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Sacred Intimacy: Sex and Spirituality

Alan Parker

Hosting its seventh annual conference, GYC's 2008 theme this was "For This Purpose." How do we find this purpose? By listening to and studying God's Word. Featuring inspirational speakers such as Justin Kim, Randy Skeete, Radim Passer, Chelsy Jourdan, Alistair Huong, Doug Batchelor, and more, this conference leads us in studying how we can reflect Christ's character.

Presenter

Alan Parker

Professor of missions and evangelism and director of Pierson Institute of Evangelism at Southern Adventist University

Conference

Recorded

  • December 18, 2008
    10:45 AM
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fundraising deal with this very intimate part of allies and as we have a group of young and older people Z who are grappling with how sexuality relates to this spirituality help us to find the answers to how to become a whole person to surrender this part of a licensee because we know that ultimately you do us and you want that kind of intimacy with us we thank you for this in Jesus name is I noticed today that six has become a productivity notice that everyone in all every store you going to yesterday I'm try to work my presentation and a video on an appliance and how to have a woman who is revealing more than she should reveal she had the book of Revelation and so I had to turn my eyes when I gone I can like that I'm working on holding us back and yet we have six is become a product reviews and salary I believe in him big sexy hair you know everything is about sex these days I put it on these bulletins they are the type that is on the billboards everyone is trying to sell sex and other use sex to sell an item that's great in question now is six hole lead on the devil is such a hold on sixth it looks like you got the one in hand right so this is one of my beautiful children and as children grow up believing into the sky above pots on their body sometimes we don't openly today solid into the composite body and Yunnan is my wife she's going to make a little enhancing on and then my child going Jesus bid to make a little knowledge to use as anything doesn't make it little penis Jesus says and I like what I wear hold on honey to make it little penis is going to file this but the reality is she said I morning and to see that hi mate then sexual why do we run away from this and let the devil control the reckless acts why is it that we think we can behold images not told about six God made us sexual and so he made us that way how do you know why I got it been six load my life would've been so much easier if I didn't have to struggle with glass divided have to look at God 's creation in that kind of way and so we struggle with you know what's appropriate in a way to you when you merely appreciating and when are you lusting after you know what you did God make me this way why seek God had a plan for sex and the demo has stolen a march on us God 's plan for sex was to bring people together in the most intimate way possible when God plan for sixty signals not just enough that they have a unity of their minds it's not just enough that they have a unity on their emotions I wanted to have a unity of their bodies and so he designs an act that creates a kind of unity but even get that special holiday God 's plan at some point in your life 's currents to clarify this six of the parable you see it represents in this one six is a powerful it represents the story of God 's relationship with us a parable is something that illustrates a divine truth and what is the divine truth that six illustrates that God desires such an intimate relationship with us that everything will have to be removed to achieve that relationship 's effects when you look back to to how God made it sex is not possible wearing clothes now I know we can have sexual thoughts and you doubt the sexual act is something that occurs when calls are removed by knowledge sometimes these days people attempt to do it with clothes on but these the idea rough sex the way God made it he made Adam and Eve and they were vacant now we understand from spirit of prophecy that they were closed in a rubble of life but they were essentially negative and so how did we move from the sense of being able to be this vulnerable with each other and now weigh six is such a problem we have to go back to the Garden of Eden thank you arresting dog in dance this incredible thing and we know what are the two things that come to us from the Garden of Eden anyone know the two institutions they come to us without even married in the Sabbath and so we dealt with the Sabbath in the last presentation this presentation will looking at marriage I would looking particularly had how God into his into a relationship with his people and how he descends into the relationship with the jealousy creates a beautiful institution and something goes horribly wrong what was what was in that caused this beautiful care to send me enough and such from disobedience they chose their own way of God 's will that shows that it would be better for them to answer into their all relationships with themselves to do things the wrong way to manage things their way to achieve gospel this is their way and as a result tragedy came and found items looking for Adam and Eve and he calls out at Ad-Aware on you and without undoing he is hiding anything she comes out he has this fascinating section Genesis chapter three his response to God as I was and got to know why we audiences I was ashamed because I was naked so I heads I was ashamed because I was naked so I hit just discovered about sexuality sexuality even if not then God 's way causes shame an enormous sexuality courses outside of God 's welcome was assigned now I was making this such a problem now he says he was