thing in one section of it we won't cover I looked for a I was interested in all the questions that a prophet said to ask about courtship and marriage and so I found there are five questions that a fellow should ask about a perspective husband also found twenty nine not Adam and Steve now so perspective was a bit since Ellen White was a woman she particularly views insights for women there are eighteen questions and woman should ask about the perspective is on those questions are in their home for your meditation no just breathe and think about them meditate on them and find out him those questions answered without answering the five questions reveals without answering the questions for yourself now look at both sides and if you find that helpful they first aspect and when you are of sufficient age and experience is judicious counsel Proverbs eleven fourteen says where no counsel is the people all but in the multitude of counselors there is safety Proverbs twenty eight game every purpose is established by counsel Robert sixteen twenty two without counsel purposes are disappointed letter ninety five eighteen eighty six this concerns your happiness more than any other event of your life and you need counseling and advice here more than on any other point towards the counselor looking chapter you say differentiates the wise and the foolish person Proverbs twelve fifteen the way of a full is right in his own eyes but neither hearken up in the Council 's lies Proverbs nineteen twenty here counsel and receive instruction et al. Mansfield lies in the latter and then of course Matthew seven twenty four therefore whosoever hearing these sayings of mine in June with them I will like amending him him unto a wise man which built his house upon a rock you want to know that diagnostic test for a person who is wise and a person who is otherwise that is counsel the foolish and the lies alone chooses the show the difference in him us how they send it to you so much as a result from marriage why will not be used be wise why will they continue to feel that they do not need the Council of older and more experienced person we can multiply tax on this but don't day and certainly don't merit an individual who despises counselor authority for say a foolish and live going the way of understanding Proverbs nine verse six it also is the distinction between true and false Christian sound seventy three twenty four social guide me with my counsel and afterward receive me to glory letter fifty nine eighteen eighty many who profess eleven fair God choose to follow the bent of their own minds rather than take counsel of infinite wisdom in a manner which vitally concerns the happiness and well-being of both parties for this world and the next reason judgment and the fear of God or set aside in blind impulse stubborn determination is allowed to control I remember watching a young friend of mine back in Hartford days I watch this individual and their parents suggested that they comb their hair and a certain lands person refused to do that this time I watched that and I thought you remember the Holy Spirit impressing right in the enforcement of the time but I can see now was I was impressed that if this young person is like I will probably letter twelve wouldn't listen to his parents and things of the matter him or listen fairness fairness is something the matter language of the marriage and I said Lord remember the spirit assembly I want to listen to my parents in these small things so thou listen to my parents in the area of culture to emerge controversy one twenty five video set at naught all my counsel and would none of my replica here are some practical aspects of counseling the Bible egg whites cancel and reproof as synonyms and why people don't like Council because they don't love her proof as many as I love I like Thai review and Jason or in other words I counsel have we nearly had a highway was right we would need to write SoCal some less common in the form of rebuke and Jason Roberts one thirty they would none of my counsel they despise all of my provision is a reproof in counsel 's online letter to six thirteen is another reason why we disregard counsel is a weight had not for us gathered his run ahead of the Lord home you don't want to interfere with our plans and consequently will be disappointed in their marriage without counsel purposes are disappointed Proverbs fifteen twenty two men in letter fifty ninth United very interesting minute and women who are otherwise sensible and conscientious close their ears so what's another name for counsel referred their death to the appeals and entreaties of friends and kindred and of the servants of God especially caution or warning is regarded as impertinent meddling in the friend who is faithful enough to utter around and screw monstrance is this is how I for dinner life when counseling people on the very important marriage she that she would does say are you coming for my permission are you coming from my advice is to discover that in paying attention to it anyways a lot of fun to make inanimate manuscript releases volume nineteen page nine humility is the constant attendant of true wisdom those who have this appraisal patiently listen to the advice and counsel of others and giving due weight they will not give up their own judgment for another's bit of advice and counsel there the recommendation of Asian experience they will carefully weigh the matter and incorporate into their own expanded into their own experience and mind because they see the force of the Council and advice given now notice this what is the recommendations in the new look of the page in a full array of all this listens of a young counselors and inexperienced people have halfway homes people who have committed children these are the kinds of counselors you want to to have the people who didn't go right they probably still don't get it is wrong you want wise counselors these are the counselors with advice to thoughtfully