Favorite Sermon Add to Playlist
Logo of ASI 2016: Called. Chosen. Committed.

Sexual Purity: Lost & Found

Danielle Harrison
Audio Only

Description

Danielle’s past experiences enable her to address many of the challenging issues facing our young people today.  Same-sex attraction, sexual sin, broken relationships, and a deep aching void that nothing could fill.  Yet after her long dark night, joy came in the morning, and God has since helped her to see more clearly a tracing from cause to effect in her life.  She will be sharing her personal testimony, especially as it relates to sexual purity. 

Presenter

Danielle Harrison

Involved in "Into His Light" Ministries and Associate of "Coming Out Ministries"

Sponsor

Conference

Recorded

  • August 5, 2016
    9:00 AM

Series

Logo of Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)

Copyright ©2016 ASi Ministries.

Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US) license.

The ideas in this recording are those of its contributors and may not necessarily reflect the views of AudioVerse.

SPONSORED

Video Downloads

Audio Downloads

This transcript may be automatically generated

Dear Heavenly Father. I want to thank you so much that. In this place as your children have gathered together we can invite your presence and Lord you promised in your word. That if we ask for your Holy Spirit you will send it. And so Lord we know that you're here with us. And I just ask you humbly now Lord that you would please annoying to my lips with a call from your altar that you would hide me behind your cross and the Jesus Christ would be seen. Lord because this has less to do with me and more to do with Jesus and His power. It's his book. I'm just the pages. And so Lord help me to have ears to hear your spirit and words to speak your words and help everyone here to have ears also to hear in Jesus name I pray in so when I share my testimony I always start from the very beginning. Because I believe that there were experiences that happened for me very early on in my life that paved the way for a lot of other things that would come and as I was coming into the world. My parents were struggling in their relationship. They weren't expecting to have another child. And I was a surprise. But nonetheless I was very loved. I was a very happy baby and my mom says that she remembers of my character that music was a big part of my joy a big part of my experience. I loved music and unfortunately the music that came into our home was not of a heavenly type of atmosphere I have in Lee spirit. It was from the world through the radio and television Hollywood movies that kind of a thing. So we had an abundance of the world available in our home and it was in a Christian home so I didn't have. Us. There are two patterned after Instead I was patterning after the world and this was what was building my character. Now I want to share with you a quote from the book appeal to mothers. Now as I share my testimony I'm going to be focusing more expressing my journey through sexuality. I think that this is sort of taboo in our church isn't to a lot of the conservative environments we don't really talk about sex right. But I think that this is a topic that needs to be addressed. Because if our young people aren't receiving information from from us from the church then the world is the only place they're getting their information and what a scary thing that is right. So I'm going to be talking about that this morning and I'll start by sharing this quote appeal to mothers found on page eleven. It says mothers you cannot be too careful in preventing your children from learning low habits. It is easier to learn evil than to eradicate it after it is learned. So it's a lot easier to learn how to sin than just learn how to stop sinning once we've been there right. Neighbors may permit their children to come to your house to spend the evening and the night with your children. But she says here is a trial and the choice for you to run the risk of offending your neighbors by sending their children to their own home or. Gratify them and let them lodge with your children and thus expose them meaning your children to be instructed in that knowledge which would be a lifelong curse to them. Now if you look at this quote context really the way that it's found in the context of the chapter. You'll see that this curse here that she's talking about is the curse of self-abuse Now that's kind. An old term that we don't necessarily use a lot today the medical term that we use today is masturbation. Unfortunately my mom didn't know this council and I was permitted to have frequent sleep overs. When I was younger and this very curse came into my life through this very Avenue. How important it is for us to read and learn from the Spirit of Prophecy and from the Bible so that we can walk in the way that God is directing us. My parents separated when I was six years old my mother my siblings and I moved into a low income housing development and it was there that a young girl lived down the street she was my same age and she was being sexually abused by someone. So she was learning things about her body that she should not have known. And so as a result of her sharing that knowledge with me. I also was learning things about my body