ashamed because he was naked he was fine before you know he was going out there was voting on judges love the way they do the pictures that you know very appropriately and so you have the sense that he is naked he is unashamed immediately this is a sign why was the nakedness of problem now why was a problem this they knew the difference I knew something had gone wrong yes what else they no longer have to like every other this is an external thing so what what's going on internally shame and guilt there is suddenly the sense of separation and there is no sense of vulnerability because yes what happens when sixes engage outside of God 's will tell you I understand be honest today announced to make the correlation to holiness when we engage in sex outside of God 's will we become vulnerable because now suddenly we face rejection is no longer that seems off total covenanted commitment and hold us together as an exempt trust without the total covenant commitment whether it's a stranger on the Internet whether it's a lifeless in a boyfriend or girlfriend outside of God 's covenants suddenly we become vulnerable because there is not that commitment is outside of God 's will and so after the sexual act comes shame not to know that you are fighting we walked down this path before there's probably no one in this room who does not understand what I'm talking about after the sexual act outside of God 's will come shine and notice what this causes so was sent out is how we handle Los Angeles she was hiding that is avoiding the issue that I don't have a problem to what went from now I know we going to notice how people put on their holiness and Sabbath mornings this article of the holy side effects because I get back fence and if I can master comes up the hallways they have never mentioned outside but on Sabbath morning image of five hundred times behind it N/A that you have this whole holiness of the world to join the week is this private part of this is all what he knows what is going on is his private box but I get on Sabbath morning and you would think they are assigned directly translated from we have a real challenge with our sexuality because we never talk about it we hide it behind it we avoid Egypt's second thing that happens is we can do masks we try to fix the problem us outside how do we mask when they do they tied together fig leaves and I know that without any siblings were little bigger but I let that sink reasoning using a victory the reason I bring that that's what they have to sew them together have you ever tried selling the leaf is in this is not a very evicted wise enough and what happens to leave that you think this is in the posts son world itself the diets also crumple up and saw our extensive fixing it often felt even maybe is was am never going to do that again yeah we go through that analysis and LOI speaks about the seasons are promises all I rose off sand we hold on to them and they just crumble beneath nothing busily trying to fix it we've got to fix this problem all you do you know honey I just wanted to give with a significant happen again and i.e. it's totally misses down week this is not happening it's like anyhow sexy you look tonight we find that out on solutions often fail miserably and that ultimately is blaming always making excuses is not my fault about things that happened you know if you have yes that would have singularly means an open this would not haven't been it if you hadn't warned address that's why I fell if you'll brought ahead list of an inopportune time so we had these excuses that we make for why we fall into sexual sin and why and how we handle our same I want to step back for a moment and look to God 's plan God said that he wants to relations with us and he compares it to a relationship with his bride he says Los Angeles of you with a godly jealousy for I have espoused you to one husband how we husbands one has the visit has been Jesus Wright that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ is it important to God for his church to be like a Virgin why is that why can we discuss sleeping around it I have had some time with God sometime with a wealth of what difference does it make any God loves us anyway right about what God wants you see he wants wholehearted devotion mixed manic guy and I said you know so when you get married and he said you know it in the right time I said well I you know whatever how you handing the sexual side United was the honestly some people just to see what they do and so he says I'm saving myself for my wife I said to give many instances know that she's saving herself for me and I feel I need to do the same with God he wants our wholehearted devotion with others we should have that same wholehearted devotion with it we all need to be like a chaste virgin for Christ nine also wasn't going well you know it's too late for me that vision thing that disappeared in a crap like this the chances are that wanted to as a ready has this is what I look out and I realized that whenever people say that while God by Natalie now I decide that stimulates but I believe that just like with every problem that sin has brought into the world God can change and transform situation doesn't exactly make you a new creation creation he can change as a rest so you may have been in a place where you go you may still be a vice music I I am not following this model of sexuality I am not following we got event communities about I believe that God can influence made us is what happens at odds with this but when we come to Christ it says that we aren't just as if we and medicine is that we are transformed not because we also righteous but because Christ thinks is a holy life and he puts in our place so the question is ninety how do we have that kind of relationship with God now again on comparing sexuality with