ASI Scandinavia 2019: Follow the Lamb

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ASI Scandinavia

Family

Freja Strucksnes

Kasper Struksnes

Doing Courtship God’s Way

Ernst Zwiker

Terri Zwiker

Conflict Management in the Family

Daniel Pel

Silvia Pel

Bringing Up Children in the Faith

Heavenly Father, we are privileged again to come to you and listen to what you want to tell us now.

Lord, we are in a challenging situation, everybody, in this world.

We should not be in the world, from the world.

Please help us to understand what you want to tell us today.

We have an interesting, complex topic, conflict solving, dealing with problems, with challenges.

Terry will tell our story a little so you understand where we are and where we went through and then we will see some analysis and so forth and some suggestions of solutions.

We want to say greetings from Zonmat, Switzerland.

As a family, they have a helper from mission schools, and we sometimes also help, are able to help.

And let me tell you, if you work for God in God's end time strategy, you will notice that he's behind you and he blesses you and we have a lot of miracles going on.

You would feel an hour to just tell what happens when we follow Christ's method.

So this is Germany, Austria, Liechtenstein, Italy and France.

And from this mountain you can see all these countries.

It's very close by And also these mountains here.

So since our subject is about conflict management, I thought it would be good, or we thought it would be good to tell you a little bit of our background and our potential for conflict.

Yeah, we teach Christian home classes in several mission schools now, and we have learned, and we have learned through teaching mostly, more and more about all the mistakes that we made in starting our relationship and in our conflict management, in our early marriage, and we're happy to share what we've learned so that others can possibly have an easier time of it.

So, from the beginning, we have had different upbringings.

I grew up in America, in California, and he grew up in Switzerland.

So we already have a huge cultural difference.

In his home, there wasn't so much conflict, or when there was conflict, it wasn't noticed as much.

I came from a divided home, although my parents stayed together.

They had a lot of differences of opinion.

My mother became a Seventh-day Adventist when I was 8 years old and my father didn't.

But he had been raised an Adventist, so he had the conscience conflict within him and he was also an alcoholic.

His parents were both Seventh-day Adventists.

His father was a real medical missionary at that time for the understanding of that time, which we didn't actually even realize until later until we got into this work.

We realized, ah, he was actually doing that too, but we didn't realize it at the time.

As far as discipline goes, or punishment, in my home there was a lot of corporal punishment.

And in his home, it was strict, but kind, conversational.

My father was very hardworking, and he worked to send us to Adventist schools.

But he wasn't home very much because he was working all the time, except when he was otherwise away.

And he had a very hardworking father and he was also, he was rude for you, but he was also not present so much in the family.

So, So that was a little bit of a common denominator.

We had a lot of things in common, but not such important things as you would think when you're thinking about what's important in a spouse.

We both like sports, so we played soccer together.

We both like music, he could play the piano, I could sing.

We played chess and, you know, card games and things like that.

He was a teacher and I was learning German, so that was a good thing.

He could teach me a lot and he taught me a lot of other things as well, not just German.

Yeah, I wrote a song about how much he taught me.

And opposites do attract because things that are very fascinating for you in your personality, You like the things that are different in someone else, and that draws you together.

And for a while, it's extremely attractive.

But things, you know, opposite, sometimes you can get on each other's nerves with being opposite too.

So in the melancholy, we kind of met each other.

And so in my culture, I grew up with the American sitcom humor.

I don't know if you know what that means, but making fun of each other is fun.

You laugh and you make a joke at somebody, you know, if they have a long nose or something.

You find a smart comment that makes everybody laugh around and you think that's funny, well the person that you're talking about, they feel it.

And that's what I had, 1 of the things I had to learn from him that that's not really a nice thing to do.

And I said, well, you know it's not really true.

There's always a part that's true, and that part hurts.

So I had to learn from coming from, because I grew up with television and and Sonny and Cher, the short guy, the tall skinny with the long nose and and they made fun of each other but they were you know a happy couple so that's what kind of I learned so then that's why they split up.

And when I was growing up, I didn't see behind the scenes.

Everybody knows now that none of the stars are happy.

An easy thing was like, I had to learn to eat with a fork and knife before I met his parents.

Yeah, because Americans eat with a fork, right?

Our language differences, but that kind of smoothed out.

Series

Family

Conflict Management in the Family

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

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