God wants to be in a committed marriage relationship with each and every of his children, but some of them would rather just shack up.

<p>God wants to be in a committed marriage relationship with each and every of his children, but some of them would rather just shack up.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

The Nicodemus Society

David Kim

Shacking Up

The young man and the young woman had been dating for some time, maybe 6 months or so, and it was like a fairy tale.

He was tall, 6'2", not too tall, not 1 of those gangly spaghetti-armed people, but well-proportioned and chiseled.

He had a strong chin with the perfect dimple, And he had that perfect three-day stubble.

That 1 that so many young men work so hard to cultivate these days.

He was always dressed impeccably, as if out of the pages of GQ magazine.

And although he was relatively early in his career, he was very promising at work.

He was getting the promotions and the projects and the advancement.

And he lived right in the heart of the city, Manhattan, where he enjoyed his life of youth and strength and vitality and potential.

And of course there was a young lady, she was beautiful.

She had beautiful hair, She was a brunette, beautiful hair, straight out of a Pantene commercial.

Even if you looked just at the right angle, with the right light, You could see those little golden beads of protein and vitamin E just coming off of her locks.

And she was very smart, very smart, and she was saving the world.

She worked at a very well-known, prestigious, non-profit organization where she was involved in important projects that could change lives.

And she also lived in the heart of the city.

And they had been dating for about 6 months, and things were getting more serious and more serious.

And this evening they were at 1 of the fine restaurants, 1 that you might look on Yelp and see a rating of 4.7.

It was their 6 month anniversary since they had first met.

And they knew it was getting more serious, but they didn't realize quite how serious, or at least she did not realize quite how serious, until after the main course and just before the dessert, he looked deeply into her eyes, deeply into her eyes, and he popped the question.

He said, He said, will you move in with me?

Now that may not have been the question that some of you are expecting.

In fact, I hope you weren't expecting that question.

I was certainly surprised when I was looking at some of the data about cohabitation, which is a fancy way of saying shacking up.

Cohabitation, shacking up, moving in with someone who is not your spouse, has increased over the last 50 years by over 1, 500 percent.

Back in 1960, according to the Census Bureau, there were approximately 450, 000 people who were living together out of wedlock.

As of 2012, that number had increased to nearly 8 million, Nearly 8 million people.

Yet I was surprised when I looked at this data.

Another survey asked women, asked women between the ages of 15 and 44, how many of them had lived with a man outside of wedlock and that percentage was 75%.

In other words, of the women in our society between the ages of 15 and 24, at 44, excuse me, 15 and 44, 3 quarters of them had lived with a man outside of wedlock.

I mean, I knew it was out there, but I didn't realize the number would be 75%.

And you can also see it with the out of wedlock birth percentage.

Because now many of these couples, They're not merely living together, but they're having children out of wedlock.

And so the percentage of babies born out of wedlock, most recently studied, is over 40%.

That's nearly half of the children born into this country are outside of holy matrimony.

So this is not a niche boutique practice.

This is not merely some hippies living out on a commune somewhere.

In fact, you could argue that those of us, and I pray that you count yourself of this number, that those of us who look at this and think, what is this world coming to?

Why this adoption of this practice of moving in and not being married?

Well, in the literature that I reviewed in preparing this sermon, I saw a number of reasons.

For many, they articulated it as a first step towards marriage.

Many, many young people, and older people frankly, they would express this idea that they've been dating for a while, they're pretty serious, they're not quite sure whether they want to go all the way and be committed in holy matrimony.

And so they say, let's take an interim step and let's move in together.

Some will say that this is how you get to know people at that next level.

Some will say that, well, it's economically more sensible.

And for many, this seems to be a compelling idea.

There's also an incremental relationship development argument.

1 more step towards marriage before making the big commitment.

And they say, I want to know if we can really get along.

I want to know if we can really be together and make that commitment.

1 woman who was interviewed for an article on this topic said that she felt, well, I'll say it from her point of view because that was what the quotation was, she said, I felt like I was on this multi-year, never-ending audition to be his wife.

Some say they want to move in rather than get married because they think it will be easier in the event of divorce.

That If they get married and then they get divorced, wow, there's lawyers involved, there's money involved, there's kids involved and all these things, it would be much easier if all we had to do was move out.

Now the reality is that it is getting increasingly complicated to move out.

I have a friend at work who I didn't know that he was not married.

Because he would talk about his significant other, who I presume to be his wife.

And then I find out 1 day that he and his partner have broken up.

And I thought to myself, what do you mean you broke up?

And he says to me, no, we were never married.

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Shacking Up

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