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Secrets To Staying Together

Israel Ramos Judy Ramos

Hosting its seventh annual conference, GYC's 2008 theme this was "For This Purpose." How do we find this purpose? By listening to and studying God's Word. Featuring inspirational speakers such as Justin Kim, Randy Skeete, Radim Passer, Chelsy Jourdan, Alistair Huong, Doug Batchelor, and more, this conference leads us in studying how we can reflect Christ's character.

Conference

Recorded

  • December 19, 2008
    10:45 AM
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him easier with us and were thankful that you that you chosen to spend his last workshop with us we really talking about seven secrets to having a happy is that we cannot get it yes different from the latest version of the seminar thing familiar and us had a wry sense of Israel which is Jason Todd a last-minute business thinking of this okay so we want the seven secrets that we've seen work in in our homes and owns a lot of people that we want to share with you today and if you're wondering what we have fumbled in his life is a little box is just the way of doing microphone systems is what we have a aggressive seminars I hear right ultimately lends some sort of threat following and was so thankful that you get into his homes and were thankful that you've given to us happiness be with the Lord as we seem to merge these two together gives you spirit and help us Lord to find ways in which we can strengthen the bonds of love that you given to us to our spouses are our children we bring Jesus name and just to like you as little as we have something whether you have been here and not in other seminars and is as old as my wife Judy and John were we we've been married for a little under five years and Dias is to jettison our house and why would you want to share some of his people at America like a hundred years I can do a better job as a no we want to know firsthand you know things not to do and that's probably where you're at right now so I shall still a juvenile we sat down together we identified three three three basic topics that we want to share with you the first one that we want to show you what is I just the foundations of the spiritual home of the matter someone and what constitutes anonymous on and his ministry as we address we address someone with three components of components of every home has a husband everyone has a wife and every home has ministries we look at those three things and what they mean in our last seminar we look at challenges that that homes and every home diseases of animals on the the glossy heavy home faces and must overcome will you talk about today the Lord now our seven secrets to staying together with Verizon see a lot more you can you mind was summarizing something less but regional centers is a physical number so you thought about in this in the seminar and I do mean there is an ethical because we are the spiritual aspect yesterday and it is all you need is that you know we love you guys were serving we want a certain network continually looking to him so in a meeting I very practical and it looked a bit like a workshop setting the only beginning in mind that the only thing is a spiritual relationship with God and that connection with him and yeah I think rather the film later not make them think that she did she seemed more like showing principles as yet efficient a lot of practical thing that either from her update home rule K and we reread their advanced home and as often as we can and every time you know we repeatedly and we read in there please realize that every Christian homes that have ruled and so we decided to take that literally nothing unlike rule that in our marriage K and workmanship femininity this idea you will be different for your home Billy given you any at personalities second sentence of indefinite life we have in mind that you are you have a better beginning then you can remember and come up with something I been down right you know we talk about it what what rules we want to have in our home and accountability even though you know you can be thinking of you needing and having been elected in a rule in our home and health line that we have is the use of language so we actually had to create Israel that there'll be no name-calling in our marriage I think that you know that bad not so bad name you know like you here are you in the early outbuildings the veteran Eric Coley said that even though were very angry because of a family on name-calling no yelling you know it but after waiting another week yeah like I think that the enemy may not be a problem for the efforts of a method for concealing the Navy and only speaking with respect to actually think that you exactly talk about the mountain the language thing is we want I want to move on it because the language thing is we are many of us overlook but if you I I talk to friends or other pastors even pastors and it seemed that even in all relationships sometimes language is a very of a very misused tool that we had in our homes there have been even ministers that we know we know love that I've used landlord of your loud language or even cursing in in in communicating with their spouses and this is the point the point at which time it was is is don't ever think that is beyond you because your Christian to say hey I would never ever ever do some mice that there could be sending some indicate that that will you are human made for some honest on if you're not careful that can escalate into something bigger than you imagine so we set out as a safety never ourselves listen never in our relationship isn't proper for us to raise our voice that our spouse to yell at them to call them bad names and especially in arguments or especially to even use foul language during the morale and we regenerate whatever there's no excuse for it as you probably like everything that is that they yell the price of capital that we have an sorry I is writing it down in your mind you creating community and what world I had in my life the same time to share your family doing time said that using technology that is not otherwise feel whatever works for you the thinkers something out you feel free sorry and I think now I can be like where in the middle I believe we very say feeling and how do you know that it all started when you know that gray and white parade now the