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5. Single and Significant?

Janice Watson

Conference

Recorded

  • December 30, 2016
    9:15 AM
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This message was presented at the G Y C twenty sixteen conference has been heard in Houston Texas for other resources like this visit us online at W W W T Y C where I'm Janice Watson. I'm delighted that you're here we have been praying for and about these sessions for a long time. It's my joy to have you be with me as we look to God for answers to questions that we have at this stage in our lives. Shall we pray for God and we're just so excited to be in your presence. We're so excited that you are our Father and our lover and our friend and our King and our Lord. Father we come to you in humility. In broken because you say of any man or woman lack wisdom let him ask of God to give to all men liberally and greater. So we come Lord seeking your wisdom this morning. We come seeking your guidance. We come seeking all the gifts that you have to give us when we come to this topic Lord some of us come hurting some of us come struggling some of us come in confidence but we all come needing you speak to us or and speak through me. You know me you know my floors my limitations but Lord. You're greater than all things so cleanse me empty me speak your word to your woman the smarting with power and Lord when you have touched us when you have changed us we will give you all the honor and all the glory knowing you're the only one who can do it. We thank you. And we love you and then. It seems that whenever we get a group of women together. Sooner or later. Somebody wants to talk about singleness. Somebody wants to talk about singleness for all kinds of directions. And those directions sometimes are what's wrong with me. Why am I still single. What don't I have. Why is it bad. God doesn't want to give me what they have. And now that I don't have it. What am I going to do. And you know it will actually talk about. To some degree. All of those things as we talk about singleness. I come to the topic. With thirty years or so twenty something thirty years of experience teaching on college campuses. So I've talked to a lot of single women over the last several years. But I also come with thirty plus years of experience of living single. And living Christian. So when we talk today. I understand that the issues we talk about the things that we do we deal with. Are things that I thought about like you thought about prayed about. And that I have lived and continue to live. By the grace of God. So. I will address some things. But before we do that I have. A public service announcement. You know a public service announcement before you get to as I was driving and was actually driving as I was riding to the airport a friend was driving. She said to me and she love songs and she sings all the time and I'm very musical she said I have a song for you. And I said oh and she said I have a song for you and it is Victory is mine. Victory is mine. And this morning I woke up with that in my head. Victory is mine. Victory is mine and it occurred to me that maybe. I got it because somebody else needs it. So Victory is mine. Victory is mine. Victory today is mine. I told Satan. Get thee behind. Because victory today is mine. Joy is mine. Joy is mine. Joy today is mine. I know that Joy is mine. I told say get me behind because Joy today is mine. Happiness is mine. Happiness is mine happiness today is mine. I told Satan to get me behind because happiness. Today is mine. When I rose this morning. I didn't have a doubt. I knew that God would bring me out. I fell on my knees and said Lord help me please. And I got up singing and shouting the victory because victory today is mine. I don't know who that's for. But if it's yours receive it. God has promised. And he is with us as he's promised. If you have something to write on write something for me. Complete this sentence. Give me an analogy. Singleness is like. Singleness is like what is singleness like. This is lie. Right. What is single most like. Second sentence. Singleness feels like singleness feels like. If you're looking for some seats there are seats up here in the front. Please be happy to come join us up front. So your analogies. Your analogies singleness is like someone saying all this is like an adventure. Like skydiving I might want to come back to that a little bit singleness is like Fredo. A roller coaster in the pendants right. Anything else. It's an adventure of a roller coaster. It's like skydiving and I come back to skydiving for a minute single this is like skydiving in that. I do get nervous in the beginning and as soon as you jump off the view was better and it gets better. I don't have to write that down when I leave here are I singleness feels like. Like preparation. If ILS like the best of both worlds. How so. I know you could be. People when you want you can be with yourself what you want. I mean. OK so like mountain climbing you go up the mountain and at some point in your Singlish you get to the top and you take it in. OK so I may be talking to a group of people who don't need half of what I came to say is that correct. Because singleness feels lonely now. So where was that when I asked you here is like we've got to say the things that we think we ought to say. You know send a