the relationship with God I believe God is pursuing a relationship with us he is like a lava longing for us I sometimes even that of the hounds of heaven he just hounds is now not lose us have you experienced that before when he was viewing the situation and you will I got I don't want to deal with you I don't want you right now and just religion back and letting fighting fecundity was seen by you wanting out of place and what is to follow events and God brings you here anyway and something begins to happen on your hockey start hearing the Holy Spirit prompting you thought is like a levy he's leaving the gifts that you don't say I'm still in the jazz arose remember me he's starting to speaking the Holy Spirit is working with you because God desires a relationship with you that's why the song of songs made it into the Bible I never thought about that and I know you've never read some of some publicly that when you privately in your lieutenant by the it's great when we finally get engaged there is a rich cherry tree and saw the Sox some you have people marriage but generally it is rich to retrieve it to use annual ministerial new boyfriend or girlfriend why did God put that in there quite a vote this calls romantic book into the Bible because it represents his relationship with us and it they represent house wants to this USA and represents his left breast and now wholehearted love better than the one he had means to know he would've been in the Bible and add a new ease that doesn't mean he sat down and had a conversation with a because out of that came K so at when adding new Eve that was nice that that word means a sexual relationship you understand so what are we talking about when God it says that Satan will yet means we ought to know God in the same way God wants to know last it is a relationship that he calls us into the Pentagon is really saying I want to be so close to you just like the man is with a woman that's the kind of closeness of God through worship with us so sex on saying is a beautiful experience that comes through vulnerability we have to be united with the love and it ultimately results in oneness and instead the devil has given us an alternative CSV alternative look at Ms. magazine the ultimate thrill for you and your guy I mean you you can read it all at a area but I know you never look at these magazines on the way out of this but you you you may have glanced at him in passing and you see all of these things is about how to have the world 's sexiest bodies how do I how to do this and that with your partner everything is not about a relationship and a oneness inside of a covenant it's instead about getting satisfaction before this is not about a ministry to the Oedipus myth of life asexuality is is a ministry all relationships instead it's about as well it's about getting the kind of thrill you can get anywhere you can get this five five five hundred different techniques to see I can get more of its wealth and it doesn't work I listen to the guys disaffirm always some way people are beginning to feel that what makes a strong man is a guy can be passage of the ultimate lover I was able to do this on the net I was really passionate I want to say that what makes a strong man is not the intensity of your feelings but your ability to control those feelings what makes a strong man is somebody who can recognize what's happening with his feelings inside I need to get out of here the Bible says to fully youthful lusts and instead I was in Seabrook island that he says we don't run away from sin we can't crawl away hoping to catch up with us six has been made boring my accounts and I'll tell you why what happens is because were any of the thrills if you really want to have a thrilled the something forbidden visit the individual disabled to think you had a thrill which a different you have we have an indication that it is through processing machine it was a sudden thrill of this feels good doesn't feel good to come on now don't be honest with me it doesn't feel good is it so what happens and feels really good for a while but then after the thinning of the way it feels good what comes next the guilt and shame so these two things come back so what happens is we even go back looking for another thrilled to get rid of our guilt and shame cycle of addiction that this time that thrilled we got before just doesn't quite do it so we're going to go farther I was reading the story on a testimony of a person broken out in ethnography and what they said was initially it didn't take much to get the material but the more a morning onto pornography over there a time you started to use its thrill factor and next thing they were going deeper and deeper until ultimately he started looking for a prostitute because now even the Internet couldn't just throw you funny so that the world 's method the devil 's method is to make six morning so white it becomes a tool but we keep looking for something that never satisfied makes us weak and wanting more that which never fails we can looking and looking but we just don't achieve it and as a result when we get into a real marriage point of real intimacy with God something goes wrong to follow that's what happens as we had to throw outside of marriage and he was losing them and my wife and I counseled many couples and we found those who have sex outside of marriage was kind of exciting it was forbidden they get into marriage and send me six loses its through why because it doesn't have that from the factory it's not it's not closeted it's not the excitement of no one else knows about this with sneakiness and so it loses its satisfaction this is the devils the same thing however happens in our relationship with God one of the reasons why holiness is not effective these days is because we have substituted a fake intimacy nowadays