consider and then incorporate into your life but again you don't just give up your individuality to keep us from major missteps in marriage God has provided three major counselors are very important for us to understand first of all the Bible which gives clear of a general instruction video from the Bible does it say anywhere alright three sixteen thou shalt Mary Sherry Shiraz things of the Bible I got general principles are very important to follow but it was general in the local church which gives more specific directions within our parents who he was very specific advice these are the counselors that God gives us Isaiah thirty verse one mode to the rebellious children says the Lord to take counsel but not of me and no counsel with everybody but these three there are three protective walls are supported by minor but much less reliable buttresses the government which gives marriage license requirements phase vary from state to state providential unfenced doors of opportunity to close and open it in our impressions the still small voice of conscience but softened the groundout by the din of feeling and emotion but these are also counselors letter nine nineteen oh four you have no right to place your affections on any young man without your fathers and your mothers full sanction whatsoever sanctioning a look it up in Webster's it means official approval authorization not just acquiescence this is you have no right to pleasure affections and notices placed parents floral counseling with both father and mother one may say seven or you want both of them full citation him open for forty eight shelf children consult only their own desires and inclinations irrespective of the advice that's counsel and judgment of their parents and then NSF and some seventy five should a son or daughter select a companion without consulting the parents we such as that must look very likely affect the happiness of parents if they have any affection for their children children should that child notwithstanding the counseling entreaties of his parents persist in following his own course I answer decidedly now not if you never marriage so hear you say this is essentially a formality the child should know readily yield to his veterans Council this is honored by father mother to the ten Commandments in the first verse of the consultant is parents for weekday talk to the parents and Chile persistent following our costs course this is not a wishy-washy answer she says I answer what's the next word decidedly now he never matters is a we have a double obligation although all parents should counsel all young people should counsel prepares during courtship if you are blessed with God-fearing parents you have this double obligation to talk to them Luke two fifty one Jesus went back to Nazareth with his parents and what does it say obeyed him who is Jesus he was God editing out more than his parents this is the what is there a way than his faith there were negative heaven am embarrassed for personal file messages administered patient fifty nine if you are blessed with God-fearing parents seeing counsel of them have been some seventy three children or Christians the listing above every earthly blessing the love of approbation of their God fearing parents some years this is an escape clause they seem to think that it says don't counsel with their parents unless they are perfect that sort of course God-fearing parents of the business their parents are perfect there feel justified in not counseling with what is a God-fearing parents there are four aspects of the author and their number-one vacationer children the basics of Christianity Mrs. Council on education page forty seven made it his children and in general he thought upon Christian principles if they are wise and God-fearing parents the Lord God has been respected in her home since teaching in the long haul they then brought up in the nurture and admonition of the gospel as number one number two thousand someday seventy three God-fearing parents of those who pray with them for their children the parents can sympathize with the children and pray for him within the Java field and guide them above everything else that appointments in the never failing friend and counselor number three God fearing parents their greatest concerns for the children salvation God-fearing vessel be more concerned in regard to the characters their children bring home with them from college than in regard to the success of investment made in their studies the first question on God-fearing parent will have his knowledge of grades up the first thing I want investigators have you deteriorated spiritualizing them off at school of the contractor him for a very very is actively involved in determining a child's Associates child guidance patient two hundred Godfrey parents will do will will deliberate and plan as to how to train their children the right habits they will choose companions for their children rather than leave them in their inexperience to choose for themselves Elizabeth if you have got three parents during the double obligation to counsel them if you didn't younger double obligations being one afternoon now we live in a very complicated world some parents do not seem to care with their children Mary some guys even think it's wrong to advise their children in this area gas may not be able to advise their children because they live far away from them and are unable to be acquainted with their potential life partner in the narrow orphans and swirls when we do in these situations making every attempt to find the folder God laid experienced individuals enough both you and the one you think maybe a future marriage partner and then try to establish good communication with the parents by phone or e-mail keeps them fully informed and make sure they approve of what's been done and in some page seventy through with so much misery when so much misery results from marriage why will not use the wise why will they continue