praying and I don't even get you on your Mac you can't even pray together guilty the only thing there and then you bring a knife reconciled the Lord and he is the author and you just like any of the party but I made myself right though whatever it be I think what he's sorry for you and you know what you're thinking of you I'm sorry for doing a DVD in Vienna Eileen Gray you know you did it anyway I will know we had made a really good like doing that in the vertical you know that he actually comes away in my total surrender and repentant I'm sorry reaction in an already entry with the Lord so I did like the day I bring my significant again you know I'm sorry and I think that I I give them the benefit of the doubt we give each other the benefit that even I immediately be feeling very or I might not immediately I think I be no I'm really buy that at the end we we reconcile to eat we young big and frightening on site for everything that means I didn't hurt you and there's no need to explain what for take the one thing that comes up the last three we have a protocol for when we connect getting heated what to do because when we married and he liked that really superduper met each other bacteria we got married when we get heated you thought the room felt like oh no you got to start the room I believe in I fondly constantly eating out and out anyway and we created the degree of rule down in that role as you design what we deliver ingredient for him he told me that I have to leave I just need to cool down and you cannot follow and do not follow the leader now and really think of any volume you know we only get about that and so now I know annually never leave the house to know that we read they were not likely to with daylight all under English shopping and being about something you know you have explained that so what I know that when we get driving to anything any go down and I know that he needs to go away to another event like my feeling great I should probably start praying now in a you know and then we both pray and then when he's ready the company that you don't go looking after me I know when I'm ready to go back to delete items that the I praise you I know that my time to cool down and then he'll come to me that our personal protocol case that I don't go to sleep that you know Billy Elliott late things right even though it like related to each other like okay maybe all the rapid transit light you know only that figure particularly as he lined out and I take me out and indicating problems are rightly condemned from work I couldn't let like regular identity now because you let your checkbook and I don't like and I don't think about that are regularly laid out like a kid there even were the freedom that they solely network energy like the seminar now anyhow after dinner we cut out all the time and instead positive time for the family and we'll bring issue there are something given the fact that the bill down again and particular principle because of ninety three things on and behind the other things you'd like not to the teacher ball or something nagging at you differently that that we can't regulate wheat we needed a rule that you never argued though it may not be applicable to believe but you don't really affect the capability to note that the heated with we know right it done out we talk about after the date that we believe right now I'm really open down prematurely if you can elect not to get out of you and appointed you I think it's really good even to write it down you take what what works for you what what really you know what will make our home run smoothly and neither practical things are specific to your family and your at Soho and not only will you see therefore our Longhorn home rules are mostly therefore at times of conflict how do we respond when there is conflict in the home no love you you know you set up your own rules are that are specific to your home some of you that we do you might not agree with like a puppy you walk down the middle and argument don't imagine we might leave infinity site will come back and just sometimes it takes it takes just getting when the situation for a few minutes and then coming back to be able to reading things through without having to talk it over with someone also just you know mentally preparing yourself for whatever it is that you responsibility is so gerbils might be different from our rules and you don't or not ask you to mimic our rules would you saying that if you want to maintain a happy home the home must have rules that there has to be understandings that will both ways and there has to be commitment and and contracts for the global way so that when I respond this way you know why I'm responding this way and you know what to do when this way in times of conflict you have some that are not entitled coffin but as we set ourselves limit to his second way is say yes to privacy notice secrets there is a difference in our in our minds between privacy and secrets on what is does the principle that we draw from this is Seabrook says in one of his sermons there are some things you are not down anybody except Jesus son challenges in your life seventies are going on your mind do not give us the freedom just because they're in there to just let him not because our spouses is this close to us their settings and we just are are meant to keep inside our own minds our own hearts and explain those things are espresso season Jesus alone now on certain things business overbought with these endings are number one is the personal struggles my what in my house means an issue shall share with me in my struggles of my everyday life there are some struggles are what I have in my personal life sense of that she has in her personal life that no matter what she does and sharing those with me I'm not and it would help her and some ways that struggle might be hurtful right so there are certain things that I am to express to Jesus alone expressive Jesus alone you can when you might talk about what those struggles are your mind on the here to tell you that their son things you have to talk to London for the spouse I would say this is because her husband your wife doesn't tell you all of their struggles as a minimum on your that are not being open with you whether these closed people that are difficult to understand mysterious they just mean simply put certain things that that are shared with