Your success, happiness and transformative influence is dependent on your ability to know and understand your own emotions and others’ emotions. Learn what the Bible says about this important subject and hear from case reports that illustrate how emotional intelligence can be greatly improved.

Hartland Fall Convocation 2021: Christ, Emotional Intelligence, and End-Time Events

<p>Your success, happiness and transformative influence is dependent on your ability to know and understand your own emotions and others’ emotions. Learn what the Bible says about this important subject and hear from case reports that illustrate how emotional intelligence can be greatly improved.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Hartland Institute of Health and Education

Allen Lloyd

Enhancing your Emotional Intelligence

Well, today we are going to be studying more about emotional intelligence.

And I don't know if the presentation is up yet, maybe not.

We heard a definition earlier today about emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is our ability to know and understand our emotions and the emotions of others and respond to those emotions in a healthy way.

And of course that sounds pretty simple, but there are is a lot involved in this.

And our behaviors powerfully influence our emotions, but it's our thoughts that actually cause our emotions and behavior.

And so first I wanna look on some of the behavioral aspects in improving emotional intelligence.

But first we're going to go into a little more details about what it actually is.

Aristotle says there are many ways to demonstrate anger and anyone can become angry.

But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not within everyone's power and that is not easy.

Well, often we quote from philosophers we agree with, but I actually don't agree with that complete statement.

What part do you think I do not agree with?

It actually is within everyone's power once we know the principles of emotional intelligence.

And this is 1 of the reasons why emotional intelligence has been shown to contribute more to successful and enjoyable living than even general intelligence does.

Since emotional intelligence can be learned rather than inherited, it can be improved upon significantly.

And it's amazing how quickly it can be improved upon, even in standardized tests of emotional intelligence.

The average emotional intelligence for the people coming to our program was 89.

The average across the nation is 90, so normally a depressed and anxious group might be a little bit below average, not greatly below average, but a little bit.

And 89 was actually lower than we normally get.

Normally it's about 96 coming to our program.

So there were several that would be considered emotionally retarded in their EQ level.

In other words, they had EQs of 54 or 65, every 10 points is a standard deviation.

But the average at the end of the program had gone up to 114, and that's well over 3 standard deviations different, and that puts them up in the top 25th percentile of the nation, so not only are they leaving depression free and anxiety free, their emotional intelligence puts them up in a category where they can be truly far more successful in the future.

There are 5 components to emotional intelligence.

That means being able to understand not only what we are feeling, but also why we are feeling that way.

And the why can't be because of what you just said to me, or because that person just cut me off in traffic, because that might be the activating event, but it's our thoughts about what was just said, or our thoughts about that person that cut us off in traffic that are actually the real cause of our emotions.

And so the first part of our program we have to deal a lot with the self-awareness aspect of things.

The good news is, and a lot of people see this as bad news at first, but the good news is it's our thoughts that cause our emotions and behavior.

My thoughts cause my emotions and behavior.

And a lot of people at first get upset at this because they're starting to recognize that that means that I'm responsible for my own emotions.

But thank God it is our thoughts that cause our emotions and behavior because we can change our what?

We can change our thoughts and we can change them into what is more true and accurate.

The second aspect is managing our emotions.

People with low emotional intelligence are simply managed by their emotions.

Moment by moment, day by day, they're being managed by their emotions.

People with high emotional intelligence still have powerful emotions.

The difference is they're managing those emotions.

And of course that has a bearing on what we talked about this morning in the area of self-control.

The third aspect is recognizing emotions in others.

It's not just about us, it's also about others.

And our ability to recognize emotions in others is a part of emotional intelligence as well as to empathize with others.

And then the fourth aspect is managing relationships with others.

And we might call that social intelligence.

And of course this is 1 of the reasons why emotional intelligence is connected with happiness because so much of our present as well as future success and happiness has to do with appropriate healthy relationships.

And then the last part of emotional intelligence has to do with motivation.

If our emotions are based on what's true and accurate, it will powerfully motivate us to achieve our goals.

And we've often run across people that might have high IQ, but they're not getting a good GPA.

In other words, they're not excelling academically.

If you have a high IQ and you're not excelling academically, is the problem your IQ?

No, the problem is your EQ, your emotional intelligence, because you're not properly motivated.

And so, in fact, studies show that EQ is much more connected to GPA than IQ is.

You can have someone of average intelligence, but because of their high motivation, they can get a 4.0, where someone who has a lot of intelligence, high IQ may not be near as successful in academics.

Fortunately, increasing EQ has been shown to effectively or prevent depression, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, even anorexia, bulimia, and even addictions such as alcoholism.

And this has been shown in nice controlled trials.

By the way, I should mention some of these, like eating disorders, anorexia.

These are called disorders of assumption.

A disorder of assumption means that when an anorexic patient looks in the mirror, who does she see?

The anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a overweight, obese individual.

So because that anorexic believes that they are overweight and obese, does that mean the therapy affirms them and says, Yes, you are what you think you are.

Because they're already under eating and you tell them that and they're going to under eat some more.

And so the therapy for anorexia and bulimia is what we call cognitive behavioral therapy to help the person see things as they really are.

And this is, of course, an important element in something that's become more prominent than anorexia, which is also often a disorder of assumption, where a person that is a biological male believes that they're actually a female.

The solution is not to affirm them in their femaleness.

The solution has to do with cognitive behavioral therapy in helping them to realize their actual biology.

And this is something that's, of course, very helpful.

If you want to know more about those details, in our last EQ Summit we dealt specifically on those issues of gender dysphoria that's become very common.

It's so common that we have, in every program, we have gender dysphoric individuals, but we don't have anorexics in any program.

Anorexia is very minor now in comparison.

It's always been somewhat minor, but it's certainly minor in comparison with that disorder of assumption that is getting a lot of media assistance in having that disorder of assumption become much more prominent.

Michelle Crotella who has done a lot of work in that area that went into the science, the actual true science and the facts behind this.

And of course we've had others deal with the cognitive behavioral therapy on this.

But fortunately increasing emotional intelligence also helps normal people, helps them think clearer, communicate more effectively, fosters unity in group settings, reduces polarizing statements, promotes a happier life, and all of this is accomplished without compromise or sacrificing the truth.

In fact, 1 of the primary aspects of emotional intelligence is to look at what is true.

And then to, of course, align ourself and our thoughts with the truth.

So before we get into some of the thinking aspects, I'd like to mention some of the behavioral aspects that have been shown to improve EQ.

And when people come to our program for depression and anxiety recovery, The first thing they notice, and of course what we're asking them to do and making them accountable, are behavioral changes.

The behavioral changes will actually help them in their thought processes when we get to the thoughts, but we have to start out with the behavioral parts first.

And 1 of the behavioral parts that we start out with has to do with the increasing evidence, body of evidence, that shows that the time we are spending on screens or digital devices is interfering with multiple things.

This has been now shown in some very nice trials and a lot of science has been done on this recently, but the more time you spend on digital devices or screens, the more problems you are going to have with sleep, including making enough melatonin at night.

Just using a digital device an hour before bedtime is going to lower your melatonin level, it's going to take you longer to fall asleep, you're going to be more likely to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep, and when you do get up the next day, you're going to be groggier and you're going to want to delay your circadian rhythm clock, which means you want to continue to go to bed later and later.

And that simply has to do with the use of screens, particularly an hour before bedtime.

There's something else that happens with screens and studies show the more you look at images the lower your self-worth is going to be.

There's a reason why God had the second commandment.

Have any graven images or any likeness of anything as well.

God wanted to be worshipped in his genuineness and he wants us to be genuine.

Enhancing your Emotional Intelligence

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