to feel that they do not leave the Council of older and more experienced person 's repeated this message is the Google page four fifty three this step which affects seriously for her LDL lifelong blessing or curse is too often taken hastily under the impulse of St. Thomas many will not listen to reason our instruction from her Christian point of view than what if you have ungodly parents who do them the respect and honor them you see their blessing and a quarter new attempt to win them to Christ you avoid their example and disobedience and compromise any and those few instances where your parents really pastor who trust in the Lord to provide for another parent as it does to all his orphans now how do you counsel with your parents we believe they will probably oppose invading plants Samson 's classic counseling method has been used with parents it's tried-and-true and it's worked quite well through the centuries if first you will inform your parents of your plans about asking for their advice on judges fourteen theory came up and told his father and his mother and said I've seen a woman intended of the daughters of the Philistines now therefore get her for me second we prepared for your press to give you advice even when you don't ask for judges fourteen Freeman 's father and his mother said under him is there never a woman among the daughters of my brethren are among all my people and our goal is to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines certainly ignore your parents statues comments and keep the conversation focused on their plans Judges fourteen three and Samson said to his father get her for me for she pleases me well instead of seeking to please God and his God-fearing so please himself this is a seeking God 's way this ought to get his own way but the way that same sort of deal attractive and write to him was the way of death and blindness the authorized without follow sensitively well the refinement of Sampson 's method we have in a house method it's also quite effective in the sorriest details can be found in first Corinthians in first Kings twenty two I can only highlight a few points first begin by relying on many counselors who agree with your position you remember we said in a multitude of counselors or safety Bible says they want counsel so consider this majority view the counsel of the Lord at this stage you should avoid counseling with anyone who might disagree including your folks since it may be premature to gain her counsel and would jeopardize your plant for seasonally two five six Joss fastened in a bikini of Israel is a happy inquire I pray to the Lord of the Lord today and the king of Israel gathered the prophets together about four hundred and seven of them shall I go up against Raymond Killian Valley battle or shall I forbear and basic authentication for the Lord shall deliver it into the Canada King has second assume any counsel contrary to your desires comes from malice directed toward universal aliens from the parents after all they don't understand you're not letting them grow up on versus seven HR says that is or not here father the Lord decides that we might inquire them and the king of Israel jobs that there is yet one man my kind of his son-in-law by whom we may inquire of the Lord I hate him him prophesy good concerning me but evil third have a brother or sister talk to your parents before you go to them for counsel sort of the right and then you understand make sure you have your messenger emphasize how everyone else is so encouraging messages can even exaggerate a little bit about how excited others are about your dating plans drop in a limited church later you can your parents may need to be reminded that they certainly shouldn't be discouraging you in your attempt to follow God in your plans first Kings twenty two thirteen and the messenger that was going to call a pious faith and him saying at all now the words of the prophets declare good under the K-1 now let thy word I pray the real life from now by life the word of one of them has speak that which is good if your parents are still against it when you talk to them get mad and ignore their advice punishment by your attitude meantime will have proven how right you were you can remove the relationship first Kings twenty two eighteen twenty seven the king of Israel said on the jobs that did I not tell me that he would prophesy no good concerning a medieval but this fellow in the prison and feeding with bread of affliction and with water of affliction until I come in peace the problem with these two methods as they may get you your way but there was securing happiness first Kings twenty two thirty five the battle increase that they in the King died on wife said I have the most painful sense of helplessness one part is company for counsel upon the subject MEC the Lord God would have me but they frequently question every point and leave the wisdom of carryout their own purposes and eventually they do so they seem to have no power to overcome their own wishes and inclinations and will narrate at all hazards she was flattered it is young people came to her for advice about marriage she realized they were asking really for her instruction they wanted her permission they wanted it will sell prophecy they were this imagine arguing with a profit the focus we walked our way we want away enough followers of Jesus they do not deny themselves do not consider the matter carefully and prayerfully leaving themselves in the hands of God to be guided and controlled by his spirit they think they understand the matter fully without wisdom from God or Council from the test the underlying problem they think they understand the matter fully when it is your life and find that it made a mistake and have imperiled their happiness in this life and salvation of their souls they would not admit that anyone knew anything about the matter but themselves when if counsel had been received it might have saved themselves here is anxiety