message because I being have. I'm missing the other half was bad. Relief and inadequacy. Time out. They put you in the corner because you were bad. I'm sorry a rollercoaster. OK It's exhilarating. It has its moments and then it has those deep drops last one. Singleness feels like peanut butter. Without jelly. Now Peter up by the air you know I'm going to like my style. I'm liking this a lot and I'm like you know a lot because it gives us a good place to start. Is peanut butter a good thing is peanut butter healthy. Does peanut butter face taste good. If you're allergic you might have to use almond butter for this analogy. OK. It's got all kinds of protein or kinds of food value. OK it's a wonderful thing on bread all by itself. So Origen algae this peanut butter without jelly works for the place that I'd like us to begin. You can have me. All right let's try a little hour. OK thank you so much. And again if you need to remind me do that. And sometimes I think it's when I put my head out through. All right let's start with the place that we need to begin the first session that we did. Invest session for a woman was a session on identity. Who are we. To understand your singleness or anyone else a single mess we have to start with the question of who are we. You understand that in the Bible God created Adam. And at first. Adam was by himself. And that first by himself. Adam and God had a relationship before God said Eve. God and Adam. Were talking. God and Adam were interacting. God gave Adam a purpose before God gave Adam Eve Do you remember that. That in Scripture. Adam was in love. At that moment I am God were interacting and when you stand as a woman without a man. However you want to work there. I understand that the first thing we want to talk about. Is you. In relationship to God. When you were late to God. How do you relate to him. What is the relationship between you and God. What does Bible tell you about your relationship to God. God is our Father. That makes us his daughter. What does that mean to you. That love as a child. Oh good fathers never stop loving the children. But it also tells you that you are the daughter of a king. You other daughter of the thing of the universe. They usually get that. On any given day. Do you walk in there. Do you understand what it means that your father owns everything. Can do everything thinks everything is brilliant is creative is outstanding is overwhelmingly loving is honest and chill and kind. Do you get them. You know a little kiss my daddy. Can do this. I don't know about you out there but in my day. And they strut in the knowledge of what their daddy can't do. I think sometimes as women we forget who are their ears. And so we walk hunched over with our heads there a little discouraged down on ourselves. You don't have to be so proud of yourself you can walk with your head up high because you're proud of your diary. And because he says that all of that is for his family. He does. It all for us. Now we're making any sense to you because we're so worried sometimes about what we think we don't have that we forget what we have been given we forget what we got as work. I created you. I made you in my image everything to look you know looks like the father or child who looks like their brother. And they come in. I am John John the third. Am I. Gary is jug John Avlon. Very John John you know I look at. You know you're right he looks like he's there. He acts like is the hairy. Nothing in your life can take that away from you. Nothing that happens to you. Nobody who comes into your life or leaves your life can take that away from you you are you were. And you will always be a daughter of the king. No matter what you have done. He still has that. And no matter what you've done not always you that he but he says come on home. We'll deal with it just kept on coming. Tell me what you did so I can wipe it clean and we can move forward. Because I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH that you can't even believe how much I love you can you let me love you. That's a theme over these last few days. Now we're dealing with so as we look at who we are we can then move on to the concept of if I am who I am. Because of who God is who is God we ask you some things about your god. Number one. Is your god powerful. Is your God good. Is a powerful and good. That raises an interesting question that. If he has chosen. For you not to have a husband. Is it because he couldn't give you one. You said he was powerful. Is there because he is very good. OK So are you deprived. I hear you. You know it. Let me say how that response Caleb. God is good. Yes God is powerful. Yes. OK. The little that. Yes you deprive. I. What I'm going to suggest to you at this moment. Is that how you live your singleness is a statement about who your god is. Archibald MacLeish wrote a play called J.B. And in his play. He said If God is great that he's not good. And if God is good then he's not great. Because a good God who is not great has no control over bad things that happen. A great God that's not good has permits bad things to happen because he's evil. We as Christians believe that God is both great. And good. And how you with your singleness. As a measure of that. Bible says My God will supply all your needs. According. To His riches in glory. In James one he says every good and every perfect