Michigan Camp Meeting 2016: The Harvest is Great

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Michigan Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

Coaching and Cooking Skills

Evelyn Kissinger

JoAnn Rachor

1. Coaching- What Is It and Why Do It

And we are, we have a special presentation for you to help with the outreach that you have when you're doing health programs, unlock revelation, were you asked to have refreshments at your unlock revelation?

We heard that a lot of people were asked to do that and there were some challenges that people were having in knowing how to make all this happen.

Madeline, would you come up here with me?

She did, She was in charge with another lady to do the refreshment table and we were very, very impressed with what she and her friend did and asked her if she would come and share with us what, If you'll step right over here so you're out of the light there.

If she would share with us some of the secrets in doing the presentations.

Okay, so Madeline, where is it that you live?

I live in Brooklyn, Michigan and we go to the Jackson Church.

I live in Brooklyn, Michigan and go to the Jackson Church.

Okay, and you have been a part of sharing like cooking seminars and health programs in your community?

And she has quite the art of bringing the right people together to put together a very beautiful display and beautiful programs to present a very wonderful health message.

So tell us what you have on the table today.

What I have on the table today is just something very, very simple.

That sounds like a lot of money, but he assigned us to make refreshments every night and I nearly choked because I thought, my goodness how am I going to do that?

Anyway, we just took items from our kitchen.

We have a potluck room and we have a lady who changes the tables every other month and So we just took items right out of that.

We didn't spend any money for decorations.

And Janet, Alan, and I got together and we developed a very simple, simple menu for 30 nights.

We wanted to go inexpensive, inexpensive, inexpensive, and easy, easy, easy.

Well, I don't know if it's all that beautiful.

But we did not want to use utensils at all.

We didn't want to have people, you know, using knives, forks, and spoons.

Everything was smaller portions because we had Vicki critiquing everything.

And so we made sure that everything was very healthy and we did buy some things like we bought that skinny pop.

People loved the popcorn, and we bought packaged nuts and things like that.

So we were able to stay within our budget.

You have a handout of this, these Winsome recipes.

And so on the table every night, what did you have?

Okay, now I was, I didn't answer your question, did I?

Okay, every night we had a fruit bowl, a fresh fruit bowl.

We had apples, oranges, those little tiny tangerines.

We had grapes and bananas, and people loved the bananas.

That was the thing they always wanted more than anything else.

We always had a tea of the day, and I'm sorry I forgot my teapot to bring to you, but we got 1 of those vacuum pump teas where we made it ahead of time and people could just, you know, pump out their own tea.

Then we had water, and we had bottled water.

Well it's a water where you put something in the water to make it have a little bit of a flavor.

So today we have mint in there from my garden.

So and the people love the mint but we'll you'll see tomorrow We'll have something else like we have lemons, limes, strawberries, blueberries.

If they wanted tea, they could make their own tea.

And then each night you had a featured item and so on the handout there is a 1 through 24 that names what the item was for that particular night.

Right, and we used Vicki's oat burger recipe because she said her son Anthony loves those.

I'm not a real fan of homemade burgers, but this burger is delicious.

We served it on a wheat bun, like a slider bun.

And that would be like a whole wheat roll.

Mini sandwich, another favorite was garbanzo spread.

Okay, and you would also serve those on just small dinner rolls, and some people call them sliders.

Okay, so, and you would buy the popcorn that was already popped, and sometimes you would get things from Gordon's, like hummus.

Yes, we had hummus and pita chips 1 night, and sometimes we would duplicate what we'd have the week before.

We just couldn't come up with really 30 different things, so we would have like 2 nights we had granola, and I think 2 nights we had the trail mix.

Okay, and so you included some of the recipes that you enjoyed there.

2. Listening- Using Discernment and Discovery to Create Hope

Well, welcome to our session 2 on coaching.

And today our topic is on listening and appreciative inquiry.

But first we wanted to hear a little bit about your homework assignment.

And this is something that we talked about yesterday, that the more you do it, the easier it gets.

It's kind of learning a new style and for some it felt like putting tape over the mouth to actually listen to another person, but it does become easier and easier, and I think that you will see as you experience coaching that you reach people heart to heart.

Madeline Hamlin has designed a beautiful display that I hope that you saw as you came in today.

This is a very winsome way to do a refreshment table.

This was the Jackson Church during the Unlocked Revelation.

They had this display and served these foods.

If you did not receive a handout yesterday and you would like 1, we need you to sign the clipboard in the back and we can email you 1.

I think that we used up all the ones that we had yesterday.

Madeline right now is passing out 1 of the samples that is used 1 of the evenings.

And it, do you remember what it's called, Vicki?

Okay, and this is 1 of the favorites, is these energy bars.

And every evening on the table, she would provide some kind of an infused water.

And then a hot drink, some hot herb tea, and whole fresh fruit, and then maybe 1 or 2 other small items.

So we hope that that gives you some ideas of what you can do with a refreshment table.

Okay, the next thing that we are doing is Vicki has a devotional for us before we get into our topic tonight on listening.