and sorrow when advice is always thrown away on those who are determined to have their own way so how do you counsel with your parents ministry zero three fifty nine you go to them you don't force them to come to you you seek their advice you don't demand there from Oakland Havana there are hopes and plans learning the lessons that you their life experiences of Wagner we save me a harder focus in my circle my parents that are wrong they learn from those things him fine the parents I speak as one we give better advice than we left his children to be more familiar with their parents if they would confide in them and unburdened of them their joys and sorrows they would save themselves from many of future heart and I think of Jeremiah forty two where the men of Israel said to Jeremiah watcher Council plays just also whatever this legitimizes the envelope write about it come back in ten days okay what God is foamy head became back in ten days of your library from the account 's counsel which was review Council review remember anything that's not counsel from God that was so your secretary did that and their pretenses they wanted counsel is proven to be just that prevents if you go to your parents this want your advice and then you don't follow achieving really want your advice when you are asking the advice of your parents are really asking for their advice when perplexed to know what courses write letter and let them lay the matter just as they do it before their parents and ask advice of them who are so well calculated to point out their dangers is godly parents who can understand their peculiar temperament so well as they do want to consider everything that your parents don't give one argument now the information you need to gain from your parents are four questions the first is in my ready center marriage is first question I asked my dad is a good thing unwise at this time the only is this the time that I should start looking around the God of heaven look around for life now the Bible nowhere approves the concept of dating around if you're not completely prepared to consider marriage you are unprepared today dating around is not preparation for marriage is preparation for divorce preparation for marriage is gained by faithfulness in the little things in the home if your parents cannot feel you are prepared for marriage but also at the courtship out of your mind and wait for God 's time ask them if they if they are whether you're ready or not what areas of character need improvement before they could recommend me as a lifestyle of could I recommend my youngest daughter is a life 's partner at age fifty no not ready and I couldn't recommend I want to be able to give her excellent recommendations someday thirty five forty and how you get good recommendations in school you perform while there though when she is performing well should get a good recommendation from the ashes performing well for fifteen -year-old dumbness understand but tell she's not performing at the level of fifteen is at the level you need to perform of course if you understand my point I very do your parents have any suggestions as to a person they would like to become better land with planning why that person what are the qualities they say that would make them think this would be good what did they think about your ideas for possible person to become better acquainted with a larger list of files why not have that information Jeremiah thirty four Wilt thou not from this time try enemy my father thou art the guide of my sewer you seek counsel of God and all these things be so calm so submissive to the will of God that you will not be in a theory of excitement and qualify for his service by your attachments is not only do it once a counsel with our parents but our chief parent our heavenly father we must learn how the counselor and other people better unhappy there angry with God because of their circumstances in life my office manager home her father who loved her very much and I she was thirteen and then her I should say her mother died and she was the thirteenth and her father remarried in the stepmother the student wiped my office and in her real father died in a data center things that mounted by confusion of the conversation of father stepmother anyway her father died she was seventeen and her stepmother 's Dover Idaho one zero one she became better with God over this and Sasha Prichard Council with God would allow homeless him him a letter written to an orphaned boy 2K three oh eight you've been placed in unfavorable circumstances for the development of a good Christian character there are circumstances that are favorable and unfavorable but if we read that as I believe how God wants us even in unfavorable circumstances God places us here because he wants to develop a good Christian character Ennis and we can see this is black I've been placed in this unfavorable circumstances for the development of a Christian character the circumstances are unfavorable or we can hear as I believe is that God wants us these unfavorable circumstances are really what God wants to use to develop sound Christian character on my mother who was divorced years ago before it was and Shelia had as a single parent there in the nineteen forties she she heard about the administration should thought it was probably right she went to the minister there century put on as much jewelry as strict codes of the notion was anonymous maybe somebody would invite her home dinner nobody ever did for nine years she was not a Seventh-day Adventist is nobody invited nobody paid internship to try to know what else to do while I because he knew that Sunday should be a minister 's wife him a him her experience some bitter as it was gone turning beauty and there wasn't anybody that came to our church they didn't get an invitation though our home for lunch if they look slightly lonely if there was anything she was looking for people that nine years her wonderful important lessons