gift. Comes from God. So God has given you this life. And God has given you the single life for many of you in the room. And some of you are single never married. Some of you are single used to be married. Some of you are single through divorce. Some of you are single through death but you know something about singleness the reality is that most humans will be single for a season in their life. Either before they get married after they get married. OK. But most people will be single for three of them in their life. And for some of us. It may be our entire lives. It's OK Breathe breathe. You have to vent hyperventilate Bri. I'm here to tell you today that you may be single for your entire life. We'll talk about that in a moment. So. My God can supply. All of your dates. So as a single people. Our lives often say God has for God to supply my need. There are things that I need or to have a My God has somehow forgotten is put me in timeout and said wait to get. Why are you single. Why is it. Because he knows you're not ready. OK. So it's a lack in you why you're single at the moment. OK. Because you're too picky. I'm not willing to give what is out there. The God sending me. OK. Because it's God's will. The question of why you're saying go well and a lot of how we live signal. Jeremiah twenty nine eleven. I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a whole. And the future plans not to harm you. Point number one you are single. Because it is God's plan for your life at this moment. And every day in your life you are single you will be single because it is God's plan for your life at that moment. So for thirty something years I have been single because it is God's plan for my life. It is not God taking a pause before he gets to the plan for your life. This is not your waiting time until your life begins. This is God's plan for your life now. Is there a problem. It might not have been what you were hoping to hear. What would happen. If we lived our singleness as God's plan for us as God's gift of abundance for us. And I woke up in the morning. Not thinking. All right. How many more days. Do I have to get through. Before I get to my real life. How many more days. Do I have to struggle through. Before I get so why real life. But I understood that this is my real life. Whether you get married in the future or dart this is the life. God wants to shine through right now and for some of us. Our. Witness of who God is is brilliant it all kinds of areas and you know as I forty three where the text says Ye are my witnesses. There are other Gods and I am God and so you are the ones who demonstrate me. And I know women who are godly women who refract Christ totally till they get to this area of their lives. And in this area of their lives. Suddenly there seems to be a disconnect. We don't quite know how to talk about God and what God is doing in this area of our lives. Do you understand what I'm saying. But somehow so you know what we do we just get real quiet. We don't know what to say you know when people say to you why aren't you. Buried. And you don't know what to say. Don't you want to get married and you're not to say I don't know how to praise God in this. I am going to give you some answers by the way to those questions. So if I don't do it. Somebody call me on it. Here's something you can say. Well they say I don't hear very well you want to get married. But before we get to that. You are God's witness. And the single life is a witness of some things that married life is not married life is a wonderful thing. And it witnesses some amazing things watching a married couple. That Have a great marriage. Tell us some things about love and tell us some things about God that are amazing. Watching a vibrant happy fulfilled single person. Says a things about God that are basic. What do they say. What does a single life lived well say about God. In their content. They accept that God indeed is good. That you are fulfilling your purpose. All Christians are called to live their purpose. The plan that God has for you not in the future. Not in the long range plan not forget but day by day. A single life well lived. Is evidence of someone fulfilling God's purpose for this time and this moment in their lives. Do you know what your purpose is what is the call on your life do you know. If you don't know let that be your prayer point during this conference. And leaving this conference God What is my purpose. What is the call on my life right now. Not twenty years from now ten years from now because we don't know where God's going to take us. But right now. You know what happens to some of us we think we are map makers. That it is our job to write the map of our lives we are not map makers God makes the map. You can plan your trip. But have you have a plan a trip and you go out there. And then you pull the matter in you rather realize there was construction. And you couldn't go the way you planned. You were on the road and you got somewhere and you realize it was a big detour. So when you make the plan for your life. Understand you're planning a trip or God wrote the map. And he has the right on that map to have anything he puts mountains. Valleys rivers. Stop points. All of those are his. We do not take from him what belongs to him as his right. You understand that's idolatry. When I try to do what only God could do I have made