the self become a burden on the styles or become a bird on the relationship and that burden should be taken to Jesus and the Jews among selected as a thing of the things you is you cannot share but these are private when it involves the confidentiality of other people my line of work I get to talk with a lot of people bottom problems but the worst in that I can do is come home alive after someone has open the floor meeting struggles that make invulnerable and him for me to shut up my wife that has that that is called gossip so I have the privilege in my MI field of work my field of ministry to listen to people and people open up to us I am a lot younger than them their old mass in the same we have a problem with our marriage if I don't ensure that confidential item whether or not becoming he deceives up or not if I go back and I said I confident jibe with my with my spouse then the way that myself relates that person is different I just gossip I enjoy the confidentiality when a person so sometimes in my as a minister when speaking with someone and my wife and I also very corners all say is you mind if I share this with my wife so that we can pray for you common sense will tell you something he is on bring up you just keep yourself so don't gossip that it is also I cannot does not mean to your lender you are that you are a you are holding seekers that everything is when something is hurtful to yourselves now there's a there's a fine line between disappointments of these are just thoughts are certain things that you should communicate yourself whether or not it in our human are their feelings if your wife is your husband is on their way to to hell whether you are their feelings or not you should say something about it and whether certain things that you just keep to yourself be smart you have to be done in the fifth year if your spouse 's breath stinks you don't have to be a late night of their feasting or whatever you know brass is not always a messiness a you know what I do I love you so much if existing really bad to finish their studies you know you put on you put up with certain things you don't express sending you don't explains her things figuring everything out to me only put everything into entities Massey you better not tell them this is a nasty survivor rat onto all that is use common sense views judgment certain things that will hurt yourselves and are not necessarily related to the salvation of the rules of that person don't communicate those things you find that your home will be happy say no to are Satan 's a no secret but there are certain things that you ought to keep that you want to keep private lender things become a secret things become a secret when you intentionally withdraw information that will actually help your spouse or when you withhold information in order to hurt yourself okay that is what secret is a secret becomes a secret when you're going behind your sauces back to doing something behind her back on not wanting them to know for example I have this thing my wife copies us on the open already you don't everywhere every once in a while I think you you you been working all day want you to stay back at home all I wanted to give salty manual with me last summer to receiver he's on the guys cock will go on where you were were doing our thing as a singular the Dairy Queen launches the Lord delivered ice cream going kids are coming in each outages looking without tasting saw get some evening just to become home and above forget to throw in a cup you know so we get through withholding information from ourselves the deleted want to find out that the secret that's different from me going on say what was left in the shower do you budget you this evening to you forgettable dealer on today difference difference okay so don't be secretive with your spouse but you have to understand that there are certain that there is a certain element of privacy in the home for the individual you'll have to open yourself so much that that that that yourself knows everything about you and and feasibility we need to know about you okay okay why is fairly short selling see I got this a lot lately I feel we did and that in the first session in respect in the area the following quote from NFL and the great revolutionary thinking about it because they know that you know it's a secret we had the prettiest in other people will be very courteous you can come to our house or whatever but we can donate don't think it's a reality are developing is expected of us to be created like for there in the home for nobody's around particular he said Christians were to be issued rating in every household and she didn't have power to stop the nature which would grow hard and rough without it the cultivation of the uniform you see him so willing to deal by others as we would like them to Dubai at would vanish half the ills of life have available a of life so I think I really speak for itself but I can't really think of anything she just said so showing country you know how to do my best founder you have other people and nearly immediately near super nice and kind and you know you would think that an idea and fully outline of the breach and you know you start it I talked before like the wind of strike the angels slowly let go you are behind twenty villagers so close it because they love each other so closely like you know it should be actually the opposite the more deeper you love someone the more he should have patient and kind and courtesy and any because I don't think that it's okay to fight for the abnormal community I'm not saying that ninety five that horrible but that's not the ideal we should not let our standards so low night I feel to be a show that's coming through the end love him all the time energy develop and develop even more so as you grow closer together and are essentially hard and it affected your ideal type of friends page four twenty seven okay it says no to prevent to be followers of Christ and I think I'm rough on kind and courteous in words and department have not learned of Jesus the kind of some professed Christians is so lacking in kindness and care to be that good is evil spoken of any negligent any negligent act of politeness and tender regard confirmed habit which may or would make a character on Christlike but it's these little things are performed and if we performed well at the courtesy and kindness and