GYC 2025: Seeing the Invisible

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Generation. Youth. Christ. (GYC)

#RelationshipGoals: God's Edition

Christian Martin

Heidi Martin

01 Rock-Solid Love: Starting with Christ First

All right, well, welcome, welcome, welcome.

And, you know, we're excited to be here at GYC, seeing the invisible ear.

And we are very thankful to be a part of this seminar lecture series and be able to be here with you.

You know, and we are sincerely excited to be talking about relationships.

And listen, this is coming from 2 people that have successfully not killed each other for the last almost 25 years.

Yep, and we are really looking forward to spending these days with you.

A little bit about us, We live in Northern Virginia.

I'm a pastor at the Living Hope Seventh Adventist Church.

And in addition to that, we have the joy of hosting a program on Hope Channel.

I don't know how many of you watch Hope Channel, but we are the hosts of the morning show on Hope Channel.

It airs Monday through Friday, so you can catch us there.

We've been doing this for 4 years now and we've we've clocked in like over 1, 500 episodes We've had a lot of fun at it.

We've had a lot of fun and we've learned a lot.

So I'm also a licensed clinical social worker, but honestly my favorite work is doing ministry with Christian and we've been doing that for 26 years now I think.

We also have 2 children, Elijah, who's 18, and Mariah.

They're both here with us at GYC, and they also love being involved in ministry.

And They worked in Michigan this last summer doing Youth Rush.

I don't know how many of you are from Michigan.

Love the state, but not quite the winters all the time.

But Virginia is a little warmer, so that's nice.

You know, Elijah, our son, is graduating from high school, and he'll be going to Southern this coming fall.

I'm a Southern alumni myself, and we have a daughter.

Her birthday was a few months ago, so we're proud parents of 2 teens, and that has its own joys and challenges, believe me.

And we also, like I said earlier, We've been married next May 27, 2026.

Yeah, we're really, really excited about that.

Now, it's not to say that, And you know this, this goes without saying, but we haven't figured everything out yet.

I said yet, like we're ever going to do that.

But we are here to share with you our story and the lessons we've been learning along the way in the journey.

So this seminar really is going to be a journey.

And we are going to talk about love, boundaries, friendship, and building marriages that last.

And our heart's desire is to explore what that looks like and how to do relationships God's way.

Because his design is always deeper and better than the trends that we're surrounded with in our world today.

Yeah, so this session at this time is called Rock Solid Love, starting with Christ first.

And our next session following this 1 right away is going to be from squad to soulmate, the power of godly friendship.

And as you know, the seminars continue after lunch in the afternoon.

And our seminar in the afternoon, the first of 2, will be Love Without Regrets, Boundaries That Bless.

And then our last session of the day this evening is going to be Talk It Out, God's way to handle love and drama.

Yep, and then tomorrow we'll wrap it up with our fifth and final session entitled, From Dating to Destiny, Preparing for Ever.

And so this is going to be our five-part series.

So before we dive in, let's go ahead and pause and ask the God of relationships himself, the God of love, to come and join us, bless us with his presence.

Father in heaven, we just want to pause because you tell us in your word that you are love, God is love, and we believe that.

You also tell us that you are the way, the truth, and the life.

And so Lord, we want to explore the reality of you, our God, being in the center of our love life.

And Lord, we know you have precious thoughts towards each 1 of us.

And so that gives us great comfort and relieves us from needing to be stressed about our future and even our present.

And so, Lord, we look forward to discovering principles both from your word and from just life experiences that will give us courage and understanding and confidence to go forward in life with peace in our hearts about ourselves and about our relationships with you and with others.

So thank you for answering our prayer in Jesus name.

I had met Heidi a few times as I was a youth pastor in the Michigan Conference.

I graduated from Southern, then went to Michigan and was assigned Battle Creek Tabernacle.

And so as a youth pastor, I was excited about ministry, getting ready to start off.

And while I was there, I was told about a girl whose parents were also pastors in Michigan, who had spent a year in Argentina.

Well, as soon as I heard more about her, I decided I was going to do something bold.

I knew that I heard that she was graduating from Andrews University.

And so, though I had met her a couple of times before that, I decided I was going to go to the Andrews University graduation weekend to be able to see her and be with her.

Now you gotta understand that's kind of bold because you know for graduation what do you got?

You got your family and then I show up in the mix and he called me and he's like hey can I come to your graduation I was like yeah sure that'd be great and And so since this is a weekend thing, right, something happened on Andrew's in the afternoon on Sabbath, and then on Saturday night we decided to go and just go for a little drive to Lake Michigan just to be able to have a conversation, just to be able to hang out?

And so we got in the car and we walked over, we drove over to the shores of Lake Michigan and we got out of the car and we're like, you know, let's walk.

And I see 1 of these lifeguard tower things with the chair on the top, this lifeguard post.

And I say, Hey, Heidi, hey, look at that.

Why, you want to go, you want to climb that?

02 From Squad to Soulmate: The Power of Godly Friendship

It's good to have you here with us once again for our second session.