that I should not have known. So I was only seven years old. When I started to have sexual interactions with the same sex and masturbation soon became an addiction for me this was a stronghold in my life for many many years until the Lord gave me victory a couple years later I was actually baptized. I had been attending church and frequently with a family friend and the pastor sat us down and asked us if we wanted to be baptized and we were but I wasn't making a commitment to Jesus. I just thought that's what you do when you love Jesus so I was baptized. I knew that Christians were good people and I wanted to be a good person. So I started making some promises to myself I had learned a little bit about sexual purity so I promised myself I wanted to stay a virgin until I was married. And I wanted to abstain from all drugs and alcohol because I'd seen the way that those things had played a part in my parents' struggle in their marriage and their separation but it didn't take very long for me to start to realize that there was this deep chasm between the person that I wanted to be. And the person that I naturally was it didn't take very long for me to start breaking those promises that I made to myself because our promises and our resolutions are just like ropes of sand right there. Nothing that we can cling onto or grab onto and so this was my experience because I could not control my thoughts or my impulses or my factions and so I started very young in my early teenage years not only to have these sexual experiences with these girls because it happened not only with that first girl but many other girls as the years went on but I also started to have sexual interactions with the voice too because why is it a big deal to share it with them if I've been sharing it with these other girls self for so many years. And this for me was creating a struggle as I was breaking the promises that I wanted to keep to myself and. You know I started to really struggle with depression. I started to dislike myself and I started to blame God because I couldn't be who I wanted to be I couldn't be what the Bible told me to be so I got in great God I I blamed him for it. There's a quote in the great controversy it's found on page five twenty five and it says that it is a law both of the intellectual and of the spiritual nature of the by the holding we become changed. It's as the mind gradually adapts itself to the subjects upon which it is allowed to dwell. And I believe that this was what was happening for me I was so saturated in the things of the world. I was saturated in the the sin that the world had brought into my life and that I had welcomed in. So I was blinded to receiving the light that I was now receiving from the Adventist neighbors that we had moved in next door to and started studying with mice. I was choosing Jesus being baptized and walking in one direction and I was walking in the other. You know I was about fifteen years old when I came out as bisexual and coming out to the world and saying this is how I am and you can't change it and who I am was the biggest part of the sentence. It wasn't just what I did behind closed doors in the privacy of my own bedroom. It was who I was it was my. My persona and I think that's why so many people who struggle with same sex attraction have such a hard time coming out of it because not only is it the stronghold sin this bondage that is so hard to break free from but it becomes your identity. You base who you are upon it and that was what was happening for me fifteen years old was when it started but the time I was seventeen I moved away from home and I dropped out of school and music became my idol. Now I say that music was my idol because music was the thing that I turn to when I should have been turning to God. When my friends let me down when I was confused when I was upset when I was angry those strong feelings come in. I turned to my music because my music was always there for me my music made me feel better. But really it just encourage those negative feelings that I wanted to be free from and as I started to allow this music to come into my mind I started to develop a taste for the music of the world in it and the the music that I gravitated towards was darker and darker and by beholding I became changed. Image it would be called Number two here is the person that I became. As I was about eighteen nineteen twenty in my younger years I started to dress the part. Extravagant hair make up and dress became my way of life. I. I wanted to be art because that was the only thing that really made sense to me anymore and the music was a gateway drug. Music really can be a drug for many people it is music was my gateway drug into the world and it was yielding a very say tonic crop in my life. I began to wear devil horns. First to concerts and parties but eventually just to the supermarket on a Tuesday afternoon or walking down the street. Because this was my persona and I didn't believe in God or Satan any more. So why would it be a big deal to joke about it and to joke about the silly christians that actually believed in it there's a quote in mind character and personality. She calls of the degrading process. So as the mind of a man or woman does not come down in a moment from purity and