like we are using music to create a false sense of excitement in our worship services in order that we can have an intimacy with God which isn't ready that we have to manufacturer it can we get instantaneous intimacy with God high feelings but when the music fades so does the experience and so is that having a relationship with God this book of prayer and Bible study and a real ongoing relations with him we rely on a quick fix on the Sabbath morning to take care of the problem such a desire to get a quick fixes maybe it's a good thing the reality that we face is that unless we have genuine relationship with God 's sake instant intimacy functions one work that he will gone shopping hungry the letter will use than three times what Jesus says that Sunday no I can't know what it ought by all this way but you are hungry right the same thing occurs the devil creates a false excitement within us and we go looking for how we can fulfill that excitement to run will looking up and realize we have been programmed to look for the wrong thing does this make sense so wherein the shopping market of life and we are programmed to buy the wrong thing because the way we are so what are we going to do with this hunger there is this hunger inside of ourselves we know we go to fill it so easily with the first thing does anyone have an empty water bottle that I can temporarily used by designees not to be sensing foramina tried this this will look as it still does anyone have an empty one yet he can bring it up right there we go my wife will deliver at ninety model may never look the same this is one of these fine fellow models are right so what happens is it's kind of like this if you have when you find on the plane maybe you had a water bottle which is the letter carried on and that you get down to the ground and what's happened to one of it's it's it's not a problem right why does it have a problem what's going on inside of it it's not a vacuum is connected with an information vacuum inside now when you get down to the bottom you notice it does not look very nice the same thing happens in our lives we have with challenges in our lives because we have an emptiness inside and because that emptiness is not filled out lies laconic crumpled the event looked like they got challenges that when you get down to the bottom after you get off the airplane you open up a bottle and when you open it up what happens if it fills the vacuum what is it silent with yeah what happens to be in the vicinity right so Cialis how it works in our lives we need to suck in God 's water that women to be filled with we need to fill out buys up with his love so that we are not filling allies was anything else that is around because it is not what happens we have a lot of hunger and next thing he outcomes I dry many year ago any of a lot of hundred seconds of dialogue and like a magnet you're attracted to him because you think he's going to do what Philip the whole but because he's a human being myself instead when you can fill it up with something you begin to go deeper and deeper into intimacy hoping that this next level of intimacy is somehow going to fill that hole and half a dozen novels and so we end up more and more addicted hoping to fill that hole and it's never fails and so what we need to do is to fill the love we need to get into relationship with God and this I believe is why God created us for God created us for intimacy with himself she made a covenant with us if you go throughout the Old Testament you'll find a specific company the phrase that comes up over and over again I will be there God and they shall be my people what does that imply between God and the people a relationship and you can go through the Bible we want to all of it down Genesis Jeremiah Ezekiel Zechariah you find this phrase over and over again I will be they got they will be my people I will be they got they will be my people it has this idea that God is injuring into relationship with us people were able to century says that the bill the century that I may dwell among them he wanted a relationship New Testament he brings us into a relationship with himself now notice the context of this it's going to use it what gives answer your sixth deal with estimates of the second printing is one since I dealt with the first printing is one of the last section second Corinthians chapter six and one agreement have the temple of God with idols for me on the temple of the living God as God has said I will dwell in them and walk in the imagination and I will be there God and they shall be my people using the covenant of rice therefore what is his wherefore come out from among them and be separate says the Lord and touch on the unclean and I will receive you and will be a father and you and you shall be my sons and daughters says the Lord Almighty what God wants is a relationship with us amen and so now I know some here thinking that that would be great but the closer I come to God the more attentive idea having the experiences you have you noticed off I wish I could do it so that no one would be honest in the set otherwise I would assume it would be that's how many Adventists have the greatest amount of temptation on a Saturday night Janet Hall Sabbath no appraisal on how they are looking to do that once the good news and then I get the is angry and unable why is it that after we've had an experience with God we feel a need to back off why is it that when we become so close that we have to run away and when I thought about that I said you know what it makes sense to me the problem is because my life is basically secular I feel like it's in all the bells and I get to my spirituality I had enough juice to date thank you I get my full twenty four hours which is more than the guy 's got to do tomorrow and so I done twenty four hour and I am