DeRosa's session last time we're blessed by that now we're learning how to communicate These things to help people achieve long-term success It's like Jackie Gleason said the second day of a diet is the best because by then you're done with it So we don't have any problem.

We don't have any problem convincing people of things, but long-term success is a whole different matter, isn't it?

And there's just a combination of physical, mental, spiritual resources that that person needs to pull together to be able to move forward.

And so I'm going to have a short devotional with you to just share a couple of thoughts as we open today.

Father in heaven, thank you for this wonderful time.

You are all about relationship and communication and truth.

You are the God of truth and you have promised your children wisdom.

And that is what we are asking for today.

Because when we learn how to listen and work with others, we are becoming more self-forgetful and we can be used powerfully by you.

And so I pray that you'd work with each of us.

You know what we need to shore up and what needs to be dialed down.

So we just pray that that beautiful sculpting work of your spirit will be operational in each heart today.

So the Bible says, I love this, in Proverbs 25, verse 11, it says, a word fitly spoken, fitly spoken, an appropriate word is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

Now the word coaching, as Evelyn said this afternoon, coaching is not being an expert role.

In the expert role, that's already happened, you've already had a program, and now people are motivated, they're inspired, they're educated, Now they want to move forward.

Some folks have been afraid of the word coaching because there is a whole secular variety out there that is infused with spiritualistic and new age chrome that we obviously do not want to have any part of as Christians, amen?

But are there principles that are biblical of communication that we need to know?

And if they are biblical, then they are truth and they belong to God, just like the rainbow belongs to God.

So do these beautiful communication principles belong to God, amen?

So what I'm going to do in my short presentation this afternoon is I want to address Christian versus secular coaching.

There are many differences between Christian and secular coaching programs.

But the primary difference is the underlying foundation.

Secular coaching is humanistic and it relies on the clients self-imposed or self-described goals.

Within Christian coaching, there is a three-way relationship between client, coach, and Holy Spirit, amen?

Secular coaching involves a two-way relationship between coach and client.

Many Christians have found it frustrating to work with secular programs because of the high infiltration of new age philosophies.

You will not find those philosophies in our Christian coaching program this week.

And if you detect any of those fleas, please come and tell us and we will eradicate them.

A Christian coach will come alongside of others to help them find God's plan for moving forward in identified areas of challenge or improvement.

Is that something that you've ever had happen in your life?

Have you ever had a Christian friend or pastor help you identify and set a goal for some area of progress that you want to make in your life?

A Christian coach will help their client learn to apply the relevant truths that are relevant to their situation, their life, their circumstance.

I don't want to teach someone how to be a speaker if their life work is librarian So, you know what's relevant to them?

So Learn to apply the relevant truths of mental physical and spiritual health to their current everyday life Situations Are they isolated?

Do they make time with people or away from people?

Do they eat, you know, what is their diet?

Are they in the inner city and they need to find access to vegetables?

What are the challenges that each person faces?

And We want to help them cultivate the presence of God the presence of God as their source of strength Encouragement and wisdom in all endeavors in life, amen?

I wanna share a statement, 2 statements from our high calling.

And I think it's so beautiful, and I want this to be so real in my own life so that I can be that example to those that are with me.

I have to work very hard at leaving all of my thoughts and instructions at the door when I'm sitting listening with someone.

Some people do this very easily, it's very natural for them.

For others, it really is a discipline, but it's a good discipline, don't you think?

With eternal realities in view, we will habitually cultivate thoughts of the presence of God.

That's what I call an attitudinal discipline, an attitudinal discipline.

We're operating from what we know and not what we feel.

And so we have nuclear power under our noses.

And I want to inspire people with the same hope that God inspires me with when I'm in his word.

This will be a shield against the incoming of the enemy.

3. Questioning- Drawing People and Defining Goals

Father in Heaven, as we spend just a few moments thinking about you and your wonderful plan for our lives, And your great, great love for us.

And we want to be better servants of yours.

And that's why we're here in this class, is to find ways to develop our strengths that you've given to each 1 of us and to develop areas that we aren't as strong in so that we can be better able to help others.

And so bless us this time we pray for Jesus' sake.

Okay, so I have these cards that I carry from time to time.

When I take my walks, I call my walks my sabbatical.

And so 1 of the things I do is carry my scripture cards.

And so this 1, I was looking at this this morning, it's Proverbs 20, verse 5, and it says, "'The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.

And to me, this is a perfect verse for somebody that's a coach or learning skills to increase communication with people, to help other people.

And so, first of all, the purposes of a man's heart are deep waters.

That means this is something, you know, It's not just surface, right?

It's something deep inside, something very meaningful, maybe even something that they're not even aware of, haven't really consciously thought about, but it's in there.

And so then it says, but a man of understanding draws them out.

And this is so interesting because the modern education, the word education, the word to be an educator, that's the modern definition of drawing someone out.

If you are an educator, your role as a skillful educator is to draw out from somebody.

It's not just to stand up here for the next hour and tell you, you know?