holiness to depravity corruption and crime. It takes time to transform the human to the divine or. To degrade those formed in the image of God to the brutal or the say tannic this was what was taking place in my life. Why. The next word say blah. Because by the holding we become changed. I was being made into the image that was ever before me. I was struggling with anxiety attacks eating disorders multiple drug addictions. I was dabbling in witchcraft so I was seeing shadows crawl and hearing voices. You know when I was younger and there was a turning point in my life where I sat down on the couch and I thought I don't have to listen to what everybody tells me I need to do. I can do whatever I want I can be crazy if I want what's the worst thing that could happen. Now I was experiencing what could happen. It was a very dark and scary place and that wilderness where I had walked very far from God. It was and slaving there. And I wanted to change. I was desperate for change. I had this aching void. Side of me that that I tried to fill with anything and everything from the world the parties didn't do it the drugs didn't do it the girlfriends didn't do it the boyfriends didn't do it and every time I tried to fill that space that only Jesus can fill. I just sensed the emptiness more and more and more. And one day I was thinking about my life I was thinking about this desire for change. And this thought of the still small voice came into my mind and it said Dan You know you have got to change or you're going to die and I knew this was a call from The Divine. That I needed to make a change but I didn't know how so I decided I was going to move out into the country with my dad get away from the city and that was the first change that I made God impressed one change upon my heart that I could make and then he led me to make another change in another change in another as I started to become sober and get away from the drug addictions and I started to go vegan mostly for animal rights reasons you know I I said I'm going to save the world one chicken at a time if that's the best I can do. Room. But as I was making these little steps my mind was becoming clearer. And even though I was calling God by the wrong name. Even though I was searching for the divine looking for love in all the wrong places and my quest for knowledge in the New Age search through all different types of religions of the world and and new age healing modalities and everything in between. Even though I was calling God by the wrong name and looking in all the wrong places. He was hearing my prayers and as far as my purse for the into his will he was honoring those prayers and he was moving me General gently in the direction that I needed to go to be able to receive more light and I know that God was able to speak into my life into my heart in the darkest place of my experience because my mother and my sister were. Earnestly praying for me. And so if you only remember one thing from my testimony don't let it be the devil horns and the. You know the crazy dark point let it be that the thing that shifted my experience was the earnest and consistent and fervent prayers of the people that loved me and not only do I recognize that in my experience but so do every single one of my colleagues in coming out ministries that it was the prayers of our family that that invited God who's a perfect gentleman and will never force himself upon us into our lives when we needed him the most. So my sister could see that my heart was softening a little bit because before when I was running around with devil horns on I didn't want to talk about God at all but now I'm talking about spiritual things and her husband was going to be going out to the Black Hills Health and Education Center to do an internship on the farm so because their family was going out there she invited me to go with them. It was a challenging decision but to make a long story short I ended up going expecting to be there for six months but I was there for three and a half years and it was there that I sincerely met the man named Jesus. I met that man through the. Through his spirit manifest in his children. There was one man in particular that really really caught my attention. His name is Dan Gabbert and he's a spiritual counselor there and every time we would cross paths and we've exchanged words. I would walk away from him. And I was so impressed by the gentleness and the kindness and this joy in this piece that just flowed out of him and I wanted that kind of spirit and I thought I don't know what's working for that man but I wanted to and so one day I decided I was going to go to church when I knew he was speaking. Because I was interested in the Gospel because I wasn't but because I wanted to know what was working for him. So I sat down in the church in the very back hoping no one would notice me and I was just kind of drawing on my little drawing pad there and. He said today we're going to talk about the crucifixion and in my mind I thought oh the crucifixion why that anything that that because when I thought about God I thought about Light and Love and Peace and Joy didn't want to think about death and war and tribulation and the crucifixion like I read about in the Bible but then the next thing he said was and