myself my own idol. So that life that you plan that was based on little bit on Harlequin movies. Romance novels some other things that tell us about what love and romance ought to be you understand that sometimes we feel deprived because we're looking for the fantasy. In our family with say from time to time. Forget the fantasy. You know we have these fantasies Christmas is going to be like this. But has it all clicked this and we're going to do this or that there and then you get home and you remember. No that's not my family. That was a movie. Don't do that in your life. We have that fantasy. And he's going to come along. And he's little like this and we reach out for me like this is going to be roses and he's around the bath. And the man that God gives you by the way if he gives you world may not bring roses and run. Baths and God will still have given him to you. My God will supply all of your needs. What are the needs that you perceive you have as a single person that you believe are not being supplied. What is it that you need that God is our supply. Now you are saying that they like. I don't think like that. Yes you do. We are. What are some of those things. Companionship. I'm single and I have no companion. Do you have companionship. Can you get companionship is the man the only way that we get companionship has God has God place companionship in your life. Are you making the most of it who are the people that God has placed in your life to walk obvious journey with you doesn't really matter if they're male or female. If God has provided you companionship but I know women who are missing the companionship the God has provided while they're waiting for the companionship they think they ought to have. So we don't be of the relationships. Perhaps that we ought to because we're waiting for God to send the one but he's the only one capital all that. Just man. Intimacy. Single women don't have intimacy is that true. What is intimacy. What is intimacy Let's talk about intimacy in general and then we get to the US where the other S. word hold that for a minute. Single women don't have intimacy. What is intimacy. One hundred. Yet intimacy knowing. Thank you so much I appreciate that. Knowing and being known. Someone who really knows me someone that I really can expose myself to all of that I have all that I have and they're very know me as well and they love and accept me for who I am. Do single women have intimacy. God knows you. He wants to know you as much as you will let him know you. He knows you every want you to know him so he has your first and most important experience with intimacy married or single is your relationship with Jesus Christ. You should be able to tell God everything. In any way at any time. You should be able to show God you're ugly. Here we want to come to God Oh yes Lord. That's not the father. And everything you say father. And yes I believe that we should be able to say those things but we also can come like Joel. And others in Scripture. As a lot. I don't get more I've heard a lot you know at this moment. This is making me angry work with my and with me. God wants to know you totally. And he wants you to show yourself to him totally. But he also gives you intimacy with other people there are people in your lives. That God has put in your life for you to have closeness with. And usually. Those are people in your family. Those are friends. Let me suggest that you develop intimacy at this stage of your life as a single woman with other women. Let your emotional intimacy be with other women. Emotional intimacy with other males is problematic. With males is problematic. It's problematic at several levels. And I'm not necessarily talking right now about sexual intimacy. Talk about emotional intimacy that connection. This is the person who really knows me and understands me and gets me and I really know and understand them. One of the challenges as a single woman is being careful not to develop emotional intimacy with other people's husbands. OK You know what I know right. It's easy to happen. Because there are people who believe I will tell you. You know you understand me better than cheat us. I can talk to her about those kinds of things but I can talk to you Ron. Ron. Not just because the possibility of progressing to physical intimacy exists but also because remember the Bible tells us about lust and adultery and fornication beginning in the mind. Emotional intimacy leads us to be connected and bonded to people who are in that case. God has not given us to be connected and bonding to guard your heart guard your intimacy be intentional about the people. God has placed in your life for you to reveal yourself to who will feel themselves to you. OK. Did I miss a handsome went a back. I felt like I missed somebody. OK. Other than intimacy. Let's talk about sexual intimacy now because we hear. OK so. I'm single. And Lord. You know what I really don't have to have sex. True. And if I read my scripture correctly. That's not a gift. He's planning to give you while you're single. So it actually is one of those things on the list but you don't get. And so you're greatly deprived. When we go around the whole is the blame is how you know this is the only one by the way on the list but you don't get so let's say you know there are ten gifts in this basket. And you get mad I and you didn't get a tenth