home C Young lovers if men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplated marriage they should pray for times a day with such a step is anticipated a sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course advantages to ask what is right what is wrong how mind they are just fulfilled life 's purpose now study his word reflected the various things of the Bible is needed is a counselor does before taking a step advised verses together for a lifetime we study God 's word there some specific areas that are in your home handout the study and meditate on many many areas scientists if you book of Proverbs is filled with instruction in all kinds of different stories and we have in fact what you find is a story that your reading the Bible any part of it ask what does this have to do with courtship and marriage will discover originally cited that of course is the additional life in the spirit of prophecy only give you a sake a suppressed constructionist recently a Christian young man went to the section on courtship in Adventist home him rewording sentences in the personal questions any made up almost two hundred and fifty questions does the last session for himself answer after it work through these questions he then started dating a prospective wife and they went through this through them together on the Stanton sent me a study sheet and with his permission of the show you how it works incidentally that was my now my son-in-law is take out quotation here the Symbian 's home page sixty one making a professor love and fear God choose to follow the bent of their own minds rather than take counsel of infinite wisdom retirement counsel hit in a matter which vitally concerns the happiness and well-being of both parties for this world and the next reason judgment and the fear of God are set aside in a blind impulse stubborn determination are allowed to control nondeterminism the questions many questions and some of my less lucrative than hereto that they found in my following the end of my own mind were seeking infinite wisdom after they threw what is the name to follow the bent of the online exercise study anyone in my following reason judgment and the fear of God are flying involves stubborn determination that's how you think the century now let's get specific about the courtship process love is a sentiment so sacred that must view know what it is it is a term used but not understood the warm glow of involves the fascination of one young person for another is not love it is not deserve the name true love as an insular will basis that the overall knowledge of the object love with this catching up with objects in the story on them the thoughts and affections is without reason without judgment and is excessive temporary essential now if your ideas of marriage are they realistic on a romantic on a based on real-life barley based on Hollywood this is important because the ideas of courtship have their foundation in erroneous ideas marriage down now is important to remember courtship is not based on love marriage is courtship is just to find out whether this is somebody that you could left ideally before selecting an individual the court you would become well acquainted with the family this idea may not always become impossible in our mobile society so how do we look for a life 's partner the first thing is to consider family and culture family influences are very very important the scoundrels are found in the best and most godly families in true jams are found in the worst situations the family exerts a powerful influence on the job Abraham understood the importance of the family history and while he was unable to select the individual the shows that Hanoi select what you did is a selecting the family the girl would come from an incentive trusted servant to choose the life they took an oath to his servant would select a wife from that family along Isaac understood this nature was unable to select the wife for Jacob so we raced him and called Jacob and blessed him and charged him and said Andrew Young thou shall not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan none of these Canaanite checks arise go to fit that in and around the house of death or life mother 's father and take the wife from thence of the daughters of Laban by mother 's brother God intended for Jacob to seek a godly seed Malachi three fifteen is parting blessing as Jacob left to choose a life Isaac God Almighty bless thee and make you fruitful and multiply the that thou may has been a multitude of people and give you the blessing of Abraham David and to thy seed and when they came tomorrow be the Old Testament is very explicit in the importance of family life and your harm was Sando walked in the ways of the kings of Israel like is that the house of Ahab for the other daughter of Ahab 's life and less individuals are fully converted they will be like their family maybe worse than all of us have various sinful ancestral lines we just do and we must not close our eyes to the profound influence that our culture has made upon us our genetics our environment and thankfully the gospel can change the individual solely and completely also made sure true Christians even Caesar's violent household to full surrender to the mighty power of Christ by watchfulness and prayer over time are inherited and cultivated weaknesses can actually become the air is our greatest strength so if you him from a family with a generational immorality dishonestly intemperance determined by God 's grace to completely break with the ungodly line and establish a new guideline like Abraham this may require separation and isolation guy Hawaii from his kindred do not repeat the mistakes your parents and made the Germans invade and Mary only one who is completely committed to Christ carefully study is a delightfully in Ezekiel thirty three if you come from a godly family determined by God 's grace to continue the godly line with your choice of a godly life spark and it