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It Is Written

John Bradshaw

Saving Marriage

Coming up next, please stay tuned for It Is Written, presented by Pastor John Bradshaw.

In Germany, people might gather together before a wedding to break objects made of porcelain.

At a Jewish wedding, the groom or the bride and groom might step on a glass inside a cloth bag and smash the glass.

I attended a wedding where the newlyweds sawed a log together.

Traditions like these are intended to bring good fortune to the couple getting married.

The point being, we want marriages to work out.

We want a happy couple to remain happy and to have a long and blessed marriage.

Wedding vows typically include a line that says, for as long as you both shall live, for almost 500 years, till death do us part, has been associated with getting married.

Even though the divorce rate in the United States has dropped in recent times, it's still sky high.

In 2021, there were 1, 985, 072 marriages in the United States and 689, 308 divorces.

While first marriages fail at a rate of around 40%, 67% of second marriages fail, and 73% of third marriages.

In southern states, often said to be more conservative and more religious than the rest of the country, divorce rates hover right around the national average, even though every Bible in the South says that God hates divorce.

In Britain and Australia, the divorce rate has increased in recent years.

And while we recognize there are times people can no longer safely stay in a marriage due to their own safety or the welfare of the children, those cases are the exception and they're not the rule.

Casey Foundation reports that in the United States today, 1 in 3 children lives in a single-parent family, and the number is rising.

Most of those kids live in a home without a father.

Now God bless single parents who do their best and work hard.

But it's certainly not the ideal situation.

Nearly 30% of single parents live in poverty, as compared to 6% of married couples.

And while many children raised in one-parent homes do well and go on to succeed, it's true that generally children who come through divorce have a harder time in life.

Girls whose fathers left the home before they were 5 years old are 8 times more likely to become pregnant as adolescents than girls from intact families.

The NIH cites research that shows kids whose parents divorce or separate are at increased risk of child and adolescent adjustment problems, including academic difficulties, disruptive behaviours, that's conduct and substance abuse problems, and depression and other mental health issues.

The same research says that children and adult offspring of separated parents are overrepresented in the mental health system.

Psychology Today said, Research shows that children of divorce are more likely to experience a divorce themselves.

The statistics vary, but 1 study by researchers Paul Amato and Danelle Deboer indicated that if a woman's parents divorced, her odds of divorce increased by 69 percent, while if both a husband and wife's parents divorced, The risk of divorce increased by 189%.

Frederick Douglass once said, it is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

Again, I want to emphasize that Some kids come through the divorce of their parents okay, but we're not wise to ignore the fact that parental divorce is really hard on kids.

In the beginning, God created Adam, and after creating Eve, Genesis says, he brought her to the man.

And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become 1 flesh.

Adam described Eve as, the woman whom you gave to be with me.

The median age for a first marriage is now 30 for men and 28 for women.

Adults cohabiting with a partner is on the rise.

In 2016, 18 million Americans were living with an unmarried partner, up 30% in less than 10 years.

Have fallen by almost 50 percent and are currently at the lowest point in recorded history.

In 1960, the rate of marriage for women was 76.5 per 10, 000, but By 2008 that number was down to 37.4 per 10, 000.

So, is there any hope for marriage, an institution that's on shaky ground?

We're going to look together at a divine prescription for saving marriage.

The family was set up by God to be the place in which children can be raised safely and successfully, where both husband and wife can flourish, where parents and children can experience love and security.

Marriage creates the family, and the family is the building block of society.

And keep in mind, marriage is not a contract.

Online Legal Service UpCounsel describes a covenant like this, while a contract is legally binding, a covenant is a spiritual agreement.

A contract is an agreement you can break, while A covenant is a perpetual promise.

A contract exchanges 1 good for another, while a covenant is giving one's self to the other.

Covenants are a trust-based promise that relies on your integrity and discipline.

While contracts are enforceable by the courts, covenants depend on your values.

I don't say any of this to be critical of people who've gone through divorce.

And pretty much everyone has divorce in their family.

We're looking to see if there's a way forward, a way to avoid divorce and to save a marriage and a family.

Okay, first, you want to marry the right person.

Do your homework and be calculating about it.

When you're young and in love, or in lust, or even if you're older and you're infatuated, it isn't easy to make a well-reasoned decision.

And in love is such a nebulous concept these days.

And what is taken to be love is often simply misplaced need or desire.

It's important to go beyond good looking and makes lots of money.

I can already tell you what you're looking for, if you're looking.

You're looking for someone who is honest, someone who is trustworthy, someone who, if a man, treats his mother with respect, or if a female, treats her father with respect.

Someone who is employable, responsible, hardworking, and if you're a person of faith, someone who believes like you.

If he or she is not the right person, move on, quickly.

I've told many people that when they're considering marriage, they need to find someone really attractive, like my wife did.

Okay, I have 9 more points to share with you about saving marriage.

Have you heard it said that marriage is hard work?

Well, I don't agree, and I'll tell you why in just a moment.

Marriage established in the Garden of Eden is not nearly as popular as it used to be.

Yet God has provided principles to protect and strengthen marriage in the family.

Discover these biblical principles in our free resource, Family Matters.

To receive your free copy of Family Matters, call 800-253-3000, 800-253-3000.

Learn how the Bible reveals that to God, family matters.

The institution of marriage has been under attack ever since it was introduced by God in the Garden of Eden.

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Saving Marriage

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