politeness they become great thing they increase the large proportion and he agreed a sweet curfew in the life which I sang to God at all holy and the guys desire to be so athletic and lovingkindness all the time and you cannot build roads the great things even be seen little incredibly great thing on the contrary if we fail to do that don't feel growth me really bad thing you know they'll have to show you how to critically particularly in conflict and argument of fainthearted that we need to really surrender of the most and down beside him that you will be selfless and to working .net Christlike manner to which women were forgeries environment were looking at were looking at having for major things number one when you create a safe and my men a safe environment is a place where fear is eliminated one two there is simply trust the readers will sentence and for a creative environment that there is not a place like home welcome back will come back right to do so on you know there's there's something that really really struck me with my mildest boy on my whatever he does something wrong or whatever you sense that whatever he senses that he's done something that I might not like alcoholism and José Manuel is a daddy knows they meet the diagnostic me and discursive yet in order Rogers is looking as a don't you mistake me that he gets he gets really really stressed out now usually he's what he's going out the point in this experience where he has reason to be stressed out right he needs there's something you need to eliminate what it hit me me him that you love writing in love fear is eliminated fears eliminated now my boy still does not have the ability to understand the why it is that we spank him sometimes and sometimes we don't spank them sometimes you have the ability to understand that he stops disobeying that he won't get a spanking because it will make them visible that the power is in his hands to avoid a spanking but the point that would try to make is that in all home and in a safe environment fear is eliminated my wife took the car out one time and on we got what we and we were in in the upper Peninsula of Michigan it's like almost is like west of Chicago but still part of Michigan and I gets very cold up there and were likely in the boonies and when we were moving up there from Ann Arbor so it's to hold Michigan we need a car so her dad Jamie sale because our car he worked for a just retired and so you had a good plan so we went in there using it was his employee discounting we sit down or looking for a car we want four-wheel drive is working like the snow and the smell is like on the ceiling right now and we sit down when talking this lady and in my mind you not want like a loaded car less like we want the cheapest and on workout of like style McNally put this across I want such a different guy we need is just our loaded car please is a little scarf out of the milk -based model cars and all were going in there and were in the car we can find a car find a lead like her dad assist you what a floor model legal floor models are loaded right so that you have a flaw my suggestions for the floor model at the end of the day end up getting is like a super awesome discount that was the lowest of these models were both happy Romeo loaded car below the base model to work enjoy our current UB there's a lot of snow and and all and you don't have in the back of a little since it will be you you believe even where the snow was liking it so my wife reverses into my busy local she brings it in your SMS out right now is as you brings an end as easy and as soon as I get home he said Israel you be so mad at me I said why would you do write a lady probably right at the matter you're probably right and she said hey I got a car accident and the other the bomb run you will take as I can see her and she's all right and you are immediately immediately out of this product when you are like Amanda we just want the car is brand-new whatever whatever whatever I let in a safe environment in a safe environment fears eliminated and the point is this we made a commitment in our home that there is nothing too serious that we can not that that is there is that there's nothing we can do that is so serious of the consequence arsenal that that we should be afraid to share with our spouse nothing too serious that we should be afraid to share with our spouses this comes upon what we've made a commitment even if things should get sold that that an individual and almost fall to the worst extent and violate the relationship in the worst floor which is still feel open to bring that up the environment that you created is a safe environment so number one is in a safe environment fear is eliminated number two in a safe environment there is complete trust what do we mean by complete dress there are obvious flaws in my life there are obvious flaws in the life of my new job my wife closet we see in each other from day to day to day now we have we have in INR responsibilities my wife the teacher minister were in public view right when she goes in the classroom she has children I look up to her last church members that I preached to all the time how they need to be more like Jesus and he's a standard be like him we overcome ourselves here at home were totally different people right now because which is evil people just as were struggling humans right there are times where I'll get up to preach and has him sitting on top of the Ross from being myself Israel the message that you preaching anonymous is a you even live yourself and I think myself I don't want to preach this message got our preach this message be writing my hypocrite my wife knows him do these things I feel like such a hypocrite I'm thing and I want to say it advantages it is a you go up and say as if you don't unity and syllable later on judgment time not my people is a solemn responsibility so what happens is I know that when I get to preach and preach the message that I'm called to preach I and I and I perform my duties as I'm called to perform them that when I get home even the my life is not always in line with that which I preach because I'm struggling that there is a safety that there is complete trust that I'm not afraid that when my wife is having a conversation with her girlfriends easy to bring up volume has been a such a young DOE does lead is not reaching you see them at home I know