In our first session, we talked about rock-solid love starting with Christ first, and we explored how starting with Jesus changes everything.

Because before you can love others well, You need to let Jesus love you first.

And something we're going to do first, before we go any further, is simply share with you our names so you can know who you're talking to.

I'm Heidi, for those of you who weren't here the first time.

Christian, Heidi Martin, and we have been married for nearly 25 years, and we're here to share with you our journey, lessons that we've learned along the way, knowing that it made a difference in our life, in our relationship.

And in our last session, we spoke about the importance, the foundational importance of having that first relationship with Christ.

And now, for our current session, we're going to talk about the topic from squad to soulmate, the power of godly friendship.

But first, let's pray to the 1 who is love, the 1 who is the way, the truth, and the life, the 1 who wants to be the center of our love life.

So let's pause and let's pray together as we begin.

Our Father in heaven, Lord, how thankful we are that as we enter into a phase of our life when we are asking very deep and personal and serious questions about ourselves and about others that you are not the God who just stands aloof and at a distance and just watches us try to figure things out on our own.

Thank you for being a God who wants to be very intimate and close to the things that matter to us the most.

And we pray, Lord, that you would do so right now just draw near to us.

We want your presence to fill this Place we want to have ears that will listen not to anything Heidi and I share but above all to listen to that still small loving voice that wants to give us comfort and peace and confidence to know that our life is safe in your hands.

So bless us now as we talk about these things pertaining to life and relationships.

Speak to us Lord and we thank you in Jesus name, amen.

So whether it's here at GYC or back at home, we all have our circle.

You have your squad, the people you vibe with and actually enjoy being around.

But most, And most of our friend groups, obviously, are a mix of guys and girls that we meet.

And some of our friendships maybe even go back to when we were kids.

But the real question is, how do you move from being just friends to finding your person, the 1 who could become your soulmate?

You know, Jean de La Fontaine, a 17th century French poet, said, once wrote, Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.

We can't just put them all together and say, friends, friends, we got friends.

But within that circle of friendships, there's different types of friendships.

So first, you have your acquaintances, people you recognize and have brief surface-level interactions with, like a neighbor, a co-worker, someone you see in the line for the food at GYC that you bumped into, maybe even friends on your social media.

And so, and so those are, are often many in our lives as we go through life and enjoy getting to meet people.

Another type of friend are Casual, casual friends.

Casual friends are the friends that you enjoy spending time with, not merely because they're an acquaintance, but you know a little bit more about them, and therefore, because you've been acquainted with them, you now want to spend time with them.

And you go beyond small talk to sharing slightly more personal information.

You're opening up a little bit more, a little bit more.

And 1 thing about GYC is being able to come back to GYC and be able to meet up with those that you've met in previous GYCs.

For how many of you this is not your first GYC?

How many of you have been to previous GYCs?

And I'm sure that you're meeting up with people that, hey, it's good to see you again because you met them last year.

And then you have your next level of friendship, and that's close friends.

These are people you trust, you care about deeply, and you offer emotional support to, and they offer it back to you.

They actually will invest time in you, give you their undivided attention, even in the middle of the day when you call them say hey, I need something.

Yep, and then you got your shall we say intimate friends intimate friends These are the ones that we call confidants confidants confidants confidants a very high Level of trust it's it's It's more than just your close friends, even, because there's an emotional connection.

That's what lies at the center of the characteristic of intimate friends.

And you share your deepest thoughts and feelings with them.

They're never left to just kind of guess what's going on in your mind.

They know because they've come to know you that intimately.

And usually, usually you have a handful of intimate friends, all right?

Oh, the numbers start getting a little lesser as they get more intimate for obvious reasons, right?

And, but these few intimate friends are very special, special friends.

So those are the 4 different types of friendships that you can have, and everyone has people in their lives that fit into each 1 of those categories to some degree.

As you look at these types of friends, acquaintances, casual friends, close friends, intimate friends, and I'm almost certain that all of you, if not most of you, are already in your mind putting names to all these categories, right?

Oh yeah, that's Timmy, oh that's Bob, oh that's Susan right there.

You know, you're just starting to do that.

And as you do, Truth be told, that each 1 of these categories can include friends of that type that are both good, have good influence, and not so good influence.

But that happens just about with anybody, anywhere, any time.

Whether you're going to an Adventist university or whether you're going to your community college, it doesn't matter.

Don't think that because you're going to go to an Adventist University, you're gonna be in this bubble of just people that are just potentially awesome, good, intimate friends, that will have this great positive, good influence in your life.

You find this in all places, but you get the point.

The people that you choose to be around will shape your lives in big ways.

And from a biblical perspective, we can think of Ecclesiastes 9, verse 5, where it tells us that 2, 2 are better than 1.

And you know, at the end of the day, we could all agree that life gets easier and richer when you're surrounded by friends.

And of course, just as much as there's different types of friends, there's also different types of personalities.

So when we're talking about trying to meet the person that we want to be with for the rest of our lives, I think personality matters.

And so we decided in this seminar we are going to give you a five-minute personality test.

So the papers have been passed out, pens have been passed out.

