Love in the Making 2019

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Proverbs 365 Ministries

April Nixon

John Nixon II

The Anatomy of a Relationship

We dated for about 3 and a half years and then we, thank you very much, and then we got married and we have 2 children.

And we're in love and we like each other.

We spent 18 years in the South Atlantic Conference in several different states, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia.

And we were called to Tacoma Park about 10 months ago.

We accepted a call about 10 months ago, so we've been here that short of a period of time.

April's an elementary school teacher, like middle school I guess.

Anyway, so this session is about the anatomy of a Christian relationship and we're kind of talking about I guess going from maybe friendship to courtship, how that would look?

The first thing that we think is important to understand before we even get into the actual topic is that every relationship that has a chance of really working long term has to find its foundation in Jesus Christ.

Which means that if you are trying, if you are attempting, attempting through a relationship to find ultimate fulfillment, you're really barking up the wrong tree.

It's not possible for another human being to fulfill you ultimately.

I use that word on purpose, because April and I do find fulfillment in our relationship with each other.

April does fulfill me, and I think I fulfill her, right?

We fulfill each other in ways that before we were with each other, we didn't find.

But that's not the same as saying that April fulfills me ultimately.

My ultimate fulfillment is found in Jesus Christ.

So that is to say that it's possible for you to feel fulfilled as a single person.

And you should be searching out, you should be striving to achieve that now.

But the only way to get that is by a relationship with Jesus Christ.

So we have to start with that as sort of a, not a preamble, what's the thing you have to accept before you do anything else?

A disclaimer, not to add to something else.

We're starting off with this presupposition is what I want to say.

Our presupposition is that this session is not about finding ultimate fulfillment in another human being.

This session is about starting with the idea that we find our fulfillment in God.

And then we can find a significant other and find lower levels of fulfillment.

There is other fulfillment you can find through that, but we're not searching for that in a human being.

And if we do it that way, I think we can actually be successful in our relationships.

So we call this the anatomy of, we don't have it, this is culture to marriage.

We're titling this the anatomy of Christian relationship.

And what we wanted to do to sort of illustrate that is to come up with 5 body parts that we feel help to illustrate what a Christian relationship should look like.

So I'm gonna tell you the 5 body parts now.

In a normal situation, you'd see it on the screen, but for some reason it's not on here because we switched to the laptop.

So I'm gonna tell you what the 5 body parts are now if you want to jot them down.

The brain, ears, mouth, heart, and hands.

Those are the 5 we're trying to use to illustrate what a healthy Christian relationship should look like.

And if you are searching for a person, a significant other, we believe that these can help you.

Now, before we get into that, 1 more thing I want to say.

We think that it's important that before you try to find the 1, that you are trying to be the 1 for someone else.

Meaning, there are some specific attributes that you may be looking for in this person that you think is someone you'd want to marry.

Try to work on those same attributes in yourself.

What that does is, it creates a situation where you are becoming more, I don't wanna use the word attractive.

Like, yes, but you're, maybe, but You're becoming now something that you're looking for.

And in fact, what you're doing is you are really striving to become more complete in Jesus.

And what happens is, you're really making yourself more ready for someone else to actually engage with you, and it's a thing that works right away.

Instead of thinking of it more selfishly that there are certain things I want and this person better have it if they don't, you know what I'm saying?

In fact, sometimes when we look at our lists of things that we want, we're really describing as Jesus.

And Jesus does not walk here on this earth like we can't bury him, you know what I'm saying?

So I think it's better to try to be the 1 for someone else than to even, before you even try to start finding the 1.

So with the brain, there are 2 reasons why we bring this up.

Number 1, we believe that it's important that as a single person that you make sure you understand that the way that you think about your past and the things that you've been through in your life, that is going to shape sometimes and affect the way that you interact with other people.

That's 1 word for this that we think is sums all that up is the word baggage.

There's something in your life that you have experienced or been through.

It may be specific to a relationship you were in with another person.

It could just be a relationship with like a parent or something like that, that has shaped the way that you think about things, and it does, in fact, affect the way that you think.

And I believe that if people understood on the front end that they have baggage, that it's normal, it's okay, everybody's got it, and don't allow that to dictate things.

There are some things in life that you can't enjoy because your baggage is such that it keeps you from enjoying it, you know what I'm saying?

I think we have to come up with a presupposition, okay, I've got baggage, this is something I'm gonna try to keep in check, and I'm not going to allow it to keep me from having a healthy Christian relationship.

So everybody has it, and everybody deals with it.

Yes, so we're going to do a quick, just a little activity.

We have a book bag here and this is going to be considered the baggage.

The reason why we chose a book bag is because you carry your baggage with you.

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The Anatomy of a Relationship

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