that there is complete trust in our home so that I can be me and so that my struggles will not be exposed to the world second one is complete 's estimate there is number three is there to there's total acceptance must also feel comfortable to openly express themselves in a Christian manner in the home there should be total acceptance my wife or my husband should know that my love for them my acceptance of them is not dependent on how well they can't count nicely they dress how beautifully luck but rather on who they are and who they are is totally acceptable to me I love them for who they are the artfully as a result Missouri is a single-minded people feel safe when they are totally completely accepted not based on what they do but based on who they are already are and who you are and the last one in a safe environment there is a sense that there is no better place no better place to be than home you know you go around and and and as a young minister sometimes you wonder whether you make the right decisions you know you're out there talking to people time to do this to you that you often wonder sometimes if things go bad to get a handle that thing properly should have done better and had all of these challenges when I'm on on on on on trips away the only thing that is on my mind is limiting go in there do what I have to do is I get back home console as well was one of the and in a safe environment you should create a magnet that always pulls people not to line to be there so that wet where you are wherever you are you don't want to be anywhere else except on that is musically a safe environment Launcelot is looking for you number five is understanding differences understanding differences to have a happy home guys we need to understand the dirt that differences exist between people okay is exist between people first of all understand this thing along this line is thought to yourself the way you want to be treated to an obvious also you want to be treated treated them better freedom that this is what I mean like I said things in my life that I like something like this Judy just as this am all set so what I say selecting myself busy and this is what I want this is what he wants to so we we have all we have this thing in our house where we collect letters from a the we write to each of them for letters nice letters valuable letters a week that we collect from each of them we give them in a safe place and we review them every once in a while we're laughing wondering if we pulled out a piece of paper was just like a complete piece of paper and it was actually written on hold USC letterhead that we had an what she was still sleeping house heading out on a trip and I realize ten four those in your unit of monasticism are no staff or only method is my wife's birthday and I felt myself mad environment and you forgive my grade I can tell it I prefer the forget my birthday something you know it no big deal no big deal so I thought what I got is a special young challenges not do anything special something and I would like to spam time as you don't plan on my my what I can do him him on my way out a mama Lidia for Siebel at times on thinking good thing that I have the gift of thinking quickly write something easy as I can I think something of real smooth just a flyleaf open the freezer and I see as you notice me just remember the more the MorningStar Philly cheesesteak grillers are discontinued these were the best things in the world so I'll I see a messy this is my favorite this is my favorite griller so what I do is I'm going to my wife sold that out as I set out in Oakland will will a USC letterhead as a young dear beautiful happy birthday just want to know I was a meager griller is imprinting resin I decided not to please enjoy out his Pentagon I treated her the way I would've wanted I mean if I would've long enough and I would've known that Grillo was there that's my day my day is Friday's something unique using to be super happy that the long threatened him to him in your mind you think a likely my life this liberty my husband is late and I can respond the way I respond so the key is the same thing to do that the way to meeting the meeting happiness is to stop talking that you can make them happy you medical classic seven eight steps beyond that unless you might get what you always run the spot is so remember the more difficulty than the way you want to be treated treatment differently don't really know what this is a love is expressed and received in many different ways you already are the book read a book that the five love languages there is at the blog active service quality time with an affirmation physical touch and gives novices a tenancy that we have the tendency that we happy is to demonstrate love to others the way we like to be locked right are the way that we like to be a friend and I don't see to maintain happiness in the home is to not do that but rather to figure out what it is a major spouse happy and succeed them in that way so I don't feed you in the way that you feel best right my when you don't mind my my thing is the way I demonstrate love is my bio buying stuff gifts that's the way I express my love tunnel however see my love and ethyl express like if I buy something for you that's always a I really appreciate you I really will you know I am just really happy that you're in my life etc. etc. my wife my wife doesn't receive love that way you know she doesn't receive love that we has not either sometimes it creates agents write him so but my thing is a vessel shall not also whether you like it or not this is what you're going to uniting this legitimate gets life go out and I just like Stan all of my money to whom I will not take a shower were married I wouldn't buy any shampoo I go to hotels and just break up in many different pieces and take it off in my bag it also never long as I can you are you a free sample of our user interface on the floor then save all my money on user just and then when we first got married we bought our home on by my wife by my wife all this stuff and then floor on when we got married before that I will view her parents gave me a full-size bed you have those the diameters are given right so is a full-size bed so we got married we just brought in the full-size bed right and it wasn't working out because I mean him him a big guy and I have long lines and when it's time to sleep