If you did not, are there, okay, where are my people that were passing out?

OK, at the back we have, if you need a 5 minute personality test, hands up.

OK, because some people were coming in and they didn't get 1.

If you need only a pen, please put your hand, show us a number 1.

A pen and a paper, raise a 1 in your hand, I guess.

03 Love Without Regrets: Boundaries that Bless

And we're so glad to be able to pick it up where we left off.

In our last session, we explored from squad to soulmate.

And we talked about how God is at the center of the relationship, friendships.

When God is at the center, friendships can move forward very meaningfully with blessing, direction, and peace.

So we didn't quite complete 2 of the 5 points that we had on our outline, and so we're gonna be covering those 2 briefly so we can complete it and then move on to the next session.

So before we go any further, let's pause right now for prayer and ask for God's blessing.

Father in heaven, we just want to thank you that you've brought us together once again.

Thank you that you are revealing to us perspectives and insights, concepts that you can use further to be able to give us understanding of ourselves and of our life and what we ought to be on the lookout for.

And we pray, Lord, that you would once again join us, speak to us, reveal to us your good and perfect will.

We thank you, Lord, because you are a God of love and you care for our life and we thank you in Jesus' name, amen.

So again, my name is Pastor Christian and this is my wife Heidi and we are just thankful to be a part of the GYC experience with you to talk about these things.

Just to finish up, point number 4, no peace, no relationship.

It is very difficult to proceed in a relationship when part of you wants to go forward just because your selfish nature wants it.

But in your own heart, you know this isn't right.

You have to have complete peace in your mind and in your heart, not just by feelings.

So if you don't have peace, if you have red flags, if there are issues, seek help.

And, and it is true that generally speaking, women are driven by, by the emotional connection and emotional intimacy that they can have with their significant other.

And especially for women, when you sense that there is no peace, then you're saying just no relationship.

You have to explore what the problem is, get help, and if it doesn't change, then you probably need to think about moving in another direction.

So the fifth point then was same mission, same direction.

And being able to be a united front, a common goal, a shared calling, moving forward in God's purpose.

There's nothing like a couple united for Jesus.

You can go places and do things for him that are amazing.

And it's so fun to work together like that.

So that's why we're saying same mission same direction when you unite your life with someone you want to go in the same direction That's right.

So there we were Wondering I was wondering to myself does this guy like me?

I We've told you a little bit of our story so far, so we're just kind of jumping right back into that.

And we were getting to know 1 another and, you know, becoming friends and all that.

And I had been through 2 other relationships that were very painful, 2 other painful breakups, And I was like, I cannot do this again.

I actually looked it up on YouTube, or not on YouTube, on Amazon the other day to see if it was still in print, and it is.

So The Book of romance, not a very creative title, but it's a very good book.

And in that book, I read this, I read in there to ask something that was completely, completely out of characteristic for me as a person.

Yeah, and I remember that 1 afternoon while we were together visiting together at your parents' house, that Heidi said, honey, I, did you call me honey by then?

You said, Christian, you know, I do want to ask you a question.

And when she said, I like to sit down to ask you a question I knew that this was gonna be something that is not Something she's ever asked before I had that vibe that this is serious This is she's She's gonna be asking me a really heartfelt question.

I didn't know what she was gonna ask, but I knew it was gonna be something.

And he had only seen me at my, he came come to visit me once or twice.

And so it wasn't like we were just friends, you know?

But I was like, I am not in this thing to just be friends, right?

I mean, like, I don't want to waste my time.

So I read this book, and I thought, and it said just ask.

How many people go through months and months.

It's just ask and I was like, yeah, but I'm the girl I don't think I'm supposed to do that.

Maybe that's just too forward But I decided I have nothing to lose if this guy walks out of his house and I never talked to him again And I never see him again.

We were just like hanging out talking becoming friends So I like got the guts I got the guts up and I did it.

So you're saying that basically in this relationship, in this friendship that we were having, you were at a point where it's a crossroads where at this point in your emotional life, you had to know so Because if she took a few more steps in that direction, it would become a more emotional bond that would eventually result in more pain.

So I thought to avoid all of that, I'm just going to ask.

So anyway, she looked at me straight in the eye and she said, I said, do you like me?

Like, like, as in, do you like, I mean, not as friends, but do you, do you have any like remote random, maybe a little bit, kind of like flashbacks to fifth, to fifth grade, you know, Valentine's Day, we have all the little cards, and do you like me?

But I knew that this is no laughing matter.

And I remember that when she asked, I looked at her and with a sense of, of eagerness of wanting her to know, I said, Yes, yes, yes.

And that literally, man, that was a day to remember because that really took our friendship now to a different level altogether.

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Series

#RelationshipGoals: God's Edition

04 Talk it Out: God’s Way to Handle Love & Drama

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Parts

01 Rock-Solid Love: Starting with Christ First

53m

02 From Squad to Soulmate: The Power of Godly Friendship

50m

03 Love Without Regrets: Boundaries that Bless

59m

04 Talk it Out: God’s Way to Handle Love & Drama

53m

Sound Doctrine