was roof she was a mall I'd is from a culture of idolatry assessor mall I was a child born in drunkenness incestuous fornication but she responded to the appeals of the gospel left her past and her kindred she passed to the waters of the Oregon River illustrating baptism and she was one of only three women honored to be named in the list of Jesus ancestors when she left it powered outlook for a perfect family we look for similar culture you remember in the children of Israel they were married from their own tribes believe I was very the tribe of Levi and Judah I was an area of the tribe of Judah this instruction should the healthful class two families are to be brought in letter fifty nine eighteen eighty look to the family history this is still a white instruction to families are to be brought into close and sacred connection perfection in all these relations is not of course to be expected when you would make a most cruel mode scenario girl whose ancestry and relatives would be great more far you were captured the slightly northern interest instruction now that he is in the University of Texas home was ahead researcher of the repair project that we previously mentioned this prospective study of a hundred and sixty eight couples confirms what six what experience suggests their courtship gives clues another marriage women who says future problems while they are according generally find out after they are married that their concern was well-founded couples who are particularly physical while dating are likely to divorce remember when I was praying and thinking through these things Sherry was the first person that I have no little about half the time but others were good girls but just because it's a girl good girl doesn't mean that it's my wasn't for me and the Scripture says the ten Commandments as thou shalt not commit adultery adultery means to give to somebody that's which was reserved for one in adultery can take place not simply after marriage but a person can give to another what is really deserved for one person I justify my physical here given your heart given your love you want to reserve for your future spouse what is for the future spouse and him allowing visitors to your spouse don't give from your heart so if you have these questions if you have counselors in your account of the charges not related in favor of these are important for all aspects whether America will be happier whether it is headed for the divorce court can be told from how things go during its first two years those who divorce soon were involved in trouble questions if you have trouble in a courtship relationship and are just really lots fishers native into your delight once better find it out then courtship remember while I was stating Sharon home before I dated her I called up my perspective when I wanted to know that she say yes I have to say that so I got sort of a talk to you sister in the sister was very careful shouldn't breathe a word to Sharon but I have found out it was so is this free security to the probably okay if I talk to the parents only when thick and strange so I called up shows and I got permission somewhat reluctantly to a defined daughter have been reluctant to Philemon it's a risk investing this was the best I remember as we started dating home him a him my goal was to see whether or not there was anything that God would have suffered it to us I wanted to know that before we were married not after I want to be possessive for sure if she was going to find somebody better than me I'd rather find it now photograph so I I encouraged her to assure the one someone else after that I want her to be satisfied in her mind you don't want to be fearful that something or somebody is going to interfere with the plans if this is God 's plan is to go forward thoughtfully reverently on your knees the best predictor of the future is the past the thing that hath been it is that which shall they saw this if you have trouble courtship its predictive notice review and Herald nine twenty five eighteen eighty eight they are married because passion move them in the novelty of airfares over they will begin to realize what they've done in six months after the vows are spoken sentiments toward each other have undergone a change agent learning married life more of the character of the convention is each discovers imperfections the hearing on blindness and folly of the former Association or not will discover that the floor after the promises of the alternate bind them together in consequence of hasty marriage even among the professed people of God there separate courses in great confusion of church immature but what are some gorgeous rafts as I said before the first day parents or other experience God the counselor should fully approve the young man should make a firm decision not to ask a young woman for a day until he has permission from her parents Oregon authorities a nauseous feeling well a young lady and this is not politically correct but it is the truth nonetheless is under the protection of her godly authorities just the fact and you need permission before you can do convey a young lady should make a firm decision never to accept any special attention from a manner any days until all permission has been given now have a range of this quotation I'm going to reread it because I want to see the context and remember to read the next location which is really interesting you feel it is time for you to think and act for yourself I'm a young man no longer a child I'm capable of discriminating between my rock I have writes in I will stand for them capable of forming my own plans of action who has authority to interfere with me this is in some of your thoughts and you are encouraged in them by youth who are about your age you feel that you may assert your liver to act like a man of his feelings and thoughts leave the wrong actions you have not a submissive spirit wise is that young man and highly blessed who feels it to be his duty