spiritual reality out to citizens with anyway I find only now I have a Muslim death is because our relationship with God is not on what we know we can handle twenty four houses down the way to have a great Sabbath experience is to begin on Sunday items and keep sending notice to begin on Sunday and as you begin a relationship with God throughout the week it changes you now God has a covenant in his covenant was to be with us so what he does when you read that the covenants he has the size I will be their God they will be my people but it includes something what is the new covenant they might give me the new company decided that I will write my laws on the on the minds and on the hots right so what God really wants to do is to transform us to a holy relationship so that we can become one with him doesn't make sense the new covenant is when it becomes in Sunil and most people I meet with external so a relationship gets defined by what they didn't do you know we exist but we didn't do this we we did this so we can do this instead of me being defined by a relationship should be defined by I have God 's law written on my heart and in my mind doesn't make sense it is a relationship with God writes himself into ask is what is lot represents his character of love so as he writes that character of love into it it begins to change the way we write to God God wants us to truly know him yet down to millions ID proposal intimacies so that he can be with us that as soon as you depart outside of God 's life problems so I wanted to do a little review for those of you who went to the last session what makes up who is holy I mentioned before that follows us around the burning bush and what made that Groundhog Day was God 's presence so what makes something holy as God 's presence he fills us and when God fills us let me tell you this is him missing the Samuel saying I just need something one window to enter my wife and since please can you pray for me since sure what you want me to pray about she says I need a boyfriend please pray that I will have avoided other than white bread I don't have a boyfriend and you and I love you the challenge is that we want intimacy and we can't seem to find it at all the time as they say I see how my child I want that intimacy with UConn can't drink from me the water of everlasting life will last when you drink of me in fact it will become streams of water flowing off the problem with sexuality is that it is selfish but when we come to God was so filled with him sex becomes a ministry job partner and suddenly six and inside of marriage is different from sex outside of marriage in this way because sex outside of marriage is about fulfilling my desires six of the inside of marriage is about the mobile flow of love uniting two people together as they ministered to six is not about thrills do not listen to Hollywood is a look at retirement we did this experiment we said Edwin class one day when I was a theology student of theology professor said I just want to ask a question all of you who are single how often do you think you'll be having sex in marriage so we like with the juggling probably every day and then leads into the married guys and he said and how often do you have some marriage once twice a week we like you kidding to add this one right there at climbing is it all and when we realize that sexuality inside marriage is different it's an this is hot as that which does not revolve around sex mistakes can be the height of intimacy in a marriage we have a great booklet six begins in the kitchen is not what you think the idea here is that sex begins when you start washing the dishes you follow it it's a ministry it is a ministry whereby you can use us in this idea that you I don't even like some of the thoughts in the book is every man's Battle because sometimes the idea was that while you can have it now wanted you to have everything electric sanding away all updates eleven ten his wife is never a good idea of eating too much candy the whole idea of having candy is that it's special casino in the agency was tell since you have to go without sex for these the week sometimes to why because of the click cleaning the schools that they had back then but I think that it was negative statement when you connect together if you know it was great so the idea of sex is that it is a ministry is not a thrilled you follow that they don't portal will yield your future imaginations open to the future one hand I have everything I want to know is that something how can I live that kind of life that I can send six into a ministry courses Kennedy grants unlimited denies the Amish yarmulkes that you will be single be satisfied in Hawaii about six is not that great anyways Christianity is not like the rest but I even writes that outside of God 's will is shameful and so we needed to run I do not want the devil to get the glory by taking us to shame and guilt of hygiene and masking and blaming it excusing instead I want to restore safe and safe as God made your penis got manual vagina she made you that way and when you do things according to the key will bless you can I want to describe Justice Rosalie at a fire him notice how God wants that to be reflected in his own relationship with us John seventeen that they may all be one as thou father on in me and I am in the end that they might also be wanted us that the world may believe that thou hast sent me what kind of unity is that we ought to have the same year the team with with Christ that Christ had with the father is not phenomenal and odd event but we are to have a kind of unity with it with others and the glory which something is not given in the vanity why even as we all won Ironman endowing me that now may be made perfect in one and it will may know that thou has sent me and I love them is ours let me and then