I like to sleep like you so you also we have is Dennis and Judy we just need to get it that you know we need to get a bigger bed ill you know we spent most of my life on our bad as we sleep long list is good and that as of finally to Ms. Artemis Internet but I was able to Mister getting we got a clean the primary again achieve right as we get a clean and their moving in messages this is so great this is so gracefully move into the room as in the time to go to bed until you are using on the Queen Randy Queen posse on this one is right next to each other yet is a lot of hype it is usually a not realizing they are they will him what he would make my life is noisy as hell that he is going to answer one thing is one thing is I doubt if we want to maintain happiness in the relationship find out immediately and find out in the what is that it makes your spouse happy him what is your spouse feels love and make sure that you fulfill her love for his love in that way and not in the winter you like to Sharon J nonbelievers sure a bad day is amazing this is because I'm kind of embarrassed about this next title in the appreciation and contentment but that is all I recently need to have an acronym is now feeling like they are as I actually think the that I was supposed to be feeling love you making it easy is there anyway I will enjoy just sitting there and that you know I get yeah I I I think that you know everything is ready appreciation satisfaction okay I'm to talk about appreciation of little bit here I think it's really important particularly for women executive for next field I want to feel appreciated but not very near and dear to my heart I read this one quote and I feel like a completely ill colonizing the number like my life the way that mother and I will take place June seventeen at minute own it's a kind cheerful and encouraging words but might my highlight would've been like encouraging words of encouragement and appreciation whatever will prove more effective in the healing medicine Eagle ring currents to the heart of the defining and discouraged and happiness and sunshine brought into the family by trying at and encouraging words will retain the effort tenfold thinks and what I mean by that him I will not have any clean the case even out and so I glance at the beginning of a dog and cat Riley God pulled up a story with the candidate and God is more greater than making you think you already know him to you we have been able to shoot at and three in the nose by lightning I know a little kid you not without trying on but I exactly like effectively anyway cleaning and cleaning and reading and convening I felt like Brazil is so lucky like me you're green yellow and pink I now young around the neck the baby home in the cat and I want everything the way that Danielle doesn't look like they negatively are you are getting really on your gigabyte like the linguine what we really need me like I like hell and I'm gone for a while I feel nothing on you can look at how they come and arrest you to get a kidney to take the house at all you know and so I do a lot of time you can enter the mode where you're doing things on how are you bringing it out for me it's like me always George King of the chassis he forgot or whatever you think anymore more and more and more and more and more better okay I will write you one of the ways I I I cannot handle it anymore and how do you like using the trash he argued all all right identities to do it again I'm really loving the directory holding like the phrase is looking at Frederick now you know I will tell you anyway but there are well happening in Israel will come to be and doesn't stop me nothing cannot be going frantic you know Billy liked I really appreciate everything you do and I know you're so tired like disco genocides the article say something like that that and what does that make me want you more it actually makes me want to do what I'm doing even more like a Disney like the energy to make appreciate your note and all evening and I want it more and I actually ended it certainly believe it or not you know you are yelling he thought he is showing appreciation and acknowledgment of what I'm doing I know I noted that you even like the window with Linda Barton out in the notice which is like a miracle because he's not very many I think when you rank him as having that appreciation had a kind word on anything you wanted but I really do not occur in any more at the delight is my point so I'm sure getting Fernanda particularly for or women show appreciations your wife and I accept it actually is I think talk about a husband and wife showing consideration for a people life now we know nothing were feeble but I didn't get great people ever burning down and buy them put you off the bat appreciation letting them know even independent of seeing them like Iraq just saying no you are the hardest worker in Israel Philadelphia the hardest worker I know you're using a break and just makes me want to go to get the energy to want to do it even more and it becomes a delightful so showing appreciation and that again and everything is a fact that all of the glacier is that we are in the evenings we started doing this thing where we appreciate each other and I went back and tell me about everything that I think that day but not like to get some nice are out and eat all your complete we actually think about resubmitting things that we really appreciate at the Holiday Inn in life I know anything and I don't know I noted that I know in an unhealthy that and I let them know and were both very surprising like wow you actually noted that I did not mean really appreciated I think that we reach each other every night because we needed every season or that they all rose to the chest and then I kind down accumulating under our bed we actually have market he come over any look and then I hear you what my life is yet no and we really get anything that can affirm and delete every special occasion he knows that way if I like a nice letter United one oh well I definitely thought about it in your something really nice and so we read you know the different maladies of older people about into three for bed and it didn't help the firm note knowing that Haiti still feel the same way about me because I appreciate seeing it anyway even if I kid you before you know we're very least Keith Gillespie and him having a affirmation