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Advent HOPE Sabbath School

Romantic Relationship Seminar

Gabriel Arruda

01 Why So Many Adventist Singles?

02 How God Prepares You for Your Spouse

03 Five Behaviors Keeping You Single

04 How To Help Men And Women Connect

All right, well, we have prayed, and so I trust that the Lord heard that prayer.

We're going to move forward, and we're going to have our last installment, part 4.

Title of this message is, How to Help Men and Women Connect.

I just wanna say also that there will be information for guys here as well.

The main thrust is gonna be geared towards women, but men will have content in here as well that will be very helpful for them also.

I wanna say something, I've been referring to Dr.

Cloud's program and I just wanna clarify a few things.

The first thing I wanna clarify is, he talks about meeting 5 new people a week, that's the preparatory period there.

And I just wanna clarify, sometimes people think that, they interpret that as 5 dates a week.

You're asking for 5 people on a date per week.

That's not, it was just meeting 5 people per week.

And if that's really intimidating for you to...

People of the opposite sex, that's the idea.

If that's really intimidating for you, you could start with people that are benign.

You know, start with an old lady or an old man or kids.

Again, we're not asking these people on dates, right?

We're getting used to being more open-minded, open-hearted individuals.

And also, you know, something I've quoted a few times, I just want to clarify, Dr.

Cloud talks about getting your numbers up, getting your numbers up, and you know, just when you get to that phase where you're asking people on dates, just, you know, asking a lot of people on dates.

That's always with the Holy Spirit's guidance, amen?

So I'm just assuming that all of this is to be understood under the...

It's to be done prayerfully, to be done under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and so I also just wanted to make that clear as well.

All right, how do you get a guy's attention?

You know, I've talked to many single women in the church and the general tenor that I get is frustration.

And if you were here for the very first presentation Friday night, we clearly saw that in the data, the comments, they were screaming that.

And You know, what do you do if you're a woman, you believe in traditional roles, you believe that the man should lead, and you believe that the man should be approaching you, and you're waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

A lot of women indicate They're in this situation and they're very frustrated.

And I just want to turn again to some of our final survey data here that I got from this survey.

What do you do when you see a guy or girl you like?

We got about almost 5% of people that just run.

So then we have some that are about 20%, I'm sorry, close to 30% that say watch and pray.

They just kinda look from across and they just start praying.

And then we have people, a pretty decent size group in the middle, 55%, that they just hang around them and look for an opportunity to say hello.

I think that's like the standard thing to do.

And then we got 11%, walk right up to them and introduce yourself.

We got some bold people who took this survey.

So, but you can see where the general idea is, is that there's not a lot of people that feel really confident just, you know, walking up and breaking ice.

Not a lot of people fit into that category.

And so there's things that need to be done.

Also, I did it on a different way as well, kind of a similar question.

How comfortable do you feel with approaching a guy and girl you like to introduce yourself?

We have about 6% that say that they are extremely uncomfortable.

A little over 4% that say they're at a 2 on the scale.

We have 15%, a decent chunk, they're like, you know, right in the middle.

I'm not super uncomfortable, but I'm not extremely comfortable with it either.

10% say they're at A67, at 7 and 8, that's also about 14%, 14 to 15%.

Then we have some ballers out there, people who are at 9 and 10, extremely comfortable.

About 4% said 9, and 6%, about 6% said 10.

So you see this general trend we have here.

We got a somewhat decent looking bell curve there.

We do have some shy people, but not super shy.

Is there currently a guy or girl you are interested in?

42% of people that surveyed said, you know what, there is someone I'm interested in.

Well, of those who said yes, I asked them, have you approached this person for a date?

Only 15% said that they've actually approached this person that they like for a date.

And 84% said, no, I have not approached that person.

And so my next question is, what's stopping you?

And you see the top 1, 47%, almost half, said, I'm a girl and I'm waiting for him to approach me.

So hence, this is part of the reason why I put this presentation together, to help out the people in that category.

The next 1, 28%, I don't think they like me.

14, almost 15% said, they don't feel ready for a relationship.

8% said, don't want people to think I'm a player.

And if it doesn't work out, pretty much I don't want to deal with the consequences of that.

So we're going to talk a little bit about that.

And then we have 35% in the other category.

And just a lot of random comments, people sharing their stories with me.

I didn't have time to share all those comments.

But yeah, the largest category, almost half.

I'm a girl waiting for the guy to do his thing, waiting for the guy to do the approaching.

Series

Romantic Relationship Seminar

04 How To Help Men And Women Connect

Transcript

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Swipe Right, Part 2

37m

The God-Arranged and Blessed Marriage

Principles of the God-Blessed Marriage

57m

Why Jesus Can’t be Your Boyfriend

59m

Romantic Relationship Seminar

02 How God Prepares You for Your Spouse

49m

The God-Arranged and Blessed Marriage

The God-Arranged Match

1h 2m

Romantic Relationship Seminar

01 Why So Many Adventist Singles?

59m

Relationship Revival

5. ‘Making’ Love

1h 4m

Relationship Revival

3. Safety First

1h 4m

When it’s not Good for Man to be Alone

1h 9m

Relationships and Family Life

My ‘Single’ Desire

1h 24m

How to Know God's Will for My Life

How to Know God’s Will for My Relationships

48m

Blessed are the Pure in Heart

How to Choose a Good Mate

52m

Sound Doctrine