he goes on to say he says sanctify them make them holy by thy truth thy Lord is now some people try and have intimacy without the basis of God 's word you will never have genuine intimacy that went true intimacy comes when Christ shares his love in our hearts when we can minister to each other and when ultimately we are able to be won on the basis of truth and love the something since so you probably seen a book a while that hottie has the idea that God is pursuing us and that we ought to pursue God I'm not going into too much detail in so God desires us to this union he wants the all-consuming desires of your heart instead of focusing on the opposite sex I am making a call yesterday focus on God with your romantic attachments attractions to attack attachments God let yourself be so caught up with who the audience development love relationship with God then you don't need a guy or girl to make yourself happy that they shocked that people who are unhappy before marriage is like they are unhappy after marriage him race is not suddenly make you happy the Hollywood thing was they were unhappy to have a document in a makeup day they get married anyone lives happily ever after and since you don't have to get married inbox that kind of concept is not true I'm not a person will never make you happy it is God and longsleeved the students he wants to fill you with his presence to make you holy he wants to send the Holy Spirit to you so that you may be one with him just as Jesus was now the challenge with this is the challenge of our hearts can you trust your heart nowhere does the Bible say journalism it says the heart is deceitful above all things something interesting on when you when you get a tingle so someone semi- works fine in all animal loves racing use any of you know I have I just done while he don't thought are you going anywhere right now so that the heavyweight attracted to lose it's just just be honest and not visiting infected to lose on raising my hand and thirty one notice I was just attracted to one of the different just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean that you should marry them what we need to do in this is that is that we need to say I will have totally God as my centerpiece I'm going to make him the number one and this will help us understand this Matthew five is a blessing on the CR in half with a Silverlight C God if we have insurance including sexual impurity we are hiding God 's face from us that you find this resume twenty eight England it was a dish on commit adultery but I say to you Jesus says that everyone who looks in woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart there is a heart problems yet when we follow our hearts our hearts and deceitful instead we need to say knowing God I can trust my heart I need something gets what I need a hot transplant John will begin to change things because otherwise the other two dogs this problem of how desires and then there is the way God desires us to be so yes the problem unless less than the Bible is not just sexual it simply means the Zion but less is often given the connotation of specifically desiring to have something outside of God 's will so when we deal with less than the Bible the problem of the high is that it desires the wrong thing right so yeah I know I desire this process and I I know I should maybe it's on the computer and I desire I said I just identify system what can I do I'm struggling with this one got a wrong desire what am I to do I can ignore it drying I is is fine doesn't really matter it makes a difference I can go into gilts saw the one side I can say I am getting listened to be permissive on the other side I can go into the guilty part of the one guy saying to me you know I just feel terrible he was the right exit Weiss as well I wanted to eat the eggs today unlike UK will did you did know but I wanted to terrible now the reason why felt terrible I can put two and two together was because he is he connected the eggs with sexuality that this would increase his sexuality as a thought if I decided it was because I wanted to increase place my sexual whole month and that's that and so seen this before desiring it is not as guilty and gasoline I will really want to tell you all let the devil when twice if you've already engaged in sexual set no let the devil beat you up with full skills how do we handle sexual sin if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us all unrighteousness so what God wants us to the White House come into relationship with him for sexuality with outside of government begins the fact that relationship so why we engaged in premarital sex well you know you can get a bunch of answers is quick to shut them out when we engage in premarital sex pregnancy got Tennessee Austria is this these very good White House emotional trauma when you caused the person ending and break it up it's emotionally traumatic yes what else NTSC a huge agent sexuality but it never fills the need when asked disappoint God it results in shame and guilt so we know many reasons about why sexuality is a challenge but is it a little back to how do we overcome that now some people trying on account I will not do this again I will not do this again if I will not I will not I will not I will I will will the wings that site again and so we struggled because we trying to overcome it by works how do we actually solve this problem we engage in a relationship with God we fill out loud how do we deal with the Romans not the fruits and I found a love relationship takes for things time have you ever had a relationship with Sony wasting our time with them how long would that relationship last I found a relationship takes surrender giving up on you all you can call that sacrifice giving up of the on desires and be willing to follow and be willing to surrender