what I'm going to start Muffy and carry on because Lord I didn't get no one was. I'm here to tell you you will survive. You will make it. It's all right. And you can make it for thirty years. Thank God for His keeping power. OK it's not about what you do is it won't be about what you do believe me or be about what God does. God will keep you and my married friends tell me that you're missing some where you're not missing as much as you think you're missing. It's a wonderful thing sex in marriage is a wonderful thing and my friends attest to that. But for them. Marriage is so much more that that becomes a relative small relatively small piece of a big pie is it wonderful. Yes you live without it you live without it. When you wake up days. I think or you know my body really really really would like to be with somebody else's body. Yes. But I also wake up there is that I say a lot. I really really really love that cheesecake. And what I tell you about your dietary needs now is that we look at the Cheesecake we turn our backs. We walk away and we eat the fruit on the table. The more said you can have all this other stuff and not that one. OK Lord. So I give you that peace and on those days where it seems like this is so traumatic and so major and such a big part of your life. Those are the places and times when it's so important to give back to God those desires that we have Lord. This is my feeling. This is what I'm going through. I give this to you. I submit this to your greater wisdom the same way that you have to do with diet the same way that you have to do with dress the same way that you have to do with all the areas of your life. Now if you want to talk practical strategies we can do that too. You know what do you do how do you do it and how do you make it work. Purity for single women requires intentionality you've got to have a plan. You've got to have a plan. This does not work. Just naturally. We are naturally people who love to cuddle love to touch love to feel. Right. Who are around men who love to touch. A lot of the feel so you have to have a plan how my going to do this. What do I have in place to ensure that I am faithful to God in this area. How many of you in the room are vegetarian or vegan. All right. How do you make that work. I mean how do you make that work. And I have rigorous. Every check in and then how do you know I did it. Because you made a decision. You asked God for His grace to keep that decision and you keep making that decision day by day and after a while that decision becomes natural because things are built in place. You know when you travel you might have to take some food with you. You know when you get into Tell You might have to look up on your phone and find out where the place is you can meet your attention all about it. Can we be intentional intentional about our celibacy and that has today. This is something we give to you show me how to work it. And when you start dating people you have to be even more intentional. What are the rules. How are we going to obey those rules. How do I hold myself accountable. I have people who call me when I'm out with people who check it with Lee I have people i Report to when I get home having to do a good day how faithful to God where you are and something about having the tell that story later. The. Helps you. But helps you. But you can also learn places and you can do certain things. And if you want to speak more specifically will do it but let's cover a couple more things. What else do you think you've been has been taken away from you. Physical Touch who you had. And who helps you make sure you have some hugs. Be intentional. But who and when I say that there is something called Skin hunger that when you have an. Human beings were made to touch. And so when you don't touch people you haven't touched people for a long time you become much more vulnerable to the kind of touch that you try to avoid make sure there are people in your lives that you can touch safely and who can safely touch you. Family friends give those hugs to the people who are safe to hug so that they can get their quota of skin touch for the day that. Make it appropriate. Do you have kids. And the kids in your life. One of the things we worry about a single people is being denied children. And that's amazing to me in some ways. Because we have the society that mothering is about having a biological child. And for many of us if we don't have one or we're not given one. Then what clearly are not chosen for mother. My experience has been that most of us are called to mother. It's whole and have to look very carefully around you. For the children. God has placed in your life who need you to mother or the kids at your church for example who needs somebody to take them places. Somebody who has the time that their parents may not be able to give their kids or your church who need things that you might be able to purchase because as a single person you have more discretion and that family might not be able to afford to have you ever taken a kid to the Children's Museum. Ever is the most exciting experience. You take this kid through the museum and they get as excited over this and they're looking at there they were all there is how well they are just having fun watching them. And of course I get to play to. What is it that you could give to the children that God has given to