maybe you're thinking oh the crucifixion why that anything but that. And when he's sad of what I had just thought I knew that God was about to speak to me. And he started to describe sin that when we transgress the law of God we are separated from him and because he is the source of all life. If we are separated from him. The natural occurrence is death. And so by choosing sin we deserve death but if we will choose Jesus and we will accept the sacrifice he has freely given than Jesus bridges the gap. For us to come back to God and eternal life this massive. Shook my shook me from the very core of my being and it wouldn't let me go all day I was wandering around just praying to God walking around the hills praying out loud and just trying to reconcile this beautiful life with all of the understanding spiritually that I had that it conflicted with but that was when I finally decided I would give Christianity another chance and God brought many other people to minister to me and and to teach me. Chad and crews are within your point films were especially prominent and teach me a lot teaching me a lot of the things that I learned. But when Tom Meyer from Little Light Studios came with his family and they were working on a film. They developed a friendship with me and when he left he left me five D.V.D.'s of the doc. Memories that he makes with his ministry and I watched the documentary called Magic Kingdom. It's about Disney. Who could have imagined the god was about to totally shatter my earth as it were. I was not ready for the profound truth that was going to come from it. My guard wasn't up right because God uses the simple things to profound the Weiss I had professed myself to be a wise I'd become a fool and and God needed to use something very simple to get into my heart and so he did from the simple documentary The first thing that stuck out was Disney says Follow your heart. Listen your heart. But the Bible says that the hardest deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it. I knew that I couldn't trust my own judgment I had had enough experiences to know that. So why am I trying to figure out God in the universe all on my own was with a thought that came into my mind after I was hearing this then it started talking about spiritualism in witchcraft in a cold symbology and Disney and I thought that this was a very unlikely thing that I was very interested in all of these things but then I started thinking about the story lines. My two favorite movies. Growing up were filled with MY were filled with the two spiritual isms that I was most interested in the as an adult I thought maybe these movies did have an impact on the way of youth spiritual things but then started talking about how Disney put trees the woman's body. Whether it's an old movie or a new one. They have the very highly hourglass curvy figure in the coin seductive facial expressions and overly sensual body language. This documentary was saying that presenting this notion of femininity to a young child's mind is simply unhealthy and inaccurate to teach them what femininity is but there came that still small voice again as I was watching this part of the documentary. And it said Danielle you've been programmed from a young age to view life the way that you do to view spirituality the way that you do and to view sexuality the way that you do to view the woman's body the way that you do and it's not my plan for your life for you to be a lesbian. Because at that point I wasn't only identifying as bisexual that hadn't worked out very well as you can imagine it was a very messy track record and so I thought well I must be a lesbian. Maybe that was actually work through this simple documentary The Holy Spirit. Nobody could have imagined spoke these powerful words to me and my heart was broken. I finally was willing to accept God's will for my life instead of my own and nobody knows how the Holy Spirit can come in and do that but he does. And for me it was a very very powerful experience you know some people ask me Do you think that people are just born gay. Did you choose to be gay. And I say well I didn't choose my temptations I don't think any of us really do you know God If I'm going to be tempted can we choose this this and this. I don't think any of us have that conversation. But even though we don't choose our temptations when the temptations do come in we make a choice. Are we going to turn indulge in those temptations or not. So we don't choose our temptations but there is a choice in the matter. And this was what I finally came to understand and I finally came to realize that that Satan is real the great controversy is real. And that I'm not safe unless I'm with Jesus and this was when I truly started to surrender my heart to him. I started to develop a relationship with him that I didn't have when I was little and I was baptized. I started to interact with Him through His Word and spend have a conversation with him through prayer and I had started to develop a trust for him. And love that blossomed out of that trust and we have a love in our hearts for God The commitment and. Naturally flow out of that love it isn't something that we need to fabricate it's something that God places in our heart and it flows out of us for everyone around us to