as it has parents to look after them and if it has not regards as guardian or those with whom he lives as counselors as comforters and in some respects as his rulers him allows the restraints of his home provider for his popular now but it's nonetheless true and I'm not telling you that God is just that last night this is when I read things like this this is for me like discovering the loss destruction and genocide in an attempt independence of one kind is praiseworthy the desire to bury her own weight and not to eat the bread of idleness of dependence is right it is a noble generous ambition and that dictates the wish to be self-supporting industrious habits and frugality are necessary the young man who enjoys the society anyways the friendship of a young lady on the nose your parents is not after noble court-ordered for her parents I cannot see well let me tell you this is an interesting story while efforts to obtain sympathy from others on parental approval is not given is for the LMI was in Europe it should receive a letter from home they asked for her advice on courtship although he was really only seeking her sympathy and permission causes upset that he had received a letter from his girlfriend 's father advising him to abandon a further courtship with his daughter always felt the father 's leather was neither time nor reasonable times and shared his frustration with others in the church had been given since the LMI responded to his letter plainly an excerpt only can be given here I cannot say anything unkind or unreasonable a letter of brother of polyamine are to the enemy has perverted this matter I see his letter only that which is consistent for a father to write when the interest and happiness of his daughters her daughter are concerned him a him instrumental in making this matter known quite a number and as her feelings for brother these have not been as they should then and has sung in the Church of unwisely given you their sympathy and support this matters become quite serious demands careful sedating practices at other dating practices we saw seeking seventy now let's look at forsaking the assembling of ourselves together and mentioned this before some people sing as they start dating this affair from society no cremated I can count on them for anything examine your church involvement definition infatuation you can repeatedly turned from a prayer meeting where God needs of his people in order to enjoy the society of one who has no love for God and this is no attraction and religious life how can you expect God to prosper messages you for fifty seven dating practices night after night is young people burn the midnight oil to talk with each other that before in reference the subject is serious and solemn interest on all rather frivolous things that are of no importance whether losing sleep over something as trivial and then you must mention this dating unbelievers do not enable you together with unbelievers there is no topic in the Bible more explicit and Republican dating and marrying nonbelievers it was this crime and ultimately brought the destruction of the world by flood they brought repeated judgments of God our ancient Israel and was the subject of unsparing review the number in the New Testament we see what Paul said about it him herself Mrs. Young people for forty will not an unbelieving husband me my thoughts away from Jesus he is a lover of pleasure more than a lover of God willing that lead me to enjoy the things that he enjoys the path to eternal life is Stephen Rider take no additional waves to retard the progress to connect with an unbeliever is the place yourself on Satan 's ground you grieve the Spirit of God for his protection can you afford to have such a terrible citizen fighting for the battle for everlasting life I'm going to skip down now all the excuses you can read them after then there great people in there except for being out and non-Christians what should you do if you are dating I want to give you this in closing but on every Christian to do when brought into the prime position which test the soundness religious principle is there summative started gotten trapped invading somebody who is not a video question with firmness worthy of imitation you should say frankly I am a conscientious Christian I believe the seventh day of the week could be the Sabbath of the Bible our faith and principles are such that they lead in opposite directions we cannot be happy together for five follow-on to gain a more perfect knowledge of the will of God I shall become more and more unlike the world and assimilated to the likeness of Christ if you continue to see her loveliness and Christ no attractions in the truth you will love the world which I cannot love well I shall love the things of God which you cannot love without spiritual discernment you will be unable to see the claims of God upon me or to realize my obligation to the master whom I serve therefore you will feel that I neglect you for religious duties shall not be happy to be also this section return here for God and I shall be alone in my religious beliefs when you have usual change when your heart shall respond to the claims of God initial learned to love my Savior that our relationship may be rendered I like to ask for a commitment those of you were single would you say our heads in which you by showing your hands saved by the grace of God I won't date or marry only an active Christian with a thoroughly established talent and daily devotions and prayer in church and father you seen these hands Lord we want to guide us here at home so liable to make mistakes help us to trust in your way to we thank you for this time to study 's things together in Christ name and in how don't rush here now in marriage half one study of the seller does not appear almost as large as the sheriff with that those whose cartridges run and have less happy marriages and can't wait for the love

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