yourself to the other person I found it takes focus it must be an outcome for this relationship where you headed ladies I'm sick and tired of guys who still try to figure out they figure out their minds about with their lights were not by men and guys untitled ladies and do the same thing in a man all rights I relationship takes intimacy and the way God is those relationships is that there is racing intimacy which results in oneness so what are we to have this electronic book in relation with the argument needs high units to serenity and Steve and I need to have an established focus even in the growing intimacy if something is missing here your relationship with God 's be challenged right saw what we do with admiring God 's creation resale right I'm having a relationship with you are getting close to you this but then I see a beautiful specimen of God 's creation one why do the problem is not admiring but desiring a man it is not that I admire about what happens with my desire is when I move from knowing God 's will weigh living his love flow into my hot so changes my desires that to my last when I start designing something so for me to see Arriaga myself in trouble once as I will lady John McCain was was running along the road we were driving past and before I source you know that opening the mouth and releasing the clutch before the brain was in gear before I could think I said well she's got such nice cost and recall with me like when Jesus said and I like why I want I may live and I started digging a hole was that we really need to start working out I is not working out in and was deskbound masking out what was happening is that I had in my annihilator on we we we drove past a guy who is running and Isaac Manna guys let's go caps and some are likely submissions is either not been released Neil makes a watering system for us so the issue with beauty is not to say that this is beautiful that's not the issue but do you desire that person in a way that is outside of God 's will is you are you need to I think the issue is not the act we haven't gone all the way that the attitude behind the act was the honest many of us have committed adultery in our hot dry people who break covenants do so because it starts in the high belly so he comes to me and says you know I cheated on my wife and and as happens in a number of times counseling life I look at that and I say this did not begin with a single temptation this was a process by which the covenant was being broken down over a period of time this is why pornography is a terrible because using pornography as soon as I get married but that's a lie because what happens is you have built the foundation of satisfying yourself instead of ministering to the other person is outside of God 's will in all riparian talks and we trace into many marriages that the beginning of the problem-solving Delta responded with pornography and eventually it results in the act because out of the half the mouth speaks so when we look at the last we see that is a progress in the note from James chapter one it is a last when it is conceived brings forth sin and sin when it is fully conceived brings forth this there is a process yet we begin with the desire and we saw dwelling on the desire and over a period of time eventually that desire results in an act saw how we deal with the problem of sexual sin how do we restore this covenant with God without us how we can go through this process when we begin what we needed to deal with the desire nice yes the problem you cannot change your heart that it would get me on that you cannot change on you on the next time a beautiful woman walks by you cannot change your heart so what can you with that are there really docs sunglasses all right then they would never allow that you may run into the buildings what can you do you can he was one of the stations down to write Sophia pray so yet that is what one really begins with the scan retraining your designs and that doesn't happen just by yourself you need the Holy Spirit to give you the power to do this you cannot change the hot that you can choose who to give your heart to you have the power of choice you can make a decision I cannot change my heart but I can give up my son polluted hot panic set new designs from Jesus and all repaired times things can change I remember one example of a one of our friends who had been engaged in homosexuality for about twenty years and he ended up going on three ABN and as he was speaking with Danny Shelton Danny self-interested themselves living it straightened out he was always very direct visit with it straight so you really used to look at man men like to cut us look at them and value notwithstanding how's that possible and he said what you feed grows what you saw dies before the way to do with sexual sin is to begin to stop it now in the next section we going to deal with starting up an extension at all final section today we've got to deal with practical ways in which you can deal with we gain victory over sin you can deal with the sexual problems but in this particular section I just want to deal with the overall conscience and to say we need to train our desires to focus on the things of God when he returns and other cultural riches we are broken marriages and perversions sexual self gratification leads only to an ever increasing desire for something more exciting and never-ending constantly disappointing quest distance in an dissolution and despair right six there is the this time in six out of eleven play emergency units in one is that transcends the two individuals and results in a procreative act so I don't know to skip through a couple yet is for the sake of time and I want to move to the spots the rendering sexuality when we surrender our sexuality to God it becomes a gift analysis the devil is taken on