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Advent HOPE Sabbath School

The Art of Connection

Calvin Kim

Confessions of an Amateur Adventist Matchmaker

Marriage: Men Win Big, Women Need to Pray, Fast, and Read the Terms and Conditions

In my previous message when I shared in December, I shared that dating in your 20s is akin to shopping at Whole Foods.

Dating in your 30s is shopping at Costco.

Costco is a blessing, we all love Costco, but Costco doesn't give you 27 different types of almond milk.

Later that day, I had 1 of the leaders of Avent Hope call me to share with me that there was a pastor who was listening in the audience, and he shared that dating in your 40s is like shopping at Goodwill.

I let the leader of Avent hope know that that was actually in my notes but I decided not to share it as I wanted to err on the side of caution.

So if you don't like it I'll give the passion the credit for that 1.

Initially in my notes Costco was not in the 30s it was Marshall's.

Marshall's is not Nordstrom's but Marshall's you can still spot brand names.

They may not have the right size or color.

You may have to look a little bit harder, but you can find amazing things at Marshalls.

Now I chose Marshalls over TJ Maxx or Ross because I like their slogan the best.

Their slogan or tagline, you're gonna like this, your surprise is waiting.

Dating in your 40s is like shopping at Goodwill I like 1 of their taglines find good in your community the good news is that while they have a lot of used things They also have vintage and they actually sell a lot of new things at Goodwill.

Please note that at Goodwill stores incredible treasures have been discovered.

A Jackson Pollock painting was found and sold from a goodwill and the person who bought it is asking $50 million for this.

So great treasures can be found still in your 40s.

The last time I spoke I told you I had so much material that this would be turning into a part 2 series, now it's turned into a part 3.

I will be sharing the afternoon dating tips and insight that I think needs to be shared But I'm not sure anyone is addressing it the subtitle for the afternoon's message is would you date you if you were her?

And so if you are easily triggered or offended you will not want to miss this.

This morning as I go into part 2 I'll be speaking to the men for the women's sake and I'll be speaking to the women for the men's sake so nobody gets to relax.

I will be making a lot of generalizations.

They won't describe everyone, so if it's not you, please don't take it personally.

Generalizations exist because they're often directionally true and help communicate the bigger idea.

As was mentioned earlier, the subtitle of this morning's message, Marriage, Men When Big, Women Need to Pray Fast and Read the Terms and Conditions.

So if you'll just bow your heads with me, I'm going to pray and we're going to jump into this message.

Dear Heavenly Father, it's such a beautiful Sabbath outside.

We invite your presence to be here with us, ask that you would anoint my lips and that you would speak through me so that we would hear a word from heaven this morning.

We pray this in Jesus' precious name, amen.

Before you get upset at me for making such a blanket statement, It was God who said it, so don't be annoyed with me.

In Genesis chapter 1, after each day of creation, God says, it was good, it was good, it was good.

Now, before we get to Genesis 3, when sin enters this planet, in Genesis 2, in a perfectly sinless world, God declares that something is not good.

He says it's not good for the man to be alone.

The first man is not broken, he's not sinless, yet God says he is not good by himself And God knew what he was talking about.

For starters, men don't do well in isolation.

Studies show that a disproportionate percentage of men in isolation end up in substance abuse, 1 out of 3.

Higher rates compared to married men or women.

God said in Genesis chapter 2, 18, I will make him a helper.

This same word is used frequently in the Old Testament to describe God as the powerful rescuer, protector, and strength of his people.

Helper doesn't mean maid, assistant, or passive sidekick.

Proverbs 18.22 tells us he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

I've mentioned before that studies have shown that married men are not only healthier and happier, make more money, but they actually live longer.

Men who are unmarried are much more likely to flounder, drift, and end up diseased or dead.

Married men live longer because our wives make sure we go to the doctor before it becomes an emergency prayer request.

When a dentist does a marketing campaign, do you know who our target audience is?

Because they are the ones who make the appointments for their husbands and their kids.

Do you know how many times patients will tell me, oh my girlfriend made this appointment for me or my wife made this appointment.

Married men live longer because married men eat better.

Single men rotate between cereal, ramen, and Trader Joe's microwavable foods.

Married men open the fridge and they have pasta, salad, and garlic bread and leftover dessert staring back at them.

I know this from first-hand experience as I've been a man my whole life.

I make my personal cell phone available to all my patients.

I don't want you sending me videos, books to read, what do you think about this, or asking me about their appointment or to look up their account.

Women see nuances men often miss, women hear the tone men ignore, Women notice the things men walk past.

Our wives will tell us things we need to hear that nobody else will.

Having a wife is like having your own personal odor detector.

This is important because no 1 else is going to tell you, except your wife or your kids.

I smell good in front of my patients because of my wife.

I've been trained by my wife to always work alone at work.

As a dentist, I'm in people's personal space and I often enjoy eating kimchi on the weekends.

Because God knows men need help, he created women to help us.

He didn't give us a tool, not a manual, not a YouTube tutorial.

But someone with intuition and the ability to say, honey, no, just no.

I love a good beard, but most of us Asian men can't really grow a good beard.

I was shooting for an Asian Amish look Before I shaved it off.

My oldest told me I look like a short Abraham Lincoln.

My youngest told me I look like a leprechaun.

But there are certain things that should never and never has never been in style and never will be.

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Series

The Art of Connection

Marriage: Men Win Big, Women Need to Pray, Fast, and Read the Terms and Conditions

Transcript

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Science of Worship

14 - Beautiful Believing Rest

1h 9m

It Happened Because of Prayer

Give Him Not Silence

42m

SWYC 2008 Breakout Sessions

Change Your Plans

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Crisis At the Close: The Mob

47m

A President, the Pope and a Lectern

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The Sanctuary

04 The Sanctuary Power of the Tabernacle

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Chad Kreuzer Weekend 2022

Healing the Helpless

47m

Family Communications

8 - Children Especially

30m

Night’s Song

44m

The Parables

The Two Sons

40m

Sound Doctrine