you. Some of them will be in your lives for a long time. Some of them will be your life for a short period. Some of them may end up in your life permanently. You may be the only mother that some kids will get so we want to deny them that because we're worried that we don't have biological children are you hearing me. We're talking about God's call on our life and this season of your life and what you can do in the season of your life. There's so much open to us in this season and one of them is children. And believe me if your church doesn't have children. They're boys and girls clubs there are all kinds of opportunities out there where the children who are in need of mentoring and leadership and love and affection education and so forth and so on. Where I'm blessed. Lastly about physical help. Who I don't have a husband. There's nobody there so we put up the book a really really. One let me suggest that you get a group of your girlfriends together and learn how to put up the bookcase. Secondly. There are families in the church that are willing to help us if we're not so fixated on. It has to be this kind of person this kind of way. I promise you. So Mansur's the questions the people ask when I ask people what's the greatest issue in singleness for many people it's. Other people and their issues with my singleness in our first session. One of the things that I said is be careful about our. Other people to call you talk about you talk to you in ways that God doesn't call you. If God does not say that my singleness is a curse. Then you know what if you have that issue. I respect that but that's your issue. If God does not see my singleness as a curse is marriage a blessing. Yes. Is marriage desirable. Yes. Are we all going to get married. No probably statistically of all. There all of us all the single will the women in the church will get married. Let it sink in. It's OK you'll be all right. It's OK. And I'm not saying that marriage is God does not have marriage in the works for you. I'm saying you don't know I'm saying you know now yes you had your hand that. Yes. Other people have issues. Understandably. So when people say why are you not married. Why are you still single. What do you say. I'm sorry I didn't hear it well you remember we talked about that how submit to whichever the kindness the generosity but I understand that feeling of wanting to say you know if you move out of my life and my issues. However how about I'm single because that is what God has blessed me with at this point in my life. Why are you not married because in this is not my life. Where God has blessed me with a single MOUs. Don't you want to get married. You know I'm always kind of fascinated by that when people ask me that don't you want to get married. Now if I said no. What are you going to say next. However. How about if and when God wills it for me and not before I want to get married. If or when God wills it for me and I don't want to get married a moment before. So if God wills it great when we were great in the meantime let's live our lives the life that God has given to us now. When you send me what about children. I love them. They're wonderful. That's what about them. Don't you worry about not having children now because I'm working hard with the ones that I have the ones that God has placed in my life with actually have a lot of time and energy every choir from me. I we make some kind of connection here are we. Answering some of the questions that you're bringing to the table. One of the things that people say that they don't have is passion. Single women are to be some of the most passionate woman in the world. Passion for God passion for other people. Passion for the purpose that he has given us and we get to throw everything that we have into it isn't that what Paul says the married women have to be toward their husbands and single women can be focused on what it is that God has placed in their hearts and their passion. If you are involved in your purpose and your passion. Living your life fully you understand that your preparing yourself well for marriage or singleness. Living a full single life prepares you well for marriage how so. If you can't be satisfied with yourself. How will you be satisfied with another person. OK. OK. Nobody wants to marry a boring person as a result of a healthy. One of the things that you're busy doing in your life as a single woman. You're creating a home. Are you not. I'm a single woman who are waiting to prepare a home because a real home has a husband and children. A real home is a place where humans live. If you live somewhere then you have a home and you ought to be making it one. Because the place that you live look wonderful Does the place that you live feel comfortable that is the place that you live have all of the things that you can invest in making this a nurturing environment in your home whether it's an apartment or a room do the people in your home even if it's just you eat well and we got a really cooked food where we have a husband because there's nobody to appreciate. What are you trying to have or. Who are your friends they don't care about. So are you cooking good food. Are you creating a wonderful environment to live in. Are you. Be working on your submission to God and other people are you learning how to yield. Yesterday we talk about beautiful women and all the