experience as well. So after or the day that I was baptized this would be photo number four all day before my baptism I wore a white dress and all day after my Or I'm sorry all day before my baptism I wore a red dress and all day after my baptism I wore a white dress because I wanted everyone to know that first John one nine was mine to claim that if I confess my sins God was faithful and just to forgive me and to cleanse me of all unrighteousness I said Lord today I want to enter into a new covenant with you and I ask you to wash me clean and make me a virgin in your sight because I can't keep myself pure I tried. But Lord with my hand in yours. You can. And this was the new experience that I entered into with him. After my baptism God started opening up doors for me to share my testimony locally at first and then he'd move me to a new area and I'd speak there a few places and he moved me around quite a bit for a year or two. And. While I was still at the Black Hills before I left there was this morning that I was I had I had watched a sermon by David Africa and it moved me it was so powerful and I was weeping and I just fell on my knees and I said Lord you know that I want to do public speaking. That was what I had an interest in doing before I became a Christian would you know that I want to do public speaking. But I want you to use me to do whatever you want me to do if I can do it with this kind of holy spirit power. I saw the Lord moving through that message so powerfully to move my heart and I said Lord I want you to use me to move the hearts of men to come to know you and understand who you are more clearly. Like I have seen through this message and whatever. It is for me to do. I don't want to try and make it happen anymore. Lord I'm just going to trust you that you will do it. And so I laid that baby on the altar right and that was when things really started moving forward. And I started speaking more I said lord. I'll go where you want me to go and I'll say what you want me to say I didn't really talk about sexual purity at that time because we don't really talk about that right. I didn't know what I was getting myself into and I prayed that prayer all go where you want me to go. And I went to G Y C one year. And I ended up at the coming out ministries booth. I started having a conversation with my colleague Wayne and through the course of the conversation. I ended up sharing some of my testimony with him and he said wow would you be willing to to share your testimony with us some time and I and I said all about it and then think in no way. Not this Lord not anything with this. But you know what God remembered. The prayer that I had prayed and I said Lord if you want me to do this you're going to have to confirm it to me and you're going to have to open up the doors and you know what he's been doing that ever since and I've been working with them for the last two years and they've just been such a blessing for me. God knows exactly what we need to go through right. Sometimes we need to be humbled to speak about something we don't necessarily feel that comfortable speaking about but sometimes he has us in a very different position. So for you today. I just want to ask you Is God a calling you. Into a ministry experience for him. Maybe you've said no way Lord not that you kind of dig in your heels right. But I can tell you from my experience that no matter what it is if God is calling you into it. He has a plan greater than you could ever fathom. And God has showed me. Much through this ministry has built my faith so much as he has led us into the speaking engagements he's brought us around the world and he has now helped us to develop a film that we will be releasing in September of our testimonies that we pray to many many people that maybe would never come to our meetings. It's been powerful and profound so keep an eye out for that journey interrupted film that's coming out these are the kind of things that God does he moves for us in ways that we don't foresee happening so. I just want to close here together as we all have a season of prayer and so I want to invite you to turn to the person next to you if you're sensing that conviction to to respond to God in ministry in ways that he is calling you into bigger things and you haven't had the courage to do it. Let's pray and surrender surrender our talents and time to the word today so we'll have a brief season of prayer. You can pray with someone together now on all pray appear and then after a few minutes your Heavenly Father. We want to thank you so much for leaving Egypt. I believe that you wanted to speak to each person here this morning because I've been following and the people that need to hear this and so Lord there soon. Many people in this world that are lost in darkness especially in sexual sin of various forms of my sexuality and gender confusion in the home so prevalent in our world there are many many people who are confused. There they are in bondage to sin more than they need the light of the cross. I know that there are many people here who know people in the people who are struggling with sexual sin and homosexuality and same sex attraction. Experience prayers. If you would like to.

Share

Embed Code

Short URL

http://audiover.se/2aZXx6P