and think it's really important the number seven is invested in your marriage and messy marriage you know we we sometimes we don't realize that putting money into the Bank of America right now will make sure that we are secure during difficult times later on marriages will have ups and downs you know every marriage has difficult times are rough times in a single through an accusative you invest now little and big investments that went difficult times come through you have enough money in the bank to make sure your that your set off your something to say in our home we have a certain quality things we like to do that that our trustee investment into our marriage and one another we had a couple of traditions that we want to share with you number one is in southern advice and what is it we did early on our marriage was we chose early the different things that drive us the different things that drive us now for the very busy on type of lifestyle for out a long-overdue encephalon and on and and so the time that we get to spend together is usually you know very rushed you don't come home from work she is she's got a lot of these and need to get done I got a lot easier to get done as a time to be spent to get is not is not on is not always a lot of time so what we get is from the very beginning we sat down recently what are things that just drive us these are just make us move forward and exciting that we describe number one is I I love scuba diving I got I got certified school library like a few years ago I just I mean I could disable all my money and just invest in that ghost writing I just love to have it be in the water and frightened we would like to guess what I'm because I knew that I had to get into it early otherwise the development on energy love that she got what she saw little sea turtle and it was it will write him slice ready to decide a these are the things that wouldn't that we'll enjoy doing together at the fact that we have that it was a worse school and I was easily moving on at once this is how life is how I got comics on it we have together that we enjoy together that is part of like who we are family the other thing that we know we like to do is we like to travel right our responsibility is all around the world and we enjoy that but we enjoyed it most when were able to kind of go together so all the money we save on all the money that we say but we try to save up so that if I'll ever go on and on and on a trip somewhere that we can use enough money to bring the family law and will spend and just having fun then together we like to travel so will try to save on money and use of Ursula driving or traveling dealing that we like to do that we recently did I know you got anything this funny but if you want to be smooth glide slope this is scrapbooking a lot of your girl scrapbook guys him company the seven seas that have been the number is to realize that Lisa will will you know you love will deliver some scrapbooking stuff out against my minorities I working on my nature I like to do very artsy type in things like an entire designer like you know injury decorator or whatever but no society is and allow us Mendenhall express ourselves just as self he know we have done with the Devils as I went to the ministry instead is that we like and we like scrapbooking we ask you to make Arkansas you know you guys are making money you will never get a card but will notify that we actually got the idea from the resort is Mrs. Rosario not monetary union so the Catholic autonomy you know we do is immediately I have a calendar my home that is for the whole year and a very good one of the first things I do when I get the calendar is I look at it what is still playing and I draw the black line through two weeks of that calendar housing this is my vacation time is my vacation time and what happens I do that first because once I know that there is vacation this year that there is a time where I will have the ability to spend with my family that fuels me to my non- vacation time to work hard so that I can enjoy that when it comes that one vacation time comes run you try to call me to do this or do that on it and as my phone right so I automatically drawn out vacation time Judy automatically draws on occasion somehow we all days off I think one day a week off Tuesday's one-day leadoff and that is no matter what happens unless is an emergency that's my time also we outlined in our relationship which times we have for sure that I can be quality time unless something dramatic an extreme emergency that cannot be dealt with the next day comes up so no one is choose early things in your United pursuits things that both of you enjoy doing fully enjoy doing together number two is scheduled time and the things that you like to do during that time so we scheduled when and what we had to reschedule vacation times schedule family time once a week we scheduled family time in two weeks out of the year and then we also a schedule things that are more regular you know you'll need a vacation twice a year or once a year to exhibit two weeks of your soul you don't need on top of that we schedule a visa we can do regularly little things we can do regularly that he was going through until we rededicated himself what you originally we like to do is before we go to bed we like to anarchy on a positive note you know you're constantly thinking just challenges after challenges of the challenges all days so after dinnertime so you know what this is the last you want to say something negative safety for dinner service is after dinner Sir this is a little talk about happy things you know the house it's nice that you were clean enough you look nice think of addressing up you not think it for whatever whatever whatever system thank you thank you thank you happy happy happy happy so when you go to bed when you go to bed you can actually see guys trust me onto this guise your life is over and over right his older and your wife will be unhappy you will be unhappy so we schedule in the evening time when the last e-mail we like to do as we like to set up and that talk to each other appreciate each other or do whatever it is we try to end on a happy note nothing negative something 's coming up it's about to be negative also Judy stopped to see it discontent this is indeed a negative turn solicit and invoking ascended to heaven it's nice whenever I don't really