characteristics of women who reflect the image of God and my developing my beauty. You're going to need it. Whether you're single or married if you're single for a long time. You know you've got one home and if you're married you and the man you live with will were home so either way am I. Building the kind of life. That if God bring somebody else there some thing for that person to connect to and move into or am I. Busy. In my corner. With my hands folded waiting. I used to talk about singleness as waiting I don't longer do that. Because I think it helps into a concept that says life begins after this life is now. God has given it to you now. And you have to work with it. Now there's an image of the Bible and then I find very attractive when I think about single verse. If you turn with me a second. Samuel I believe a second. Samuel sex. And it's an image that I'd like you to see in your mind. Let's go to the second time in six. Verse fourteen. And it says they will dance before the Lord with all his might and David was girded within and. And what's actually happening in the story is they're bringing the Ark of the Covenant back and David is so excited about what God has done and what God is going to do and he just gets all excited and he's dancing like crazy. OK by himself in front of this crowd of people. And in the story when you work at verse sixteen and also verse fifteen David and all. The house of Israel. Brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and rejoicing in the sound of the trumpet. And then in verse sixteen as the Ark of the Lord came into the city of David Michael Saul's daughter looked through a window and he saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord and she despised him in her heart. And in verse twenty they would return to bless his household and Michael the daughter came out to meet David and said How glorious was the king of Israel today. King uncovered himself in the eyes of The Handmaid's and his servants. And David said unto Michael. It was before the Lord. Which shows me before I father and before all the house. Therefore I will play before the Lord. And I will be yet more vile than this. And based on my own sight. If I can dance before the Lord. Your singleness is a life that you live before the Lord. It's a life that you live and if people don't understand it. That's OK but this is the life you are living. That God has given to you live it with abandon. Live it with passion. I think it's also what Chamber says Chambers who says. When the Lord of the word of the Lord comes to you in whatever way imaginable recklessly abandon. Can you see yourself living that kind of life. A life that's passionate. That's full that's overflowing that has all these gifts that other people look at you and say all you know that's what it looks like when somebody is living a life and all they have is God. And you know that life says to me. God is enough. God is sufficient. I want what she has with the kind of life that don't. The people don't say she wants what they've got. They said they want what you have. And what you have is God. That image of David dancing in front also gives me another image. A ballet. An orchestra. A group of people playing together a group of people that sing to gather and then someone is chosen to do the solemn. Someone is chosen to be out front by themselves. The solo and the length of the solo differ. There are ballets where there's a whole long solo. There are choirs and orchestrations where the solos very short it's only for a little while. But you realize that there's something special about being chosen to solo. About being chosen to do life for a season however long that season is by yourself with God. It's an awesome gift. It's an incredible gift. When you get if you get to be the one that dances the duet. That's great. It will be wonderful but for now you've been asked the solo sharpen your instrument. Practice your steps and do it. As David did to the Lord. That's what he's asking for you. The same thing asks everyone live your life. To the Lord. Was as I am come. That they might have life. And then they might have it abundantly. I live in an abundant life. Is there an area of your life that sort of packed away in the. Horner where the abundance exists over here in the poverty is over there. Your singleness into that life of abundance. After your singleness to God as a gift. Yes it costs you something. But I'm here to tell you marriage will cost you something else life. Cos I will not offer anything that costs me nothing. So yes this impasse with the gear. The joys. If we allow them to be are overwhelming. I'm going to close. With an experience. Those of you who were here yesterday. Know that yesterday morning. By accident quote unquote the bath was running for me. And I had a bath. And I was all excited as you know bathing in a real bath tub is pampering. Yesterday I got a rose. Pink rose. In my presentation. And after the presentation I think it was the first one. Somebody in the audience and I don't know who she is and I'm just kind of excited about her brought me and I meant to bring it today and I did and I apologize a pink paper rolls. Made out of notebook paper. And it's gorgeous and she handed it to me and walked away. And I didn't think about it much. I was talking to people and I put it down. And I got back to the room and I put it on