sexuality and made us slaves would you agree with slaves to fashion but what God does is that he takes that sexuality and he restores it to us without God six loses its ministry becomes just another reward center in our brains sheep six results using the same same incident threatens our covenant with those that are common with God Adam and Eve as we said were ashamed of their nakedness that broken the covenant but what God does when we had our sexuality to him he hands it back to us now let me tell you a remarkable story my wife as you manhood of previous one she experienced sexual abuse and we worried when we were getting married like what system do not marriage is how we got to be able to have a good part of our management husband to marry her anyway amen but it would be not still exist to have that side to since I will like what I have been here twenty ten God gave the gift of sexuality back to us we determine when we were dating and we would come in and out lies the Ghana physical part of our relationship to God and we did not just until our wedding day I met and John took that sexual gift and headed back to us and we now know what it means to have six without shame God wants our holy relationship with you anyone should have a holy relationship with us and I believe he can give it back to you amen I believe that if you surrender it to God he can do something him and I wasn't sure in high digit modify run only those who have surrendered their hearts completely to Jesus that he alone may remain in him only those whose hearts are undefiled by their own evil and by their own good she was well now that's got sex in marriage so what happens is the very same here if you want to be pure the way to become fuel is not to ignore your sexuality but instead to hand it over to God in fact he says you need to have good relationships with the opposite sex amen it's when you are you hiding from the opposite sex and sexuality becomes the voted and so instead of desecrating the sexual relationship we need a Wheatstone to its sacredness we need to get away from the instant intimacy and go unnoticed at three yeah because I've more than I can deal with this and I want to quickly deal with this idea of leaving and cleaving it takes time to build genuine intimacy selected piece of wood and he will put two pieces of wood together you grew them together and I just remind everyone to turn off their cell phones but I have you ever have you ever going to be some would together what happens when you try and pull them apart pieces of the one piece of wood a list on the other piece of wood right so what this happens in sexual intimacy is that we are growing two pieces of wood together bonding and and instead want at what we do these days as we have sexual relations with multiple people have you tried to glue another piece of wood to the first piece of what it's hard to do because they're all there omits some cases of blue and the all peas would suck on this piece of what God says that when we are sexual we unite with another person we become one within the when we break that we carry pieces of that person with us and they impact on our new relay as someone else so what is God asking us the native will never leave and cleave God wants to take his grind around his wood plane around and entangles those holds chips and to bring healing and is going to take time if we want to restore relations with him with others this can be a process where he planes us down through trials through self understanding and then when we read these you can take us someone just another piece of wood this is the same thing with that is God is at the center of that sexuality is restored to its right place we surrender our sexuality to God and he cleanses us I want to share final story is when you when I was in college I had a relationship that I put in the place of God and in this relationship I was like this post and is everything to me in fact I even considered giving up theology my study of theology just like to be with us this she had become an idol in my life and well we didn't go the way they would definitely cause of our relationship that was sexual if on I remember going through that experience of shame and deals night after night site I I know this is wrong this relationship is not going in the right direction but some I figure it out I love you too much to leave and it so happened that she went away and she ended up getting another boyfriend and coming back and saying to me it's over but I was bonded with and I could wiggle and so now not only did I have a broken heart I have bonds and I remember praying with God please bring hope back into my life this is if you told me that's the wrong Poirier Dupree should be unwilling to surrender this part of my life to you and so over a period of time I did that and as I surrendered my life to God he began change me from the inside out to prepare me for that confidence that one day I can make with my wife when God can bring us some costs that he can give the gift of six back to us praise his name thought you got I want to thank you that CF even though was struggling a little sin is Lord Whipple struggled with sexuality you have asked us to surrender this to help us to make a covenant with our eyes that we will not look at anything that causes us to send instead load we surrender our sexuality to you we believe that you will give it back to us in your time and annual way the heart of the problem law is that we have not given our hearts to you so Lord prepare us to be a sanctuary to be filled with the presence we asked us Jesus Pena this is my audio restaurants a generation or you would like to learn more about G1 the W and the life that God will work like this is an online service is www. audio birds are a lot more

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