And So you are asking those powerful open-ended questions so that you can help somebody to think what's deep inside of them.

And What happens when somebody asks you, and I'm asking you this question, what happens when somebody asks you 1 of those powerful questions and you become aware of something that maybe you hadn't really thought very much about.

You think before you speak, because they really want an answer.

Finding out sometimes it's like, you know, I really don't.

Yeah, so when somebody asks you 1 of those powerful questions, you're thinking.

What kind of powerful question are you talking about?

Well, any kind, when you're trying to, maybe when you're getting to know somebody, for example, better.

Or when you feel like you're, you know, as an educator, maybe you know something that would be helpful to them, that, you know, let's say they're not exercising, for example, You know, just something to take that out.

And so would you want to say to them, you know, you really should be out there taking a walk.

You really should be out there exercising.

She was saying, what happens when they ask you a powerful question, I'm asking what kind of powerful question.

And so really, our goal is to ask those good questions so that we can help to draw from somebody.

To me, when somebody asks a really good question, it draws out what's important to me.

These things are coming out when somebody asks me a really good question.

And I think that the word understanding, a man of understanding draws them out.

1 of the character strengths that we talked about yesterday or was on your list is wisdom.

And so I think wisdom is a character strength.

I think to have understanding is a character strength.

If we want to have more wisdom or understanding in working with people, helping people, That's a skill that we can develop more of.

But when people have more understanding about themselves, a friend of mine was saying how that she would come home from work and just automatically turn toward the direction of the kitchen.

And then she started asking herself, why do I turn that, because it was not a good time of the day to be turning that direction.

I mean, you know, sometimes that's a good thing to do, you know, go home and fix supper or whatever.

But for her, that wasn't the best direction.

And so she was thinking about, why don't I turn another direction in the house, something that I can do for myself that would be a better choice rather than to just go and maybe meet, you know, a habit or maybe a way to relieve stress.

Yeah, there's a lot of good ways, isn't there, to help relieve that stress.

And so now we're going to go on into our...

Okay, we're going to do a little bit of review of what is coaching?

Somebody give me a definition of what you've been learning, of what is coaching.

Helps people just from where they are to where they want to be.

The word coach comes from stage coach, of moving somebody from where they are to where they want to go.

And there's coaches in all kinds of different areas, but we're talking about coaching in the form of listening and helping people move through conversation.

Intentional listening, and what does that mean to you?

Trying to understand, trying to understand the feelings, the things that really aren't said.

Sometimes we want to understand those as well.

That's what you were going to say okay another quality about being a coach yes comfortable to express to talk have empathy what is empathy walking in somebody else's moccasins right in their in their shoes and trying to understand their feelings instead of focusing on my feelings.

Yeah, that's what we were – we've talked a lot about that.

As far as When somebody says, oh, I've had this happen to me, and our instinct is to say, oh, yeah, when I was blah, blah, blah, that happened to me, too.

But keeping our focus on the other person.

In a conversation we typically want to, somebody says, you know, I had this, my daughter-in-laws have been pregnant and they come back and they tell you, you wouldn't believe all the stories that people tell me, you know, all you have to do is say, I've been pregnant and then all the women tell all the pregnancy stories.

You know, and you just hear whenever it is expressed, we have a story that goes with it.

And so being a good coach is holding back on your story and listening to their story.

4. Doing- Moving From Desire to Determination

Father in heaven, as we spend this time together, we pray for your Holy Spirit to please be with us, to teach us.

You know the areas that each 1 of us need to learn more about, to make ourselves more effective servants of yours, to help us to be more optimal in our lifestyles.

We pray for your help, your wisdom, your guidance.

We thank you that this is your will for each 1 of us.

So as we have been talking about coaching, 1 of the aspects we talked about was building on strengths.

And so as Joanne so sweetly has shared again that when I realize that I have a positive strength, I start to build on that and that produces the desire to strengthen myself in this area which makes me stronger in other areas, and that helps me to be more passionate about life and to reach goals.

So this is part of what we've called the appreciative inquiry, to find out, to help people discover and appreciate that God-given characteristic that they have.

Okay, we have a couple new people here, so if you all would help me to explain what is coaching?

Would somebody just shout out what coaching is all about?

Moving from where we are to where we want to go.

It's not about solving the problems of the past, but it's about saying here's where I am and this is where I want to go.

So 1 of the qualities of being a good coach is intentional listening.

Paying attention to what the other people are saying.

Paying good attention to what the other person is saying.

But intentional listening is also looking at what a person is not saying.

We're thinking about what we know about this person.

And so that we're looking at a deeper picture here.

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Series

Coaching and Cooking Skills

1. Coaching- What Is It and Why Do It

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Parts

1. Coaching- What Is It and Why Do It

1h 5m

2. Listening- Using Discernment and Discovery to Create Hope

57m

3. Questioning- Drawing People and Defining Goals

1h

4. Doing- Moving From Desire to Determination

51m

5. Transforming- The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection in Whole Person Health

1h 7m

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