the next to the bad and when I woke up this morning. I opened my eyes and I turned over. I had a wrong. I had a pink rose. And I was reminded years ago. I spoke some when I spoke about boxes and one of the young. Ladies at the high school made me a paper box. And she gave it to me and she had no idea what it meant I had been very discouraged I said God I'm not getting through to people if I call my mother and I said Mom I want to come home NOW WHEN YOU DOING week of prayer. You should not call your mother and tell you want to come home and my mother bless her heart. God gives us saintly people in our lives. Now you know coming home. It doesn't matter if you're successful or not. Are you faithful. And you know you go back to work. And that evening. This young lady handed me this box this little paper box and I heard it as God saying you know what I'm working you stop worrying and let me work so I look at this paper rose this morning and I'm saying you know. It's another paper thing. You're working. I need to stop worrying and let you work last night. I had food delivered to my door. One of the people in the audience. We were talking last night and I was tired and I didn't realize how tired I was because I can I get a meal for you and I say you know I was trying to say no don't do that. Take the love when it comes. It was a euro having no idea that that's how far it was going to go. She got out she went out she went to a place got me vegan Vietnamese food was good was good. And delivered it and delivered it literally to my door. And I sat in bed in a the in Vietnamese. So what am I saying we feel so deprived. Because what I don't have a man to run about for me. I don't have a man to bring me flowers and I have a man at the end of the day when I'm tired to go out and get me food. I don't have a man to do those things. Well I have a God who knows that sometimes I need roses. Sometimes I need food delivered to my door. Sometimes I need a bath run until rugs your E.A.A. and be taken care of. Does he do that for me every day now. Well when you get a husband one hundred for you every day even I sometimes God just says let me love on you. You're my child. You're my daughter. You're my single princess and I know you don't have a man. So let me love on you. And sometimes we're so busy watching for the man that we missed the god. We're so busy missing the man. That we reject the God no. Lord I don't want that from you. I want to from a man and I'm not going to take it from you because you didn't give me a man. My challenge to you two things like God love you. Let God love you the way that he wants to love you. Extravagantly and without and and continuously. And then let that love flow through you to the people he's given you the children. The other women. The families. Let that love flow out in incredible ways. So that if marriage comes you're ready because you know how to love extravagantly. And if it doesn't come you don't have to worry because you just keep living the life that God has given you. You just keep living the joy that God has given you. So as you leave. Victory is mine. Victory today is mine. I told Satan. Get thee behind. Because victory today is mine. Joy is mine. Joy today is mine. I toss a get me behind because Joy. Today is mine. Leave here and walk in the victory. Walk in the joy. Enjoy the solo. For as long as it live. Let God love you and shine through you. Witness what a Christian single life looks like. Shall we pray God. I hope. As we work together today. Now what we've done more than anything else is to lift you up. I hope Lord. That in the midst of all of our talking what we've done more than anything else is to show who you really are and Lord if I fail to do that. Holy Spirit do it in my place. Let no woman leave here today without having a better understanding of who you are and how much you love us Lord the life you have given to us as a single woman. Is not always rosy. Sometimes well lonely sometimes we feel cold. Sometimes we hear these voices around us and we feel that we're not enough. And we've done something wrong or we've somehow failed and we thank you. That your word reminds us that we are enough that we are the woman that you die. For but you said I Vy you would give your whole life for and nations for us just the way we are in the place where we are. And Lord. We want to thank you for placing us where we are because you did it intentionally. You did it with purpose. And you did it because you have a work for us to do in the season of life that we are we want to submit to you for your guidance. Give each woman in this room Lord such a strong sense of the work that you have given to her in the place that you put her and then Lord shine through us shine through us touch the people around us. The man the woman the children. The people on our jobs touch people in such a way that they look at us and they want what we have because what we have is you. Thank you for being you know we thank you. This message was presented at the G Y C twenty sixteen conference when all has been heard in Houston Texas. I see a supporting ministry at the Seventh Day Adventist Church seeks to inspire young people to be bible based Christ centered and so winning Christians for other resources like this visit us online at W W W G Y C. Where you wear jeans.

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