know we get is we we half we set up conditions Summit donations when I tell you about not like shady or whatever private is just something about keeping secret light I love keeping easy Valentine environment we do just as it admits any attached to the excitement other people annoyed you like ha ha I don't know whether something will share with you some things I wanted finishes and we had is we both have different backgrounds but we will have to come back as I come from Mexican accuracy comes from a green background absolutely did as we set traditions from our culture is to bring into our homes so every every week we have a time where all make Mexican food I will enjoy our Mexican food together and every Friday just before welcome the Sabbath we had this whole big thing the Cardinals around our worship is different moving on estimates for the kids that they can play with our song services longer the dishes have a good time playing the instruments and singing in whatever when we meal we buy some special mango juice we get these cuts in general balsam bath was like gold on them and on April twelve twenty one give us some you know God is female in the making you can be part of our subdivision as we get out these cuts are from Mike that you are the temple of Israel's identity and we use them to get some exotic mango juice and we drink mango juice my favorite juice and then we get we make these like sushi rolls and we have especially called us out of the role we as a special recipe and it is symbolic of creation we you know some avocados green your life creation Cisco logo is carried by him we have to know we all and every Saturday and every Friday night when welcoming this out it welcoming this out it we pool out the status of juveniles you know I will leave those together and we enjoy so these are little traditions of the that we look forward to everything this was euros my favorite hello world now and whenever I'm away I always look forward to it you know I think my somehow sound that my children my wife Laura my not be within the eating this and I can be a large vessel yes I could easily set up that we that we know we look forward to an indigenous villages this is huge huge huge time in which people come together and you look forward to those things so we set up quality time is up for Susan we like to do together we set up traditions and we set up regular ways of expressing appreciation you don't always have to express appreciation by by having intimacy of lovemaking or more making out or whatever it is always the Valley economy you you you you you bring death so that by doing that yes by doing that as often as time provides of course but also by also by doing these other little things that brings strength of the relationship from a different perspective there also is the last place she is singing Americans is all the very center taking this is really important Ya I have to get married and you start experiencing the struggles are you taking any experiencing struggles as you noted during his visit he go to your parent in articulating your site if you are your friends on your site is clearly made a commitment while repeating even that whenever we had a human we would never tell our family would anyone except for a second and then when I meant at the time and so he was like our counselor because we knew and I actually do think you are a I I unloaded my friend and he was so hurt by that you can tell he also betrayed him then he explains me you know you know if we had problems getting BJ Elder have one neutral person there and we can all happen I get it I think it's really important have nourishment through the neutral couple Julia DiIulio a teacher at Conway Billy really look after them legally give them anything you know he'll given and we are not some kind is about you know I struggled on the issue couple argues people that you know you can go to Yahoo every human problem if you organize between you and loving God you know you and don't be afraid to go to the Council yell from the spiritual person I think the universal and verified that a normal part of growing in your marriage and the other thing is just continuing education the interconnect of medication I thought I is thinking about educated and informed you know before you think about why is the ordinary and Mary I will now keep sure they start in the primaries and evening air I don't think Bert childrearing is a feeling of the mother I really haven't united my mind my agenda is even better mother and between about and we have our own being where reading Anatoly tried reading it every year late at night are not late at night like we were entitled to three hundred DVD unlike what are the think of improving your marriage and the like the needle is looking good and bad are you at all times because you don't have time for that whenever you navigating negative point like a little elected or any taste and budget one month or whatever entity even if you have opportunity like where you will continue a younger couple time to counsel them you know because I acted like an automatic couple will come to and where it will become both public and it is not your company people you anything in your own marriage is allowed even even operating within Israel will pay something you know how much you appreciate near something that I really don't have at leaving that alone we should be I think they've been very theme of the talk together and share with others your experience so you can continue working at it even if unity started off to the perfect keypad and make it a habit to do the things the Lord overly blessed thank you overcoming high enforcement assignment is not as helpful in some way and that is strengthening in your journey when women would rather father was so thankful for happiness and with thankful that you are the giver of happiness would think ability to give a spouses special people in our lives and are there to draw us closer to you helpless father to take full advantage of these individuals to realize that they are just from you and to not take for granted but thank you for them every day of our lives we have to these gifts in Jesus name will listen by audio or is anyone a generation or you would like to learn more about G1 is a gun like that are working like this one is online seminar www. volume versus nonwork

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