GYC 2007: Be

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Generation. Youth. Christ. (GYC)

Alan and Nicole Parker - Happily Ever After: Finding True Love, God's Way

Alan Parker

Nicole Parker

Is This “The One”?

But We’re Just Friends

Romance, Courtship, and Marriage

Getting Ready for Your Wedding Night

Beauty for Ashes: Healing Past Hurts

Relationships Question and Answer

I read an article not long ago in a magazine called GQ and I don't think I had ever opened a GQ magazine before for those of you who don't know and hopefully all of you don't know.

It's a men's magazine but it caught my attention because I saw this the article advertised on the front cover and it said, The New Christian Sex Craze.

And I was like, funny there'd be a new Christian sex craze and GQ knows about it and I don't.

And I found out it was really just the same old Christian sex craze of wait until you're married.

I don't know what was new about it, but this guy apparently who wrote it, it was a brand new idea.

And he kind of spent the whole time in the article making fun of the idea that you would wait actually until you're married before you have sex.

And at the end though, it was really interesting.

I wish I could have gotten a quotation from it.

I should have just taken the ending paragraph.

He ends up kind of saying, in summary, these guys are waiting until their wedding night for sex and they think it's going to be so incredible but you know they're going to hit their wedding nights and they're going to go that that was it that was what I was waiting for and I thought ha Buster you just shot yourself in the foot Because you just proved what we've been saying all along, that the reason why sex doesn't bring all the fulfillment that you think it will, is because you're having it in the wrong context.

Premarital sex, as somebody says, it seems to be that people are having it more and enjoying it less than ever before.

This guy's testimony was, man, these Christian guys think that sex is going to be so wonderful.

You know you see the magazines when you're checking out at the grocery store?

52 positions your boyfriend wishes you knew.

The problem is these people are just plain bored with sex.

They started having it at 13 and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

And so they tried a few more times with a few more people and it still isn't what it seemed like in the movie.

And they say, well maybe it's just the wrong position.

You know the problem is they've got the wrong idea because marital sex is what God had created premarital sex is something that the devil has Created and And like every other thing that the devil has tried to morph out of what God has made, it ends up being ugly.

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was not anything like the tree of life, was it?

But the fruit tasted good, and people were foolish enough to eat it.

And over and over throughout history, people have been foolish enough to do the same stupid things and not learn from other people's mistakes.

Now, if the guy who wrote that article were sitting here in the audience, probably he'd raise his hand and go, oh, come on, what's the difference with just a piece of paper?

What's the difference between marriage, you know, sex before you get married and sex after you get married?

Imagine that you have found your perfect bicycle.

Here's the store, and you have been dreaming all your life of the bicycle you want to have.

Someday you've been thinking, I want to have a bicycle that's going to be this color.

For the girl, they're probably thinking, this is the color of bicycle I want.

For the guy, he's going, this is the kind of bicycle I want, right?

Here it is in the store right in front of you.

You pull that bicycle off the rack and you take it, walk right out of the store.

Your heart's going to be pounding, isn't it?

You get on, you ride away, it's your bicycle.

You may have that bicycle, but how are you going to ride it?

For the rest of your life, when you ride that bicycle, you're looking over your shoulder, aren't you?

Every time you see the blue lights, did I get caught?

Now what if on the other hand you go find that bicycle in the store so you go back to your job and you start working.

You work hard, you work long hours, maybe you work for a whole year, maybe you work 5 years, but you save up the money and 1 day you walk into that store and you pay the money and you walk out and that bicycle is mine.

What's the difference in those 2 feelings?

Since your bicycle either way, right you got it you ride it whenever you want to it's your bicycle But it's all different isn't it now it might be even more thrilling to ride the stolen bicycle Than to ride the bicycle that you paid for but which 1 is more fulfilling You see it's all different The piece of paper is not the difference.

It's the commitment, the love relationship.

You see, when people have sex when they're not married, the bottom line is they're stealing from each other.

They're cheating each other and both of them know this is not an act of love.

You cannot make love outside of marriage because it's not love when you're stealing from each other.

I'm getting what I want, you're getting what you want.

Maybe we care a lot about each other, but the more sex you have when you're not married, the more that tends to be your focus.

Just like the more physical involvement you have, the less you communicate.

The more you try to build intimacy, the less you actually have.

Now some of you, I know you've already made the mistake of having sex outside of marriage and it's a tremendous disappointment, but it doesn't mean that God cannot restore your gift of purity.

We're going to be talking about that a little bit more tomorrow, but I just want to encourage you, you know, you can feel like, I've lost it now.

My wedding night isn't going to be beautiful because I didn't save myself anyway.

God can give beauty for ashes, And there's nothing that he cannot restore and make beautiful again.

But for those of you who haven't made that mistake, don't.

You know, I was just in this panel discussion at Southern, and Brandy, 1 of the others in the Panel we were you know there were 3 couples up in the front and the students could ask any question They wanted to ask and 1 student wrote in the question Did you have premarital sex?

I think they were just kind of trying to goof off and embarrass us, but Brandy said you know what yes, I did and she started to cry and she said, I'm so sorry that I did it.

It was before I was a Christian and I'm so sad about it, but she said, sex with my husband is a million times better than what I had before I was married.

And I praise God that she had the courage to stand up and say that.

I couldn't have said that since I didn't experience that myself.

But because she made a bad choice, now she can witness to others and help them.

And God will do just, you know, this is something I see over and over when the devil has a club and he's beating us with it we give our lives to Christ, Christ takes that out of the devil's hands and he hands it to us and he says now you go beat the devil with it.

And God will give you the gift of using your testimony to help other people and encourage other people in their walk with Christ.

Now I want to share with you something that I think has been really meaningful for me in understanding how beautiful it is to have the sexual relationship that God has designed, and how cheap the world makes it, but how hard it is to distinguish.

I want you to imagine that your body is a house.

Your whole life you've lived in this house.

This house is where you spent every second of your life.

You know every corner of this house except 1.

There's 1 room that you've never gone into.

That room is the room that will someday link your house with the house of your best friend for life.

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Series

Alan and Nicole Parker - Happily Ever After: Finding True Love, God's Way

Getting Ready for Your Wedding Night

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

When it’s not Good for Man to be Alone

1h 9m

A God Worth Knowing

08 Building a House for My Wife

54m

You’ve Got to Know Somebody

43m

If You Love Me

45m

Alan and Nicole Parker - Happily Ever After: Finding True Love, God's Way

Relationships Question and Answer

1h

A Call to Revival

Building a House for My Wife

56m

Personal Relationships with Significant Others

56m

In the Beginning

35m

A Season of Preparation

37m

My Single Joy

1h 14m

OYC 2012 Plenary Sessions

Parables in Marriage: Wedding Pictures

32m

Plenary

11 Even So

48m

Sound Doctrine